Pros & Cons to Having Kids Old Featuring
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- Опубликовано: 29 авг 2024
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Maya and I have another video on her channel about the fourth trimester!!
bit.ly/mayasha...
Maya's RUclips: / shamelessmaya
Max and Mayas Joint RUclips: / @maxmayaliving
Maya and I have a video on her channel all about the fourth trimester please go watch!!! bit.ly/mayashanmomchat
Will do👊🏾
💝WHEN RAYU SAYS "Hiiii!" 🥰😍🥰 My heart goes 'Kabooom!' 😄
Shan do you want any more children?
I had my first at 40! Pregnant at 39 married yet unplanned (gotcha!) and during covid. You all are killing it and inspiring in the process.
Wow thanks for this entire video but even more sharing your experience of what you went through after taking out your iud... Im going through that stage now and felt soo alone about it...
It’s interesting that mid to late 30s is considered old . That is so bizarre to me.
I had a baby at 19, 21, 24, 27, 30, 32 and 34. For me, pregnancy was sooooooo much easier at 19 than 34. But my births were easier and smoother the older and more wise I was about my body, birth, health, healing and making good choices for midwives. My mom didn't have me till I was 36, so to imagine I was her second child at 36 and I had 7 children by 36 is also crazy to think about!
Interesting... I believe in enjoying youth so I didn't even start settling down until I was almost 27 (plus there are birth risks in your teens and very early 20s though I understand why the actual pregnancy might appear or be easier) but you have a lovely family and obviously all are a blessing ❤️🌹❣️
*(Merry Christmas &)Season greetings🥰
Wow! That’s awesome! It’s hilarious how we use to see having children at 17+ as a scandal & yet it turns out to work out better for the woman that do it (as long as it’s consensual!)
Your mom did have you until your were 36 🤔 🤣
Do you think your mom's age when you were born was an incentive for you to start your family earlier?
@mazelee I've followed your family's YT channel since Baby #5... I love your growth as a mom and a woman over the years 🥰
It’s funny to watch this video since Shan and I were on an audio call not on video. Ryu had an outfit change on my channel 😍 Shan, you da best and here’s to ladies in their 30’s becoming first time moms doing the most!
It’s amazing seeing two people I’ve followed for years collab together 😍
Shameless I’m proud of you and 30’s is not “OLD” I wish people stop projecting that bull crap... biblical days women had children well after 30... if you take date of yourself well enough you can have babies in your 50’s like the beautiful Janet Jackson!!
Agreed!
On another note I can imagine having babies before now (41 with a now 9 month old). Lovely following your journey for years now @shamelessmya Nothing before it's time. Truthfully I had a lot to wrap my mind around with this one. I was planning to be like Janet myself😉.
I was wondering how you recorded with being in different countries and having such a good quality of footage & audio.
She is fake.
31 just had my first and I’m thankful bc the six figures, remote work, stable marriage and more patience definitely helps 🙌🏿😍
Thank you for this! I’m 39 and pregnant. I’ll be turning 40 just a few months after giving birth. This is my second pregnancy, but hopefully my first living child. Thank you again
❤️
Sending prayers that you have a safe delivery and happy and healthy baby and mama at the end 🙏🏾❤️
I’m 38 and pregnant . This is also my second pregnancy and hopefully also my first living child .
🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽
Bless you and your beautiful rainbow baby👶🏾
As a first time mom at 36, I wanted children in my 20s but it didn’t happen. God’s timing is perfect and I have a beautiful baby.
Something I feel is sorely missing from the fertility conversation, is the fact that sperm quality also decreases with age, so both parties affect fertility rate.
It does such a disservice when the fertility talk is always placed on the person with a womb, burdening them with a guilt or responsibility that should be shared. I'm so grateful that was mentioned in the video
OMG this really grinds my gears that the biological clock discussion is solely focused on women.
Exactly!
Yes sperm quality also goes down with age but not at the same rate as womem, and it's much simples issue to resolve. So I get why moat of the talk is placed on women.
@@justsaying8358 it’s not just fertility but the quality of the sperm as well that decreases significantly leading to more miscarriages and abnormal babies
You are so right ! It’s something I personally never considered since we hear how men can have a child at any age! Thank you for pointing this out.
I appreciate Maya for being transparent with her truth about being a new mama. Everyone makes it seem like it's the best thing ever, and she's like, "Nuh unh...it took a minute." Love her for it. Thank you Shan. I'm 40, I'm hoping...
You HAVE to watch Maya’s content on Shameless Maya channel and Max and Maya channel they share SO much truth like this. As always, Maya’s content is remarkable don’t miss out ruclips.net/user/MaxMayaLiving
@@shanboody Thank you. I've been following her since before she cut her hair. It's something to see someone's life transition into parenthood.
If people didn't equate it with love for the baby, then I think many more would feel ok to share the same she did. Not sure why saying parenting is tough no matter stage, is something negative, I would worry if someone showed signs of being careless with their child and acted as if they were doing fantastic. But I can't see how it would be bad for someone who is trying to meet their kid's needs, for them to say it is difficult and it took time for them to adjust and they still struggle even if they landed a bit more into their new life of being a parent. I also find it brings people closer when they can share in a safe space without judgement :) /Scandinavian
Just wanted to give you some more hope. Older mom here as well. Got pregnant at 38 had twins at 39🤦🏾♀️. They just hit 16 weeks so it’s been a crazy ride. Full disclosure my partner is also younger (32) good luck on your journey it is possible.
@@pixigirl999 Thank you 🤗. Congratulations on your beautiful babies.
Having my 1st child at 41. Been trying for years as soon as we stopped trying it happened. 8 weeks to go 💙. Must also add I broke several generational curses. My mom grandma's aunts etc were all teenage mothers.
Wishing you a safe delivery. Had my first child at 45. She is 9 weeks old today. We feel blessed.
@@sassyc3701 aww congrats and thank you 😊 💖
I got pregnant with my first at 35 after I accepted that I wouldn't have children. I lucky had my second at 39! Fertility is so unpredictable!
Im due around the same time as you! ❤️ Congratulations 😁 I too broke some of my families norms when starting my family. It's a great feeling! X
Older mom love love this thread 🫂💓🥰
My mom had my baby sister when she was 41, and her sister had her first child at 40. My mother was 23 when she had me and i will say the stability and security my little sister has compared to me (even though my mother was amazing and i never realized the struggles she was going through until i reached adult hood) makes waiting until later completely worth it imo.
I completely agree with this. The feeling of stability is something I always said was the only thing worth having my littles later. From my first at 22 to my 3rd at 31. My oldest I’m close to because he was there and recognized my hustle, but being able to devote the time to my third has been life changing l.
Same, same. Well I'm the baby and my mom had my brother at 21 in the Caribbean and my older sister and I at 38 & 40 respectively. I plan on waiting as long as my body will allow and I have no qualms about adopting/fostering whether I can carry babies or not.
I totally relate to this a lot, I’m 18 and I have a baby sister whose 1yr and my mom now is 40 and my baby sister definitely has a great quality of life. I’m super grateful for all that she gave me but I definitely agree having kids later is better
Facts.
I had a baby at 41 and the following month turned 42. I am 49 yrs old now and my husband is 52 yrs and we have a healthy son who is 7yrs now! I had healthy pregnancy had no issues and gained only 8lbs. He weighed 7.02ilbs and he is truly a blessing. He keeps us busy. It was all GOD plans because I didn't plan this.
I had my baby at 37, he is one now. I had a great pregnancy. I'm glad I waited.
I don't plan on having any kids in my 20s. I really don't think any woman should have kids before she enters her late 20s. The wait is everything. Good on you
I agree! Having a child in your 30s is great. People make it seem like its such a bad thing to wait when it really isn't. I had my son at 31 and I'm grateful I did because while it is a very rewarding job to raise a child it is also a really BIG responsibility that requires a great level a maturity, time and patience.
@@ImNotImpressed01 totally agree
Same here. 36 and 39. No issues
My mother had me in the 90s at the age of 40. Natural birth. No complications
I’m 26 been married almost 4 years and cannot imagine having a baby. Everyone thinks it’s weird for not wanting a baby at my age as if I’m old. 🤣. Honestly I have such a hard time grasping the concept of being a parent one day because I don’t want that kind of insane responsibility. I don’t care if other people have kids but it is annoying when people act like I’M the crazy one when I say I don’t. It’s definitely not for everyone and people need to realize that! But I would never hate on anyone for choosing to have kids or not. That’s their own personal decision!
I was 26 when I got pregnant with my first child (I’m 35 now and have 2 children) I love my children but I do sometimes think that I’m not good mothering material. It is so hard, it changes your mind, body and soul. I fully respect women that choose not to have children. Respect and love to you.
@@ceasarsalad2388 I’m sure you are a good mother if you are worried about being a good mom. Ones that aren’t good moms probably wouldn’t even question their parenting ability. Lol. Thanks for the advice, I have thought it through very thoroughly because I know it’s a huge change of life -literally forever. Best wishes to your journey ❤️
@@carebearboo4247 I tell myself that sometimes, thank you. All the best to you and your journey through life 💜
@@ceasarsalad2388
Only good moms would wonder if they’re good enough moms so you’re doing well mama.
💕🙏
@@ajohonly3721 I truly hope so! Thank you kindly 💕💕
Ryu really has Jared's WHOLE face. Lol. She’s so adorable!
"You don't have fillers in your face...that's really brave of you"
What the heck??
That is RUDE
I wish somebody would come to my house and say that to me. My come back would be "you don't have common sense in your brain...such a shame for you, goodbye". What the hell.
Would’ve shown them to the door immediately & let the door hit their ass on the way out!
Sooo rude. Because the both of them still look 25
Rude as hell…
“You have a lot of audacity to say that…with a face like that!”🤣
My mom had me at 35. In middle/high school I always said I wanted to have kids in my 20s so I wouldn’t be an older mom. Now at 23 a child is the last thing I want lol. I agree with what Maya said; I’d rather live my life freely & when I’m ready, settle down & be devoted to being a mom. And if kids don’t happen for me, I’m cool with that too
I thought that too. Now I am almost 47 and wish I could experience it.
I always pictured myself having children young like early twenties. And really, you’re a baby when you’re in your 20’s! I feel like this decade is to explore yourself and your place in this crazy world! I’m 27 now and literally not worried having any children in the foreseeable future! As much as I love and adore, and truly want babies, I throughly enjoy my life just as it is, right now!
My mother had me at 38 and now at 23 I wholeheartedly agree
@@jckfly Sadly getting pregnant isn’t an option for a lot of people. Especially the older you get. It’s definitely possible, of course, and I know of women in their early 40’s still having children. But generally I believe from 25 years of age it’s starting to go downhill for women 😂
I had my 3rd child at 43. He's healthy and blessed and we're a doing great!
the way our society is so focused and embarrassed and obsessive about age and youth, and always labeling all of us, is something i’m personally trying to accept and grow past and away from.
Yep it's actually exhausting and toxic at this point. Who are they to try to determine when things should happen. Not everyone is willing to settle for less than their best. And why are we not discussing that the way we take care of ourselves play into the health and intelligence of our children?.. just some thoughts haha
@@victoriousneish429 What do you mean less than their best? I just want to make sure I understand!
@@Wildchile in other words many are pressured to hurry up instead of becoming mothers in their ideal circumstances.. I've seen this happen time after time.
@@victoriousneish429 agreed!
You get an subscribe from me.
I’m 43 with a 1 y/o and a 4 y/o. I enjoyed this video so much. My pro is financial security. Had I had children in my younger years I would have been a stressed out wreck as I wasn’t financially stable. My con is only that I have to work twice as hard to build and maintain my stamina to keep up with these little ones BUT it benefits me, my body, and my mind. Thanks for posting
I love the fact that RUclips reccomend shows this video to me. I am 37 and just started dating someone seriously enough that I actually think I want to have children. Not ready yet, but maybe when I’m 40. It’s so great to read these comments that are so inspiring and encouraging.
So inspiring! I’m 23 and worried about when’s the right time to have children and I’m putting pressure on myself to be married and have kids in the next few years but seeing how women can have babies later on in life and be happy makes me think I can chill out and get my career going and not worry! I can also save up and be financially better for when they come and it gives me more time to find a good partner who wants the same things I do and has the same values and morals we can reach out children! So happy to be seeing this!
’m that 35 year old with a 10 and 12 year old and it’s pretty great. Of course my twenties were solely about parenting, but being the age I’m at now is also a cool time to start reclaiming my autonomy and freedom because it’s aligning with my children beginning to do the same. The truth is, you miss out on something no matter what you do...it’s all a tradeoff....there’s no perfect choice.
💯
Perfectly said 👌🏾
I’m in my early 20’s and don’t want kids till my mid to late 30’s 🤷🏽♀️. I couldn’t even imagine having a kid in my 20’s… I feel the same as Maya, if it happens it happens.
Same.
Enjoy your 20s hun! I didn't think about actually having a child until my late 20s like 27 and my partner and I did everything that we needed to do before we made that final decision. I'll be 30 in march and very close to my due date. Take your time and enjoy your 20s.
Same. Another huge aspect for me is that I was forced to take care of my younger siblings for my entire childhood. It sounds like hell to raise kids until I’m 18, go to college for 4 years, and then become an actual parent a few years later. Now that I think about it, I don’t know if I’ll ever even have children. I wouldn’t want to resent them.
Maya and Shannon make it look so good
I was a young mom at 18....by 23 I had two kids. I loved being a mom .... universe always gave me everything I needed....it was like my kids brought me blessings! Now I'm a 39 year old grandma to a two year old little queen.
Grammama that’s amazing 👌
That's awesome!! Congratulations
Had my baby at 30 years old this year. 8 months in and still wondering how people have multiple children . It blows my mind they go through this extreme exhaustion over and over again lmao
Lmao 🤣 same. It's the most exhausting and loving experience ever. I'm constantly thinking about everything
@Kinya Abdulhamid-Melvin I’m not putting people with multiples down. I’m saying , I as a person, can’t fathom it feeling how I do currently. This also isn’t to say that I would never be a mother to multiples, since I’m still on my first child lol please relax I wasn’t trying to trigger anyone
@@money1137 I'm feeling the same, I had my son last year and I'm now 33yo.
I'm so done with 1 child period 😂 idc, I don't like being pregnant at all! 😩
And I had preeclampsia so that's pretty traumatic for me
Had my 2nd in 2020 10 years later. From my 1st. Was thinking have one is so much easier.
I have 4 kids all boys had my first at 25 and my last at 38 and to me it was never a big deal I'm more of a go with the flow kind of person and I don't care what people think, life is to short for that. I have found that a lot of women put way to much pressure on them selves to be 100% to everyone all the time well guess what you can't do that. You are only one person so someone is going to have to lose out on your 100% and that person should never be your kid, husband/partner or yourself.
I was 35 when I had my first child. My money was really good. Granted I’m a little tired when dealing with my 5 year old however I have a lot more maturity and wisdom when talking to my child about things. Likely my next child if I get pregnant again I will likely be 42 or 43.
This gives me hope. 🙏
I’m 28 and after reading your comment, it is great to hear your experience.
Ahh, y'all not old, stop saying that repeatedly! Both of you look amazing and kick ass at what you do. 30s are the perfect age. :)
Biologically fertility does decline after age 35- we have to be willing to be honest with ourselves so we can make fully informed decisions.
I don’t know how the body changes in your 30s, mid 30s, 40s, so I can’t speak to that.
But I think it’s important to be honest. I think they know they are not old old.
@@artisticagi Yep, good point.
They technically had “geriatric pregnancies” (real medical term for 35+)
@@artisticagi for me the difference of a few years in pregnancy felt different on my body, you will feel it!
@@alishamcg yeah? How does it feel specifically?
Black girl from Sweden here. I feel like I’m watching my two older sisters become mothers. Been watching both of you for yeeears, since I was maybe fourteen, and you have been my true role models. THANK YOU❤️🥺
This is soooooo random, but how is life in Sweden as a black woman?
Teen and early 20s mom here and the
Pros- My body snapped right back after each child, I had lots of energy to keep up and stay up with my kids since I was young, I’m done “raising” my kids as of 41 and can relax in my later years, I was the cool young hip mom that my kids weren’t embarrassed to be around (well, my son!), I knew all the hip phrases and trends to keep up with my kids. Cons-I was a baby raising babies so my mistakes were more than it would have been in my 30s and 40s, I FINANCIALLY STRUGGLED, I didn’t get to go to college, I didn’t get to turn up and enjoy life like my friends did in my late teens and 20s, I lost a lot of friends and support because no one was willing to help with my kids since my friend were young themselves , I wasn’t taken seriously at times as a parent by insiders and outsiders because I was so young and most importantly, I don’t know who I am outside of being a parent because I never got a chance to learn who I am or what I can be since I’ve been a mom over half my life.
Girl 35 isn't old you are at the peak...I had my baby at 40
35 isn’t old but the fertility issues start at age 35 usually. But most women still manage to give birth after age 35.
Enough CANNOT be said about having a village! It doesn't make it easy but it definitely makes a difference when raising a kid and how it impacts your mental health. Having support vs not having support really changes the game
Shameless Maya does not age. Holy moly!
Yeah she looks similar from 2011 … but at the same time you can see she’s a older woman by how she carries herself .
I literally haven't seen her in years since her earlier YT days and she really looks dang near the same!
Black don’t crack + Asian don’t raisin 🤌🏾
❤️ I love this video. I had my son at 36 and my daughter at 38. I am so glad I did a lot prior to having kids because it is such a sacrifice. I wish I did more however I am excited to share the things I love with my children…especially travel.
You lived your life and now you’re enjoying 🤩🤩🤩 wish you the best. P.s your best yet to come
My mom had my brother at 36 and me at 38 she had my little sister at 41. We’re all grown now and she’s still around and healthy and the best mother ever.
@@bbydoll1222 the pros of having kids older. Your kids will be younger when you are too old to look after yourself so they have more ability to take care of you.
@@ye23. you don’t have kids to look after you. Smh. That mindset needs to be cut
@@joeroot9142 yes I agree however many ppl have kids simply for that reason. I myself dont plan to have any but I know a friend whose father has cancer and she was desperate to have children so she has ppl to look after her when shes old. She just had a baby recently
I wanted kids when I was in my 20s and quickly changed my mind in my 30s after working as a children's therapist for 8 years. Children are beautiful, but they're alot of work.
LOVE, LOVE, LOVE you and Maya's candor! As a mom that had a baby at 23, 35 and 43....I have experienced the gambit of motherhood. I'd love to share my journey. Keep, Keeping it real to all the mommas!
As someone who’s 28 and planning on waiting at least 5 more years - this was very great 🤎 thank you! 🙏🏾
33 still a good age
This makes me so happy. I’m 32 and just coming around the idea of having a kid. So hearing this is everything
Same here 😃
I'm 39 and had my son at 32. All my close friends had their kids early (between 16 - 23). Being exposed to their struggles made me want to wait because it's hard enough "just having the kid". Adding the other drama and life struggles made it even more undesirable to have a kid. I'm glad I waited and I recommend it to every young woman I come across.
Honestly I wish I heard more of Maya’s story about pregnancy and stuff. Her ideas about career and being a mom.
Head over to her and Max’s channel 😀
She seemed to have a nice comforting birth experience.
She has two channels. Her own and one with her partner so you can watch those videos 😁
I’m 37 and my husband is 45. We are trying but still no luck! All I can do is put it in Gods hands
Has your husband had his sperm tested?
My mom had me at age 21, was a single mom and sacrificed so much. The upside is that we are very close I have had decades of life with her and she is still relatively a young mom (57) and I am in my mid 30’s. I will say she really instilled in me to wait to have kids until my late 30’s/40’s. When I graduated from law school at 24, I told myself I wasn’t going to have kids in my 20’s. I am starting that journey now and getting my health/ body ready. If it happens it happens…. I will say there is nothing “old” about the both of you - you are mature mothers and know who you are and have truly lived your lives unapologetically. BTW- I also heard that having younger male partners heightens your chances. Thanks for this content. I have been a fan of Maya’s since she lived in NYC and a fan of Shannon’s since she her single days in her Canadian apartment. ❤️
THEEE collab I was waiting since I got pregnant at the same time Maya got pregnant. I subscribed to your channel and maya channel a long time I got, and it feels like we are in this journey together
Gonna send this to my mom. Lol I'm 27, African, and raised in the South so feeling that pressure. I wouldn't regret my life if I didn't birth kids. If I choose to parent, fostering or adoption is what I feel called to do.
African moms are a different bred lool relate!
I had a baby at 24, and another at 30--very different experiences for various reasons. I'd consider having one in my late 30s as well (five year gaps are awesome). I feel like the number one thing I've learned despite my age is I need to handle my trauma and not let that interfere with my parenting. I've learned my children are independent of me, and I need to raise them as such. But operating from logic and not fear is my goal. It's super hard. It requires a lot of self reflection, and honestly I may have never faced my childhood trauma had it not been for my kids. I'd forgotten so much, but when I'd become really angry or frustrated with them I had to dig deep and analyze if my response was logical or if it was a trauma response.
Shan, I've been binge watching your videos today! Maya you are so awesome. Thank you two for sharing your experiences.
Or maybe just operating from love because love is the opposite of fear.
Logic tends to be quite linear & black/white.
I’m 22 and when I tell my family the earliest I want to have a baby is 27 (and I may not even want one at that age when I get there) they tell me that’s old. I love seeing you and Maya have children in your 30s because that’s when you were ready and no when others told you to be ready. Taking care of another human is a huge responsibility and I would rather take care of me first so when I eventually have one I won’t feel feel like I missed out on anything. The possible complications that can happen are worth the risk to me. And if I can’t have my own adoption is a thing.
Yeah my grandma literally told me that at 26 I mind as well have had a hysterectomy because I was to old to have kids. Now I am 29 going on 30 expecting our first little bundle of joy. In her eyes I guess I was supposed to have kids as soon as I graduated highschool. I enjoyed all of my 20s and I don't regret not a single second of it.
@@Ducky190 awww congrats!! I am so happy you didn’t listen to her. I hope you and baby are safe and that you have a very safe birth!! This made my night💖
I am about to turn 28 and I am nowhere near ready to have a baby, lol 😆
When Ryu said “hi” my mouth literally dropped, i just wasn’t expecting her to actually follow Shan and say it! I cant believe this baby that was JUST in Shans tummy said a whole word. It feels like shes still an infant meanwhile shes out here saying words and doing backflips lmfao
As a child of an older parent (37 at birth), I can say the pros far outweigh the cons. Myself and many others I've met just tend to be "old souls" from a very young age. More calm, more grounded, more sure of ourselves. And a lot of that has to do with the benefit of having a parent that has ALREADY done most of their maturing. The kid and parent aren't growing up together, and so the parent can more readily take their child and lead them. However, make sure your retirement is in order, because the one drawback is relatively young people in their 20s and 30s, such as myself, that have the looming financial responsibility of an aging parent while we're still trying to get our own lives stable.
Isn't that nice Shan? You don't even need fillers. What a compliment.💕
Nobody needs fillers
*I straddled the poverty line all through my 20s , why would I bring a mini me along for the ride? I’m in my 30s n it’s much better not only financially but, psychologically I would’ve been a terrible mom bc I did not have an ounce of patience in my early 20s. My mom had my 10lb, 23inch self at 40 n I’m not the youngest.*
God bless to all the older mama’s! My mom (May she Rest In power) had me at 38. People will always offer unsolicited advice, motherhood doesn’t come with a manual. Be gentle with yourselves.
This is refreshing because I’m 23 and I feel somewhat pressured to have my shit together and to have a baby at 26. Literally almost everyone I know has a baby and I feel like I’m missing out on. It’s nice to know it’s okay
Shan: “we’re gonna be talking about your ass”
Ryu: 🤨 *reaches to destroy the mic and avoid the betrayal*
I am 30 years old and I always knew I didn’t want kids in my 20s I want to start trying at 35… I always worry if I am doing the right thing.,, thank you for this video
Totally feel like the 3rd musketeer here 😂 also firstly, I’ve followed you BOTH for over a decade. So I feel like we’ve already grown together. But I just had my first baby girl at 38, pregnant at 37 - also with a younger man 😂 I shared some of the same ideals about children- not putting pressure on myself to have kids, and being confident that I’ll have them when the time is right . Even at times when I think I maybe could’ve had a child sooner I remind myself that it wouldn’t have been HER. You know? I’m so proud of you both and agree with sooo much of what was said in this video. Except the old part. We not old.😅😅😅
I've had a baby at 16.... my second at 25 & one at 35... I would love to have another one soon before 40.....🤞🏽
My thing when you have kids young people why you're so young your just a kid... in your 20's they say you got your whole life ahead travel the world...in your 30's oh you waited too long you're considered high risk... there's never a right time.... do what you feel is best for you & your family.... they made me feel so much better about having another one or 2....
I love hearing baby Saga in the background crying... the realness of it all!!! Great job ladies. Y'all are killing it.
Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU for the disclaimer telling young women that we cannot wait forever! My fertility battle began at 31 yet, when I was 33, after YEARS of not getting pregnant, when I told people I wanted to try all they said was WAIT! Enjoy your youth! You have SO MUCH TIME!
I asked some of them if they would pay for my IVF if their advice turned out to be wrong. If it turned out I was never able to have my own biological children, would they give me theirs? Would they come to my house so I could cry on their shoulders when menopause closed that door for good?
It's funny to hear a woman in her mid-thirties call herself old 😄 I get it, though! Every decade I look back and smile at how my perspective has changed. Everything is relative, right!? Old mommies, Young mommies, ALL mommies 💪💐
My mom had both me and my sister after 35 and we're now both perfectly healthy in our 20s
I lived a fullfilling decade in my 20s. Traveled, partied, enjoyed life, did what I wanted when I wanted. Now at mid 30s im open to having children and im glad I lived a great life on my own before deciding to start a family.
This hits home. I'm older, dating younger and ttc. I have received the stigma for not having kids earlier, however, I don't regret my decision. I'm much more mentally, physically, and financially prepared than in my youth.
This is really perfect timing, I was just thinking of this because I turn 26 in 2 days. I wanted to start in my early 30s but realistically i don’t think ill be done enjoying living solely for myself 24/7. I feel like in my mid 30s would be better after Im done with my accomplishments and I’ll have had years to enjoy the fruits of my labor with little responsibility. I sometimes have this picture in my head of being an old ass mom in kindergarten but then i log on to social media and see people like you & Mya who I’ve been watching since high school. It brings me back to reality and helps me remember that 30s-40s is not old I’m just spending too much time on TikTok 😂
I am a first time pregnant mom at 35 will be 36 when I give birth. I always wanted to be a mom so my son is such a blessing to me!!! He came as a surprise but so wanted!! I really enjoyed this video, Thank you both for an honest open conversation that I really needed to hear this!!
My mom had me at 23 and was a single mom and then had my brothers at 37 after being married for a little bit. There are struggles and blessings in every situation.
Such a refreshing video to watch which could not have came at a better timing! Boyfriend broke up with me because he realized how important having kids in the next couple of years was for him. We're both 25, but he would be willing to have kids in 1-2 years whereas I am taking my time and don't see myself settling down until I'm 29 or 30. I have 3 nieces and 2 nephews under 10, and so I understand first hand the reality of parenthood. I'm not in a hurry because although kids are a blessing it's a lot of work and it requires lots of sacrifices. When I see my sister living with resentment because of her life choices, or mothers who aren't even fully present in their child's life because they're trying to still live their best life makes me want to take my sweeet time. The time will come , but in order for me to be a good mother I know I need to enjoy life first, have a stable career etc. I feel like being a mother requires to be mentally ready more than anything else, and I still have work to do to get there.
30 is 5 years away!
I was 38 and my husband was 39 when our daughter and only child was born. It wasn't our choice, but took time to finally get pregnant. I just turned 59 and my husband will be 60 this month. our daughter will be 21 in Feb. We had been married for at least 13 years before she was born, so looking back I thank God our plans of getting pregnant when we thought we wanted to didn't pan out.
13 is the number of promise in the Bible
My mom didn't have me - her first child - until she was 34, and she had my youngest sibling at 41. Over 35 has never seemed like an old age to have a child to me. 😅
I had my first son at 34 and I had ivf. I think that it’s a real gamble to wait, and any time after going to college university (22 onwards) should be fine. Waiting as long as I did means you may discover fertility issues that are too far gone to fix so you end up having ivf. I’m lucky I had the means and support to do ivf however not everyone especially in the USA can afford ivf or other fertility treatments . So if you know for sure I would still say do not wait. I’m not shading mothers who are in their 30s but I wanted to balance out the argument for waiting until you are 30 and above.
That's why it's important to have gynaecological check ups annually as a woman in your twenties. U can wait to have babies if u choose but don't wait to start having check ups. The sooner the better.
31 w/ a 6 month old!! Aaand It’s lit over here! CONSTANTLY grateful for stepping into motherhood when I already did the work to solidify my identity as a woman with Grace and space for who I would become…fancy way for saying, younger me knew she was unprepared…bb came at the right time 🥰✨
The "Hi Dad" in the last 5secs of the vid... MY HEART HAS NOW MELTED
Omg the skin dryness I experienced on and off throughout pregnancies and most partum we're crazzzzzy!!! Shea butter all the way!
I love Maya, she is so transparent, unfeigned, and uncontrived...standing in her truth (and Max too, for that matter...so relatable. She has such a relatable spirit. Bless her and her little family.
I was thinking the same thing!
I am SO glad that my husband "pressured me" to hurry and have our second child at 35! 😂 I had our first at 27 (Prego 2 months after our wedding). My 35 year old body was completely different and it was a much tougher pregnancy and the second natural water birth was not nearly as soothing at 35!!
Thanks for sharing this. I had my son young and I can’t imagine giving birth now in my 30’s. For me personally it would be too hard on my body.
Thank you so much for this video🙏🏾. I'm 37 and in a new relationship and the outside pressure to have a child is REAL
I had my son at 36 which was 2.5 years after getting married. This timeframe was planned as well, because my husband and I wanted to spend time just being newly weds and living/traveling together before having a baby. I loved doing it this way because I spent my 20's having fun, living my life and building my career; so once I decided to settle down and start a family, I didn't feel like I missed anything. At 55, I am in the best shape of my life, my career is amazing, my marriage is awesome, and my son is 20, in college and living his best life and so are we. Being stable and able to mentally and financially provide of my child was so important to me. Looking back, the person I was in my 20's would have been a totally different mom...not better or worse...just different. I wouldn't change a thing!
Yes Maya!!! I was definitely at that point "this life is trash, I have no freedom" lol....but it does better as they get older.
My mom had me at 40, and I love her to death. Compared to my siblings, who are 10 and 14 years older than me, I got to enjoy things they didn’t due to the financial stability my parents had acquired by then (better school, vacations, etc). But, at the same time, I always had trouble relating to my parents and vice versa because of the massive age difference. It also makes me sad that I will have 10 years less with them in life. But hey, there’s no use being upset about it so I enjoy every moment I can with them ❤️
I hope your mom parents live 10 years more than others. Blessings and long life. Peace be with you.
@@charity7773 thank you ❤️🙏🏼 I wish the same for your family 😊
Firstly you dont know if they will outlive you or not so you cant just say you’ll have 10 years less with them. Second, nobody relates to parents regardless of age. Theyre your parents not your friends
@@ye23. I meant ten years less than my siblings. And I happen to disagree, but to each their own. 😊
You will keep them young.
Love this. I’m going to be 38 next month and I always wondered if I should have tried sooner but at the same time I know I wouldn’t have been ready for those sacrifices. Hoping to start that journey next year.
First of all yaw are NOT old!
Just waited the perfect time for you to start a new chapter of your life to have a life. We are far more than our age & any pressure out there. Go with the flow & it will all unfold 😌
I love being an older mom. I have a centered happy life and my son is thriving. I wouldn’t change the timing of my pregnancy and delivery ( pregnant at 37, gave birth at 38). Now more motivated to get fit, healthy and continue down this path of growth for my son and I! 🙏
Shan I cannot even begin to validate your sentiments about wanting to be that ambassador for older mom’s! You have ABSOLUTELY been that for me. Although not a mother yet, I’m about to turn 30 and am unexpectedly single after a 9 year relationship. So I am very much on the path of likely being an older mother when/if the time comes. And you give me sooo much comfort and confidence about that reality. So I just want to say thank you!!
i love the honesty in this conversation
This is everything I needed today! Love you both, so great combo, and as a 35 year old without kids, this topic runs through my mind almost daily. Thank you for sharing your thoughts!
I’m 23 with twin 6 year old girls and a almost 2 year old son & it’s definitely better to have waited then to have had it young . I can relate to your feelings & it’s very hard to be a parent at whatever age .
Good luck for you,, stay blessed 🙏🙏
Yes
I am 36, single and this will be me. I know I will be 40+ when I have my first child. At first, I was worried and sad, but now I'm completely okay with this. The women in my family have been constantly reminding me that I'm getting older and "my eggs are turning to dust"....literally. I feel more my own person. I am more confident and secure in the decisions I make than I was when I was in my 20s. Hell If I don't a partner by my 40s, I'll just do it all by myself lol
And if conceiving doesn’t work out, there’s Are so many kids in our foster system who could really use a mother!! There’s more kids than homes so there’s always adoption…
Same but we will get pregnant, keep yourself healthy, take your vitamins and regular doctor visits.
@@CMM726 not everyone wants to adopt. it's human nature to want to carry and care for your own seed otherwise we would have a significantly decreased population. adoptngg from foster care is not for most people which is why most people dont do iit. most of the kids come with siblings and trauma/mental health issues and personality disorders. not everyone can put up with this. thee older the kid the more issues they come with and not everyone can deal with that
While I appreciate this convo, can we not use the word “old” and instead say older or more mature?
The fillers comment was rude. I wouldn't make it in LA.
This convo is amaziiiiiiiiing omg… and I relate to maya so much, seriously enjoyed being a mama in its fullest and now with baby #2 on the way I’m feeling more like being a SnapBack queen this time around! Every pregnancy is different
Thank you both for having this conversation! I understand the age playing a part of conception but I do feel like the focus should be shifted less on age and more about how to take better care of yourself as a woman before conception whether you choose to have a baby are not. For me, once I become a mother at 27 (pregnant at 26) The lack of care taken towards myself definitely showed up postpartum. Also its hella unfortunate that as women, once you get into a serious relationship the next topic is kids. I met my partner at 22yrs old and started getting questions about having a baby at only 25yrs old. I’m now a mom of a 1yr old at 28 and even though she’s the light of my world, there’s still this selfish part of myself that feels I didn’t spend enough time nurturing my own self. Granted she still comes first no matter what, but I can’t help but to wonder what my life would be like had I had my child at 30+ (my ideal age to have a child). Either way even though these thoughts pop up I wouldn’t change a thing, it made me the woman I am and love.
I related so much to this video. Had my first at 35, the first few months were insane adjusting. But my son is 2 now and it’s amazing. I love being an older mom and it inspires me to stay fit so I can hopefully see his kiddos!
❤❤❤ this and I'm only 2 mins in. This is becoming more realistic in today's time for a lot of women.
This was good. I just turned 32 last week and I want kids. So I've definitely had my concerns
I love Ryu’s cameo at the end. ☺️ I appreciate the conversation. I turn 30 in 2022 and it just dawned on me that if I have biological children it will likely be in my mid to late 30s.
I agree
I got married at 20. I have my one and only child at 21. Now that I'm approaching my 40s. I have no need to have anymore kids. Things cost more now than 16yrs ago.
I have a 15 year Old and I'm 32 . We're litteraly best friends - been through so much together.
Whew . I’m a teenager now and I can’t imagine having a child now.
@@Fatima-kp8hi It was definitely something I didn't expect. Unfortunately had no guidance or parents that could teach me about xxx. The person I was with for five years was actually an adult when we met . I was 14 he was 23... huge mistake I didn't know i was walking into and my parents didn't gaf.
Then boom 2 years later .
Trust me when I say that we had to have a lot of hard talks about my choices even though some of it was caused by not having guidance I still have to take responsibility for how it may or may not have made my son feel.
I'm definitely give my teenager the best advice I possibly can ! The experience makes me a better mom .
@@Fatima-kp8hi I do not recommend btw lmao
@@EmoeccentricShawty Your son is lucky to have you ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
@@EmoeccentricShawty I will definitely take your advice thank you so much 😊!!! I’m 18 now and adulthood is hitting me hard so your advice is very appreciated!
It’s all about Gods timing. I didn’t want to have a baby until my late 20s and yet I gave birth to my baby boy at 26. Cannot imagine life without him now and wouldn’t change it for the world 💙
I'm 33 and pregnant with my second child. I will be 34 by the time he's born. I had my first child at 27. My husband is 12 years older than me. I never thought about age being a negative factor in getting pregnant. I think society hypes things up too much and pressures women to have kids early. Yes, there are biological factors but there are so many women having healthy babies in their 40's. Living your life and following your dreams are so important. If it is meant to have kids, they will come if not biologically then adoption. Great video. Older moms unite!
Yessss! This gives me so much hope 🙏🏼
Yassss 🙌🏽
Thank y'all sooooo much for this! I'm 32, married, and don't want to have kids just yet. I love to hear the true perspectives of older moms!
Thank you for this! First of all Shan and Maya! Love you both and have been watching you both for years. Second, I am 32, divorced and no kids and I have been putting so much pressure on myself to have kids and this was so helpful. I love when Maya said it doesn’t matter if I have kids because I’m living a beautiful life anyways. Thank you so much for this!
Im 37 & while a part of me wishes I had a child younger, Im happy for the experiences I was able to have child free. We’ve done a good bit of globetrotting and it was/is great. Ive been married 5yrs & started trying last yr. Still not pregnant. I definitely think about being an “old mom” but on a personal & financial level, I am in a much better place to (hopefully) care for/love a child. My mom had us young & although she did the absolute best she could, I’m certain if she was older, it would have been even better. My husband is 4yrs younger 🙌🏽 Great video. Thanks for sharing.
This is so refreshing, just had my by two months ago, had my baby a day before my 39 birthday, is hard but is worth it, struggled for 19 years to have him. Is a big change and maya is right at first it was like what in the world!!! But as time goes by is getting easier, just glad I am not the only one feeling like this and is some what normal.
Yes this is a great conversation, thank you for being so open and transparent with such an intimate chapter of your lives!!! Maya mentioned lifestyle factors and that is so important. Humans have these genetic markers called telomeres that tell our biological age so one can be a physical age but their genes can dictate something different. This is why wellness is important as one can use lifestyle to potentially reverse effects of aging!!
My mom had 5 children before she was my age. I’m in my early 40’s and having a child doesn’t seem to be in my future and I have accepted it. I just love being their for my friends who are having children in their mid thirties and over. It’s a blessing just the same.