Does your spouse want a divorce? 😢 Tell us more about your situation. We want to help you if we can. If you'd like to speak with someone directly, schedule a free strategy call here: your.marriagehelper.com/meetings/marriagehelper/connect
All the video links on the free mini course are broken. Hey, just like my marriage. Thank you, I’ll be here all night. I do enjoy your RUclips videos. Thanks for taking the time to try & help.
ive been watching multiple marriage helpers all over youtube and they all have one thing in common. Focus on yourself is the only way to fix it, find why they left and work on that.
I've caused a lot of problems in my marriage. On this journey to be a better man, father and husband I have really become more awake. Just a few weeks ago I truly believed that my wife was to blame for my shortfalls. I also believed that my upbringing was to blame for how I behave and react to situations. Watching your videos and many others and reading everything I can on the issue, the overwhelming common denominator is that no one ever says the spouse is to blame and that everything begins within ourselves. The craziest thing I've noticed is that this experience has woken me up in a way that I know I can never go back to being who I was. My struggle is in not knowing if the efforts are noticed or appreciated or working. I need to work on patience I suppose.
I am in a similar position and is trying my best to work on myself to become a better person. Hopefully time will heal our relationship in a position way. I'm still in love with my wife and continue to be supportive both emotionally and financially. I do hope our marriage will be repaired.
Divorce is never the way out, My husband and I have been having issues before I sort out help from a spiritual adviser, I wasn't going to let my marriage of 9years crash
My wife and I are getting a divorce after 15 years of marriage . I got served the papers a little over a month. It’s a long story, but I hope it doesn’t happen. I think it’s a big mistake. There was no cheating, physical abuse, no drug use, no gambling or whatever. It’s as good as a divorce is going to get. It will be joint custody, split everything 50/50 and no child support. We are both great parents and so much trust between both us when it comes to the kids. We sleep in the same bed still and help each other all the time. We have two kids and they are into sports so we are always on the run. It’s insane. Lol. Hopefully she changes her mind, but all I can do is give her space. I’m 50 and she’s 41 so I’m sure that plays a part. Anyway, I have no clue why I’m writing this. Lol. Crazy.
I'm going through this now, except, he has not filed. We sleep in the same bed, we crack each other up, we repaired our dryer the other day. We know that we love and care for each other, but, he has said he is done. We are going to therapy (individually and together) and today was the first time, I've had hope with my husband. Work on yourself. I know people always advise this, but, it is the one thing you can control. Be her best friend again. Try not to repeat old patterns that just lead to frustration and resentment. I don't know where my path is going, but, I am committed to standing up for our marriage and I will be a better person. I hope you find your breath-through moment too! Good luck!
My wife of 19 years has told me she wants a divorce... I can't sleep,eat,think or concentrate on my job or anything really !! It has devastated my soul!!
I'm only just starting to go through the first stages of this and it's hard because I still need to co parent and I don't like the idea that I'm going to wait for her but she's not sure if she will come back to me I'm still in the same place with my family but it's hard being around my wife and trying not to talk to her about it And it's pretty hard to give her space when we are still in the same house
Here because the other day my wife asked for a divorce. I never listened to her needs well enough which is completely true, i was a fool. Now she says its too late but i don't want to give up a marriage i vowed to.
So sorry to see this. You have to take leadership in your marriage by working on yourself. The fact you openly acknowledge this is an indication that you can do this if you commit. If you'd like some pointers, let me know
@@relationshipsrebuilt my wife of ten years has told me I need to let her go and now she is not answering my phone calls. I’m so hurt and devastated. I want to keep fighting for this but she is done and I don’t know what to do
@frankgeary7574 I know how you feel I'm trying to convince her to try and work it out but the harsh truth us I have to let her go and if it's meant to be she will come back I have made a vow to remain single if things don't work out I have nothing else to gain through trying to find someone else just to possibly end up going through more pain and drama
My spouse met a younger girl and had an emotional affair. Now he cannot give me his all and wishes to pursue her, even though we get along and our life has been so easy and our families are intertwined. In the end I need to be chosen. He initiated the divorce and is acting like nothing is happening and still being friendly snd joking around. I know there is no hope and the door is shut for me. I am not a backup plan.
Just found this video, and i have been focusing on myself for the last couple months, getting better at listening and communicating... my spouse doesn't want to work on the marriage. She does see that I've been doing many things better, but can't get past thinking that i will just revert sometime after if she decides to stay...she's also had an emotional affair. That complicates things so much more, because if we do get divorced and she starts fully seeing someone else, that's it. I can't be 2nd place or a fallback... but it will absolutely devastate me. I don't know what to do but I keep trying to make myself better I just feel like that won't be enough or soon enough.
I’m making things worse in our relationship. He wants me to leave because he’s unhappy, still loves me and likes me. But he’s started keeping things from me like where he’s actually spending his weekends at and who he is with. He’s never lied to me before anything of this started. All these emotions and negativity running through my head. I just want my husband back
The bottom line is the heart... whether someone is a good person or not. A good person will have a heart for the things and ways of God and will make the necessary changes to work things out. It will be their desire to follow God's design for men and women and marriage. Someone with Godly integrity. Marriage Helper is really good at guiding and teaching God's design both individually and as a couple. Following their advice will make you a better person. However, again, it takes someone with a heart for God to be willing to recognize the error of their ways and repent. You can become the best spouse anyone could want or need, but it will not bring your spouse back if they don't have a heart for the things and ways of God. A good person will work things out. A bad person will not. Soo, if someone doesn't come back, it speaks volumes as to their heart and the type of person they are.
There seem to be a lot of people who turn around, but before they do they definitely don't seem to have a heart of God. I feel like it's so hard to determine.
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,l got help from a great man who brought us back together...
I don't think my spouse would want to work on the marriage or join in doing the workshop together. We've been together over 20 years, and I truly believe we could save our marriage if she would be willing to try.
Pray; Get others to pray for you; start seeking counsel... as much as you can; start working on you; look at your sin and repent; go to her and express where you've been wrong. Yeah, I know you have a list for her wrongs... put it aside for now... you can't change her, but you can change you (you're going to hear that a lot) You have driven her away most likely just like I drove my wife away. I've been married 25 years and am trying to win her back. Study, learn, apply. God is in the business of miracles. Believe and follow His instructions... be gentle; learn what God says love is; be faithful to her no matter what until you die because that's how faithful God is to His bride (see Hosea)
Hey RP, We offer a couples online and in-person workshop as well as a Solo Spouse workshop in case your spouse is unwilling to attend. You can learn more about our workshops by following this link directly! If anything works to save your marriage, this will. marriagehelper.com/workshops/
My husband has filed after five years of separation. His affair lasted for three years. But he doesn't want to come back bc he says he is trapped in this marriage. I will be divorced in few months. I did everything I could. I used smart contact not perfectly throughout all these years but I did.
Hey @hereim5648, Just out of curiosity, have you taken advantage of our free mini course? We know times are tough and want to provide as much as we can to you free of charge. That's why we created this free mini course. It will teach you how to get your spouse back and give you a plan moving forward! You can get access to it directly by following this link: your.marriagehelper.com/how-to-get-your-spouse-back-mini-course Also, you may apply for a scholarship to attend our Solo Spouse Workshop online! We would love to see you in there. If this marriage doesn't work out, which we pray that it does, the workshop will teach you how to become the best version of yourself, if not in this marriage then the next relationship. But we believe there is always hope! Only you can decide when to stop standing. Please consider calling us cause there is always hope! 1 866 903 0990!
I dont want a divorce from my husband...but he thinks just because i walked out of the house i want divorce..we had great 4years of marriage..until my in laws got involved...i couldn't take the blame of taking their son away from them so i left..n here iam..5weeks away from him..he didnt even ask me to come back ..not even once...the whole family wants me to divorce now.
I divorced my wife I wish I didn’t have to but I had to do it for myself. I still love her very much it wasn’t an easy thing to do. After we separated she hid where she is living from me and hardly had anything to do with me. We still texted every day and we dated a few times over the six months we were separated but for the most part she didn’t want to see me at all. That really broke my heart and I don’t really know if she was seeing someone else or what. Between not knowing what is going on/what she’s doing and having blowout fights because she’s asking me for money and I’m telling her no I pretty much decided that this toxic situation had to end.
Good for you, she’s taking advantage of you. I don’t believe in divorce but your wife has abandoned you to try to find someone “better,” while keeping you in limbo so she could have a cushion if she fails.
My spouse has filed due to what she says is my refusal to agree to a separation which isn’t true. My 15 year old daughter wants this to happen due to our arguments which escalated regarding her through the past year or so. I am moving out hopefully temporarily and am scared it is the beginning of the end. She did say she’s not in a hurry and is keeping a sort of open mind
I did not treat my husband well and he gave me plenty of chances now he wants me to leave. I don't want to be away from him. He says it's just a separation and we need time to work on ourselves, so we can be better for not just ourselves but each other and that nothing's over but I desperately so just want to be with him and not leave him.
I still am trying to learn what self love means or even feels like. I’ve been with my wife for 13 year since we were teenagers. We are now facing a divorce and I know it’s because I didn’t support her how she needed. But what is self love? How do you start to feel that?
@@ogechifaith4466 it’s okay. I’ve been going to therapy and decided I will be happier alone. It’s never just one persons fault and that’s how I felt. I do not feel that way anymore.
My husband want us to start the divorce. He also said he aleays will live me and he want us to have contact. I dont understand anything. I will focus on myself and he has to take the first step after the divorced is final. Nothing happend like cgeating or abuse and I always felt we have a good relationship. I losing my bestfriend and he was that for 14 years
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,l got help from a great man who brought us back together...
My wife told me that her therapist said I was a narcissist. I never met the therapist and I asked how she could diagnose me like that. She said she did and I was definitely a narcissist. I immediately scheduled an appointment with a therapist of my own so that I could fix my narcissism and be the best husband and father I could be. My therapist did a bunch of sessions with me and said that I was very well adjusted and not a narcissist at all. I told him I must be tricking you. I've been told I could be quite tricky. I asked him to dig deeper and to find the narcissism so that we could root it out. I wasn't kidding, if I have this horrible disease I want it gone. The problem is I have good relationships with lots of people and I have dozens of customers. I still get along with my mom and dad and I get along great with my kids. I was diagnosed by somebody that I've never even met and I did everything to address that diagnosis. To no avail. I'm divorced now and actually it's pretty peaceful.
My husband served me divorce papers almost a week ago. I don’t want this divorce. My husband is admit he is over this and he says he doesn’t love me. I have begged to go to counseling but he says no/ we have our first meeting before a judge this week and I’m desperate to keep my family together. We are really good except when we fight. I know I lose my temper easy and fight hard. I need help
It takes two to tango… could you no longer argue with him? Try reading Fascinating Womanhood? Learning how to de-escalate heated decisions works wonders .
I've been married to the same man for over 36 years, come to find out he has had a fling with this woman he has finally got to have due to his cousin has died. Except for me being in the way.. He first wanted me to stay in the home so I wouldn't wind up in a trailer with hardly any money he says , he feels sorry for me. But in the meantime he's staying with her one night sleeping with her than coming home and I'm trying to fix my marriage and he says he still loves me but he loves her too! He believes you can love two woman.everyone tells me to divorce him, he has moved out of the home totally with her, buying her things and doing things with her and showing her he cares more for her than me.. I don't really want a divorce!!
Rebuke Jezebel who is controlling your husband. We wives supposedly the prayer warriors. Husband is the head of the family so the enemy will attack him first by using Jezebel.
My marriage because I had low testosterone lacked intimacy. And she felt unwanted and unloved for years. Since I've returned my levels to normal. Now I want to be intimate with her. She says it's to late. Now she is sleeping with multiple partners and sleeping with others to fill that emotional hole. I feel responsible. I still want her back. But she is scared everything will go back to where it was before. What do I do?
My wife thinks that when I mess up, I have given up on her and want to go back to my addiction, which is not true. I am learning how to be a better person every day but she thinks I can just start the day as a different person without addiction.
How do I move forward when my wife's reasoning for disconnecting from the marriage is that she misses her freedom... and that she no longer wishes to compromise, just wants to be able to do whatever she wants, whenever she wants... I've already admitted my faults in the relationship that has caused her to re-evaluate her life choices, but she no longer wishes to discuss anything and "give up her freedom". She recently experienced some deaths in her circle, as well as celebrating her 50th birthday milestone - she just kept mentioning I'm 50yrs old and have 20-30yrs left, I don't want to do this anymore.
My partner has narcissistic tendencies & he with draws his love when angry. It feels that he is trying to make me think and act like him. Often he corrects me to the point of emotional blackmail. If I do not see a therapist then we will divorce. I am sensitive and he resents my emotions. I am not sure how to handle this situation.
See the therapist. If you are causing a problem in the marriage they will show you what to do and it will help your marriage tremendously. If you are not the problem, the counselor will see that. Most importantly is to pray and ask for guidance and for God to change you and open your spouse's heart.
PS my spouse also has narc tendencies (victim mentality for sure). I'm praying, working on me, and trusting God to work on them (that part is hard sometimes).
I have three children with my ex wife, I remarried but now we are separated, I made mistakes considering as an affair, I did not have ant physical contact with that woman but really affected my relationship with my wife when she looked a some picture I had in my phone, I regret it I want to work on me, to be a better man and save our marriage.
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,l got help from a great man who brought us back together...
I wish I get back with her, she said she doesn’t feel the same, and that every thing it’s over, I’m trying to let her go but in the process I’m hurting, I love And I want a second chance.
Yes im on track this is reguards to my movie time, usally i do watch one ovie pic as a treat to ent my mind, at the end of modules the learning and ent and ive learned think and ent in the mind with out words are both diffrent thing out of all thjis....
I have four topic that i watch for about few monthg then half threw i noticed that on my behavior in th emoind and sattetion my need my want then my desire cause my treamnet in the mind effct that desire and that effect my desire to want ot choose some thing the study the treat that what ive learned too
Anyone care to chime in? I understand the concepts, they make sense. But how does someone do this when they feel deeply betrayed? Ive tried so much these last years, all kinds of initiatives to learn about relationships and invest in each other. With a few exceptions there was always resistance from my wife. She has let go of most of her christian believes (and principles of caring for others) in the process. Her anouncement of divorce a few weeks ago feels like a stab in the heart. Id like to be nice and invoke feelings of friendship but just being near her makes me so sad and angry i can hardly function. If it were just me i think i could deal with it but since there are two amazing young boys involved i take this extremely personal.
Hi, I'm sorry to hear that. I think it's natural to feel that sadness and anger, I think it's your hurt for what is going to be lost, and the lack of thought you might perceive on behalf of your wife. I'd say in addition to the video tips, I'd first try forgiving her, as hard as it may be, pray for God to help you in forgiving her. I think in spite of the pain, try to delve into your Bible, since you seem to be a Christian. God heals hurts and gives us peace that surpasses all understanding. From that point its likely that the changes that take effect in your life from those things will be seen by her, and she may probably remember what she is risking losing. Live your life as best as you can, showing her love, but no pressure...just keep praying, but don't lose your joy. Hope this helps.🙌. My husband has also been playing around with the idea of divorce since I tried to enforce healthy boundaries, and refuses my request for counseling also...I'm praying and standing on God's Word.
@@kissiwilson2948 thank you, I really appreciate that. Tough to not feel overwhelmed by it all. It seems everything I care for in life is over now.....with the exception of our boys but even them I can't raise anymore in the way I wanted to (as a safe family unit).
You're welcome. Yes, I agree fully, it's very difficult and can indeed be overwhelming. I know this first hand - the fear, uncertainty, feeling of desertion mixed with anger can definitely kick in for me also. But I believe the fact that she's abandoning her Christian principles is a sign that you're in a clear spiritual fight for your family. Once you have forgiven her genuinely, just keep praying and let God do the rest. You can only control you. But in the meantime maybe join a bible study group, book club or pick up running etc to get the frustration out. Keep speaking into your life what you're praying to God for. Blessings.
As suggested in video, focus on big picture. Myself, I had to realize communication was our issue. I needed to change. We were in a rut. Funny, I read the Bible each day. I put similar focus each day in better communication and focus on our relationship, were back on track
well i have that wraped up in boared, cause i really dont too many inmate way to fell think by way of fact i have a good family and they only want to do this stpe and to them i have had a very simple li=fe easy to fit etcetc AND YES i idid " I have it wraped up in boared" back to my topic
on the module I add to topic one more topic on a friday to learn, "why do i like to gamble with my life" the next topic is on a saturday ted x " over coming boundaires" for the next threew week and yes i do have hit list with then the movie after usally yes I do have a forhead idea to jot down but thta probley too much for what ever that beast burden prbley me to get put of the way andf i knw it not me i knw me from me ok
That's why even though painful things has happen. You have to divorce in a peaceful and respectful manner, maybe one day things will get better after both of you rectify your mistakes.
@Gerald I'm sorry you're in this spot. This was the first Marriage Helper podcast I listened to. I wasn't sure where to start and this seemed to make sense. Today I volunteer with Marriage Helper. marriagehelper.com/first-step-podcast/
@@geraldbannan434 I'm very sorry for this. I can't imagine how it's affecting you. You're better than her and I believe you know you are. I hope you're doing good and if you need someone to talk to, I'm here for you
Divorce can be like peeling back layers of an onion, revealing all sorts of surprises. I never realized just how important firms like *Usespy* are in helping folks navigate through the mess. It's like having a guiding light in the darkness.........
Mr. Friedman i have the utmost respect for you and your work but i think your reccomendation on this topic is wrong. I kist cant accept its either my fault or in my hands to fix it. For me its about perspective and attitude. I will not be taking your advice this one time.
Please, i want to safe my marriage life but my husband is so much hurry to get divorce, he already filed for separation and after that divorce. But i still want to stay with because i love him so much. Please Please help me, what should i do ?
Hey here is not to destroy your marriage put your ego away and listen before your spouse decides to divorce you if it’s there already kick rocks you deserve it
How about when the spouse takes child and secretly retains an attorney and opens a dissolution case and you only find out 30 days later bc documents were left on your door…. !?
What do you do when your spouse wants an explanation and you simply fell out of love with them. Don't want to hurt him, rather have him think I'm a villain then tell him that. But he WANTS THEE reason. Smh..
Love is a choice every day. If you do the things that you did when you were in the 'high, delirious phase' of love, you would see a change in your perspective I'm certain. Also hopefully you arent trying to keep your relationship in the honeymoon phase , but understand the need for it to mature .
@@kissiwilson2948 this is only effective when BOTH parties do it. Being the only one trying to keep the marriage alive wasn't reasonable. Being a one pony show wasn't cutting it. Being a single working mother while being married wasn't cutting it. It's equally important to know when to throw in the towel.
All this talk about winning the woman back. If she don’t want you, let her go. I never hear about how much the woman needs to change. Women just tear families apart and blame the man. These desperate dudes gotta let it go. I get it. I been there, let her go!
Especially if she's already contacting another dude, that means she doesn't love you. And many guys are forcing to be with a woman who doesn't love them back.
What do you do if your husband want to divorce and you both have a son you stayef with him when he had nothing now he is better in life and he is leaving. He start to go out with a new girl and post her on his status
He even bring the girl with him twice when he came to pick my son up what can i do. He says i intertogat him because i ask him alot of question and need an answer
Well, he wants to continue but, he doesn’t make efforts to fix it. No church, no counselor and no change in behaviors. I agree! Work in yourself first! He flirts with women everywhere. The respect is gone!!! I am done!!! The Bible says, “love trust all things”. Where is trust when the man is lustful???
My husband moved out and wanted a divorce, but I choose not to divorce, this is because he say our age Factor.... I m much older than him. Is there any hope we can back together... It just me try to stand up for our marriage...
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,l got help from a great man who brought us back together...
The area you seem to hope to appeal to is a reasonable being. You hope to get to the root of why a person is DETERMINED to trash the marriage at the expense of their partner. This fails to take into account marriage to a narcissist. This means that they would only return for as long as they are in control of the terms under which they can punish their partner by threatening to leave again. The result is that the high price of keeping this cold emotionless dictator in your life is to PERMANENTLY allow yourself to be a doormat with the outright knowledge that you will NEVER be able to do enough for them till the day you die
Trying to stay married to a woman who has decided to leave is a no win situation........let her go and move on with your life. I got dumped and it enabled me to marry a wonderful woman that was my soul mate for 29 years until she passed away.......don't beat a dead horse, it's over. Leaving is what the majority of women do, that's why the vast majority of divorces are instigated by women.....they get bored easily and then the grass looks greener on the other side of the fence. Women are flighty by nature, and they are encouraged to divorce you because they can cash in by getting half of your assets.
My wife wants a divorce i don't she said she needs closure to this chapter of us,but that it doesn't mean we can't get back together i cheated and deeply regret it
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,l got help from a great man who brought us back together...
yes my only needs are meet excet my mind set and complex towrds some areb really foewl too me that im very very discermintory too then yes im kinda but i do not soicial or prefre to talk to them okkk they aRE IN MY HEAD THAT WHY OK ETCETCETCETCETCM IM OFF BACK TOP MY LIFE AND ROUMNTI ANF HOBBIE
Back to the movie as the treat my idea on the topic the is as follows as a wat to follow and i do im inda stick about cause i have that welcome comfort etc you knbw with what i git nothe wat iam too me and only me im ok but to it them etcetcetc and yes not to there for that why the church does my sculpter my persaonal ok back to my plat list on the movie is as follows a comedy a drame a sci fi then what movie comes when i got and up to it ..... and latly no ok but oiam on yraCck ok
Does your spouse want a divorce? 😢
Tell us more about your situation. We want to help you if we can.
If you'd like to speak with someone directly, schedule a free strategy call here:
your.marriagehelper.com/meetings/marriagehelper/connect
I want divorce from him
can someone help me😔
She wants it after 14 years because of my mistales and broken promises and commitments. I miss her. What can I do?
All the video links on the free mini course are broken. Hey, just like my marriage. Thank you, I’ll be here all night.
I do enjoy your RUclips videos. Thanks for taking the time to try & help.
No the links work fine
My wife of 43 years moved out I will never stop loving her I'm holding on to Jesus please pray for my family and marriage 🙏
We are here for you. Just remember that you are not alone. If you would like to reach out to someone on our team, visit your.marriagehelper.com/apply
Praying for restoration right now in the name of Jesus
How can you help when my spouse already filed for the divorce (cost a lot too) & he doesn’t want to work anything out, he has no feels for me?
ive been watching multiple marriage helpers all over youtube and they all have one thing in common. Focus on yourself is the only way to fix it, find why they left and work on that.
I've caused a lot of problems in my marriage. On this journey to be a better man, father and husband I have really become more awake. Just a few weeks ago I truly believed that my wife was to blame for my shortfalls. I also believed that my upbringing was to blame for how I behave and react to situations. Watching your videos and many others and reading everything I can on the issue, the overwhelming common denominator is that no one ever says the spouse is to blame and that everything begins within ourselves. The craziest thing I've noticed is that this experience has woken me up in a way that I know I can never go back to being who I was. My struggle is in not knowing if the efforts are noticed or appreciated or working. I need to work on patience I suppose.
@Moonlight Guidance wizardz
I am in a similar position and is trying my best to work on myself to become a better person. Hopefully time will heal our relationship in a position way. I'm still in love with my wife and continue to be supportive both emotionally and financially. I do hope our marriage will be repaired.
Thanks for your post. I am currently in a similar spot and allowing my pain and traumas on to my wife.
I am in a same situation and I can't fix it and I hope you'll help me
Hey brother. Going through from what it sounds the EXACT same situations
Divorce is never the way out, My husband and I have been having issues before I
sort out help from a spiritual adviser, I wasn't going to let my marriage of 9years crash
Amazing, I am kind of in a similar situation, how did you handle it?
well not the orthodox way but I was referred by a friend to a spiritual adviser and healer
please how can I get in touch with the spiritual adviser?
Her name is Quelani Eileen Freja, and she is a great spiritual adviser as well as caster
you can look her name up online and you will find all you need.
Living in a high response state sounds like me. I'm physically shaking right now.
My wife and I are getting a divorce after 15 years of marriage . I got served the papers a little over a month. It’s a long story, but I hope it doesn’t happen. I think it’s a big mistake. There was no cheating, physical abuse, no drug use, no gambling or whatever. It’s as good as a divorce is going to get. It will be joint custody, split everything 50/50 and no child support. We are both great parents and so much trust between both us when it comes to the kids. We sleep in the same bed still and help each other all the time. We have two kids and they are into sports so we are always on the run. It’s insane. Lol. Hopefully she changes her mind, but all I can do is give her space. I’m 50 and she’s 41 so I’m sure that plays a part. Anyway, I have no clue why I’m writing this. Lol. Crazy.
Sorry, I’ve been there and here again. I wish you the very best and make sure you take care of yourself.
Ryan, have you read Dr. Beam's book The Art of Falling in Love? marriagehelper.com/get-spouse-keep-falling-love-dr-joe-show-podcast/
@@TG-to3dv hey
I am sorry. Why?
I'm going through this now, except, he has not filed. We sleep in the same bed, we crack each other up, we repaired our dryer the other day. We know that we love and care for each other, but, he has said he is done. We are going to therapy (individually and together) and today was the first time, I've had hope with my husband. Work on yourself. I know people always advise this, but, it is the one thing you can control. Be her best friend again. Try not to repeat old patterns that just lead to frustration and resentment. I don't know where my path is going, but, I am committed to standing up for our marriage and I will be a better person. I hope you find your breath-through moment too! Good luck!
My wife of 19 years has told me she wants a divorce... I can't sleep,eat,think or concentrate on my job or anything really !!
It has devastated my soul!!
I'm only just starting to go through the first stages of this and it's hard because I still need to co parent and I don't like the idea that I'm going to wait for her but she's not sure if she will come back to me
I'm still in the same place with my family but it's hard being around my wife and trying not to talk to her about it
And it's pretty hard to give her space when we are still in the same house
Here because the other day my wife asked for a divorce. I never listened to her needs well enough which is completely true, i was a fool. Now she says its too late but i don't want to give up a marriage i vowed to.
So sorry to see this. You have to take leadership in your marriage by working on yourself. The fact you openly acknowledge this is an indication that you can do this if you commit. If you'd like some pointers, let me know
@@relationshipsrebuilt my wife of ten years has told me I need to let her go and now she is not answering my phone calls. I’m so hurt and devastated. I want to keep fighting for this but she is done and I don’t know what to do
@frankgeary7574 I know how you feel
I'm trying to convince her to try and work it out but the harsh truth us I have to let her go and if it's meant to be she will come back
I have made a vow to remain single if things don't work out
I have nothing else to gain through trying to find someone else just to possibly end up going through more pain and drama
My spouse met a younger girl and had an emotional affair. Now he cannot give me his all and wishes to pursue her, even though we get along and our life has been so easy and our families are intertwined. In the end I need to be chosen. He initiated the divorce and is acting like nothing is happening and still being friendly snd joking around. I know there is no hope and the door is shut for me. I am not a backup plan.
Just found this video, and i have been focusing on myself for the last couple months, getting better at listening and communicating... my spouse doesn't want to work on the marriage. She does see that I've been doing many things better, but can't get past thinking that i will just revert sometime after if she decides to stay...she's also had an emotional affair. That complicates things so much more, because if we do get divorced and she starts fully seeing someone else, that's it. I can't be 2nd place or a fallback... but it will absolutely devastate me.
I don't know what to do but I keep trying to make myself better I just feel like that won't be enough or soon enough.
Here to educate myself because I don't want my marriage to fail. It's all up to him and this is beyond difficult
I can totally relate. I feel so helpless.
@LORI-JAN SPRINGER I'm not sure what's going on with our society but it's heading in a very superficial direction. Nobody values people anymore
@@ladyvirgo013its called capitalism.
Profit not people.
I felt this so much. 🥺
I’m making things worse in our relationship. He wants me to leave because he’s unhappy, still loves me and likes me. But he’s started keeping things from me like where he’s actually spending his weekends at and who he is with. He’s never lied to me before anything of this started. All these emotions and negativity running through my head. I just want my husband back
The bottom line is the heart... whether someone is a good person or not. A good person will have a heart for the things and ways of God and will make the necessary changes to work things out. It will be their desire to follow God's design for men and women and marriage. Someone with Godly integrity.
Marriage Helper is really good at guiding and teaching God's design both individually and as a couple. Following their advice will make you a better person.
However, again, it takes someone with a heart for God to be willing to recognize the error of their ways and repent. You can become the best spouse anyone could want or need, but it will not bring your spouse back if they don't have a heart for the things and ways of God. A good person will work things out. A bad person will not. Soo, if someone doesn't come back, it speaks volumes as to their heart and the type of person they are.
Agree completely God is the center
There seem to be a lot of people who turn around, but before they do they definitely don't seem to have a heart of God. I feel like it's so hard to determine.
@@salemthorup9536 You're right!
@@chasingwaterfalls958 Amen
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,l got help from a great man who brought us back together...
I don't think my spouse would want to work on the marriage or join in doing the workshop together. We've been together over 20 years, and I truly believe we could save our marriage if she would be willing to try.
Pray; Get others to pray for you; start seeking counsel... as much as you can; start working on you; look at your sin and repent; go to her and express where you've been wrong. Yeah, I know you have a list for her wrongs... put it aside for now... you can't change her, but you can change you (you're going to hear that a lot) You have driven her away most likely just like I drove my wife away. I've been married 25 years and am trying to win her back. Study, learn, apply. God is in the business of miracles. Believe and follow His instructions... be gentle; learn what God says love is; be faithful to her no matter what until you die because that's how faithful God is to His bride (see Hosea)
@@sonnyh9774 Thank you! I'm working on myself, and I 've expressed to her where I've been wrong.
Hey RP, We offer a couples online and in-person workshop as well as a Solo Spouse workshop in case your spouse is unwilling to attend. You can learn more about our workshops by following this link directly! If anything works to save your marriage, this will. marriagehelper.com/workshops/
My husband has filed after five years of separation. His affair lasted for three years. But he doesn't want to come back bc he says he is trapped in this marriage. I will be divorced in few months. I did everything I could. I used smart contact not perfectly throughout all these years but I did.
Hey @hereim5648, Just out of curiosity, have you taken advantage of our free mini course? We know times are tough and want to provide as much as we can to you free of charge. That's why we created this free mini course. It will teach you how to get your spouse back and give you a plan moving forward! You can get access to it directly by following this link:
your.marriagehelper.com/how-to-get-your-spouse-back-mini-course
Also, you may apply for a scholarship to attend our Solo Spouse Workshop online! We would love to see you in there. If this marriage doesn't work out, which we pray that it does, the workshop will teach you how to become the best version of yourself, if not in this marriage then the next relationship. But we believe there is always hope! Only you can decide when to stop standing. Please consider calling us cause there is always hope! 1 866 903 0990!
I dont want a divorce from my husband...but he thinks just because i walked out of the house i want divorce..we had great 4years of marriage..until my in laws got involved...i couldn't take the blame of taking their son away from them so i left..n here iam..5weeks away from him..he didnt even ask me to come back ..not even once...the whole family wants me to divorce now.
this is a sad one, how is it going? check my bio now
I don't blame him. I wouldn't take you back either.
I divorced my wife I wish I didn’t have to but I had to do it for myself. I still love her very much it wasn’t an easy thing to do. After we separated she hid where she is living from me and hardly had anything to do with me. We still texted every day and we dated a few times over the six months we were separated but for the most part she didn’t want to see me at all. That really broke my heart and I don’t really know if she was seeing someone else or what. Between not knowing what is going on/what she’s doing and having blowout fights because she’s asking me for money and I’m telling her no I pretty much decided that this toxic situation had to end.
Good for you, she’s taking advantage of you. I don’t believe in divorce but your wife has abandoned you to try to find someone “better,” while keeping you in limbo so she could have a cushion if she fails.
Smart decision there
I don't want to save a marriage with someone who doesn't want to be married to me
Then why click on the video and comment? Goofy
I have paid for the program once, but I would like more advice. I could tell how my situation went and what led to what is going on now.
My spouse has filed due to what she says is my refusal to agree to a separation which isn’t true. My 15 year old daughter wants this to happen due to our arguments which escalated regarding her through the past year or so. I am moving out hopefully temporarily and am scared it is the beginning of the end. She did say she’s not in a hurry and is keeping a sort of open mind
That sounds promising. Keep praying, ask God to show you how to change, and let God work on their heart.
Never move out.
I did not treat my husband well and he gave me plenty of chances now he wants me to leave. I don't want to be away from him. He says it's just a separation and we need time to work on ourselves, so we can be better for not just ourselves but each other and that nothing's over but I desperately so just want to be with him and not leave him.
Hey how did it go can you give any updates
I still am trying to learn what self love means or even feels like. I’ve been with my wife for 13 year since we were teenagers. We are now facing a divorce and I know it’s because I didn’t support her how she needed. But what is self love? How do you start to feel that?
I can recommend you to a man who helped me bring back my ex permanent he can also help you.......
@@ogechifaith4466 it’s okay. I’ve been going to therapy and decided I will be happier alone. It’s never just one persons fault and that’s how I felt. I do not feel that way anymore.
Don't give up. Marriage is from God. Do your best with God to stay together.
Me and my wife aren’t speaking right now for almost two months I don’t know if we getting a divorce I’m confuse
What ended up happening?
My husband want us to start the divorce. He also said he aleays will live me and he want us to have contact. I dont understand anything. I will focus on myself and he has to take the first step after the divorced is final. Nothing happend like cgeating or abuse and I always felt we have a good relationship. I losing my bestfriend and he was that for 14 years
My wife filed for divorce on December 18, 2021 but she has made it clear she doesn't want to start over and it came out of left field
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,l got help from a great man who brought us back together...
Update?
My wife told me that her therapist said I was a narcissist. I never met the therapist and I asked how she could diagnose me like that. She said she did and I was definitely a narcissist. I immediately scheduled an appointment with a therapist of my own so that I could fix my narcissism and be the best husband and father I could be. My therapist did a bunch of sessions with me and said that I was very well adjusted and not a narcissist at all. I told him I must be tricking you. I've been told I could be quite tricky. I asked him to dig deeper and to find the narcissism so that we could root it out. I wasn't kidding, if I have this horrible disease I want it gone. The problem is I have good relationships with lots of people and I have dozens of customers. I still get along with my mom and dad and I get along great with my kids. I was diagnosed by somebody that I've never even met and I did everything to address that diagnosis. To no avail. I'm divorced now and actually it's pretty peaceful.
My husband served me divorce papers almost a week ago. I don’t want this divorce. My husband is admit he is over this and he says he doesn’t love me. I have begged to go to counseling but he says no/ we have our first meeting before a judge this week and I’m desperate to keep my family together. We are really good except when we fight. I know I lose my temper easy and fight hard. I need help
It takes two to tango… could you no longer argue with him? Try reading Fascinating Womanhood? Learning how to de-escalate heated decisions works wonders .
He filed for divorce and is already with someone else. What are the odds?
wherr is the link for the free seminar
check my bio now 24 hours result
I've been married to the same man for over 36 years, come to find out he has had a fling with this woman he has finally got to have due to his cousin has died. Except for me being in the way.. He first wanted me to stay in the home so I wouldn't wind up in a trailer with hardly any money he says , he feels sorry for me. But in the meantime he's staying with her one night sleeping with her than coming home and I'm trying to fix my marriage and he says he still loves me but he loves her too! He believes you can love two woman.everyone tells me to divorce him, he has moved out of the home totally with her, buying her things and doing things with her and showing her he cares more for her than me.. I don't really want a divorce!!
Rebuke Jezebel who is controlling your husband. We wives supposedly the prayer warriors. Husband is the head of the family so the enemy will attack him first by using Jezebel.
Fight fight for your husband by reading Bible verses and fasting sister God bless 🙏🏻. In the name of Jesus Christ, God hates divorce
Great video & wise counsel -- thank you both. This helped me in a time of serious difficulty. God bless.
My marriage because I had low testosterone lacked intimacy. And she felt unwanted and unloved for years. Since I've returned my levels to normal. Now I want to be intimate with her. She says it's to late. Now she is sleeping with multiple partners and sleeping with others to fill that emotional hole. I feel responsible. I still want her back. But she is scared everything will go back to where it was before. What do I do?
My wife thinks that when I mess up, I have given up on her and want to go back to my addiction, which is not true. I am learning how to be a better person every day but she thinks I can just start the day as a different person without addiction.
How do I move forward when my wife's reasoning for disconnecting from the marriage is that she misses her freedom... and that she no longer wishes to compromise, just wants to be able to do whatever she wants, whenever she wants... I've already admitted my faults in the relationship that has caused her to re-evaluate her life choices, but she no longer wishes to discuss anything and "give up her freedom".
She recently experienced some deaths in her circle, as well as celebrating her 50th birthday milestone - she just kept mentioning I'm 50yrs old and have 20-30yrs left, I don't want to do this anymore.
This is a great discussion
thank you.
My partner has narcissistic tendencies & he with draws his love when angry. It feels
that he is trying to make me think and act like him. Often he corrects me
to the point of emotional blackmail. If I do not see a therapist then we will divorce.
I am sensitive and he resents my emotions. I am not sure how to handle this
situation.
See the therapist. If you are causing a problem in the marriage they will show you what to do and it will help your marriage tremendously.
If you are not the problem, the counselor will see that.
Most importantly is to pray and ask for guidance and for God to change you and open your spouse's heart.
PS my spouse also has narc tendencies (victim mentality for sure). I'm praying, working on me, and trusting God to work on them (that part is hard sometimes).
My wife (soon to be divorced) has NPD.
I have three children with my ex wife, I remarried but now we are separated, I made mistakes considering as an affair, I did not have ant physical contact with that woman but really affected my relationship with my wife when she looked a some picture I had in my phone, I regret it I want to work on me, to be a better man and save our marriage.
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,l got help from a great man who brought us back together...
I wish I get back with her, she said she doesn’t feel the same, and that every thing it’s over, I’m trying to let her go but in the process I’m hurting, I love And I want a second chance.
@@edwardjerez9162 who do you want back? Your first wife or your second marriage?
Yes im on track this is reguards to my movie time, usally i do watch one ovie pic as a treat to ent my mind, at the end of modules the learning and ent and ive learned think and ent in the mind with out words are both diffrent thing out of all thjis....
Good points to work on yourself but seems like the spouse is not supposed to do any work but just watch the other spouse..
the point too some thing in subject then the treat part after
I have four topic that i watch for about few monthg then half threw i noticed that on my behavior in th emoind and sattetion my need my want then my desire cause my treamnet in the mind effct that desire and that effect my desire to want ot choose some thing the study the treat that what ive learned too
My husband's secret lover says that he's married. So, fighting for my marriage sounds backward to me. What would Beaver's mom do?
43 years and one dead child.. we have drifted apart.. he had affair 2011.. child loss and divorce common?
Anyone care to chime in?
I understand the concepts, they make sense. But how does someone do this when they feel deeply betrayed? Ive tried so much these last years, all kinds of initiatives to learn about relationships and invest in each other. With a few exceptions there was always resistance from my wife. She has let go of most of her christian believes (and principles of caring for others) in the process. Her anouncement of divorce a few weeks ago feels like a stab in the heart. Id like to be nice and invoke feelings of friendship but just being near her makes me so sad and angry i can hardly function. If it were just me i think i could deal with it but since there are two amazing young boys involved i take this extremely personal.
Hi, I'm sorry to hear that. I think it's natural to feel that sadness and anger, I think it's your hurt for what is going to be lost, and the lack of thought you might perceive on behalf of your wife. I'd say in addition to the video tips, I'd first try forgiving her, as hard as it may be, pray for God to help you in forgiving her.
I think in spite of the pain, try to delve into your Bible, since you seem to be a Christian. God heals hurts and gives us peace that surpasses all understanding. From that point its likely that the changes that take effect in your life from those things will be seen by her, and she may probably remember what she is risking losing. Live your life as best as you can, showing her love, but no pressure...just keep praying, but don't lose your joy. Hope this helps.🙌.
My husband has also been playing around with the idea of divorce since I tried to enforce healthy boundaries, and refuses my request for counseling also...I'm praying and standing on God's Word.
@@kissiwilson2948 thank you, I really appreciate that. Tough to not feel overwhelmed by it all. It seems everything I care for in life is over now.....with the exception of our boys but even them I can't raise anymore in the way I wanted to (as a safe family unit).
You're welcome. Yes, I agree fully, it's very difficult and can indeed be overwhelming. I know this first hand - the fear, uncertainty, feeling of desertion mixed with anger can definitely kick in for me also. But I believe the fact that she's abandoning her Christian principles is a sign that you're in a clear spiritual fight for your family. Once you have forgiven her genuinely, just keep praying and let God do the rest. You can only control you.
But in the meantime maybe join a bible study group, book club or pick up running etc to get the frustration out. Keep speaking into your life what you're praying to God for. Blessings.
My husband left me and he won't tell me why and now he says he want a divorce but I don't want a divorce ,he won't even talk to me and tell me why
As suggested in video, focus on big picture. Myself, I had to realize communication was our issue. I needed to change. We were in a rut. Funny, I read the Bible each day. I put similar focus each day in better communication and focus on our relationship, were back on track
I'm sending you positive vibes and strength. Stay busy and be amongst other people.
On the you tube module and movie
Well
well i have that wraped up in boared, cause i really dont too many inmate way to fell think by way of fact i have a good family and they only want to do this stpe and to them i have had a very simple li=fe easy to fit etcetc AND YES i idid " I have it wraped up in boared" back to my topic
on the module I add to topic one more topic on a friday to learn, "why do i like to gamble with my life" the next topic is on a saturday ted x " over coming boundaires" for the next threew week and yes i do have hit list with then the movie after usally yes I do have a forhead idea to jot down but thta probley too much for what ever that beast burden prbley me to get put of the way andf i knw it not me i knw me from me ok
That's why even though painful things has happen. You have to divorce in a peaceful and respectful manner, maybe one day things will get better after both of you rectify your mistakes.
No
León panetta turned marriage Counslor 😮
What do you do when your wife has already checked out of the marriage and started talking to someone else?
@Gerald I'm sorry you're in this spot. This was the first Marriage Helper podcast I listened to. I wasn't sure where to start and this seemed to make sense. Today I volunteer with Marriage Helper. marriagehelper.com/first-step-podcast/
@@ryanbates7259 update she's pregnant with his kids
Sorry to hear this. Run to God
Is she pregnant with your child or this other guy?
@@geraldbannan434 I'm very sorry for this. I can't imagine how it's affecting you. You're better than her and I believe you know you are. I hope you're doing good and if you need someone to talk to, I'm here for you
yes i remeber you tube related a kosher comment not vent or for attetion they got warm loines fpor that yayaya got it
My wife of eight years wants to separate. She wants kids but I don't. No saving this marriage at this point.
18:02 Caro kick rocks
Divorce can be like peeling back layers of an onion, revealing all sorts of surprises. I never realized just how important firms like *Usespy* are in helping folks navigate through the mess. It's like having a guiding light in the darkness.........
Just not to get married
No
Yes
LOL, I am so tired of the word narcissist
Hahaha non moi je m'en doutais d'avoir ou pas ça ne me dérange même pas ok ça ne m'étonne pas je suis vraiment bien avec
Mr. Friedman i have the utmost respect for you and your work but i think your reccomendation on this topic is wrong. I kist cant accept its either my fault or in my hands to fix it. For me its about perspective and attitude. I will not be taking your advice this one time.
Please, i want to safe my marriage life but my husband is so much hurry to get divorce, he already filed for separation and after that divorce. But i still want to stay with because i love him so much. Please Please help me, what should i do ?
How are things going? I’m fighting for my wife. She is now not answering my calls
Same situation for me as well. My partner found a new affair and so much hurry to get divorce done. 😩
@@love-cs8iw I’m so sorry to hear that. How are you doing overall?
You can't save it. The reality is that there's too much out there now.
Hey here is not to destroy your marriage put your ego away and listen before your spouse decides to divorce you if it’s there already kick rocks you deserve it
How about when the spouse takes child and secretly retains an attorney and opens a dissolution case and you only find out 30 days later bc documents were left on your door…. !?
I'm so sorry that happened. I don't know what to say. Take it to God is about all I've got- that is so terrible what they did.
What do you do when your spouse wants an explanation and you simply fell out of love with them. Don't want to hurt him, rather have him think I'm a villain then tell him that. But he WANTS THEE reason. Smh..
Love is a choice
Love is a choice every day. If you do the things that you did when you were in the 'high, delirious phase' of love, you would see a change in your perspective I'm certain. Also hopefully you arent trying to keep your relationship in the honeymoon phase , but understand the need for it to mature .
@@kissiwilson2948 this is only effective when BOTH parties do it. Being the only one trying to keep the marriage alive wasn't reasonable. Being a one pony show wasn't cutting it. Being a single working mother while being married wasn't cutting it. It's equally important to know when to throw in the towel.
This is so crazy all of these people filing for divorce smh I wish it was more comments of working it out
You did I’m guessing good for you
All this talk about winning the woman back. If she don’t want you, let her go. I never hear about how much the woman needs to change. Women just tear families apart and blame the man. These desperate dudes gotta let it go. I get it. I been there, let her go!
Especially if she's already contacting another dude, that means she doesn't love you. And many guys are forcing to be with a woman who doesn't love them back.
"Spouse" that means men and women. Men and women damage marriages alike. Hope you heal from your experiences
What do you do if your husband want to divorce and you both have a son you stayef with him when he had nothing now he is better in life and he is leaving. He start to go out with a new girl and post her on his status
He even bring the girl with him twice when he came to pick my son up what can i do. He says i intertogat him because i ask him alot of question and need an answer
Rebuke the devil in Jesus name seek God and ask for restoration in your marriage in the name of Jesus
Maybe you shouldn’t have been a P.O.S kick rocks
Well, he wants to continue but, he doesn’t make efforts to fix it. No church, no counselor and no change in behaviors. I agree! Work in yourself first!
He flirts with women everywhere. The respect is gone!!! I am done!!!
The Bible says, “love trust all things”. Where is trust when the man is lustful???
My wife won't a divorce how can save my marriage
Yes you can save it alone 🙏🏽🙏🏽
My husband moved out and wanted a divorce, but I choose not to divorce, this is because he say our age Factor.... I m much older than him. Is there any hope we can back together... It just me try to stand up for our marriage...
@Victoria - yes, there is hope. marriagehelper.com/can-one-spouse-save-marriage/
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,l got help from a great man who brought us back together...
You look 20. Holy cow!
The area you seem to hope to appeal to is a reasonable being. You hope to get to the root of why a person is DETERMINED to trash the marriage at the expense of their partner. This fails to take into account marriage to a narcissist. This means that they would only return for as long as they are in control of the terms under which they can punish their partner by threatening to leave again. The result is that the high price of keeping this cold emotionless dictator in your life is to PERMANENTLY allow yourself to be a doormat with the outright knowledge that you will NEVER be able to do enough for them till the day you die
Trying to stay married to a woman who has decided to leave is a no win situation........let her go and move on with your life.
I got dumped and it enabled me to marry a wonderful woman that was my soul mate for 29 years until she passed away.......don't beat a dead horse, it's over.
Leaving is what the majority of women do, that's why the vast majority of divorces are instigated by women.....they get bored
easily and then the grass looks greener on the other side of the fence. Women are flighty by nature, and they are encouraged
to divorce you because they can cash in by getting half of your assets.
I never knew that the man married to has a wife and kids, just found out
Sorry you went through that situation. He wasn't honest. But you stay strong. You have your heart and honesty you went in with.
They are the worst kind
She is taking me for everything thing , and making so hard to see mine own child . Gi
Praying for you! Don’t give up hope!
thnal im off to see about my module anmd my movie im diotving th emovie all month long and no6t banswering my ohine until this coming monday
What happens if your wife moves out and look at you in the face and you can hook up with other women but she tells me she won't do that
My wife wants a divorce i don't she said she needs closure to this chapter of us,but that it doesn't mean we can't get back together i cheated and deeply regret it
Kick rocks
I and my house i and my husband Yosef Bihamta and our daughters we will serve God Jesus.
Happy for you and your family
Can you please help me out?
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,l got help from a great man who brought us back together...
yes my only needs are meet excet my mind set and complex towrds some areb really foewl too me that im very very discermintory too then yes im kinda but i do not soicial or prefre to talk to them okkk they aRE IN MY HEAD THAT WHY OK ETCETCETCETCETCM IM OFF BACK TOP MY LIFE AND ROUMNTI ANF HOBBIE
Complete BS
Back to the movie as the treat my idea on the topic the is as follows as a wat to follow and i do im inda stick about cause i have that welcome comfort etc you knbw with what i git nothe wat iam too me and only me im ok but to it them etcetcetc and yes not to there for that why the church does my sculpter my persaonal ok back to my plat list on the movie is as follows a comedy a drame a sci fi then what movie comes when i got and up to it ..... and latly no ok but oiam on yraCck ok
I got 7.5 bbc
Kick rocks