Will they cheat again?
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- Опубликовано: 26 окт 2024
- HELPING YOU HEAL & THRIVE AFTER THEIR AFFAIR
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Will they cheat again?
This question plagues everyone who discovers their partner's affair. You have history with this person, you may have children and grandchildren together, you want to give them the benefit of the doubt. But, will they cheat again? Who can handle that type of pain more than once?
When you discover an affair you start to look at everything in your relationship as a lie, trust is shattered and your self-esteem tanks. Our emotions, anxiety and fears are all over the place, making it hard to clearly answer this question.
Once a cheater, always a cheater.
We have all heard this expression, but is there any truth to it? Does it apply to your partner? Everyone is different and everyone's situation is different, so we cannot answer this question for you. There are some clues to look for, however.
They blame you for their unhappiness
What? This is my fault? I am not enough? Seems crazy that we would believe that their unfaithfulness was our fault in any way, but someone likely to cheat again will lead you to believe that you were not meeting their needs, they are overly critical of you and are setting you up to fail. They are creating their reason to cheat again. You will notice that it's always someone else's fault, they are always the victim. Looking at their own actions doesn't happen because they are too busy blaming everyone else.
They are angry that you are still hurt or untrusting.
Dealing with the pain and grief of an affair is a very long process and can take years of hard work to recover. I like to think of it like this, if I intentionally did something that devastated my partner what would I do? Are you kidding me? I would do everything and anything to make it right. I would ask for forgiveness, I would go to counseling, I would give them my access to all of my accounts, I would be transparent about where I was going and who I would be with, I would answer all of their questions honestly and I would have endless patience with their needs. Right? I would do all of this because I was truly sorry. You would too. Cheaters who are mad that you are still upset a month, a year, 3 years later are not putting your need to heal in your way above themselves. That's what we want to see, the choice to love you where you are no matter what.
My girlfriend cheated on me 3 years ago and I'm still trying to heal believe it or not. She did it with a coworker who was married. Well long story short he went back to his wife so she came back to me. Deep down in my heart I feel like a 2nd choice and it feels terrible. I love this woman with all my heart and trying to move on with our relationship but whenever I ask her a question even in the past when it was fresh she never really would give me answers. She gets really frustrated and angry especially now if it comes up she yells at me and tells me to get the fuck over it and her telling me that is extremely painful. We have 2 children together and I am trying my best to raise my kids in a happy unbroken home. I just hope one day I can be happy as any man should be in their relationship. Thanks again
KFisher8287 God Bless you my brother. I am so sorry to hear about your circumstances, breaks my heart SO bad! Maybe because I am familiar with the feeling. I wish luck, love, and happiness! I hope you find Peace.
Your brother through God
Angel
Wow , that's my story too. It's so hard . Good luck with you being strong and powerful in life.
@@angelsd.o.s.e.andselfdevel8004 thank you brother God bless you as well. Hope all is well
@@shaneoconnell2994 you as well brother. Stay strong 💪
@@KFisher-un5fc I'm really sorry man just know your not alone on this... unfortunately I can relate and I honestly think about it everyday we also have a kid together its really tuff man I wish you nothing but the best. 🙏
If you’re here be strong and leave .
I always had his passwords etc but still he cheated. He told me I was his world and that he loved more than he had loved anyone before and yet he still cheated on me 🥺
cheat 101. remember they are master manipulators, and not normal people, so they take advantage and expect you to think in a normal way i.e. that if someone is caught doing wrong, normal people like you and me repent; the cheats regard their relationship as their priority.
Ya know. I understand that. I got burned. Twice. Painful? You betcha!
Something felt wrong after 6 years since he cheated before I was still listening to affair recovery help but something felt off. Two days ago, I listened to this message and realized he had become defensive about his phone. I walked to the family room, picked up his phone and headed for the bedroom. He chased me, I locked the door and stunned, I read the messages between him and his lover. He is remorseful but I don't know if I want to work on this anymore. But either way, thank you for helping to open my eyes
never let a cheat back, no matter how many websites tell you you can be `stronger then ever and heal the pain`. you can`t. they might fool you for a while, but it`s a ticking timer to when they do it again.
There is no guarantee they won’t cheat again all you can do is work on yourself and get help strengthening your “new marriage” my individual therapist reminded me that infidelity can happen in any relationship especially when communication wains and you become disconnected … I am choosing to work on my marriage because we still love each other very much … couples and individual therapists are helping us navigate this painful and challenging time … I am working on forgiving him as he is very remorseful and so patient with me 🤞🤞🤞
No No No. If they cheated on you tell them to get lost. Don't put up with the mother of all disrespect. For you guys, if you take back a cheating woman, she will lose respect for you and that will make her want to cheat even more.
Same with a man who cheats. If you forgive and allow him to stay/you stay, they take that as a sign of you being okay with whatever they come up with next. Also as a sign that you are gullible and weak. What little respect they had (or obviously didn't have since they already disrespected you) will only dissipate further because you are giving them more room to disrespect you even more.
Yo
😢
@ 4:29 🎉😢😮😅phoenixmode6909
My soon to be ex-husband left his phone in our apartment while he was walking our dog, which he did a lot. However, he had a burner phone that he kept on him at all times (while he had it) to communicate with another woman so please don't always be fooled. They know exactly what they're doing.
Yes they will absolutely cheat again, sometimes they never stop they just get sneaker, and still treat you horribly, cut em loose and move on
Thank you! I was feeling crazy since these are my expectations. This has been really valuable
The woman I had, dating and married, cheated on me with the same person.
My biggest regret was not leaving her right there and then.
Our marriage ended years ago, but now with a child involved.
Sorry to hear that. But good you Gained the strength to move forward. I definitely can understand , relate to the pain the impact. It beyond suxx but victims of this to stand up for ourselves and show how unacceptabke and intolerable cheating is.
We didn't split up because of her cheating again, just that we weren't getting along and got a little violent.
@crlaw75 understandable but I feel cheating or disrespect toxifies things so it (past cheating) probably didn't help with any tension or pain already caused. Well prayers and hopes for better days!
When that bond breaks-as in the case of an affair-it's traumatizing. The traumatized person experiences a biological reaction that resonates in their physical and emotional being. Often feeling devastated, you may not recognize this reaction in yourself. But it's trauma nonetheless. Nov 28, 2023
My partner cheated on me, he is still in contact and communication with the woman that he cheated on me with, he lies to me and makes excuses to visit her. Sounds like a red flag!
It is!!
Wtf are you still doing with him!!!!! Sheesh that's him opening his own door!!
Once a cheater always a cheater, don’t do the mistake I did dear ,the more u hope and stand clinging to your cheater the more your next pain it will be like I had and still suffering ,they are perfect lie story tellers ,don’t let him use you Wake Up !
Wake up like yesterday hurry up!!
Goooooo
if someone cheated for a long time , lets say 2 years or more , dont you think - that person will likely to cheat ?
Yes, she is promiscuous
It’s sad to see someone that’s already in a relationship to be looking for their next relationship
Thanks for the amazing video I appreciate you taking the time out of your day to help people like us
Everything you said is what my husband refuses to do for me. I've given up on him
Wow thank you so much! This has helped me! I didn't know what to ask or what to look for. Thankful for this time of reflection to make sound and clear judgements. Thank you!
Very very helpful advice Melissa. 🙏
My husband had a 2 year affair won’t answer any questions says nothing happpened or he can’t remember says he wasn’t attracted to her messages say something happened but he denies it. He now blames me says I didn’t respect him he won’t do any recovery work and if I ask questions he says he is tired of the same over and over. He now is back to watching porn and lying if he really wanted to fix things like he swears he would do something
Sounds like he has a porn addiction and might be stuck into a fantasy world.
you don`t owe a cheat a reconciliation, they have to work for it.
Do yourself a favor and leave! You don’t deserve that
Very helpful, thank you 🙏
Is there anyway to ever trust one again I have been with her 45 years and still can’t
People can make mistakes we are human after all.
One of the most haunting things I deal with is. My husband had an affair for almost a full year. In 2014. In 2020 I found it. Something woke me up at 2am and said check his phone. And for 2 whole weeks I was so sick to my stomach. Any way I found out about and many other things. But the the only question that is in my mind everyday. Is why he didn’t erase the messages he says he doesn’t know why. But it’s almost like he wanted me to find them. If I was to cheat and never have. I would erase them everyday. Why keep these for several years. It kills me
what if im willing to do whatever it takes but she wont even speak to me? and everytime i reach out it just pushes her further away. she kept saying when im ready i will let you know. we havent seen each other in 4 months
Thank you so much ,,, willka
Yes a tough question for a woman. They feel entitled to Everyman who comes their way
My girlfriend told me she cheated once but now i think its more then 1 time smh how can i figure out if she cheated more then once
Was very likely at the least an emotional affair long before physical. My rule of thumb is not to believe it. Women minimize everything.
Thats what my gf told me after i found out my 7 year old was not mines,its a lie
Polygraph. Ask if she will take one. Her answer will speak volumes
99,9% yes. The rest no. The rest are people who did a stupid thing once and then deeply regretted it. They are in for forgiveness. The 99,9% is greedy and wicked. Even sociopaths.
Your so right thank you so much for your perspective.
What if you are the only one who seems to be trying to fix the relationship? I am the only one to contact counseling. I confronted him and he says nothing.
I you find an answer let me know ☺️
Same here.
Same.
He refuses counseling saying he don't need it nor want it.
Blames me for his cheating, saying I didn't give enough hugs.
So I've been the past 3wks and he's going distant again. Now what's his excuse?
@@TiredMommait's obvious. He doesn't love you anymore. Leave sis❤
My wife recently cheated afte 4 years together we just had our first child and im still over seas
Mine just happened days ago my wife cheated on me several times with her lover severally even to the extent of sleeping with him in my house because i wasn't around
It was my daughter that called me and told me everything
She still went out with the guy the day after i confronted her
Now shes begging i should forgive her that she has already blocked the guy
When we were talking on video yesterday i told her to share her sreen and show me her blocklist she did and i saw she has already blocked him which she saved with babe😢
I love your videos thank u so much
Thanks for watching and letting me know. Knowing that it helps you heal is what drives me! Keep healing!
Very helpful. all the redflags are present. He cant just change.
you are amazing!
This is so accurate. She won't even greet me when she comes back. And she's not at all patient with me. It was one day where she looked sorry. Now we just ignore each other and I just drink a lot. But it's the different answers she gives everyday that kill me.
It's super hard but unless you can bear this, find the strength to get out. She sounds selfish, which is definitely a characteristic of a cheater. No one is flawless but when in a marriage or exclusive relationship, while we may struggle to figure out problems, each party knows that the unthinkable, and the biggest betrayed they can do is to cheat and they choose it anyway. So sorry this happened to you. I'm dealing with this myself with a man who I was to marry. But God and my intuition lead me find out. This is the last man I thought would be capable, especially having been cheated on a couple time In his past before his ex died from covid (before we met). Maybe he wasn't ready but he cheated on his ex wife when be was much younger but still. Anyway, stay strong. After being torn and indecisive, I'm deciding to tear away I still get angry and go off via text or call with him,but the more I realize he's still just prone to lying despite expressing great sympathy , it's just in his core. So..I'm out
How to knoe that this man will cheat again or not... If a man says bad about the person for this person he cheated you.. therr is a little bit chances that he will nit cheat you .. but the chances is less..
If she cheated on me is it ok to ask for access of her password and phone etc?
Yes
Yes, but good luck. Get ready for turning it around and saying see I knew you wouldn't trust me again. That kind of b.s. Instead of understanding your pain and doing what ever she needs to do to show you she only loves you!
Right cause they don't give a fuck about your feelings
@@jaskell2057 exactly they do not care all they care about is sex thas y bro just move on
I caught him cheating and he accused me of cheating! He said he never trusted me and that’s why he did it. Oh yes but…. At the last min he stopped and never had actual sex.
Thank you for the video.. but trust me its depends . When a man cheats even if he promised alot after showing hin red flag.. if he do alot of promises even promises in holy place believe me he will cheat again... And god will show you.
Yes.
What if she cheated on me with her Ex and they have a 10 year old daughter together. She left me for him after being with me 5 years. She left me for 7 months then came back saying it was a mistake. We started slow, just talking going hiking things like that. I asked why it didn't work again with her ex she said she was upset with me and would drop her daughter off and just go inside for dinner and it just happened, she said he hasn't changed he still likes other women too. So she is saying she loves me and treats me like her boyfriend again going out she touches me rubs me kisses me. I asked her if she had a fight with her ex or if shes mad at him hoping she would say yes. But she said no, nothing happened hes a good father and will help with what ever she needs for their daughter. They also talk every day about their daughter and continue to go to his house to pick her up and drop her off. He does the same at her place. SO my question is I'm afraid she will get upset with me again and do it again. Since she already did it and I came back. She knows she can. What do you think about her doing it again.? I'VE been seeing her again for 4 months again now. And if or when I ever bring it up she gets upset. I expect her to say Im so sorry I know it must of hurt you, and need time to trust me again! I would never do that again! Instead she says you keep talking about the past, she says that about everything I get upset about, even if it was just a day or two, she says bringing up the past. That drives me crazy! The past could be Yesterday!!!! She would say yes the past. I think she knows what shes doing trying to manipulate or gaslight me. But I dont know, she says it like she really believes that, and I'm the crazy one. Anyone that reads this please share your honest opinion what you think and what I should do please! I want to trust but, have many concerns and negative thoughts. Thank you... Shane
Break up with her dude. Cheaters always cheat and they make excused to justify their actions. Besides, I feel bad for their 10 year old daughter, imagine how confused she feels.
Shes crazy not you
She doesn’t sound very loving. Sounds like she is refusing to acknowledge that she made these choices and hurt you. She refuses to give you the proper support given it basically just happened. No one is in your relationship but you and her but she does owe you prolonged support. They all seem to believe that when we hear it once, it is done. She should not be doing exchanges in the house out of respect for you and given this literally just happened where the worst case scenario played out. Based on what you depicted, she will do it again, if not already doing it. Just my opinion, but respect yourself first. There are always good women out there. Never ever ever trust a person completely. We are all fallible. This screams shady as shit. Good luck
Please leave her. Just reading this has angered me. You are being used.
@sittikasou7659 The first of all Im just her boyfriend not her husband part was stupid and makes Zero sense, I was with her almost 6 years, living together, How do you think people get married? Because of trust and not being a Ho. I was married 14 years before her btw. Marriage is just a word and fairytale. Everything else you said I appreciated thanks She came back then cheated with another guy, then another Can't change a Ho.. Been couple years now , I'm doing great with "JUST"my new Girlfriend.
Yes it's in there character. A lot of "church" women cheat. Women can't pair bond the higher the body count. She's not your's it's just your turn.
Well my BM still lying .. so time to let her go and fight for the kids
Leave run leave!
Yes yes and yes. Once a cheater always a cheater . 😢
My gf Cheater on her ex should I be worry?
What if he’s stalking her
My husband cheated me while i was carrying our baby 7 month ..
Broken very much..
I went to depression..and should i take antidepressants? Or should i be
Strong enough to avoid such thoughts..
If you need to take meds for a while you should
You can't be strong if he has the same behavior. Or it was never truly discussed and found the core reason and fix it. . You can only heal by start a new honest relationship with him or leave him to heal. Don't feel something is wrong after months or even a year or two. That's how long it takes to get over a love one that has betrayed you. Be strong love yourself and be happy. That's your only choice for a good life.
@@anushreyakarir ahh wahtttt
Be strong
So my ex she got cheated on because she cheated on me and then went back with her ex and then she got cheated on by her ex and her friends told me that she likes me and I'm not sure if she's going to cheat again cuz she got cheated on so I don't know
if she cheats, she belong to the streets. move on sir, she will cheat again
@@gelcoliva6314 thank you
Probably.
have u been cheated on before ma'am?
My birthday is 6/13 and I'm the 613 like 👍🏿👍.... I'm going to try to say this clean as possible.. a man should never forgive a woman for cheating.. simply because the day after he found out she cheated did he figure out a way to last longer in bed? did his penis grow or a few inches in either direction? NO!!! And if she says she cheated because she was bored and lonely that doesn't explain why she DELIBERATELY went to or found a man that would have sex with her😂 she could have went to a female friends house...her families house...but she didn't!! If a woman cheats on a man it's something about him and his penis she does not like.. and after he found out she cheated nothing improved about him or his penis...of course she's going to cheat again ... trust me 😂🤣
🤯
The volume is too low
I just found out my wife cheated on me on a girl's vacation while I watch the kids send her money for she cud have a nice vacation then they got stranded I pay for their plane tickets to find out now after I got married the she cheated on me and never told me nothing in till months after I got married broke my heart to peaces and I am just broken bad don't know what to due I am going crazy😢
So sorry Jose. That's very hard/difficult. To be honest id let her initiate wanting to reconcile or leave her alone/divorce. Some ppl are just trifling. They know they have a good person or partner, spouse, etc. But they are just dirty or damaged. It suxx. But wish you well. Take your time.
Yes.