S1:Why would you stay in that marriage? I hate cheating, but like I get it in this case. What I don't understand is why did you stay in that marriage? Why?
S1: Yea I get where op was coming from but yea probably shoulda just left. it’s risky to cheat even as the person being neglected because if she gets proof of that and she divorces you she’s raking you over the hottest of hot coals in the divorce homie and like wise if she did it if you feel neglected may as well just split might have to take a hit but at least you’ll be free
I hate cheaters, but you know what? I would go as far as to say that OP didn't cheat. ELEVEN YEARS she rejected him. As far as I'm concerned, his marriage was dead, and only existed on paper. He shouldn't have done it (the not cheating cheating), he should have left. But I still don't think something like that would be cheating in such an extreme case. Typical of reddit to assume he was a scumbag who never did anything.
It’s still cheating. He’s still a pos. He should’ve straight up told her that if he isn’t getting it at home, he’ll get it somewhere else, or they can divorce. I hate stories where women give those ultimatums, but it’s better than cheating
Nah he is still as wrong as any cheater. The eleven years makes it more understandable but not any less wrong. And it doesn’t even sound like he had any sort of proper sit down conversation with his wife about this, just tried a few times to get sex and she turned him down and he just never said anything about it. Odds are she was cheating on him first anyways but now he can’t even use that as justification because he didn’t try to solve anything and he cheated without any knowledge of wrongdoing on his wife’s part besides the lack of sex.
Any woman over 20 should be treated as an adult, except when it comes to sex and relationships apparently, 20 is too young, they cant be expected to make a mature decision according to reddit. Maybe we should bring back arranged marriages since 28 year old women cant be trusted to make relationship decisions
11 years of no sex in the absence of some medical or health condition is worse than cheating in my opinion. They are both massive violations of the marriage commitment.
Facts. That woman is demented to think a child from a foreign country and culture was supposed to magically know she'd blow a gasket over a song done in humor
I was waiting for a double standard comment to happen... 11 years... yeah, I would have just left. She never played the part and was just a stranger. It's a social etymology for the negative comments OP got. Even the therapist gave up on his ex... that's really bad.
It's easy to say he should've just gotten a divorce, but he lasted longer than the majority of women in the same situation. A lot of people would would not even last a couple of months, let alone years.
I wouldn't look at staying in a sexless marriage for 11 extra years as a badge of honor. Its pure stupidity. If you waste time, time will waste you. He lost 11 years. 11 years of possibly a new relationship with a different Woman, a different life. Instead he just stuck around. I think he lacks self respect. A marriage without sex is just a friendship.
@@jeffsoltis9864not saying it's a badge of honor. Just saying if the roles were reversed alot of people would give her the pass for less than 1/4 of the time he lasted.
Story 1 OP should of just divorced her before he cheated on her story 2 OP your not the ahole at all and you deserve respect for your family for having your own life as well and you don’t deserve to be treated like crap from your parents and having children to be dumped on you
This guy should have left the wife after the first 6 month of sexlessness , whats the point of having a wife if there is no sex? Everything else comes after sex
0 seconds in. Communicate communicate communicate. That said, you Should've left. Just better to leave than to cheat. By cheating you made your life needlessly complicated
S1 op did the right thing. In the end anyway. Wasting 11 years trying to find intimacy while still being strong enough for the kids. How is cheating worse than suffocating. In my eyes its on the same level especially when the gatekeeper is fully aware. Feel bad for the kid and the time wasted
18:50 "Your wife definitely sounds American. And I say that as an American myself." GFY. There's nothing more repugnant than someone smearing their own culture, like everybody behaves the same. So tiresome 🙄
She may have been dealing with someone herself. She def say him as a doormat, she took all the benefits of marriage from with no physical connection? Sheesh
Instead of cheating on his wife op should have just file for divorce and let his wife move on with his life story 1
Yeah, when his wife said you aren't getting sex after a 5 year dry spell, that's when you demand counseling or a divorce.
Dude is 11 years late on filing for divorce. No Man in his right mind should ever deal with a sexless marriage. Thats not marriage, thats roommates.
11years , the hell with that.
S1:Why would you stay in that marriage? I hate cheating, but like I get it in this case. What I don't understand is why did you stay in that marriage? Why?
Story 1 is a great example of why men shouldn't go to Reddit for advice.
S1: Yea I get where op was coming from but yea probably shoulda just left. it’s risky to cheat even as the person being neglected because if she gets proof of that and she divorces you she’s raking you over the hottest of hot coals in the divorce homie and like wise if she did it if you feel neglected may as well just split might have to take a hit but at least you’ll be free
I hate cheaters, but you know what? I would go as far as to say that OP didn't cheat. ELEVEN YEARS she rejected him. As far as I'm concerned, his marriage was dead, and only existed on paper.
He shouldn't have done it (the not cheating cheating), he should have left. But I still don't think something like that would be cheating in such an extreme case.
Typical of reddit to assume he was a scumbag who never did anything.
It’s still cheating. He’s still a pos. He should’ve straight up told her that if he isn’t getting it at home, he’ll get it somewhere else, or they can divorce. I hate stories where women give those ultimatums, but it’s better than cheating
Nah he is still as wrong as any cheater. The eleven years makes it more understandable but not any less wrong. And it doesn’t even sound like he had any sort of proper sit down conversation with his wife about this, just tried a few times to get sex and she turned him down and he just never said anything about it. Odds are she was cheating on him first anyways but now he can’t even use that as justification because he didn’t try to solve anything and he cheated without any knowledge of wrongdoing on his wife’s part besides the lack of sex.
Any woman over 20 should be treated as an adult, except when it comes to sex and relationships apparently, 20 is too young, they cant be expected to make a mature decision according to reddit. Maybe we should bring back arranged marriages since 28 year old women cant be trusted to make relationship decisions
11 years of no sex in the absence of some medical or health condition is worse than cheating in my opinion.
They are both massive violations of the marriage commitment.
I feel bad for op and his kids because op wife always find something offensive about anything 🤦🏻♂️ story 3
Facts. That woman is demented to think a child from a foreign country and culture was supposed to magically know she'd blow a gasket over a song done in humor
I was waiting for a double standard comment to happen...
11 years... yeah, I would have just left. She never played the part and was just a stranger.
It's a social etymology for the negative comments OP got. Even the therapist gave up on his ex... that's really bad.
It's easy to say he should've just gotten a divorce, but he lasted longer than the majority of women in the same situation. A lot of people would would not even last a couple of months, let alone years.
I wouldn't look at staying in a sexless marriage for 11 extra years as a badge of honor. Its pure stupidity. If you waste time, time will waste you. He lost 11 years. 11 years of possibly a new relationship with a different Woman, a different life. Instead he just stuck around. I think he lacks self respect. A marriage without sex is just a friendship.
@@jeffsoltis9864not saying it's a badge of honor. Just saying if the roles were reversed alot of people would give her the pass for less than 1/4 of the time he lasted.
@@dmagician3318hell no we wild not give her a pass for doing the same thing as him.
Story 1 OP should of just divorced her before he cheated on her story 2 OP your not the ahole at all and you deserve respect for your family for having your own life as well and you don’t deserve to be treated like crap from your parents and having children to be dumped on you
Op needs to go no contact with her family because op family doesn’t see op as a daughter but’s slave they raise story2
This guy should have left the wife after the first 6 month of sexlessness , whats the point of having a wife if there is no sex? Everything else comes after sex
Is the girl 26 or 28 ?? I hate these stories sometimes I pay to close attention and once something doesnt add up I loose interest so quick smh
They met when she was 26 and that’s when the cheating took place, he’s now in an actual relationship with her and she’s 28 now.
The first story is leaving alot out and alot doesn't add up.
I have a friend who went thru the same thing, now he is so happy now that he has a good woman in his life.
0 seconds in.
Communicate communicate communicate.
That said, you Should've left. Just better to leave than to cheat. By cheating you made your life needlessly complicated
This!!!
Competition anxiety @05:00
S1 op did the right thing. In the end anyway. Wasting 11 years trying to find intimacy while still being strong enough for the kids. How is cheating worse than suffocating. In my eyes its on the same level especially when the gatekeeper is fully aware. Feel bad for the kid and the time wasted
18:50 "Your wife definitely sounds American. And I say that as an American myself."
GFY. There's nothing more repugnant than someone smearing their own culture, like everybody behaves the same. So tiresome 🙄
She may have been dealing with someone herself. She def say him as a doormat, she took all the benefits of marriage from with no physical connection? Sheesh
I'll give you 2 years after the baby. 1 year for you and another with us actively trying to resolve the situation. I'm out if that can't fix it.
2 years after childbirth that's excessive but to each their own.