The wives abandoned by British Asian men - BBC News
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- Опубликовано: 25 сен 2016
- Wives in South Asia are being used and abandoned by the British Asian men that marry them. There are calls for this to be recognised as a form of domestic violence. "Sunita" tells Catrin Nye, reporting for the Victoria Derbyshire programme, that her life was "ruined" after she was abandoned.
Shot by: Richard Kenny and Ben Lister
Edited by: Ben Lister
Produced by: Catrin Nye and Divya Talwar
The Victoria Derbyshire programme is broadcast on weekdays between 09:00 and 11:00 on BBC Two and the BBC News channel.
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Invest in your daughter's education so that she can be financially independent before being married off
eruditeban thats a great comment just got to get dads all atound the world to get their daughters educated before marriage
The poor cannot afford higher education
Look at Sunder Pichai, CEO OF Google. He stayed true to his word. Even when he was rich
Muhammed K perhaps but the implication is to invest in your children equally regardless of gender, an educated woman can potentially make just as much ( at least in my country and countries that have plenty of women in the work force ) because in all honesty if the worst were to happen a terrible accident perhaps and she were left to fend for herself, she could!!!! because the world is me in perfect place in bad things happen!!!!
And after the marriage his husband will force her to quit the job.
It's better to educate daughters, than to pay dowry and be dependent on husband financially.
How wonderful If only all indians think like you sir!
@Rolli Nia No it's not true as per constitution of India they have equal rights but due to illiteracy they don't know their rights and even if they know it they don't want to use it, but another aspect is some educated ones are misusing it.
👏👏👏👏
Well said..! 🥂
Well india is in Asia?
The title should be corrected to be “ Indian women abandoned by British Indian men “
Angel2019 Sunny, exactly.
Vivian Lee uh if the problem is with British Indian only, then it should be Indian, not Asian.
@@OpiumBride nope, asian is too large to be generalized.
@@OpiumBride people mostly imagine East Asian when they heard Asia.
The title is fine because this the trend not only in India, but also in Bangladesh and Pakistan all of which are in Asia.
They say they go to the UK for higher education but even after getting the higher education, their mentality remains cheap and third class.
Excellent point
Definitely low calibre men
Don't marry someone who demands for dowry. And report to the police. They're suppose to get penalty. It's the law
True
Ops! Very true!
This Indian tradition of the wife paying dowry to the man is insane
I mean devaluing women is a global tradition.
Wanjiku Mwangi yes its an awful tradition in india
Wanjiku Mwangi true
And Kenyan men paying dowry for women is not insane?
@@DamarisMugawhat a stupid question
Expose those men. Expose those mothers-in-law. Why protect their identities?
Aryann Gourcuff this
cannot be exposed because innocent until proven guilty (not by BBC) but by the law..
Let me guess, Twitter user?
Because they will have to be the ones that go home and face them
The mother in laws are even more evil. How do you let your son do that to someone else’s daughter it’s despicable.
In most cultures, a husband gives money or expensive gifts to his wife's family as a cost for taking her away from her family. It's strange it's the other way around in India.
Perfect Students: Both situations don't make any sense...you don't see that in the western world...it's not in "most cultures"...culture evolves...that is wrong and must change/end...
Smart.Robot not everything revolves around western culture and not everyone wants to live like western people and I’m saying that as a person from the west
@@user-sw5hy6ox6l You're not from the west because if you were you wouldn't talk that way...like everything in life, not everything is perfect in western countries...but they sure have the "system" that allows you to live as you want unlike in middle/far eastern countries...
@@SmartRobot-wc2fb in Islam the man gives the wife money (mahr) so if they get a divorce or if he dies she is financially stable. This is security for her as traditionally women don't work. Theres also no stigma in the religion against marrying divorcees and widows who aren't virgins of course this varies by cultures
Smart.Robot Funny how there are many expats from the west that go to Middle Eastern countries though. Laws in Middle Eastern countries allow you to live life as you want lmao, unless you decide one day that you want to become a thief, rapist, murderer, etc, then you’ve got another thing coming for you.
The dowry should be invested in daughter's account instead of giving it to the groom..
Yup, that’s what Islam does. Makes much more sense.
We need to stop thinking that a girl is damaged goods post sexual relationship
YES. WE DONT THINK THAT FOR MEN, MEN ND WOMEN ARE EQUAL.
Go to India and talk to lots of people. I found most I talked to were quite incredulous at our sexual norms in the UK. The idea that a person might have a number of such relationships before marriage created a look of virtual disbelief. To suggest dozens or more reflected one was lying.
And the caste system was very clear who could not marry who.
So we are evaluating a complicated and ingrained culture quite different from our own. Each has merits and drawbacks.
@Mohammad Akbar it sure is a subject for thought. And even where promiscuity is accepted many do not indulge. And in cultures where it is not, who really knows what goes on?
There are many changes, twists and turns in the history of this subject.
I know! That's something that needs to change in India and many other parts of the world.
I use to think an arranged marriage was good for stability but have opened my eyes to how exploititative it can be for predominantly women.
That's bcoz she actually is damaged goods.!
stop paying men to take your daughters ... your daughters are valuable , priceless... if a man is demanding he get paid to marry your daughter, he is not worthy of her. Use that money to educate your daughters. Encourage them to be intellectuals and independent. It's appalling that you don't see the value of your own daughters, mothers, sisters. The stigma is he left her ?? These people were hurting your daughter!!! He shouldn't have had the chance to leave her, she should have left him ! With all the support of community and family. Disgraceful.
Totally agree.
How very sad that this situation which is perpetual by nature yet no one learns a lesson ! One example ought to be a lesson for the entire family and the whole village.
In a world where women stay home and men are the breadwinners, paying a dowry to the groom is ridiculous.
Well said Trisha
trisha tate great comment!
Isn't the root of the problem Indian cultural standards? Why is a woman damaged goods if she's not a virgin? Why do you need to pay a dowry? Why do families pressure marriage? If they just let people marry the ones they love, there will be less abandonment. In the west women get abandoned too, but at least they have options and more independence so they can still pursue a happy existence.
As a British North Indian man I’d say these are old backward traditions that value a man over woman.
@Kindsey that's within your community, it seems culture follows you no matter where you reside.
Well said 💗
People pay dowry to book husband.
Pagan practices 🤦🏽♀️
My ex left me after moving to Europe. But im not sad. I have education and good job. I dont even give a shit. Im happy in My new life. Alone, but happy. He was so abusive.
That’s awful, yes I say good riddance, you’re so much better without them as you sound to have a great life. I hope one day the world is more equal so that everyone is more free and laws work across borders. Imagine a mother or father not being able to see their child because the other person has run away to a country where the other parent can’t legally go, it’s ridiculous in my view.
keep on moving your a star, one of my friends was abandoned by an Indian man she even has a child its very sad but even she is doing well.
I'm so happy you are rid of him.
I hope life is still good for, I wish you well from new zealand
Very happy you have a good new life. Be happy.
Horrible things some men do to women. Its funny that women like them encourage their son's to commit such horrible crimes. How can a mother in-law support such nonsense. The day women come to truly love one another crimes such as this will die a natural death.
#GirlLove
Onyinye Agbah I couldn't agree more. Mother's let their sons get away with treating them like shit and it becomes a habit. Women in my country just need to stop babying their men and set them straight.
boeiggocreeper in some cases, of course. but men are not denied their freedom and basic human dignity as much as women are in India. They are undeniably the privileged sex. you have to be a male chauvinist to not see it.
boeiggocreeper yes bad apples are every where. I hadn't read the entire discussion. I thought you were speaking about the video.
City Skyline seriously. you seem like the insecure one here.
Dowry is illegal, I repeat dowry is illegal in India. Stop paying dowry to groom family. Both are at fault. Follow the law and everything will be fine.
Doesn't matter, in these families they still see daughters as less worthy than men. If her marriage gets broken off bc they grooms family wants dowry, it's a shameful thing. So they go through with it
@Ankit oh my god. U r an open supporter of dowry system. Earn ur own money stupid. Don't expect from ur partner u greedy mongrel.
@truth seeker that is a minority. Ofc there are abusers of the law, usually spoilt girls who the parents never disciplined or the parents only make the girl do shit like that. But a LARGE portion of India's population is still more rural, where girls don't even know about their rights and the laws and they are exploited still based on gender.
Dowry is NOT illegal in India. forcing for dowry is illegal and only if they are taken to the court. fighting dowry cases or any other cases in India is a years long process if not decades in a lot of cases they will spend their whole lives fighting in the court without any outcome thats why most Indians will avoid this lengthy and extremely expensive process. rarely anyone ever gets punished. that's why the govt made women cells but some women started misusing it to get their spouses/spouse's families arrested or harass them and that became a different kind of pandemic where even some innocent mens lives got ruined. the only thing the govt can do right now is start social awareness campaigns at massive scales to educate the general public against this evil
@Roopjeet Kaur forcing for dowry is illegal and that too only if the girl's family files a complaint and has the guts and energy to persue the case and strong enough to endure all the abuse inside police stations and courts
I am Male from UK, suggest culprits should be named and shamed by the Home Office.
In Indian parents forced men to get married most men and women dont marry partner of there choice
@@srigorakhnath1297 Do not need free education, if cannot take stand?
@@srigorakhnath1297 most? I didn’t think it was that common still.
In Vietnam, the men are to pay a dowry to the brides family.
@@User2345astdidbud Abusive cause its some people cant afford it
@Lexine Bate why?
@Lexine Bate It's not in my culture for girls to pay dowry so I won't talk about that. But men paying dowry(money and some other special items)is a way of saying thank you for raising this daughter. I agree some families sell their daughter off bc the bride price is alot of money but it shouldn't be so.
@Lexine Bate I disagree the girls family would probably expect the man to give a more expensive gift. Yk to prove he is the"man". Like capable.
It's the same in Africa. Dowry is given by the man to the woman's family.
They need to end the dowry system...use that money to educate your child so she is not used, abused and abandoned.
Pink Acid you might not know Dowry is a punishable offence under the Indian Penal Code(IPC) but still it goes on somehow.
But here half of the population doesn't understand this....
nope, their educators take bribes up the asss.
Conservatism is a weed to human growth.
It's not as easy, I wish you could understand.
stop pressuring women too get married
Eva Simpson and stop pressuring men to get married too
Sam Shah true, but more the women
They pressurize especially because the girl at home is a financial burden for the family (mostly can't work and they have expenses)and the marriage rules in Asia are very strict too :at 25 life finishes, if you don't marry by then you are considered old, second choice .Also finding right proposals is not easy, takes years usually.
I agree. Women have been treated second best to men for a long time. Women's rights still aren't even close to men's rights. It's a major problem.
I feel so sorry for people who are genuine to their spouses and thrown away.
There are millions of them..
I'm so thankful to be born in a family that encourages woman education as much as male and dispite our financial consequences my entire family has always supported me to be independent and explorative... I have 4 brothers and never in a single moment I felt they were treated different than me.
You are so lucky
in most cases its the Asian parents fault for emotionally blackmailing their sons and daughters to marry from Asia, when they have nothing what so ever in common, and are like from two different planets, and parents of the girl don't care who and what the man is as long as he is from a foreign country, so both are to blame. but regardless its tough being used and deserted.
Zareena Choudary a
yes, in few cases... but in most cases its because of the dowry money
Zareena Choudary
Zareena Choudary
Zareena Choudary
So disgraceful. Why don't those men just get a normal girlfriend or if they just want sex, they should pay a whore and leave innocent women alone. The deception is unnecessary and cruel.
if they do that they don't get dowry money. horrible, i know
Confuzzled Tomato They want get money not waisting painful.They are not enough men to earn by themselves and provide for their wives
Rusean They are doing this for the dowry. The are lowlife thieves. They deserve jail time.
Rusean it s not for sex it s only for money. Sometimes even the first wife kow that. The entire family is in the conspiracy and jusymt for money sad. How can you use another human being for money. They are perverts ppls and they ll never change.
Rusean It's the culture and caste system.
I find it so ridiculous to pay a man to married a woman in India 💁
Not in all parts of India.
In India girls marry rich men only poor men struggle to get married
*Women only marry high-value men...who are Taller, Richer, Smarter, stronger, than them.* Even the whole family's wealth and jobs of man's father, brother is taken into account by bride side before fixing the marriage.
Not just India, African countries also carry the tradition of dowry.
@@Idkdude50 that’s usually in rural African countries lol that never happens in South Africa and Nigeria etc
These men.... Sigh
I see you everywhere leh
Hi
@@x6621 😂😂😂
You're everywhere bro 😂
Hi i see you everywhere hahahahaha
Dont marry someome who demands dowry, its as simple as that.
Their r desperately want to leave punjab ....nothing new ...their r willing to...blindly their married their daughters to unknown men
Marrying without dowry is still a rare thing in rural parts and even some urban cities of India
@Ayan D A They should consider marrying outside their culture. Consider all men who are only Good and who is Kind. And, well-educated and financially stable. A guy who makes your heart smile, daily. He should Love, Honor, and Respect you. Just because you had sex doesn't mean you're damaged goods. It just means you are in the wrong culture. Choose well!
You're all simplifying this far too much. The cast system and the way women are devalued in that society makes it impossible for them to help themselves. There needs to be laws and consequences for these people who abuse and manipulate women.
@Ayan D A The men left them so they will still get old and nobody wants them. It's stupid that they paid and they're now in a worse situation than when they were single.
The title should be "the wives abandoned by British INDIAN men"
JC Cosip+ India's in Asia.
Will Scarlett it is but the title is too broad.
JC Cosip+ Yes, but when British Asians are mentioned, it's common knowledge that the reference is to Indians, Pakistanis, Bengalis etc...
Will Scarlett well its not common knowledge outside of the UK or wherever youre from.
JC Cosip+ This documentary is really geared towards British viewers. That's the reason why 'Asians' are mentioned because they'll know who the term is referring to.
While in my country Nigeria (and most parts of Africa) men pay heavy bride price to marry a woman.
Like buying the woman 😂
These type of culture ( men pay or women pay for marriage) should stop
Roshniii Chanu Naorem no it’s not ‘buying the woman’, in islam anyway, I’m not sure about culture wise, men pay a dowry to the female, which both agree to (price wise), for taking the woman away from the family, if the husband were to die suddenly, the female has money where she can still support herself and the children if they have any. It also stops the man from feeling inclined to cheat on her, which when you hear so many stories about men living double lives and cheating on their partners, makes sense. I’m not saying that it’s just men that do this, some women do too don’t get me wrong, however you can’t deny, the number is definitely higher for men, etc.
@@roshniiichanunaorem3057 No it's for the woman to keep to do as she wishes. Sometimes it's thousands of dollars or property. It's a financial cushion for her in case her husband dies or in case of divorce.
Some cultures in Nigeria not all. Remember there are over 250 ethnic groups in Nigeria.
Dowry whether from girls or boys side is wrong. Just because men pay doesn't mean it is any less pressure. What if a poor guy falls in love with a girl and can't pay dowry?
I was abandoned by my husband who is a UK Citizen. Born in Belgium, raised in London. An actual White guy not Indian settled in London. I am a victim of physical, mental and verbal abuse. It all started after we got married. He took me to London and that's where the beating started. I came back to India only on the pretext that he would introspect and come back to his senses, take time out to think and come and get me. But that never happened. I never heard from him ever since. There isn't a door i didn't knock. No court I didn't go to. No police i didn't seek help. No immigration. No Government. Nobody helped me. He didn't even respond to my emails about filing for a divorce. After 4 years the court granted me a divorce on the basis of X party. That is husband is abscounding, don't know if he's dead or alive. So divorce on the grounds of anonymity. I'm rebuilding my life slowly right now but the wounds still didn't heal.
that's very heartbreaking. you're a strong and intelligent woman. i wish you a wonderful life after all these storms.
arifa sherina Thank you soo much
You are so much better off without him 💗💗💗
Bobbie Collins :) thanks love
Sorry about that. Make sure you get help for your mental health. If you are in UK Mind charity helps if you book an appointment with them. I don't know what you plan for your future but sometimes things happen to us to make us stronger. Join meetup groups online with your interests. Hopefully you can be successful in other aspects of your life and free yourself from the past. Big hugs and love to you ❤️
I am a British citizen and was coerced into a marriage to my cousin in Pakistan. He seemed nice enough so I gave him a chance, I worked 3 jobs to sponsor him and was under the impression that he will be here under my 'sponsor' for his conditional 2.5 years.
He pretty much changed as soon as he stepped foot in the country, he also had to hand an 'immigration specialist' who as well as his family taught him that if you get your wife pregnant and then leave just as the baby is about to be born - no one can kick you out of the country. Lo and behold, he left me as baby was 2 months and didn't look back. Home Office cancelled his visa and he then 'conveniently' remembered about his child.
Now he has applied to the Family courts for access knowing that Family courts almost ALWAYS grant access to the child meaning he can secure further leave to remain. I feel let down by both the Home Office and Family Courts. It seems that the common saying 'just step foot in the UK - legally or illegally and no one can chuck you out' is completely true and real. The rest of us who go down the proper 'visa routes' suffer the consequences.
Tahreem Q dame with the USA. ..step foot on the soil and its a public relations nightmare! Women have what we call anchor babies...come here when they are heavily pregnant on "vacation" or illegally enter the country and give birth. Their child is now a citizen,so they may remain to raise the child. Forien men also do to women what has been done to you! Im sorry you went through this, you seem like a nice person.
Totalchaos1983 aww thank you. Yes, I have heard the term 'anchor child'. If only the Family courts would realise this reality
Trying to get a divorce via Sharia Council now. Please like this comment so BBC can have a look at it as I would like them to cover my journey as I try to seek a divorce through the Islamic Council.
You had a baby with your cousin?He changed as soon as he arrived to UK and you still went on and had a child with your cousin?And now you think home office let you down?You’ve let yourself down.I feel bad for that kid.
Aleksandra Warner90 I think you have mis-understood. I have only one child. I couldn't very well terminate a pregnancy just because my husband no longer needed me. That's more un ethical. I have seperated from him since and bring up my child by myself in a loving caring home.
I blame the parents also for making demands of their son's / daughter's to marry someone without knowing them shame shame..
That's the problem with Arranged marriages...you never know what you might get.
Hahahhaha and when their kid flirts with someone they just met at a party, they'll shout at you and say "You hardly know him/her!!"
Dhanhyaa Mahen u don't know him but they do lol that is why they picked him for you.
Vannuge Jiiko Last year I met a couple in America whose daughters actually asked their parents to find husbands for them. One of their parents was a doctor. Some of them are professionals and they take this very seriously. I wouldn't want that for myself but you would be surprised what some people think they want.
EU and India and other asian countries has to have sort of mutual registre,to punish and make these men pay amendment,or even to be sent back without the right to return to any western country.
I dont have a daughter unfortunately but I cant think of anything worse than having to pay someone to marry my daughter . Dowry custom MUST be stopped
This dowry abuse is also happening in Australia and Canada.
Canada is an immigration centre of Punjabis...therfore It is the indian culture there....
@@debasishmajumder745 We still need to realize that it is a global problem, despite which culture enforces it.
@@naryainc certain cultures have dowry, others don't. It's very important to pinpoint the culture in order to solve its problems. E.g dowry is a huge issue in Northern & central India. Eastern & Southern India doesn't have a burning 'dowry issue'. In the subcontinent it's present in pakistan & Bangladesh as well. So wherever these people go, no matter how rich & educated they are, the greed for dowry doesn't leave them
@@adflix424 Mmm, I understand what you mean and I appreciate your knowledge about the specifics of these cultures.
However, it is pretty universal how both men and women can be exploited as resources, men for warfare and work, women for reproduction and sex. And dowry is a very specific form of how women are exploited and subjugated (often by men). But other cultures have different forms of exploiting women the same way, but it can be less severe when men and women are equal before the law.
I know it's going to seem silly in comparison, but the a father "giving away" the bride at weddings, or the bf asking for the father's permission to marry his daughter, or the norm that women take their husband's last name, are all cultural norms that view women as the property of a man, to be traded, sold or given away. So it is a universal problem as well. Do you see what I mean?
@@debasishmajumder745 Dowry was a European culture, just saying. The French literally gave British 'Bombay' as a dowry.
They treat women like nothing, they take advantage of their desperation to get out of India and this man abandoned them, they should be punished..
It win win for both if the marry work ...if not work than woman is victims....simple as that
alaska Madelin123 : It happens in other cultures that do not practice the dowry system - they use the other as a passport to a better life. Then once overseas, they abandon the spouse who took them out of their poverty.
and what about the woman using that man as a flight ticket?
It's not "desperation" but "Greed" to get out of India.
Instead of paying a man to marry them, they should of used the money to invest in the women education or start up their own business. Doesn't matter if you are a man or a woman, in the end the one who make the most MONEY MAKE THE RULE.
On a side note why is it titled "The wives abandoned by British Asian men" should be titled Indian men instead.
Yuejiang Chen truea
India, still living in the past since 1899
India and Pakistan men. I have a friend who recently married someone of Pakistan descent in Britain but he has a wife in Pakistan, still. They are not divorced, as apparently that would shame her, and his parents would never approve of him marrying someone White and non-Muslim. He had an arranged marriage even though he came when he was 18, 19 to England. What I don't understand is why my friend accepted this and "married" him! And his parents don't know he "remarried".
they feel that those who never got married not succeed in life. .
well said Chen
This is plain evil....oh women! What we go through and endure....
calm your titties. you don't have to play the victim on behalf of the women in the video.
They did not love them. Love is a rare element arguably rarer than gold.
U mean true love, if u just say love then it's easy to find. Plastic love everywhere, even 2 ppl just met can say they love each other
They should say British Indian men and not Asian men.
no, in the UK only indians, pakistanis and other South Asian ppl are considered "Asians". Not chinese people. This is filmed in the UK, which is why they used "Asian" to refer to Indians.
but in the US, it's the opposite. They only call chinese, koreans, japanese etc as "Asian".
@@qeawte2243 the British are closer to India and Pakistan because of history
SOUTH Asians
@Old Girl
This video is all about Indian culture.... nothing related with the rest of other Asian countries
@Old Girl When was the last time Russians were called Asians? Technically they are asians by definition/geography. The media doesn't call them Asians even though they are because they are white and look nothing like other Asians. Also...Middle East/Indians look NOTHING like typical Asians (Chinese/Korean/japanese/Vietnamese). Typical asians can trace all their ancestry to China. White people got lazy and just lump the entire Middle East under Asian.
Your analogy is terrible btw.
I don't understand why the culture in India requires the wife's family to give a dowry, many other cultures like China require the husband's family to give a dowry because essentially you are giving your daughter to them, their children will go by the husband's family's name. It makes more sense for the dowry to go to the wife's family.
In India, in ancient times dowry was given as a gift. It was parents wish and their love for their daughter. It was not mandatory. But slowly this dowry system was forced on girls parents. We have law that dowry in any form is illegal. It should not be taken nor given. But laws are not getting implemented properly nor society wants to change its rotten customs. I hate dowry whether the women's side is giving or men's side. It seems people don't have self respect.
What are you talking about You guys Looove India and those backward Desi guys of RURAL Areas of Arabs, East Africa, Pakistan, Bangladesh and India ,Why so double standard, now ?
Babar Ahmad Khan
why the hell are you copying and pasting the same comment over and over again?? It didn't make any sense the first time, certainly won't make sense the second time, lol
So during earlier times there were land possessed by families. When a girl was married she was given some necessary things that she might need in her new home. This was because she wasn’t given the property. So now a days ppl blindly follow this practice which they say is a tradition. I don’t know why people don’t grow up and change according to times. They follow same old meaningless practices in the name of tradition.
In this case this is a Hindu tradition in Islam for example the man pays the woman
This is what happens when money is offered to marry someone.
Ugh this has taught me never to get into a relationship
You mean marriage?
What the husbands and wives do in abandoning their partners is really bad but how the society treats the victims is far worse making them second class citizens with limited opportunities is really horible. That culture is demeaning. No one should pay bride or groom price.
I'm from South Asia (Pakistan) and I would hate it if someone did that to my family. How dare they! Thats horrible :(
Stewie Griffin Pakistani ppl have much respectable culture.
Gay India
are you telling these not happening in Pakistan? Are you kidding me?
No one like this happening to their family. question is, are there people who see daughter in law as enemy ? Pakistan/India has such people.
Kishore Venkata I wasn't saying these things don't happen in Pakistan...
le tiggo It happens
These people are SICK....how are you damaged goods if you have sex with your husband or physically abused by someone your family shipped you off to unaware😳
Is crazy when you fall in love with someone thinking you will spend the rest of your life with them and they just walk away😭
Especially After Woman Payd Dowry !!!
I'm gonna say the dark truth.
They didn't saw the man, but his status and his pocket.
@@LG-qq7no there are many tribes in india where Men pay dowry to the girl (or her parents)
But thing is that, western media has directly called it as "Virgins for sale"
this is a serious problem in india ...glad that bbc is making a note of it
Marriage use to be held as a serious life changing matter. Now marriage is used as a scheme to get ahead. No love just greed, sick.
im irish we just marry for love
Cantron marriage was actually never about love. It's only now due to industrialization that we are more independent and can afford to marry for love
Cantron that's what happens when politics get involved too deep, it was at one point a strictly religious affair.
Cantron wrong. Historically marriage was completely gains based. Marrying for love is what created such a high divorce rate today
It wasn't a serious life changing matter; individuals would marry with the aim of moving up the echelon or for monetary gain, it was rarely ever for love. During the middle ages especially, the man in the relationship would have multiple lovers on the side and rarely interact with his wife.
This broke my heart 💔 so sad 😞
8:47 - It’s not only an aspect of domestic violence. It’s fraud. Pure and simple. And THAT in itself is a crime.
Domestic violence on the part of the females family for 'selling her off ' - why can't it be seen from this prospective too.
this also happens in UK, I have seen countless girls being deserted by husbands from Asian countries after getting indefinite stay to remain in UK! most with children, so its not just about British Asian men, this happens when u marry someone with wrong intentions from the start, be it for money or passport!
Zareena Choudary it's not always for money or for a passport, it goes deeper than that. Some are very poor and believe that they'll just have a better quality of life when they come here. The men treat them like princesses when they go to Pakistan or India to marry them and then when they come here they treat them like shit!
Aiysha Younis true it s happen yes for girl who born in europe by mens born in india pak. This men have no respect for human being
Zareena Choudary sooooooo true!!!!!!
Zareena Choudary They did it because the girls parents married them off. These girls did not marry for passport or money. They are viewed as commodity by both parties.
T
The asian women ...are indian women
Indians are Asians
@Ankit but ur name is Ankit.Which Indian women has the name Ankit🤣🤣 its a joke don't take it seriously
same thing indians are asian
Jordan Ramsumer not in Australia
This is a UK report. In the UK the Indian, Pakistani, Bangladeshi etc population are called Asians. We don't necessarily get specific and call them South Asians because they are the biggest Asian population here and are much bigger than the far east Asian population so they are the ones who get called Asians.
Why are they still doing this in this day and time, these backward ideas in India and other parts of the world.
Loretta Davis what should they do? Tinder? Ashley Maddison? Calling nations backwards, but how healthy are relationships in and dating in western societies, let alone the sky high STD infections.
Scooby Snax why don’t the family invest in the daughters education and teach her to be financially independent?
Trying to change a mentally of a culture is going to take time. Teach your son's that women are not Thier property. Scrap Dowreys and have a time limit for engagements like, you must be engaged for 2 years and allowed to get to know each other before marriage.
These are all good ideas but getting there people to agree to them is the problem.
The part where the official talks about domestic violence is key.
Most people don't realize that abuse goes far beyond physical and the law can address that, particularly when fraud and financial manipulation takes place.
Latinos from central America do the same, at least there is no dowry
.....
I am russian but with african blood from my dad, i was married to a Portuguese man, it was an abusive marriage. ...... and everyday i came across this kind of things. ..... its not only india's problem..... bad person is a bad person anywhere. Greed and dishonesty is everywhere and no laws against it.
What on earth are you talking about? I'm from Central America and never heard that before. Have you even been to any country in Central America?
@leisel Santiago A lot of foreigners marry Americans because they want to emigrate or think they have money, that's not limited to Latinos. Uruguay is in South America by the way.
Veronica C. I was going to say that! My partner is Colombian and their women are feisty, as is my sister in law and mother in law! Never mess with a Latino woman, you will end up with the heel of their shoe protruding from your eye! We are in the UK, and I also don’t know what this person is talking about.
This is just more systematic in India , that's the issue!
Not just a toxic relationship you know , that's the difference
Lier!
I guess we need to protect these ladies by introducing strict laws in the uk
It's not a UK problem .perhaps the law needs to change in India .
@@mrbeanz6451 when the husband has a UK citizenship & decides to dump his wife in India, the Indian govt can't do anything to the husband because he isn't an Indian citizen. If both were Indian citizens, then there're laws to protect the married women
Thank you for this eye-opener.
Revoke their passports and their mothers and father too if they physically or emotionally abuse the women and send the fools back to their villages in India or wherever. Publicly out them with their name and pics.
This is disgusting, how could anyone do that why get married in the first place if you're not man enough to keep a wife. plus it's sad to see that in some countries women are seen as dirt if they're widowed or divorced. People need to get educated.
Glorious Leader Well said
Glorious Leader because india is the only country that pays the men to marry their women so those junkies we'll get married to 100 wives n take the money2
Glorious Leader LOL, I think I will ask my 2 year old son.
Many decades ago, I had to have some psyche evaluation for a job once. It was an doctor from India and after some tests, he asked me about liking ladies. He talked about the negatives of attraction and then asked if there were any positives and I told him "yes, because it motivated me to go to college, get a good job so I could take care of a wife and children". He had this total look of disbelief, he just couldn't understand the concept of making myself a better person just to take care of a wife and children. It was totally alien to him to care about other people. Since then, I have traveled all over the world, lived in many wonderful places, but places like India still seem like a sick alien dystopia. How can Indian men be so callous?
He may have been shocked because you were American, other countries have bad views of us. We want to take care of our families and stuff, however, other countries think we don't care about them.
Or he's shocked because you are going to actually take care of your family and not rob your in-laws and wife and live off their backs. Men provide for themselves and their families. Not all Indians are like this. I met a few good ones.
Sick sick generalisation. Where there is good there is bad too, where there is bad there is good too. Life is not black and white. India is one country but with hundreds of traditions and religious customs.
@frosty 4 u I live in a neighbouring suburb of a major city in an English-speaking country, and I'm white, and I have only ever heard of two white people who were kicked out of their parents' home at age 18. One was a classmate of mine who attended the same high school as me up to grade 10, and then did grades 11 and 12 at a city two cities south of my city. The other one lived 3 houses over from my parents' house. My age is in the late 30s, so I have been on this Earth for a while and have heard many stories. But Indians tend to talk about being forced out of the house at age 18 as if it is much more common than it actually is.
@@gameypiettvgamergames7463 I'm a white Westerner, and when I found a reminder postcard in my mailbox in my apartment's mail room/foyer from a veterinarian in the city in which my apartment is located, reminding them to bring their pet dog in for a checkup, I was shocked. The previous tenants who lived in my apartment where a boyfriend&girlfriend couple from China.
What do you mean “Asian” BBC? That’s an entire continent with 50 countries, not a bloody village. Please specify.
Rehan No they don’t, I’m in the UK you wally.
😂 That was too funny thx Zed
Stop arranging marriage and this wont be a problem. Then theres no need for a dowry
There’ll still be plenty of rapes.
Bharath S Y'all still shit in the streets.
TheFlyingOtis dowry isn't necessarily tied to arranged marriage
These types of males, arranged marriage or not, no matter what colour are degenerate low down scum and ought to be treated as such.
These people's upbringing in india is bullshit
This rarely happens in Japan, Korea, Singapore, or Taiwan, all of which are in Asia.
Nor does it happen everywhere in India or even everywhere in Punjab (the state in India mentioned in this video). What's your point?
@Rehan said, "your people are EAST ASIANS... why don't you distinguish yourself from other asians by specifying yourself as EAST ASIAN/ORIENTALS?"
*1. Why are you assuming I am from the countries that I mention?*
*2. So, how do Indians distinguish themselves from other Asians?*
It is commonly happened in Indonesia which is a southeast asian country
They are afraid to call "India"
Thank you for bringing this to light!
Thank you for speaking up for these women. What awful people to do such a vile thing.
this is just depressing
VacivityLove life is at times .
I m from India
And I m totally agreed what sawed in this documentary
Our society is Soo bad and oxthodox thinking that kills Indian society internally, and that affects the women most 😐😑
LiPi SaHa she is no less guilty who only want to marry nri
What you SAWED
IN THIS MOVIE ?
Then marry to European man which would be better for u and enjoy divorce 1,2,3........
Raj Prince its better to get divorced 3 4 times than marry an Indian guy . To marry Indian guy you need to pay dowry , quit your job or education, live with his family and tolerate their tantrums . Its effectively like becoming the husband’s and his family’s domestic slave .
@dil oreo in this case, both party are equally responsible for this.
So well done
My heart is broken for them specially since the dowry is very high and the woman said she felt that her life is ruined :( I hope she feels empowered soon, this makes me want to become a lawyer
these men are worth less than a single grain of salt ... skin is completely wasted on them ...SMH
Karla Co no salt is needed for life. These men are not needed for anything....except maybe fertilizer.
Reason why I never wanna get married 😐
P.S I am Indian
Ok then go to hell
@Johnny Buoy Not all Indians act like that so stop acting like he is Indian so he will of course act like that. He is probably a troll.
Nikhil jamwal Nikhil jamwal she already lives in hell . It’s called India .
@Johnny Buoy why do you have so much hate for Indians ?
Unlike you Western peaces of shits, who consider themselves superior (even though they are not), people in India are rather open minded, polite and welcoming.
Stop spreading hate.
@@wildforfreedom6614 ask your mom to teach you some respect kid. If you have the guts, go tell that to an Indian's face living in your country . I am sure your wild with no freedom ass would be beaten badly.
This world is full of strange things. The more you live, the more you see strange things.
I can't believe it. I'm glad this open for all to see. Awareness is the key.
So the reason why you said Asians and not Indians is because you don't
want to insult the British Indians but somehow it's better to say
Asians which is insulting 48 countries?
aperfecte actually this is not just a indian issue. they just solely decided to focus on indians
In Britain, Asian is the term used to refer to desi men. Not everything is a conspiracy; language is just used differently around the world.
Yap Indians are asians
Fevie Jimenez They are not Asian ... in that case so is ALL of Europe and Russia. By definition Europe is not a Continent, thus making them APART of Asia and Asian. Indians are brown people but not Asian.
D W indians are asian because india classified as on the Asian continent.
wtf are you on bro
How could a human being do this to other person, I can’t believe such a bad cold hearted person exist in this world
They're not human.
My ex husband married me but he was talking to girls but he still married me, he didn't provide for me then after a year of marriage he went Pakistan and got married to another girl, then he divorced her. After sometime he got a girl pregnant, he told her a big bag of lies about me and this Muslim girl didn't know about me but he was still with me. I found out and got divorced but he was cheating on her with other girls and she was pregnant, moved her out of London so she dont find out about me. I divorced him. SubhanAllaah
Now my 2nd husband lied and tricked me into polygamy marriage, I cry and I'm so upset how a man can lie and trick me into polygamy marriage SubhanAllaah. The other wife dont know about me, he moved her out of London Tooting area to Blackpool in 2019 summer time, so I dont leave him, now he tells me their is no wife "Sakina", I said because you moved her to Blackpool so I cant tell her now and the wife didn't even question him, the mans moved you out of London SubhanAllaah.
Be careful sisters, dont trust noone. Most Muslim brothers have other girls and that's how it is nowadays SubhanAllaah. My husband had me and her then he was talking to other girls for marriage, he didn't tell these girls he was married with children.
He was talking to girls online and his family took him to see other girls at their homes "CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT" you know your son is married with children and your taking him to see other girls for marriage SubhanAllaah.
Alot of guys are married or have secret wives and secret girlfriends and secret children SubhanAllaah Ya Allah so please be careful, be careful. I cry so much because I love him, unconditional love Allah swt put in my heart for my husband.
Now I'm suffering with mental health issues, emotional abuse too because he was married I got a infection from him too from him having sex with the wife and that's how I found out he was married to another woman SubhanAllaah. The wife still dont know about me Terrible.
@johnny bhai Thank you and I'm waiting for judgement day too.
This is heart breaking.. these men will pay for what they did in this life or the next I guarantee you.
Don't marry that person who asks for dowry. And file an FIR against them.
The title should be THE WIVES ABANDONED BY BRITISH INDIAN MEN .... not asian ...
But not all Asians are Indian... putting everyone in the same basket isn't good.
***** as Ade's said not all asians are indians ... Asia is HUGE in case you missed that day of geography class in school. Stereotyping a whole continent because one country has some stupid practices is not wise.
no because it happens in Pakistan and Bangladesh aswell as other asian countries. Just because they have only covered india in this video doesnt mean that it only happens there.
SahibaX AliX I have never heard about it with Pakistani or Bangladeshis ... so i would refrain from jumping to a conclusion, and since they only covered INDIA, they should name ONLY India. When they have enough proof to expose guys from the rest of the asian countries involved in similar practices then they can have title mentioned above. Until then, it should be only focused on INDIA. (It's common sense really)
+Mohammad Khan Yes, it happens in Pakistan and Bangladesh.
can't imagine a world in which my husband beats me and the in-laws join him at beating me!! what kind of people are these?? it can't be blamed on poverty, so what is it? what's wrong with them??? sigh
it's a cultural problem. they live in a society that accepts that kind of shit. for all the laws the advocates in this video talked about (and I agree with them), they need to change the culture as well so that women aren't placed in that kind of situation to be taken advantage of in the first place.
The religion, the culture.
Druuna55 it is not poverty.
Lack of women empowerment. For centuries, females have been sexual accessories and reproduction machines for men. They have been deprived of education, skills, and hence pursuit of happiness. Men like it that way. Now that women are slowly gaining independence, men are not only stepping back a bit but out of sheer jealousy resorting to perverse behavior such as rape (cruelest of cruel forms) as well as acid throwing.
the women are dependent. they have not developed marketable skills or had not been employed before marriage. if women have to be free from this then they should be financially independent.
"They are seen as DAMAGED GOODS"
Too many times I heard the word "Used" and "Unused"
Quitessence of cringe
Rather they have experience and lessons learned which is only beneficial
Music is deafening. Can't hear the people speak?
These traditions don't get left behind when people immigrate.
They don’t want to assimilate
@Anna Dayton nah I’m first generation Italian born and integrated quite well
Yes some do! I met an Indian man here in U S married with 3 daughter’s. I ask if he was going to pick there husband’s? He looked at me and said (no I can’t pick there shoes let alone there husbands)
This makes me so sad. Not just because of how awfully these women have been treated, but because it highlights yet another serious, complex issue with how women are treated in society! It seems everyday I see a completely new, and equally disgusting behaviour by the strong enacted on minorities or the vulnerable. There is no end to the ingenuity humans will apply when exploiting others for their own personal gain. Where do we even start when trying to tackle so many diverse and complex violations?
Dom Carter You took words out of my mouth. Yes, human ingenuity knows no bound when it comes to exploiting others. Yes, so many diverse problems in the world of humans.
Glad that you see this as a human issue, not just Indian issue
Dom Carter please watch videos of Jim Nduruchi
mizzmolly well said!!
Dom Carter and india suppose to be the largest so called DEMOCRACY in the world. More like THE LARGEST POVERTY in the the world.
People in asia and in third world countries think that votting is as far as democracy goes shammm
Subject should read: The Wives Abandoned by British Indian Men.
Isn't India in the continent of Asia?
@@V.E.R.O. It is but by Asian it usually means people from China, Japan,Korea, Phillipines.
Exactly .... would you like us to write european men or women if anything is about italian or spanish people or british people
@@rehanmustafa84 Duh! They ARE European so why not?
@@V.E.R.O. India's pm has abandoned his wife, you talk about people 😓
The best advise I could give to anyone who is considering marrying someone from another country is to get to know them first real good and don't just jump into it as you could end up in that situation and robbed.
This happens all the time in India ... the craze of sending their daughters abroad for a better life with the NRI !!
Sad but true
Let’s not forget that criminals comprising of entire families are not uncommon. The lovely human species.
Absolutely disgusting and shameful. Those poor women....very sad to watch this.
What about their families who force them to get married?
It really is heart-breaking and sad to hear and learn about such events
India is believed to be a superpower in 21st century. However, as far as such an injustice continues to exist in India, India`s future is not necessarily bright as we believe.
ok lets see from this point, someone idiot from 1.2 billion stomps growth of country? makesense and plz get some sense
Police does as much as it can to serve justice,its actually the girls parents who want their girl to be settled in western countries and therefore hardly check the boys background
That's not related to being a superpower, even USA became superpower on corpses of slaves.
why don't you do documentary with the culprit challenge brooms and show in UK or Canada
My heart hurts for these women. 🙏
hey BBC, change the tittle, it should be BRITISH INDIAN MEN, do not generalized all Asian men like these craps in India
Yutmen Soru+ India is in South east Asia, therefore people from there are Asians. It's not rocket science.
Ummm to clarify the ignorance.... Due to British colonialism and the British empire, us Brits use "Asian" to generalise people of Indian, Pakistani, Bangladeshi, Sri Lankan and Kashmiri descent all of which are members of the Asian subcontinent and ALL of which have this kind of issue in their communities, hence the headline, "Asian."
Yutmen Soru well then if you really want to be so accurate then it shoud be renamed to british punjabi men 'cause most of the south indian, east indian(yeahthe one with "actual" asian features) are not craps as you generalize them to be.
they must be held accountable
Why two subtitles? Can not read!
Paying for education is much better than paying a "boy" to marry your daughter.
I thank God for my Mama and Papa. They worked hard and was able to send me to college.
why cant a woman get a job if she is not a virgin ?? How would her employer know ? Why does it even matter ? is her boss a virgin ??
marital status?
these men and their families are really evil
Wow this is not good.Very shameful to do this to another.
That is an oddly specific classification in the video