Word Salad and Linguistic Ambiguity
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- Опубликовано: 6 июл 2024
- Word salad is a term often described as a form of manipulative communication which seems to go round in circles, is confusing, inaccurate and duplicitous. It's aimed at deflecting, avoiding issues and shutting down conversations. It involves linguistic ambiguity which can mean nothing, or mean any number of things so keeps other having to guess or decipher what is going on.
Commonly used by narcissistic people as a form of gaslighting, or politicians to avoid answering specific questions, this video outlines some of the common reasons why people use word salad and gives examples.
The Strawman Fallacy • What is the Straw Man ...
Recognising Gaslighting • Recognising Gaslightin...
Responding to Gaslighting • Recognising and Respon...
Psychological Abuse and Manipulation • Psychological Abuse an...
Please feel free to suggest any topics you might like me to cover in future videos in the comment section.
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#wordsalad #linguisticambiguity #gaslighting
Please feel free to suggest any topics you might like me to cover in future videos
Narcissists and financial abuse
Narcissists can p0rn use, especially in a marriage
Future faking, especially when it comes to promising therapy but never goes
Betrayal trauma from lies, p0rn, and other forms of abuse
I would like to learn more about emotional blackmail when you ignore a narcissist. Intellectually, I know I shouldn’t feel guilt and continue to internalize it, but I do. (Also, i started therapy today mostly because NC isn’t possible.) 🌷
Hi Mr. Magee. I think it would be interesting if you teamed up with Dr. Carter in the US, who has a popular You Tube channel. You both have a good sense of humor around this difficult topic. Feels like your temperaments are compatible. And hey, despite the seriousness of the topic, maybe we need to laugh a bit? Just a thought. Feels like you’re bros over the pond❤
I’d be open to that if he is 👍
Can you one day discuss the concept of self righteous narcissists. They seem to be a sub group of narcissist
Thank you. When the narcisists use their word salad you feel confused , and can not make out what they are talking about. It is Absolutely nonsensical. Thank you Darren😊
Thank you Darren. I would also like to learn more about subtle linguistic ambiguity. Double meaning, half truths, underhanded put downs, plausible deniability, veiled contempt....
Hi Darren, as I listened I became aware that I've started to use word salad myself when dealing with my narc mum. She constantly probes for information especially as she's noticed her scapegoat is changing. I now withhold all news about myself, good or bad, to prevent her gathering 'fuel' to use against me. I sound like a politician, I dodge questions and am becoming quite adept at diverting the conversation😄. It can be exhausting and makes me realise just how much energy a narc must have to use daily just to maintain their lives! At least I can switch off back to normal when I leave.❤🖖
The example you gave about not paying back the coffee had me laughing helplessly--it was so typical! Thanks for the humor on a serious topic.
Great video! It is very interesting how I rarely can pin them down on something. One day they think this way, two days later they don't care at all about the thing they ranted on for hours. It's a game to them. A pitiful game. You can't believe anything they say. They just desire greatly to be contrary.
It can get a little tricky when a controlling person actually *is* delusional. Manic with psychosis or schizoaffective. The salad gets more and more bizarre, but/and they still enjoy "defeating" the other person, gaining that ugly smugness one can see from a mile away.
My very wise friend says ‘we always have a right to clarity’. I try to remember this when dealing with anyone suspish. There’s no shame in asking for clarification. Thanks again Darren! ❤❤
Yes, to a video about subtle linguistic ambiguity. When I hear people talk about how they were abused within a dysfunctional family it sounds like normal straight forward abuse (if there is such a thing). The type of abuse that is within word traps, and preemptive attacks, while being near impossible to explain, its difficult to unsee once it's been experienced.
Hoarding and narcissism, you’ve described my mother so well I wonder if there’s a connection there too
Thank you so much! Your content is top notch
I believe there is a connection. Hoarders are supremely self centered and unable to see how their hoarding affects others. No empathy. My mother hoarded too.
My Mother is a narcissist who hoards too. Both are about control.
The first time I heard the term “word salad,” I laughed out loud. I knew exactly what it meant. It took years for me to realize that the confusion, illogic, contradiction, and general nonsense were intentional. I would love to hear more about language and narcissism.
I would definitely welcome more information regarding the topic. Your videos are so helpful, informative, and very much appreciated.
Thank you so much for this video. Word salad is the main daily annoyance with narcissists, but very few people can describe it as well as you do.
When I learned what was word salad, I started to understand how I got caught up each time in endless "conversations" that led nowhere. I always felt bad after it as the narcissists always play with our emotions and not only with our logic.
So, yes, I am very interrested to watch more videos on the subject!
I got a great example of word salad (many actually). But one of my favorites was after my younger sister and I got into a fight about money she owed me. Basically I let her use my car while I was deployed in the Army, cuz she was pregnant and needed to get to her checkups. She promised to just pay the insurance for the car while she was using it. Long story short, she never paid me a dime, and when I confronted her about it, her and her new husband tried to guilt trip me and shame me for wanting to be payed back. Then I got in a big argument with her new husband (they are divorced now lol). And after I pointed out what a piece of trash he was, he said (and I quote),
“Well we ACTUALLY were planning on paying you back! BUT since you got mad that we haven’t paid you back yet, now we ARE NOT going to pay you back!!!
So since I got mad that they payed me nothing in 3 years, there punishment to me was going to be to continue paying me nothing……
I appreciate your channel so much. You are literally helping me regain my sanity and myself. Thank you so, so much ❤
what sticks out to me is the tone and what they DON'T say.
This info is so enlightening to anyone who’s been exposed to or affected by a true narcissist . For me, it’s so helpful in recognizing ‘my’ narc’s devious intentions.
Thank you very much Darren! Your knowledge on narcissim definately will help so many people in the long run. We trule appreciate your efforts and passion.
Oh THAT ONE!!.. " I'll never buy you another coffee again!"
*yes, I caught that tail end!ha!*
They are AWESOME at the "I'll never [fill in the blank] again" stuff......that's when I'm aware I've hit a nerve unknowingly with these diabolical a$$es.....
Thank you Darren!!!
Hi Darren, thank you for another excellent dissertaion on narcissistic tactics and behaviors. I have learned a great deal from your videos and I greatly appreciate what you do. From what I have been able to learn, a narcissist will be a narcissist for their entire adult life, and it is rare that they get better and/or change. A few days ago, I had the realization that this means there are no troughs in the graph of narcissism, just ever increasing peaks, that continue to expand with the population. Personally, I believe Donald Trump is an excellent example of our ignorance of narcissisism. I don't want to get political as narcissism is everywhere, however, in the form of a hierarchical structure, where the narcissist is at the top, devastation occurs. We have examples of this in all countries, whether it be in politics, conglomerate corporations, families, or any other denomination or group. It is incredibly acute when narcissism is endured on a personal level, and with smart phones and the internet, there are more avenues of exploitation, manipulation, coercion, and control. Ultimately, this translates into how important the work you are doing is, as the awareness of narcissism is key. Traingulation, manipulation, coercion, and control, are templates of protocols employed by governments, cartels, cults, corporations, religious institutions, as well as many other permutations of organized groupings of people. Our knowledge of it is key. Thanks again for all of your hard work and efforts.
Well I don't want to get political. But their are endless examples of great people who did very great things that probably also had some aspects of Narsisisum. Yes President Trump did some very great things! 🇺🇸
"What is meant by word salad" is the funniest thing I've heard today. It's like asking what: "If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bullshit.” .....means....
Another very good video! Great explanation of word salad with examples which really helps. I would love to hear more information about linguistic ambiguity. Thank you!
Yes
I’d love to hear more examples of word salads and ambiguity. How about when a narc says something he will do but it never happened because of multiple excuses.. often related to work load and unforeseeable situations that cannot be checked because of long distance relationship..
❤❤❤❤❤ “….the coffee I bought you 12 years ago…” 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Thank you! Glad i found your content... i have been absorbing everything i can about this. I am currently living this life... the last four years have been utter hell! I have been put in jail and probation due to false allegations from the mother of my child and her crazy making. Currently in the corner of are home on a cot vigorously awaiting the end to this madness.
I would absolutely be interested in hearing more about word salad
Yes, please; I'm interested in more videos on subtle linguistic salads and twists!
In my late teen years, I developed this style of communication that was akin to... Spock from Star Trek. You know, formal, unemotional, precise, firm, logical. Today, I think it was a maladaptive defense to the abuse I'd suffer from my Narc Mother.
Any emotion I displayed would be preyed upon. Any imprecision, if it was 9.8, but I said it was 10, my entire argument was null and void. A hint of hesitation or doubt and she'd be walking over me.
Soon, I had to write down my replies, because she just wouldn't listen either way. And then the replies became enumerated lists, splitting every single hair, explaining that, yes, water IS wet, torturing every last conceivable ambiguity out of everything, writing ten pages to convince her that 2 + 2 is in fact 4.
Then she just started resorting to physical violence. And when I'd defend myself, she'd tell everyone I attacked her without provocation.
Needless to say, I developed a very... antagonistic view of what conversations are supposed to be. Made me great fun at parties, I'm sure.
Yeaaa! Love the end
There is non-stop chatter coming out of his mouth. Some days I feel like I am in an interrogation
one of the worst is the gaslighting word salad they start yelling then leave one alone in a conversation, they change the subject and then immediately and calmly behave as if I started the discussion (if it is one) and following one room to room until one cannot rest along with all the sarcasm.
I love your coffee analogy! Would like to learn more about subtle linguistic ambiguity please. Thank you for these videos
BE JESUS , THE " I LIKE TO FEEL LIKE IM IN CHARGE " EMAILS JUSTY CREASED ME UP SO TRUE......
They want to provoke reactions, get power. That's why their mind won t let them utter too many complete sentences, facts.
Great stuff!
Thank you for these videos, so helpful!
"Word salad" in the Narcissistic flavour seems to be a misnomer. I propose "sentence salad". It would:
a) differentiate from Psychosis
b) it is more accurate
c) it is a slightly clearer term, although the problem is when phrases and circular reasoning are used 😂.
Thank you for this video.
Sometimes a narcissist uses word salad because he’s very ignorant and also suffers from dementia, which prevents him from stringing a coherent sentense together.
My husband narc. is like all that was said in this video,I'd like more videos like this one thankyou!
I absolutely love these videos, and crack up laughing every time because they define so many issues I see.
A topic of interest perhaps? "The Shame that Binds Us" J. Addressing family dysfunction of keeping secrets. Thank you!
Referencing the book by John Bradshaw "Healing the Shame that Binds You".
Darren, you have given an excellent presentation, expanding upon this topic. What I've had to deal with are people who watch Fox news and them, taking their cues from how the actors act on TV, won't let me complete a sentence by talking over what I'm saying. I'm not sure how to deal with this, and I often just give up on the subject matter altogether. Any suggestions?
I feel the same way about people who watch CNN and MSNBC and all the other lying propaganda “news” sites
i have noticed more and more people speaking with that ridiculous tv cadence. cashiers, medical office personnel, teachers, etc. you tubers...once that speech pattern begins, i just turn it off. happens a lot lately
@@evelynkorjack2126 Thanks Evelyn, it's unfortunate how people are mimicking the acting vibe they're getting from the talking heads on TV, here it's more a problem with a sibling and one neighbor, hopefully we can get past this temporary malaise affecting people's minds..
I have the same problem with people who watch CNN , MSNBC AND NPR!
This is just spot on. I used to wonder how someone can produce such a huge word count and say so little. Also, her diatribes, written and verbal, are as vague as they are melodramatic. Literal theater. Even goes back and quotes herself. Shows how genuine it isn't.
I will add one phrase that’s a tip-off for me: “You don’t understand” or “You need to understand…”
This fits my narc brother to a T. It obviously makes him feel good about himself, as if he’s “winning”, to send me long word-salad email diatribes and accusations and grievances. If I tried to suggest anything positive in the situation or anything he might do to help himself: “You don’t understand”!
In 2012 - I remember the day - I tactfully suggested the point that he must have some role in his interpersonal dramas, “which is great in a way because then you can change the pattern”.
“YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND!”
The malice started. The terrorism-by-email. The lies, the abuse, the threats. He literally tried to destroy my family relationships and my career. I literally ended up in hospital once from stress. I had to block him to stay safe. He tells others that I cancelled him, and that he knows the real me.
After a long and difficult time (and therapy on my part) I unblocked him. I am in a place where I can “yellow rock” him. I check the first sentence of his emails and if it looks dodgy, I delete. If it’s neutral and short I respond using BIFF - brief, informative, friendly and firm!
And I sure have learned a lot! Including from these videos - thank you!
So this is what my mother and sister do. My mom will say something like "I want that" or "Move that from there to over there". And I'm the crazy one for not knowing what "that" is or where to put it. Yet my sister seems to understand her, making me think I'm living in an alternate reality. lol
admittedly, as a creative writer, i ramble and waffle and go off on tangents, usually when using literature as an emotional outlet. it's almost like venting. i find myself doing it a lot more when mentally unwell, strung out after days without sleep, though that's also when i get some of my best work! still, i undoubtedly need to go back and do some editing.
kamala harris
👍
Informative! It can be related to oration that requires control over audiences. On the other hand, books of greatest authors were trashed and found revival years later because they were ahead of time. Herd mentality is where world salads are very useful. Also to mention, if you read same book a decade later, it may be interpreted differently. So did the book change👈
What about people using NLP type of language in supposedly normal conversations? Or just really odd, unexpected words and phrases (when the person is in their right mind, so it sort of blindsides you) ? How do you respond to this kind of thing ? 😊xx
Watched the premiere and RUclips wouldn't let me comment--either in chat or here. Had to wait until the premiere ended to comment now. Weird...
I know this isn't the point of the video, but I love your accent.
You could read audiobooks or be a hypnotist.
Dr. Magee, are preachers (men of the cloth) susceptible to narcissism and word salad? I broke up with one (a religion that allowed marriage) and he has left me shattered, hollow and without purpose. Why? He did a lot for me in the physical sense in that he would get things done, take me places, get things but when I'd ask him about what he meant about something that sounded odd he would twist the story around, deflect, tell me that's not how he meant it and that I didn't understand his culture and people. I remember I started to record our encounters in voice notes because I frequently would forget details of our conversations , ones that seemed odd. I have now tons of recording and a feeling that I am the bad one, the narc, the selfish one. I even wrote him a lengthy apology message for how things ended to which I received no response. Which is OK. But I'm not the person I was last year, the year before meeting him. He was a habitual liar also, even about the smallest things and hardly ever ever showed affection and deeply lacking in empathy, even for his own children. But why do I feel like I'm the only bad one here?
You are not the bad person here. You were mistreated. You feel confused because his behavior was confusing. You have had a very rational response. And all of those things he used to do for you-- they seem to be love bombing. It is good that he has not responded to you. And if he does contact you, do not answer. You need to stay away from people who manipulate you and question your being. Establish your boundaries and don't let them be crossed.
word salad = hypnosis aggression
X said...l know, l have been a B to you. But, l mean well....
If possible walk away. Not worth engaging.
my sister is a master of word salad total narcissist
yup, they will try to stop you from talking by picking up your wrong grammar, your pronunciation, and make you look stupid and bad in english etc, without focusing on the topic.
What is a woman? 😅 A question that tends to provoke word salad…
The examples at the end, Kamala Harris does them all
i saw a tv thing with her supposedly speaking with high school students. she spoke to them with that sing song kindergarten teacher (sort of like the tv newscasters and some "educational" geographic shows) the look on the faces of the kids was priceless
Listen to Kamala Harris. She speaks in circles all the time… word salad.
All politicians do this. They are trained to do this so that they can't be held responsible for their words. They can say you just didn't understand my meaning if called to account.. Trump does this all the time. It's ridiculous.
Scorpio male ♏️ and where is the justice, looks too me like excuses, after excuses too have no issues when they do wrong!
let me be perfectly clear... i think this is important... you have to remember... bingo. political speeches anyone?