To me it is the honeymoon stage that people feel in love. Real love is when you choose to keep loving that person and making it work. If you go back 100 yrs ago they just didn't give up and throw the love away they worked on the relationship. Now days people throw away relationships after a few months because that honeymoon feeling isn't there as it once was. You can keep that stage going forever, you just need to work on things and talk to each other and let each other know what the other needs. I think everyone should read the book called " The 5 Love Languages ". I think if more people would read this book it would help save the relationship. But that is the point behind my comment, you have to want to.
Falling in love is an emotion, loving is an act of will, no one can keep an emotion alive forever, what we need to work is in the platform of limerance, to decide if we want to love this person and work every day in that decision....
hello! please can you reply and give me an opinion: My relationship was growing! Now I wanna share with you a little of what happened. We are really committed to each other we have a 3 years old relationship (not perfect with a lot of effort and love). I met him 4 years ago though. Our relationship was struggling since a conflict we were carrying from mistake he made in the past. But at the same time we were growing in presence as u describe in your comment we went through the honeymoon and then i actually thought that our relationship was getting stronger. Unfortunately since we have not seen each other in 1 year cuz this covid shit has my partner in another country I am gonna share what happened. I met an stranger and i felt something (love and that heart bumping) with a conversation with this stranger (since then i felt emotionally gone with my partner, i never did anything with the stranger). My partner and me were carrying a problem and i guess distance made me look for that need in another person (the conversation with the stranger) but i felt a beyond connection. Now i never saw and i dont want to see the stranger again even though my soul was craving for it.I try to not think ab that guy since it is past! (1 month ago) BUT that does not mean i dont wanna save my 3 years old relationship that cost us a lot of love and effort! now my partnef is connected but i felt emotionally disconnected (or not “in love” towards my partner)since the moment i met this stranger. Now i want to reconnect with my partner again cuz i have built this relationship with a lot of effort, love and patience. But distance was not a problem until this incident happened. Actually (one year being apart is probably what we are missing) He loves me a lot and he is planning to come to see me again this February is the best he can do. I just hope to feel that emotional bond again. Otherwise i would feel really sad, and everyday that passes i feel more far away from him. I dont wanna pay attention to the hopeless thoughts and feelings. I really dont know what to do since i have lost the interest on my partner. It doe not feel the same anymore. It is sad the thought of leaving an amazing human being that loved u a lot. I also was in love and i had the spark. Sometimes i hate the fact i met this new person.
1 Corinthians 13:4-8a (ESV) Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. ... Love never ends
My ex girlfriend told me this 3 months ago when she decided to leave me, a week before she made her decision she told me “i love you and i want all the good things in life with you, we can make this work” a week went by and idk what happened in that week but she did a complete 180 and left me over the phone. When she said that to me my soul and a piece of me literally left my body and i dont think ill ever get that piece of me back again. The pain has been something that i never could have imagined having to endure
It often means that she cares about us (love as in caring), but are just no longer infatuated. That initial "in love" stage or honeymoon stage is ultimately sexual attraction/infatuation. Finding a good partner is also about identifying red flags. The "feel good" chemical can blind us and contribute to us ignoring red flags along the way. Love is eventually about finding a partner that we can stand being around long term.
I said this to my ex when I broke up with him 2 years ago. I was so stupid. I’ve loved him till this day. Dont trust your ex 100%. To remind them that they love you, you must go NC.
Daniel Cruz I came to realize that I can’t live without him. I miss him so bad. Now I can only hope that he will give me a chance. Things turn around, he now has all the power and I’m the one who has to beg. But I learned from the past that it’s not the way to go. When he begged me, I only wanted to go away from him more. So I made it clear that I want to fix things and I’m doing NC on him rn. I really have faith in it! Hope this is helpful!
Lee, this is me signing off. After two months of no contact, word has got back to me that she has stuck with her decision and there is no hope. I did everything right, just sadly not worked out for me. I’m still in no contact as there is no point of even attempting any form of communication. So thank you for keeping me going with your videos. They’re helpful and there gonna be very helpful for those in similar positions who may have a chance of reconciliation with their loved ones. I wish you and everyone else the very best and big success.
Mate, as the others said, 2 month's is not enough to take her decisions as any certainty or confirmation just yet. I had my ex come back after 6 months from the same reason, and i actually begged for a few weeks after the breakup. I know every situation is different, but i would just give it time.
if you really love a person, no matter what you will be together, through thick and thin. (obviously not when partner is abusive) these days, love is only for few months or years. then break up. when we ask the reason for the break up, no answers given!! wtf!
My ex told me "I dont love you. I woke up one morning and didnt feel anything." a year and a half into the relationship. This was On July 7th, nearly two months ago. Started No Contact a week afterwards when she told me "I wasnt happy, move on." This break up was out of the blue, we never fought, never disrespected each other in any way. She said i love you like a week before she left me, and always promised she'd tell me if i ever made her mad or upset. I struggle to understand how such a beautiful thing can come to an end so quickly. Her lack of feeling or empathy destroyed me and i am now living the rest of my life making sure she made the wrong decision. I fell in love with this girl and wanted a future with her, and i still do.
Similar thing for me. And like you, I have great taste in music ;) I saw her at a Slayer show shit drunk and high with another dude. Wasn't the best way to see Slayer's last show even if I made the most of the great pit action.
it can just happen sometimes. sometimes people, as you said, wake up and not feel anything. sometimes, and usually it’s over longer time but clearly not in your case, people start thinking and realizing that maybe they just aren’t happy. one thing i disagree with in the video is that “it’s not you it’s me” or “i need to work on myself” is bullshit. because it’s not always that case. that could be genuinely how you’re feeling and that’s the only way you know how to express it. but whatever the case may be, i’m sorry for what happened dude, i really am. but sometimes people do genuinely fall out of love and this video loves to amplify the small reality that most people are lying or using you as a backup. people genuinely do just fall out of love. it’s an unfortunate but real circumstance. good luck with whatever happened, i hope you feel better now
@@reneesimmons1890 I am so sorry Renee. He was probably confused and his feelings were all over the board for both your relationship and his rebound, and he missed you terribly so he reached out. But you deserve someone who will never break up with you in the first place. I hope you find that, whether it's with your ex in the future or someone new someday. Anyway, I appreciate you sharing your story so the rest of us can learn from it and be prepared if something similar comes our way. If they reach out you are desperate to feel that the storm is finally passed, but in reality you might just be in the eye of the hurricane.
Exactly what my ex-wife said to me After sharing our lives for 10years it felt like a knife going in me. Once I found out she cheated I wanted out more than her! I will never marry again!
Same thing my wife said on July 8th after 14 years together. I had been with her since I was 19. Every month since she’s texted me once or twice a month and says “hey how are you doing?” I’ve only replied to her texts never texted her first. The weird thing is though she has a new boyfriend and has changed her status on Facebook to “in a relationship”. Broke my heart again when I seen that.
My boyfriend of 6 years recently broke up with me about a week ago & I feel like I’m dying inside ever since then. He told me that he doesn’t feel like how he did before & wanted to focus on himself. I exhausted every effort to get them back. But I realized I can’t force them to love me. I’m glad I stumbled upon this video. I needed explanations and this helped me understand. I think i am ready to back away and move on. Even if it doesn’t work out like I want to in the end, hopefully during this no contact I will become stronger & it’ll be able to let go.
My wife told me the same 3 weeks ago. But she said: I care about you, I can't say that you're no one to me. But I don't feel like I used to. I need to be selfish and focus on me only. I deserve this after so many years. I think she's even having an emotional affair with some musician guy online. Clinging on to them, begging, pleading or acting desperate is not the way to go. Give em enough rope to hang themselves. In other words, backing off and let them taste life without you. This might or might not bring him back.
Omg hello. Rereading what I initially wrote, I shouldn’t have been as sad as I thought I was! Basically a few weeks after this post, I had found out he had cheated on me. I was a mess, I lost myself, & i began going into a spiral. I cried for months, couldn’t eat, sleep, I couldn’t imagine my life without him. TRUST the healing process. I am so happy I am experiencing life WITHOUT someone I thought I needed. It’s not easy. But when you start to feel all the emotions come rushing back at you, feel them. Let yourself cry if you need to. Don’t deny what you feel or that they hurt you. Acting like a tough bitch & denying the hurt only delays your healing and time to move on. You just really need to get used to being kind to yourself & telling yourself that your feelings are valid to feel this way. For months I thought i wasn’t good enough & told myself that this was some kind of punishment to feel horrible. NO. I was good enough but they really lucked out *snaps in Z formation*. I’ve been with my current boyfriend for a year now. The trauma that comes with a break up/cheating never really goes away. But I value myself way more. I don’t put up w the bs I did before. Everything really does happen for a reason. My boyfriend now, I don’t have to beg for his love, he works w me through fights, communicates w me, doesn’t call me names & tries to understand what bothers me. I hope you all find this peace. You will soon. I know it’s hard & you feel like it will never get better, but it really freakin does! You have to put work toward your healing.
@@ashvee8558 You are doing fine, Ashley, and you will be fine. I'm very proud of you for not "begging" or doing other things to change his mind. Good luck, and stay strong! ⚘️
I am going through this right now my ex told me that our spark was gone. And now I'm doing no contact and it's almost been 2 months didn't even reach out on his birthday
Martin Jones same except measured in seconds. Eleven years together and knowing I can share anything with my companion doesn’t stop easily. Just hope it’s working in reverse and all these women who comment that “no doesn’t work on women” are wrong about serious relationships
Coach Lee , thank you very much about this no contact "tactic". After 7 years of relationship and after 2 months that we moved to live together , she wasn't feeling ok with us and ask me if would be ok with leaving her alone for 1-2 weeks to be ok with herself. After 1 month of her asking me to leave her alone , we arranged a meeting to talk. After some pressure from my side she said the : "I love you but i think I am not in love with you". That was one of the toughest moments of my life until now , I am 34 and I was speechless I think for about 15 minutes at that moment. After that , I was extremely lucky to woke up on this video of you and battle with the only weapon I could use , the "no contact rule". I added something more that i think it helped a lot too. I left her a message that I came to the house to pick some things up because I was planning a vacation week with a friend of mine and I wish her a good summer time (wasn't true). After around 3 weeks , she reached out to me that she can't live without me anymore and she want me back to house with her if I still want her. We won :) . Now I don't know what i will do because the hard thing is that she broke my heart even if she sent the message to be together again. A knife in the hard like this "I love you but I am not in love with you" I guess need a lot of time of healing. Anyways , I want to thank you for helping me with this great idea and video , because when you are inside a tough situation you can't see things clear enough and you were my angel :) God bless you and good luck for you and all people that going through this very tough situation.
@@Phadasmagoria The no contact rule should be used not to get them back, it should be used as a fresh start. I'm currently doing it, but I'm just "letting her get on with it".
@@michaelmoores2654 Actually it worked to get her back too. She texted me after 2 months and said she wanted me back home. We went on vacations etc etc. But we break the relationship after 2 months for good. The no contact rule worked perfectly, she just wasn't that good for me so I continued my life.
I've used no contact before and it does work, it's such a good feeling to be back with a ex. But, during no contact, I learned to let go, and a part of me couldn't go back to the relationship I had before. I knew the relationship had problems, and would return if we didn't change. I split up with this person more then once. It's too painful to go back and forth, and I got use to letting go until one day I didn't want to go back. I felt nothing. I finally let go all of me. I learned problems that exist in relationships don't go away unless we meet them head on, or we risk loosing..
This what my wife told me after 7 years. Before she would write on her ig I love you so much few years later she told me I love u but not in love with u worse feeling ever
Thank you, Lee. Your videos didn't help me to get my ex back but they did make me understand her more. I've realised now she's either a borderline nymphomaniac or a narcissist. Either way, I'm pretty sure I'm better off without her now.
My ex told me that she "needed to work on herself".. At the time, I took it so literally like "Hey maybe she does just have mental issues that she needs to work on", meanwhile she went on a trip to Europe a month later all happy like nothing in the world was bothering her, and having the time of her life.. The excuses are exactly that, EXCUSES.. Nothing but garbage.. The fact is, she got turned off by my neediness, and now I've recognized that problem, and have limited these mistakes with the new women that I've dated with very positive results.. It still would be nice if she gave me a 2nd chance though..
Told me she “loves me” but isn’t “in love with me anymore”. But now she thinks she’s in love with a co worker who’s been married for 10 years and he and his wife are about to have a baby.
Wall, this is the same girl with the rebound, right? Well, she is really messed up. She could be one of those "Sex Addicts." Have you heard of Sex & Love Addiction?" Maybe you learned what she is. Keep away from her.
00:58 No it's not, people do actually happen to feel so and it is a valid reason. Maybe many others use those words as an excuse or something, but there are people who actually feel so.
We broke up 4 days ago after almost 7 years of LDR .. was super painfull for me, i got that bs "i love you ,you are great and good person, very carring blah blah, but there is no more attraction... and after all was ask to stay in touch and not to become complate stranger,how i have special place i n heart "i said that idk... maybe ..even though i wanted to stay in touch so bad...and after those videos i decide to NC..and i didnt do anything since i was dumped.. and will not.i still love and i feel pain but i decide to work on myself..7 years is long period of time.memories are killing me..but thats live. I will be very sad that we never ever see each other again .. it does hurst a lot.. but i will not put my dignity and self respect down.out 7 yrs ldr was nice, we respected each other,travel, have fun, visited cool places..was dynamic but attraction faild...
this video was amazing its exactly what happened with my ex she told me she loves me like a brother, i wish i knew all this back than, but im in no contact now shes in a new relationship, but i can sense shes starting to wonder about me again. since their honeymoon is over and im in silent mode theres very high chances shes now very curious about me, plus ive changed so much so all for the better. :) im just patiently waiting for tht guy to make a mistake which is why i think rebounds also dont work couse they dont have more than one chance if ex is waiting in the shadows :)
I draw a line in the sand when she fucks somebody else. Its a wrong signal to give in my opinion that you can just walk away and do something like that and you will still take her back. The only one that can get sex is the one that got dumped.
Thank you coach Lee. My partner after 1 year and half 19 broke with me 6 weeks ago using the same exuse" I care about you but my feelings is not the same as yours and I don't want to lead you on. So Let's be friends instead! Then manipulating me into being friends only. Now I am on NC for 3 weeks and feel lots of anger on how he used my feelings to break up with me and pushing me basically to keep the part he wants from me and rejects the other part which comes with commitment.
Coach Lee Love You But Not In Love With You is very interesting saying, yes I have heard it before and no I have not experienced someone telling it to me nor have I expressed it to anyone....but its good to really understand what it truly means exspecially the word Limerance...Thank you Sharing 😌😌😌😌
OMG Coach Lee because of you for the first time I nw know the difference between been in love and just loved.Thank you for explaining in such detail. Your the Best .
My girl dumped me 3weeks ago with the same sh*t… I doubt she will be back. Wasted 5yrs of my life to then chase something that u have to work to maintain in every relationship. Tbh, even tho we’ve earned the best versions of each other, she don’t deserve the best version of me… only one person was in it for better or worse.
Thank you Coach lee, I met a new person who entered my life be caring and asked me out, invited me over, kissed me and made out with me all night and right after, all of a sudden he says he is not ready for a relationship and we don't know each other much.. he became cold and distant, he offered to be friends with me but I don't feel it is okay that way after what happened, I tried so hard to talk him into dating me as it felt we had the moment, but it is just a no to him. I think I will just back off and love myself, such person doesn't deserve me. No contact Day1
Xiangyi LIU, people who do that just use you for the moment. Let it go, and don't let anyone do that to you again. You just met this person anyway, so that happened way too soon. Next time, date someone for a while and get to know them...
Well I gave everything and supported her for years as she established her career and when I loss my job she walked out. What are we doing ? She living her best life and I am stuck. I am entitled to reimbursement alimony, spousal support, health care,etc. Married 8 yrs now but we been apart for almost 5 of those years. I lost everything and now she got her career job and doesn't want to help me at all. Wtf ? Marriage is a lifetime contract.
In April my husband of 26 years told me this. He divorced me and said that my “ cancer has taken its toll on HIM!” Then, about 2 weeks after that he gave me a letter & then told me that he had been having an affair with a 31 year old gal that works at his barber shop. That day he moved in with her, leaving me all alone. I think he is having a mid-life Crises but I’m not sure. He destroyed me. I’ve had to start counseling because he & she broke me. Having a rare form of lung cancer has been hard enough. I’ve not confronted her yet, & I think it would help me, if I could....but others tell me that it wouldn’t make a difference. What say you?!
You are so much better than that situation Samantha. I can tell you are strong and you are a fighter! he seems like a shit load of stress! Hope you are well ❤️
Creative Name Thank you, so much!! I AM doing so much better mentally & emotionally. I feel great now that he’s gone!! He hadn’t treated me good in a very long time, I am so much better without him. In fact I told his girlfriend “thank you” & gave her a hug!! Lol....
@@samanthafitzgerel4460 lol thats great samantha! Life always has a weird way of working itself out. This is my mindset which is why in my last breakup my ex was SO shocked during the breakup conversation when i was acting like nothing happened. Always trust the process. Glad to hear it!
Hit the nail on the head here coach lee. My ex told me she needs to work on herself and needs some space. I'm on day 22 of NC and I've kept myself busy. Going to the gym reading alot more and working on my mental health. I beileve shes still in the relief stage and I'm going to conact her after 45 days just to see how shes doing nothing else. If she doesn't reply it doesn't really matter. We have the same friend group so she will see the new me. I'm down 25 pounds got a new haircut and new glasses. She will be seeing someone shes never seen before. I'm not giving in at all to bringing up anything from the past. Our past relationship is over. It was a great year but I'm going to take my time on working on getting back together and not talk about anything from our past. Just going to smile and be confident.
@@michaelsturdevant9196 why wouldn't i? Shes on 2 dating websites and I havent talked to her once im blocked on Instagram snapchat and Twitter what do I have to lose? Im not blocked on Facebook messenger it will be 46 days when i send her that money and reach out
@@Ayoooo99-p3m If she broke up with you, you need to give her time to imagine that you are doing great without her. Then she'll regret the decision. Make her reach out to you. If she doesn't, you'll have moved on. Reaching out to her is just cashing in your no contact time and you'll get nothing out of it. Be strong, man
@@michaelsturdevant9196 im not really looking to get anything out of it im not bringing up the past im not pleading with her to bring me back I'm showing I'm a man of my word and sending her money I owe her sending a short message letting her know I sent it wish her well thats it
Sometimes things happen for that person to love you but not in love. That's what I am going thru with the person I am with. He has put me through it with drug abuse, verbal abuse, in/out rehab and etc. I love him and will do everything I can to help him. But the feelings I had before aren't there. And it has nothing to do with another person.
The more of these I watch the more I don't even want her back. I think I'm done with relationships fellas. People just don't have the same definition of love I do and don't bring the same level of commitment. Smh I really hate it here lol
My ex told me I love u but I’m not In love with u and he’s sorry and now he has a girlfriend then he says he can’t leave his house that he just bought to be with me I’ll just pray for him I’m definitely not going to answer any of his calls or text once he sees that it’s only one me and the other woman isn’t me he will realize
Lmao dis video is exactly what he said😂😂😂😂🤣 I cried n pleaded with him for one month exact. I then went into no contact it 11 days of NC n he keep texting about Random stuff, calling n saying nothing. I always tried to end d call n say I got to go. Still render help to my family. TBT NC works n some part of me don’t want him anymore. 50/50
My ex boyfriend said this. It's strange he said that because he has never loved anyone romantically....he ended because he could see the pain it caused me.
Thanks coach Lee, your videos are very helpful , I wonder if you could do one for those who are struggling with the loss of being dumped, but objectively and rationally also do not believe we should be back with that person. I am sure no contact is also critic, but dealing with our ex reaction and not falling for that will be also important !
I don’t think i will ever say this. After nearly 2 months post break up. My ex reached out today for a meet up!!! He asked if i was seeing anyone and asked if i can meet him in my city (we lives 4 hours away from each other) Strange thing is there’s a guy I’ve been seeing lately. And I started to like him recently. I even talk to myself today. That I can picture myself being his girlfriend. I caught myself smiling when I talk to him. And then my ex just reached out?! I kind a want to meet him to see how I feel. One thing I know is I’m no longer desperate for him. The new guy is much better. But well will see how I feel. Thanks to Coach Lee for the advice. I’ve been doing no contact, Never reached out to him. And been working on myself. My ex dumped me because he told his passion is gone (So I think it’s like he’s not in love with me anymore) And I was hopeless. So if your ex said this to you, Don’t give up just yet. Trust no contact and see how it goes!!
It is indeed very sad if you are not able wish Happy Birthday. Hope you get your ex back. Only a person who has been dumped can fully understand the true meaning of what is love
So my ex’s behavior now makes sense and why he’s liking all these guys pics on twitter and sending half naked pics, it because he no longer wants me or my body but he wants others and their bodies
Coach, this really explained this topic for me and you did a great job. My ex said she wanted more and we were not going to live together or get married. However, she was happy for me to take her out on dates with no sex or affection.
Hey Coach Lee, I hope you’re having a good day. I just wanted to let you know you helped me thoroughly when I was depressed after my relationship with the girl I was seeing was over. I would listen to your videos and it was like you were talking directly to me, inspiring me. So thank you. By the way, I’m over here Knoxville
Wow! Looking back i can confirm this has worked in the past, several years agon my ex (2.5yr) came home one day and left, didnt say the quote just left, i pleaded for about a week then wnet into self destruct mode - partying drinking having fun etc to the point where after that first week i inadvertently went no contact due to these habbits, several months later she reached out asking how i was doing etc and asked to meet up for coffee - i did nothing happened but then later heard through a mutual friend that they were wanting to reconcile with me, but typical male i am did not see the signs 😅 anyways for the downer part. my current partner (5yrs 2 kids) has said the i love you but not in love with you and as i am now older i will focus on this advice and keep any contact strictly to kids only and let her see if she wants to do this alone, as hard as it is as we did have a great relationship, but i let some mental health issues get between us and she did try to help, Will keep you guys updated (Swear i am a hopless romantic sometimes😂)
M 34 ( Scorpio ) my ex gf F 31 ( Sagittarius ) my ex broke up w/ my on 11/12/22 " She told me I love you, but not in love w/ you " It's so weird she invited me to visit her parents & best friend on 10/26/22 - 10/30/22 & came home on 10/31/22 move in w/ her for barely a week than she kick me out 11/06/22 at her apartment than the week after she broke up w/ me. We were together 1 year & 4 months. I did like all men 99% begging/pleading or telling her get back together until December on Jan 2023 did no contact
After 37 days of NC, I'm starting to think we are not getting back together (3 years relationship). Today I feel better, feeling sad but stronger at the same time. Starting to detach.
@@ivanjeffersons1125 +150 days of NC lol feeling great, dating a beautiful girl, haven't heard about my ex since the break up. I get nostalgic once in a while but it passes quickly. We both made many mistakes during the relationship but NC has given me perspective, now I'm able to see how she neglected me though the last months of the relationship while I was thinking I was the one screwing it all up, and trying to fix things (pushing her away even more). At this point I'm Ok if she doesn't come back, I realized (once again) there are many fish in the ocean, let's see. Stay strong 👊🏽
So basically if your ex says “ I wanna do things for me” “ I wanna work on myself” “I wanna focus on me and my job” “I’ll always care about you” it’s the kiss of death and you’ll never be with them romantically again?.....
My said those this and said we're never getting back together. 3 months later we were back together but now we are apart again. Words hold very little meaning.
My husband just told me this after 10 years of marriage, so in other words he's thinking with his dick instead of his heart. We have a disabled child, if he walks out that door, I don't think I want him back, how could I trust him again?? I'm a strong beautiful woman and if he can do that, our son and I deserve better. I need a man not a child. I have needs too
In the days following the breakup, I asked her, "Do you still have any feelings of love toward me?" She said, "I'm not going to tell you I love you because I don't want to lead you on. But I will always have love in my heart for you." She has mentioned that she still cares for me and she still has feelings for me. This goes in line with her saying "I don't know if we'll get back together. I'm not saying we will and I'm not saying we won't." To me, she doesn't sound one hundred percent sure about this breakup. I sure miss my best friend 😔
Carl Mauch she doesn’t sound 100% about being together either. Which is very painful to accept but one must because it’s hell being with some one who calls the shots like this x
Sensor It Yeah I know. But I feel like it's better than, "We're never getting back together." The cause of this breakup was due mostly by me, so I'm hoping that by demonstrating actual change and self improvement there will be reconciliation down the road. I've known that I needed to change for a while. I became different than the man she fell in love with. We were together for eight years in a very loving relationship and we talked about marriage. We had plans for the future. I know she didn't want it to come to this.
Sensor It Thank you. I love this girl with all my heart and I know she's right for me. I've never been so close to someone and developed such a bond with another person. I really want her back in my life. Like I said, she was also my best friend.
No way! My ex has used this over and over and what he says doesn’t match up with what he does. We DO have the fireworks ...we do have the intense chemistry and he has said this repeatedly ...he calls our connection ‘otherworldly’ and no one compares. I’m in my late 40’s and he’s in his mid 50’s. He is a commitment phone....or there is always some reason why he keeps breaking up with me and I stupidly take him back. But the one thing we do have is an incredible bond...mostly sexual. So what he says is “I love you but I’m not in love with us” what the hell do I do? What is this? We are broken up presently but he came over more than a week ago and it was mad passionate love making for hours....he leaves for the holidays and I haven’t heard from him since. So now I’m in NC. He says we could never be FWB because he feels too much emotion for me and yet here we are. He’s an asshole who’ll never grow up...but please explain wtf he is doing.
You answered your own question, he is just there for the sex and sex does not equal romance, having amazing sex does not equal love, it is just amazing sex, whether he has feelings or not is irrelevant but if he does not commit, he only has enough feelings to keep you on for the sex mostly. To sum up, he is stringing you along until he finds someone better in his mind, drop his ass now
Rachel, he is only using you for sex! You don't need someone like that I'm your life. Honey, you can do MUCH BETTER. NC with him. Remember, he is only using you. Best of luck to you..⚘️
He just told me he loves me, is wildly attracted to me, that our sex is amazing, thinks I’m the most beautiful special person, loves being with me, loves the way I care for him but doesn’t feel the feelings he’d need to feel to take this to the next level. He said he wants to feel those feelings but just doesn’t. I was actually shocked because I was so confident that he was in love with me but just recovering from his last relationship. When we were together the chemistry was off the charts. This is the content I needed. The thing that’s confusing is that our sexual attraction is fire. It’s not one of those situations where the spark is gone. We can’t keep our hands off each other and just spent a whole beautiful sexy weekend together. He only ended it because I told him I wanted a committed relationship. He still wants to be close friends and I told him I can’t do that right now.
@@RealCoachLee thank you. I agree. I showed up as my best self, full of self love, gave him space when he needed it, showed support and understanding, took my own space and kept my life very full, never took his hesitancy personally AND we stayed up all night talking and laughing, having phenomenal sex, we are both performers and creatives, and he told me I made him safe to be vulnerable for the first time ever. It just doesn’t make sense except I believe that subconsciously he doesn’t feel worthy of me. Which isn’t a sexy feeling. So I’m going no contact and letting go of the outcome. Thanks for the support!
My ex says, ‘I have love for you’. I think it’s the same as I love you but not in love with you. He has no feelings for me romantically is the way I took it. Could anyone shed any light into this? Am I correct?
My ex told me "she wasn't in love with me anymore, but at times she thinks what could of been between us, but its just not there for her." She told me this few months after we broke up. I did no contact and she did reach out couple times and I notice she would look at my FB, but at this time I suspected she was in a relationship, open-relationship, and it started eating at me. So I actually contacted her and she said she was in an open-relationship and she was happy. For my mental health I told her it's best we not contact each other because I wasn't comfortable with her reaching out to me while she was in that type of relationship and didn't want to give off the impression she could reach out to me while in that type of relationship. I felt used and uncomfortable. I guess I messed everything up.
Coach lee please help me man! My girlfriend pulled herself away from me as she wasn't feeling the connection and even she wasn't sure why she wanted breakup but as i watched all of your video i figured it out that i was being too needy and invested more than her.. After breakup i even cried on call to stop her but at that time all she wanted was breakup. After that i started watching your videos and used no contact. I was expecting it to work after a month coz my ex is psycho but it worked within a week and she started throwing breadcrumbs several times but the conversation was short and awkward so it didn't continue and i started no contact again. Now she's rarely online on on any social media and she's loyal asf because our relationship lasted 10 years... Its been 15 days since i used no contact now pls tell me what to do man. U ARE MY LAST HOPE
It’s funny how convenient the breakup was for her. She has a new bf now. I gave her enough grace but this weird behavior is just not something I’m going to tolerate. I don’t want to deal with this person anymore
You have helped me so much and your videos are true. My ex has got back in contact after no contact. He is now confusing me though as he has said he just wants to go out as friends now and again but said hes never stopped loving me. Mixed signals and hot and cold, i no longer know what to do.x
Kat, it could be (and is often the case) that an ex will be very cautious when he is moving back toward you. It’s rare that he would just say, “I want you back.” That’s often because he recognizes inconsistency in himself. He wanted you, then wanted the breakup, now wants you again. He likely doesn’t want to put voice to that yet. So he eases in, knowing at the very least that he misses you. Avoid the temptation to push him. Let him come to you at his own pace. Patience is certainly a virtue in this situation. Here is a video I suggest watching all the way through: m.ruclips.net/video/Eat-lMhyyTg/видео.html
@@RealCoachLee thank you. I have left my ex alone as i felt that i was starting to question him over getting back together, and like in your videos it says doing that will push him further. I have also come to the conclusion that i cannot be friends because i love him too much and again as your video says why be demoted to friends. I have not heard from him for 3 days now wereas before when he said over being friends he was in contact most days. Think ive frightened him off by the questions but like i said i cant do friends. Do you think i will hear from him again? Thank you.
Ok, so what if they said they didn't want to break up but it was the only choice because we were both dealing with our own issues mentally? She also said she loves me but hasn't fallen in love with me? This was a year and a half into the relationship. We had plans to get a place together and less than a month ago it was "I can't wait for us to get our own place" and then followed up with, maybe in the future we can see what happens once we work on ourselves. I'm so distraught over this because we were like 2 peas in a pod and had a really good relationship. She even said I was perfect during the breakup. The whole break up was so confusing and I'm trying to process it. We can't be friends currently because she is taking her space to heal from this. Also, it was said that we both don't want to date anyone right now so we can work on ourselves. And I have no reason to not believe her because she has never lied to me. I'm so conflicted. What do I do?
Sometimes the words your ex uses are not an authentic reflection of what they're truly thinking. When they love you but are not in love with you, it still rings as a drop in emotional attraction. Having issues to deal with can evoke negative emotions in the other person which creates that drop in attraction. She might still genuinely care for you and have some uncertainty about the breakup. The best way to handle it is to do no contact. It is scary because you will feel like she's getting away but it will help her to realise the place you had in her life. Alternatively I want to suggest that you consider Coach Lee's live workshop "Relationship Reignite". It focuses on saving a relationship from a breakup/separation and then keeping it after. It includes a coaching call each month for 6 months. You can talk to Coach Lee's team about it. I think the person for this is named Johnny and you can make an appointment with him to talk about it at myexbackcoach.com/relationship-reignite.
@coachkimgordon interesting enough, I went no contact and started working on myself. Within 3 weeks, we are hanging out again and we are going slow. She initiated contact and I have a very strong feeling that we will be dating again here soon based on her actions towards me recently. Thank you for the words of advice!
Bro .. I just left my ex yesterday because she literally said the same thing. I love you, but I haven't fallen in love with you if it hasn't happened by now, I'm not sure it ever will". We were together a year and a half as well!! And almost got a house together, which fell through cause of the house conditions. We've talked twice since yesterday early morning when it happened. She has to pick up her things in 5 days now, until I'm going no contact and moving on. Not waiting around for her "not knowing what she wants.. but this post gives me hope she can turn it around.
Coach Lee what if my ex contacted me during no contact and we talked and laughed about many things then she tells me she's not sure what she wants. I then told her that I will leave her alone and to only contact me if she wants a serious relationship with me or is willing to work things out. She was sadden. Was this the right thing to do?
Why would you want to re-attract someone who believes love is limerence? I think that's very childish, unintelligent, and childish. Everything I thought the person wasn't. 🤣
Hi coach lee, I hope you can read my message and just give a little thought about this. We've been together for 3yrs. My ex said he just loved me as a friend only and not romantic anymore. He's unsure about his feelings already. And I really felt the coldness already for months before the breakup. He let me decide what to do. I don't want to force things if he doesn't love me anymore much as I do. So I suggested we need to break up for me to move on, I don't want to be in a friend zone and for him to give the time to analyze and realized things about what he really felt about me, then he agreed. So the breakup is mutual. We separated ways. Should I need to use a "NO CONTACT RULE" and wait for him to contact me? Thank you for reading and responding coach lee
Kris, I would use the NO CONTACT with him. Obviously he's not in love with you any longer. I does happen. Let him go. TIME HEALS, and you can't be friends with an ex. Good luck to you..⚘️
What if her evil mother told me that my ex loved me but she wasnt in love Me anymore we were together 5-1/2 years . We've have been broke up. right at 1-1/2 month I've tried to get her to work it out for about for the first 3 weeks we got into pretty good . She quit answering my texts . And call .so I went with nc for 3 weeks. Now . She hasn't reach out none . She has had 0 contact with me when I seen her out she wont even make eye contact with me. she hasn't blocked me on anything. I still love her with all my heart . And I'm hurt bad how she has done me . But she acts just fine . I believe she is a severe avoident dismissive. I believe she has been seeing some body else . Should I give up . Or keep nc and see what happens. I feel she will never reach out. Because of her mother and friends. Telling her not to . I'm at a loss .
This is the most concise explanation ive ever heard wow. Someone told me that, a guy im dating for 8 months told me clearly he isnt in love. Like he wanted to be clear because he doesnt want to lead me on in case im feeling something for him. Actually I don’t lol. i still couldnt see a future with him and i am a woman who doesn’t believe in marriage or commitment and I don’t want to have children. But i wont deny i like him a lot i still do, i like spending time with him we talk and message a lot everyday. It is a feel good relationship because i can breathe and i dont have to commit. And then we had that conversation and told me he respects me, he values me and loves me but just isn’t in love. I went nuts. I wasn’t even thinking about emotions or anything like that, i mean i like him but that’s it. Now I can’t understand him. Lol. He has become more and more attached and sweet and caring and all that it’s becoming cringey. Now i dont know how i feel anymore. I felt i had to step back. It messes my head when it shouldn’t be. We were so good together and now it is all ruined i start to question my own feelings. We spent time last sunday and after that i stopped the messages and he does too. I dont know how i should react. Im now confused. I miss our daily messages and our call but i dont know how to deal with this. It is just wierd
@@danielaung691 we are still friends up until now, and we hang out on weekends whenever we are free. I’m really glad that it turned out to be a wonderful friendship :-)
I've been watching your videos since my breakup. I was with her for 8 years. It's a complex situation right now. I'm in no contact, but I wasnt at first i didnt understand why this was happening. She thought I cheated, so she sought comfort in people from work. She grew close to a guy and after telling me this I begged her to work things out she then cheated on me. We tried for a bit but she felt so guilty and she ended up unfriending me on social platforms, she moved out and I havent heard from her. What would you do in this situation? She told me a genuine I love you when we tried to give it a shot at first but she said she was tired one night and she blames herself for everything. If I stay with no contact is there any way shed contact me?
To me it is the honeymoon stage that people feel in love. Real love is when you choose to keep loving that person and making it work. If you go back 100 yrs ago they just didn't give up and throw the love away they worked on the relationship. Now days people throw away relationships after a few months because that honeymoon feeling isn't there as it once was. You can keep that stage going forever, you just need to work on things and talk to each other and let each other know what the other needs.
I think everyone should read the book called " The 5 Love Languages ". I think if more people would read this book it would help save the relationship.
But that is the point behind my comment, you have to want to.
Kim Sikorski wise words I put this to my now ex many years back, I think she has a hard time understanding that love changes and needs work
I dont know, that could be wrong too
Falling in love is an emotion, loving is an act of will, no one can keep an emotion alive forever, what we need to work is in the platform of limerance, to decide if we want to love this person and work every day in that decision....
hello! please can you reply and give me an opinion: My relationship was growing! Now I wanna share with you a little of what happened. We are really committed to each other we have a 3 years old relationship (not perfect with a lot of effort and love). I met him 4 years ago though. Our relationship was struggling since a conflict we were carrying from mistake he made in the past. But at the same time we were growing in presence as u describe in your comment we went through the honeymoon and then i actually thought that our relationship was getting stronger. Unfortunately since we have not seen each other in 1 year cuz this covid shit has my partner in another country I am gonna share what happened. I met an stranger and i felt something (love and that heart bumping) with a conversation with this stranger (since then i felt emotionally gone with my partner, i never did anything with the stranger). My partner and me were carrying a problem and i guess distance made me look for that need in another person (the conversation with the stranger) but i felt a beyond connection. Now i never saw and i dont want to see the stranger again even though my soul was craving for it.I try to not think ab that guy since it is past! (1 month ago) BUT that does not mean i dont wanna save my 3 years old relationship that cost us a lot of love and effort! now my partnef is connected but i felt emotionally disconnected (or not “in love” towards my partner)since the moment i met this stranger. Now i want to reconnect with my partner again cuz i have built this relationship with a lot of effort, love and patience. But distance was not a problem until this incident happened. Actually (one year being apart is probably what we are missing) He loves me a lot and he is planning to come to see me again this February is the best he can do. I just hope to feel that emotional bond again. Otherwise i would feel really sad, and everyday that passes i feel more far away from him. I dont wanna pay attention to the hopeless thoughts and feelings. I really dont know what to do since i have lost the interest on my partner. It doe not feel the same anymore. It is sad the thought of leaving an amazing human being that loved u a lot. I also was in love and i had the spark. Sometimes i hate the fact i met this new person.
@@alondraacosta-mora6504 just means u dont love your man and your unloyal to him if a stranger can turn your head 👍
1 Corinthians 13:4-8a (ESV) Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. ... Love never ends
When my ex-husband told me that, it was the most devastating words imaginable. Thank you for this.
How did it turn out
She told me that
She told me that after 10 years and I’m literally broken now.
My ex girlfriend told me this 3 months ago when she decided to leave me, a week before she made her decision she told me “i love you and i want all the good things in life with you, we can make this work” a week went by and idk what happened in that week but she did a complete 180 and left me over the phone. When she said that to me my soul and a piece of me literally left my body and i dont think ill ever get that piece of me back again. The pain has been something that i never could have imagined having to endure
@@PVHORNETS59😢
Coach lee.. we love you, but we’re not in love with you. I hope you understand.
😂😂😂😂👍🏻👍🏻
😂😂😂
💀
😂😂😂😂😂
It often means that she cares about us (love as in caring), but are just no longer infatuated. That initial "in love" stage or honeymoon stage is ultimately sexual attraction/infatuation. Finding a good partner is also about identifying red flags. The "feel good" chemical can blind us and contribute to us ignoring red flags along the way. Love is eventually about finding a partner that we can stand being around long term.
Right, the honeymoon stage is usually Limerence. See myexbackcoach.com/what-is-limerence/
Is love and infatuation different?Can infatuation turn into love MrQuagmire26?
I said this to my ex when I broke up with him 2 years ago. I was so stupid. I’ve loved him till this day. Dont trust your ex 100%. To remind them that they love you, you must go NC.
That is true.
Why did you dump him?
Spychu1993 loss of attraction, I felt like there was no spark.
Win Ch and now you feel like you were wrong? Why did you think that?
Daniel Cruz I came to realize that I can’t live without him. I miss him so bad. Now I can only hope that he will give me a chance. Things turn around, he now has all the power and I’m the one who has to beg. But I learned from the past that it’s not the way to go. When he begged me, I only wanted to go away from him more. So I made it clear that I want to fix things and I’m doing NC on him rn. I really have faith in it! Hope this is helpful!
Lee, this is me signing off.
After two months of no contact, word has got back to me that she has stuck with her decision and there is no hope. I did everything right, just sadly not worked out for me. I’m still in no contact as there is no point of even attempting any form of communication.
So thank you for keeping me going with your videos. They’re helpful and there gonna be very helpful for those in similar positions who may have a chance of reconciliation with their loved ones.
I wish you and everyone else the very best and big success.
Give it time man
2 months is nothing!
Lol dramatic
Mate, as the others said, 2 month's is not enough to take her decisions as any certainty or confirmation just yet. I had my ex come back after 6 months from the same reason, and i actually begged for a few weeks after the breakup. I know every situation is different, but i would just give it time.
Unknown J really? How are things now did she apologize? Are y’all on each other’s social media?
if you really love a person, no matter what you will be together, through thick and thin. (obviously not when partner is abusive) these days, love is only for few months or years. then break up. when we ask the reason for the break up, no answers given!! wtf!
Better to be single until you find the right one who will stick around.
My ex told me "I dont love you. I woke up one morning and didnt feel anything." a year and a half into the relationship. This was On July 7th, nearly two months ago. Started No Contact a week afterwards when she told me "I wasnt happy, move on." This break up was out of the blue, we never fought, never disrespected each other in any way. She said i love you like a week before she left me, and always promised she'd tell me if i ever made her mad or upset. I struggle to understand how such a beautiful thing can come to an end so quickly. Her lack of feeling or empathy destroyed me and i am now living the rest of my life making sure she made the wrong decision. I fell in love with this girl and wanted a future with her, and i still do.
Chuck Schuldiner how are you doing now ?
Similar thing for me. And like you, I have great taste in music ;) I saw her at a Slayer show shit drunk and high with another dude. Wasn't the best way to see Slayer's last show even if I made the most of the great pit action.
Keep ya head up homie
it can just happen sometimes. sometimes people, as you said, wake up and not feel anything. sometimes, and usually it’s over longer time but clearly not in your case, people start thinking and realizing that maybe they just aren’t happy. one thing i disagree with in the video is that “it’s not you it’s me” or “i need to work on myself” is bullshit. because it’s not always that case. that could be genuinely how you’re feeling and that’s the only way you know how to express it. but whatever the case may be, i’m sorry for what happened dude, i really am. but sometimes people do genuinely fall out of love and this video loves to amplify the small reality that most people are lying or using you as a backup. people genuinely do just fall out of love. it’s an unfortunate but real circumstance. good luck with whatever happened, i hope you feel better now
u still alive chuck? i thought u had brain tumor
What he is describing about the addictive feelings is the prime reason you need to go at least one month no contact
Be careful when you do go no contact and they reach out only to dump you again. Lesson learned big time!
Same happened to me. Don't go back in too fast. Make them feel the loss.
I am so sorry. These people are immature and ridiculous! Update?
@@lisabaughn thank you! Nope he was dating someone else the entire time too.
@@reneesimmons1890 I am so sorry Renee. He was probably confused and his feelings were all over the board for both your relationship and his rebound, and he missed you terribly so he reached out. But you deserve someone who will never break up with you in the first place. I hope you find that, whether it's with your ex in the future or someone new someday. Anyway, I appreciate you sharing your story so the rest of us can learn from it and be prepared if something similar comes our way. If they reach out you are desperate to feel that the storm is finally passed, but in reality you might just be in the eye of the hurricane.
@@lisabaughn thank you! Still healing. How are you doing?
Exactly what my ex-wife said to me After sharing our lives for 10years it felt like a knife going in me. Once I found out she cheated I wanted out more than her! I will never marry again!
It's their job to be hores...
It's all they know..
Not your fault....
Same thing my wife said on July 8th after 14 years together. I had been with her since I was 19. Every month since she’s texted me once or twice a month and says “hey how are you doing?” I’ve only replied to her texts never texted her first. The weird thing is though she has a new boyfriend and has changed her status on Facebook to “in a relationship”. Broke my heart again when I seen that.
don't give hope on marriage because of her. There will come someone who won't cheat on u and leave you like that
@@margauxbonnardot7173 Dont give him false hope
Let him find his truth
Don’t give up on marriage because someone didn’t want it.
My boyfriend of 6 years recently broke up with me about a week ago & I feel like I’m dying inside ever since then. He told me that he doesn’t feel like how he did before & wanted to focus on himself. I exhausted every effort to get them back. But I realized I can’t force them to love me. I’m glad I stumbled upon this video. I needed explanations and this helped me understand. I think i am ready to back away and move on. Even if it doesn’t work out like I want to in the end, hopefully during this no contact I will become stronger & it’ll be able to let go.
My wife told me the same 3 weeks ago. But she said: I care about you, I can't say that you're no one to me. But I don't feel like I used to. I need to be selfish and focus on me only. I deserve this after so many years. I think she's even having an emotional affair with some musician guy online. Clinging on to them, begging, pleading or acting desperate is not the way to go. Give em enough rope to hang themselves. In other words, backing off and let them taste life without you. This might or might not bring him back.
Update? My bf of 7 years told me that too
This is literally what happened to mea. And 6 years, too. Any updates,
Omg hello.
Rereading what I initially wrote, I shouldn’t have been as sad as I thought I was!
Basically a few weeks after this post, I had found out he had cheated on me. I was a mess, I lost myself, & i began going into a spiral. I cried for months, couldn’t eat, sleep, I couldn’t imagine my life without him.
TRUST the healing process. I am so happy I am experiencing life WITHOUT someone I thought I needed. It’s not easy. But when you start to feel all the emotions come rushing back at you, feel them. Let yourself cry if you need to. Don’t deny what you feel or that they hurt you. Acting like a tough bitch & denying the hurt only delays your healing and time to move on. You just really need to get used to being kind to yourself & telling yourself that your feelings are valid to feel this way. For months I thought i wasn’t good enough & told myself that this was some kind of punishment to feel horrible. NO. I was good enough but they really lucked out *snaps in Z formation*.
I’ve been with my current boyfriend for a year now. The trauma that comes with a break up/cheating never really goes away. But I value myself way more. I don’t put up w the bs I did before. Everything really does happen for a reason. My boyfriend now, I don’t have to beg for his love, he works w me through fights, communicates w me, doesn’t call me names & tries to understand what bothers me.
I hope you all find this peace. You will soon. I know it’s hard & you feel like it will never get better, but it really freakin does! You have to put work toward your healing.
@@ashvee8558 You are doing fine, Ashley, and you will be fine. I'm very proud of you for not "begging" or doing other things to change his mind. Good luck, and stay strong! ⚘️
It means "i'm no longer attracted to you".
wrong
It's really it is??
No not really..
Truw
It also means I'm seeing someone
I am going through this right now my ex told me that our spark was gone. And now I'm doing no contact and it's almost been 2 months didn't even reach out on his birthday
Way to show strength and self respect Nikki!
not sure i can do no contact.... i can't go one hour without wanting to contact her....
Martin Jones same except measured in seconds. Eleven years together and knowing I can share anything with my companion doesn’t stop easily. Just hope it’s working in reverse and all these women who comment that “no doesn’t work on women” are wrong about serious relationships
Update?
Nikki Gaines that must have been so hard to not say Happy Birthday 😭. Any update ?
your experience is crazy, half of the videos describe the situation perfectly.
humans are more simple than i thought
When I hear that intro and outgrow BGM, I just feel everything is gonna eventually be okay.
Coach Lee , thank you very much about this no contact "tactic".
After 7 years of relationship and after 2 months that we moved to live together , she wasn't feeling ok with us and ask me if would be ok with leaving her alone for 1-2 weeks to be ok with herself.
After 1 month of her asking me to leave her alone , we arranged a meeting to talk. After some pressure from my side she said the : "I love you but i think I am not in love with you".
That was one of the toughest moments of my life until now , I am 34 and I was speechless I think for about 15 minutes at that moment.
After that , I was extremely lucky to woke up on this video of you and battle with the only weapon I could use , the "no contact rule".
I added something more that i think it helped a lot too. I left her a message that I came to the house to pick some things up because I was planning a vacation week with a friend of mine and I wish her a good summer time (wasn't true).
After around 3 weeks , she reached out to me that she can't live without me anymore and she want me back to house with her if I still want her.
We won :) . Now I don't know what i will do because the hard thing is that she broke my heart even if she sent the message to be together again. A knife in the hard like this "I love you but I am not in love with you" I guess need a lot of time of healing.
Anyways , I want to thank you for helping me with this great idea and video , because when you are inside a tough situation you can't see things clear enough and you were my angel :)
God bless you and good luck for you and all people that going through this very tough situation.
Did you guys stay together?
No bro, we didn't finally. After 2.5 years, it was the best that would have happened.
Need time to see things clearly
@@Phadasmagoria The no contact rule should be used not to get them back, it should be used as a fresh start. I'm currently doing it, but I'm just "letting her get on with it".
@@michaelmoores2654 Actually it worked to get her back too. She texted me after 2 months and said she wanted me back home. We went on vacations etc etc. But we break the relationship after 2 months for good. The no contact rule worked perfectly, she just wasn't that good for me so I continued my life.
I've used no contact before and it does work, it's such a good feeling to be back with a ex. But, during no contact, I learned to let go, and a part of me couldn't go back to the relationship I had before. I knew the relationship had problems, and would return if we didn't change. I split up with this person more then once. It's too painful to go back and forth, and I got use to letting go until one day I didn't want to go back. I felt nothing. I finally let go all of me. I learned problems that exist in relationships don't go away unless we meet them head on, or we risk loosing..
My ex told me this the day we broke up
yup same
Lee. How about a video about how to show your ex you’ve changed?
This really helped me a lot why she broke up with me. You're the best coach Lee. You clearly explain everything!
This what my wife told me after 7 years. Before she would write on her ig I love you so much few years later she told me I love u but not in love with u worse feeling ever
Thank you, Lee. Your videos didn't help me to get my ex back but they did make me understand her more. I've realised now she's either a borderline nymphomaniac or a narcissist. Either way, I'm pretty sure I'm better off without her now.
This is my daughter's father to a "t." He said this years ago but when I distance from him, he goes crazy...even though he is in a new relationship.
My ex told me that she "needed to work on herself".. At the time, I took it so literally like "Hey maybe she does just have mental issues that she needs to work on", meanwhile she went on a trip to Europe a month later all happy like nothing in the world was bothering her, and having the time of her life.. The excuses are exactly that, EXCUSES.. Nothing but garbage.. The fact is, she got turned off by my neediness, and now I've recognized that problem, and have limited these mistakes with the new women that I've dated with very positive results.. It still would be nice if she gave me a 2nd chance though..
How did it turn out?
It's happening to me now,she broke up with me a weeks ago still listening
Facts
why did not I see your videos before breakup...:(
Told me she “loves me” but isn’t “in love with me anymore”. But now she thinks she’s in love with a co worker who’s been married for 10 years and he and his wife are about to have a baby.
Wall, this is the same girl with the rebound, right? Well, she is really messed up. She could be one of those "Sex Addicts." Have you heard of Sex & Love Addiction?" Maybe you learned what she is. Keep away from her.
00:58 No it's not, people do actually happen to feel so and it is a valid reason. Maybe many others use those words as an excuse or something, but there are people who actually feel so.
We broke up 4 days ago after almost 7 years of LDR .. was super painfull for me, i got that bs "i love you ,you are great and good person, very carring blah blah, but there is no more attraction... and after all was ask to stay in touch and not to become complate stranger,how i have special place i n heart "i said that idk... maybe ..even though i wanted to stay in touch so bad...and after those videos i decide to NC..and i didnt do anything since i was dumped.. and will not.i still love and i feel pain but i decide to work on myself..7 years is long period of time.memories are killing me..but thats live. I will be very sad that we never ever see each other again .. it does hurst a lot.. but i will not put my dignity and self respect down.out 7 yrs ldr was nice, we respected each other,travel, have fun, visited cool places..was dynamic but attraction faild...
Did she come back?
this video was amazing its exactly what happened with my ex she told me she loves me like a brother, i wish i knew all this back than, but im in no contact now shes in a new relationship, but i can sense shes starting to wonder about me again. since their honeymoon is over and im in silent mode theres very high chances shes now very curious about me, plus ive changed so much so all for the better. :) im just patiently waiting for tht guy to make a mistake which is why i think rebounds also dont work couse they dont have more than one chance if ex is waiting in the shadows :)
Why would you want to go back with someone that lower your value to the floor then, went with soemone else ? You're lowering yourself even more.
I draw a line in the sand when she fucks somebody else. Its a wrong signal to give in my opinion that you can just walk away and do something like that and you will still take her back.
The only one that can get sex is the one that got dumped.
@@swamidude2214 I was in the same boat. But when that actually happens it can be very hard to say no to someone who wants you to take them back.
Thank you coach Lee. My partner after 1 year and half 19 broke with me 6 weeks ago using the same exuse" I care about you but my feelings is not the same as yours and I don't want to lead you on. So Let's be friends instead! Then manipulating me into being friends only. Now I am on NC for 3 weeks and feel lots of anger on how he used my feelings to break up with me and pushing me basically to keep the part he wants from me and rejects the other part which comes with commitment.
Just purchased your break up Kit. Hope this will help me through this....!
update?
Coach Lee
Love You But Not In Love With You is very interesting saying, yes I have heard it before and no I have not experienced someone telling it to me nor have I expressed it to anyone....but its good to really understand what it truly means exspecially the word Limerance...Thank you Sharing 😌😌😌😌
He wants me to come by even though that he is not in love with me. He wants me to be glad that he lets me come by.
OMG Coach Lee because of you for the first time I nw know the difference between been in love and just loved.Thank you for explaining in such detail. Your the Best .
My girl dumped me 3weeks ago with the same sh*t… I doubt she will be back. Wasted 5yrs of my life to then chase something that u have to work to maintain in every relationship. Tbh, even tho we’ve earned the best versions of each other, she don’t deserve the best version of me… only one person was in it for better or worse.
Love you as a friend and mentor. So you can be sidelined pretty quickly! That means you can move on pretty quickly.
Thank you Coach lee,
I met a new person who entered my life be caring and asked me out, invited me over, kissed me and made out with me all night and right after, all of a sudden he says he is not ready for a relationship and we don't know each other much.. he became cold and distant, he offered to be friends with me but I don't feel it is okay that way after what happened, I tried so hard to talk him into dating me as it felt we had the moment, but it is just a no to him. I think I will just back off and love myself, such person doesn't deserve me. No contact Day1
Xiangyi LIU, people who do that just use you for the moment. Let it go, and don't let anyone do that to you again. You just met this person anyway, so that happened way too soon. Next time, date someone for a while and get to know them...
Well I gave everything and supported her for years as she established her career and when I loss my job she walked out. What are we doing ? She living her best life and I am stuck. I am entitled to reimbursement alimony, spousal support, health care,etc.
Married 8 yrs now but we been apart for almost 5 of those years. I lost everything and now she got her career job and doesn't want to help me at all. Wtf ? Marriage is a lifetime contract.
In April my husband of 26 years told me this. He divorced me and said that my “ cancer has taken its toll on HIM!” Then, about 2 weeks after that he gave me a letter & then told me that he had been having an affair with a 31 year old gal that works at his barber shop. That day he moved in with her, leaving me all alone. I think he is having a mid-life Crises but I’m not sure. He destroyed me. I’ve had to start counseling because he & she broke me. Having a rare form of lung cancer has been hard enough. I’ve not confronted her yet, & I think it would help me, if I could....but others tell me that it wouldn’t make a difference. What say you?!
You are so much better than that situation Samantha. I can tell you are strong and you are a fighter! he seems like a shit load of stress! Hope you are well ❤️
Creative Name Thank you, so much!! I AM doing so much better mentally & emotionally. I feel great now that he’s gone!! He hadn’t treated me good in a very long time, I am so much better without him. In fact I told his girlfriend “thank you” & gave her a hug!! Lol....
@@samanthafitzgerel4460 lol thats great samantha! Life always has a weird way of working itself out. This is my mindset which is why in my last breakup my ex was SO shocked during the breakup conversation when i was acting like nothing happened. Always trust the process. Glad to hear it!
Hes a piece of shit and probably is going through a crisis. He may come back. But that was a shittt move
Thanx to you Lee i applied no contact rule and it did work for me within 30 days my ex called me.
Mapula Lucia what happen
Hit the nail on the head here coach lee. My ex told me she needs to work on herself and needs some space. I'm on day 22 of NC and I've kept myself busy. Going to the gym reading alot more and working on my mental health. I beileve shes still in the relief stage and I'm going to conact her after 45 days just to see how shes doing nothing else. If she doesn't reply it doesn't really matter. We have the same friend group so she will see the new me. I'm down 25 pounds got a new haircut and new glasses. She will be seeing someone shes never seen before. I'm not giving in at all to bringing up anything from the past. Our past relationship is over. It was a great year but I'm going to take my time on working on getting back together and not talk about anything from our past. Just going to smile and be confident.
Don't do it. Give her more time. You'll likely see her anyway in low contact if you share the same friend group.
@@michaelsturdevant9196 why wouldn't i? Shes on 2 dating websites and I havent talked to her once im blocked on Instagram snapchat and Twitter what do I have to lose? Im not blocked on Facebook messenger it will be 46 days when i send her that money and reach out
@@Ayoooo99-p3m If she broke up with you, you need to give her time to imagine that you are doing great without her. Then she'll regret the decision. Make her reach out to you. If she doesn't, you'll have moved on. Reaching out to her is just cashing in your no contact time and you'll get nothing out of it. Be strong, man
@@michaelsturdevant9196 im not really looking to get anything out of it im not bringing up the past im not pleading with her to bring me back I'm showing I'm a man of my word and sending her money I owe her sending a short message letting her know I sent it wish her well thats it
@@Ayoooo99-p3m I just think you'll feel better if you make her come to you. You'll look awesome if you do that
Sometimes things happen for that person to love you but not in love. That's what I am going thru with the person I am with. He has put me through it with drug abuse, verbal abuse, in/out rehab and etc. I love him and will do everything I can to help him. But the feelings I had before aren't there. And it has nothing to do with another person.
I said this to my wife. But it’s all true. She betrayed me so I left her.
The more of these I watch the more I don't even want her back. I think I'm done with relationships fellas. People just don't have the same definition of love I do and don't bring the same level of commitment. Smh I really hate it here lol
My ex told me I love u but I’m not In love with u and he’s sorry and now he has a girlfriend then he says he can’t leave his house that he just bought to be with me I’ll just pray for him I’m definitely not going to answer any of his calls or text once he sees that it’s only one me and the other woman isn’t me he will realize
Lmao dis video is exactly what he said😂😂😂😂🤣 I cried n pleaded with him for one month exact. I then went into no contact it 11 days of NC n he keep texting about Random stuff, calling n saying nothing. I always tried to end d call n say I got to go. Still render help to my family. TBT NC works n some part of me don’t want him anymore. 50/50
Wyatt sista you fine he dont know what he missin
My ex boyfriend said this. It's strange he said that because he has never loved anyone romantically....he ended because he could see the pain it caused me.
Thanks coach Lee, your videos are very helpful , I wonder if you could do one for those who are struggling with the loss of being dumped, but objectively and rationally also do not believe we should be back with that person. I am sure no contact is also critic, but dealing with our ex reaction and not falling for that will be also important !
These videos are honestly just brilliant have helped me massively.
I don’t think i will ever say this. After nearly 2 months post break up. My ex reached out today for a meet up!!!
He asked if i was seeing anyone and asked if i can meet him in my city (we lives 4 hours away from each other)
Strange thing is there’s a guy I’ve been seeing lately. And I started to like him recently. I even talk to myself today. That I can picture myself being his girlfriend. I caught myself smiling when I talk to him.
And then my ex just reached out?!
I kind a want to meet him to see how I feel. One thing I know is I’m no longer desperate for him. The new guy is much better. But well will see how I feel.
Thanks to Coach Lee for the advice. I’ve been doing no contact, Never reached out to him. And been working on myself. My ex dumped me because he told his passion is gone (So I think it’s like he’s not in love with me anymore) And I was hopeless. So if your ex said this to you, Don’t give up just yet. Trust no contact and see how it goes!!
It is indeed very sad if you are not able wish Happy Birthday. Hope you get your ex back. Only a person who has been dumped can fully understand the true meaning of what is love
How are things go? Are you still with the new guy or you back to your ex? Lol
So my ex’s behavior now makes sense and why he’s liking all these guys pics on twitter and sending half naked pics, it because he no longer wants me or my body but he wants others and their bodies
Coach, this really explained this topic for me and you did a great job. My ex said she wanted more and we were not going to live together or get married. However, she was happy for me to take her out on dates with no sex or affection.
Hi Aspiring Man ...you are ok to meet your ex gf with no sex ? If no sex = friendship ?
Hey Coach Lee, I hope you’re having a good day. I just wanted to let you know you helped me thoroughly when I was depressed after my relationship with the girl I was seeing was over. I would listen to your videos and it was like you were talking directly to me, inspiring me. So thank you. By the way, I’m over here Knoxville
Message Him Via Whatsapp
+ 2 3 4 9 0 6 3 7 3 1 6 5 0.. .
@@dorathypam526 No
Wow! Looking back i can confirm this has worked in the past, several years agon my ex (2.5yr) came home one day and left, didnt say the quote just left, i pleaded for about a week then wnet into self destruct mode - partying drinking having fun etc to the point where after that first week i inadvertently went no contact due to these habbits, several months later she reached out asking how i was doing etc and asked to meet up for coffee - i did nothing happened but then later heard through a mutual friend that they were wanting to reconcile with me, but typical male i am did not see the signs 😅 anyways for the downer part. my current partner (5yrs 2 kids) has said the i love you but not in love with you and as i am now older i will focus on this advice and keep any contact strictly to kids only and let her see if she wants to do this alone, as hard as it is as we did have a great relationship, but i let some mental health issues get between us and she did try to help,
Will keep you guys updated
(Swear i am a hopless romantic sometimes😂)
I wish people were math problems sir coach lee. Then all I would need to do is use a simple formular everytime!
Also can you please make a video if you ever get time, when is it too late to get ex back?
My boy no worries life is a cycle..and never is late to get your ex.
Yes. That's on my list.
M 34 ( Scorpio ) my ex gf F 31 ( Sagittarius ) my ex broke up w/ my on 11/12/22 " She told me I love you, but not in love w/ you " It's so weird she invited me to visit her parents & best friend on 10/26/22 - 10/30/22 & came home on 10/31/22 move in w/ her for barely a week than she kick me out 11/06/22 at her apartment than the week after she broke up w/ me. We were together 1 year & 4 months. I did like all men 99% begging/pleading or telling her get back together until December on Jan 2023 did no contact
After 37 days of NC, I'm starting to think we are not getting back together (3 years relationship). Today I feel better, feeling sad but stronger at the same time. Starting to detach.
@@ivanjeffersons1125 +150 days of NC lol feeling great, dating a beautiful girl, haven't heard about my ex since the break up. I get nostalgic once in a while but it passes quickly. We both made many mistakes during the relationship but NC has given me perspective, now I'm able to see how she neglected me though the last months of the relationship while I was thinking I was the one screwing it all up, and trying to fix things (pushing her away even more). At this point I'm Ok if she doesn't come back, I realized (once again) there are many fish in the ocean, let's see. Stay strong 👊🏽
@@wilsonaparra thank you for the kind words. Happy to hear everything is going great for you. Times are still tough here but this gives me hope
@@ivanjeffersons1125 you'll get better, trust the process👊🏽
So basically if your ex says “ I wanna do things for me” “ I wanna work on myself” “I wanna focus on me and my job” “I’ll always care about you” it’s the kiss of death and you’ll never be with them romantically again?.....
My said those this and said we're never getting back together. 3 months later we were back together but now we are apart again. Words hold very little meaning.
He said that: i'll always care about you. My ass, he knew a was having a bad time and he does not care.
My husband just told me this after 10 years of marriage, so in other words he's thinking with his dick instead of his heart. We have a disabled child, if he walks out that door, I don't think I want him back, how could I trust him again?? I'm a strong beautiful woman and if he can do that, our son and I deserve better. I need a man not a child. I have needs too
I mean you be telling the truth god bless you .
I think you're just amazing. MY only regret is that it took so long to find you. 😪
It means i don't want to be with you.
I got this exact thing AFTER I caught her lining up another guy.. a rebound I assume... Maybe I'm wrong though.
I need you but I don't want you. Possession without ownership.
What about when someone hits you with that after 17 years together ? That's what's happened to me and she has moved out today !
toshlanark 27 here pal
Hurts
I know
Take one day at a time
I sometimes cry in my dream then wake up and continue crying
Any update?
In the days following the breakup, I asked her, "Do you still have any feelings of love toward me?" She said, "I'm not going to tell you I love you because I don't want to lead you on. But I will always have love in my heart for you." She has mentioned that she still cares for me and she still has feelings for me.
This goes in line with her saying "I don't know if we'll get back together. I'm not saying we will and I'm not saying we won't."
To me, she doesn't sound one hundred percent sure about this breakup. I sure miss my best friend 😔
Carl Mauch she doesn’t sound 100% about being together either. Which is very painful to accept but one must because it’s hell being with some one who calls the shots like this x
Sensor It Yeah I know. But I feel like it's better than, "We're never getting back together." The cause of this breakup was due mostly by me, so I'm hoping that by demonstrating actual change and self improvement there will be reconciliation down the road. I've known that I needed to change for a while. I became different than the man she fell in love with. We were together for eight years in a very loving relationship and we talked about marriage. We had plans for the future. I know she didn't want it to come to this.
Carl Mauch awww Carl that’s so sweet .. it made me smile 😊... I hope 🤞 u get what u want and good for you 👍🏻 good work
I wish my ex was like this 👌
Sensor It Thank you. I love this girl with all my heart and I know she's right for me. I've never been so close to someone and developed such a bond with another person. I really want her back in my life. Like I said, she was also my best friend.
Coach lee,you are something else you are so,funny full,of love and very humble .you be yelling the truth I thank god for you god bless you 💝💝💝💒💒💒
I love hearing you ! Such a great advices !!
No way! My ex has used this over and over and what he says doesn’t match up with what he does. We DO have the fireworks ...we do have the intense chemistry and he has said this repeatedly ...he calls our connection ‘otherworldly’ and no one compares. I’m in my late 40’s and he’s in his mid 50’s. He is a commitment phone....or there is always some reason why he keeps breaking up with me and I stupidly take him back. But the one thing we do have is an incredible bond...mostly sexual. So what he says is “I love you but I’m not in love with us” what the hell do I do? What is this? We are broken up presently but he came over more than a week ago and it was mad passionate love making for hours....he leaves for the holidays and I haven’t heard from him since. So now I’m in NC. He says we could never be FWB because he feels too much emotion for me and yet here we are. He’s an asshole who’ll never grow up...but please explain wtf he is doing.
You answered your own question, he is just there for the sex and sex does not equal romance, having amazing sex does not equal love, it is just amazing sex, whether he has feelings or not is irrelevant but if he does not commit, he only has enough feelings to keep you on for the sex mostly.
To sum up, he is stringing you along until he finds someone better in his mind, drop his ass now
@@DarknessIsThePath wow true that
Rachel, he is only using you for sex! You don't need someone like that I'm your life. Honey, you can do MUCH BETTER. NC with him. Remember, he is only using you. Best of luck to you..⚘️
The shit my wife hit me with man crushed my world 🤣😔
Thank you coach lee u r saving everything and helping me understand and grow.
They might say this when it turns out that they are attracted to the opposite sex.
Holy smokes, Coach Lee! Genius. Haha! I love your videos. Excellent, excellent info! Thank you.
He just told me he loves me, is wildly attracted to me, that our sex is amazing, thinks I’m the most beautiful special person, loves being with me, loves the way I care for him but doesn’t feel the feelings he’d need to feel to take this to the next level. He said he wants to feel those feelings but just doesn’t. I was actually shocked because I was so confident that he was in love with me but just recovering from his last relationship. When we were together the chemistry was off the charts. This is the content I needed. The thing that’s confusing is that our sexual attraction is fire. It’s not one of those situations where the spark is gone. We can’t keep our hands off each other and just spent a whole beautiful sexy weekend together. He only ended it because I told him I wanted a committed relationship. He still wants to be close friends and I told him I can’t do that right now.
I see so many breakups where there is no need. This was a great relationship but he got in his head. Go no contact and let him figure it out.
@@RealCoachLee thank you. I agree. I showed up as my best self, full of self love, gave him space when he needed it, showed support and understanding, took my own space and kept my life very full, never took his hesitancy personally AND we stayed up all night talking and laughing, having phenomenal sex, we are both performers and creatives, and he told me I made him safe to be vulnerable for the first time ever. It just doesn’t make sense except I believe that subconsciously he doesn’t feel worthy of me. Which isn’t a sexy feeling. So I’m going no contact and letting go of the outcome. Thanks for the support!
My ex says, ‘I have love for you’. I think it’s the same as I love you but not in love with you. He has no feelings for me romantically is the way I took it. Could anyone shed any light into this? Am I correct?
My ex told me that after 19 years of a relationship when I discovered his affair. He left us both but whenever we are in one room we become intimate.
My ex told me "she wasn't in love with me anymore, but at times she thinks what could of been between us, but its just not there for her." She told me this few months after we broke up.
I did no contact and she did reach out couple times and I notice she would look at my FB, but at this time I suspected she was in a relationship, open-relationship, and it started eating at me. So I actually contacted her and she said she was in an open-relationship and she was happy.
For my mental health I told her it's best we not contact each other because I wasn't comfortable with her reaching out to me while she was in that type of relationship and didn't want to give off the impression she could reach out to me while in that type of relationship.
I felt used and uncomfortable.
I guess I messed everything up.
Coach lee please help me man! My girlfriend pulled herself away from me as she wasn't feeling the connection and even she wasn't sure why she wanted breakup but as i watched all of your video i figured it out that i was being too needy and invested more than her.. After breakup i even cried on call to stop her but at that time all she wanted was breakup. After that i started watching your videos and used no contact. I was expecting it to work after a month coz my ex is psycho but it worked within a week and she started throwing breadcrumbs several times but the conversation was short and awkward so it didn't continue and i started no contact again. Now she's rarely online on on any social media and she's loyal asf because our relationship lasted 10 years... Its been 15 days since i used no contact now pls tell me what to do man. U ARE MY LAST HOPE
It’s funny how convenient the breakup was for her. She has a new bf now. I gave her enough grace but this weird behavior is just not something I’m going to tolerate. I don’t want to deal with this person anymore
Still in and out of no contact with the ex after a year and a half of our breakup after 9 1/2 years together
You have helped me so much and your videos are true. My ex has got back in contact after no contact. He is now confusing me though as he has said he just wants to go out as friends now and again but said hes never stopped loving me. Mixed signals and hot and cold, i no longer know what to do.x
Kat, it could be (and is often the case) that an ex will be very cautious when he is moving back toward you. It’s rare that he would just say, “I want you back.” That’s often because he recognizes inconsistency in himself. He wanted you, then wanted the breakup, now wants you again. He likely doesn’t want to put voice to that yet. So he eases in, knowing at the very least that he misses you. Avoid the temptation to push him. Let him come to you at his own pace. Patience is certainly a virtue in this situation. Here is a video I suggest watching all the way through: m.ruclips.net/video/Eat-lMhyyTg/видео.html
@@RealCoachLee thank you. I have left my ex alone as i felt that i was starting to question him over getting back together, and like in your videos it says doing that will push him further. I have also come to the conclusion that i cannot be friends because i love him too much and again as your video says why be demoted to friends. I have not heard from him for 3 days now wereas before when he said over being friends he was in contact most days. Think ive frightened him off by the questions but like i said i cant do friends. Do you think i will hear from him again? Thank you.
My ex told me he's feelings have faded but he loved me . so i started no contact
The biggest coward of a man is to awaken the love of a woman without the intention of loving her.
- Bob Marley
These days more women do this butterfly chasing than men, as they have more options simply because of possessing a vag
So sick of seeing a quote by a man who fathered 3 babies in the same year by 3 different women. He destroyed women.
Lord give me strength
you're always on point!
Many thanks coach Lee,you inspire me.
Ok, so what if they said they didn't want to break up but it was the only choice because we were both dealing with our own issues mentally? She also said she loves me but hasn't fallen in love with me? This was a year and a half into the relationship. We had plans to get a place together and less than a month ago it was "I can't wait for us to get our own place" and then followed up with, maybe in the future we can see what happens once we work on ourselves. I'm so distraught over this because we were like 2 peas in a pod and had a really good relationship. She even said I was perfect during the breakup. The whole break up was so confusing and I'm trying to process it. We can't be friends currently because she is taking her space to heal from this. Also, it was said that we both don't want to date anyone right now so we can work on ourselves. And I have no reason to not believe her because she has never lied to me. I'm so conflicted. What do I do?
Sometimes the words your ex uses are not an authentic reflection of what they're truly thinking. When they love you but are not in love with you, it still rings as a drop in emotional attraction. Having issues to deal with can evoke negative emotions in the other person which creates that drop in attraction. She might still genuinely care for you and have some uncertainty about the breakup. The best way to handle it is to do no contact. It is scary because you will feel like she's getting away but it will help her to realise the place you had in her life. Alternatively I want to suggest that you consider Coach Lee's live workshop "Relationship Reignite". It focuses on saving a relationship from a breakup/separation and then keeping it after. It includes a coaching call each month for 6 months. You can talk to Coach Lee's team about it. I think the person for this is named Johnny and you can make an appointment with him to talk about it at myexbackcoach.com/relationship-reignite.
@coachkimgordon interesting enough, I went no contact and started working on myself. Within 3 weeks, we are hanging out again and we are going slow. She initiated contact and I have a very strong feeling that we will be dating again here soon based on her actions towards me recently. Thank you for the words of advice!
Bro .. I just left my ex yesterday because she literally said the same thing. I love you, but I haven't fallen in love with you if it hasn't happened by now, I'm not sure it ever will". We were together a year and a half as well!! And almost got a house together, which fell through cause of the house conditions. We've talked twice since yesterday early morning when it happened. She has to pick up her things in 5 days now, until I'm going no contact and moving on. Not waiting around for her "not knowing what she wants.. but this post gives me hope she can turn it around.
Coach Lee what if my ex contacted me during no contact and we talked and laughed about many things then she tells me she's not sure what she wants. I then told her that I will leave her alone and to only contact me if she wants a serious relationship with me or is willing to work things out. She was sadden. Was this the right thing to do?
Vince Garza yeah Bro shows you are mature and are giving them space
Hey guys I have a update. My ex and i are now dating again...hope things work out..
@@SuperVincegg so it looks that telling her you didn't want to play games, worked...🤣
@@carloscabrera5311 yes it did..
Dude did you beg and plead at all before no contact? I'm just starting it and it's so difficult
Ya .. he told me .. he love me but not in love me .. when broke up.. that make me confused..
Crystalina Lee. It means he only loves you in A FRIENDLY way. Only to be friends with you.
Why would you want to re-attract someone who believes love is limerence? I think that's very childish, unintelligent, and childish. Everything I thought the person wasn't. 🤣
People learn otherwise. That's my point. And it's a valuable lesson for them to have.
Bro you are seriously god
Hi coach lee, I hope you can read my message and just give a little thought about this. We've been together for 3yrs. My ex said he just loved me as a friend only and not romantic anymore. He's unsure about his feelings already. And I really felt the coldness already for months before the breakup.
He let me decide what to do. I don't want to force things if he doesn't love me anymore much as I do. So I suggested we need to break up for me to move on, I don't want to be in a friend zone and for him to give the time to analyze and realized things about what he really felt about me, then he agreed. So the breakup is mutual. We separated ways. Should I need to use a "NO CONTACT RULE" and wait for him to contact me?
Thank you for reading and responding coach lee
Kris, I would use the NO CONTACT with him. Obviously he's not in love with you any longer. I does happen. Let him go. TIME HEALS, and you can't be friends with an ex. Good luck to you..⚘️
@@jannlewandowski5540 Thank you for your thoughts. Appreciate it.
Can I ask if he ever reached out to you again if you tried no contact?
Very interesting topic....
He said he love me but he don't love. Me that's the truet
What if its your wife and you can’t really “go dark”
How to do no contact when you are still living in the same house?
Watch this video all the way through: m.ruclips.net/video/EcA47MmHP_I/видео.html
What if her evil mother told me that my ex loved me but she wasnt in love Me anymore we were together 5-1/2 years . We've have been broke up. right at 1-1/2 month I've tried to get her to work it out for about for the first 3 weeks we got into pretty good . She quit answering my texts . And call .so I went with nc for 3 weeks. Now . She hasn't reach out none . She has had 0 contact with me when I seen her out she wont even make eye contact with me. she hasn't blocked me on anything. I still love her with all my heart . And I'm hurt bad how she has done me . But she acts just fine . I believe she is a severe avoident dismissive. I believe she has been seeing some body else . Should I give up . Or keep nc and see what happens. I feel she will never reach out. Because of her mother and friends. Telling her not to . I'm at a loss .
This is the most concise explanation ive ever heard wow. Someone told me that, a guy im dating for 8 months told me clearly he isnt in love. Like he wanted to be clear because he doesnt want to lead me on in case im feeling something for him. Actually I don’t lol. i still couldnt see a future with him and i am a woman who doesn’t believe in marriage or commitment and I don’t want to have children. But i wont deny i like him a lot i still do, i like spending time with him we talk and message a lot everyday. It is a feel good relationship because i can breathe and i dont have to commit. And then we had that conversation and told me he respects me, he values me and loves me but just isn’t in love. I went nuts. I wasn’t even thinking about emotions or anything like that, i mean i like him but that’s it. Now I can’t understand him. Lol. He has become more and more attached and sweet and caring and all that it’s becoming cringey. Now i dont know how i feel anymore. I felt i had to step back. It messes my head when it shouldn’t be. We were so good together and now it is all ruined i start to question my own feelings. We spent time last sunday and after that i stopped the messages and he does too. I dont know how i should react. Im now confused. I miss our daily messages and our call but i dont know how to deal with this. It is just wierd
What happened in the end
@@danielaung691 we are still friends up until now, and we hang out on weekends whenever we are free. I’m
really glad that it turned out to be a wonderful friendship :-)
I've been watching your videos since my breakup. I was with her for 8 years. It's a complex situation right now. I'm in no contact, but I wasnt at first i didnt understand why this was happening. She thought I cheated, so she sought comfort in people from work. She grew close to a guy and after telling me this I begged her to work things out she then cheated on me. We tried for a bit but she felt so guilty and she ended up unfriending me on social platforms, she moved out and I havent heard from her.
What would you do in this situation? She told me a genuine I love you when we tried to give it a shot at first but she said she was tired one night and she blames herself for everything. If I stay with no contact is there any way shed contact me?