It's so hard to find an educational video specifically on Aromanticism and not just having a quick reference to it in an Asexuality video. I'm so glad these are being made! Thank you! I just wish more people would recognize Cupioromantics. In case you don't know, a Cupioromantic is someone who is Aromantic but still would like to be in a romantic relationship. You don't have to be romance repulsed to be Aromantic, (which took me a very long time to realize) and I'm so glad this video didn't reinforce that stereotype. Again, thank you
Thank you for your comment. 💜 Despite being a romantic asexual, I knew this video needed to be made. Even being asexual doesn’t mean you don’t have sex, so same with aromantics. Behavior is not the same as attraction. The first step is introducing the idea. The next step is outlining the nuance. Nothing is black and white. I mean, aromantics are green, gray, black, and white! ☺️ Thanks again for sharing your POV. Hope you don’t mind I pinned your comment.
As someone who’s probably cupioromantic but hasn’t fully committed to it yet, I did _not_ expect any of the top comments, let alone the pinned comment, to mention it. Thank you and thanks to hippie for pinning it.
That sort of describes me. I like the idea of being in a relationship (I call it more quasi-romantic than romantic) and I love being with my boyfriend, I love him dearly the same way I love my best friend, but I'm also sexually attracted to him. I think when he does romantic stuff it's nice but nothing special to me, like going on dinner dates my first thought is "I can't wait to eat sushi" and see a romantic date and hanging out with him to play videogames as a distinction without a difference. I have autism so I might be mistaking/conflating a QPR for a mixed-orientation romantic relationship, or it might be a kind of hybrid of the two. I dunno.
Thanks a lot - I've just recently gotten to know a young man who identified all his life so far as just a fuckboy because before he wasn't able to explain his lack of romantic interest in any other way. It's really sad what society does to people and their self image by just not talking about these issues. And especially by saying that people who aren't interested in romantic relationships are cold selfish people.
Society's constant focus on romantic love is ridiculous and unfair. Platonic love is powerful and important, but there are so many ways to love someone without it being romantic. Romantic love isn't stronger or more valuable than platonic love, it's just different. (And apparently has the symptoms of a panic attack)
@@tegxi YES! I am so very close to my best friend, but when she moved in with her boyfriend our relationship changed. I couldn't sleep in the bed with her anymore, our time was more limited. And don't get me wrong, he's a great guy and they have been together happily for ten years, but why is that relationship so much more important to society?
You know what annoys me so much? Explaining aromanticism and the person still not understanding a word I just said. Like, I’d simplify it so much that a 5 year old could understand it, yet nothing I’m saying is being processed by the other person and they still try to say that I’ll “change my mind”. It’s like- how much more can I simplify it for you? How much more can I possibly explain this? I’ve told you everything! There’s literally nothing else I can add! How are you not getting it? I end up just giving up and not talking to that person anymore.
I find these people don’t have the humility to accept that their worldview/experience is NOT the same as everyone else’s. Just because they experience romantic attraction DOESNT mean other people will! I hope you find people who understand you. 💚🤍🖤
Just finished watching your Ace video and saw a comment about you making an Aro video, glad I checked! I identify as aroace myself, and I just wish that people would see love for friends being just as important as romantic love. Ever since I was a kid it was always shown that the ideal life is finding a partner and settling down (like you mentioned), and I've tried to force crushes. All I've ever wanted is an apartment with my best friend where we can cuddle and watch movies and have a pet cat. Wish this type of stuff was shown to me as a kid so I didn't struggle and hate myself for being 'broken'. Loved the video, awesome resource!
Blahblah Randoms so glad you enjoyed the video! 💚 I’m not aro, but I’ve always felt a little hurt if people stopped talking to me after realizing I’m not a romantic option. Like, I’m still down to be friends! A life of movies with your best friend and cat sounds pretty ideal to me. 💚 Here’s to more education and representation for aros!
I also identify as asexual aromantic. Never wanted to have sex and although I do support friends and family to be romantic with each other, I don't really want someone to be like that with me. I like lame pick up lines spoken for the ironic humor. I can write romance and sex scenes but it's mostly what my mind thinks is what it is supposed to be like. I personally don't get it but I can pretend. Still don't want it because I am okay alone with family and friends.
Honestly. I kinda hate how media forget about platonic relationships, and how every relationship between a guy and a girl turns romantic. I enjoy romance, but sometimes I really just want a well written and wholesome friendship. People often forget that friendships can have just as much depth as romantic relationships.
And with societal enforced sexual and romantic monogamy we usually have way more friendships going then romantic relationships. But society values friendship less, it's so sad ...
I had never heard of the term Squish before, I just called them ‘friend crushes’ (cause I’m creative like that) but oh maaan have I had a lot of squishes
I sometimes wonder if I'm a little aromatic as well because throughout my whole life I've only really ever loved three things and two of those were fleeting in the sense that the feeling didn't really last long and one of those feelings was directed towards this cartoon character. It's weird because I often fantasize about romantic relationships but on the other hand I never really had a strong desire to get one and I'm currently happy without having one. I mean preferably I'll get one eventually but if I didn't I wouldn't be bothered because I'm just as happy having a fantasy about romantic relationships.
ACE CLOP so interesting. Do you think the storybook portrayal of romantic relationships in the media has played any role in your fantasizing romantic relationships? They’re much more attractive in the movies, I think. 😂 Thank you for your comment ACE CLOP. 💜💚
@@hippiecalico I'm not sure it's like imaging an emotional relationship with someone makes me feel happy inside but it's not something that I have a strong desire to actually act out in real life like I would given the opportunity if I liked the person but at the same time it's not something that I would get worked up over and I've never really had those feelings of " Butterflies " in my stomach even around the one girl I did " Love". It's especially weird because I didn't even feel love for her until she stopped giving me attention like I liked her but it definitely wasn't love so I think in a way I just enjoyed the attention more than anything. In addition since I'm ace, I don't really have a desire for kissing and stuff. As for the other person it was definitely love in a way because they made me really happy when I talked to them and I thought they were amazing and I even got a little aroused when they talked but I didn't want to have intercourse with them it's just that emotion often gets me stimulated and there was a lot of feeling and emotion when we talked. However again the feeling was really fleeting and it only lasted a while then it picked back up after we started talking again but it died again after a few days. Like in general I guess, I just don't experience romantic attraction as much as most people but still do rarely. However I've never understood why people get upset over not having one because to me it never seemed like a big deal. Like I'm equally happy fantasizing and cuddling my pillow pretending it's gallus or a wife and in some ways I think this would actually be better than being in an actual relationship. So it may not be full aromatic but I don't know. It's like I'm capable of romantic feeling but don't really ever experience it to the degree that others do
Thank you for this video. I always like seeing my own identity validated, and your style is very non-mocking/non-pitying when compared to other channels that do the same thing.
People need to talk about aromanticism a lot more, it's not a common topic, and because of that, lots of aro people like myself try to make ourselves have crushes when we were younger. I remember when I was in elementary school I would look around my class on the first day every year since third grade and choose someone to have a crush on and it was only like last year that I knew that aro exists and that's what that was. Thanks for making this video Also could you perhaps make a video at some point about polyamory? I myself am not polyamorous but it's something that is sooooooo misunderstood and therefore has so much negative stigma and I feel as though it needs to be more taught about, because it's extremely important
Calling me OUT: Not younger me giving a fake lover letter to a guy when i didn't want to date but just be friends- also ruining the whole thing bc i wanted to seem somewhat normal
i wonder why they don't. and would rather make a cartoon duck for preschoolers be gay rather than aromantic. because god forbid we let kids know it's normal and ok to not have those feelings for anyone
I think I belong to the grey aromantic area, because I've had crushes in the past but i could NEVER imagine myself involving in a relationship with them, (I'm 25 btw) so I've never been in one. It's so weird for me when people get all lovey dovey with their partners on social media and irl because i just don't see the point. I value my friendships and family so much but even thinking about romantic relationships makes me want to throw up.
Yeahhh a crush where you can't see yourself in a relationship with I think it's called a squish, and is platonic. I also had this same types of crushes but now I know they were not crushes and that I have never had a crush before.
thank you so much for making this video! i identify as ace aro, but i really love reading/watching/imagining romantic situations about other people, like shipping and watching romcoms and stuff. because of this some people have told me that im lying about being aro for attention. im definitely gonna share this video with them so they can see what being aromantic really is!
It’s always funny hearing people mistakenly tell you how your own sexuality works. I hope you don’t take their lack of knowledge too personally bc aros can DEFINITELY still enjoy romantic media! I enjoy John Wick, but I’m not going to become a trained killer, lol.
I'm ace aro too, and like that, but don't like all romance, sometimes I'm fully like you 😍 and sometimes I'm the stereotypical negative romantic aro 🤮 especially when if I try to imagine being in that situation (I tried this to confirm that I did not want one, AT ALL)
music2012pink yeah, for me it’s more like, reading about it happening to others is really cute to me, but if I imagine it happening to myself, I’m just like 🤢🤮
@@artxtr3431 I'm usually like that, but uselly only couples I like and real world couples. I usually avoid romantic movies etc unless I'm interested in the plot etc, not for the romance itself; unless I ship them like that.
I came out as ace 7 years ago, and lately have been wondering if I'm also aro. I dated another ace person last year (only person I've dated in the past 7 years) for a few months, and I definitely noticed that the person I was dating was much more romantically invested than I was, and despite both being ace, we had very different ideas of romance. I think maybe I was just squishing on them really hard. I know what it feels like to be in love. I was in love once like a decade ago, but aside from that one person, I don't think I've ever felt that kind of romantic attraction. The prospect of being single and sexless for the rest of my life seems pretty okay to me.
I'm aroace. I love seeing romance and even acting in romantic situations (like playing a character who has a giant crush). I think it's because it is like science to me, because i don't experience I feel nothing towards it so it's just interesting.
It’s a little scary not knowing your own romantic orientation. I worry that I’ll get in a relationship one day only to realize I’m incapable of having romantic feelings.
Here to please the all-powerful algorithm with my comment sacrifice (great job, your videos really have an excellent visual aesthetic that takes them that extra step above and beyond the typical video essay).
I've gotten married for convenience reasons. I always thought maybe my partners were lying or being over the top when they showed romantic gestures. I didn't understand how to respond because I didn't have the same feelings they did. I had just assumed everyone was faking it.
welcome to another episode of "am i arospec or do i just feel a disconnection from romance because of how heteronormative and allonormative it is presented in our society"
Ugh, amatonormativity sucks. For those who don't know what that is, it's the societal convention to rate romantic love over all other types of love, and assuming everyone wants and should want a romantic relationship above all else.
I always put friendships over romantic relationships. The way I saw it, romantic partners come and go, and friends are forever. But then I realise it's just me being aromantic, and not able to experience that kind of attraction, thus dismissing it altogether. Unfortunately, this isn't the deal with most people. Most people want that kind of romantic relationship, so making new friends and maintaining friendships gets more and more difficult.
I'm aro/ace and am in a QPR we plan to live together and want to raise a family. Things are always changing so we never know what the future will hold but so far it's been amazing and I love them alot
I am asexual aromantic evrytime I hear romantic things I feel like throwing up, but there's this show that I really like but it's more about compatibility I feel like I would love to have something like that but in real life evryones just about sex ,
I like how a bunch of other aro’s thought “I need to have a crush, it’s normal!” I just thought “Yeah, I’m not attracted to these people because they’re not good enough.”
Thanks so much for uploading this. I'm an ace but am still unsure boht where I am in the romantic scale of attraction. WTF has always seemed like the most apt one to explain my confusion 😅 I do like the idea of QPR though. Thanks for making this world a nicer place for all of us by spreading info on topics like these :)))
aditya banerjee aww, all i want to do is make the world a nicer place for everyone. That means the world. Thank you. 🤍💚💜🖤 Edit: honestly, I think QPRs are underrated. They seems so nice.
@@hippiecalico You're most welcome :)) I love the videos you've put out so far and am extremely eager to see where it goes! Re QPR, I agree, and I think it really should be something that should get representation in entertainment media, that would go a long way. Do you know of any examples in books, shows, movies etc?
Last year I discovered I am demiromantic and I've recently been feeling isolated. But watching your video reminded me that I'm valid and not broken so thank you so much for making this video💖💕
Thank you for making this! I’m ace/aro and it’s hard to explain myself in conversation. Now I can just show everyone this high quality video instead of trying to explain it (badly) You deserve way more subs!! If you upload every week, you should be able to get more subs (just a tip) thank you and good luck!
Thanks for the tip!! Once a week is my goal (but last weekend, took a break), so thanks for the extra motivation! ☺️💚 I hope these videos come in handy.
Hello! I just recently learned about these “animal rescue” channels that are fake and evil. I was wondering if you could make a video on it sometime to raise awareness about this topic. Here’s a link to a video about it: ruclips.net/video/KY25fv1RY5k/видео.html
There was this guy last year, when I was staying in Japan. We did a lot of great outings and I had great fun, but I was always worried that he would want to rush a relationship. I had a feeling it was on the table. I really wanted to try, because while I am AroAce I do want to experience a relationship. But every time he came closer my body would just move away. I am usually really clingy with family and sometimes friends, but I didn't want to touch him. So when the confession happened, I tried talking to him about me being AroAce. How I didn't feel what he was feeling, that it was too soon (we've known each other for about 5 weeks at this point). But he just insisted on holding hands and trying it, but I felt pressured and refused. Later he wrote me a message that he was drinking away his pain because of me and I was furious that he was gaslighting me. Nonetheless I tried to keep the friendship going but he went no contact. I still felt bad about it. I have this fear everytime a guy wants to get closer to me. I just think that, if you really cared for me and my presence, you wouldn't just run, when it's not that easy😔
I want to say thank you. The girl I was dating recently came out and told me she is aromantic; given her past experiences and her current feelings. We are still good friends and I think a video like this will help us as a starting point to learning about this topic.
Thank you very much for this awesome video! There are so many interesting nuances in this kind of topics. It really shows how common perceptions about relationships may be quite different from much more complicated and wonderful reality)
This is a great video that explains everything nicely, thanks for that! :) After you made the asexuality video I was hoping you’d one day make one about aromanticism, and I’m really glad you did.
as an aromantic bisexual I love this video to hell explain to people who don't understand it properly! peroanlly as an aromantic i experience zero romantic attraction but dont mind kisses and romantic actions i jjst dont desire them so I peroanally have and will be in relatio ships others would consider romantic but to me they just feel like an extension of friendship and I feel like the mention of queerplatinic relatio ships rlly helps with people understanding that more!
thank you for this video! i really enjoy listening to your calm voice and i'm really impressed by the quality. also i'm aromantic pansexual and it's so nice when i can feel your support from tone you're using in here. you got subscription and like from me! 💚 (sorry for my english) [edit: turns out that i'm aromantic greyasexual haha]
wait, do people ACTUALLY want to date their crushes?? having crushes and be fine with not engaging in anything with them isn't actually a thing between allos?
I lost a friend of mine earlier this year because I reached them months later asking to be friends again, they assumed I liked them romanticly but all I wanted was a platonic relationship with them. I kept telling them I'm not interested in a relatiyons not because that I didn't like them as a person but I just didn't feel a romantic attraction towards them.
I'm aro demi-pan, meaning I'm aromantic and pansexual but or a level which is considered around demi. I might could just use grey, but people keep being confused about it so I use what fits most. Mixing this mess with a high libido (literally non stop, besides while on period due to dyphoria, without taking the pill) I'm a mess who has no idea what to do most of the time. My sexual attractions usually forms within what people call squish I guess. Most of the times it takes month or even a year that I might get sexually interested into someone. If it happens I usually already have a great friendship with that person. Which I don't want to shatter with asking if they might would like to add a plus on the friendship. I don't have the desire for romantic relationships. I don't feel anything like that and don't want one. Instead I seek those deep bonds of friendship. Though I still kind of suffer due to wanting sexual acts with others. The situation is kind of bizarre, people tell me to just have one night stands but this is something which I definitely don't want. So I'm vibing my aro demi-pan wave and see if I might find a cluster of people where I get in.
Oh and I love romance in media! Not kissing because I dislike the concept of licking the inside of the mouth of another person and tasting their just chewd food. But in general I love it. It's like looking at a cute animal and thinking how adorable it is. I also love looking at friends being in happy relationships and feel nothing but compersion even IF I have some sort of own interest.
This is also a pretty fabulous video. Came here from the asexual essay, which is a topic I'm already pretty familiar with. I actually wasn't aware of the term "squish" before. That's quite an eye-opener!
It took me so long to realize this about myself because I always wanted to be in a relationship with someone, but I just find it impossible to like people in that way. I should have realized it years ago when I was forcing myself to have a crush on this guy just because I wanted a relationship :/
Thankyou so much for these videos, I’m still trying to figure things out my self, and as someone who doesn’t actively seek out romantic partnership it’s been hard to really figure out what my own alignment is. That being said, Thankyou!
I do fall in love but whenever i had been in the relationship i just ended up forgetting i was in it. I enjoyed the feeling of love but not the actually actions and rules that came with it. Yeah i did love you in that way once, but those left as fast as they came.
i went trough such a dificult time when I realised that i am aro (altought,i am still questioning because im 19,that is still very young age), and it is so exhausting and frustrating when people dont understand,or tying to "fix" me,etc,and especialy frustrating thing happened when I told m gf (now ex) and she literally attacked me and was mad at me because i am aro......
Ahhhhhhh!!!!!! I'm an asexual aromatic, and I freaking love how you explained this!!!!! It was very informative, even if I'm already aromatic myself. I found it especially nice at the part where you talked about different types of romantic attractions, and how great of a way you explained them. It was very interesting, even for an ace aro myself, to get stuff told in a different perspective. 💚🖤💚🖤
Yes! I’ve experienced squishes myself, and I’m convinced almost everyone feels them at some point. Some people are just so damn cool, you just wanna be in their realm. ❤️
thanks for your great videos. keep up the good work. its super interesting to learn new things and to hear about perspectives i've never really thought about.
I don't think the romantic type of love is special. And I am started to think that the romantic type of love isn't real. I mean about more than half of romantic couples either break up with each other or divorce each other, while most platonic best friends remain friends until death. Also, most people are pretty much comfortable enough to be naked around someone and have sex with someone that they have no romantic feelings towards. So sex isn't really a thing about romance. I think that having a platonic best friend is a lot better than having a romantic partner or spouse is. Having someone who's like a sibling to you is a lot better than having a romantic partner is. Also, you would more likely be much closer to a person who's like a brother or sister to you than you would be with a partner or spouse. People tend to fight with their partner or spouse a lot more than they do with a platonic best friend, and you never fight with your best friend the way you fight with your partner or spouse. Partners and spouses are just temporary. If you break up or divorce them, it's hard to go back to them. With your platonic best friend, you're going to make things work, because they are your best friend, they are your go to partner. It's always easier to make amends with them than it is with a romantic partner or spouse.
Also, there are a lot of toxic romantic relationships, while there isn't that many toxic platonic relationships. Like an example is that abuse happens a lot in romantic relationships, while abuse is rare in platonic relationships. So there is a lot of abusive romantic relationships, while there is isn't that many abusive platonic relationships. Why do you think abusive romantic relationships have a term for them called "domestic violence", while abusive platonic relationships don't have a term for them? It's because abuse in platonic relationships are very rare, while abuse in romantic relationships happens a lot. And also, a lot of people cheat on their romantic partners with someone else, while most people won't do stuff like that with their platonic best friends. Also, I heard that most people can live a life without romance and can still be happy. But most of the time, if someone doesn't have any platonic friends in their life, it can effect them really bad mentally; much worse than living a life without a romantic partner. In today's world, less people are dating and getting married now, and they seem to be more happy being single rather than being in romantic relationship with someone. Also, you're going to have a much deeper spoken understanding and connection with your best friend than you are with a romantic partner or spouse. So those are other reasons why romantic love isn't real or special, while platonic love is.
Ah thanks I was wondering and I genuinely still don't know... But I might be Grayromantic... Or Idk... I feel love towards someone but I've never had the interest in a relationship so its really weird because its like: "Yeah I love u too, but no thanks."
I think I've found my category. For all my life I've heard all this talk about how some day I'll fall in love, be swept up off my feet, and all that other horseshit that's never happened. I personally think all this talk of romantic love is a placebo effect, because if you experience it, then it's because you expected to. No one has ever really been able to describe it clearly, which reinforces my idea of it being a placebo effect. I've heard about you being head over heels in love. Well right now I'm head over heels because I'm in a sitting position, what's so unusual about that? I don't get this romantic love myth and probably never will.
hahha I love your description! I never got this either, and because I had no idea what romantic attraction is, I couldn't really identify as aromantic. But it seems like people do experience some types of feelings towards a person they find romantically attractive.
Is it wrong that I don't consider myself Aromantic, but I do consider myself Lithromantic? I know it's a subset, but I don't find that the definition of Aro describes me.
What does romantic love feel like? When I feel love inside of my body, it's a warm and relaxed feeling. Sometimes it heats up the cheeks. This is the way I feel normal love, but I'm not sure about romantic love
I don't know if I'm suppressing my romantic interests (cause male and gay) or I'm just aro. I'm kinda sad abt the fact I will never be able to relate to my friends. I've never met another aro person in my life.
If you (an allo person) operates off of the assumption that intimacy = romance, then sex for fun with someone you care about and says they care about you may look transactional. As if they put the intimacy coins in the vending machine and got the sex cola outta the bin at the bottom. You can do that, I guess, maybe even without knowing it due to believing you both experience love and intimacy the same way. But what may feel like a betrayal to an allo person may feel like "they're crazy" to an aro person. I've experienced this myself and you can see it take place with non-self aware possibly aro people who probably gave rise to the "virgins are crazy Wedding Crashers joke/trope". My story: I negotiated a FWB situation after realizing I didn't want to be mono with someone I was talking to and hadn't formally dated yet. He constructed an entire false narrative of a relationship in his head and got very passive aggressive and toxic. Had to cut him off completely in the end due to how mean he got. Super possessive, super passive aggressive, super sad/hurt and convinced we had a relationship that I never knew about. We had engaged in a dynamic for a while, some play, some sexual interactions, words of endearment/intimacy, and got to be better friends. To me it was a largely sexual relationship with someone who I considered a friend and potential partner. Intially it was mono, when I realized I didn't want that I clearly communicated it and we renegotiated terms. I assumed it was fine but he made it weird and became progressively more toxic, controlling and abusive. In the end he described me as "someone who he introduced to his friends as someone he intended to date". This was news to me. We had never disclosed that to his friends, or so I thought. You can probably see from my perspective and every person like me how insane that looks from an outside perspective. Communicate with your partners honestly and be an adult. It'll save everyone a lot of trouble.
For so long I have been wondering what could be wrong with me. I never experienced romantic feelings for someone, but I remember having a squish to a boy I was friends with in middle school, but now that I think about it, it could be that I was just confusing it for friendship. I also had a boyfriend in 10th in high school, but because he asked me out and he was hugging me... I felt trapped to say yes, but I broke up with him about a week later because it didnt feel right... then I thought I had another squish to one of my best friends again, but I didnt really feel it, I just thought I did because my female best friend would say that he and I would look cute together, but i feel again it was just friendship for him again as he was my best friend... and theres this boy who took me to prom who could have a crush on me, but I dont return any feelings like that besides a friend... I'm 19 now and I am still confused to everything of why i cant be "normal" in liking someone! But at least thanks to this video I at least can feel more clear of why it doesnt happen...
I kinda blamed Disney Channel and Nickelodeon for my intense desire to have a solid friendship with one person, an unbreakable platonic bond that stands the test of time, because pretty much every show I grew up watching had a duo of protagonists who were best friends, an unstoppable team. I could never manage to make friendships last, so I’m thinking gray-romantic kinda fits me better than the general aromantic
🤣 I'm really sorry to hear that. But let me tell you, years mean nothing. Last year I ended a 25 years of friendship, and before that I also ended 22 years of friendship. The longer you are friends with someone, the more you put up with their crap. And if you weren't friends for that long, you wouldn't think twice about cutting the person off. Think about it as quality over it being long term.
@@dawnriddler my poor social skills and my own failure to communicate or keep up enthusiasm for the relationships I could’ve forged with those individuals?
I guess I’m gray romantic bc I can get romantic feelings but I have no desire to have them or a relationship or romantic love. And yes I have been in love but it’s not a necessity for me. These days I’m not anti love but I’m good on I’m. this was so confusing but also enlightening. So much to research.
Here is a quick question, are crushes romantic in nature? I've fantasized about people sexually (without any romantic attraction.) I've called them crushes for a while now, because Idk what a crush that is only sexual in nature is called. Or maybe they aren't only romantic in nature and I was wrong the whole time.
As a kid, I had no crushes but I came out as asex years later. I've identified as an asexual for awhile. I was curious if I was somewhat aromantic. I think I'm in the grey-area because I'm stuck in between wanting a romantic relationship and literally not having a single crushー I have a squish though :
What do you call it when you're attracted to a males physical appearance and want their attention (cuddle and hang out) But don't want to get physically intimate with them? Like,no touching kind of thing
I’m not sure if I am aromantic because I’ve never had any interest in romance. I know that I am demisexual, but I’m still not sure where I would fall on the aromantic spectrum because I don’t really have any interest in pursuing romance.
It's so hard to find an educational video specifically on Aromanticism and not just having a quick reference to it in an Asexuality video. I'm so glad these are being made! Thank you! I just wish more people would recognize Cupioromantics. In case you don't know, a Cupioromantic is someone who is Aromantic but still would like to be in a romantic relationship. You don't have to be romance repulsed to be Aromantic, (which took me a very long time to realize) and I'm so glad this video didn't reinforce that stereotype. Again, thank you
Thank you for your comment. 💜 Despite being a romantic asexual, I knew this video needed to be made. Even being asexual doesn’t mean you don’t have sex, so same with aromantics. Behavior is not the same as attraction. The first step is introducing the idea. The next step is outlining the nuance. Nothing is black and white. I mean, aromantics are green, gray, black, and white! ☺️ Thanks again for sharing your POV. Hope you don’t mind I pinned your comment.
Niki Hampshire's videos are also great for explaining aromanticism, highly recommend them
As someone who’s probably cupioromantic but hasn’t fully committed to it yet, I did _not_ expect any of the top comments, let alone the pinned comment, to mention it. Thank you and thanks to hippie for pinning it.
That sort of describes me. I like the idea of being in a relationship (I call it more quasi-romantic than romantic) and I love being with my boyfriend, I love him dearly the same way I love my best friend, but I'm also sexually attracted to him. I think when he does romantic stuff it's nice but nothing special to me, like going on dinner dates my first thought is "I can't wait to eat sushi" and see a romantic date and hanging out with him to play videogames as a distinction without a difference. I have autism so I might be mistaking/conflating a QPR for a mixed-orientation romantic relationship, or it might be a kind of hybrid of the two. I dunno.
Thanks a lot - I've just recently gotten to know a young man who identified all his life so far as just a fuckboy because before he wasn't able to explain his lack of romantic interest in any other way. It's really sad what society does to people and their self image by just not talking about these issues. And especially by saying that people who aren't interested in romantic relationships are cold selfish people.
Myladyinred999 amen. Aros are just as valid as anybody else. A romantic relationship doesn’t make someone whole. 💚
Society's constant focus on romantic love is ridiculous and unfair. Platonic love is powerful and important, but there are so many ways to love someone without it being romantic. Romantic love isn't stronger or more valuable than platonic love, it's just different. (And apparently has the symptoms of a panic attack)
People constantly invalidate me because of societal expectations. It's ridiculous and annoying.
@@tegxi I love this!
@@tegxi YES! I am so very close to my best friend, but when she moved in with her boyfriend our relationship changed. I couldn't sleep in the bed with her anymore, our time was more limited. And don't get me wrong, he's a great guy and they have been together happily for ten years, but why is that relationship so much more important to society?
aroace just vibin, thank you for making us feel so valid 🙏🙏
Bruh, you’re so welcome. 💚
Wow I'm not an Aro but I have squished so hard on many a pal in the past. Haha I love that term
Acolytes of Horror I can relate. I need to incorporate it more into my vocabulary, haha.
I am Aro and haven't heard that term until now. I *love* it.
OMG SQUISH??? THIS IS THE CUTEST THING I'VE EVER HEARD, I HAVE SO MANY SQUISHES IN MY LIFE
Agreed and I feel you!
You know what annoys me so much? Explaining aromanticism and the person still not understanding a word I just said. Like, I’d simplify it so much that a 5 year old could understand it, yet nothing I’m saying is being processed by the other person and they still try to say that I’ll “change my mind”. It’s like- how much more can I simplify it for you? How much more can I possibly explain this? I’ve told you everything! There’s literally nothing else I can add! How are you not getting it? I end up just giving up and not talking to that person anymore.
I find these people don’t have the humility to accept that their worldview/experience is NOT the same as everyone else’s. Just because they experience romantic attraction DOESNT mean other people will!
I hope you find people who understand you. 💚🤍🖤
I actually don't understand romantic attraction lol
Just finished watching your Ace video and saw a comment about you making an Aro video, glad I checked! I identify as aroace myself, and I just wish that people would see love for friends being just as important as romantic love. Ever since I was a kid it was always shown that the ideal life is finding a partner and settling down (like you mentioned), and I've tried to force crushes. All I've ever wanted is an apartment with my best friend where we can cuddle and watch movies and have a pet cat. Wish this type of stuff was shown to me as a kid so I didn't struggle and hate myself for being 'broken'. Loved the video, awesome resource!
Blahblah Randoms so glad you enjoyed the video! 💚 I’m not aro, but I’ve always felt a little hurt if people stopped talking to me after realizing I’m not a romantic option. Like, I’m still down to be friends!
A life of movies with your best friend and cat sounds pretty ideal to me. 💚 Here’s to more education and representation for aros!
I also identify as asexual aromantic. Never wanted to have sex and although I do support friends and family to be romantic with each other, I don't really want someone to be like that with me. I like lame pick up lines spoken for the ironic humor. I can write romance and sex scenes but it's mostly what my mind thinks is what it is supposed to be like. I personally don't get it but I can pretend. Still don't want it because I am okay alone with family and friends.
Honestly. I kinda hate how media forget about platonic relationships, and how every relationship between a guy and a girl turns romantic. I enjoy romance, but sometimes I really just want a well written and wholesome friendship. People often forget that friendships can have just as much depth as romantic relationships.
And with societal enforced sexual and romantic monogamy we usually have way more friendships going then romantic relationships. But society values friendship less, it's so sad ...
@@hippiecalico I relate to this in a huge level 🥺
I had never heard of the term Squish before, I just called them ‘friend crushes’ (cause I’m creative like that) but oh maaan have I had a lot of squishes
i’m only recently finding out i’m aromantic. I always thought i was broken bc i could never find anyone attractive.
You can be aro and find people attractive, anyone can. A lesbian finding a man attractive and aesthetically pleasing doesn't make them bi
I sometimes wonder if I'm a little aromatic as well because throughout my whole life I've only really ever loved three things and two of those were fleeting in the sense that the feeling didn't really last long and one of those feelings was directed towards this cartoon character. It's weird because I often fantasize about romantic relationships but on the other hand I never really had a strong desire to get one and I'm currently happy without having one. I mean preferably I'll get one eventually but if I didn't I wouldn't be bothered because I'm just as happy having a fantasy about romantic relationships.
ACE CLOP so interesting. Do you think the storybook portrayal of romantic relationships in the media has played any role in your fantasizing romantic relationships? They’re much more attractive in the movies, I think. 😂 Thank you for your comment ACE CLOP. 💜💚
@@hippiecalico
I'm not sure it's like imaging an emotional relationship with someone makes me feel happy inside but it's not something that I have a strong desire to actually act out in real life like I would given the opportunity if I liked the person but at the same time it's not something that I would get worked up over and I've never really had those feelings of " Butterflies " in my stomach even around the one girl I did
" Love". It's especially weird because I didn't even feel love for her until she stopped giving me attention like I liked her but it definitely wasn't love so I think in a way I just enjoyed the attention more than anything. In addition since I'm ace, I don't really have a desire for kissing and stuff.
As for the other person it was definitely love in a way because they made me really happy when I talked to them and I thought they were amazing and I even got a little aroused when they talked but I didn't want to have intercourse with them it's just that emotion often gets me stimulated and there was a lot of feeling and emotion when we talked. However again the feeling was really fleeting and it only lasted a while then it picked back up after we started talking again but it died again after a few days.
Like in general I guess, I just don't experience romantic attraction as much as most people but still do rarely. However I've never understood why people get upset over not having one because to me it never seemed like a big deal. Like I'm equally happy fantasizing and cuddling my pillow pretending it's gallus or a wife and in some ways I think this would actually be better than being in an actual relationship.
So it may not be full aromatic but I don't know. It's like I'm capable of romantic feeling but don't really ever experience it to the degree that others do
ACE CLOP thank you so much for your perspective. ☺️ I enjoyed reading.
Holy cow...this really hits home.
@@GLORIOUSCHONK
I'm glad that someone else feels the same way lol
Thank you for this video. I always like seeing my own identity validated, and your style is very non-mocking/non-pitying when compared to other channels that do the same thing.
+JR Aw, that means so much! So glad you enjoyed it. 💚💜
People need to talk about aromanticism a lot more, it's not a common topic, and because of that, lots of aro people like myself try to make ourselves have crushes when we were younger. I remember when I was in elementary school I would look around my class on the first day every year since third grade and choose someone to have a crush on and it was only like last year that I knew that aro exists and that's what that was. Thanks for making this video
Also could you perhaps make a video at some point about polyamory? I myself am not polyamorous but it's something that is sooooooo misunderstood and therefore has so much negative stigma and I feel as though it needs to be more taught about, because it's extremely important
Calling me OUT: Not younger me giving a fake lover letter to a guy when i didn't want to date but just be friends- also ruining the whole thing bc i wanted to seem somewhat normal
@@checklist06 uggh felt that ngl - i definitely ruined at least one friendship bc i wanted to have a crush and be 'normal' lmaoo
i wonder why they don't. and would rather make a cartoon duck for preschoolers be gay rather than aromantic. because god forbid we let kids know it's normal and ok to not have those feelings for anyone
@@kaiyodei its not wrong either way to have both.l.l
not my younger self over-obsessing about someone it chooses in it's class and calling it a crush just so life feels more interesting
I think I belong to the grey aromantic area, because I've had crushes in the past but i could NEVER imagine myself involving in a relationship with them, (I'm 25 btw) so I've never been in one. It's so weird for me when people get all lovey dovey with their partners on social media and irl because i just don't see the point. I value my friendships and family so much but even thinking about romantic relationships makes me want to throw up.
But there is also platonic crushes i think
Yeahhh a crush where you can't see yourself in a relationship with I think it's called a squish, and is platonic. I also had this same types of crushes but now I know they were not crushes and that I have never had a crush before.
thank you so much for making this video! i identify as ace aro, but i really love reading/watching/imagining romantic situations about other people, like shipping and watching romcoms and stuff. because of this some people have told me that im lying about being aro for attention. im definitely gonna share this video with them so they can see what being aromantic really is!
It’s always funny hearing people mistakenly tell you how your own sexuality works. I hope you don’t take their lack of knowledge too personally bc aros can DEFINITELY still enjoy romantic media! I enjoy John Wick, but I’m not going to become a trained killer, lol.
I'm ace aro too, and like that, but don't like all romance, sometimes I'm fully like you 😍 and sometimes I'm the stereotypical negative romantic aro 🤮 especially when if I try to imagine being in that situation (I tried this to confirm that I did not want one, AT ALL)
music2012pink yeah, for me it’s more like, reading about it happening to others is really cute to me, but if I imagine it happening to myself, I’m just like 🤢🤮
@@artxtr3431 I'm usually like that, but uselly only couples I like and real world couples. I usually avoid romantic movies etc unless I'm interested in the plot etc, not for the romance itself; unless I ship them like that.
music2012pink I’m actually the opposite haha! I prefer romance when the characters are all fictional, because irl relationships kinda weird me out.
I came out as ace 7 years ago, and lately have been wondering if I'm also aro. I dated another ace person last year (only person I've dated in the past 7 years) for a few months, and I definitely noticed that the person I was dating was much more romantically invested than I was, and despite both being ace, we had very different ideas of romance. I think maybe I was just squishing on them really hard. I know what it feels like to be in love. I was in love once like a decade ago, but aside from that one person, I don't think I've ever felt that kind of romantic attraction. The prospect of being single and sexless for the rest of my life seems pretty okay to me.
I'm aroace. I love seeing romance and even acting in romantic situations (like playing a character who has a giant crush). I think it's because it is like science to me, because i don't experience I feel nothing towards it so it's just interesting.
I love a good rom-com, but I don’t feel the same flutters IRL, so I think I can feel where you’re coming from! ☺️ Thanks for commenting.
It’s a little scary not knowing your own romantic orientation. I worry that I’ll get in a relationship one day only to realize I’m incapable of having romantic feelings.
I have a squish for that one person. We low-key platonically flirting and that's super nice.
And I spent a GREAT number of time in high school thinking about weird I am to never want a romantic relationship😭😭😭
Here to please the all-powerful algorithm with my comment sacrifice (great job, your videos really have an excellent visual aesthetic that takes them that extra step above and beyond the typical video essay).
I don't want to use my name you dick. Always happy to see your comments. ☺️ Thank you.
“*i’m not kidding”
WHEEZING
I've gotten married for convenience reasons. I always thought maybe my partners were lying or being over the top when they showed romantic gestures. I didn't understand how to respond because I didn't have the same feelings they did. I had just assumed everyone was faking it.
welcome to another episode of "am i arospec or do i just feel a disconnection from romance because of how heteronormative and allonormative it is presented in our society"
So real
Ugh, amatonormativity sucks.
For those who don't know what that is, it's the societal convention to rate romantic love over all other types of love, and assuming everyone wants and should want a romantic relationship above all else.
I always put friendships over romantic relationships. The way I saw it, romantic partners come and go, and friends are forever. But then I realise it's just me being aromantic, and not able to experience that kind of attraction, thus dismissing it altogether. Unfortunately, this isn't the deal with most people. Most people want that kind of romantic relationship, so making new friends and maintaining friendships gets more and more difficult.
All your videos have such great production value and you 100% deserve more viewers and subs. Keep it going!! 😁👍
JMEssex ahh, thank you so much! 💜
more ppl need to know about this, and implement it in shows more often.
Wow, I didnt know there was a word for how I felt. I thought that was just me being awkward and Antisocial.
nope :) I'm glad you're closer to finding out who you are.
Cake appears at 4:10. You're welcome.
I'm aro/ace and am in a QPR we plan to live together and want to raise a family. Things are always changing so we never know what the future will hold but so far it's been amazing and I love them alot
I am asexual aromantic evrytime I hear romantic things I feel like throwing up, but there's this show that I really like but it's more about compatibility I feel like I would love to have something like that but in real life evryones just about sex ,
THANK YOU FOR TALKING ABOUT AROMANTICS MOST PEOPLE DONT KNOW IT EVEN EXISTS
I like how a bunch of other aro’s thought “I need to have a crush, it’s normal!”
I just thought “Yeah, I’m not attracted to these people because they’re not good enough.”
Thanks so much for uploading this. I'm an ace but am still unsure boht where I am in the romantic scale of attraction. WTF has always seemed like the most apt one to explain my confusion 😅 I do like the idea of QPR though.
Thanks for making this world a nicer place for all of us by spreading info on topics like these :)))
aditya banerjee aww, all i want to do is make the world a nicer place for everyone. That means the world. Thank you. 🤍💚💜🖤
Edit: honestly, I think QPRs are underrated. They seems so nice.
@@hippiecalico You're most welcome :)) I love the videos you've put out so far and am extremely eager to see where it goes!
Re QPR, I agree, and I think it really should be something that should get representation in entertainment media, that would go a long way. Do you know of any examples in books, shows, movies etc?
Last year I discovered I am demiromantic and I've recently been feeling isolated. But watching your video reminded me that I'm valid and not broken so thank you so much for making this video💖💕
"Sex doesn't make us whole, so how could you ever be broken?" or whatever that line from Sex Education is.
I love this video and especially how near the end you explain it's just "Aromanticism 101" and there's so much more to learn.
tbh this makes Alastor even better
...the musician..??
Hazbin Hotel?
Thank you for making this! I’m ace/aro and it’s hard to explain myself in conversation. Now I can just show everyone this high quality video instead of trying to explain it (badly) You deserve way more subs!! If you upload every week, you should be able to get more subs (just a tip) thank you and good luck!
Thanks for the tip!! Once a week is my goal (but last weekend, took a break), so thanks for the extra motivation! ☺️💚 I hope these videos come in handy.
Hello! I just recently learned about these “animal rescue” channels that are fake and evil. I was wondering if you could make a video on it sometime to raise awareness about this topic. Here’s a link to a video about it: ruclips.net/video/KY25fv1RY5k/видео.html
Here’s another link:ruclips.net/video/AsgwrrY9_Tc/видео.html
There was this guy last year, when I was staying in Japan. We did a lot of great outings and I had great fun, but I was always worried that he would want to rush a relationship. I had a feeling it was on the table.
I really wanted to try, because while I am AroAce I do want to experience a relationship. But every time he came closer my body would just move away. I am usually really clingy with family and sometimes friends, but I didn't want to touch him.
So when the confession happened, I tried talking to him about me being AroAce. How I didn't feel what he was feeling, that it was too soon (we've known each other for about 5 weeks at this point).
But he just insisted on holding hands and trying it, but I felt pressured and refused.
Later he wrote me a message that he was drinking away his pain because of me and I was furious that he was gaslighting me. Nonetheless I tried to keep the friendship going but he went no contact.
I still felt bad about it. I have this fear everytime a guy wants to get closer to me.
I just think that, if you really cared for me and my presence, you wouldn't just run, when it's not that easy😔
I've never felt "anxious euphoria" just anxious. Is this a sign??
My partner came out to me last night about being aro.. I’ve been doing research and this video helped a lot. Thank you for making it
I’m so happy it could help! Best of luck. ❤️
I want to say thank you. The girl I was dating recently came out and told me she is aromantic; given her past experiences and her current feelings. We are still good friends and I think a video like this will help us as a starting point to learning about this topic.
Not aro but romance is overrated
Kudos to you guys
I'm an Aromantic, Bisexual :D
Same hat! :D
Thank you very much for this awesome video!
There are so many interesting nuances in this kind of topics. It really shows how common perceptions about relationships may be quite different from much more complicated and wonderful reality)
Xenia Kovaleva Aw, thank you for taking the time to leave your comment, friend. 💜
@@hippiecalico looking forward for your next videos! ( ◜‿◝ )♡
Finally a video that explains what romantic attraction is!
i just wish there's more aro representation in media😩
This is a great video that explains everything nicely, thanks for that! :) After you made the asexuality video I was hoping you’d one day make one about aromanticism, and I’m really glad you did.
Shineiy Kitty so glad I was able to follow through on that promise. 💚🤍 Thank you so much for sticking around!!
Being aroace is dope
It's like a super power
Great video!
+Sticksel Pixel gaming thanks so much! 😄
Wow, this is the best short introduction to aromanticism I've ever seen. Well done, and thanks!
Thank you, love! 🖤🤍
as an aromantic bisexual I love this video to hell explain to people who don't understand it properly!
peroanlly as an aromantic i experience zero romantic attraction but dont mind kisses and romantic actions i jjst dont desire them so I peroanally have and will be in relatio ships others would consider romantic but to me they just feel like an extension of friendship and I feel like the mention of queerplatinic relatio ships rlly helps with people understanding that more!
WOhoooo new video!!
Betwithers 😄
thank you for this video! i really enjoy listening to your calm voice and i'm really impressed by the quality. also i'm aromantic pansexual and it's so nice when i can feel your support from tone you're using in here. you got subscription and like from me! 💚
(sorry for my english)
[edit: turns out that i'm aromantic greyasexual haha]
Im both and rather than dislike romance, I ABSOLUTELY HATE IT
Your videos are very eloquent and well written. You explain things very clearly and concisely in ways that are easy to understand. Excellent work
Shoulderpads-mcgee Aw, thank you for visiting and for your kind words!
wait, do people ACTUALLY want to date their crushes?? having crushes and be fine with not engaging in anything with them isn't actually a thing between allos?
this video is great!! Covers everything in an organised clear way! yes!
Thank you. It's well done and it's good to have a whole video about aromantism. 💚
I'm aroace and this is the best explanation of my orientation I have seen so far. I might use this video to explain it to others.
People expecting me to be with someone makes me wanna Barf and scream
I lost a friend of mine earlier this year because I reached them months later asking to be friends again, they assumed I liked them romanticly but all I wanted was a platonic relationship with them. I kept telling them I'm not interested in a relatiyons not because that I didn't like them as a person but I just didn't feel a romantic attraction towards them.
im not aro but I get squishes a lot and holy fuck a qpr sounds highkey dope
I'm aro demi-pan, meaning I'm aromantic and pansexual but or a level which is considered around demi. I might could just use grey, but people keep being confused about it so I use what fits most. Mixing this mess with a high libido (literally non stop, besides while on period due to dyphoria, without taking the pill) I'm a mess who has no idea what to do most of the time.
My sexual attractions usually forms within what people call squish I guess. Most of the times it takes month or even a year that I might get sexually interested into someone. If it happens I usually already have a great friendship with that person. Which I don't want to shatter with asking if they might would like to add a plus on the friendship.
I don't have the desire for romantic relationships. I don't feel anything like that and don't want one. Instead I seek those deep bonds of friendship.
Though I still kind of suffer due to wanting sexual acts with others. The situation is kind of bizarre, people tell me to just have one night stands but this is something which I definitely don't want.
So I'm vibing my aro demi-pan wave and see if I might find a cluster of people where I get in.
Oh and I love romance in media! Not kissing because I dislike the concept of licking the inside of the mouth of another person and tasting their just chewd food. But in general I love it. It's like looking at a cute animal and thinking how adorable it is.
I also love looking at friends being in happy relationships and feel nothing but compersion even IF I have some sort of own interest.
This is also a pretty fabulous video. Came here from the asexual essay, which is a topic I'm already pretty familiar with.
I actually wasn't aware of the term "squish" before. That's quite an eye-opener!
It took me so long to realize this about myself because I always wanted to be in a relationship with someone, but I just find it impossible to like people in that way. I should have realized it years ago when I was forcing myself to have a crush on this guy just because I wanted a relationship :/
Nice video ^^ now I know what to call my friendship crushes haha :3
Bex yes! I won’t crush you, just squish you. 😜
Thankyou so much for these videos, I’m still trying to figure things out my self, and as someone who doesn’t actively seek out romantic partnership it’s been hard to really figure out what my own alignment is. That being said, Thankyou!
I do fall in love but whenever i had been in the relationship i just ended up forgetting i was in it. I enjoyed the feeling of love but not the actually actions and rules that came with it.
Yeah i did love you in that way once, but those left as fast as they came.
i went trough such a dificult time when I realised that i am aro (altought,i am still questioning because im 19,that is still very young age), and it is so exhausting and frustrating when people dont understand,or tying to "fix" me,etc,and especialy frustrating thing happened when I told m gf (now ex) and she literally attacked me and was mad at me because i am aro......
your voice is awesome :) very well made video!
I'm bisexual and possibly aromantic
Ahhhhhhh!!!!!! I'm an asexual aromatic, and I freaking love how you explained this!!!!! It was very informative, even if I'm already aromatic myself. I found it especially nice at the part where you talked about different types of romantic attractions, and how great of a way you explained them. It was very interesting, even for an ace aro myself, to get stuff told in a different perspective. 💚🖤💚🖤
Just wondering, have u guys ever heard a friend crush called a ‘squish’ before?
Yes! I’ve experienced squishes myself, and I’m convinced almost everyone feels them at some point. Some people are just so damn cool, you just wanna be in their realm. ❤️
So I really like a person who is Aromantic and we are close but its very confusing
thanks for your great videos.
keep up the good work.
its super interesting to learn new things and to hear about perspectives i've never really thought about.
Aw, thank you, that means so much, and it means a lot knowing others want to hear about other people's perspectives. :)
I don't think the romantic type of love is special. And I am started to think that the romantic type of love isn't real. I mean about more than half of romantic couples either break up with each other or divorce each other, while most platonic best friends remain friends until death.
Also, most people are pretty much comfortable enough to be naked around someone and have sex with someone that they have no romantic feelings towards. So sex isn't really a thing about romance.
I think that having a platonic best friend is a lot better than having a romantic partner or spouse is. Having someone who's like a sibling to you is a lot better than having a romantic partner is. Also, you would more likely be much closer to a person who's like a brother or sister to you than you would be with a partner or spouse.
People tend to fight with their partner or spouse a lot more than they do with a platonic best friend, and you never fight with your best friend the way you fight with your partner or spouse. Partners and spouses are just temporary. If you break up or divorce them, it's hard to go back to them. With your platonic best friend, you're going to make things work, because they are your best friend, they are your go to partner. It's always easier to make amends with them than it is with a romantic partner or spouse.
Also, there are a lot of toxic romantic relationships, while there isn't that many toxic platonic relationships. Like an example is that abuse happens a lot in romantic relationships, while abuse is rare in platonic relationships. So there is a lot of abusive romantic relationships, while there is isn't that many abusive platonic relationships.
Why do you think abusive romantic relationships have a term for them called "domestic violence", while abusive platonic relationships don't have a term for them? It's because abuse in platonic relationships are very rare, while abuse in romantic relationships happens a lot.
And also, a lot of people cheat on their romantic partners with someone else, while most people won't do stuff like that with their platonic best friends.
Also, I heard that most people can live a life without romance and can still be happy. But most of the time, if someone doesn't have any platonic friends in their life, it can effect them really bad mentally; much worse than living a life without a romantic partner. In today's world, less people are dating and getting married now, and they seem to be more happy being single rather than being in romantic relationship with someone.
Also, you're going to have a much deeper spoken understanding and connection with your best friend than you are with a romantic partner or spouse.
So those are other reasons why romantic love isn't real or special, while platonic love is.
THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR MAKING AN ARO VIDEO!!!!!!
I’m a ace aro and this makes me feel valid af 😭
Ah thanks I was wondering and I genuinely still don't know... But I might be Grayromantic... Or Idk... I feel love towards someone but I've never had the interest in a relationship so its really weird because its like: "Yeah I love u too, but no thanks."
I think I've found my category. For all my life I've heard all this talk about how some day I'll fall in love, be swept up off my feet, and all that other horseshit that's never happened. I personally think all this talk of romantic love is a placebo effect, because if you experience it, then it's because you expected to. No one has ever really been able to describe it clearly, which reinforces my idea of it being a placebo effect. I've heard about you being head over heels in love. Well right now I'm head over heels because I'm in a sitting position, what's so unusual about that? I don't get this romantic love myth and probably never will.
hahha I love your description! I never got this either, and because I had no idea what romantic attraction is, I couldn't really identify as aromantic. But it seems like people do experience some types of feelings towards a person they find romantically attractive.
Is it wrong that I don't consider myself Aromantic, but I do consider myself Lithromantic? I know it's a subset, but I don't find that the definition of Aro describes me.
Thanks
salad caesar ☺️
What does romantic love feel like? When I feel love inside of my body, it's a warm and relaxed feeling. Sometimes it heats up the cheeks. This is the way I feel normal love, but I'm not sure about romantic love
thank you for this video! I as an aro I feel included; now I still have to understand if I'm asexual lol
I don't know if I'm suppressing my romantic interests (cause male and gay) or I'm just aro. I'm kinda sad abt the fact I will never be able to relate to my friends. I've never met another aro person in my life.
If you (an allo person) operates off of the assumption that intimacy = romance, then sex for fun with someone you care about and says they care about you may look transactional. As if they put the intimacy coins in the vending machine and got the sex cola outta the bin at the bottom.
You can do that, I guess, maybe even without knowing it due to believing you both experience love and intimacy the same way.
But what may feel like a betrayal to an allo person may feel like "they're crazy" to an aro person.
I've experienced this myself and you can see it take place with non-self aware possibly aro people who probably gave rise to the "virgins are crazy Wedding Crashers joke/trope".
My story: I negotiated a FWB situation after realizing I didn't want to be mono with someone I was talking to and hadn't formally dated yet. He constructed an entire false narrative of a relationship in his head and got very passive aggressive and toxic. Had to cut him off completely in the end due to how mean he got. Super possessive, super passive aggressive, super sad/hurt and convinced we had a relationship that I never knew about.
We had engaged in a dynamic for a while, some play, some sexual interactions, words of endearment/intimacy, and got to be better friends. To me it was a largely sexual relationship with someone who I considered a friend and potential partner. Intially it was mono, when I realized I didn't want that I clearly communicated it and we renegotiated terms. I assumed it was fine but he made it weird and became progressively more toxic, controlling and abusive. In the end he described me as "someone who he introduced to his friends as someone he intended to date". This was news to me. We had never disclosed that to his friends, or so I thought.
You can probably see from my perspective and every person like me how insane that looks from an outside perspective.
Communicate with your partners honestly and be an adult. It'll save everyone a lot of trouble.
For so long I have been wondering what could be wrong with me. I never experienced romantic feelings for someone, but I remember having a squish to a boy I was friends with in middle school, but now that I think about it, it could be that I was just confusing it for friendship. I also had a boyfriend in 10th in high school, but because he asked me out and he was hugging me... I felt trapped to say yes, but I broke up with him about a week later because it didnt feel right... then I thought I had another squish to one of my best friends again, but I didnt really feel it, I just thought I did because my female best friend would say that he and I would look cute together, but i feel again it was just friendship for him again as he was my best friend... and theres this boy who took me to prom who could have a crush on me, but I dont return any feelings like that besides a friend... I'm 19 now and I am still confused to everything of why i cant be "normal" in liking someone! But at least thanks to this video I at least can feel more clear of why it doesnt happen...
the one where you can't feel but want to feel and want a relaitonship. is that cupio ?
I kinda blamed Disney Channel and Nickelodeon for my intense desire to have a solid friendship with one person, an unbreakable platonic bond that stands the test of time, because pretty much every show I grew up watching had a duo of protagonists who were best friends, an unstoppable team. I could never manage to make friendships last, so I’m thinking gray-romantic kinda fits me better than the general aromantic
🤣
I'm really sorry to hear that. But let me tell you, years mean nothing. Last year I ended a 25 years of friendship, and before that I also ended 22 years of friendship. The longer you are friends with someone, the more you put up with their crap. And if you weren't friends for that long, you wouldn't think twice about cutting the person off. Think about it as quality over it being long term.
@@dawnriddler most of the friendships I’ve had barely last a year
@@v.v365 why do you think that is?
@@dawnriddler my poor social skills and my own failure to communicate or keep up enthusiasm for the relationships I could’ve forged with those individuals?
I guess I’m gray romantic bc I can get romantic feelings but I have no desire to have them or a relationship or romantic love. And yes I have been in love but it’s not a necessity for me. These days I’m not anti love but I’m good on I’m. this was so confusing but also enlightening. So much to research.
Here is a quick question, are crushes romantic in nature? I've fantasized about people sexually (without any romantic attraction.) I've called them crushes for a while now, because Idk what a crush that is only sexual in nature is called. Or maybe they aren't only romantic in nature and I was wrong the whole time.
They can be both
Thanks this was quite helpful.
As a kid, I had no crushes but I came out as asex years later.
I've identified as an asexual for awhile. I was curious if I was somewhat aromantic.
I think I'm in the grey-area because I'm stuck in between wanting a romantic relationship and literally not having a single crushー I have a squish though :
This video is really beautiful!
Why would they use the term "lover"? It's such a romantic term of endearment. Zucchini or partner sounds more universal
+Luna yeah, probably pretty unlikely haha.
Omg this is so me. Thank you.
What do you call it when you're attracted to a males physical appearance and want their attention (cuddle and hang out)
But don't want to get physically intimate with them? Like,no touching kind of thing
Cuddling and appearance sounds like sensual and aesthetic attraction. Doesn't have to mean sexual or romantic attraction.
I am an aromantic and i feel no shame in it :)
I’m not sure if I am aromantic because I’ve never had any interest in romance. I know that I am demisexual, but I’m still not sure where I would fall on the aromantic spectrum because I don’t really have any interest in pursuing romance.
I’ve only had one crush.
Im so confused right now to what I just don’t know I am only 15 Idk