Hey guys hope this was helpful! Leave me a comment with your thoughts? Be sure to check out my brand new masterclass on the 5 Proven Steps to Rebuilding Your Relationship/Marriage. (Warning: Spots are limited) 💪 Here is the link to the MASTERCLASS! -> relationshipsmastered.com/masterclass 🎁 Download the FREE GUIDE! -> relationshipsmastered.com/healing-partner-emotions 🗣 Join the FB Group! -> facebook.com/groups/1032426806961329/
I have fallen out of love. I feel I am being lied to. I have lied in this relationship, but i came clean. This is the best resource I have found for problems that arrise in relationships. You are solid. I really appreciate your work here. I may never reenter intimacy with that person but this channel will for sure help me moving forward. I want to support your work
Hi, I am in the masterclass and has dawned to me today that i have used a lot of logic previously to persuade her back into a relationship. I believe i need to start having more fun with her. We have a great open relationship, but she still is seeing other people. She says she loves me but not in love with me (she said she loves me like a relative i.e. non romantic). I guess this means, that she knows what she should do but i haven't emotionally given feelings of love and that nice feeling. Do you have a video on this?
Been with my wife for 27 yrs. Recently told me she's not happy n fell out of love. She also has been chatting with someone from facebook for a few months and fell in love with what he's telling her. I love her n want for us to grow old together. I've been trying hard and she says she is trying as well, but she still talking to the guy. I'm lost and not sure what to do.
This really hits home, my partner of 5 years has decided to take a break. In the beginning I made all the mistakes of begging and pleading, and it didn’t make the situation any better. I am now trying to come to terms and give her the space that she needs. Watching these videos has really helped shift my mindset. Hopefully I can get her back one day
Hey Jarrod! You don't have to hope! Have you joined our masterclass by any chance? I am sure it will give you so much more clairty and hope: relationshipsmastered.com/masterclass
Same, married 8 years together 9, I kept messing up until I found Geoff, we're trying now, I got to say "I love you TOO" today for the first time in a while. Thank you so much For these!
I appreciate everything you say. It hits hard. My wife of 19 years told me she wants a seperation and moved out. Working hard on me and being better. You make it so simple. Thank you sir.
You really are spot on with your advice on handling women in these situations. Neediness and manipulation is really counter productive. It just keeps pushing us away. Relationships take work. I also agree very much with you on the “emotional safety”. It’s hard to get that back. To trust that person again cause your guard is up all the time especially if it’s gone on for years.
Very good take from a female perspective. All that said depends on if the female is worth the effort and commitment. An evaluation of what she offers is very important in the short, mid and long-term
The ONLY solution, if you want your wife back is to 100% focus on your growth, 100% own up to how you hurt her, and get to work. Do not chase her or you’ll lose her!! Just become so freaking amazing that she’s a total fool to leave. Show by your actions and demeanor and don’t waste your breath “explaining” your changes
Two the same sentence but different meaning and feeling... World’s most beautiful sentence ... but I love you... world’s most painful sentence ... I love you, but.... 🥺🥺🥺
This is EXACTLY what I am going through right now. My fiance said "I love You" but I am "Not in Love with You". I made my share of mistakes. She asked me to change some things on more than one occasion, and I blew it off by my own selfishness. I don't want to lose her, we still live together, but as she says it feels more like "roommates". She has said "I am not innocent in this", and "I am wrong too" but when asked what specifically I get no answer other than "It's not because of someone else" But I have seen her follow exotic dancers on social media platforms, while there was no intimacy from her which made me think "Is my body not good enough"? I am just so confused as to how this will turn out. We have been together 3 1/2 years, engaged ironically would have been 1 yr ago on Thanksgiving. I am glad I found your videos, cause it does feel hopeless, I feel worthless cause I didn't make the changes like being a better listener / communicator as many times as she said if it didn't change this would be the result. Do I just need to give her that 'space', let her "calm down"? I mean I hugged her this morning before work, and we just kissed each other 2 nights ago, so I firmly believe the love is still there??
Jim - Join my masterclass and understand the 3 levels of change you need to make yourself irreplaceable so that you no longer have to ask this question.
Hi Jim, how are things going? I just got the “I love you but I am not in love with you” from my Wife of 22 years. I can’t deny I feel the same. I just feel we are worth fighting for and work on things. No one is perfect, and all relationship require some work. So to me, it makes more sense to make things work with her. Some friends tell me to just replace her for a woman half her age. But that’s not what I want.
Thank you Geoffrey for breaking down that saying. I've spent the last 5 months trying to figure out what my wife meant when she said that before she left. 5 months to no avail and this video made so much sense.
This hits so so close to home. I’ve been with my wife almost 9 years married but 14 as a couple…. We have 2 kids (5 and 8 ), and I just got the “I love you but I’m not in love anymore”. It hit me life a freight train and I went down the same path (pleading, promising change) problem is we traveled this road 9 years ago and I fell into the same routine after a few months so she doesn’t believe me. She just suppressed her emotions and finally come to a head. I’m lost, lonely and scared.
I think the main takeaway is basically that u cannot show you are loving and caring by saying your loving and caring that’s a logical appeal but by actually just being loving and caring . Actions appeal more to emotions
I'm confused I mean I've always thought love is a choice. If you choose to love some then you put them before yourself of course you can accomplish this in many way. Love - agape - is patient and kind; love is not envious or boastful or arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth. ... Love never ends”
Love isn't about putting others above yourself. You can't fully love someone until you can give them your true authentic self. And you can't do that until you learn to love yourself above others. Love in a romantic relationship (eros love) is a two way street. It requires more than a mere choice. It must also involve emotions
@@tedjemmott9567Romantic love is no different than any other love. Love comes when we put our time into something, it’s no different than someone pouring their time into their pets, car or garden. Where we put our effort is where our love follows. I think you’re confusing limerance or lust with love.
This hits home for me as I'm going thru this right now. I never quite healed my first marriage as wife had multiple affairs and I used alcohol to deal with my pain. That has now affected my 2nd marriage 8 years in. I have taken steps . The first was to quit drinking and now am 256 days sober. I was a bad drunk and have many regrets. I am wanting so much to save my marriage and learned a few months ago that I am anxious preoccupied and my wife is dismissive avoident. We are going thru couples counseling now and I am learning so much. Talk less, be supportive and consistent. I know it won't happen overnight but am learning to love myself again and hopefully I can save my marriage. Thank you for the video because she has said this to me and hit home because I was kinda confused on why she said it and what she meant by it.
@@markthomas2531 thank you the good news is we both want to continue with counseling and she is letting me show some affection with touch and is holding my hand while we sleep . She said last night that she is seeing a positive change in me but is really depressed and her heart is still cold and feels her life has been full of emotional abuse. I will continue to be consistent and pray she finds a new love for me.
@@MrAndres212able during the last year, she was having a secret affair I found out from her own side family. I kicked her out, and it's been 3 weeks so it still fresh. Part of me wants to work thru it but the other part says screw her. There is alot of emotions right now but she hurt me pretty bad that I don't think I can ever trust her again. I'm still sober and 1 year 76 days sober. My birthday is today so it's kind of a depressing one.
@@MrAndres212able found out about 1 month ago she had been having an affair the whole freaking time. She didn't think I would quit drinking as was a common problem I had. So it was a snowball from there. The sad thing is I'm still sober even after she had moved out 1 year 80 days lol. She's a Narrssisit and I had some tendency's to be one when I was drunk but when I quit drinking I am an Empath.. I still love her and she broke my heart but you cannot heal a narc. So I need to cut her out of my life completely. I have been trauma bonded and she thinks she is trauma bonded too. Two broken people and we're going to counceling seperstely and she's moved out. To fresh right now as emotions are up and down and trust has been shattered.
This is what I'm going through right now... I neglected her feelings for years and I felt like she would never tell me ta leave.. This is hitting too close to home... Excellent break down on what I failed to do for years
Luckily, I managed to get to that spot organically, as I knew as far as six months out that things needed to change. I am not a very assertive person and let my wife lead, but that put too much on her plate and she became overwhelmed. I had been trying to find the courage to tell her things needed to change, but she hit me with these words first. It allowed me the opening to say what I needed to say anyway.
Tired of fighting to get her back, she was devastated I wouldn’t be in her life anymore but I couldn’t sit on the sidelines watching her get with someone else. Maybe one day our paths will cross again. 22years is a long time in a relationship and nothing can be fixed overnight, so best to give space to both of us to move on.
Great Video my girlfriend of 6 years are going thru hardship mainly cause by my selfish behavior. As I begin my path watching your videos is helping me understand i cannot force her thought process it is hers and only hers. We do have 2 small children but her love and reason for being with me should not rest on the fact we have children it needs to be because she still loves me. Very stressful but i am locked into your channel. Thank you for giving me some hope that i can salvage my relationship down the line
Much of the time a woman will say one thing and act differently! She will change her view point when she realises that she can't replace you with anyone of your quality! Be the Alpha and put yourself first!
Thanks brother! If you found this valuable, we go so so much deeper in our relationships revival program. Feel free to check it out! ruclips.net/p/PLQ8tvyhQlPzsNm-vC_g_8SWGcJRngefgU
My husband told me this he says he deeply cares but it’s tired of all my crying for nothing getting home from work and just pointing fingers at him etc he says things will never change and that he is disappointed on not loving me the way I wanted him too 😢 he said my insecurities have to change
Thanks geoffrey, your videos, live question and answer, mastering classes have been incredibly helpful!!! You explain these challenges in a way which is easy to follow and pick up.
This vid is so helpful. Thank you. It has helped me so much recently. I'm working on improving myself after my bf asked for space. Of all the relationship advice out there this has been the most helpful. I know your advice is geared towards men in relationships but I find it helpful even when you flip the genders. I completely agree about logical v's emotional paradigm. That is what I'm dealing with right now. And your point about identity shifting is really helpful. It's been hard for me to make changes because I still have to work on shifting my identity.
@@GeoffreySetiawan Thank you! I'm really interested in tips on how to make that identity shift. Also how to stay hopeful when going through all this and it feels like your partner is going to keep resisting even when they are hovering. Vids on that stuff would be great.
Thank you, I am going through what this video is talking about and ybe past few days have been difficult since I heared those words. I have decided to give her space but have been struggling mentally and emotionally not knowing how to best respond to the situation.
I have a very good feeling that if I don’t work on myself tremendously over this break my girl and I are in, I will be hearing this. I am trying my best to show her I am changing, I’m not contacting her, I am getting out with new people, and even doing things she always wanted me to but I was too lazy and unmotivated to do.
Condensed it really means : you love your friends but you are not in love with them. Now copy paste this to your soon to be ex what she thinks about you.
I'm going through this at this time. My Daughter has my you tube acct. But this situation is very painful... I messed up on every aspect on what you mentioned. And can't give away 18 yrs..
What if you wife filled for Divorce 3 months ago… I’ve been changing, not sure if she’s in love with someone else. 2 kids 19 years of knowing each other, almost 14 married. I’m 40 and never been with anyone else but her in 19 years. I only have hopes of dreams, I made many mistakes that I wasn’t paying attention! To focus in the daily routine and in the future. Question is, if she file is she truly done, or what if she has someone else in her heart?
Just saw this after my girlfriend said that she doesn't like me and kept asking me to change but then I'll backslide after achieving it. 2 days ago, she said she want to break up with me as she knew I can't change and it's unfair for me to change to the guy that she want. I'll apply what you've shared here. 💯 Quick question: When I ask her to sit down and enjoy the popcorn while watch me change. What if she said no. Should I just move on or is she saying that because she knew I can never change?
Bro my girlfriend just told me that she's still in love with her baby dady... And she need some space to think what she she really needs. I don't know what to do because i love her so much... And i believed her when she told me that she over him when we started dating
I'm at a point where I'm just tired of her shit. I've given her every opportunity to stay or leave. I've put myself threw hell to change but I don't use that change for leverage. It's consistently the same old shit from her. I want her gone now. Giving someone the opportunity to leave but they stay to say the same shit over and over is torture.
Hey Rod, emotions can and do change with time. I see it happen every day with all my clients in my program. If you’d like to learn more about it, you can begin by joining our free masterclass here. relationshipsmastered.com/masterclass At the end of this masterclass, you will also get some information on how you can submit your application for the program. And in case you’re curious as to how life-changing this program is, or how it is MILES beyond what other programs can offer, check out the links below! Client Review Videos: ruclips.net/p/PLQ8tvyhQlPzsNm-vC_g_8SWGcJRngefgU Client Review Screenshots: drive.google.com/drive/folders/1Gp8UpRV9uMlFx763BfuQnEqN930FQb7b?usp=sharing
Listening to this and really taking it into consideration has opened my eyes and allowed me to practice new ways to do things that believe it or not she has already tried telling me before
Gzzz, now imagine adding adhd to this. Anyhow, this is like the script to what happened to me. Really really Great info! Really like the part about true power
I just find it annoying that they can easily talk to their friends about these things going on but then they dontvsay anything to us, and so we end up guessing all the time
12:27pm..4/22/23 My wife wanted space and freedom.. loves me but not in love with me. She spent the weekend with her girlfriend just to get away.. She never called to say that she’s ok, nor did I called her. I wanted her to have her space.
Hi Shema Tan, Yes, I can add this to my content calendar. But in the meantime if you have not checked out this video below, it will be worth the time investment. Very eye-opening. ruclips.net/video/mwsb1dtpO54/видео.html
My partner said on Monday she loves me but not in love. Then two days later said she is in love with me. The. Three days after that said shes not in love with me but loves me. Can’t imagine if us men say those things
Bro very awsome explanation. My opinion is. EACH school MUST and SHOULD give free courses to boys and girls in the puberty about how to communnicate the PROPER WAY to the opposit GENDER. It will spare a lot of trouble and probably it will avoid the high percentage of DIVORCES and collapsing relationships.
@@GeoffreySetiawan it’s the least I can do. Your advise has helped my marriage in so many ways. It’s also helped me to know myself better and how to improve. I cannot thank you enough. I have a ways to go but I’m excited for the future now that I am armed with the knowledge taught by you. Thank you again. I look forward to more videos in the future.
I really need your help !! My wife of 23 yrs is also like this … same words I’m so lost and confused… need help in a bad way I don’t want to lose her …
My current wife has said this at least twice a year for over 25 years. Because of it, I only give her 25% of my sexual power, but she claims I'm the best
@@GeoffreySetiawan my wife is still in the middle of divorcing me . So no new relationship. Just playing the waiting game since she told me it was a one sided relationship
Hey there I was just told this in august by my ex girlfriend. We were together for 10 years and have a 9 year old child together. I made the mistakes of telling her I am getting help to get better and that we really should try to go get help together to make this work with everything that we had. I did find out about 2 weeks later that she had been having a RP online relationship with a guy living halfway around the country since March. She is online with this guy now for about 7-10 hours a day. I love her to death and I feel like she has become addicted to the game to where she is thinking this guy really loves her. They have talked about meeting up and being in a long distance relationship but she wants to physically meet him first. Again I want to be with her and I think that she wants to be with me but she is just infatuated with this guy. I am slowly losing hope as we now have not really talked for about 2 weeks (again I was stupid and tried to beg and stuff a lot). Can anybody help me and tell me if I am just chasing a ghost now or can I still get the first love of my life back and back to who she was before this game?
She still loves you but you hurt her too much. That's okay just walk away. Unless you've both changed/healed it will be pointless to be with each other again!
I messed up my situation with my girlfriend and now she ended everything…wants to bring certain changes in me for now and wants us to be friends. Is there any hope that we could still get back together after some time? Or should I focus on just friendship part
Thanks any tips on how to talk to a woman who forget all the stuff they do wrong and say. But when you say one thing wrong they go crazy and a man always says sorry even if he knows he is not in the wrong. We say let's talk about it but still it's all her and then they walk of so we get upset men can't win
You are absolutely amazing you are going to fix mine and my finances relationship and make it better if he really listens to what your saying because I am and I see a lot I do wrong as well
And if she's said this exact phrase, and is now with another guy? We are friends, we have 2 kids together, she stays with him 98% of the time. It is almost 100% my fault. Could this still work? We talk every day.
Hi Mystic, There is always hope for things to work out… Once you have become the best version of yourself and mastered the right processes, it really doesn’t matter if she is already in a relationship. She will naturally gravitate towards the best person that can provide the safety and trust she needs.
What if the core of what you say is not the case? What if trust is not the problem but she keeps saying that because for example distance is a problem?
Hi Argyri, Of the 1000+ clients that join my program annually, all have seen massive results by simply following the right processes to rebuild trust & safety. It doesn’t matter how unique, difficult or dire the situation may seem in the beginning, once they shift the focus on doing the internal work and start to consistently show these changes externally that’s when there situation changes… If distance is a issue, then have a conversation to find a win-win solution or compromise… Have a look at our client testimonials to see how they have achieved massive success despite their situation… Client Review Videos: ruclips.net/p/PLQ8tvyhQlPzsNm-vC_g_8SWGcJRngefgU
I’m really liking these videos. The situation with my wife is very complicated due to her working out of town and other issues. But I still think they will be helpful.
Hi Alex Harper, Come check out many of my clients who once though their situation and stories were also unique. Come see how they stopped telling themselves this and started looking for the right answers. ruclips.net/p/PLQ8tvyhQlPzsNm-vC_g_8SWGcJRngefgU
A lot of them do, my last put me through it. Coming and going I didn’t think she was seeing other people but she definitely was. Just don’t be a victim. 💪
What if we’re already broken up and I’m in no contact the last 2 weeks broke up about 3 weeks ago. How do I go about this like reaching out or what will I do?
Going through this right now too. Any advice on how to connect emotionally during COVID and living as "roommates"?? I am working on me but doesn't seem to be helping our situation. Filing after the holidays even though I am not wanting to.
@@cjaso801 You should be doing deeper work than just those surface stuff my man. Join my masterclass and you'll get clear on the 3 levels of changes that actually matter.
I am experiencing the same thing... its just that i am the wife. My husband loves me but not the same way as before. No holdingg hands, no hugging. But he kiss me good night. And thats it. No making love for 2 years. Any thoughts on this Geoff? I always try to be positive yet there are times i cant handle it but cry.
WOW!! What a huge compliment, I am always encouraged when people can find my videos useful and start make changes in their lives in massive ways. Thank you David Kalyabulo.
Hi Swagat, If she is not open to meeting right now. Then this is the opportunity to continue working on becoming the best version of yourself so that you can show the massive changes when you do meet up.
Wish I found this sooner I came to this naturally after months of confusion cause I just didn't understand what she was saying. At the very least if we don't work out I know going forward this won't happen to me again
Exactly! You are spot on and you will be surprised when you approach things in this way just how much things can change. Don't take it from me, take is from my many clients who have learned this very lesson. ruclips.net/p/PLQ8tvyhQlPzsNm-vC_g_8SWGcJRngefgU
Hi henry thomas, Yes, the right and massive changes always has to be for ourselves or they will always feel cheap, nonpermanent, and will feel like they come with strings attached.
Hey guys hope this was helpful! Leave me a comment with your thoughts?
Be sure to check out my brand new masterclass on the 5 Proven Steps to Rebuilding Your Relationship/Marriage. (Warning: Spots are limited)
💪 Here is the link to the MASTERCLASS! -> relationshipsmastered.com/masterclass
🎁 Download the FREE GUIDE! -> relationshipsmastered.com/healing-partner-emotions
🗣 Join the FB Group! -> facebook.com/groups/1032426806961329/
Great insight very helpful.
I have fallen out of love. I feel I am being lied to. I have lied in this relationship, but i came clean. This is the best resource I have found for problems that arrise in relationships. You are solid. I really appreciate your work here. I may never reenter intimacy with that person but this channel will for sure help me moving forward. I want to support your work
How can i contact you?
Hi, I am in the masterclass and has dawned to me today that i have used a lot of logic previously to persuade her back into a relationship. I believe i need to start having more fun with her.
We have a great open relationship, but she still is seeing other people. She says she loves me but not in love with me (she said she loves me like a relative i.e. non romantic). I guess this means, that she knows what she should do but i haven't emotionally given feelings of love and that nice feeling.
Do you have a video on this?
Been with my wife for 27 yrs. Recently told me she's not happy n fell out of love. She also has been chatting with someone from facebook for a few months and fell in love with what he's telling her. I love her n want for us to grow old together. I've been trying hard and she says she is trying as well, but she still talking to the guy. I'm lost and not sure what to do.
This really hits home, my partner of 5 years has decided to take a break. In the beginning I made all the mistakes of begging and pleading, and it didn’t make the situation any better. I am now trying to come to terms and give her the space that she needs. Watching these videos has really helped shift my mindset. Hopefully I can get her back one day
Hey Jarrod! You don't have to hope! Have you joined our masterclass by any chance? I am sure it will give you so much more clairty and hope: relationshipsmastered.com/masterclass
Same, married 8 years together 9, I kept messing up until I found Geoff, we're trying now, I got to say "I love you TOO" today for the first time in a while. Thank you so much For these!
You will as long as you put God in it too put him first. Stay focused stay encouraged and be blessed
How’s it going now? I just heard this said to me a couple days ago
How did it go?
Even reading the title hurts 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺
Hope this video helped give some direction!
I appreciate everything you say. It hits hard. My wife of 19 years told me she wants a seperation and moved out. Working hard on me and being better. You make it so simple. Thank you sir.
How did it go beother
You really are spot on with your advice on handling women in these situations. Neediness and manipulation is really counter productive. It just keeps pushing us away. Relationships take work. I also agree very much with you on the “emotional safety”. It’s hard to get that back. To trust that person again cause your guard is up all the time especially if it’s gone on for years.
Yes,yes,yes. Thank you for understanding the spirit behind my videos. I appreciate you comment and support. Thank you.
Correct...as a women...do you think we still have chances.?
Very good take from a female perspective. All that said depends on if the female is worth the effort and commitment. An evaluation of what she offers is very important in the short, mid and long-term
The ONLY solution, if you want your wife back is to 100% focus on your growth, 100% own up to how you hurt her, and get to work. Do not chase her or you’ll lose her!! Just become so freaking amazing that she’s a total fool to leave. Show by your actions and demeanor and don’t waste your breath “explaining” your changes
Two the same sentence but different meaning and feeling...
World’s most beautiful sentence
... but I love you...
world’s most painful sentence
... I love you, but....
🥺🥺🥺
This is EXACTLY what I am going through right now. My fiance said "I love You" but I am "Not in Love with You". I made my share of mistakes. She asked me to change some things on more than one occasion, and I blew it off by my own selfishness. I don't want to lose her, we still live together, but as she says it feels more like "roommates". She has said "I am not innocent in this", and "I am wrong too" but when asked what specifically I get no answer other than "It's not because of someone else" But I have seen her follow exotic dancers on social media platforms, while there was no intimacy from her which made me think "Is my body not good enough"? I am just so confused as to how this will turn out. We have been together 3 1/2 years, engaged ironically would have been 1 yr ago on Thanksgiving. I am glad I found your videos, cause it does feel hopeless, I feel worthless cause I didn't make the changes like being a better listener / communicator as many times as she said if it didn't change this would be the result. Do I just need to give her that 'space', let her "calm down"? I mean I hugged her this morning before work, and we just kissed each other 2 nights ago, so I firmly believe the love is still there??
Jim - Join my masterclass and understand the 3 levels of change you need to make yourself irreplaceable so that you no longer have to ask this question.
Take the redpill
@@packman3979 big mistake, keeps from truly being a high value man
Hey Jim. How is it going?
Hi Jim, how are things going? I just got the “I love you but I am not in love with you” from my Wife of 22 years. I can’t deny I feel the same. I just feel we are worth fighting for and work on things. No one is perfect, and all relationship require some work. So to me, it makes more sense to make things work with her. Some friends tell me to just replace her for a woman half her age. But that’s not what I want.
Thank you Geoffrey for breaking down that saying. I've spent the last 5 months trying to figure out what my wife meant when she said that before she left. 5 months to no avail and this video made so much sense.
This hits so so close to home. I’ve been with my wife almost 9 years married but 14 as a couple…. We have 2 kids (5 and 8 ), and I just got the “I love you but I’m not in love anymore”. It hit me life a freight train and I went down the same path (pleading, promising change) problem is we traveled this road 9 years ago and I fell into the same routine after a few months so she doesn’t believe me. She just suppressed her emotions and finally come to a head. I’m lost, lonely and scared.
Update?
I think the main takeaway is basically that u cannot show you are loving and caring by saying your loving and caring that’s a logical appeal but by actually just being loving and caring . Actions appeal more to emotions
I'm confused I mean I've always thought love is a choice. If you choose to love some then you put them before yourself of course you can accomplish this in many way. Love - agape - is patient and kind; love is not envious or boastful or arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth. ... Love never ends”
Love isn't about putting others above yourself. You can't fully love someone until you can give them your true authentic self. And you can't do that until you learn to love yourself above others. Love in a romantic relationship (eros love) is a two way street. It requires more than a mere choice. It must also involve emotions
@@tedjemmott9567Romantic love is no different than any other love. Love comes when we put our time into something, it’s no different than someone pouring their time into their pets, car or garden. Where we put our effort is where our love follows. I think you’re confusing limerance or lust with love.
This hits home for me as I'm going thru this right now. I never quite healed my first marriage as wife had multiple affairs and I used alcohol to deal with my pain. That has now affected my 2nd marriage 8 years in. I have taken steps . The first was to quit drinking and now am 256 days sober. I was a bad drunk and have many regrets. I am wanting so much to save my marriage and learned a few months ago that I am anxious preoccupied and my wife is dismissive avoident. We are going thru couples counseling now and I am learning so much. Talk less, be supportive and consistent. I know it won't happen overnight but am learning to love myself again and hopefully I can save my marriage. Thank you for the video because she has said this to me and hit home because I was kinda confused on why she said it and what she meant by it.
Awesome man. Let me know how I can support you in a bigger way!
@@markthomas2531 thank you the good news is we both want to continue with counseling and she is letting me show some affection with touch and is holding my hand while we sleep . She said last night that she is seeing a positive change in me but is really depressed and her heart is still cold and feels her life has been full of emotional abuse. I will continue to be consistent and pray she finds a new love for me.
@@MrAndres212able during the last year, she was having a secret affair I found out from her own side family. I kicked her out, and it's been 3 weeks so it still fresh. Part of me wants to work thru it but the other part says screw her. There is alot of emotions right now but she hurt me pretty bad that I don't think I can ever trust her again. I'm still sober and 1 year 76 days sober. My birthday is today so it's kind of a depressing one.
@@MrAndres212able found out about 1 month ago she had been having an affair the whole freaking time. She didn't think I would quit drinking as was a common problem I had. So it was a snowball from there. The sad thing is I'm still sober even after she had moved out 1 year 80 days lol. She's a Narrssisit and I had some tendency's to be one when I was drunk but when I quit drinking I am an Empath.. I still love her and she broke my heart but you cannot heal a narc. So I need to cut her out of my life completely. I have been trauma bonded and she thinks she is trauma bonded too. Two broken people and we're going to counceling seperstely and she's moved out. To fresh right now as emotions are up and down and trust has been shattered.
This is what I'm going through right now... I neglected her feelings for years and I felt like she would never tell me ta leave.. This is hitting too close to home... Excellent break down on what I failed to do for years
Any update on the situation? I hope it went well for the two of you.
@@isaiah1660 Yes..!!! It is going very well with us...
@@StreetRunnerforHisKingdom would you mind sharing a bit. I’m currently going through the exact same thing and I’m worried I won’t be able to save it.
Ok, what do you wanna know
@@isaiah1660 I'm very open to talk
Luckily, I managed to get to that spot organically, as I knew as far as six months out that things needed to change. I am not a very assertive person and let my wife lead, but that put too much on her plate and she became overwhelmed. I had been trying to find the courage to tell her things needed to change, but she hit me with these words first. It allowed me the opening to say what I needed to say anyway.
Tired of fighting to get her back, she was devastated I wouldn’t be in her life anymore but I couldn’t sit on the sidelines watching her get with someone else. Maybe one day our paths will cross again. 22years is a long time in a relationship and nothing can be fixed overnight, so best to give space to both of us to move on.
So what's happened.
You nailed it for sure I’m trying to save my 20 years of marriage and this video hits deep bc I’ve heard everything you have said in this video
Great Video my girlfriend of 6 years are going thru hardship mainly cause by my selfish behavior. As I begin my path watching your videos is helping me understand i cannot force her thought process it is hers and only hers. We do have 2 small children but her love and reason for being with me should not rest on the fact we have children it needs to be because she still loves me. Very stressful but i am locked into your channel. Thank you for giving me some hope that i can salvage my relationship down the line
Awesome man. Hope to keep supporting you and giving you clarity with more of my videos!
This guy is the best. Glad I found you..
Hey Mark! Really appreciate your kind words - love seeing this in the morning :)
Much of the time a woman will say one thing and act differently! She will change her view point when she realises that she can't replace you with anyone of your quality! Be the Alpha and put yourself first!
Hey Geoffrey,
I've been Married 10 years with 3 children and seperated for 7 months. Your info is very helpful. Thanks
How are you doing? Any updates?
@@Bishop355 yeah going good, thanks for asking.
Wow. Just wow. What a great way to break down this entire process. Very well put my guy.
Thanks brother! If you found this valuable, we go so so much deeper in our relationships revival program. Feel free to check it out! ruclips.net/p/PLQ8tvyhQlPzsNm-vC_g_8SWGcJRngefgU
My husband told me this he says he deeply cares but it’s tired of all my crying for nothing getting home from work and just pointing fingers at him etc he says things will never change and that he is disappointed on not loving me the way I wanted him too 😢 he said my insecurities have to change
Thanks geoffrey, your videos, live question and answer, mastering classes have been incredibly helpful!!! You explain these challenges in a way which is easy to follow and pick up.
Thank you for taking the time to write these kinds words Russell! Glad I have been of help! :)
Today's my last chance, I'm gonna try this. Wish me luck.
This vid is so helpful. Thank you. It has helped me so much recently. I'm working on improving myself after my bf asked for space. Of all the relationship advice out there this has been the most helpful. I know your advice is geared towards men in relationships but I find it helpful even when you flip the genders. I completely agree about logical v's emotional paradigm. That is what I'm dealing with right now. And your point about identity shifting is really helpful. It's been hard for me to make changes because I still have to work on shifting my identity.
Hey! That's awesome and I love your attitude! Let me know how I can further support you :)
@@GeoffreySetiawan Thank you! I'm really interested in tips on how to make that identity shift. Also how to stay hopeful when going through all this and it feels like your partner is going to keep resisting even when they are hovering. Vids on that stuff would be great.
Got antithetic a bit and decided to rewatch the old videos and really glad I did . Finding points I missed the first time
Thank you, I am going through what this video is talking about and ybe past few days have been difficult since I heared those words. I have decided to give her space but have been struggling mentally and emotionally not knowing how to best respond to the situation.
This is smart it’s different than what I have heard before you have my attention thank you for sharing your message
Geoffrey 🎉I have listened to all the videos I have been able to find and all you have said is 400% correct.
Congratulations!⭐🌟⭐🌟⭐ And 🏆🏆🏆🏆🏆
Wow. Incredible communication and video ! Thank you, I truly appreciate this !
Celine Cormier,
Thank you for the comment and support.
Thank you for your videos Geoff,I am in this situation now and finding it tough
I have a very good feeling that if I don’t work on myself tremendously over this break my girl and I are in, I will be hearing this. I am trying my best to show her I am changing, I’m not contacting her, I am getting out with new people, and even doing things she always wanted me to but I was too lazy and unmotivated to do.
I'm here a 2nd time in my life, and the reality is it's over friend.
Such a great help - thank you. So apt for my relationship at the moment!
Condensed it really means : you love your friends but you are not in love with them. Now copy paste this to your soon to be ex what she thinks about you.
I'm going through this at this time. My Daughter has my you tube acct. But this situation is very painful... I messed up on every aspect on what you mentioned. And can't give away 18 yrs..
What if you wife filled for Divorce 3 months ago… I’ve been changing, not sure if she’s in love with someone else. 2 kids 19 years of knowing each other, almost 14 married. I’m 40 and never been with anyone else but her in 19 years. I only have hopes of dreams, I made many mistakes that I wasn’t paying attention! To focus in the daily routine and in the future. Question is, if she file is she truly done, or what if she has someone else in her heart?
Update please going thru thr same thing
Just saw this after my girlfriend said that she doesn't like me and kept asking me to change but then I'll backslide after achieving it. 2 days ago, she said she want to break up with me as she knew I can't change and it's unfair for me to change to the guy that she want. I'll apply what you've shared here. 💯
Quick question: When I ask her to sit down and enjoy the popcorn while watch me change. What if she said no. Should I just move on or is she saying that because she knew I can never change?
You the man Geoff learning a lot from you
Application and execution next
Bro my girlfriend just told me that she's still in love with her baby dady... And she need some space to think what she she really needs. I don't know what to do because i love her so much... And i believed her when she told me that she over him when we started dating
Believe her, many women are still in love or lust with their child's father but want tell their current boyfriend or husband.
Damn dude so sorry to hear that.. I don’t think I can handle that
Thank you for your videos, they are really helping me during a difficult time.
I'm at a point where I'm just tired of her shit. I've given her every opportunity to stay or leave. I've put myself threw hell to change but I don't use that change for leverage. It's consistently the same old shit from her. I want her gone now. Giving someone the opportunity to leave but they stay to say the same shit over and over is torture.
She told me this today. Yet i still believe
Hey Rod, emotions can and do change with time. I see it happen every day with all my clients in my program. If you’d like to learn more about it, you can begin by joining our free masterclass here.
relationshipsmastered.com/masterclass
At the end of this masterclass, you will also get some information on how you can submit your application for the program.
And in case you’re curious as to how life-changing this program is, or how it is MILES beyond what other programs can offer, check out the links below!
Client Review Videos:
ruclips.net/p/PLQ8tvyhQlPzsNm-vC_g_8SWGcJRngefgU
Client Review Screenshots:
drive.google.com/drive/folders/1Gp8UpRV9uMlFx763BfuQnEqN930FQb7b?usp=sharing
Listening to this and really taking it into consideration has opened my eyes and allowed me to practice new ways to do things that believe it or not she has already tried telling me before
Yes! It is quite eye-opening when we start to see just how hard they have tried and just how long they have tried for.
Gzzz, now imagine adding adhd to this. Anyhow, this is like the script to what happened to me. Really really Great info! Really like the part about true power
Right on!
I just find it annoying that they can easily talk to their friends about these things going on but then they dontvsay anything to us, and so we end up guessing all the time
I don't listen enough
12:27pm..4/22/23
My wife wanted space and freedom.. loves me but not in love with me.
She spent the weekend with her girlfriend just to get away..
She never called to say that she’s ok, nor did I called her. I wanted her to have her space.
Update?
Thank you so much for sharing, this is gold!
Hi Geoff, could you consider uploading more videos about how to shift your identity? It’s very interesting and I’d like to learn more
Hi Shema Tan,
Yes, I can add this to my content calendar.
But in the meantime if you have not checked out this video below, it will be worth the time investment. Very eye-opening.
ruclips.net/video/mwsb1dtpO54/видео.html
My partner said on Monday she loves me but not in love. Then two days later said she is in love with me. The. Three days after that said shes not in love with me but loves me. Can’t imagine if us men say those things
How do you respond to your partner more emotionally vs logically? I can’t seem to ever say the right things and have only made things worst
Thank you so deeply for healing my broken heart
Hi Eexaniouse, you are welcome! Happy to have helped.
When people are emotional detached it's cause the allowed fear and doubt to set in.
Wow I wish I found this video so long ago…if your taking clients 🙋🏻♂️ I’m here for it
Bro very awsome explanation. My opinion is. EACH school MUST and SHOULD give free courses to boys and girls in the puberty about how to communnicate
the PROPER WAY to the opposit GENDER. It will spare a lot of trouble and probably it will avoid the high percentage of DIVORCES and collapsing relationships.
Love your videos man. Very easy to understand and implement.
Thanks Tony! 💪
@@GeoffreySetiawan it’s the least I can do. Your advise has helped my marriage in so many ways. It’s also helped me to know myself better and how to improve. I cannot thank you enough. I have a ways to go but I’m excited for the future now that I am armed with the knowledge taught by you. Thank you again. I look forward to more videos in the future.
Love your insight we need more of this..
Many more to come Sonny!
I really need your help !! My wife of 23 yrs is also like this … same words I’m so lost and confused… need help in a bad way I don’t want to lose her …
My current wife has said this at least twice a year for over 25 years. Because of it, I only give her 25% of my sexual power, but she claims I'm the best
You are perfect, man, perfect
Wow thanks buddy!
I really like your content. I honestly wish I came across this a year ago. It possibly would have saved my marriage .
Appreciate your comment Daniel. Never too late! Are you in a new relationship now?
@@GeoffreySetiawan my wife is still in the middle of divorcing me . So no new relationship. Just playing the waiting game since she told me it was a one sided relationship
Hey there I was just told this in august by my ex girlfriend. We were together for 10 years and have a 9 year old child together. I made the mistakes of telling her I am getting help to get better and that we really should try to go get help together to make this work with everything that we had. I did find out about 2 weeks later that she had been having a RP online relationship with a guy living halfway around the country since March. She is online with this guy now for about 7-10 hours a day. I love her to death and I feel like she has become addicted to the game to where she is thinking this guy really loves her. They have talked about meeting up and being in a long distance relationship but she wants to physically meet him first. Again I want to be with her and I think that she wants to be with me but she is just infatuated with this guy. I am slowly losing hope as we now have not really talked for about 2 weeks (again I was stupid and tried to beg and stuff a lot). Can anybody help me and tell me if I am just chasing a ghost now or can I still get the first love of my life back and back to who she was before this game?
Update?
She still loves you but you hurt her too much. That's okay just walk away. Unless you've both changed/healed it will be pointless to be with each other again!
Vital to me at this time in my life.
How do you prove your changes from a long distance? She will give me one word responses via text and doesn’t want to talk over the phone.
11:58....great approach!
J Dot S, I am glad you like it. This is how I teach my many clients how to respond when they here this. "Grab your popcorn"
I messed up my situation with my girlfriend and now she ended everything…wants to bring certain changes in me for now and wants us to be friends. Is there any hope that we could still get back together after some time? Or should I focus on just friendship part
This video is exactly what I needed to hear thank you so much 🙏🏽🙏🏽
Great, thank you for your comment and support.
Thanks any tips on how to talk to a woman who forget all the stuff they do wrong and say. But when you say one thing wrong they go crazy and a man always says sorry even if he knows he is not in the wrong. We say let's talk about it but still it's all her and then they walk of so we get upset men can't win
You are absolutely amazing you are going to fix mine and my finances relationship and make it better if he really listens to what your saying because I am and I see a lot I do wrong as well
Men and woman will both have it very hard in a relationship
And if she's said this exact phrase, and is now with another guy? We are friends, we have 2 kids together, she stays with him 98% of the time. It is almost 100% my fault. Could this still work? We talk every day.
Hi Mystic,
There is always hope for things to work out…
Once you have become the best version of yourself and mastered the right processes, it really doesn’t matter if she is already in a relationship. She will naturally gravitate towards the best person that can provide the safety and trust she needs.
Repalce her with a younger, hotter and far more fertile woman than her. Then watch what will happen......
Does this go the same for husbands?
Yes!
Need help I’m in this position my wife and I been together for 13 years and she’s dating others
Thank you!
Thank you for your comment and support Anton!
What if the core of what you say is not the case? What if trust is not the problem but she keeps saying that because for example distance is a problem?
Hi Argyri,
Of the 1000+ clients that join my program annually, all have seen massive results by simply following the right processes to rebuild trust & safety.
It doesn’t matter how unique, difficult or dire the situation may seem in the beginning, once they shift the focus on doing the internal work and start to consistently show these changes externally that’s when there situation changes…
If distance is a issue, then have a conversation to find a win-win solution or compromise…
Have a look at our client testimonials to see how they have achieved massive success despite their situation…
Client Review Videos:
ruclips.net/p/PLQ8tvyhQlPzsNm-vC_g_8SWGcJRngefgU
I’m really liking these videos. The situation with my wife is very complicated due to her working out of town and other issues. But I still think they will be helpful.
Hi Alex Harper,
Come check out many of my clients who once though their situation and stories were also unique. Come see how they stopped telling themselves this and started looking for the right answers.
ruclips.net/p/PLQ8tvyhQlPzsNm-vC_g_8SWGcJRngefgU
thank you bro
I’m just not sure how to get her to even say hi when it’s been 5 months of no contact and zero communication after she disappeared.
Update
What happens when she has started dating already?
A lot of them do, my last put me through it. Coming and going I didn’t think she was seeing other people but she definitely was. Just don’t be a victim. 💪
@jeancso so did she come back
What if we’re already broken up and I’m in no contact the last 2 weeks broke up about 3 weeks ago. How do I go about this like reaching out or what will I do?
Hi Sshhff, here is a video that will give you some guidance in your current situation... ruclips.net/video/327qBP3Myb4/видео.html
I love you and I love you sir
Wahhh amazing very true very true
This video is amaaaziiiing
So glad you liked it!
man you are really great!
Appreciate you buddy. Always nice to hear from a fan!
What can I do if she says let's just be friends?
Walk away, it's over.
Going through this right now too. Any advice on how to connect emotionally during COVID and living as "roommates"?? I am working on me but doesn't seem to be helping our situation. Filing after the holidays even though I am not wanting to.
What does "working on me" entail for you?
@@GeoffreySetiawan working out, leaning into work and our daughter. I am also attending university in the Spring and gearing up for the semester.
@@cjaso801 You should be doing deeper work than just those surface stuff my man. Join my masterclass and you'll get clear on the 3 levels of changes that actually matter.
@@GeoffreySetiawan I am also seeing my therapist and reading on my control issues and need for approval.
I am experiencing the same thing... its just that i am the wife. My husband loves me but not the same way as before. No holdingg hands, no hugging. But he kiss me good night. And thats it. No making love for 2 years. Any thoughts on this Geoff? I always try to be positive yet there are times i cant handle it but cry.
But... what if you don't want HER?
Ur the best in this world
WOW!! What a huge compliment, I am always encouraged when people can find my videos useful and start make changes in their lives in massive ways. Thank you David Kalyabulo.
You are the best
If she doesn't want to meet then wt I have to do ?
Hi Swagat, If she is not open to meeting right now. Then this is the opportunity to continue working on becoming the best version of yourself so that you can show the massive changes when you do meet up.
Wish I found this sooner I came to this naturally after months of confusion cause I just didn't understand what she was saying. At the very least if we don't work out I know going forward this won't happen to me again
Exactly! You are spot on and you will be surprised when you approach things in this way just how much things can change.
Don't take it from me, take is from my many clients who have learned this very lesson.
ruclips.net/p/PLQ8tvyhQlPzsNm-vC_g_8SWGcJRngefgU
Sometimes women don't respond good to logic
Shoup you b really have to almost play mind games to receive love? Hmmmm idk seems like you either choose to love or not?
Mann get better for yourself not her. Do you really want someone that’s unsure about you
Hi henry thomas,
Yes, the right and massive changes always has to be for ourselves or they will always feel cheap, nonpermanent, and will feel like they come with strings attached.