Hey guys hope this was helpful! Leave me a comment with your thoughts? Be sure to check out my brand new masterclass on the 5 Proven Steps to Rebuilding Your Relationship/Marriage. (Warning: Spots are limited) 💪 Here is the link to the MASTERCLASS! -> relationshipsmastered.com/masterclass 🎁 Download the FREE GUIDE! -> relationshipsmastered.com/healing-partner-emotions 🗣 Join the FB Group! -> facebook.com/groups/1032426806961329/
These are really mind bending. Most of us thought that it takes two to tango, but what we don't realize is that, someone has to know the dance first so the other partner can be guided to dance as well. Thank you Geoffrey for all these eye-opening facts. More paradigms and mindsets videos please on how we can become an effective leader, leading our relationship with our partner thrive.. 🙂
I literally saw all your videos in one day. My girl and I are in LDR during these covid times, she has given up on us. I'm trying my best to get her back. I'm learning. I'm learning!
Thanks. I am accountable for my actions in relation to our separation. She has a drinking problem along side me with my pokies problem. Also baggage from my last relationship didn't help me or my wife because of resentments I had not dealt with. At least I can still once a week at this stage talk to her by phone or in person. I still have to work on myself with help with the appropriate people. Thanks for your videos 👍
here's several suggestions for making improvements in your partnership Try to communicate more Cooperate with each other more Start to give and take more (I learned these and why they work from Pavs partner pundit website )
Geoffrey, awesome video. You have explained my state of mind so accurately that It's given me new hope. I have been stuck in a cycle of negativity for years and it's a miracle my wife has stayed with me so long. She recently told me she is no longer in love with me but I'm absolutely determined to deal with my issues and try to save my marriage. A lot of damage has been done over the years as I've let this cycle go on for so long, but the time has come to take real action. Thank you.
Great my man. Glad this video was able to help. Check out this video to better understand what it means when our partners say they love you, but not in love with you. ruclips.net/video/jkgBq5XMjhs/видео.html
Hearing that statement "I'm not in love with you anymore" definitely stings, and even more when it's said out of anger, and then days later out of calmness. 🤦🏽♂️🙏🏾
Things got so tough in my relationship last night that I was actually in a place where I was looking for apartments to move into because I thought it was time to take the final steps in ending my relationship. I was ready to give up & move out. Thankfully I stumbled on one of your videos where you said when your partner resists, you must persist & wow that really clicked. I am so grateful to have found this channel. There is hope. I needed a paradigm shift. I’m excited to put in the necessary work to rebuild emotional safety in my relationship. Thank you Geoffrey. 🙏🏻
Geoffrey has described me to a T. I have been a follower in my marriage. She is currently stonewalled and after watching those videos i can see that it is me that has to change and my paradigm.
If you’re snooping down these comments looking for the answers and quick fixes just keep watching his videos, I’m telling you once you change your true values the outcome will be better. Build that framework and keep driving threw one day at a time don’t manufacture conversation I’ve been fighting with this. Let her open the door and find your changes truly untether yourself. Once you can pin point when she’s showing bitterness and resistance and able to stop that and realize why she’s acting in that matter you know you’re on the right path keep grinding there’s hope. “When the going gets tough, the tough gets going”
This video has lit a spark in me. I am leader and will inspire hope, inspire positivity and inspire change in my marriage. I will take the responsibility and work to make my marriage better
Awesome mindset Luke! Once you confidently take on the leadership role to save your marriage. She will notice and gravitate towards you as you become the best version of yourself.
That's the attitude I'm going for still breaking through but definitely way better than before. Id be flipping out on the smallest pos and now I'm chillin 😂 I actually think before I speak now
I had ALL of the wrong paradigms. That changes today, it’s time for me to become the leader I KNOW I can be. Wether or not she decides this is worth it. Be well men, keep up the good work.
This is the advice I needed- I am the problem and I need to fix it. I came to this video thinking it was my spouse but I’m the one who was hopeless and I have to be the leader
It took me only 10minues to subscribe to this guys channel. I have really messed up my marriage subconsciously but I've got hope from some of his videos because they speak directly to me. He's so good.
I wish I had found your channel 7 months ago . My ex and I broke up but are still living together with our children I tired everything I thought was right and after watching your videos and hearing you explain them made me see that my approach was wrong . She was trying to make me see it was me who needed to change but I couldn’t see the wood for the trees . I now understand that I have to be a better human for myself and trust myself before the people around me can have faith in me . I have signed up to your masterclass and I can’t wait to get help to become the person that I want to be
Hi Luke...I need advice if can help me out.. My on and off Gf couldnt sleep at night , and affecting her mental health….should I pull away or show my love or care by initiating contact? She didn’t text me for 22days She also having problem with Neck Degeneration and back pain..she is in her Menopause age… Should I be more caring like a Beta or I should Dont care like Alpha to just respond only when she reach out She want to do her own thing and I wonder whether am I the part time bf or she only need me when she want to ? I tried to arrange appointment with Doctors…she rather go on her own but medicine or gynae or chiropractic couldnt help her …she blame me is the source of her Mental Stress by me wanting her to put more effort on our relationship she feel pressure till she break down telling me she need rest..i told her she need Love but she said she want peace and to heal on her own.. How to save the relationship with a gf having Menopause and Medical and Mental health ? Today is Day 22 No Contact She said if she miss me she will contact me
Hey JunHong, So glad you have gotten value out of my videos. Have you got a chance to sign up for my free 90 min master class? Follow the link below and tell me what you think? relationshipsmastered.com/masterclass
This is my husband and I. He’s the wife in this model. It was actually something I’ve been wondering for years. Waiting, waiting and blaming him while he’s blaming me. Such a wow moment to hear EXACTLY how my current situation is and how i think about our situation. You nailed it. I was also asking the same questions...what if I don’t want to be a leader...then you were very direct again. Going to look into your master class. My biggest problem is I don’t have the ability to communicate effectively yet and his problem is he doesn’t listen and read between the lines of what I say. Glad I finally found you so I can finally get the help and guidance to clear up my communication issues that I need. Greatly appreciate your direct messages and guidance. ❤️. Am I able to learn if I’m not a guy?
Hi Kim.I need women advice if can help me out... Last month in Sep I fetch her from her dance class she said she felt dizzy because she didnt have good sleep for past few night ..she cried her health is no good..and want me drive her home I told her I am not her driver or part timer lover I want to spend more time with her like bf gf what we did in the past...she throw tantrums and cause a mental outcry that I forced her to stay when she want to go home..this unstable mental state I decided to bring her to counselling the next day but the lady counsellor pity her and told me not to stress her as she is mentally weak and her health condition may cause her stroke and bad anxiety...I say no standing firm that she is withholding herself and cause herself the anxiety to be a good gf ...i blame her it was her fault to break up with me and I dont trust her love even she said she love me .. I am feeling depressed she have not text me for 25days saying she not Breaking up but she need to rest until she miss me she will contact me...i believe this is Silence treatment which will last at least one or 2 weeks.. I panic now I should not be too extreme to her she break down and cry like a crazy women...it is difficult for me to see her this way...and i could not walk away .. Please help
You talk so nicely and explain things so well that I have started to think like a leader and my mindset has changed. Without hopes and expecting a guarantee that followers will come, I have started working on it, no matter even if I am not able to save it. You know what I mean.
Just here to say thank you, I have been binge watching many of the videos, trying to get us together, I needed this in a moment of hopelessness and desperation.
What a brilliant video. I feel inspired to take a different approach in my failing relationship, an approached that's based on leadership and positivity. I'm willing to try and not give up like before. Thanks Geoffrey!
I know that most of your advice is meant for spouses dealing with their significant others, but this advice can be followed will all sorts of relationships. I love to use your advice and apply it to the conflicts between me and my father, and it has helped me though a lot of the roadblocks in our relationship!
I've felt those paradigms, it's been hard. But I keep telling myself "love her like God loved me, even though I hated him" she doesn't hate me so that's good. It sucks, but it helps me keep pushing forward. Psalm 15:4-5 God honors those who keep their promises even when it hurts.
My brother Geoffrey is a beast the best lifestyle coach on RUclips 💯 I Iove my Asian brother!!! This hits home!! As men we must accept accountability for our actions and put in the work despite how our partner feels! We must adapt the winners/ leadership paradigm mindset to reconcile. Geoffrey thank you brother!!! This video is amazing!!
Very, very, very insightful! As Geoffrey explains about the giving up and looking for followers before becoming a leader, and I’ve tried everything, that’s exactly where I feel both of us were at one point. I truly hope that by actually absorbing and applying all of these tools that it works, but if not at least I know myself in the end will be a way better person!
As a wife, I've been the one to always "be the bigger man." I can only think of 1 situation in 7 years where my partner reached out first. Although it gives me confidence, it has however, created a negative dynamic, and I'd appreciate him being willing to make the first move.
Hello Coach! This video is more evidence of how uniquely valuable your service to men in marriages and longterm relationships is. Please be encouraged Coach! Just like all of us, you too have your own challenges. As a fellow man, business owner and sworn sojourner, I encourage you to keep up with your good work in the face of all odds and challenges. You are saving lives- literally!!! Keep going Coach Geof! We, THE MEN, uphold you and support you! 💯
Wow, such an honor. Yes, I do view my work in this way as does all of my team members. We all take pride in the work we do in helping men and women restore their relationships and marriages while teaching them how to thrive in them long term. Thank you for this comment and support.
Geoffrey, your videos plus my therapy are helping me so much, my wife and I have been separated for over a month, seems hopeless and the old me would have been begging and pleading or just given up, but now I will never give up especially with all these new tools in learning from you, thanks so much!
Your videos are so clear cut. This advice really is helping me establish the right mindset. Currently in the beginning of a 2 month break. I know she’s the love of my life, but I’ve been withdrawn and I’ve broken promises and have not been receptive of her feelings. I know I can change and become the partner that she deserves. But regardless, to become a great partner for whoever I’m meant for. Just really want it to be her. I’ll update within 2 months!
I'm not going to ask " are yall together still" but I'm a month in practice and starting to see results, little but it's something to me. Hope everything's going well!
Going to meet up with her in a few days to exchange some things of each others we still had. I don’t have any expectations. I’ve been blocked since day one of the split but she hit me up last week, so we’ll see what happens.
@@leonprinz6241 thanks man. It went okay I think. Idk, we hooked up but she expressed that she doesn’t want to be in a relationship. She also said she still doesn’t want to be in contact. I’m just confused. She expressed how much she loves and misses me but still doesn’t want me in her life. It’s pretty rough.
We have a catch 22, it’s been toxic. There’s been belittling, demeaning and no respect. The person has moved out and 100% done and doesn’t want to go back to where it was before. He said love is not enough.
I've been all that you described, yikes. Didn't have the knowledge to know. But I never dropped the hope, tried to convince myself to let go. I'm gonna push back up. for me, for her, for our future.
Spot on man yet again, makes slot of sence sir, being the leader even if there are no followers! I wed to hear this today, appreciate sir for sharing, thank you
@@GeoffreySetiawan thanx Geoffrey, your work is amazing, I was reading your communication guide over a d over again, eye opening indeed, many mistakes we offer make when we communicate with our spouses, hence leading us (me to the position where I am today) but it will change for the best. Soon as am able to, I will definitely enrol to your course, it's the best I've yet come across coz it's not just a quick fix but you get set for life! Great staff indeed
Hello Geoffrey, thank you so much for this motivation and inspiring contant, Im in a long distance relationship from past 1.6 years, usually we us to have fights and later we use to resolve as well but from last some months things had changed in her life new job after pandemic, family issues sibling marriage in this chaos she decreased giving her time and that had become an issue and some of my insecurities as well and before a week we had an argument on some issue and that was a trigger point where everything destroyed. From past week we are not talking and she just texted that she is not happy and she had stopped loving herself when she was with me and now she wants to be single and she only loves herself now and she doesn't want to get hurt anymore. I agree that I have made alot of mistakes and I didn't realised those and after watching your videos I realised those. I really don't want to give up on this relationship, I really love her please help.
awesome video very eye opening indeed... never would've thought of the approach this way.. I'm a good leader at my work but have not successfully transferred that over to my personal life.. now i can see how i can capitalize on that skill to help restore/improve my relationship...
Here are a few issue is see with the leader mentality. 1. Ignore all the issue in the marriages, ignore not being appreciate, ignore the being abused, ignore all your needs. Be the 1%, because the 1% doesn’t let these things bother them. I know, in the end of every masterclass they alway say. If she doesn’t come back you will now become a better person, a leader , will attract a better new spouse and happier than before. Win win no matter the outcome. Same play book of other life coaching masterclass. Improve your self and attract your ex back, if it doesn’t work you are now a better man.
@@GeoffreySetiawan it's hard to justify being verbal or mental abused is because you aren't a leader. But I do agree being a leader and having that mentality is a good thing.
@@Eqnotalent You seem very certain your view is the right & only view, so I'll just tell you "You do you". But remember - if you want different outcomes, you much be willing & curious to consider different paradigms, approaches, feelings, actions, etc... All the best!
I have watched this at least 10 times and cant get enough. My wife moved out and has checked out on working together, i know what i want to do, how does or can all this work when she has kids and i have kids and the issue is my kids cant be around hers. Untill i change my parenting plan. Been married 5 years in Nov.
Awesome knowledge and wisdom. Thanks so much. My wife finished our relationship after 6 years at xmas. I was totally blindsided. She said that I never shared her vision of the future. I did but I put off the marriage because of being scared of failure. Plus being slow to move forward. She said im selling the house! So it sold within 2 weeks . Now im stuck in the house with her cohabitating with me till it settles. Im bitter and twisted and angry, she’s positive and moving on😢I should have been the leader. After 6 years she’s claiming 600000!?? So that doesn’t help either as we are now going to court. Funny thing is I still love and understand her. I guess after getting Parkinson’s im not an asset anymore 😢. Any ideas or thoughts please. And by the way the video was great 🎉
Awesome video thank you for all this good advices I'm the only one that have hope in my relationship my wife says no she don't wanna work things out but I'm doing it on my own thank you for this advices
Hi Anthony, Happy this video was insightful for you and have changed your outlook on your current situation. If you’d like to learn more, you can begin by joining our masterclass here. relationshipsmastered.com/masterclass At the end of this masterclass, you will also get some information on how you can submit your application for the program. And in case you’re curious as to how life-changing this program is, or how it is MILES beyond what other programs can offer, check out the links below! Client Review Videos: ruclips.net/p/PLQ8tvyhQlPzsNm-vC_g_8SWGcJRngefgU Client Review Screenshots: drive.google.com/drive/folders/1Gp8UpRV9uMlFx763BfuQnEqN930FQb7b?usp=sharing
Hello your advice is very on point the only thing I would like you to do is reference both male and female ..example would be "if she's not coming back to you" if you could say 'he or she' would be great and a little more personal thank you
Hi Marcus Banks, First see the your situation is not unique or delicate. ruclips.net/p/PLQ8tvyhQlPzsNm-vC_g_8SWGcJRngefgU Then come join me for my free 90 min class to see if working with me would be a good fit for you. relationshipsmastered.com/masterclass
HI James, Quitting is the only way you can assure yourself that it will never work and it will usually repeat the cycle in the next relationship. Check out the link below of the people willing to bet on themselves and now are having massive success. ruclips.net/p/PLQ8tvyhQlPzsNm-vC_g_8SWGcJRngefgU
But how do you make sure that by putting yourself in a mindset of a leader you're also keeping yourself humble. So you don't get arrogant about what you're doing?
@@GeoffreySetiawan idk if you realize you have broken this down so easily and incredible to understand. without all the indirect prolonged process of going through counselors and waiting a month to get another appointment. I thank you for what you do, truly. Our marriage has been through a lot and I feel like I’m already making progress
I have a decent grasp of your information about being a leader, but how can you show your wife that you’re in the position to lead without being pushy in her eyes?
I highly doubt you'll see this but Alot of the things you are talking about is spot on but she still tells me she loves me and calls me cute little names even calls to tell me she was thinking about me but when I bring up us working it out it's always a no It has me extremely confused
This is a place that many of my client have found themselves, here is a sneak peek of what they have had to do to both understand these hot & cold messages and how they have learned to allow their partners to feel their changes. ruclips.net/video/hwzvQEm6YAU/видео.html
How far do you push being a leader? Is there a point where it is too far? Also, what do you do when partner is hopeless, you are not, but they don’t seem to follow your lead? My wife tends to always blow things up that seem to go against what she wants. It’s tough to know what to do.
Maybe I should've processed this more first, but I'm going to throw this out here anyway. Can both people be leaders together? As I'm listening, my first thoughts were of wanting to share this video with him (I've refrained for now). As I kept listening, however, I realized that I've pretty much been the leader for our 15 years. (Epiphany during editing) What happened was that I had had a series of super traumatizing life events. I completely lost "me" & when I did, I apologized for falling & said to him "I need you to take the wheel for a while". That was 2.5 years ago. I'm definitely a different person as a result of what I went through. But I suppose my questions still technically remain. Suspecting I will find the answer watching more of your videos, but will put it out there in case it ends up helping someone else some day in the comment thread 😉🌻 Can both be leaders together? Or is that not a proper thought to have here? At the moment, I can see the answers being yes, no, as well as yes AND no, lol.
Hi LoveOptomistic, Absolutely! This is the very best part about one partner learning the right skills and mindsets to be able to lead the other on how to also provide trust & safety. This is where challenges are no longer challenges, they are only growth opportunities and ones that cause the couple to become closer and more connected to one another.
@@GeoffreySetiawan Wow, thank you for the quick & thoughtful response! Already thought you are amazing, but now I feel you're incredibly rad too. Seriously, if RUclips had an "A game" award, hands down w/o doubt it would go to you. Guess I might be a tough critic, I'm not recalling ever being as impressed (definitely not in this genre). You are truly a gift to anyone that is of open mind & willing to learn their "A game". Teaching style is outstanding, material is straightforward, easy to understand, not to mention practical & doable. Found you yesterday afternoon, watched several videos & wanted to keep going (and will). Don't want to jinx anything, but I put my bulletproof on & used a couple of your tips last night. Was able to have a conversation & I made dinner which we actually ate together. With all things considered, have to say we were successful. Still in separate rooms, but neither of us went to bed angry or fighting & even had a couple laughs which were nice. Thanks Geoffrey In closing, I'm not sure yet what you charge, but fairly certain it is not enough. The impact you're going to have on the world, is HUGE! I'm hoping you're already well on your way to teaching other "Geoffrey's" to do what you do, so that they can help others in the same way you do. Do you have a collaborative counterpart for a women's version or are you just going to change your intro to say that you help people instead of just men? Whichever way things go I pray it catches like wildfire!! Matter of fact, where do I sign up for THAT masterclass, I've been told I'd be a good teacher 😁. Suppose I better master the crawl before trying to walk & run lol. You are a miraculous gift to us all, thanks again Geoffrey.
How do I maintain composure when speaking to my emotionless, cold, passive spouse as shes telling me nothing will ever work? I feel so much emotions and tend to crack when trying to be composed.
Hi Frank, Feel free to ask you more difficult and complex questions in my free FaceBook community. I notice you joined a few weeks ago. facebook.com/groups/1032426806961329
Married for 24 yrs! 7 yrs now after she filed for divorce Unbeknownst to me she was working on it for 5 yrs prior I walked on eggshells for many yrs That’s no way to live! I still love love and I would die for her. That is the man code. Let me tell you something no coach will tell you. The one who invented marriage says marriage is for life. For richer or for poor In sickness and in health For better or for worse Till death do us part I am at peace. If she comes back, great if not oh well! Still I don’t sweat it. I will stick to my vows! Marriage is NOT a contract but a vow.! The only think that ends a marriage is the death of a partner not a peace of paper from a human court and a human judge. God says the two will become one flesh. That settles it. Any questions? Read his word
Hi Kiandra, you can bring up the conversation in a creative way. Maybe asking if he would be interested in some information that you recently discovered. Then you can wait for a response. 🙂
I totally accept having an expectation is the wrong way. Its just what actions do you take to become a leader whilst respecting their choice and trying to farm
So you're saying you're talking :) You don't always have to talk about the relationship to show your partner changes in your process. ruclips.net/video/g-QMnQBbnl8/видео.html
Geoffrey id love to know what you would advise to do on a seperated spouses birthday. I want to send a card and just put from me and our dog no emotions but is this smothering him? I dont want an outcome its just so he knows I've acknowledged it. Its next week. Or do I say nothing?
Hey Kris - You realize that this is the whole point behind creating safety and the main point of the skills in the program, which is teaching you frameworks, mindsets and approaches to help your partner open up beyond what you think is possible? This is like asking a weight loss class - "What if I am fat?" Well...That's precisely the point! Take a look at any & all of my client's stories, and you'll see how many people are overcoming the issue pretty easily. But what's perplexing is you actually had a call scheduled to join the program, re-scheduled, and never responded to any of our attempts to re-confirm. We would love to show you, but we, unfortunately, had to cancel your call to make room for other applicants and we could not get a hold of you. We wish you all the best!
Its hard my wife she won't even read my messages or answers my calls for 1 week straight just asking if their ok after she left. so I gave up its been 2.months she just tells my family that I hurt her for what I did and she dont wanna see me or talk to me right know. She left with our 4 kids left our home. Before she left she was cold and kept saying she feels nothing for me.. so.idk even what to even say.
Before you step away Edgar Grimaldo, check out a few of these client stories and see that they were able to get their dream relationship despite being in dire circumstances. ruclips.net/p/PLQ8tvyhQlPzsNm-vC_g_8SWGcJRngefgU
Geoffrey Setiawan I have watched plenty. I signed up for the master class tonight. I may have missed the answer in your previous videos. Could you link me to it please
Hey guys hope this was helpful! Leave me a comment with your thoughts?
Be sure to check out my brand new masterclass on the 5 Proven Steps to Rebuilding Your Relationship/Marriage. (Warning: Spots are limited)
💪 Here is the link to the MASTERCLASS! -> relationshipsmastered.com/masterclass
🎁 Download the FREE GUIDE! -> relationshipsmastered.com/healing-partner-emotions
🗣 Join the FB Group! -> facebook.com/groups/1032426806961329/
@geoffrey great content!
I requested the guides, how long should it tame for them to be emailed? Thx Again
These are really mind bending. Most of us thought that it takes two to tango, but what we don't realize is that, someone has to know the dance first so the other partner can be guided to dance as well. Thank you Geoffrey for all these eye-opening facts. More paradigms and mindsets videos please on how we can become an effective leader, leading our relationship with our partner thrive.. 🙂
I literally saw all your videos in one day. My girl and I are in LDR during these covid times, she has given up on us. I'm trying my best to get her back. I'm learning. I'm learning!
Thanks. I am accountable for my actions in relation to our separation. She has a drinking problem along side me with my pokies problem. Also baggage from my last relationship didn't help me or my wife because of resentments I had not dealt with. At least I can still once a week at this stage talk to her by phone or in person. I still have to work on myself with help with the appropriate people. Thanks for your videos 👍
here's several suggestions for making improvements in your partnership
Try to communicate more
Cooperate with each other more
Start to give and take more
(I learned these and why they work from Pavs partner pundit website )
You are one of a few relationship coaches focusing on "married" people. Thank you.
Hi Endi, thank you for your kind words.🙂
You are a beast with this stuff. Im paying a therapist over 100hr and you have helped me 10x more!
Geoffrey, awesome video. You have explained my state of mind so accurately that It's given me new hope. I have been stuck in a cycle of negativity for years and it's a miracle my wife has stayed with me so long. She recently told me she is no longer in love with me but I'm absolutely determined to deal with my issues and try to save my marriage. A lot of damage has been done over the years as I've let this cycle go on for so long, but the time has come to take real action. Thank you.
Great my man. Glad this video was able to help. Check out this video to better understand what it means when our partners say they love you, but not in love with you.
ruclips.net/video/jkgBq5XMjhs/видео.html
Ditto
Hearing that statement "I'm not in love with you anymore" definitely stings, and even more when it's said out of anger, and then days later out of calmness. 🤦🏽♂️🙏🏾
Whats the update bro..many good news?
@@ArchieStaxx so now,do you still together?
Things got so tough in my relationship last night that I was actually in a place where I was looking for apartments to move into because I thought it was time to take the final steps in ending my relationship. I was ready to give up & move out. Thankfully I stumbled on one of your videos where you said when your partner resists, you must persist & wow that really clicked. I am so grateful to have found this channel. There is hope. I needed a paradigm shift. I’m excited to put in the necessary work to rebuild emotional safety in my relationship. Thank you Geoffrey. 🙏🏻
Geoffrey has described me to a T. I have been a follower in my marriage. She is currently stonewalled and after watching those videos i can see that it is me that has to change and my paradigm.
When you have this realization, this is going to the beginning of something better.
I am definitely right there with you on this one. Described me to a T as well. Time take action!
If you’re snooping down these comments looking for the answers and quick fixes just keep watching his videos, I’m telling you once you change your true values the outcome will be better. Build that framework and keep driving threw one day at a time don’t manufacture conversation I’ve been fighting with this. Let her open the door and find your changes truly untether yourself. Once you can pin point when she’s showing bitterness and resistance and able to stop that and realize why she’s acting in that matter you know you’re on the right path keep grinding there’s hope. “When the going gets tough, the tough gets going”
This video has lit a spark in me. I am leader and will inspire hope, inspire positivity and inspire change in my marriage. I will take the responsibility and work to make my marriage better
Awesome mindset Luke! Once you confidently take on the leadership role to save your marriage. She will notice and gravitate towards you as you become the best version of yourself.
That's the attitude I'm going for still breaking through but definitely way better than before. Id be flipping out on the smallest pos and now I'm chillin 😂 I actually think before I speak now
I had ALL of the wrong paradigms. That changes today, it’s time for me to become the leader I KNOW I can be. Wether or not she decides this is worth it. Be well men, keep up the good work.
This is the advice I needed- I am the problem and I need to fix it. I came to this video thinking it was my spouse but I’m the one who was hopeless and I have to be the leader
Love it, glad you found this video helpful.
These principles should be taught in schools
Dude you’re telling me!
Thank you for your advice. I saw my husband watching these after we split and he is listening.
Hi Akiko Hayanmi,
Maybe suggest for him to join our free 90 master class.
relationshipsmastered.com/masterclassIn
How are you guys doing now?
It took me only 10minues to subscribe to this guys channel. I have really messed up my marriage subconsciously but I've got hope from some of his videos because they speak directly to me. He's so good.
Why did you mess up
I wish I had found your channel 7 months ago . My ex and I broke up but are still living together with our children I tired everything I thought was right and after watching your videos and hearing you explain them made me see that my approach was wrong . She was trying to make me see it was me who needed to change but I couldn’t see the wood for the trees . I now understand that I have to be a better human for myself and trust myself before the people around me can have faith in me . I have signed up to your masterclass and I can’t wait to get help to become the person that I want to be
Awesome man. See you soon!
Hi Luke...I need advice if can help me out.. My on and off Gf couldnt sleep at night , and affecting her mental health….should I pull away or show my love or care by initiating contact? She didn’t text me for 22days
She also having problem with Neck Degeneration and back pain..she is in her Menopause age…
Should I be more caring like a Beta or I should Dont care like Alpha to just respond only when she reach out
She want to do her own thing and I wonder whether am I the part time bf or she only need me when she want to ?
I tried to arrange appointment with Doctors…she rather go on her own but medicine or gynae or chiropractic couldnt help her …she blame me is the source of her Mental Stress by me wanting her to put more effort on our relationship she feel pressure till she break down telling me she need rest..i told her she need Love but she said she want peace and to heal on her own..
How to save the relationship with a gf having Menopause and Medical and Mental health ?
Today is Day 22 No Contact
She said if she miss me she will contact me
Through your videos I have found I have many toxic tendencies and humbled me into being a better partner in actionable ways. Thank you
Hey JunHong,
So glad you have gotten value out of my videos. Have you got a chance to sign up for my free 90 min master class? Follow the link below and tell me what you think?
relationshipsmastered.com/masterclass
This is my husband and I. He’s the wife in this model. It was actually something I’ve been wondering for years. Waiting, waiting and blaming him while he’s blaming me. Such a wow moment to hear EXACTLY how my current situation is and how i think about our situation. You nailed it. I was also asking the same questions...what if I don’t want to be a leader...then you were very direct again. Going to look into your master class. My biggest problem is I don’t have the ability to communicate effectively yet and his problem is he doesn’t listen and read between the lines of what I say. Glad I finally found you so I can finally get the help and guidance to clear up my communication issues that I need. Greatly appreciate your direct messages and guidance. ❤️. Am I able to learn if I’m not a guy?
Hi Kim.I need women advice if can help me out...
Last month in Sep I fetch her from her dance class she said she felt dizzy because she didnt have good sleep for past few night ..she cried her health is no good..and want me drive her home I told her I am not her driver or part timer lover I want to spend more time with her like bf gf what we did in the past...she throw tantrums and cause a mental outcry that I forced her to stay when she want to go home..this unstable mental state I decided to bring her to counselling the next day but the lady counsellor pity her and told me not to stress her as she is mentally weak and her health condition may cause her stroke and bad anxiety...I say no standing firm that she is withholding herself and cause herself the anxiety to be a good gf ...i blame her it was her fault to break up with me and I dont trust her love even she said she love me ..
I am feeling depressed she have not text me for 25days saying she not Breaking up but she need to rest until she miss me she will contact me...i believe this is Silence treatment which will last at least one or 2 weeks..
I panic now I should not be too extreme to her she break down and cry like a crazy women...it is difficult for me to see her this way...and i could not walk away ..
Please help
You talk so nicely and explain things so well that I have started to think like a leader and my mindset has changed. Without hopes and expecting a guarantee that followers will come, I have started working on it, no matter even if I am not able to save it. You know what I mean.
Everything said is what’s going on in my life. And applying all of this to my life going to get me better. Greatness
This is amazing, I can't describe how much hope this video gives me. Thank you Geoffrey!
Just here to say thank you, I have been binge watching many of the videos, trying to get us together, I needed this in a moment of hopelessness and desperation.
What a brilliant video. I feel inspired to take a different approach in my failing relationship, an approached that's based on leadership and positivity. I'm willing to try and not give up like before. Thanks Geoffrey!
Geoffrey, you're a great leader! You're a blessing to so many!
Thank you!🙂
You are so young and so wise... May God open doors for you to speak to couples worldwide!!!
In a word, this is POWERFUL. God bless you.
This video just changed my whole mindset on how I need to go about fixing my marriage
I know that most of your advice is meant for spouses dealing with their significant others, but this advice can be followed will all sorts of relationships. I love to use your advice and apply it to the conflicts between me and my father, and it has helped me though a lot of the roadblocks in our relationship!
I've felt those paradigms, it's been hard. But I keep telling myself "love her like God loved me, even though I hated him" she doesn't hate me so that's good. It sucks, but it helps me keep pushing forward. Psalm 15:4-5 God honors those who keep their promises even when it hurts.
My brother Geoffrey is a beast the best lifestyle coach on RUclips 💯 I Iove my Asian brother!!! This hits home!! As men we must accept accountability for our actions and put in the work despite how our partner feels! We must adapt the winners/ leadership paradigm mindset to reconcile. Geoffrey thank you brother!!! This video is amazing!!
Very, very, very insightful! As Geoffrey explains about the giving up and looking for followers before becoming a leader, and I’ve tried everything, that’s exactly where I feel both of us were at one point. I truly hope that by actually absorbing and applying all of these tools that it works, but if not at least I know myself in the end will be a way better person!
Did it work?
Thank you for your content. It has really helped me gathering my thoughts and understanding how to do the work required.
As a wife, I've been the one to always "be the bigger man." I can only think of 1 situation in 7 years where my partner reached out first. Although it gives me confidence, it has however, created a negative dynamic, and I'd appreciate him being willing to make the first move.
Hello Coach! This video is more evidence of how uniquely valuable your service to men in marriages and longterm relationships is.
Please be encouraged Coach! Just like all of us, you too have your own challenges. As a fellow man, business owner and sworn sojourner, I encourage you to keep up with your good work in the face of all odds and challenges.
You are saving lives- literally!!! Keep going Coach Geof! We, THE MEN, uphold you and support you! 💯
Wow, such an honor. Yes, I do view my work in this way as does all of my team members. We all take pride in the work we do in helping men and women restore their relationships and marriages while teaching them how to thrive in them long term. Thank you for this comment and support.
Geoffrey, your videos plus my therapy are helping me so much, my wife and I have been separated for over a month, seems hopeless and the old me would have been begging and pleading or just given up, but now I will never give up especially with all these new tools in learning from you, thanks so much!
People give up too easily, later they go through life broken hearted.
NO!!!!
DON’T GIVE UP.... ❤️
Brilliant! A journey worth embracing as it applies to many things in life not just marriage.
Definitely!
Your videos are so clear cut. This advice really is helping me establish the right mindset. Currently in the beginning of a 2 month break. I know she’s the love of my life, but I’ve been withdrawn and I’ve broken promises and have not been receptive of her feelings. I know I can change and become the partner that she deserves. But regardless, to become a great partner for whoever I’m meant for. Just really want it to be her. I’ll update within 2 months!
I'm not going to ask " are yall together still" but I'm a month in practice and starting to see results, little but it's something to me. Hope everything's going well!
Updates?
Going to meet up with her in a few days to exchange some things of each others we still had. I don’t have any expectations. I’ve been blocked since day one of the split but she hit me up last week, so we’ll see what happens.
@@prestonjones1010 good luck buddy
@@leonprinz6241 thanks man. It went okay I think. Idk, we hooked up but she expressed that she doesn’t want to be in a relationship. She also said she still doesn’t want to be in contact. I’m just confused. She expressed how much she loves and misses me but still doesn’t want me in her life. It’s pretty rough.
I know you say this is for men but I'm a woman desparately needing what you are saying.
Thank you.
We have a catch 22, it’s been toxic. There’s been belittling, demeaning and no respect. The person has moved out and 100% done and doesn’t want to go back to where it was before. He said love is not enough.
I love the leader paradigm breakdown. ESPECIALLY loving that action step. Thank you, Geoffrey!
Right on! Glad you enjoyed this video :)
I've been all that you described, yikes.
Didn't have the knowledge to know.
But I never dropped the hope, tried to convince myself to let go.
I'm gonna push back up.
for me, for her, for our future.
She has said all of that…but how can I get the time with her to do something when she won’t give me the opportunity or time ?
just discovered your RUclips page. I am so grateful for your wisdom
In all of your videos you are giving such great advice. Good work and thank you
Amazing!! Super insightful, eye-opening! And I love when you talked about the follower paradigm!!
Spot on man yet again, makes slot of sence sir, being the leader even if there are no followers! I wed to hear this today, appreciate sir for sharing, thank you
Right on! Most people don't get it, but glad you do :)
@@GeoffreySetiawan thanx Geoffrey, your work is amazing, I was reading your communication guide over a d over again, eye opening indeed, many mistakes we offer make when we communicate with our spouses, hence leading us (me to the position where I am today) but it will change for the best.
Soon as am able to, I will definitely enrol to your course, it's the best I've yet come across coz it's not just a quick fix but you get set for life! Great staff indeed
Hello Geoffrey, thank you so much for this motivation and inspiring contant, Im in a long distance relationship from past 1.6 years, usually we us to have fights and later we use to resolve as well but from last some months things had changed in her life new job after pandemic, family issues sibling marriage in this chaos she decreased giving her time and that had become an issue and some of my insecurities as well and before a week we had an argument on some issue and that was a trigger point where everything destroyed. From past week we are not talking and she just texted that she is not happy and she had stopped loving herself when she was with me and now she wants to be single and she only loves herself now and she doesn't want to get hurt anymore. I agree that I have made alot of mistakes and I didn't realised those and after watching your videos I realised those. I really don't want to give up on this relationship, I really love her please help.
Is there a version of this for women who are in the man’s role in this scenario?
awesome video very eye opening indeed... never would've thought of the approach this way.. I'm a good leader at my work but have not successfully transferred that over to my personal life.. now i can see how i can capitalize on that skill to help restore/improve my relationship...
Glad it was helpful!
I am that wife, I am helpless/hopeless.. he ask for therapy I am going just to end it in good terms.. God knows I did all in the book 🥺
Thank you so far. It’s a piece of mind in a tough time!
Here are a few issue is see with the leader mentality. 1. Ignore all the issue in the marriages, ignore not being appreciate, ignore the being abused, ignore all your needs. Be the 1%, because the 1% doesn’t let these things bother them. I know, in the end of every masterclass they alway say. If she doesn’t come back you will now become a better person, a leader , will attract a better new spouse and happier than before. Win win no matter the outcome. Same play book of other life coaching masterclass. Improve your self and attract your ex back, if it doesn’t work you are now a better man.
Me and my 5,000+ clients do not see the same issue you're seeing with the leader mentality. 😀 Perhaps your definition of it is different to ours.
@@GeoffreySetiawan it's hard to justify being verbal or mental abused is because you aren't a leader. But I do agree being a leader and having that mentality is a good thing.
@@Eqnotalent You seem very certain your view is the right & only view, so I'll just tell you "You do you".
But remember - if you want different outcomes, you much be willing & curious to consider different paradigms, approaches, feelings, actions, etc...
All the best!
I have watched this at least 10 times and cant get enough. My wife moved out and has checked out on working together, i know what i want to do, how does or can all this work when she has kids and i have kids and the issue is my kids cant be around hers. Untill i change my parenting plan. Been married 5 years in Nov.
Hello if you need real and sure solutions, I can refer you to the man that worked for me
Awesome knowledge and wisdom. Thanks so much. My wife finished our relationship after 6 years at xmas. I was totally blindsided. She said that I never shared her vision of the future. I did but I put off the marriage because of being scared of failure. Plus being slow to move forward. She said im selling the house! So it sold within 2 weeks . Now im stuck in the house with her cohabitating with me till it settles. Im bitter and twisted and angry, she’s positive and moving on😢I should have been the leader. After 6 years she’s claiming 600000!?? So that doesn’t help either as we are now going to court. Funny thing is I still love and understand her. I guess after getting Parkinson’s im not an asset anymore 😢. Any ideas or thoughts please. And by the way the video was great 🎉
Awesome video thank you for all this good advices I'm the only one that have hope in my relationship my wife says no she don't wanna work things out but I'm doing it on my own thank you for this advices
Follower's paradigm is an eye opener
Thank you for giving me hope in my marriage.
Hi Chase,
What did you find most eye-opening in this video?
Thank you. This is very inspiring, I'm on the middle of this context. and Im ready to become a leader with out expecting anything else.
HELL YEAH!!!
This video changed my outlook
Hi Anthony,
Happy this video was insightful for you and have changed your outlook on your current situation. If you’d like to learn more, you can begin by joining our masterclass here.
relationshipsmastered.com/masterclass
At the end of this masterclass, you will also get some information on how you can submit your application for the program.
And in case you’re curious as to how life-changing this program is, or how it is MILES beyond what other programs can offer, check out the links below!
Client Review Videos:
ruclips.net/p/PLQ8tvyhQlPzsNm-vC_g_8SWGcJRngefgU
Client Review Screenshots:
drive.google.com/drive/folders/1Gp8UpRV9uMlFx763BfuQnEqN930FQb7b?usp=sharing
How is everyone getting on in their relationships right now???? Let's build together 🙌
Thanks a lot for the good message
Hello your advice is very on point the only thing I would like you to do is reference both male and female ..example would be "if she's not coming back to you" if you could say 'he or she' would be great and a little more personal thank you
I cheated on my wife. I emotionally cheated on her. I need the tools to win her trust and respect back. PLEASE HELP ME WITH THIS DELICATE SITUATION.
Hi Marcus Banks,
First see the your situation is not unique or delicate.
ruclips.net/p/PLQ8tvyhQlPzsNm-vC_g_8SWGcJRngefgU
Then come join me for my free 90 min class to see if working with me would be a good fit for you.
relationshipsmastered.com/masterclass
You are the best
Hey Aman, thank you for your support.
I will keep delivering you the very best relationship content out on RUclips.
Thank you! Great advice. Much needed.
Love it!
Geoffrey!! Wow bro! You’re amazing
Unfortunately I saw this to late. Wish I would've tried harder earlier.
We'll damn. I was going to quit then see I fall into these paradigms.
HI James,
Quitting is the only way you can assure yourself that it will never work and it will usually repeat the cycle in the next relationship. Check out the link below of the people willing to bet on themselves and now are having massive success.
ruclips.net/p/PLQ8tvyhQlPzsNm-vC_g_8SWGcJRngefgU
But how do you make sure that by putting yourself in a mindset of a leader you're also keeping yourself humble. So you don't get arrogant about what you're doing?
You’re so right I’m mad at you.... I’ve subscribed. Thanks for the insight
Lol, so thank for your support.
@@GeoffreySetiawan idk if you realize you have broken this down so easily and incredible to understand. without all the indirect prolonged process of going through counselors and waiting a month to get another appointment. I thank you for what you do, truly. Our marriage has been through a lot and I feel like I’m already making progress
Thank you
Wow this has helped me tremendously
Hi Jamie,
So glad you are finding my videos helpful. What did you find to be most eye-opening?
You are right. It is not a crime to be in love with someone who has rejected you. Also was your love just based on how someone else felt?
Hi there! Not sure I understand your question?
Thank you for this
Excellent Geoffrey!
Glad you enjoyed it
I have a decent grasp of your information about being a leader, but how can you show your wife that you’re in the position to lead without being pushy in her eyes?
Does this apply to being the wife in a marriage and he asked to separate? Seems like it does.
Absolutely! either partner can save their marriage alone.
What kind of actions can i do to show this leadership is there examples???
I highly doubt you'll see this but Alot of the things you are talking about is spot on but she still tells me she loves me and calls me cute little names even calls to tell me she was thinking about me but when I bring up us working it out it's always a no
It has me extremely confused
This is a place that many of my client have found themselves, here is a sneak peek of what they have had to do to both understand these hot & cold messages and how they have learned to allow their partners to feel their changes.
ruclips.net/video/hwzvQEm6YAU/видео.html
How far do you push being a leader? Is there a point where it is too far? Also, what do you do when partner is hopeless, you are not, but they don’t seem to follow your lead? My wife tends to always blow things up that seem to go against what she wants. It’s tough to know what to do.
This is priceless
Can’t download your guide from page asking for email. Can you let me know how much the program costs? Have no idea if I can afford this
What if she says she doesn’t feel the same way she used too and she doesn’t think she ever will?
give up.
This is normal. You have to push thru the resistance and provide the right leadership
Just leave her! Life is too short! Women never take the blame for anything.
You have to LEAD them.
Maybe I should've processed this more first, but I'm going to throw this out here anyway. Can both people be leaders together? As I'm listening, my first thoughts were of wanting to share this video with him (I've refrained for now). As I kept listening, however, I realized that I've pretty much been the leader for our 15 years.
(Epiphany during editing)
What happened was that I had had a series of super traumatizing life events. I completely lost "me" & when I did, I apologized for falling & said to him "I need you to take the wheel for a while". That was 2.5 years ago. I'm definitely a different person as a result of what I went through. But I suppose my questions still technically remain. Suspecting I will find the answer watching more of your videos, but will put it out there in case it ends up helping someone else some day in the comment thread 😉🌻
Can both be leaders together? Or is that not a proper thought to have here? At the moment, I can see the answers being yes, no, as well as yes AND no, lol.
Hi LoveOptomistic,
Absolutely! This is the very best part about one partner learning the right skills and mindsets to be able to lead the other on how to also provide trust & safety.
This is where challenges are no longer challenges, they are only growth opportunities and ones that cause the couple to become closer and more connected to one another.
@@GeoffreySetiawan
Wow, thank you for the quick & thoughtful response! Already thought you are amazing, but now I feel you're incredibly rad too. Seriously, if RUclips had an "A game" award, hands down w/o doubt it would go to you.
Guess I might be a tough critic, I'm not recalling ever being as impressed (definitely not in this genre). You are truly a gift to anyone that is of open mind & willing to learn their "A game". Teaching style is outstanding, material is straightforward, easy to understand, not to mention practical & doable. Found you yesterday afternoon, watched several videos & wanted to keep going (and will).
Don't want to jinx anything, but I put my bulletproof on & used a couple of your tips last night. Was able to have a conversation & I made dinner which we actually ate together. With all things considered, have to say we were successful. Still in separate rooms, but neither of us went to bed angry or fighting & even had a couple laughs which were nice. Thanks Geoffrey
In closing, I'm not sure yet what you charge, but fairly certain it is not enough. The impact you're going to have on the world, is HUGE! I'm hoping you're already well on your way to teaching other "Geoffrey's" to do what you do, so that they can help others in the same way you do. Do you have a collaborative counterpart for a women's version or are you just going to change your intro to say that you help people instead of just men? Whichever way things go I pray it catches like wildfire!! Matter of fact, where do I sign up for THAT masterclass, I've been told I'd be a good teacher 😁. Suppose I better master the crawl before trying to walk & run lol.
You are a miraculous gift to us all, thanks again Geoffrey.
How do I maintain composure when speaking to my emotionless, cold, passive spouse as shes telling me nothing will ever work? I feel so much emotions and tend to crack when trying to be composed.
Hi Frank,
Feel free to ask you more difficult and complex questions in my free FaceBook community. I notice you joined a few weeks ago.
facebook.com/groups/1032426806961329
I feel all 3
Married for 24 yrs!
7 yrs now after she filed for divorce
Unbeknownst to me she was working on it for 5 yrs prior
I walked on eggshells for many yrs
That’s no way to live! I still love love and I would die for her. That is the man code. Let me tell you something no coach will tell you.
The one who invented marriage says marriage is for life.
For richer or for poor
In sickness and in health
For better or for worse
Till death do us part
I am at peace. If she comes back, great if not oh well!
Still I don’t sweat it. I will stick to my vows! Marriage is NOT a contract but a vow.!
The only think that ends a marriage is the death of a partner not a peace of paper from a human court and a human judge.
God says the two will become one flesh. That settles it. Any questions?
Read his word
How much is the masterclass
How do I share with this my ex with out being obvious, LOL!
Hi Kiandra, you can bring up the conversation in a creative way. Maybe asking if he would be interested in some information that you recently discovered. Then you can wait for a response. 🙂
What is your thought on the popular no contact after a long term break up and still living together?
He has videos on this
How bout when she says she tried to pretend everything was ok so not trying but pretending
Hello Geoffrey I m Alejandro about the master class is it through a zoom or in person or a download just curious because no way I could meet in person
Alejandro, feel free to look at the calendar and see if there is a time that works for you.
relationshipsmastered.com/masterclass
Geoffrey how can we do that if we arnt talking ? Only about the kids. How do you become the leader ?
Agreed if your only speaking about kids or pets what do you do? Just work on yourself and do whF you need to do yourself?
I totally accept having an expectation is the wrong way. Its just what actions do you take to become a leader whilst respecting their choice and trying to farm
So you're saying you're talking :) You don't always have to talk about the relationship to show your partner changes in your process. ruclips.net/video/g-QMnQBbnl8/видео.html
Jason -- See my comment to inserter400 below.
Yes sir, how do u do that?
Geoffrey id love to know what you would advise to do on a seperated spouses birthday. I want to send a card and just put from me and our dog no emotions but is this smothering him? I dont want an outcome its just so he knows I've acknowledged it. Its next week. Or do I say nothing?
what if she cheated on me and still can’t admit it? how can i forgive forget and lead? isn’t that asking to much of me?
Watch my latest video on this -> ruclips.net/video/LWzTNuK9aJc/видео.html
What if she doesn't want to share or open up?
Hey Kris - You realize that this is the whole point behind creating safety and the main point of the skills in the program, which is teaching you frameworks, mindsets and approaches to help your partner open up beyond what you think is possible?
This is like asking a weight loss class - "What if I am fat?" Well...That's precisely the point!
Take a look at any & all of my client's stories, and you'll see how many people are overcoming the issue pretty easily.
But what's perplexing is you actually had a call scheduled to join the program, re-scheduled, and never responded to any of our attempts to re-confirm.
We would love to show you, but we, unfortunately, had to cancel your call to make room for other applicants and we could not get a hold of you.
We wish you all the best!
It's impossible...she always thinks the worst of me.
Its hard my wife she won't even read my messages or answers my calls for 1 week straight just asking if their ok after she left. so I gave up its been 2.months she just tells my family that I hurt her for what I did and she dont wanna see me or talk to me right know. She left with our 4 kids left our home. Before she left she was cold and kept saying she feels nothing for me.. so.idk even what to even say.
Before you step away Edgar Grimaldo, check out a few of these client stories and see that they were able to get their dream relationship despite being in dire circumstances.
ruclips.net/p/PLQ8tvyhQlPzsNm-vC_g_8SWGcJRngefgU
How do you respond to your wife when she only wants to discuss a divorce settlement?
Corey -- How much of my other videos have you watched? I answer this question directly and indirectly in many of my other vidoes.
Geoffrey Setiawan I have watched plenty. I signed up for the master class tonight. I may have missed the answer in your previous videos. Could you link me to it please
I’m