Fatma, thank you for always being yourself. That's why i just love plugging in and watching your videos. So refreshing & realistic. I feel accepted just by watching.
I’m 33 and single and recently asked this guy to stop calling me by the third call because I noticed he was asking questions on my salary and said he does not mind staying home with the kid and me work when we have them. The very thought of ever talking to him again was suffocating to me , we have a generation of weak men who want to rely on women these days . As a woman , run ! Either a man adds to your life or he will subtract from it and the latter will always leave you destroyed, bitter and resentful because women cannot respect a man who does not want to be a man
Not saying you think like this or feel this way. According to a lot of muslims today, the prophet (SAW) is not a man, the thing most muslims believe today means that the prophet (SAW) was not a man. In the prophets house sometimes two months would go by without them lighting the fire to cook something, if that happened today what would people say about that man? sincerely speaking what would people say? A man is not defined by how much he makes, he is defined by how much he follows his deen, so i pray for you that Allah brings you a man who follows the deen as best as he can because that man will treat you right for the sake of Allah and that is true love.
@GHOST-ec3nx a husbands job is to provide for his family. The Prophet pbuh provided for his family. His wives did not go out to work for him. They were tested with famine.
@@MissSraG And the men today are providing but it is not enough, this and this has to be provided even before marriage and when it comes to marriage a huge burden is placed on the shoulders of the men. The prophets wives were patient and followed the deen, can you say that about most muslim women today? The prohets wives didn't give him pre conditions before marriage, they didn't ask for big weddings with music and dancing. And where did i say men shouldn't provide, a man who follows his deen will provide.
@@GHOST-ec3nx the mothers of believers had separate homes though. Nowadays if you bring it up the groom and his family will be offended. Also the Prophet SAW had to work for spreading deen, but today's men don't have money because they're too lazy to work. They want a working woman who cooks and cleans and is fit too.
@@taniaslam8429 I don't deny that there are these types of men, I know these types of men, men who dont care at all and want to misuse women to fulfill their desires but what's concerning is its just too one sided, the man is expected to carry a lot more than he can handle and that is set as the standard, if a man offers less than that then he doesn't deserve anything. Not saying women should work. Men and women aren't showing each other mercy. Its a transactional relationship.
This video is both serious and funny at the same time. Women say men are the problem, and men say women are the problem. The problem is that neither has found their match. In the process, we forget that this life is about having a relationship with Allah (swt). We should marry and have a family to please Allah (swt). And we will only find true happiness when we do all of these things with the intention of pleasing Allah (swt).
You're right, but what makes women think that men are the problem is that men nowadays have a tendency of not proposing to women anymore. As a woman, I wonder what could I do if nobody's proposing? Women think that men have that authority to decide to go and propose to someone. But would a woman propose to a man? NO. Then we just wait and make duaa..
@@aminath92 they are not proposing sometimes due to the economic situation but truth is as luqmana said it , it’s all about our relationship with Allah and accepting that which He gives us because if it was Almighty’s decree everyone would be happily married.
@@aminath92 Actually, there are numerous hadiths of ladies offering themselves for marriage to Prophet Muhammad (saw). And this does not violate the concept of modesty. One method is to contact a Wali to aid in this process. I have to remind myself that Islam transcends all races and cultures. Use your time to become a better Muslima and prepare to be an excellent wife. Increase your worship and knowledge, and when you are ready and the time comes, it will be wonderful. Inshallah
@@aminath92 if I wanted to propose to a girl today she has to tik all my boxes because it’s aqiiru zaman I don’t want to take a trash home I want the best… We have standards that’s why we are not proposing to anyone we come across.. if this was some 300 years ago or even 100 years I’d gladly propose to any girl that I come across lol . But unfortunately you gotta watch out this age and time. Time have changed
I think we should look for spouses outside our cultures provided the man is a good Muslim with good character. Part of the problem is our excessive obsession to our cultures. I tell you there are many good men out there that are willing to provide and support 100%.
@samia6888 As a Nigerian, I know most of us are very traditional and very happy to provide and support our families 💯. If you're lucky to get hooked with one, you'll enjoy it. You may choose not to go out to work, and they will be completely fine with it. They will support you to do business while working from home.
The part you said some Men in Somali community have been spoon fed till they can’t work is true…I once heard a psychologist say if a woman in a family wether a sister, a mother or wife extremely hard to make money and takes the responsibilities of the family the men in the family become feminine and lazy around
This is why I do not give my brothers a single cent …. I contribute to the household for the sake of Allah and to help my parents but my brothers know to not dare ask me for nothing! Most Somali men sadly are the definition of Weak and feminine and it’s mostly thanks to our mothers who took on the role of ‘strong women’ (they call it ‘karti’ and ‘nag nool’ ), married useless men , raised useless sons and Somali women of this generation are then expected to do the same . Absolutely not!
1) I think it’s vice versa - when men are lazy, women have to do more. 2) women can work without HAVING to work. Many women enjoy working because they’re adult human beings. 3) what about being lazy is “feminine” to you? 🤣
As as an empath it always cuts deep to see anyone sad, so im sending you a virtual hug my dear sister. The emotions that came to surface during your recording to me really signify that life isnt worth living for others and ultimate happiness is worshipping Allah subhana wa ta'la and living your authentic life regardless of what others say or think. I believe you exemplify this, masha Allah. The ultimate goal is to live your life whilst hoping for the mercy of Allah subhana wa ta'la to bless us with a spouse that will be the coolness of our eyes. The alternative would be to become depressed, bitter and curl up and want to die. Aint nobody got time for that, Authobillah. For sure, its not for the faint of heart to stand against the narrative of unhappy unmarried older women but youre a bad ass breast cancer warrior and survivor❤ so continue fighting against stifling societal expectations and the pitiful ignorant comments. A life lived for others isnt a life worth living at all. Forget the naysayers and continue spreading your wings and soar to the sky in sha Allah. Jazak Allah khair for hitting a home run on this video.
I know some people may be saying “stop talking about not being married” blah blah blah, but this is really important for us to hear!! Please keep talking about it as you are comfortable - if you don’t. Want to talk about yourself, maybe you can reply to questions from the thousands of us that are in a similar situation so we can continue getting these great reminders and reality checks!
10:22 - 13:37 I relate to almost every comment you made in this video. Oh and especially this timestamp 🤦🏽♀️ It honestly feels like men are looking for super women while they do the bare minimum, sometime less than the bare minimum and then turn around and complain she's not doing enough. Some women can be everything these men expect her to be so they can find men who want to marry them. I can't handle all that expectations so I struggle to marry. Many times I think to myself I'll be happier never getting married if the only other option I have is to be a man, a mother, a cook, a cleaner, be available for my husband all while looking effortless doing it while the man works 1 easy job and comes home to eat, complain and rest himself. I will break me to try to keep up with this. Then when I do hear men want to be providers I start to feel some hope but quickly lose that hope when I hear them speak. They seem to want a women to have full control over. She can't speak or form her own thoughts or choices, they expect so much from her because the man is providing. Her life is only reduced to cook, clean, and obey her husband unconditionally no matter how much pain it will cause her. These kind of men take there cultures for religion and make it seem like beating their wives is part of religion. It feels like I have to enslave myself if I want to marry these days and funny thing is both these types of men claim they're liberating me and accuse each other of being oppressive 😂 Neither of them would look at themselves in the mirror. If these two are my only options then no matter how sad I feel about being alone I will be happier alone 🤦🏽♀️ I felt like I was the only one feeling this way until I watched your video.
Abaayo may ALLAAH give you the life you deserve sister no matter what happens people will always comment I was 18 years old when some people used to tell me why you’re not getting married? Your younger sister got married but me I used say my time will come when ALLAAH wants and I believed everything Is ALLAAH’s hand my sister your time will come soon insha ALLAAH.
Girl don't be upset about not being married! It is a blessing!!! Enjoy your life and live for yourself ❤️ . I'm 29 and have been back and forth with my ex husband for the last 4 years. I keep choosing him back because I love him, but my life was exponentially better before I got married. It's literally so much better so be single and free! As for the people that keep bothering you about being married, remember that misery loves company.
Hey Fatima I agree with you dont settle your time will come. Relationship with your creator before cultural expectations. Being single is a blessing you only appreciate when you get married. 🎉🎉 Enjoy your single life.while it lasts.
Imagine if Muslims help Muslims to find and marry the appropriate partner. The benefit that a family provides generation after generation worshipping Allah is enormous. Life will endure until the day of judgement, which will be determined by Allah. Until then, we must try our best to obey Allah (swt) commands and Muhammad (saw) advice. Seeking via Istikharah, making effort, and remembering that this is what Allah wants for us.
I get so happy when I see you post. Thank you for being here, for sharing, for being relatable to soo many women! muslim women, sisters, all over the world. May Allah enlighten your life with all good, and may he bless you with ease.. and protect you from any bad and bless your heart with good and keep you in goods path ameen. Never settle.. subhanAllah.. not marrying is a blessing if only there is bad to pick from.
I understand how u feel we’re in the same age bracket and I think some of what it could be is that we’re late bloomers to a degree and on top of that we are in those times where it’s becoming more difficult to find a spouse. May Allah make it easy for us Ameen.
Good men are considered red flags by women, good men are labeled toxic for wanting marriage. Good men are turned evil because they wanted to do good. A fact that women ignore.
I encourage u to put yourself outhere fatma,. have an open heart for anyman u meet as y’all want to date and havng children.,, forget about marriage,.,stop analysing yourself too much time is not waitng for nobody🤙
Aslam’u’Alaikum Allah Humma Barik Laha you are beautiful and I’m sure the women who sent a message in saying she is ugly is beautiful too. May Allaah grant us all righteous spouses who will be the coolness of our eyes ❤❤
Families build communities, which build cities, which build nations dedicated to worshipping Allah (swt). Allah (swt) will bring the right one into your life at the perfect moment. There will be joy and agony, Good and Bad Times, Love and Disappointment, as well as tests of patience and commitment. But there is also forgiveness, compassion, and strength in working together to share experiences and navigate the complexities of life, winning and forging love that will be rewarded by Allah (swt) for all of it.
Great video!! You’re absolutely right - yes, it would be amazing for everyone to have a wonderful, supportive, loving partner. While we wait to see if that is something that Allah (SWT) has in store for us, we have so much more to do in this world. Allah (SWT) put on this Earth to worship Him and do good works. Let’s do that, be happy, work for the aakhirah, and while we wait to see if we have a good partner written for us in this life, let’s be patient and hopeful and live each day for ourselves ❤
Men should provide and be kind, help where possible in the thing that a wife can’t do easily (take trash out, fix things around the house, pull up their sock when the wife is sick/weakened state). Women need to nuture the children and take care of the home, she should make herself available for the husband. It will never be equal. A man will never go through pregnancy, postpartum, breastfeeding (not to mention most women go through it more than once). So yes, a man need to realise their only purpose is not just being a financial provider. A real man want to take care of his woman so that she can be better at her role. Be a real man and do right by your wife and children and your mothers. So many men now just want to go 50/50, as if they’ll ever be able to do 50% of pregnancy etc.
There are no friendships between men and women. One will always be attracted to the other. Avoid friendships because it is of no benefit for you or for him.
I’m not married coz of my income but by the time I feel I can I will get married immediately insha Allah . If the women has income she can marry the man if he good 👍🏾
Walaaley gabar aad u fiican baa tahay walahi, waxa dareemaa inaa waligey ku aqaaney. Inta badan gabdhaheena Somaaliyeed ma jecla nin naag qabo iney guursadaan, Aniga Gabar Adoo kale ah haduu guursado ninkeyga wax ma kaqabo yaaba ku helika ra walaaley. What are your thoughts about being second wife?
When I talk to some men, I don't want to get involved with them because I think they're not good people, and when I talk to good men, I think I'm not good enough for them. So I leave them to find a better person than me. I don't know what to do anymore.
Fatama only to being can bring life into this universe God and female. On the last day if God ask you what did you do with power Allah gave you to bring life into this universe
One day, you find yourself. You realise that you have a personal worldview. A say on how things should/shouldn't be. Beyond what you have been told through culture and religion, you also learn so much that these two didn't tell you. You realise that most cultural and religious standards are human options. You realise that beyond that cultural and religious lift, there're things that unify humankind. We're similar in many ways, though cultural and religious diversity has taught us how different we are. PEACE and LOVE are virtues that we all seek, which transcend the differences that we were taught. There are people whom we share both religion and culture, but they are bad to us. There're people who don't share in our culture or religion, yet they have a mind of PEACE and a heart of LOVE. On the point of Christians marrying and doing a wedding later, let's remember that we were first Africans. In most African communities, both Islam and Christianity are foreign religions, just like the English and Arabic languages. We'd therefore understand each other better if we look at ourselves first as Agìkuyu in the pre-Christianity and Somali in the pre-Islam. The people who brought Islam to Africans had colonised East African coastal communities for centuries. They captured our forefathers and shipped them in shackles as slaves. Their counterparts came later and brought us Christianity, but they forcefully took our land and forced our forefathers into providing free labour. The Kenyans who live around Lake Victoria are first Luos before we mention Christianity. The Kenyans who live around Keroka are first Kisiis before we mention Seventh-day Adventists. Likewise, in Wajir and Eastleigh are first Somalis before we mention Islam. May PEACE and LOVE reign in us🤗🫶. Let culture not trample on LOVE, nor religion undermine PEACE. For LOVE shall be our universal 'culture', and PEACE shall be our universal 'religion'.
Please enjoy your life. Marriage isn't all roses and kisses. How many women are in their graves because of the men they married?! Make dua and ask family and friends if they know someone make your efforts, do ruqyah as well as sometimes it could be the cause of not getting married! But sometimes people aren't meant to marry in this world but get to marry and choose a spouse in Jannah/Paradise. Meanwhile, just be happy and pray and dont stress and worry because our purpose is not to marry or have children but to worship our creator Allah. Alhamdulillah!!!
I think it’s because culturally men were coddled and treasured. However us girls were to live our mothers dreams and went to sch etc. Plus we were hardened to prepare for a hard world. However some of the men due to deference and over accommodation ended up with fragile egos. Easily offended when adults and not capable of being in a relationship where they see their partner as their equal. Not that we’d disrespect them but that they can step up more…
I ask myself, do I want the wife I believe is best for me, or do I want the wife Allah knows will be the best for me in this life and the next? There is no time to be sad when I ask Allah to complete my religion and provide me with the greatest wife possible.
It def is a Problem 😢😢😢 . So many single Muslim women . Allah gives the men up to four wives and they don’t even take this blessing Allah give them in consideration 😢😢.
I agree with you. The problem is the fact that most women have followed non Muslims for choosing monogamy though Allah brought polygyny to solve this problem but most women do not want thinking polygyny benefits men whereas this came for them. The number of female are drastically increasing including divorced women, widows and singles.
are you willing to be a second (third, fourth) wife, sister? I'm a woman by the way, just asking, because I don't think that I have the strength and patience to be in that position (32 years old, never married)
@@aminath92 Thanks for your comment my sister. That shows you are understanding the point. Allah permitted polygyny to help women in desperate situation, widows, divorced women and single like you to get married. I pray Allah will give you a vertuous Muslim brother.
@@lavoiedallah581 Allahuma amin, Jazak Allah khair. You're right, even though it's difficult for a woman to share a husband, but in some cases it's the best option.
@@aminath92 I agree 100%. Being the second, third or the fourth does not mean you will not be happy or less appreciated than the first wife. A woman having a man for only her does not guarantee her happiness. Only good character, respect and religiosity can make everything change and becomes a gold for a man. There are many married women as second, third or fourth wife happier than many others in a monogamy regime. All depends on your relationship with your husband and the respect given to your co-wives.
Sourate 2 verset 223 2 : 223 - Vos épouses sont pour vous un champ de labour; allez à votre champ comme [et quand] vous le voulez. Pensez-vous que vous allez pouvoir vous soumettre à cette sourate ?
my thoughts exactly.. even the Quran mentioned that a man is the Provider...4:34 shame on those men. tbh for a woman, she will climb on top of you(literally). If you allow ,she will resent you and never respect you..! What's wrong with men... get serious ... and imgn out here, there are still inlaws that are from hell, and we have seen people, especially in marriage, who are really struggling makes you wonder.😢
It is not fair when everything is not revealed fully, What about women when it comes to dowry and weddings? How much money are men being asked to pay that is too expensive. The problem lies in both genders but keep blaming men and men keep blaming women for your own mistakes. Islam is a life manual but we want to make islam be like the western culture, we want to add things to the deen that benefits us. Muslims are going in a very dark direction, nothing is ever enough, when in Allah's eyes even an atoms weight is sufficient.
@GHOST-ec3nx if you read my message well, you will notice i talked about men who have decided to be 'kept' by women... the one that you're talking about, MashaAllah, as paid for dowry n wedding.. kudos 👏 ,that would be ideal 👌 man .. my point is let men be men and women be women ,trying as much to follow the ways of our Beloved Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم، so as an umma we are struggling, unfortunately we feed alot of non beneficial content from the west that no longer have our best interests especially when it comes to family values. of importance is for each individual to know what is required of them by Allah and try as much to lv by that. and what Allah as planned is best. If any of my comments hurt anyone am sorry, we all have a different view to life.
Selam sister if you are interested in hosting video together regarding this issues because I feel a lot women will related to your experience about marriage including me. let me know and replay to my comments
Is really sad but this young generation young people don't want to commit especially mens.. they prefer being together for soo long rather to get married... Am almost 40 but still unmarried my mum is still worried because am the eldest son and for our culture am should be married with now two or three children. Now to be honest am living abroad with no girlfriend am still loosing hope of getting married...if it's no haram for us Muslims to have children outside married. Will definitely have but am I very proud Muslim scare to disobey Allah SWA....
Not because can't afford it but for me scare and to meet a wrong person if that's happened and the marriage don't work...I know will never get married again that's the problem...
@@sherifftouray9317have you never met a woman who you liked ? Not once in your 40 years ? Because normally that fear is reduced because you genuinely like someone
@@madhere0990 I have meet few but don't work out and now almost my late 30s but if because of only want to have children to be honest with you and for my mum to see her grand children because she only waiting to see her daughter in-law...But the her son is not ready yet sometimes I want to settle down but sometimes noooooo.... To be honest I want to have my own children ooh adopt child as my own period...
The problem is both men and women. Muslim women have set unrealistic goals that a man has to fulfill, parents set unrealistic goals that a man has to fulfil. When a man a muslim man wants to marry he has to pay an expensive dowry, he has to pay for a huge wedding, there's a lot barriers women and parents have put before marriage so why should a muslim man go through all of this only for the marriage to last 3 or 4 months? Muslim men don't want to follow the deen, they want to play around with women, they wanted to have the benefits of marriage without marriage. Some have become lazy as you said and men have lost their voice, their leadership. It is sad because both muslim men and women are attacking each other on social media, a fight to determine who's better than the other and when it comes to marriage they forget to look in the mirror. In front of Allah how pure are your intentions? " I don't want to get married now because i have to work on myself and i have to focus on my work and school " Excuses like this are the reasons you are not getting married. Dating is the reason you are not getting married, " I want to know the guy before i marry him, i wanna know all his red flags to know if he is the right person " Another excuse to fulfill your desires and whatever your intentions are. A person with good intentions towards you will never look for red flags and it doesn't mean they're ignoring them, they understand everyone has mistakes and no one is perfect but today how many men and women want a perfect person but will look you in the face and lie to you that they think no one is perfect. I wholeheartedly agree and believe that whatever Allah wills will happen but that's not the only thing Allah has given us, He has given us knowledge, a mind so we can reason and think. The effort is upon us and not Allah, the effort is on you. But people use this as an excuse too, If Allah wills it then i will get married. You know what else Allah has willed to happen? salah, the five prayers that you pray everyday it only only happens by the will of Allah. What if you said I will pray if Allah wills it? What would happen? You probably wouldn't pray at all. So the effort is upon us and not Allah. And when you put in effort to get married, do it the halal way, no dating, respectful and clear conversations when you are getting to know each other. It doesn't take more than a month to get to know someone to an extent and you will never truly know who someone is and how they are until you marry them. Do not for a second think you need a year or two before getting married to that person, the more you delay the more sheytan gets involved, so do it as soon as you can. What is stopping you? work, can you not work while you are married? School, can you not go to university or college when you are married? What is this ultimate thing that doesn't allow you to get married. Do you need to rent a house immediately? No you can stay at your parents house until you get your affairs in order " but i want a man who is rich and a man who has figured out life ", what's stopping you from being patient with each other, isn't this one of the tests of marriage? We have made marriage so difficult that engaging in zina is almost better than marriage, sad reality. We have made it soo difficult and any time someone asks you to get married we have all this excuses lined up, prepared very nicely more than we have prepared ourselves for the hereafter. What in this world is more important than completing half of your deen? What is that soo important that you are willing to commit zina for? I was called toxic for wanting marriage, I was heartbroken and left destroyed because I didn't want to continue to engage in a haram relationship. I was blocked and left like i was a stranger because i wanted marriage. It made me question myself, question my deen, this where we are as muslims, we want the haram more than the halal and whoever wants the halal they are labeled things. They are left. We say we want marriage but when it is brought in front of you, you run away from it. So look in the mirror you know yourself more than anyone, you know the reasons why and you know your intentions. What effort have you put in to get married? Are you going about it the right way?
@@aminath92 She wanted to prolong a haram relationship. I stopped it and it was either marriage or we leave each other alone. She could've said ok but being called toxic for not wanting a haram relationship is very bizarre. Not being bitter at all. This is what goes on in the world, people say they want marriage but come up with every excuse under the sun to not get married. Every excuse to keep committing zina but the one who wants to do the right thing is called bitter, toxic and everything else.
@@aminath92 It hasn't ruined anything for me but really took a huge chunk of me. What hurts is the excuses she gave me are the same ones both men and women are giving each other now. For me to find the right person its like looking for a needle in a haystack but nothing is impossible to Allah. She will come.
Well said, masha Allah. I completely agree that the problem is both men and women, period! Also would love to highlight nothing in your response came across as bitter. You shared your thoughts and an experience that taught you a valuable lesson which was extremely helpful . Jazak Allah khair
Fatama Allah has given power to bring life to this universe, it’s not upto Allah it You female has power to bring life. If a woman decided not have children nobody can do anything even in marriage it’s the woman who decides.the man has no power
All the crying you do about not being married; you will deeply regret one day, that you were not appreciating your freedom when you were single. Mark my words!
@Age_less_dream_more with that mentality plz don't get married, and if you are, I am sorry for what u going through. Marriage isn't a prison, and it shouldn't be looked at as such.
@@KojLok-dy6gp Stay desperate for marriage and you will jump for the wrong marriage proposal; instead of purposefully until the right time comes...Signed, your sister who never WANTED to be married and has turned-down four different proposals. Living my best life, about to buy myself land in a foreign country, all alone.
@Age_less_dream_more yes, one should not jump head fast into a marriage, but from your viewpoint, marriage is a prison. What you are currently doing alone can be done with the right partner by your side. To conclude, there is nothing wrong with not being marriage but please don't spread your negative viewpoint.
I went on Muslim “dating” app and it’s utterly disgusting the kinds of men on there. They use it as last resort and there’s a bunch of men on there who did zina, divorcees, narcissists, going through breakup after having GF and just using the app to fill a void. There’s some who dupe you for time pass until they find someone from their culture. The serious ones would go to the mosque often and put themselves out like that saying they are looking for wife or tell their family/friends
Marriage is a product of sophistry @ it is neither product of overanalysis paralysis. If you can't get married to the marriage u will never get married. Marriage is not a weaver bird exercise @ what is wrong with you is you.
Perhaps that so called child may be the one to bring her a lot of harm so maybe it’s best she not have them , Allahu Aalam . She does not need a child to take care of her , she has Allah.
I'm sure everyone will dei but the question is that what will you leave in this world?? At least leave children who take care of you when you become older and pray for you when you die if you get that chance.
Dont fell sorry for Lady like this because they rejected too many good men. I can swore. When women talking about men, remember it is the top 5 men they talking. That is the problem.
@@FatmaOdyssey You like most women competing for top 5 high value men , and they have a lot of opinions about those top 5 men. 95 % of men are invisible for your women. There are many good men who are struggling for marriage. I feel so for those guys. Hardworking men but getting rejected.
You like most women competing for top 5 high value men. Top 5 men you women fighting for have many other women running after them. 95 % of men are invisible for your women. There are many good men who are struggling for marriage. I feel sorry for those guys. Hardworking men but getting rejected.
@@MissSraG most girls got opportunities at young age but many decide not to take because of many reasons best to them, when they are over marriage age is when they realise they wasted opportunities.
@@MissSraG it's from 18-30 for women beyond that age less than 20% of women get married, if a girl uses that opportunity fine but if she failed she has to accept her fate.
Loved your reflection at the end of this video sis ❤🩹 We really should not let what others say rob us from experiencing the present moment. I'm realizing this more now and hope to be more mindful of it so that I m not consumed by it, InA. Alhamdulillah 'ala Kulli Hal.
Fatma, thank you for always being yourself.
That's why i just love plugging in and watching your videos.
So refreshing & realistic.
I feel accepted just by watching.
I’m 33 and single and recently asked this guy to stop calling me by the third call because I noticed he was asking questions on my salary and said he does not mind staying home with the kid and me work when we have them. The very thought of ever talking to him again was suffocating to me , we have a generation of weak men who want to rely on women these days . As a woman , run ! Either a man adds to your life or he will subtract from it and the latter will always leave you destroyed, bitter and resentful because women cannot respect a man who does not want to be a man
Not saying you think like this or feel this way.
According to a lot of muslims today, the prophet (SAW) is not a man, the thing most muslims believe today means that the prophet (SAW) was not a man. In the prophets house sometimes two months would go by without them lighting the fire to cook something, if that happened today what would people say about that man? sincerely speaking what would people say?
A man is not defined by how much he makes, he is defined by how much he follows his deen, so i pray for you that Allah brings you a man who follows the deen as best as he can because that man will treat you right for the sake of Allah and that is true love.
@GHOST-ec3nx a husbands job is to provide for his family. The Prophet pbuh provided for his family. His wives did not go out to work for him. They were tested with famine.
@@MissSraG And the men today are providing but it is not enough, this and this has to be provided even before marriage and when it comes to marriage a huge burden is placed on the shoulders of the men. The prophets wives were patient and followed the deen, can you say that about most muslim women today?
The prohets wives didn't give him pre conditions before marriage, they didn't ask for big weddings with music and dancing.
And where did i say men shouldn't provide, a man who follows his deen will provide.
@@GHOST-ec3nx the mothers of believers had separate homes though. Nowadays if you bring it up the groom and his family will be offended. Also the Prophet SAW had to work for spreading deen, but today's men don't have money because they're too lazy to work. They want a working woman who cooks and cleans and is fit too.
@@taniaslam8429 I don't deny that there are these types of men, I know these types of men, men who dont care at all and want to misuse women to fulfill their desires but what's concerning is its just too one sided, the man is expected to carry a lot more than he can handle and that is set as the standard, if a man offers less than that then he doesn't deserve anything. Not saying women should work.
Men and women aren't showing each other mercy. Its a transactional relationship.
This video is both serious and funny at the same time. Women say men are the problem, and men say women are the problem. The problem is that neither has found their match. In the process, we forget that this life is about having a relationship with Allah (swt). We should marry and have a family to please Allah (swt). And we will only find true happiness when we do all of these things with the intention of pleasing Allah (swt).
You're right, but what makes women think that men are the problem is that men nowadays have a tendency of not proposing to women anymore. As a woman, I wonder what could I do if nobody's proposing? Women think that men have that authority to decide to go and propose to someone. But would a woman propose to a man? NO. Then we just wait and make duaa..
@@aminath92 they are not proposing sometimes due to the economic situation but truth is as luqmana said it , it’s all about our relationship with Allah and accepting that which He gives us because if it was Almighty’s decree everyone would be happily married.
@@aminath92 Actually, there are numerous hadiths of ladies offering themselves for marriage to Prophet Muhammad (saw). And this does not violate the concept of modesty. One method is to contact a Wali to aid in this process. I have to remind myself that Islam transcends all races and cultures. Use your time to become a better Muslima and prepare to be an excellent wife. Increase your worship and knowledge, and when you are ready and the time comes, it will be wonderful. Inshallah
@@aminath92 if I wanted to propose to a girl today she has to tik all my boxes because it’s aqiiru zaman I don’t want to take a trash home I want the best… We have standards that’s why we are not proposing to anyone we come across.. if this was some 300 years ago or even 100 years I’d gladly propose to any girl that I come across lol . But unfortunately you gotta watch out this age and time. Time have changed
@@zakariyamohamed6388 as muslims, we don't call people "trash".
I think we should look for spouses outside our cultures provided the man is a good Muslim with good character. Part of the problem is our excessive obsession to our cultures. I tell you there are many good men out there that are willing to provide and support 100%.
Absolutely.
Where ARE these men??
@samia6888 As a Nigerian, I know most of us are very traditional and very happy to provide and support our families 💯. If you're lucky to get hooked with one, you'll enjoy it. You may choose not to go out to work, and they will be completely fine with it. They will support you to do business while working from home.
The part you said some Men in Somali community have been spoon fed till they can’t work is true…I once heard a psychologist say if a woman in a family wether a sister, a mother or wife extremely hard to make money and takes the responsibilities of the family the men in the family become feminine and lazy around
This is why I do not give my brothers a single cent …. I contribute to the household for the sake of Allah and to help my parents but my brothers know to not dare ask me for nothing! Most Somali men sadly are the definition of Weak and feminine and it’s mostly thanks to our mothers who took on the role of ‘strong women’ (they call it ‘karti’ and ‘nag nool’ ), married useless men , raised useless sons and Somali women of this generation are then expected to do the same . Absolutely not!
1) I think it’s vice versa - when men are lazy, women have to do more.
2) women can work without HAVING to work. Many women enjoy working because they’re adult human beings.
3) what about being lazy is “feminine” to you? 🤣
As as an empath it always cuts deep to see anyone sad, so im sending you a virtual hug my dear sister.
The emotions that came to surface during your recording to me really signify that life isnt worth living for others and ultimate happiness is worshipping Allah subhana wa ta'la and living your authentic life regardless of what others say or think. I believe you exemplify this, masha Allah. The ultimate goal is to live your life whilst hoping for the mercy of Allah subhana wa ta'la to bless us with a spouse that will be the coolness of our eyes. The alternative would be to become depressed, bitter and curl up and want to die. Aint nobody got time for that, Authobillah.
For sure, its not for the faint of heart to stand against the narrative of unhappy unmarried older women but youre a bad ass breast cancer warrior and survivor❤ so continue fighting against stifling societal expectations and the pitiful ignorant comments.
A life lived for others isnt a life worth living at all. Forget the naysayers and continue spreading your wings and soar to the sky in sha Allah.
Jazak Allah khair for hitting a home run on this video.
ومن يتق الله يجعل له مخرجا ويرزقه من حيث لايحتسب
Doğru
Our time will come be patient. Right time is Allah qadr
Do you really believe that everyone is destined to be married? What about those who have come and gone single?
@@AnRPeacexthose will get their partner in the afterlife
I know some people may be saying “stop talking about not being married” blah blah blah, but this is really important for us to hear!! Please keep talking about it as you are comfortable - if you don’t. Want to talk about yourself, maybe you can reply to questions from the thousands of us that are in a similar situation so we can continue getting these great reminders and reality checks!
I have already seen those comments 🤣🤣…clearly I am not posting for them so I am glad you mentioned this…so we will continue with the discussion 💃🏾💃🏾💃🏾
Stay blessed my sister keep being you ❤Marshalla God loves you Much More than Man could ever love you
Standard ❤🙏🏾🙌🏽
Every man is not problem there are good men
10:22 - 13:37 I relate to almost every comment you made in this video. Oh and especially this timestamp 🤦🏽♀️ It honestly feels like men are looking for super women while they do the bare minimum, sometime less than the bare minimum and then turn around and complain she's not doing enough. Some women can be everything these men expect her to be so they can find men who want to marry them. I can't handle all that expectations so I struggle to marry. Many times I think to myself I'll be happier never getting married if the only other option I have is to be a man, a mother, a cook, a cleaner, be available for my husband all while looking effortless doing it while the man works 1 easy job and comes home to eat, complain and rest himself. I will break me to try to keep up with this. Then when I do hear men want to be providers I start to feel some hope but quickly lose that hope when I hear them speak. They seem to want a women to have full control over. She can't speak or form her own thoughts or choices, they expect so much from her because the man is providing. Her life is only reduced to cook, clean, and obey her husband unconditionally no matter how much pain it will cause her. These kind of men take there cultures for religion and make it seem like beating their wives is part of religion. It feels like I have to enslave myself if I want to marry these days and funny thing is both these types of men claim they're liberating me and accuse each other of being oppressive 😂 Neither of them would look at themselves in the mirror. If these two are my only options then no matter how sad I feel about being alone I will be happier alone 🤦🏽♀️ I felt like I was the only one feeling this way until I watched your video.
May Almighty Allah answers all our prayers. Remember Allah is the best planner and known all things.
Abaayo may ALLAAH give you the life you deserve sister no matter what happens people will always comment I was 18 years old when some people used to tell me why you’re not getting married? Your younger sister got married but me I used say my time will come when ALLAAH wants and I believed everything Is ALLAAH’s hand my sister your time will come soon insha ALLAAH.
Soon Allah will bless you and you will be satisfied sister Fatima
Girl don't be upset about not being married! It is a blessing!!! Enjoy your life and live for yourself ❤️ . I'm 29 and have been back and forth with my ex husband for the last 4 years. I keep choosing him back because I love him, but my life was exponentially better before I got married. It's literally so much better so be single and free! As for the people that keep bothering you about being married, remember that misery loves company.
Right choice at the right time in sha Allah
you have a really nice personality. You might do really great on radio if you give it a try
Hey Fatima I agree with you dont settle your time will come. Relationship with your creator before cultural expectations. Being single is a blessing you only appreciate when you get married. 🎉🎉 Enjoy your single life.while it lasts.
Thank you my African queen 💯💯
Imagine if Muslims help Muslims to find and marry the appropriate partner. The benefit that a family provides generation after generation worshipping Allah is enormous. Life will endure until the day of judgement, which will be determined by Allah. Until then, we must try our best to obey Allah (swt) commands and Muhammad (saw) advice. Seeking via Istikharah, making effort, and remembering that this is what Allah wants for us.
SubhanaAllah you are an amazing soul I hope I get a chance to meet it would be an honour ❤❤❤
Sis love the vids Allahumabarik ❤what is the shade of the Nars start me up lipstick up you used in a recent vid
Thank you sis. The Nars lipstick shade is called “killer queen” 🤣🤣 I literally just checked it now 😭😭
I get so happy when I see you post. Thank you for being here, for sharing, for being relatable to soo many women! muslim women, sisters, all over the world. May Allah enlighten your life with all good, and may he bless you with ease.. and protect you from any bad and bless your heart with good and keep you in goods path ameen. Never settle.. subhanAllah.. not marrying is a blessing if only there is bad to pick from.
The fact that i get a lot of attention from ajnabi men but still search for somali gentle somali guy is crazy😅
Then why don't u marry them??? No somali man is crying and begging her to stay
Stop searching and get with ajnabi
Its good to marry from your tribe, anjnabi has a different culture and girls regret marrying annabi @vibes6255
I understand how u feel we’re in the same age bracket and I think some of what it could be is that we’re late bloomers to a degree and on top of that we are in those times where it’s becoming more difficult to find a spouse. May Allah make it easy for us Ameen.
Ameen 💕💕
Y look lovely y deserve someone who understands you
Awwwee your page grew so fast ☺️☺️
There’s no problem for you not married, sweetheart,waq tigaga sug wu so socdaa
Masha Allah... sister you look beautiful without your lipstick 💯😄
There is no lipstick
The fact is that the responsible men are married
Some are still there
@@fridawsbamba1641 Have you seen
Good men are considered red flags by women, good men are labeled toxic for wanting marriage. Good men are turned evil because they wanted to do good. A fact that women ignore.
Responsible men are everywhere
They’re everywhere single and married even irresponsible men are married and single
I encourage u to put yourself outhere fatma,. have an open heart for anyman u meet as y’all want to date and havng children.,, forget about marriage,.,stop analysing yourself too much time is not waitng for nobody🤙
Any man?
Aslam’u’Alaikum Allah Humma Barik Laha you are beautiful and I’m sure the women who sent a message in saying she is ugly is beautiful too. May Allaah grant us all righteous spouses who will be the coolness of our eyes ❤❤
Families build communities, which build cities, which build nations dedicated to worshipping Allah (swt). Allah (swt) will bring the right one into your life at the perfect moment. There will be joy and agony, Good and Bad Times, Love and Disappointment, as well as tests of patience and commitment. But there is also forgiveness, compassion, and strength in working together to share experiences and navigate the complexities of life, winning and forging love that will be rewarded by Allah (swt) for all of it.
Thanks for reacting to my comment sis and your advice. May Allah give you the best ❤
Ameen and thank you for leaving a feedback, I appreciate you 💕
❤
We are all in this together..my soul sister
Solidarity ✊🏾✊🏾 💕💕
Great video!! You’re absolutely right - yes, it would be amazing for everyone to have a wonderful, supportive, loving partner. While we wait to see if that is something that Allah (SWT) has in store for us, we have so much more to do in this world. Allah (SWT) put on this Earth to worship Him and do good works. Let’s do that, be happy, work for the aakhirah, and while we wait to see if we have a good partner written for us in this life, let’s be patient and hopeful and live each day for ourselves ❤
💯💯 agreed, may we all experience the barakah of getting married in Sha Allah. 🤲🏾
That's soo true man wants woman who have money subhanAllah
Men should provide and be kind, help where possible in the thing that a wife can’t do easily (take trash out, fix things around the house, pull up their sock when the wife is sick/weakened state).
Women need to nuture the children and take care of the home, she should make herself available for the husband.
It will never be equal. A man will never go through pregnancy, postpartum, breastfeeding (not to mention most women go through it more than once).
So yes, a man need to realise their only purpose is not just being a financial provider. A real man want to take care of his woman so that she can be better at her role. Be a real man and do right by your wife and children and your mothers. So many men now just want to go 50/50, as if they’ll ever be able to do 50% of pregnancy etc.
Hahahahaah..I learnt something today.."House Husband" HH for short.😂😂😅
😂😂😂
Tell me about it 🤣🤣🤣
Yes my sis, I am avoiding men not all of them. Some men are not good as in friendship. Insallah ☪
There are no friendships between men and women. One will always be attracted to the other. Avoid friendships because it is of no benefit for you or for him.
Evil eye is very real!!
Avoid eating, drinking and sharing food stuffs in social media!
Usidhani watu wote wanajua Masha'Allah.
Aslamualykum sister
can u recommend a good dentist in Turkey. Appreciate it very much jzkillah ❤
There is a clinic called clinic expert, please contact them. They have dentist service and also other services on Sha Allah.
I’m not married coz of my income but by the time I feel I can I will get married immediately insha Allah . If the women has income she can marry the man if he good 👍🏾
Odessa get married for my sake
Walaaley gabar aad u fiican baa tahay walahi, waxa dareemaa inaa waligey ku aqaaney. Inta badan gabdhaheena Somaaliyeed ma jecla nin naag qabo iney guursadaan, Aniga Gabar Adoo kale ah haduu guursado ninkeyga wax ma kaqabo yaaba ku helika ra walaaley.
What are your thoughts about being second wife?
😂😂😂😂 honestly Ninkaaga why aad ugu raadinaysa? Maxaa qaldan? Asaga maa raadsan karo miya??
@@nimasahal9895 😂 😂 yacni gabar fiican xata asaga hadu keensado dhib maleh, Wax na maqaldana
Wan kaxumaha wll culayska kusaran
Allaha kagado
Aniga waxan jiraa 37sano kawaran hadan kugursado set uarki lahayt? Waxana kunolahay Mozambique
When I talk to some men, I don't want to get involved with them because I think they're not good people, and when I talk to good men, I think I'm not good enough for them. So I leave them to find a better person than me. I don't know what to do anymore.
😭😭😭 that’s a tough dilemma
😂😂😂 House husband. SubhanaAllah.
Although you're 20 years older i feel like we have similarities, I feel better knowning there are women like me.
Am really glad 💕💕💕
Fatama only to being can bring life into this universe God and female. On the last day if God ask you what did you do with power Allah gave you to bring life into this universe
All you have to do is trust and say Bismillah, becouse the marriage is not easy
Waan ku salaamay, walaal. Jimce wacan (Ha-kis-bila wacan/Kul miso wacan).
Waxa inoo diidan: HABLIHII_CADRADII oo nagu qaaliyay guurkii, gaar haan "MEHERKII!!!" Haddii la fududeeyo; guurkaa badan lahaa, ummadda Islaamkuna way badan lahaayeen!
Midh ka yar ee aanu is hello; waan wanaajin lahaa wallahi, anigu, walaal. ❤❤
FG: Walaal, wax fahma. ❤❤
One day, you find yourself. You realise that you have a personal worldview. A say on how things should/shouldn't be. Beyond what you have been told through culture and religion, you also learn so much that these two didn't tell you. You realise that most cultural and religious standards are human options. You realise that beyond that cultural and religious lift, there're things that unify humankind. We're similar in many ways, though cultural and religious diversity has taught us how different we are. PEACE and LOVE are virtues that we all seek, which transcend the differences that we were taught. There are people whom we share both religion and culture, but they are bad to us. There're people who don't share in our culture or religion, yet they have a mind of PEACE and a heart of LOVE.
On the point of Christians marrying and doing a wedding later, let's remember that we were first Africans. In most African communities, both Islam and Christianity are foreign religions, just like the English and Arabic languages. We'd therefore understand each other better if we look at ourselves first as Agìkuyu in the pre-Christianity and Somali in the pre-Islam. The people who brought Islam to Africans had colonised East African coastal communities for centuries. They captured our forefathers and shipped them in shackles as slaves. Their counterparts came later and brought us Christianity, but they forcefully took our land and forced our forefathers into providing free labour. The Kenyans who live around Lake Victoria are first Luos before we mention Christianity. The Kenyans who live around Keroka are first Kisiis before we mention Seventh-day Adventists. Likewise, in Wajir and Eastleigh are first Somalis before we mention Islam.
May PEACE and LOVE reign in us🤗🫶. Let culture not trample on LOVE, nor religion undermine PEACE. For LOVE shall be our universal 'culture', and PEACE shall be our universal 'religion'.
Please enjoy your life. Marriage isn't all roses and kisses. How many women are in their graves because of the men they married?! Make dua and ask family and friends if they know someone make your efforts, do ruqyah as well as sometimes it could be the cause of not getting married! But sometimes people aren't meant to marry in this world but get to marry and choose a spouse in Jannah/Paradise. Meanwhile, just be happy and pray and dont stress and worry because our purpose is not to marry or have children but to worship our creator Allah. Alhamdulillah!!!
Abayo makuaarosaa
But since last year I proposed to you
I think it’s because culturally men were coddled and treasured. However us girls were to live our mothers dreams and went to sch etc. Plus we were hardened to prepare for a hard world. However some of the men due to deference and over accommodation ended up with fragile egos. Easily offended when adults and not capable of being in a relationship where they see their partner as their equal. Not that we’d disrespect them but that they can step up more…
Waan ku salaamay, walaal. Jimce wacan (Ha-kis-bila wacan/Kul miso wacan).
Waxa inoo diidan: HABLIHII_CADRADII oo nagu qaaliyay guurkii, gaar haan "MEHERKII!!!" Haddii la fududeeyo; guurkaa badan lahaa, ummadda Islaamkuna way badan lahaayeen!
Midh ka yar ee aanu is hello; waan wanaajin lahaa wallahi, anigu, walaal. ❤❤
FG: "Walaal, wax fahma!"❤❤
I ask myself, do I want the wife I believe is best for me, or do I want the wife Allah knows will be the best for me in this life and the next? There is no time to be sad when I ask Allah to complete my religion and provide me with the greatest wife possible.
Beautiful outlook brother I’ll keep that in mind as well
I mean some ppl are focused on marrying someone in their culture and it’s not happening so they single forever… their fault
13:14😂
It def is a Problem 😢😢😢 . So many single Muslim women . Allah gives the men up to four wives and they don’t even take this blessing Allah give them in consideration 😢😢.
I agree with you. The problem is the fact that most women have followed non Muslims for choosing monogamy though Allah brought polygyny to solve this problem but most women do not want thinking polygyny benefits men whereas this came for them. The number of female are drastically increasing including divorced women, widows and singles.
are you willing to be a second (third, fourth) wife, sister? I'm a woman by the way, just asking, because I don't think that I have the strength and patience to be in that position (32 years old, never married)
@@aminath92 Thanks for your comment my sister. That shows you are understanding the point. Allah permitted polygyny to help women in desperate situation, widows, divorced women and single like you to get married. I pray Allah will give you a vertuous Muslim brother.
@@lavoiedallah581 Allahuma amin, Jazak Allah khair. You're right, even though it's difficult for a woman to share a husband, but in some cases it's the best option.
@@aminath92 I agree 100%. Being the second, third or the fourth does not mean you will not be happy or less appreciated than the first wife. A woman having a man for only her does not guarantee her happiness. Only good character, respect and religiosity can make everything change and becomes a gold for a man. There are many married women as second, third or fourth wife happier than many others in a monogamy regime. All depends on your relationship with your husband and the respect given to your co-wives.
Sourate 2 verset 223
2 : 223 - Vos épouses sont pour vous un champ de labour; allez à votre champ comme [et quand] vous le voulez.
Pensez-vous que vous allez pouvoir vous soumettre à cette sourate ?
my thoughts exactly.. even the Quran mentioned that a man is the Provider...4:34 shame on those men. tbh for a woman, she will climb on top of you(literally). If you allow ,she will resent you and never respect you..! What's wrong with men... get serious ... and imgn out here, there are still inlaws that are from hell, and we have seen people, especially in marriage, who are really struggling makes you wonder.😢
It is not fair when everything is not revealed fully, What about women when it comes to dowry and weddings? How much money are men being asked to pay that is too expensive. The problem lies in both genders but keep blaming men and men keep blaming women for your own mistakes. Islam is a life manual but we want to make islam be like the western culture, we want to add things to the deen that benefits us.
Muslims are going in a very dark direction, nothing is ever enough, when in Allah's eyes even an atoms weight is sufficient.
@GHOST-ec3nx if you read my message well, you will notice i talked about men who have decided to be 'kept' by women... the one that you're talking about, MashaAllah, as paid for dowry n wedding.. kudos 👏 ,that would be ideal 👌 man
.. my point is let men be men and women be women ,trying as much to follow the ways of our Beloved Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم، so as an umma we are struggling, unfortunately we feed alot of non beneficial content from the west that no longer have our best interests especially when it comes to family values. of importance is for each individual to know what is required of them by Allah and try as much to lv by that. and what Allah as planned is best. If any of my comments hurt anyone am sorry, we all have a different view to life.
Christianity forbids pre-marital sex. It is considered sin. Just clarifying.
Selam sister if you are interested in hosting video together regarding this issues because I feel a lot women will related to your experience about marriage including me. let me know and replay to my comments
Its qadar allah
yes
Is really sad but this young generation young people don't want to commit especially mens.. they prefer being together for soo long rather to get married... Am almost 40 but still unmarried my mum is still worried because am the eldest son and for our culture am should be married with now two or three children. Now to be honest am living abroad with no girlfriend am still loosing hope of getting married...if it's no haram for us Muslims to have children outside married. Will definitely have but am I very proud Muslim scare to disobey Allah SWA....
But I’m curious , are you not married because you cannot afford it or you have not found the woman you want ?
Not because can't afford it but for me scare and to meet a wrong person if that's happened and the marriage don't work...I know will never get married again that's the problem...
@@sherifftouray9317have you never met a woman who you liked ? Not once in your 40 years ? Because normally that fear is reduced because you genuinely like someone
@@madhere0990 I have meet few but don't work out and now almost my late 30s but if because of only want to have children to be honest with you and for my mum to see her grand children because she only waiting to see her daughter in-law...But the her son is not ready yet sometimes I want to settle down but sometimes noooooo.... To be honest I want to have my own children ooh adopt child as my own period...
@@sherifftouray9317which culture are u from and where are u leaving now
The problem is both men and women.
Muslim women have set unrealistic goals that a man has to fulfill, parents set unrealistic goals that a man has to fulfil. When a man a muslim man wants to marry he has to pay an expensive dowry, he has to pay for a huge wedding, there's a lot barriers women and parents have put before marriage so why should a muslim man go through all of this only for the marriage to last 3 or 4 months?
Muslim men don't want to follow the deen, they want to play around with women, they wanted to have the benefits of marriage without marriage. Some have become lazy as you said and men have lost their voice, their leadership.
It is sad because both muslim men and women are attacking each other on social media, a fight to determine who's better than the other and when it comes to marriage they forget to look in the mirror. In front of Allah how pure are your intentions?
" I don't want to get married now because i have to work on myself and i have to focus on my work and school " Excuses like this are the reasons you are not getting married. Dating is the reason you are not getting married, " I want to know the guy before i marry him, i wanna know all his red flags to know if he is the right person " Another excuse to fulfill your desires and whatever your intentions are. A person with good intentions towards you will never look for red flags and it doesn't mean they're ignoring them, they understand everyone has mistakes and no one is perfect but today how many men and women want a perfect person but will look you in the face and lie to you that they think no one is perfect.
I wholeheartedly agree and believe that whatever Allah wills will happen but that's not the only thing Allah has given us, He has given us knowledge, a mind so we can reason and think. The effort is upon us and not Allah, the effort is on you. But people use this as an excuse too, If Allah wills it then i will get married. You know what else Allah has willed to happen? salah, the five prayers that you pray everyday it only only happens by the will of Allah. What if you said I will pray if Allah wills it? What would happen? You probably wouldn't pray at all. So the effort is upon us and not Allah. And when you put in effort to get married, do it the halal way, no dating, respectful and clear conversations when you are getting to know each other. It doesn't take more than a month to get to know someone to an extent and you will never truly know who someone is and how they are until you marry them. Do not for a second think you need a year or two before getting married to that person, the more you delay the more sheytan gets involved, so do it as soon as you can.
What is stopping you? work, can you not work while you are married? School, can you not go to university or college when you are married? What is this ultimate thing that doesn't allow you to get married. Do you need to rent a house immediately? No you can stay at your parents house until you get your affairs in order " but i want a man who is rich and a man who has figured out life ", what's stopping you from being patient with each other, isn't this one of the tests of marriage? We have made marriage so difficult that engaging in zina is almost better than marriage, sad reality. We have made it soo difficult and any time someone asks you to get married we have all this excuses lined up, prepared very nicely more than we have prepared ourselves for the hereafter.
What in this world is more important than completing half of your deen? What is that soo important that you are willing to commit zina for?
I was called toxic for wanting marriage, I was heartbroken and left destroyed because I didn't want to continue to engage in a haram relationship. I was blocked and left like i was a stranger because i wanted marriage. It made me question myself, question my deen, this where we are as muslims, we want the haram more than the halal and whoever wants the halal they are labeled things. They are left. We say we want marriage but when it is brought in front of you, you run away from it.
So look in the mirror you know yourself more than anyone, you know the reasons why and you know your intentions. What effort have you put in to get married? Are you going about it the right way?
@@aminath92 She wanted to prolong a haram relationship. I stopped it and it was either marriage or we leave each other alone. She could've said ok but being called toxic for not wanting a haram relationship is very bizarre. Not being bitter at all.
This is what goes on in the world, people say they want marriage but come up with every excuse under the sun to not get married. Every excuse to keep committing zina but the one who wants to do the right thing is called bitter, toxic and everything else.
@@aminath92 It hasn't ruined anything for me but really took a huge chunk of me. What hurts is the excuses she gave me are the same ones both men and women are giving each other now. For me to find the right person its like looking for a needle in a haystack but nothing is impossible to Allah. She will come.
Well said, masha Allah. I completely agree that the problem is both men and women, period! Also would love to highlight nothing in your response came across as bitter. You shared your thoughts and an experience that taught you a valuable lesson which was extremely helpful . Jazak Allah khair
Fatama Allah has given power to bring life to this universe, it’s not upto Allah it You female has power to bring life. If a woman decided not have children nobody can do anything even in marriage it’s the woman who decides.the man has no power
I think the problem might be looking a guy in the wrong venue… especially online and making an intimate situation to a click bait
TRY JESUS FOR THE/A CHANGE X
There is no Job and therefore no Money. How will you be able to give Nikaa
Get job then
Give dates and coffee at the masjid for your nikah, where did we come up with these stupid standards?
Is marriage that important to you?
Do not settle!
I don’t want her to do that. That’ll just be bad for her and I’ve been there settling is terrible for any kind of man.
stop talking too much Fatma. just get married if that's what you want. Its not very difficult
This is a talking channel….😎
All the crying you do about not being married; you will deeply regret one day, that you were not appreciating your freedom when you were single. Mark my words!
Unless u end up with a bad spouse, then I don't know y one would regret marriage.
@@KojLok-dy6gp I repeat: One day, you will deeply regret not appreciating your freedom, when you were single.
@Age_less_dream_more with that mentality plz don't get married, and if you are, I am sorry for what u going through. Marriage isn't a prison, and it shouldn't be looked at as such.
@@KojLok-dy6gp Stay desperate for marriage and you will jump for the wrong marriage proposal; instead of purposefully until the right time comes...Signed, your sister who never WANTED to be married and has turned-down four different proposals. Living my best life, about to buy myself land in a foreign country, all alone.
@Age_less_dream_more yes, one should not jump head fast into a marriage, but from your viewpoint, marriage is a prison. What you are currently doing alone can be done with the right partner by your side. To conclude, there is nothing wrong with not being marriage but please don't spread your negative viewpoint.
Marriage is overrated and unnecessary. If I find someone to have kids with and share parental responsibilities I'll be happy.
No Way!! men age like wine. drop the standards b * * * *.
Put yourself out there maybe dating apps for Muslims, why not, try something different, especially if you cant meet someone in your workplace
I went on Muslim “dating” app and it’s utterly disgusting the kinds of men on there. They use it as last resort and there’s a bunch of men on there who did zina, divorcees, narcissists, going through breakup after having GF and just using the app to fill a void. There’s some who dupe you for time pass until they find someone from their culture.
The serious ones would go to the mosque often and put themselves out like that saying they are looking for wife or tell their family/friends
Marriage is a product of sophistry @ it is neither product of overanalysis paralysis. If you can't get married to the marriage u will never get married. Marriage is not a weaver bird exercise @ what is wrong with you is you.
Isn't rather
Everyday same topic 😒😏
You have a chance to give birth at least one child plz married before everything done ✅
This comment is absolutely Selfish 🙏🏾and Married age ain’t everything my beaut😉
Perhaps that so called child may be the one to bring her a lot of harm so maybe it’s best she not have them , Allahu Aalam . She does not need a child to take care of her , she has Allah.
I'm sure everyone will dei but the question is that what will you leave in this world?? At least leave children who take care of you when you become older and pray for you when you die if you get that chance.
@@cabdikarincabdulahi2447 ok not bad , but do you have a power to marry if allah not allowed you to marry
Please take care the emotion of others
Please stop the nonsense
Isku xisho waryaa dhalmada illah ba haya we have seen our 40s giving birth .
Who are you to judge others?
Dont fell sorry for Lady like this because they rejected too many good men. I can swore. When women talking about men, remember it is the top 5 men they talking. That is the problem.
😏
@@FatmaOdyssey
You like most women competing for top 5 high value men , and they have a lot of opinions about those top 5 men. 95 % of men are invisible for your women. There are many good men who are struggling for marriage. I feel so for those guys. Hardworking men but getting rejected.
I think you don't want to get married, you are picky maybe
I think she is also somehow lost, mixing loves and religion.
You like most women competing for top 5 high value men. Top 5 men you women fighting for have many other women running after them. 95 % of men are invisible for your women. There are many good men who are struggling for marriage. I feel sorry for those guys. Hardworking men but getting rejected.
You wasted your opportunity, no marriage is perfect but the main reason for marriage is to have a partner and kids, other reasons are irrelevant.
Do you even know she had an opportunity??? For some people this opportunity never comes!
@@MissSraG most girls got opportunities at young age but many decide not to take because of many reasons best to them, when they are over marriage age is when they realise they wasted opportunities.
@@dingdong7604 there is no marriage age. You can get married at any age
@@MissSraG for girls it's from 18-30 years, girls who aren't married at that age will have less than 25% chance of marriage.
@@MissSraG it's from 18-30 for women beyond that age less than 20% of women get married, if a girl uses that opportunity fine but if she failed she has to accept her fate.
Loved your reflection at the end of this video sis ❤🩹 We really should not let what others say rob us from experiencing the present moment. I'm realizing this more now and hope to be more mindful of it so that I m not consumed by it, InA. Alhamdulillah 'ala Kulli Hal.
Alhamdulillah sis,let go and let live 💕
❤