I'm having a hard time with a coworker that has extreme energy, like he's over the top. And I'm mellow, i can work hard and fast, just in a quiet way. Anyways, gonna try to set those abrasive feelings aside and focus on the job and learning what he has to show me.
This is very true; don't take it personally. But that's difficult and must we really have to approach work like a game of poker? I'm sure they got us doing team sports at school for a reason.
A good friend once said to me, "Save the world later. Right now, you need a job." It was in response my telling him I didn't agree with some of the policies of the company offering me employment. I'd always been a pretty good "game player", but I leveled up when he said that to me.
AGREED!! Since I temporarily don't have my millions in da bank..and if folks on here don't think Jeff Bezo, Gates, Buffett etc are not playing the game, they're fooling themselves!!
@@jacquelyncrosland1761 completely opposite, to get where they got to, you have to take massive risks, invent your own game and not play someone else's game.
I'd rather not get ahead in that case. Being poor really isn't that bad. Selling your pride and manhood for a paycheck is something only cowards do. Btw you guys don't have to worry about my finances. I trade stocks and options. I also sell insurance and annuities. I do live like a poor person, though, just because I don't know why the hell a nicer house and better car would make me happy. I'd much rather own 25,000 shares of Coca Cola and live in a double-wide than to live in a mansion and only have limited savings. My priority is FREEDOM. No material possession can ever take the place of freedom. Sadly, most of you guys will stay in debt to keep up with the Joneses and never have freedom. That is my idea of wasting your life. Why give a damn what the crowd thinks? Can you put their opinions in your checking account? I'd rather give up social approval in exchange for more freedom. To each his own!
Here's where playing the game turns to shit. When someone pretends a stupid idea is brilliant, there's a short term benefit for the one person who does it and a long term cost for everybody else. The head of our group at my old company did whatever the overlords wanted and after a few years, we had become so committed to stuff that didn't matter that we were shut down. That's why brown nosers are despised. Sometimes the originators of bad ideas need to know they're bad from the people who will actually execute them.
I ended up working for myself and that has been great, but I had a hard time cause kiss ass people moving up for less work/more money play the game best. There has to be a a mix between being professional and being honest
I learned the game when I was 20. Been playing it for 9 years. There is a definite line between playing the game and kissing ass. Never cross that line.
You should remember to try to not think things like that, because they could leak out of your mouth at an inconvenient time. "Playing the Game" means thinking the right way, outside of your comfort zone.
I had a teacher in middle school that had a huge influence on my outlook on life. He preached playing the game. This man fought in operation Desert Storm, then came back to teach. He recognized how my life was as a poor kid from an alcoholic family and gave me tools to elevate from that. Thank you Coach Mike Steinman!
I struggled with this A LOT. As I've become older and more mature I realized that, at least for me, the problem is a little bit ego, a little lack of confidence and a little bit insecurity. I'm just a pretty quiet person. I've had trouble making friends and engaging in social situations since I was a kid. I was always questioning if people actually liked and accepted me or if they only tolerated me because they would feel guilty rejecting me, then as soon as I'm not around talked about how much they don't like me. That made adopt a mindset of doing everything I could to be accepted and part of the group, a false front to put it plainly. So situations like the person in the letter asked about, I felt embarrassed and afraid to drop that front even for a second. I dunno exactly when but in the past few years I just finally accepted and embraced the concept of "Who cares what others think as long as I know myself and the morals and principles I live by" it was a huge weight lifted off of me. Now I'm much more comfortable just being myself.
Most people that can't socialize very well are highly intelligent and have trouble fitting in with normal situations at work and out and about. All you got to do it own your shit!!! Be happy knowing you're on your own path. NEVER follow the crowd!
ugh huge relate. in the process of aging, maturing, and accepting myself still though. only 20 years old so i guess i shouldn't expect the be a full version of myself yet
Stonehedge me too! I hate it because I’m genuine and feel I have way too much compassion/empathy that it drives me crazy when others show so little. Life is a learning experience that’s for sure.
CS Lewis talks about this in Mere Christianity. To be a “great pretender” if you will. If you have a hard time liking or loving someone, like and love them until you actually like and love them. Be kind and do acts of care to others who you don’t actually care for until you come to like or care for them. It is a dynamic of the abstract becoming the reality.
Absolutely nothing makes sense here and life is 99% a mistake...and I say 99 cause there is some small glimmer of hope thanks to numbers sent to us from some other reality. At least that’s something.
Of course athiests jump at the word "Christianity." Just read this section in the chapter about Forgiveness the other night. Good stuff. God bless you man.
It's not a question of being fake vs. real. It's a matter of how you approach and frame the task at hand. The real magic happens when you turn the game into a game
i seee nothing wrong with being forthcoming with your thoughts unless your thoughts are that ignorant. Edit: and you are unwilling to learn you may be wrong with your thoughts. 2nd edit: its ok to be wrong as log as you are welcome to being wrong.
You can be forthcoming without being a jerk. But if you kiss ass over a bad idea to make more money.....that makes fake friends but lots of friends fake or not. Hard balance
Love this. I'm usually very quiet and focused on my work, I never consider showing emotion. For me it's all about action and results, but unfortunately most people are surface level thinkers and seem to think what they see is the whole story. So it's important to go with the flow sometimes and not be in my head all the time.
Yes! And if you do play the game, stay 2 steps or positions ahead of the most powerful there and the most cunning. "“Behold, I send you like sheep in the midst of wolves; so be cunning as snakes and candid like doves. »Matthew 10:16 "
everyone is always faking it tho lol, i mean no one at work is your friend neither in school because as soon as the oppertunity arrives they will stab u in the back.
I never played the game and I never got to where I should have. I regret nothing! This life is to short to play a game for a rank, money, or promotion!
True. NEVER KISSED ASS can be chiseled on my tombstone. If I can't earn it by merit then I don't need it. I'd rather keep my integrity. Funny thing is this: They don't like me much, but they keep me around because I have skills and a work ethic.
And you’re the guy that cries and complains when the promotion list comes out “That guy got promoted? I’m better than him!” ... guys like you don’t see the bigger picture. That’s why you didn’t advance - you don’t get it. It’s not about kissing ass. You learn the game - you play by your own rules and get what YOU want.
@@taharqa332 really depends on the job. If the job is something worth having then yeah to a degree play the "game" aka kiss ass. If it's a dime a dozen job the boss can kick rocks bc that boss will always have their "pets" so no matter the ass kissing the pet will always reap the benefits
@@Slowther87 Playing the game isn't ass kissing, i don't know if you people didn't get it, but that's nothing to do with it. Playing the game is being a professional, do the job despite your bad feelings, and do it with a happy face.
What he is saying is true, and is why psychopaths get ahead in life. They say whatever they have to get ahead. You can't even tell they're faking it, because they have no shame.
He didnt say to say whatever possible to get ahead. Thats why he gave the example with billy. He said play the game up until you reach the line of your (good) moral principles. Then you no longer need to play it cuz its not right.
@@PolishBehemoth he also gave examples of being all for and into a bosses bad idea......that's letting a company suffer so you can avoid them thinking negative
I was taught that being a hard worker and showing loyalty at work was the way to get far in the company. But after 8 years I have seen its the kiss ass chumps that go up. It's the guy who holds onto the bosses pocket and agrees with the worst ideas he has. And that makes them more "qualified". I have more pride than to be the suck up kiss ass. I am the bust ass, hard working, get shit done person. Idk who else to be
James Moeller I don't think he is saying "kiss ass". You can still say no to a boss without saying their idea is dumb directly. Give them an alternative. A kiss ass will eventually fail.
Truthfully I’ve arrived to the conclusion that there really is no rhyme or reason to work culture. I’ve seen also on the flipside a lot of ass kissers get nowhere but I myself as a hard worker don’t see much progress either. I think hate to say but LUCK does play a factor or be in a position where a higher up is all hot over you. Just hanging in there and doing your best is all there’s to do.
I don't think it's about faking anything. I think it's about realizing that every business has a people aspect, and going out of your way to connect with others will get you further and you have to do that even when you don't feel like it. Some people might do it in a fake and kiss ass kind of way, but that doesn't mean that you have to. Connect and learn about that person and go out of your way to connect so that they know who you are, what you're doing, etc, and you'll go further. When your boss needs to make a promotion decision they're just likely to go with the person they trust the most and know the most about, because it's not always easy to determine who the best worker is and who accomplishes the most. And, you might also find that the boss has some reason for not promoting you (maybe people skills aren't on point or you can't motivate people for instance, which becomes more necessary as you move up the corporate ladder) and you don't know why others got promoted and so your half-informed opinion can only explain it by saying they're a kiss ass. And, now you don't know what you need to change to move forward, and might not even change at all because you're under the impression that all is well.
I'm sure there are tons of details about your story that you have left out that wouldn't paint it in a positive light to people reading your comment. 8 years and you haven't gone up once? I'm not saying what you're saying isn't true but there is obviously more to it. 🤔
when i first started working i had the fortune of being put with an old dude that sat me down and gave me this advice: 1, the people you work with are not your friends. they will stab you in the back and act like nothing happened the next day. 2, only trust the people you work with as far as you can see or check on them. 3, everyone talks and the walls have ears, if you don't want anyone to know something about you do not tell anyone at work. 4, you saw nothing, mind your own business. if it looks like a problem stay the hell away from it. 5, always have an excuse ready to fire or someone else to blame. 6, never ever put in 100%, if you know your job 60-80% will suffice. the day is long, you work with idiots, pace yourself. 7, you are working for money for you/and your family not the company. if it doesn't look 110% safe do not do it. 8, if you see a better job elsewhere leave and take that job. it took me getting fucked over a few times before i really started to follow this mantra.
@Dirk Knight oh dude, 23 years ago i would have completely agreed with you. i was a happy little do it all for years until i kept getting screwed over and stepped on. when my old buddy retired he owned his own house clear, some apartments and moved to a place on the beach. i now work the same way he did and i'm about on track to do something similar when i retire. so if the rules i follow above is wrong that's fine with me.
When I was in the navy some black shipmate once told me “man you got to learn how to play the game”. I was German immigrant kid used to German straight forward, bluntly honest culture. I didn’t even know what he meant by that. Now I know. I recommend anyone to read Green’s 48 Laws of Power. I wish I would’ve read it in my 20s.
I think it’s a balance but there’s a way to navigate it and still maintain your integrity. I saw Tom Cruise on an interview years ago and they asked “what do you do when you’re acting but really tired?”....he said “I play the character tired.” I think finding the balance is something like that.
I NEEDED THIS! This is such an applicable concept in the military. In my almost 5th year of 6 on my current enlistment and I have had this struggle the entire time. I was reclassed from USAF special warfare after failing a land nav six months in (smh) into a career field I just despise every day. Going from such a high-speed atmosphere with men and a team that thrived and wanted to be there and put the fuck out daily, then to be put into regular complacent big blue Air Force, it takes its toll on me. With being around so many inept "leaders" and colleagues I work with on top of being in a job I don't enjoy it has been difficult setting my ego aside and putting on that mask of "I'm happy to be here and ready do this work attitude." However, Jocko is right, when you don't put that facade on, you get shunned and have targets put on your back. Late by one minute? Paperwork. Messed up on a job? Paperwork. It backfires on you, and I know this personally. I will try to finish out this last year of my contract playing the game and moving on with my life. I'm learning. Thanks, Jocko.
@@theexplorer7139 Oh, 1000%! I mean, think about it - not everyone is cut out to be a leader. In the military, you take a test (at least in the enlisted tier) that will determine if you're ready for the next rank. So you may have a fast burner 23-year old that tested out and put on staff sergeant, and now he/she is a "leader." Not saying that age is correlated to faulty leadership. But to say since a person passed a test and now you're in charge of a handful of troops underneath you is ridiculous. In the Air Force, at least, there needs to be mandatory leadership reading lists and seminars with people like Jocko because a lot of these non-commissioned officers and officers don't have a clue about leadership and having it so that people respect you and want to follow you.
The Explorer Bad leadership is more prevalent in the military than the private sector and it’s not even close. The military doesn’t have to turn a profit or be efficient in any way, all it has to do is look good. This all changes during times of actual no shit war, but unfortunately a lot of good men die weeding out the bad leaders in the process. Primarily good leadership in the military exists a year or so into a war, and depending on its scale and duration, can last for a few decades. Keep in mind our last actual war ended in the early 70s, and even then politics prevented a lot of the good leaders of that era from advancing.
I experienced the same thing in the Air Force. You are right about being targeted if you don’t play the game. If you just show up and do your job and don’t play the game, they think you are not a team player that doesn’t want to conform to the culture and then they will force you out by starting a paper trail on petty offenses. This happens in the civilian world too. Us real dudes have to deal with this out whole careers.
@@jamesmeezy3114 Thanks, James. Yeah, sadly, I have to leave. I start about three months of terminal in August. I'll always wonder if I could have liked the Air Force had I been put in a career field I enjoyed and not a Dirtboy.... But I am sure the civilian world is no different. The benefit is that I can quit and not have to stay there for six damn years, haha. Cheers to the future.
What you are really saying is "work the system established, until you're in a position to effect the system." Thats exactly what you did in OCS. There are many outfits out there that intentionally foster a work environment that prioritizes honest interaction, and therefore require less "playing the game." I think people have to take inventory of the level of working the system their principles will allow in the given environment. You are correct that most work environments don't ask you to compromise integrity, but they may ask you to elevate above your natural levels of politeness, courtesy, butt kissing, etc.
@Aries Handsome "The Game" in my context is learning to keep a cool head and my eyes fixed on the price (promotion) and not taking it personal when my employer is being a prick. Learning to play The Game for me is more of a lesson in long-suffering and keeping my eyes on the price. It's all about being strategic in the workplace, that is the game.
The effort these peers take to sabotage you, is wasted energy that should have been expended in self productivity and improvement. But never forget: solidarity is a muscular skill; you must develop it with time put-in.
Great advice: the only person you hurt, if you don't play the game, is yourself. Put your pride aside, but stay true to your principles. And always be professional!
Cheers guys I been struggling with a coworker and having trouble moving forward but though I been watching my ego and support the team I do need to check my personal emotions! Time to recalibrate and push on.
When I started working in the school with kids I didn't have the right level of excitement and passion, I was a dud. I learned through observing the best teachers how to bring that level of fun, excitement and passion. Kids feed off that energy. So when you start teaching them something new, you need to bring it so they're excited to learn it. It's a win win for everyone. I had to learn how to loosen up, not be so serious and just have some fun.
As a young Soldier I hated the promotion process. I can memorize all kinds of information and look sharp in a uniform and the senior NCOs say I'm good to put on the next rank. Yet no one asks if I'm good at my MOS Job Tasks. I didn't want to participate in that bunk process. It took me a long time to learn this lesson. You are spot on playing the game to cause now 15 years later, I'm the master at it.
Ask the question to yourself, “is this the game I need to play to win?”. You are just going into areas that aren’t most comfortable, it just allows other areas of your personality to come out. Jocko is Spot On.
Contriving a personality that isn't yours for others isn't coming out of your shell so to speak it's being something you're not for others, which is worse.
@@lowsi3153 "Contriving a personality that isn't yours". Damn, that was very well said. It's like, Yea it's you because you are contriving this character but it's basically acting. You are acting as a character that you are not. If that is not you in real life then you are not showing another aspect of your personality. You are just acting as someone else. Sometimes I do think this can still help you become a better professional and help you learn to keep your emotions out when needed but this can become exhausting and depressing. I feel it's like code-switching.
Apprenticeships can put you to the test. By the time you are expected to graduate they expect you to put up. Argue with a foreman and an engineer because your life and someone else's is on the line. Electricity can kill if you make a mistake. I really had no idea how intense it could get until my fifth year. I needed a career shift. Lots of us listened to Jocko at the time to try and push ourselves without falling to stress.
Fuck yes i needed to hear this....thank you so much! You are the best, man. 'Playing the game' totally applies to me right now. I just started a new job, the lady who hired me boosted me up big time by seeing the potential i have and seeing me as an asset to the company, something that really has never happened before, so thia is a huge confidence booster and game changer for me. Now that I'm working with this large team I've been wondering how to play the game. It's union, never belonged to one before, heard today that people are moving their 'pieces' into position and trying to plan on taking somebody out. Ya, it's a game, there's politics and seniority. She wants me to move to managerial position soon, but I'm just been wondering how to "act". My ego was getting to me today, I need to stay humble and learn from the masters that have been there forever. Management wants to have my 'work drive', that's what's been lacking for them. Anyways, I'm over analyzing now. Play the game. Put ego in check. Check. Keep reading Extreme Ownership.
The saying "Fake it Till you make it" got me attempting things I was always afraid to try because I know I won't do it right, such as being confident. I faked being confident until I slowly realized what it really meant to be confident from within. "Faking" has a negative connotation but I like to think of it as "imagining". Youre imagining that you are capable, and suddenly things that you thought were incapable of seem easy and possible.
Playing the game at work is why you don’t see the most trustworthy, courageous, honest people get promoted. Too many people buying into that shit philosophy. I saw it in the Navy, so I’m confused here. On your evaluations its gotten to the point where you’re EXPECTED to stretch the truth, be misleading and even deceitful. Politicians run the world, and they are trying to turn us into them. Damn near every workplace is like this. The snake rises to the top. We’ve sat by and allowed this to happen by “playing the game”.
Ive seen it too man. Shitty people rise to the top and make things terrible for everyone. Psychopaths would do great for this “game” terrible advice tbh
Robert Greene's Law of Power #1 Never outshine the master. Even if you are not trying, you can outshine the master just by being you. Most bosses are insecure which draws them to the title due to their insecurity and seeking validation. They are threatened by competent and well liked individuals within the organization. Those people are never promoted, I see it all the time in the federal government. Playing the game is not outshining your boss, mute the side of you that is likely to draw their attention and awaken their insecurity. I like think of it as an alter ego, a mask one must wear. I use the analogy of Bruce Wayne and the Batman. The Batman is truly himself even though he wears a mask. The person wearing the "mask" is Wayne, which he does so to keep up the appearance, or may I say play the game, which allows Batman to operate in the shadows.
The snake is winning is because good people aren’t playing the game. They’re sitting on their hands pondering if they’re being super real 100% of the time.
@@muzzy2316 The points matter as much as your steam achievements or likes on social media. They are confidence models. checkmarks to be checked on a never ending list. Do they have any real value? The game goes on with or without you. There is no point to this game because there is no end or victory conditions. You just play the game until you die. Then you lose all your points and some other sap starts playing again. PT Barnum said it best.
People don't understand what Jocko means. He's truly wise. He's simply saying that you play the game so you can be a bigger force of change when the time comes. You stick to your principles for people following you. But you play the game upwards, fake it a little. You enact your principles for the people below you. Sure it may be "hypocritical" but its about the results. Sometimes you can't be the change you want to see if you're not even in the position for change.
Yea I know what you mean Jocko. Before she died my mother expressed concerns about raising kids too honest for this world ;) She was targeting that aspect of social life, where fake people have it easier than honest people. I see your point Jocko. Just as much as I see my mother's point. But I emphasis one thing : the journey is more important than the destination. You want a position in a company? How you get there, will determine how you will act once there. As you said, humans are not robots. Our actions shape our thinking process. So, to anyone, I'd just say, think about who you want to be, and act like that already. That's it.
Play the game. Very cool you responded Jocko & made this video for all of us. Good question Firefighter. Be safe out there. I work on powerlines so we're out there together Brother.
"Playing the game" is in many ways dishonest, and it's definitely a compromise in personal integrity. The real art is _not_ playing along to get along, and succeeding anyway. One doesn't _have to_ play the game, one choses to play. And usually that choice is simply because it's the path of least resistance ... it's easier. If a person sticks to his own principals, doesn't play along, but does it respectfully, stays professional and considerate, he'll be more respected because everybody wishes they could be that strong too. Don't play the game, stick to your own path.
ICBMCatcher As a retired fireman, I’ve been through this, what they’re trying to do is get him to accept a tactic known as “buying in” to whatever the current upper management propaganda is at the time. The fire department is no longer what it used to be. There was a camaraderie and a brotherhood when I first joined, and now it’s just like any other corporate entity. And if you don’t “buy in” to whatever the “flavor of the time” is, you WILL pay the price. So he has two choices: 1) give in and “act the part” or 2) not give in, forgo the promotion, and do the best he can at the level he’s currently at. But if he picks #2, he best be prepared for some blowback and hope the union is ready to back him up, because he’ll have to pay a price for being an independent thinker. I chose #2, and that’s a rough road to travel.
It’s a sad state of affairs and says a lot about the societies we find ourselves having to live in. Our state of mind is the most precious commodity. Playing the game while keeping ones own integrity is tough, especially when you feel surrounded by those that have none. One wonders if it is the current establishments that set by example and the laws/policies they introduce or if human kind is going through a period of d/evolution.
I don't believe in being fake, but I do believe in following orders. Either do what you're told or get out. It must be exceptional circumstances to be right to refuse to play the game you're paid to play. Tact is something of a different issue. Don't just tell whatever truth that first comes into your mind: say the true thing that's actually useful, taking everything into account. Just saying what you think is bad communication, you have to start from where they're at, in a way they can hear. Don't lie, but do actually communicate.
A thought: the fire department ask you to "roleplay" in order to make sure that you can lead with passion no matter the circumstance. No matter how small the task, a team leader of the firefighters must behave as if life and death was on the line, because when you are out fighting a fire it is life and death. We are what we repeatedly do, thus one must strive for excellence in all one does to not faulter when one is needed the most.
Play the game, coming from a military man. Expected. I disagree whole heartedly. Boys you will NEVER be happy working under someone else. Gather skills, create your own business and be your own boss it’s the only way. Acquire Skills, Lift Heavy Weight, Struggle. If you must work for the man to gain the original capitol then so be it.
Leaf Oakenshield exactly. I responded to someone else by telling them YOU chose to work for a company so you need to get along and play by their rules to stay employed and excel. If you don’t want to play the game, go and be your own boss. You can’t be a badass rebel, collect a check AND keep the job.
Play the game temporarily to learn how to run shit well and then start your own company. True happiness when you own your own life and are your own boss. Kinda like the difference between being an adult and being a child.
I see a lot of people in the comments that don't understand what's being said here. Controlling your emotions, choosing you words carefully, and influencing others through empathy is not deceit, it's maturity.
I found the point about playing the game being benevolent really interesting. If you play the game and your leadership will help lead the troops the right way, it's good for everybody. This point makes "playing the game" easier to stomach.
You play the game long enough and fake it long enough. You become fake eventually. Fake it till you make it? Fake being fake till you make it? Make what? Oh yeah, fake being fake, until you become fake. Doesn't sound like a winning formula to me... Ever wonder how fake people become fake? We all enter this world fairly inn[cent as children. Then "the game" slowly sucks away your soul. Just my two cents.
I disagree. You only become fake if you lose sight of yourself and what's important to you. Some jobs might be soul crushing, but thats why you find another job.
No that's not how that work you can be professional all you want but it doesn't help when you're working with a bunch of morons that's when you have yo be fake so you won't blow up on anyone
From my experience telling the wife the chicken is dry is an honest evaluation and she can't hope to correct the problem if everyone just lies to her about how dry or not the chicken really is. One doesn't need to be a jerk about it but maybe sitting down and doing some research and trying new things will result in having a more delicious meal and her having the feeling of accomplishment and overcoming challenge. Just my 2C worth. Love the videos Jocko, Thank you for your service.
Jesus, I hate playing the game. I suck at masking my emotions. I don't scream or yell or curse but my face shows what I'm feeling. "I need you to come in on your day off." "Okay." "You're making a face, you don't want to work?" So many of those conversations with my boss.
that is not the game you are having difficulty being assertive. and with assertiveness. you can still play the game You need to let him know "you will be more motivated to work on your days off, for increased pay of around 2-5$/hour. otherwise it is not worth it for you. " watch his face change. and do not budge unless you get what you want. remember YOU can always say NO!
I learned years ago it's all about perception. If you are perceived as agreeable and a team player, you will advance. The guy that busts his ass all day, but doesn't go to the company parties, or laugh at the bosses jokes, will rarely advance.
that joke about the wife was so good (especially his wife voice made it even funnier) I was listening to it while working out and had to stop in between... Jocko's humour is on point 😂 as are his teachings
I appreciate this conversation. I'm a shift manager at a manufacturing plant and I'm constantly developing new leaders. I get this "I'm not gonna act fake" crap all the time. You've helped verify my thoughts and helped me to clearly articulate my response and rational. Who'd of thought youd become a professional life coach. Keep it up teach!
This is dope. I always had military type mindset since I was young. As a result, I never felt like I belonged anywhere. I might add that I grew up in the church and was transformed to being a more agreeable person which made me very unhappy. Over the years I came to realize that the military mindset is actually good and can help me move forward in my own way. Jocko really helped shine a light on this. Also, faking it by doing things that make you uncomfortable you can be a better version of yourself to lead others and make more money for your family is good, but lying or adding false flattery to get something you want just for yourself is selfish and wrong. Always think about the team not just yourself and you will get way ahead in life
The best part about this video is rewatching it after reading about playing the game in the brand new leadership strategy and tactics. It gives it a little more depth and shows how serious and honest jocks is here, him saying almost the same thing he has in his book and reinforcing that concept
It's not that ppl have to "fake it", they just have to figure out how to do it in THEIR OWN authentically expressed way. That's important.... their boss' way might not feel right to them, but they can figure out how to do it passionately in their own way.
I love this conversation. This is such a problem for some people as to whether going along with some behaviors is pure fakery or actually just the fairest, most humble way to go about things.
Your relationship with your coworkers can be more important than the job itself sometimes. I wouldnt "suck up" to anyone and be fake, but just try to be professional and tolerant of unfavorable personalities. If you are quiet and offputting to people, how well you do your job may not matter. Just depends on the job. If its not a skilled job and the only way to stand out is to build a relationship with coworkers, then youd be an idiot to not do that.
The key line of difference is when playing the game involves going agianst the principles of right and wrong. His example with billy is perfect! This video is brilliantly more important than alot of people give credit for.
Oh, WOW! I researched it and freaking thank you VERY much!!! I'll be studying it as I think people are 99% hypocrites in a job setting, to save their behinds! Quite refreshing!
I wonder how this conversation would go with Jordan Peterson. Jordan promotes not falsifying your existence which, in part, is what Jocko is laying out.
Well....no one likes somebody who puts up a facade IN THE LONG RUN, people in HIGH positions of power are professionals at spotting fakeness, and will prefer an honest, asshole who works good enough (whose intentions are beneficial to the business) to a yes-man. So I'm on Peterson's side
@@dariankaltenbach8062 a good leader won't expect getting his ass kissed at all times, in fact he'd be VERY cautious of it. BUT....if it just so happens he's dealing with an overly submissive person, then either way that's not a person who you'd want moving up to a leadership position. A leader can't be submissive or a people pleaser.
So true. When I was in the mil I played the game to the letter and was rewarded handsomely for it even though there were people who had superior knowledge and/or work ethic. You either play the game or you lose. Plain and simple.
Johnny Killjoy it all depends what your motivations and priorities are in life. A family man may decide the “game” is worth playing. To each his own. It’s all about your goals. With that being said I’m horrible at playing the game myself and do cherish my authenticity.
This is my first Jocko video. If you choose to be a part of a company, there are “requirements” to stay employed or excel. If you want to be your own man 100% then start your own company. It’s not about being fake. Find a way to do what they want you to do since YOU chose to be employed by them. Silence is wise so don’t be fake; make an “appropriate but neutral” comment if needed. Participation is wise. Flipping their dumb requests into a wisdom moment for yourself is the key: AKA how to get along with others. As long as it’s legal and ethical, do it if you want this job.
I work at the parks in Disney World where being a fake person is literally part of the job. People say that it must be horrifying to be forced to smile and play the character day after day or get fired. The truth is that it’s actually healthy. Forcing the smile chemically puts you in a good mood and the cast members who do the job right will have otherwise rude and frustrating customers warming up to them and referencing them in the online survey. Thus getting the manager’s attention and earning that raise/promotion.
My wife calls me the Bullshit Master because this is seemingly, in her eyes, what I do well in every work environment I've been in: playing the game. The way I've always seen it is we all wear different personas depending on where we go and what we do and who we interact with. As a teacher, I'm more outgoing and expressive. As a dad, I can go from silly to hard-ass when as the need arises. As a friend, I'm looser. You don't have to "fake" anything. You just got to wear the persona of the person who you know will get the job done.
Lemurai so it hasn’t even started yet with the new system and some of you are already negative and making excuses. Sounds like people preparing for failure to me.
I totally agree with Jocko. Hell yes. Playing the game doesn’t mean to lie & cheat your way through the system. Having compassion or being passionate in the work force is a required skill. & it’s a skill you probably need to develop. But playing the game doesn’t mean you have to lie. Lying will get no one anywhere. Same as not playing the game. Instead of complimenting Echo’s haircut (which you don’t like) find something you actually enjoy about Echo & compliment that. If a customer has a dumb question or a boss has a stupid idea, dont lie and say it’s good just to play the game. Figure what you actually think is good about the idea. Then in both cases, help this person move forward & get better. That’s the game. Play the game, don’t be dishonest. Don’t lie. But play the game
To master the game is to not take it personal. Don’t let others control you emotionally. How others act is a reflection on themselves, not you.
I'm having a hard time with a coworker that has extreme energy, like he's over the top. And I'm mellow, i can work hard and fast, just in a quiet way. Anyways, gonna try to set those abrasive feelings aside and focus on the job and learning what he has to show me.
@@journeyfurthur6396 You two together could probably even work well.
Needed to hear this today
This is very true; don't take it personally. But that's difficult and must we really have to approach work like a game of poker? I'm sure they got us doing team sports at school for a reason.
#Facts Preach brother.
A good friend once said to me, "Save the world later. Right now, you need a job." It was in response my telling him I didn't agree with some of the policies of the company offering me employment. I'd always been a pretty good "game player", but I leveled up when he said that to me.
AGREED!! Since I temporarily don't have my millions in da bank..and if folks on here don't think Jeff Bezo, Gates, Buffett etc are not playing the game, they're fooling themselves!!
Jacqie C; Buffett, Gates, & Bezos more than likely played the game in past, but they own the game now
@@jacquelyncrosland1761 completely opposite, to get where they got to, you have to take massive risks, invent your own game and not play someone else's game.
I’ve refused to play the game for years and it’s gotten me nowhere. Just started realizing it’s the only way to get ahead unfortunately
I'd rather not get ahead in that case. Being poor really isn't that bad. Selling your pride and manhood for a paycheck is something only cowards do.
Btw you guys don't have to worry about my finances. I trade stocks and options. I also sell insurance and annuities. I do live like a poor person, though, just because I don't know why the hell a nicer house and better car would make me happy. I'd much rather own 25,000 shares of Coca Cola and live in a double-wide than to live in a mansion and only have limited savings. My priority is FREEDOM. No material possession can ever take the place of freedom.
Sadly, most of you guys will stay in debt to keep up with the Joneses and never have freedom. That is my idea of wasting your life. Why give a damn what the crowd thinks? Can you put their opinions in your checking account? I'd rather give up social approval in exchange for more freedom. To each his own!
William Thrower
Thank you 🙏
Here's where playing the game turns to shit. When someone pretends a stupid idea is brilliant, there's a short term benefit for the one person who does it and a long term cost for everybody else. The head of our group at my old company did whatever the overlords wanted and after a few years, we had become so committed to stuff that didn't matter that we were shut down. That's why brown nosers are despised. Sometimes the originators of bad ideas need to know they're bad from the people who will actually execute them.
I ended up working for myself and that has been great, but I had a hard time cause kiss ass people moving up for less work/more money play the game best. There has to be a a mix between being professional and being honest
I learned the game when I was 20. Been playing it for 9 years. There is a definite line between playing the game and kissing ass. Never cross that line.
Imagine telling your boss he got a nice haircut but he doesn't even have a single strand of hair.
Killing the game!
You should remember to try to not think things like that, because they could leak out of your mouth at an inconvenient time. "Playing the Game" means thinking the right way, outside of your comfort zone.
😂😂😂
I don’t look at them just walk out the back foot 😳
I’m glad I didn’t have to scroll very far to find this comment. Thank you 😆
I had a teacher in middle school that had a huge influence on my outlook on life. He preached playing the game. This man fought in operation Desert Storm, then came back to teach. He recognized how my life was as a poor kid from an alcoholic family and gave me tools to elevate from that. Thank you Coach Mike Steinman!
I struggled with this A LOT. As I've become older and more mature I realized that, at least for me, the problem is a little bit ego, a little lack of confidence and a little bit insecurity. I'm just a pretty quiet person. I've had trouble making friends and engaging in social situations since I was a kid. I was always questioning if people actually liked and accepted me or if they only tolerated me because they would feel guilty rejecting me, then as soon as I'm not around talked about how much they don't like me. That made adopt a mindset of doing everything I could to be accepted and part of the group, a false front to put it plainly. So situations like the person in the letter asked about, I felt embarrassed and afraid to drop that front even for a second. I dunno exactly when but in the past few years I just finally accepted and embraced the concept of "Who cares what others think as long as I know myself and the morals and principles I live by" it was a huge weight lifted off of me. Now I'm much more comfortable just being myself.
Most people that can't socialize very well are highly intelligent and have trouble fitting in with normal situations at work and out and about. All you got to do it own your shit!!! Be happy knowing you're on your own path. NEVER follow the crowd!
🎸
ugh huge relate.
in the process of aging, maturing, and accepting myself still though.
only 20 years old so i guess i shouldn't expect the be a full version of myself yet
You just explained me 😲
Stonehedge me too! I hate it because I’m genuine and feel I have way too much compassion/empathy that it drives me crazy when others show so little. Life is a learning experience that’s for sure.
"As we ascend the social ladder, viciousness wears a thicker mask.” - Erich Fromm
But it's not worth it! "When you get on top of the mountain there is... nothing". You're alone on the top.
The quote is lacking enough context to be very meaningful. (And who said it isn’t relevant)
" I am the Game"--- HHH
"I am the liqour"- J.L
*Glass Shatters*
@@icon0clast274 the Texas Rattle snake
Martti Tanner RIP
He played the game all right right to the top of the company by being in the boss's daughter if you think about it
CS Lewis talks about this in Mere Christianity. To be a “great pretender” if you will. If you have a hard time liking or loving someone, like and love them until you actually like and love them. Be kind and do acts of care to others who you don’t actually care for until you come to like or care for them. It is a dynamic of the abstract becoming the reality.
' Mere Christianity. To be a “great pretender” '
Couldn't agree more.
... and then die consequently from your guts being rotten from the inside out...
steel belt scream or just do whatever you want and understand that you gonna pay the price for that. In the end its your choice
Absolutely nothing makes sense here and life is 99% a mistake...and I say 99 cause there is some small glimmer of hope thanks to numbers sent to us from some other reality.
At least that’s something.
Of course athiests jump at the word "Christianity." Just read this section in the chapter about Forgiveness the other night. Good stuff. God bless you man.
It's not a question of being fake vs. real. It's a matter of how you approach and frame the task at hand. The real magic happens when you turn the game into a game
*being forthcoming with all your thoughts has never made anyone a lot of friends 💪😅*
There is no friends at work. Ever.
i seee nothing wrong with being forthcoming with your thoughts unless your thoughts are that ignorant.
Edit: and you are unwilling to learn you may be wrong with your thoughts.
2nd edit: its ok to be wrong as log as you are welcome to being wrong.
You can be forthcoming without being a jerk. But if you kiss ass over a bad idea to make more money.....that makes fake friends but lots of friends fake or not. Hard balance
U right
A quiet man. A man who keeps his counsel.
Love this. I'm usually very quiet and focused on my work, I never consider showing emotion. For me it's all about action and results, but unfortunately most people are surface level thinkers and seem to think what they see is the whole story. So it's important to go with the flow sometimes and not be in my head all the time.
Bingo
Amen 👍
Same here brother
Learning how to bend to their rules without breaking your own.
Yes! And if you do play the game, stay 2 steps or positions ahead of the most powerful there and the most cunning. "“Behold, I send you like sheep in the midst of wolves; so be cunning as snakes and candid like doves. »Matthew 10:16
"
VOTED BEST COMMENT!!
*ADAPT!!*
"It's not like I'm gonna fake it once I attain the promotion"-- statement of how many politicians...
everyone is always faking it tho lol, i mean no one at work is your friend neither in school because as soon as the oppertunity arrives they will stab u in the back.
I never played the game and I never got to where I should have. I regret nothing! This life is to short to play a game for a rank, money, or promotion!
True. NEVER KISSED ASS can be chiseled on my tombstone.
If I can't earn it by merit then I don't need it. I'd rather keep my integrity.
Funny thing is this: They don't like me much, but they keep me around because I have skills and a work ethic.
Les Nash Yep; guys like you are needed.
And you’re the guy that cries and complains when the promotion list comes out “That guy got promoted? I’m better than him!” ... guys like you don’t see the bigger picture. That’s why you didn’t advance - you don’t get it. It’s not about kissing ass. You learn the game - you play by your own rules and get what YOU want.
@@taharqa332 really depends on the job. If the job is something worth having then yeah to a degree play the "game" aka kiss ass. If it's a dime a dozen job the boss can kick rocks bc that boss will always have their "pets" so no matter the ass kissing the pet will always reap the benefits
@@Slowther87 Playing the game isn't ass kissing, i don't know if you people didn't get it, but that's nothing to do with it. Playing the game is being a professional, do the job despite your bad feelings, and do it with a happy face.
What he is saying is true, and is why psychopaths get ahead in life. They say whatever they have to get ahead. You can't even tell they're faking it, because they have no shame.
He didnt say to say whatever possible to get ahead. Thats why he gave the example with billy. He said play the game up until you reach the line of your (good) moral principles. Then you no longer need to play it cuz its not right.
@@PolishBehemoth he also gave examples of being all for and into a bosses bad idea......that's letting a company suffer so you can avoid them thinking negative
I think tactful and tactical are constantly going through his mind.
Tactful is the key
This message was one I needed to hear right now. On point
"Don't be scared homie"
If you know you know
Needed that.
209 :)
ruclips.net/video/KLdDmeyMJls/видео.html
@@dm20422 ty sir
Nate Diaz oh wait Nick
I was taught that being a hard worker and showing loyalty at work was the way to get far in the company. But after 8 years I have seen its the kiss ass chumps that go up. It's the guy who holds onto the bosses pocket and agrees with the worst ideas he has. And that makes them more "qualified". I have more pride than to be the suck up kiss ass. I am the bust ass, hard working, get shit done person. Idk who else to be
James Moeller I don't think he is saying "kiss ass". You can still say no to a boss without saying their idea is dumb directly. Give them an alternative. A kiss ass will eventually fail.
Truthfully I’ve arrived to the conclusion that there really is no rhyme or reason to work culture. I’ve seen also on the flipside a lot of ass kissers get nowhere but I myself as a hard worker don’t see much progress either. I think hate to say but LUCK does play a factor or be in a position where a higher up is all hot over you. Just hanging in there and doing your best is all there’s to do.
I don't think it's about faking anything. I think it's about realizing that every business has a people aspect, and going out of your way to connect with others will get you further and you have to do that even when you don't feel like it. Some people might do it in a fake and kiss ass kind of way, but that doesn't mean that you have to. Connect and learn about that person and go out of your way to connect so that they know who you are, what you're doing, etc, and you'll go further. When your boss needs to make a promotion decision they're just likely to go with the person they trust the most and know the most about, because it's not always easy to determine who the best worker is and who accomplishes the most. And, you might also find that the boss has some reason for not promoting you (maybe people skills aren't on point or you can't motivate people for instance, which becomes more necessary as you move up the corporate ladder) and you don't know why others got promoted and so your half-informed opinion can only explain it by saying they're a kiss ass. And, now you don't know what you need to change to move forward, and might not even change at all because you're under the impression that all is well.
Maybe be your own boss? And create your own game.
I'm sure there are tons of details about your story that you have left out that wouldn't paint it in a positive light to people reading your comment. 8 years and you haven't gone up once? I'm not saying what you're saying isn't true but there is obviously more to it. 🤔
when i first started working i had the fortune of being put with an old dude that sat me down and gave me this advice:
1, the people you work with are not your friends. they will stab you in the back and act like nothing happened the next day.
2, only trust the people you work with as far as you can see or check on them.
3, everyone talks and the walls have ears, if you don't want anyone to know something about you do not tell anyone at work.
4, you saw nothing, mind your own business. if it looks like a problem stay the hell away from it.
5, always have an excuse ready to fire or someone else to blame.
6, never ever put in 100%, if you know your job 60-80% will suffice. the day is long, you work with idiots, pace yourself.
7, you are working for money for you/and your family not the company. if it doesn't look 110% safe do not do it.
8, if you see a better job elsewhere leave and take that job.
it took me getting fucked over a few times before i really started to follow this mantra.
@Dirk Knight oh dude, 23 years ago i would have completely agreed with you. i was a happy little do it all for years until i kept getting screwed over and stepped on. when my old buddy retired he owned his own house clear, some apartments and moved to a place on the beach. i now work the same way he did and i'm about on track to do something similar when i retire. so if the rules i follow above is wrong that's fine with me.
When I was in the navy some black shipmate once told me “man you got to learn how to play the game”. I was German immigrant kid used to German straight forward, bluntly honest culture. I didn’t even know what he meant by that. Now I know. I recommend anyone to read Green’s 48 Laws of Power. I wish I would’ve read it in my 20s.
@Off Road Guy always less than the Japanese, always a bit more than Americans.
I think it’s a balance but there’s a way to navigate it and still maintain your integrity. I saw Tom Cruise on an interview years ago and they asked “what do you do when you’re acting but really tired?”....he said “I play the character tired.” I think finding the balance is something like that.
I NEEDED THIS! This is such an applicable concept in the military. In my almost 5th year of 6 on my current enlistment and I have had this struggle the entire time. I was reclassed from USAF special warfare after failing a land nav six months in (smh) into a career field I just despise every day. Going from such a high-speed atmosphere with men and a team that thrived and wanted to be there and put the fuck out daily, then to be put into regular complacent big blue Air Force, it takes its toll on me. With being around so many inept "leaders" and colleagues I work with on top of being in a job I don't enjoy it has been difficult setting my ego aside and putting on that mask of "I'm happy to be here and ready do this work attitude."
However, Jocko is right, when you don't put that facade on, you get shunned and have targets put on your back. Late by one minute? Paperwork. Messed up on a job? Paperwork. It backfires on you, and I know this personally. I will try to finish out this last year of my contract playing the game and moving on with my life. I'm learning. Thanks, Jocko.
Is it true that theres incompetent leaders in the military?
@@theexplorer7139 Oh, 1000%! I mean, think about it - not everyone is cut out to be a leader. In the military, you take a test (at least in the enlisted tier) that will determine if you're ready for the next rank. So you may have a fast burner 23-year old that tested out and put on staff sergeant, and now he/she is a "leader." Not saying that age is correlated to faulty leadership. But to say since a person passed a test and now you're in charge of a handful of troops underneath you is ridiculous. In the Air Force, at least, there needs to be mandatory leadership reading lists and seminars with people like Jocko because a lot of these non-commissioned officers and officers don't have a clue about leadership and having it so that people respect you and want to follow you.
The Explorer Bad leadership is more prevalent in the military than the private sector and it’s not even close. The military doesn’t have to turn a profit or be efficient in any way, all it has to do is look good. This all changes during times of actual no shit war, but unfortunately a lot of good men die weeding out the bad leaders in the process. Primarily good leadership in the military exists a year or so into a war, and depending on its scale and duration, can last for a few decades. Keep in mind our last actual war ended in the early 70s, and even then politics prevented a lot of the good leaders of that era from advancing.
I experienced the same thing in the Air Force. You are right about being targeted if you don’t play the game. If you just show up and do your job and don’t play the game, they think you are not a team player that doesn’t want to conform to the culture and then they will force you out by starting a paper trail on petty offenses. This happens in the civilian world too.
Us real dudes have to deal with this out whole careers.
@@jamesmeezy3114 Thanks, James. Yeah, sadly, I have to leave. I start about three months of terminal in August. I'll always wonder if I could have liked the Air Force had I been put in a career field I enjoyed and not a Dirtboy.... But I am sure the civilian world is no different. The benefit is that I can quit and not have to stay there for six damn years, haha. Cheers to the future.
What you are really saying is "work the system established, until you're in a position to effect the system." Thats exactly what you did in OCS. There are many outfits out there that intentionally foster a work environment that prioritizes honest interaction, and therefore require less "playing the game." I think people have to take inventory of the level of working the system their principles will allow in the given environment. You are correct that most work environments don't ask you to compromise integrity, but they may ask you to elevate above your natural levels of politeness, courtesy, butt kissing, etc.
This is so true. I've lost to peers that figured out how to play the game. Not any more though, atleast as of today.
@Aries Handsome "The Game" in my context is learning to keep a cool head and my eyes fixed on the price (promotion) and not taking it personal when my employer is being a prick. Learning to play The Game for me is more of a lesson in long-suffering and keeping my eyes on the price. It's all about being strategic in the workplace, that is the game.
The effort these peers take to sabotage you, is wasted energy that should have been expended in self productivity and improvement.
But never forget: solidarity is a muscular skill; you must develop it with time put-in.
Great advice: the only person you hurt, if you don't play the game, is yourself. Put your pride aside, but stay true to your principles. And always be professional!
Struggled with this a lot my whole professional career and honestly it’s why I’ve never been promoted to Sr. Management, thanks for the insight guys.
Now we know what happened the last time his wife made chicken 😂
Cheers guys I been struggling with a coworker and having trouble moving forward but though I been watching my ego and support the team I do need to check my personal emotions! Time to recalibrate and push on.
When I started working in the school with kids I didn't have the right level of excitement and passion, I was a dud. I learned through observing the best teachers how to bring that level of fun, excitement and passion. Kids feed off that energy. So when you start teaching them something new, you need to bring it so they're excited to learn it. It's a win win for everyone. I had to learn how to loosen up, not be so serious and just have some fun.
Be without fear in the face of your enemies. Speak the truth, always, even if it leads to your death. Safeguard the helpless and do no wrong.
As a young Soldier I hated the promotion process. I can memorize all kinds of information and look sharp in a uniform and the senior NCOs say I'm good to put on the next rank. Yet no one asks if I'm good at my MOS Job Tasks. I didn't want to participate in that bunk process. It took me a long time to learn this lesson. You are spot on playing the game to cause now 15 years later, I'm the master at it.
Ask the question to yourself, “is this the game I need to play to win?”. You are just going into areas that aren’t most comfortable, it just allows other areas of your personality to come out. Jocko is Spot On.
Contriving a personality that isn't yours for others isn't coming out of your shell so to speak it's being something you're not for others, which is worse.
@@lowsi3153 "Contriving a personality that isn't yours". Damn, that was very well said. It's like, Yea it's you because you are contriving this character but it's basically acting. You are acting as a character that you are not. If that is not you in real life then you are not showing another aspect of your personality. You are just acting as someone else. Sometimes I do think this can still help you become a better professional and help you learn to keep your emotions out when needed but this can become exhausting and depressing. I feel it's like code-switching.
Apprenticeships can put you to the test. By the time you are expected to graduate they expect you to put up. Argue with a foreman and an engineer because your life and someone else's is on the line. Electricity can kill if you make a mistake. I really had no idea how intense it could get until my fifth year. I needed a career shift. Lots of us listened to Jocko at the time to try and push ourselves without falling to stress.
Fuck yes i needed to hear this....thank you so much! You are the best, man. 'Playing the game' totally applies to me right now. I just started a new job, the lady who hired me boosted me up big time by seeing the potential i have and seeing me as an asset to the company, something that really has never happened before, so thia is a huge confidence booster and game changer for me. Now that I'm working with this large team I've been wondering how to play the game. It's union, never belonged to one before, heard today that people are moving their 'pieces' into position and trying to plan on taking somebody out. Ya, it's a game, there's politics and seniority. She wants me to move to managerial position soon, but I'm just been wondering how to "act". My ego was getting to me today, I need to stay humble and learn from the masters that have been there forever. Management wants to have my 'work drive', that's what's been lacking for them. Anyways, I'm over analyzing now. Play the game. Put ego in check. Check. Keep reading Extreme Ownership.
The saying "Fake it Till you make it" got me attempting things I was always afraid to try because I know I won't do it right, such as being confident. I faked being confident until I slowly realized what it really meant to be confident from within. "Faking" has a negative connotation but I like to think of it as "imagining". Youre imagining that you are capable, and suddenly things that you thought were incapable of seem easy and possible.
Playing the game at work is why you don’t see the most trustworthy, courageous, honest people get promoted. Too many people buying into that shit philosophy. I saw it in the Navy, so I’m confused here. On your evaluations its gotten to the point where you’re EXPECTED to stretch the truth, be misleading and even deceitful. Politicians run the world, and they are trying to turn us into them. Damn near every workplace is like this. The snake rises to the top. We’ve sat by and allowed this to happen by “playing the game”.
Ive seen it too man. Shitty people rise to the top and make things terrible for everyone. Psychopaths would do great for this “game” terrible advice tbh
So be a snake
Robert Greene's Law of Power #1 Never outshine the master.
Even if you are not trying, you can outshine the master just by being you. Most bosses are insecure which draws them to the title due to their insecurity and seeking validation. They are threatened by competent and well liked individuals within the organization. Those people are never promoted, I see it all the time in the federal government. Playing the game is not outshining your boss, mute the side of you that is likely to draw their attention and awaken their insecurity.
I like think of it as an alter ego, a mask one must wear. I use the analogy of Bruce Wayne and the Batman. The Batman is truly himself even though he wears a mask. The person wearing the "mask" is Wayne, which he does so to keep up the appearance, or may I say play the game, which allows Batman to operate in the shadows.
Yeah..I was Army...I get it now...I'm me, however I am learning not to compromise my Consciousness
The snake is winning is because good people aren’t playing the game. They’re sitting on their hands pondering if they’re being super real 100% of the time.
Welcome to Life: The game where everything's made up and the points don't matter
the points do matter or no one would play it
@@muzzy2316 The points matter as much as your steam achievements or likes on social media. They are confidence models. checkmarks to be checked on a never ending list. Do they have any real value? The game goes on with or without you. There is no point to this game because there is no end or victory conditions. You just play the game until you die. Then you lose all your points and some other sap starts playing again.
PT Barnum said it best.
Greatness
@@1x93cm K anti-genius.
Damn, it went over people's heads that this is from the intro for Whose Line Is It Anyway lmaoo
I just discovered this channel by accident, and the content is amazing!
ruclips.net/video/ljqra3BcqWM/видео.html this video should serve as a good intro to Jocko
One doesn't come across Jocko by accident ... I'm sure Echo read your comment and was like , Good Evening !
Read the books GET SOME
that's always the best when the algorithm recommends gems
This has been my biggest struggle for me in the last years. Jocko explained this so well. Thanks Jocko!
People don't understand what Jocko means. He's truly wise. He's simply saying that you play the game so you can be a bigger force of change when the time comes. You stick to your principles for people following you. But you play the game upwards, fake it a little. You enact your principles for the people below you. Sure it may be "hypocritical" but its about the results.
Sometimes you can't be the change you want to see if you're not even in the position for change.
Yea I know what you mean Jocko.
Before she died my mother expressed concerns about raising kids too honest for this world ;)
She was targeting that aspect of social life, where fake people have it easier than honest people.
I see your point Jocko. Just as much as I see my mother's point. But I emphasis one thing : the journey is more important than the destination.
You want a position in a company? How you get there, will determine how you will act once there.
As you said, humans are not robots. Our actions shape our thinking process. So, to anyone, I'd just say, think about who you want to be, and act like that already. That's it.
THE ROAD LESS TRAVELED by Dr. Peck...Children need to know this ASAP...May help with heartaches and pains trying to Fit In etc...
Play the game. Very cool you responded Jocko & made this video for all of us. Good question Firefighter. Be safe out there. I work on powerlines so we're out there together Brother.
I'm Quality Engineer (in Brazil) and this video and the other one to how to behave with a moron boss helped me a lot
Hope you get to the next level, keep us updated.
Take care.
Also always wanted to visit Brazil.
"Playing the game" is in many ways dishonest, and it's definitely a compromise in personal integrity. The real art is _not_ playing along to get along, and succeeding anyway. One doesn't _have to_ play the game, one choses to play. And usually that choice is simply because it's the path of least resistance ... it's easier. If a person sticks to his own principals, doesn't play along, but does it respectfully, stays professional and considerate, he'll be more respected because everybody wishes they could be that strong too. Don't play the game, stick to your own path.
ICBMCatcher
As a retired fireman, I’ve been through this, what they’re trying to do is get him to accept a tactic known as “buying in” to whatever the current upper management propaganda is at the time. The fire department is no longer what it used to be. There was a camaraderie and a brotherhood when I first joined, and now it’s just like any other corporate entity. And if you don’t “buy in” to whatever the “flavor of the time” is, you WILL pay the price. So he has two choices:
1) give in and “act the part” or
2) not give in, forgo the promotion, and do the best he can at the level he’s currently at.
But if he picks #2, he best be prepared for some blowback and hope the union is ready to back him up, because he’ll have to pay a price for being an independent thinker. I chose #2, and that’s a rough road to travel.
It’s a sad state of affairs and says a lot about the societies we find ourselves having to live in.
Our state of mind is the most precious commodity.
Playing the game while keeping ones own integrity is tough, especially when you feel surrounded by those that have none.
One wonders if it is the current establishments that set by example and the laws/policies they introduce or if human kind is going through a period of d/evolution.
ICBMCatcher Agreed 100%! I’ve lived my entire life that way and have done well.
Absolutely! Of course we must not be naïve especially in our world today, where honesty and integrity are becoming rare qualities.
@@LookDeeper i think is both of system and also like you mentioned we are going backwards!
I don't believe in being fake, but I do believe in following orders. Either do what you're told or get out. It must be exceptional circumstances to be right to refuse to play the game you're paid to play.
Tact is something of a different issue. Don't just tell whatever truth that first comes into your mind: say the true thing that's actually useful, taking everything into account. Just saying what you think is bad communication, you have to start from where they're at, in a way they can hear. Don't lie, but do actually communicate.
I figured this out year 7 of being in the military. Pro-tip: Figure this shit out FAST or your climb up the ladder will be a long one.
Yep!! That's GREAT ADVICE!! ESPECIALLY FOR CHILDREN!!
A thought: the fire department ask you to "roleplay" in order to make sure that you can lead with passion no matter the circumstance. No matter how small the task, a team leader of the firefighters must behave as if life and death was on the line, because when you are out fighting a fire it is life and death. We are what we repeatedly do, thus one must strive for excellence in all one does to not faulter when one is needed the most.
Play the game, coming from a military man. Expected. I disagree whole heartedly. Boys you will NEVER be happy working under someone else. Gather skills, create your own business and be your own boss it’s the only way. Acquire Skills, Lift Heavy Weight, Struggle. If you must work for the man to gain the original capitol then so be it.
Leaf Oakenshield exactly. I responded to someone else by telling them YOU chose to work for a company so you need to get along and play by their rules to stay employed and excel.
If you don’t want to play the game, go and be your own boss. You can’t be a badass rebel, collect a check AND keep the job.
Just be careful that you don't go from victim to victimizer.
@Wo Long random shit.
Play the game temporarily to learn how to run shit well and then start your own company. True happiness when you own your own life and are your own boss. Kinda like the difference between being an adult and being a child.
This is so true, unbelievable how applicable this is to life in general.
I see a lot of people in the comments that don't understand what's being said here. Controlling your emotions, choosing you words carefully, and influencing others through empathy is not deceit, it's maturity.
"It's dryer than a piece of cardboard in the Sahara desert" 🤣🤣🤣🤣
I found the point about playing the game being benevolent really interesting. If you play the game and your leadership will help lead the troops the right way, it's good for everybody. This point makes "playing the game" easier to stomach.
"Submit, do you hear? You're strong! You survive!" - The Last of the Mohicans
You play the game long enough and fake it long enough. You become fake eventually. Fake it till you make it? Fake being fake till you make it? Make what? Oh yeah, fake being fake, until you become fake. Doesn't sound like a winning formula to me...
Ever wonder how fake people become fake? We all enter this world fairly inn[cent as children. Then "the game" slowly sucks away your soul. Just my two cents.
Afrofunda100 agreed
I disagree. You only become fake if you lose sight of yourself and what's important to you. Some jobs might be soul crushing, but thats why you find another job.
The mind is whatever it decides to make itself.
Be honest. Choose your words well. Don't fake it.
Jocko is so wise and explains things so well, his words have taught me a lot.
You don’t need to play games, you need to play,
“I’m gonna be professional at work.”
That’s it. Games are for two faced ppl.
The Reelist facts!
I'm the same at work as I am on the street. I don't change my persona just for money. Never have, never will.
No that's not how that work you can be professional all you want but it doesn't help when you're working with a bunch of morons that's when you have yo be fake so you won't blow up on anyone
From my experience telling the wife the chicken is dry is an honest evaluation and she can't hope to correct the problem if everyone just lies to her about how dry or not the chicken really is.
One doesn't need to be a jerk about it but maybe sitting down and doing some research and trying new things will result in having a more delicious meal and her having the feeling of accomplishment and overcoming challenge. Just my 2C worth. Love the videos Jocko, Thank you for your service.
Jesus, I hate playing the game. I suck at masking my emotions. I don't scream or yell or curse but my face shows what I'm feeling.
"I need you to come in on your day off."
"Okay."
"You're making a face, you don't want to work?"
So many of those conversations with my boss.
that is not the game you are having difficulty being assertive. and with assertiveness. you can still play the game
You need to let him know "you will be more motivated to work on your days off, for increased pay of around 2-5$/hour. otherwise it is not worth it for you. "
watch his face change. and do not budge unless you get what you want.
remember YOU can always say NO!
Jocko, I really never "heard" you till today. been at my job 15 years and hit the wall...
Thank you so much,
SFMF!!
Michael
Learn to beat the masterminds at their own game. We live in a superficial matrix to make monopoly money. What a great life we have.
If you choose to view all of this in such a nihilistic, immature light, then that’s on you. Good luck brother.
Was on the verge of quitting a dead end job with nothing to fall back on
This video fucking saved me.
My motto : I don't play games cause I'm all out of quarters . OOORAH
And bubble gum
I quit recess. I don't play.
@@seanpaul8584 calm down
@ AshtO When you can survive off the land ,money don't mean shit bubba .
@@hounddog2952 true
I learned years ago it's all about perception. If you are perceived as agreeable and a team player, you will advance. The guy that busts his ass all day, but doesn't go to the company parties, or laugh at the bosses jokes, will rarely advance.
It's all about the game, and how you play it.
Its all about control, and if you can take it.
All about your debt and if you can pay it.
Its all about pain and who's gonna make it
I am the game no way you can play me, I screw the bosses daughter and Vince has to pay me.
@@54356776 LOL! I can relate to that profile pic sometimes,..... anyway the point is, that was hilarious!
It's not being a fake person it's, like he said, growing and learning and making it work. Be genuine.
Thanks Jocko. Men need to play The Game all the time. Work or Home.
that joke about the wife was so good (especially his wife voice made it even funnier) I was listening to it while working out and had to stop in between... Jocko's humour is on point 😂 as are his teachings
This dude Echo Charles is muscles with a head attached man DAMN
Echo is skinny knees with a body attached
Parker Jeans Echo ordered the inflatable arms from sponge bob then because that boy is th-th-th-thick, word to schwaub
Steroids with blood attached
I appreciate this conversation. I'm a shift manager at a manufacturing plant and I'm constantly developing new leaders. I get this "I'm not gonna act fake" crap all the time. You've helped verify my thoughts and helped me to clearly articulate my response and rational. Who'd of thought youd become a professional life coach. Keep it up teach!
I'm trying to substitute my personal subconscious mind with Jocko and Goggins voices/mindset.
Agreed!
Great idea Paws and well said!
That will just make you more rigid
@@aaronwilliams589 Sometimes rigidity is important.
This is dope. I always had military type mindset since I was young. As a result, I never felt like I belonged anywhere. I might add that I grew up in the church and was transformed to being a more agreeable person which made me very unhappy. Over the years I came to realize that the military mindset is actually good and can help me move forward in my own way. Jocko really helped shine a light on this. Also, faking it by doing things that make you uncomfortable you can be a better version of yourself to lead others and make more money for your family is good, but lying or adding false flattery to get something you want just for yourself is selfish and wrong. Always think about the team not just yourself and you will get way ahead in life
this video should be titled "when keeping it fake goes right"
I know right .
Right .
The best part about this video is rewatching it after reading about playing the game in the brand new leadership strategy and tactics. It gives it a little more depth and shows how serious and honest jocks is here, him saying almost the same thing he has in his book and reinforcing that concept
Glad the comments here are calling bullshit on “playing the game,” its a slippery slope.
False you're ego is too fragile to grow
Not only learning life lessons, but also vocabulary! Jocko's vocabulary is something to achieve too.
I can tell immediately this is going to change my life for the better. Thanks Jocko
It's not that ppl have to "fake it", they just have to figure out how to do it in THEIR OWN authentically expressed way. That's important.... their boss' way might not feel right to them, but they can figure out how to do it passionately in their own way.
If you live in a world created by lies, you'll become a liar.
if you're weak minded, yes.
JoseitoEdlVodao Satan rules this Realm.
Honest is the best policy unless you're dealing with Liars..
I love this conversation. This is such a problem for some people as to whether going along with some behaviors is pure fakery or actually just the fairest, most humble way to go about things.
Your relationship with your coworkers can be more important than the job itself sometimes. I wouldnt "suck up" to anyone and be fake, but just try to be professional and tolerant of unfavorable personalities. If you are quiet and offputting to people, how well you do your job may not matter. Just depends on the job. If its not a skilled job and the only way to stand out is to build a relationship with coworkers, then youd be an idiot to not do that.
New Sub. This question @ 0.35 has plagued me for 25 years I dont want to be fake. Integrity means everything. Hey Jocko, GOT IT.
The movie “Sorry to Bother You” comes to mind...
The key line of difference is when playing the game involves going agianst the principles of right and wrong. His example with billy is perfect! This video is brilliantly more important than alot of people give credit for.
When I saw this I remembered Robert Greene's 24th law of Power: Play the perfect courtier.
Oh, WOW! I researched it and freaking thank you VERY much!!! I'll be studying it as I think people are 99% hypocrites in a job setting, to save their behinds! Quite refreshing!
Oh man, you are right. I hate playing the game, but it's the way to get ahead.
Damn this game never ends... Myself as a former Marine been playing games for 10+ years now
that's cuz...too many dumb-dumbs. Still think education is the answer. It trains the thinking brain more that the bs, excuses, and more bs brain.
Tf I gotta smile about? This shit never ends - Goggins
It's called "EQ". It's called "mastery". It's called "teamwork."
It sucks sometimes but he nailed the mindset. Lean in, take control.
I wonder how this conversation would go with Jordan Peterson. Jordan promotes not falsifying your existence which, in part, is what Jocko is laying out.
I am of Mr.Peterson’s mindset. Maybe there’s a balance. Figuring that out might suit well.
Well....no one likes somebody who puts up a facade IN THE LONG RUN, people in HIGH positions of power are professionals at spotting fakeness, and will prefer an honest, asshole who works good enough (whose intentions are beneficial to the business) to a yes-man. So I'm on Peterson's side
@@dariankaltenbach8062 a good leader won't expect getting his ass kissed at all times, in fact he'd be VERY cautious of it. BUT....if it just so happens he's dealing with an overly submissive person, then either way that's not a person who you'd want moving up to a leadership position. A leader can't be submissive or a people pleaser.
Jordan actually agrees they’ve had the conversation on one of the podcasts Jordan guest started in
@@Grave264 Which one, where? What's Jordan's explanation?
So true. When I was in the mil I played the game to the letter and was rewarded handsomely for it even though there were people who had superior knowledge and/or work ethic. You either play the game or you lose. Plain and simple.
This is the first time Jocko has failed to compel me.... He sounds like he's trying to convince himself
If playing the game gets you a promotion and more income I’d say loyalty to your family should outweigh your own ego!!
@@jimmorrison2593 ego isn't the price you pay... It's your own authenticity. Better to find a new purpose.
Johnny Killjoy it all depends what your motivations and priorities are in life. A family man may decide the “game” is worth playing. To each his own. It’s all about your goals. With that being said I’m horrible at playing the game myself and do cherish my authenticity.
@@jimmorrison2593 I agree. Priorities and risk tolerance. But look at what Jocko did. He achieved both freedom and wealth
This is my first Jocko video. If you choose to be a part of a company, there are “requirements” to stay employed or excel. If you want to be your own man 100% then start your own company.
It’s not about being fake. Find a way to do what they want you to do since YOU chose to be employed by them. Silence is wise so don’t be fake; make an “appropriate but neutral” comment if needed. Participation is wise. Flipping their dumb requests into a wisdom moment for yourself is the key: AKA how to get along with others. As long as it’s legal and ethical, do it if you want this job.
I work at the parks in Disney World where being a fake person is literally part of the job. People say that it must be horrifying to be forced to smile and play the character day after day or get fired.
The truth is that it’s actually healthy. Forcing the smile chemically puts you in a good mood and the cast members who do the job right will have otherwise rude and frustrating customers warming up to them and referencing them in the online survey. Thus getting the manager’s attention and earning that raise/promotion.
My wife calls me the Bullshit Master because this is seemingly, in her eyes, what I do well in every work environment I've been in: playing the game. The way I've always seen it is we all wear different personas depending on where we go and what we do and who we interact with. As a teacher, I'm more outgoing and expressive. As a dad, I can go from silly to hard-ass when as the need arises. As a friend, I'm looser. You don't have to "fake" anything. You just got to wear the persona of the person who you know will get the job done.
People don’t follow robots... powerful. Just sent this to my son, it’s pretty cool this helped me too! A bonding for us👍🏼
Not true, people follow Elon Musky nuts all the time.
The Air Force as a whole.
Amen. The whole thing is about who you know and who likes you. Very seldom it's on your performance
Ummm actually its about testing. Eprs are basically easy
Lemurai so it hasn’t even started yet with the new system and some of you are already negative and making excuses.
Sounds like people preparing for failure to me.
*EXTREME*
*_OWNERSHIP_*
Chaotic Good im sure the air force has taken your opinions under advisement 👍
I totally agree with Jocko. Hell yes.
Playing the game doesn’t mean to lie & cheat your way through the system. Having compassion or being passionate in the work force is a required skill. & it’s a skill you probably need to develop.
But playing the game doesn’t mean you have to lie. Lying will get no one anywhere. Same as not playing the game.
Instead of complimenting Echo’s haircut (which you don’t like) find something you actually enjoy about Echo & compliment that.
If a customer has a dumb question or a boss has a stupid idea, dont lie and say it’s good just to play the game. Figure what you actually think is good about the idea. Then in both cases, help this person move forward & get better. That’s the game. Play the game, don’t be dishonest. Don’t lie. But play the game
To me, l hate that I spent "playing the game." The effort could have been used for something that could have been worthwhile.
Your lesson
Morale of this story is what matters is the motive, not the means with which you achieve it.