HOW TO TOALLY MENTALLY DETACH FROM A RELATIONSHIP by RC Blakes
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- Опубликовано: 17 мар 2024
- #rcblakes #queenology #lisa blakes
This RUclips video is a detailed discussion by RC Blakes on how to mentally detach from a toxic relationship. He talks about the concept of "soul ties" and the importance of breaking emotional attachments even after a physical breakup. The speaker emphasizes the need for a self-worth audit, anchoring oneself to a growth mindset, and reframing loneliness as an opportunity for personal growth. He draws parallels between solitude and spiritual growth, pointing out how times of loneliness can be a fertile ground for self-discovery and deeper connection with God. Blakes provides practical advice and affirmations to empower individuals to move forward from unhealthy relationships with strength and resilience. He shares personal stories and biblical references to illustrate his points, highlighting the importance of self-reflection and self-improvement in overcoming emotional attachments and achieving personal growth.
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1. Self worth audit.
2. Anchor yourself in a growth mindset.
3. Reframe the loneliness.
4. Take the occasion to actually define your needs.
5. Forgive and flourish.
6. Was this happiness or was this just comfort in familiarity?
7. Develop future oriented goals.
Thank you 🏆
❤❤❤
Thank you Pastor Blakes for the confirmation. God actually guided me through this process!!!
God bless you more coach rcblakes jr
Thank you. 🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾
LADIES „ be more in love with your future, than with your past” 🌺💐🌸
Very well said...hit my heart gently with colored flowered arrows !
🏹 💐 💐 💐 🏹
I needed to hear this.
Thanks~
Easy said for saying try saying I'm here for the hurting one I pray strength for you God did it for ME....❤❤❤
]9 p po😊l⁰😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊@@tammyevans5799
😊😊
"Don't look back, you're not going that way."
I thought that loneliness was going to be the death of me but I survived it through God’s grace.
I’m experiencing that now but it will pass
This type of breakup is a blessing IF we choose to see it.
A SELF WORTH AFFIRMATION “MY SELF WORTH IS NOT DEFINED BY MY RELATIONSHIP STATUS, I AM A VALUABLE AND COMPLETE PERSON ON MY OWN.. MY HAPPINESS AND SENSE OF SELF COMES FROM WITHIN ME AND NOT SOMEONE ELSE”
🫶🏾Yes🙏🏽🙌🏽🙏🏽🙌🏽
@jbreezecoleman I bought a Pendant with a similar Affirmation, it says All I Need is Withhn Me
Amen
Amen
That forgiveness is where I get stuck because even with friends I feel if you forgive them they got to be in your space to see it when I don't want no parts of being in their presence even church but I don't do hateful things like roll my eyes and spit on them or want to fight. I just stay out from round them and that's a problem
I don’t even know why I was still fighting for a dead relationship, I didn’t even have any good memory to hold onto in that relationship .
The most important is not to blame yourself. It is a long process of healing. But its essential that you move away from the guy and stay away. I made the mistake of trying to come back several times. Its like rubbing salt on a wound.
Same here I just want to let go it's so hard don't have the strength yet
@@user-og9zs2vg2p it takes time. Be kind to yourself
Don't be hard on yourself. It is very difficult. Your self-love and self-worth trumps all. Remember you are # 1. Once you affirm your self-worth, you'll feel so good. Won't need validation , only for/from yourself. Good luck sweetie....
SAME!! I reflect on the deadend relationship and ask myself what am I really holding on to? There was nothing really great going on, no memorable experiences or events. It's embarrassing to even think about.
I start the detachment process long before I physically walk away! It's a very effective self - love tool I taught myself when I decided to leave a marriage to an abusive narcissist years ago. I never looked back! Ladies, know your worth! ❤
I’m going to try this
I understand the tool 2017 still loving my peace seasoned serenity joy forever giving the most high thanks for saving me.❤ ❤❤❤
I agree I do this as well. This process allows me to close the door and continue on with my life.
The sound of loneliness is silence and in silence we can hear God the best.
I watched a video by you about 6 years ago and was able to leave my toxic abusive ex.
Amen hallelujah 🙌🏽 🙏🏽 👏🏽 🤗
Do you remember the name of the video?
@@shatajshinabrock168099% of his videos are dedicated to empowering women to leave a toxic Man. You don’t need to find a particular title to a particular video if you actually listening
Amen!!!
Good for you! 👍🏾
When you value yourself , others will value you. Myself worth is not predicated on another person's perception of who they think I am. Hallelujah!
Truer words have never been spoken !
I have detached already or else i would have gone insane and go into mental health facility....i am going to listen to this episode to learn more......
Proud of you. Peace is yours!
I definitely understand it felt like coming off crack for me
Almost 3 yrs now since my last relationship. I told them to leave. I'm glad I did. Staying single now.
Same ❤ we got this !😢❤🎉 heal selfcare journal and pray
Same
Thank you for addressing loneliness. I'm traveling and going to concerts alone rather than being bunched up with friends. I enjoy alone time during my hard, lonesome time. I'm also focusing on starting some businesses.
Solitude is a divine opportunity for growth!
Some people just don’t know how to be by themselves. But it is so important! It allows you to discover and become aware of who you are.
I’ve definitely let him go. My mind knows better but I need my heart to catch up 😊
I always say this, it’s my feet that are moving, but my heart is not
This 💪🏼
I’m so Grateful I’ve been delivered from such an abusive, narcissistic marriage. When I reflect, I go into a Hallelujah shout! Look what great thing GOD has done for me! My Xhusband was undeserving of me.
Completely understand. That's where I'm at as well 🙌🙌
I want that victory shout that you have. Please keep me in your prayers. I'm leaning on the Lord for my strength.
I wasn't married, but I was in a 5-year relationship with a liar, cheater, and narcissist. He cheated with two other women. He betrayed me and hurt me. I feel pain, yall. With the help of my heavenly father, I know that I will make it through. Keep me in your prayers.
Hunni I know you are right. I thank God often.
“FORGIVENESS IS AN ACT OF SELF EMPOWERMENT “
I am still dealing with total detachment from an ex. I don’t understand why I’m still mentally attached to this guy. It really sucks 😢💔 His mission was accomplished. Help me Lord 🙏🏽
I understand completely, and I just prayed for you as I am in the same boat. Father God, help us both and keep us close to You. Amen.
The fact that you are here with us,shows you the The Lord us helping you.
We BIND those ungodly soul ties in JESUS NAME!!!
Narc daily on youtube
Seek God, Binge watch RC videos and you won’t go back. I’m commenting a month later but I pray you are still on your healing journey!! 🙏🏾
I can't wait. I am going a time of letting go. He almost killed me. I have to let the love go and move on. I miss him but I have to remember that he is my enemy.
Wow you sound like me missing someone who was cruel to me .we have empathy even when hurt but we can't waste it on people who want to destroy us and thus no one can be helped by us caring healers of the world 😢we must go no contact
Yup
Yes indeed you need too pray hard and ask God to step in the mist of it all and trust me it would get better remove yourself
You are worth your life and time heal all wounds I’m having a hard time healing ❤️🩹 it’s been 8 months
I wasn't married to my ex but I spent 12 years of my life with a selfish human being OMG .As much As I love him and care ..I just walked away I was definitely tired of all his foolish stuff..I don't get even...I just let him set right there and feel his pain forever...I'm not going back...Im not mad, I'm just done...I need healing and deliverance frm God....I'm working on me now
Yes. EVERYONE LETS LIKE AND SHARE YALL! This man of GOD has truly blessed us in the Kingdom!! ❤
This is very hard for me. But in my heart I know it’s the right thing.
Let me tell ya 😁. YOU will never be more happier in your life the minute you decide to step out and realize you are above garbage 🗑️ the feeling of freedom will activate in you and this is a time to go celebrate yourself because you just climbed to a higher level of self respect and self love .God bless you 😇❤️
I feel the same way❤
@@heatherbzdawka3350i wish you were here so we could go out, have fun and forget these demons. I have cried enough for two days now and finally have accepted my fate that he is not into me, he loves someone else and used me only for Sex😢
I feel the same way.
Stay encouraged. This too shall pass.
The Holy Grail "self closure" to the end of a heartbreaking elationship. Especially, when you're still in-love with him or her. I await this one....patiently. Pastor Blakes speaks with such profound, priceless and valuable wisdom and he speaks in truth! 👑♥️🙏🏾
Pastor Blakes, thank you for being my pastor and for changing my life for the better.🌸
The “She” (Queenology) theme is EVERYTHING! 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
EVERYTHING!!🔥🔥
Everything!!🔥🔥
I’ve learned to look at the benefits of singleness. There’s so much peace in singleness and I’m enjoying the benefit of learning about me and working on me. I had already began seeing my accomplishments as a connection to my self esteem. I’ve accomplished so much. But, the Lord has given me new goals. He showed me that if I focus on my goals, I don’t have time for TV, less known a relationship.
This is uncanny. That you should speak on this subject tonight of all nights! I am literally going out of my mind at this very moment, having broken my “no contact” and now having to deal with the fact that I am back in the same situation ship. I am having such a difficult time letting go of him. Even while I know it’s not good for me, I made contact with him again. I need help to detach once and for all
Same here!!! I fell for the bait again. But I’m about to wiggle off the hook and pray the Lord breaks these chains… blessings to you and everyone
story of my life 😢 Soul ties are truly demonic.. It's just crazy how You know someone is not good for you but you can't let them go. May God help us to detach... coz it's not easy. Holy spirit please take control and set us free. 🙏
My God! I too have broken no contact. I’m praying for strength
They lose whatever respect they have left for you every time you go back to them. When you don't establish and MAINTAIN boundaries they view you as a SUCKER TO BE USED.
Ladies we have to GO THROUGH THE PAIN .. Sit in it and it will pass .. I’m not 100% there but that hard part is over and it was very bad for me going through it .. Never thought it would end and it’s only been 1 year .. But I SAT in my pain … not easy but keep fighting please 🙏🏾 . No social media, I moved, or if you can’t move change your routine.. RUclips learning about what I went through and my bible helped me tremendously
PASTOR BLAKES YOU HAVE TRULY BEEN A BLESSING TO THE WHOLE WORLD THESE TEACHINGS HAVE HELPED SAVED MY LIFE AND HEALED PARTS OF MY LIFE AND IM GETTING STRONGER AND BETTER EACH DAY LOVE YOU AND THE FIRST LADY SO MUCH SEE YOU AT THE TOP
Thank you for sharing this with me. 🙏🏽♥️😊
1) Self-worth audit. Take inventory of your self-esteem levels.
2) Anchor yourself to a growth mindset; reset your thoughts. 'What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger.' Be strengthened in your 'new normal.' Romans 8:28
3) Reframe the lonliness. Learn about yourself and your own interests during this period. It (lonliness) may be a Divine opportunity for growth. Mark 1:35, Deut 31:6 Embrace solitude.
4) Take the occasion to define your needs in your relationships. Establish and enforce boundaries. Proverbs 4:23
5) Forgive and flourish. Let it go. It will free up space in your soul emotionally. Colossians 3:13
6) Ask yourself "Was this happiness or familiarity?" Familiarity can be comforting confusion. Jerimiah 29:11
7) Develop 'future' oriented goals for yourself. Where are you going? Envision a positive scenario for yourself.
I've enjoyed this session of teaching. Thank you, Bishop!
Thank you
Thank you
Thank you a lot for putting all the points. Wonderful job. I really appreciate it 😊😊
@@nakakuava1361
You're welcome 😊
Thank you very much
Turning pain into a path!!!!! The healing journey
#1. Do a self worth audit.
--Take inventory of your self esteem bank.
#2. Anchor yourself to a growth mindset.
--Shift from Lost love to Learning from the experience.
#3. Reframe the loneliness.
--Accept loneliness and attend to the values that make you more of who you truly are.
#4. Take the occasion to Define your Needs.
--What do you really need from a relationship?
#5. Forgive and Flourish (let go)
-- Let go of those things which you can not change.
#6. Ask yourself;
Was this Happiness?
Or
Was this only Comfort in familiarity?
--Differentiate between the fear of the unknown
And
What is best for your emotional well being.
#7. Develop future oriented Goals
--What are your Ambitions and Dreams?
I love the illustration of the person looking at the wreck in the rearview mirror and driving forward as a reminder of how we are supposed to view our dead relationships. ❤
I’m not attached to anyone, but it’s great for my future learning and lessons of life. Thank you, Dr. RC Blakes
This man knows what he’s talking about.
Detachment from all toxic and toxins sooooo very vital thank you in advance Sir.🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽
I bought the book. I cried and tossed and turned all night last night. Begging God to take away the pain, the feelings of low self-worth, to take away the thoughts of what if, to forget the man ever existed in my life. And then I decided to fast and only watch Christian videos. This popped up on my feed as soon as I got to RUclips. I needed to hear this, so that I can stop being a victim and find divine opportunities through this break up. It sucks because he used God and religion to manipulate me into being with him and staying with him for far too long--only to turn out to be a lying, deceiving, womanizer. My healing and deliverance is mine!
😢😢😢
I understand. Been through that and going through it currently.
Prayers to you sis 🙏🏽
You are divine and defined by God. ❤
Stay strong, you are not alone
It took me years to let go of my ex husband after our divorce, i had given him 20 years of my life with 3 children and I step daughter..I honestly didn't c it coming...Yes he did end up marrying another woman..it tore me apart mentally and emotionally...One thing he did ask of me before leaving out the door(That I would forgive him,it took awhile for me to forgive him but i did after 3 or 4 years but it still bother me everytime i seen him with someone else..so thank you Pastor Blakes for speaking on this subject 😇😇😇😇
I'm so sorry you had to go through such a horrible thing may God still remain with you throughout your life's journey. Love and light mama❤
It is sad to discover that such warped personalities do exist in an otherwise beautifully created world. But, it is what it is! As a former Aviator, one learns to control what is within one’s sphere of competence to control: SELF!!! As one who has endured the abuse of an extremely toxic marriage replete with all the classic components of a narcissistic spouse, I made the decision one night to detach and move on. It was painful after 32 years of marriage. I have grasped my new reality with tightly clenched fists and living freer, lighter and more purposeful. I did it, so can you!!! May you have clarity of thought as you decide your way forward. Blessings!
My experience, Precisely. TY for sharing...❤
Amen 🙏🏽
Never abandon yourself! ❤ God bless you sir. 🙏
Today I rededicated my life to god. He is in control I have been trying to write a story that already written and making a mess out of my life. Holding to relationships that have been over and living in fear of my god giving talents. Today I lay it at the feet of the father
Im glad i detached myself completely.
Thank You Lord Jesus For Freedom, Comfort and PEACE 🙌🏾♥️
THAT MENTAL RESIDUE IS STILL EFFECTIVE!🚨
Pastor Blake, may our GOD continue to bless you, your family, and your ministries. I live 500 plus miles away from you; however, your ministry has blessed me as if you're were a local pastor in my area. Your teachings have awakened my spirit to stop taking accountability for the negative behaviors of others who have abandoned, disrespected, and rejected me. Their behavior was not a reflection of me but their true character and warnings. This man was not sent by my GOD. GOD bless you, and thank you.
Pastor Blakes I would love to hear u speak in person,wow God knew what he was during when he brought u into our lives...God bless u ❤
This resonated so much with me. Sometimes I feel regretful about past relationships that didn’t work out. Even relationships from 25 years ago…
I need this badly .
Greetings everyone, I just want to add my heartfelt thanks to pastor Blake's and his dear wife. Their message has been a lifeline and a game changer for me these past four years. I've only now been able to be on this platform waiting for my first live. Praise be to God!
Unhealthy soul tie is ruminating , rehashing, hilding on to personal items, replaying memories, replaying emotional memories, not moving on, isolating, etc etc. I have been asking the Lord to help me heal so i am not in bondage. I took on excessive responsibility when i never should of came to the rescue , and treated him like king. It was such a toxic , abusive relationship. I didnt even know how much i abandoned myself and lost myself and 2 years ago he died from an overdose. Its still teking time to detach and let him go because of rhe trauma bonding and coedepdndency. Im learning to live myself and trust myself and place God first. It does take a while to heal. I finislly am totally focused on my self care and allowing holy spirit to heal my heart.
Thanks to the Lord for your freedom 🙏
It takes a strong woman to choose better for yourself instead of remaining in a bad situation. I am so proud of you! You're story is soo victorious, and encouraging. Continue to stay strong and let God use you
Below are steps that I learned to keep me out of the wrong relationships when I noticed that I was choosing the wrong person over and over. When you have all the facts on paper, and everything is organized,that willl stop the negative emotions and thoughts, so you can get this under control. Thus, rumination ends. Self blame or even self medicating also fades. Trust me,you will feel much better. You can even start a worksheet on a relationship that you left before. This will help you to recognize patterns in relationships.
Narc daily utube
Without God & the teachings of RC Blakes I would not be where I am today
Wow!! I’m incredibly grateful RC Pastor Blake’s is dropping this video as the previous one on ‘Signs That A Man Is Grooming A Woman’ (limbo relationships as how it’s demonic) spoke exactly to my situation. I need to leave asap and begin mentally detaching ASAP. Thank you RC Blake’s for allowing The Holy Spirit to work through you, you are truly doing God’s work here 🙏🏾❤️
Thank you for this powerful video. Now I understand my self worth has been hit hard from an old relationship. 🙏🏼🙌🏼
I used to think I was a person who could easily detach from toxic relationships and look forward. I learned so much about myself these last few years, particularly due to narcissists in my life and being more alone with myself.
Now my relationship with God has grown even closer and I learned I have so much to learn about my mental/emotional growth. It's very humbling, yet I am grateful and look forward to waking up to His lovely lessons every day.
So, thank you, R.C. and Lisa. Because you're two of those who provide those lessons❣️
I humbly agree.
I came to know Christ in Australia🇦🇺 women convention in 2015 by reading a book, "Overcoming spiritual blindness" by James P. Gills MD. The veil was taken off my eyes. Heaven came through for me in my finances too, getting $25,000 monthly. I can now support God's work and give back to my community. God is absolutely more than enough!
Thanks to Cathie Wood
I Met Mrs Cathie Wood last year for the first time at a church program, where she greeted a friend of mine also a church member, and fortunately for me, we exchanged contact and got along. What God cannot do, doesn't exist" I truly believe this word 100 percent❤❤❤
Life is good when you have multiple streams of passive income. I'm so happy because It's good to have a trusted professional like Cathie Wood. I feel lazy whenever I receive my pay lol. Gradually paying off my loans now and looking forward to retirement!!
I have heard a lot of wonderful things about Cathie Wood on the news but didn't believe it until now. I'm definitely trying her out
I'll leave her info below this comment
Becoming a stronger person is possible with support like RC’s cool videos. I am liking these and the good content helpful vibes.
Grateful to be here. ❤🙏🏾♥️
Thank you so much for this! I want to move forward to what God has just for me.🙂
We have to do a Self worth Audit🙏🙏🙏thats true because I tried to hold on to a marriage that had ended
Many of us try to fill The space The Holy Spirit should inhibit with a human. We won't be as lonely if we allow the Holy Spirit to have his way with us. It took me over 40 years to realize that.
Amen 🙏
Amen 🙏🏽
Amen. I just detached 2 weeks ago and decided to dive deeply in God's spoken word. Now I find myself every time looking forward and can't wait to spend intimate time with my King Jesus. It's been hard but Jesus has given me strength through the Presence of His awareness to be comforted by His helper the "Holy Spirit"!
I am looking forward to this sir blakes! I try really hard to move on and stay busy, but cannot seem to escape at nighttime. i am having nightmares all the time nowadays😢 You always give me hope and perspective. Thank you in advance!! ❤
RECONNECT WITH MYSELF & MY OWN INTEREST!!
APRIL 16, 2024, second time watching just for a tune-up! Making sure I stand strong, and do not allow myself to fall into that OLD SUNKEN HOLE. Thank God for deliverance 🙏🏾💜
The hardest thing for me to move on mentally is trying to figure out what went wrong after this man promised to love me and my boys from the very beginning, and then two years later decided it was too much of a sacrifice to be all in committed with a marriage and walked away. The mental confusion torments me of why he walked away after saying what he said, investing the time he spent and love he claimed he had..
LOOK AT DEEDS way more than words …. thus the person’s true character is on display. 🧐
Now that scares the crap out of me so I just don't get to close. Sad either way. Grounding and sniffing frankincense oil are 2 things that help keep emotions balanced. Maybe it can help you. Take care and hope you feel better
GOD have taught me so good on how to detach from people. Sometimes I forget I have children. Some men’s will walk up to me and ask me how I am doing. I say who are you. We were classmates in high school. We dated I will say old ok. My ex-husband spoke to me one day I said who are you. He said I’m your ex-husband. I said sorry 0:00. GOD is the only one no matter how I try to detach myself I can’t
This!
No joke, I prayed for this kind of detachment last night. Thank you for confirming it’s possible. 😂
I was guilty of settling for my Xhusband but no longer. What was meant to destroy me, I ran to GOD and He delivered me. I would not be healed and have learned lessons from this marriage if GOD had not been here helped me. I forgave him. And I choose to walk in forgiveness and love daily. Thank GOD for JESUS who redeemed me and can do the same for you.
My sister your words are beautiful. The same thing happened to me. JESUS helped me to stop being lonely! GOD Bless u!!!
Amen Pastor! 👋🏾🙏🏿♥️ Being alone does not equal loneliness if you are living a fulfilling life and maintaining positive connections with family, friends & community.
2. ANCHOR YOURSELF TO A GROWTH MINDSET
I work on this everyday. It’s hard work!
Hi Pastor. This was wonderful. I loved how you used a variety of scenarios and how each woman handled her new life without her partner. I also appreciated your acknowledgement of the mental fallout of a bad situation and the stronghold it can create.
Pray for me as I’m fighting an unseen enemy 😓😣
My ex was toxic and basically using me (by feeding me lies and stringing me along) He broke things off, 4 days before my bday nd shortly after celebrating an anniversary. In hindsight I realize, it was all for the best bc I had become attach/codependent of this person.
In listening to your videos/lessons I see that it was my low self esteem/confidence that was holding on to an unhealthy person/relationship.
Although we broke up in October ‘23 I can’t stop thinking about him and the fact that we’re neighbors, makes things that much harder.
He has already move on nd I have to deal with the pain of seeing him parading around with his “new lover” while I’m still dealing with my broken heart , trying to get over him, heal and keep moving on. 😢
I pray to God to help me growth through this nd become stronger nd wiser. So I don’t keep making the same mistakes bc I feel broken n damage n I’m tired of hurting 😔😞😭😭😓😓
Can't wait to listen to what my Dad needs to say!❤
The art of not giving a cahoot! Learn it , it will help you to move on quick!
The timing of this is incredible and a blessing! Thank you
I needed this more than you could ever imagine. Prosperity Abundance Wealth Health Light Love Change and peace of mind for you❤
We appreciate you and Lady Lisa Blakes.
Looking forward to this video ... great timing. Thank you ❤️❤️
Thank you for this. I took lots of notes, and am aware that I pretty much score a 0 on all 7 of your points. That’s ok. When you’re at the bottom, all you can do is go up…that’s how I see it. Thanks for a road map of how to get my life on the right track. Each of your points will take a lot of work and research and time, and that’s ok. God bless you for your work 🙏🏻
Thank you, both!! MIC DROP🎤
I have a soul tie right now , it’s so difficult and I’m not sure why I even crave this man
This is right on time!!Thank you ❤
You’re The Best Uncle Pastor Blakes 😢 Teach !!! 👏🏽
Let’s go pastor Blake’s!!! I never miss one video from you
I remember feeling lonely, phew so happy I am past that emotion.
AN EMOTIONAL ENTANGLEMENT!🚨🚨
THIS!!!! This is authentic 💛 the new journey of healing!! 🗣🗣
Such an awesome message Pastor Blakes🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽
Thank you for your openness
This was so powerful! Thank you!
Thank u for existing ❤
Excellent teaching! Thank You! 🙏🏾
This topic was right on time. I needed this great video.
Yes, please take your time.
You're such a blessing to my life. Going through separation right now and I am forever grateful that I began listening to your teaching 3 years ago.
Tuned in and already ready for tonight’s sermon‼️‼️‼️
Every word this man speaks has so much power. He is very very eloquent
This is powerful!!! Thank you I needed this ❤🙏🏾
Such a blessing to hear your daily messages. Peace and blessings to you and everyone.
Blessed Monday night Bishop, 1st lady Lisa Blakes, and everyone ❤🙏 Greenville SC
Thank you so much, Pastor. Please know you are so appreciated.