The truth about how I feel since having a baby
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- Опубликовано: 11 сен 2024
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“It makes me very aware that I can’t afford to fail.”Whew! Felt that. Thanks for your vulnerability.
This might sound weird but this video made me happier. Seeing the strong, beautiful, successful woman I’ve looked up to for years being so vulnerable made me feel like I’m not alone in my struggles. I appreciate your honesty and openness so much! I will forever support you and your family cause what all of you have brought to my life is priceless ❤️
"I love my child; I don't love being a mother. " The day I said that out aloud was freeing. I don't particularly feel mum guilt but I do feel suffocating sometimes. I want my own time more and more.
I feel that so much I miss my self before caring for others.
I wasn’t wholly cared for as a kid, so now as a mother, I have a hard time figuring out how to care for others. Becoming nurturing has been a (painful) journey for me. As my kids get older (they are 7 and 9 now), I find myself moving from just loving them to actually liking them, more and more. But, yeah, it didn’t come naturally at all.
I felt this at my core. Like I don't want my son out of my life I just don't want the responsibility. That's one of the reasons I had postpartum depression.
@@DomQ.0 🖤
WOW. I respect that! I'm not a mother, but I sometimes feel like a lot of women don't tell the truth.
Thank you for being so honest about the realities of having a baby. People talk about it in such a flowery way, but there are real concerns and difficulties that go with it.
Who? I haven’t met these people.
@@acd1168 can you meet people across the planet, around the world? you’d be surprised how many people are struggling with parenthood!
@@Nah-ah I am not surprised. What I am surprised by is OP said some people talk about it in a flowery way and I haven’t met these people
You wanting your mom is not selfish, that was like the realest moment in the video for me. Sometimes you just need your mom. Wishing you the best going forward with therapy!
Yes lol I call it "calling in the big guns" moms just have a way of knowing and being everything you need sometimes and giving comfort like no other. When everything is going wrong no one knows what's best for you or how to help you like your mom. Everyone has has a moment where you have to acknowledge that you need her again
@@lexilion16 Amen. Nothing is the world compares to the comfort of mom
Can we just talk about how PPA, Post Partum Anxiety, isn't acknowledged as much as PPD? It's just such a real and debilitating thing to go through. 2 kids in.. 9 years later and I'm still dealing with it.
Thank for this Shannon. I will be signing up for Better Help.
It's never too late for therapy! Nothing to be embarrassed about. You made the best decision ever, we are proud of you. 💜 Thank you for spreading awareness on how important this is!
I completely understand. Im seeking therapy for myself. I became a new mom Dec 2020 to a premature baby and I recently lost my mom April 2021. Stay strong. We'll all get through this. 😊
Sorry to hear this mama! Peace and blessings love.
@@taneshareedkinard8144 Thank you. Same to you.
I can’t imagine how heavy it is to carry these realities so close together . Thank you for sharing and wow you are so strong and resilient
@@shanboody Thank you. Im trying to be. On top of everything else, im going through a break up after 10 years. I've come to realize this is apart of my journey and to accept the new shift in my life. Thank you for putting yourself out there unapologetically and showing that there's no limits to self love including seeking therapy. It helps more people than you know.😊
I didn’t realize it until it was over, but I had real depressive symptoms as my babies slowly weaned onto solid foods. Turns out that _I_ was weaning from the oxytocin rush that accompanies nursing for a lot of women, and it had real consequences for my mental health. So, in addition to the overall soul-crushing changes that come with motherhood, in general, consider the chemical changes happening with your biology, too. Also, your dream is spot-on I think. My kids are now 7 & 9, and they are WAY easier for me to mother, and I finally really, really enjoy mothering them. It’s a joy now, and it was hard as hell even 2 short years ago. You’ve got this - hang in there 🖤
I didn't know there was a come down from decrease in oxytocin when babies wean off?!!! Good to know
@@crackasscrackle For me it definitely did. I know that for other women, breastfeeding can cause physical aversion, giving them nausea or a skin crawling feeling. In that case, stopping breastfeeding can be the best choice ever for mom. Every woman is different - but I had never heard of breastfeeding “withdrawal” before it happened to me, and I’m sure it’s part of the momming rollercoaster for a lot of women.
@@maymayrays You are definitely correct!! I had DMER when i was breastfeeding and it was mind blowing how physiological responses affected me psychologically. I felt repulsed and i had this "dark cloud" over me when I nursed & pumped; then as soon as i stopped i would feel normal again... it was insane!!! Breastfeeding IS HARD but to suffer mentally and emotionally while my child depended on me was overwhelming. I had to get help!!
@@icycici I’m so glad you did!! My mother-in-law had this, and one of my close friends, and it sounds like a damn nightmare 😞 I can’t imagine having this barrier to feeding my child on top of all the other challenges you face as a new mom. I hope it worked out for you and your babe 🖤
@@maymayrays Thank you and it did work out!! Having to confess it as problem was the hard part, plus there's hardly any info out there about breastfeeding pathology!!!
I bawled my eyes out the whole time you were talking. I’ve never really heard anyone put into words how i felt that well. Thank you for that
Yes!!!! I was just talking to my mom about this and luckily she understands
YES YES YES! I too am a first time parent with an 8 month old (almost 9 month) baby and I've been so afraid to voice these feelings out loud to even my partner. There is so much sacrifice and so much of yourself to give when you become a parent! And it feels so selfish to think "what about me?" I know I'm not a bad mom, but damn it feels that way sometimes.
I have a 1 year old and this is exactly hoe I feel! Anxiety has hit so much. And that's exactly how I feel when I take 5 mins for myself 😔 sigh being a mom is rough
Is tough. Just know that I and many other moms feel the same way. I feel so much shame after admitting that 😣. I have a 1 year old and I keep saying he will grow fast and I think I will love that stage better in his life and also would give me more space as well. I love my baby so much tho
As a therapist myself , I have worked in social service for at this point, half of my life. I am an advocate for therapy. Modern life has soooo many pitfalls and pressures. Also, I don't want children and I have needed therapy to grapple with the implication of that too. There are implications to those who choose to have children and those who choose not to have children.
Why did you need therapy?
@ash do you have children?
@@kelebeksky I needed therapy to grapple with the fact that as the only child, and the fact that I've lost both my parents, that once I pass on, there would be no legacy for me or anyone to carry on my family name. The thought of that was scary to me and I had to wrestle with that. I have since realized that my legacy can be a number of things, not just leaving the world with humans to carry forth.
@@demyoutubers LOL Yes, I definitely appreciate my level of freedom and I don't feel any pressure to cook or do anything I don't want to do. I am happy with my decision but there are those fleeting times when I wonder...
Sending you much love 💘 ❤ I am in a similar situation too
So many things perfectly said. I’ve always said I don’t regret my kids FOR A SECOND, but if I lived a second life I wouldn’t make the choice to have kids again. For no other reason than my mental health. It’s all day, every day worry, anxiety, guilt. Am I doing enough, am I raising them in a way that will encourage goodness and kindness, will they grow up and struggle with the same anxiety I struggle with…. It’s a massive toll on my body and mind that I fight every day to keep them from seeing/feeling.
Girl, I FEEL YOU!! I have a two-month-old and sometimes I just pitch up out of my sleep and look at him in my bassinet. It's a lot to deal with as a new mom and on top of that, we have no family to help us. Hopefully, my mom can come to visit to help us when the borders open.
After I had my 1st baby, I felt exactly the same.
I felt like I went into shock. I just thought to myself, "Omg... I have this tiny human that needs to go with me everywhere." I couldn't just hop in the car and "go" anymore.
It took me months to come to terms with it.
Now, I've just had my 2nd child and I haven't had any Postpartum Depression/Baby Blues.
I hope that talking with someone helps you Shan! I didn't have anyone to talk to and definitely didn't have the financial means to do so professionally at the time. So, if you have that opportunity, don't pass it up! 🥰
Everyone needs therapy. 🗣📣 PERIODT!!!
THANK YOU for saying "mourning the loss of my single and free self" 🙌🏽 I felt so alone in that thought, as though I wasn't allowed to think it. If I say that out loud people just look at me funny whenever I am being honest and mention this, and I can tell that they're thinking that what I am saying is that I don't want the life I currently have, but that is not the case.
Oh Shan … I soooo feel you! I called for my mom sooo many times. So much so, she retired early and came and moved into my home! She left my step dad for over a year and would go visit him every few months for about 3-4 weeks then come back to live with us. After the 2nd year, we remodeled our unfinished basement into a beautiful apartment for my mom AND step dad, to live in. My kids are now 7 and 9 - I don’t know what id do without her.
This video feels so relatable even though I dont know what its like to be a mother. You articulate your thoughts and emotions in such a decisive manner and I really emphasize with your situation. Sending blessings for your therapeutic journey🙏❤️
Where were you when I first had my babies?!?? Ughhhh all of what you’re saying is resonating with me, hard. Putting these ideas out into the world is really, really important. Thank you 🙏🏼 🖤
Its weird you feel less than on social media. Because i feel when ppl would go on your page they would feel less than because you’ve accomplished so much and have so many blessings. Wow. The grass is never greener
I needed this today! Your pregnancy announcement a year ago was what made me think to take a test. Now to see you are also struggling postpartum, it feels so full circle.
Just watching this video increased my emotional intelligence and self-awareness by 64%. Thank you Shan for opening a conversation many/all new moms should be having.
This transparency is so refreshing. Idk how this works but I feel seen through you.
I’m no one’s mother yet but having had worked as a preschool/daycare teacher (for ages 0-5) and being an Aunt to 3 nephews, that fear and fight or flight thing really sticks with you!
As a mental health therapist and new mom of a 9 month old, I feel so seen in you sharing this experience! My son is maybe 3 weeks molder than Ryu so as I’ve followed you through this journey we’re both on, your content has been exceptionally helpful to me. THANK YOU!
Shan this video is the best symbiotic relationship with a sponsor that I've ever seen. It's genuine. I love how transparent you are about your life, the ups, the downs, the peaks and valleys. It's inspiring to see what you guys are doing as a family.
As a new mom to a 9 month old, this video is soooooo relatable. I was fortunate enough to have to my mom with me from the delivery of my child and everyday after for the first couple months. Once my husband went back to work (overnights in the emergency room) and I was left alone with this infant I realized there is quite literally not enough time in the day, but I’m determined to figure out just how to make time for myself each and everyday because my life cannot only consist of me being a mother
Just curious, Shan, if you talked to your primary care physician first. Sometimes "feelings" are a result of fluctuating or imbalanced hormone or brain chemical levels. Even when levels of things like B12 are off, the results can play havoc with your mood, emotional resilience, etc. Nothing against therapy, but wondering if it's not a bad idea to look for simpler causes first. Good luck with your counseling in any event.
She just had a baby so I'm sure she still has some unbalanced hormones and I think it's great she chose to seek out therapy cuz they are equipped to deal with everything she is now going through
Therapy is awesome for new moms! It's a time when there are so many new identity issues, relationship changes,, stressors, and routines that don't necessarily include all the self care necessary. Therapy can help with practical coping skills and addressing the more existential side. Physiological sources are always worth checking, but therapy for new parents is really a great idea (hell even leading up to birth).
This is good advice. I thought I had depression but it turned out I had severe dehydration instead
Very well said Mike! Thank you!!
Thank you for expressing how you feel, it unlocks some of hurt I've suppressed and it gives me something to think about in regards to my life
As a single mother, with still a mother to help me your testimony show me how bold, brave and blessed I am. But also how neglected, desesparate and constantly fighting I can be. So I will search my Therapy, because I interprete this video as a message from the Uni-verse to myself. Even if all that can give me the hell out of me, I can be proud and continue improving. I admire the freedom that you have and the generosity that you bring. Thank you from Guadeloupe
I understand you 100% and deeply feel that I will experience the same feeling when becoming a mom. As a only child who always did whatever she wanted and left home at 18 I knew nothing but complete freedom and also, selfishness. Love you 🌞
This is me
The part where you said "it makes me so aware that i can't fail" I FELT THAT SO DEEPLY 😭😭 I am in the same situation. I have no back up. I am the back up.
Thank you for being so open and honest. I love when you do such videos. ❤️
I am a huge advocate for therapy! Therapy saved my life. My therapist helped me find my way. The tools I’ve learned to manage my PTSD work for me. They are specific to me and that’s huge. We are all different. What works for me may not work for you. Therapy should help you find what works for you. I’m grateful that I finally made the decision to get the help I so desperately needed. There is nothing to be embarrassed or ashamed about. Therapy is personal and there is need to explain why you choosing to address your mental and emotional health issues. Sending you luv and immediate healing ❤️🙏🏾
In my experience it doesn’t go away my stress caused by fear for my child is still something I have to manage daily, my daughters now 10
Had a breakdown myself yesterday and I needed this so bad. Thank you for being so vulnerable with us. Will continue to support you thru your all your phases of life! Love you Shan 💖
It’s okay to focus on you, Your baby and your Husband Right now. That’s not selfish. And it’s all new. You’re projecting your guilt into all areas. You and your sister know that you’re taking a risk and if it doesn’t work, you can deal with it later. But right now, focus on what you need to get through the early stages of motherhood. I am still not back to normal with the pandemic stuff and most people I know aren’t either. So take the pressure off. That’s gonna take another couple of years for everyone at least!
So true! I keep reminding people that we just went through multiple life changing events and so many things are still in flux. We have to be gentle with ourselves and keep an eye on our healing. 🧡💗🧡
This type of open and honest content is the reason why I started following you years ago! Glad you are taking the necessary steps to be self-full
It’s like everything you described about motherhood is exactly how I feel but could not articulate. Thanks for sharing
Watching this at 37 weeks pregnant & I’m already resonating with what you’re saying.
As humans we often make the mistake of deceiving ourselves into thinking that our lives are falling apart while other people seem to have it all together! I used to look at you with such admiration (the ME that I will probably never be) and hearing your struggles has left me feeling so comforted in knowing that it’s normal to feel so empty all of the time. I’m a mom and wife too and I became a mom very young, then later got married in my mid 20s. I never knew what being selfishly me was, and I have been dying a slow painful death. Now that I have gone back to therapy and realized just how much I have neglected myself, I am at an awkward place where I don’t even know where to begin reconnecting with myself.
I have tried, but I always default back to doing things that aren’t about me. It’s like an addiction of sorts, I want to quit but I don’t know how to.
This was incredibly powerful. Parents often focus on the positive only, perhaps thinking anything 'negative' is shameful.
I'll always admire you Shan for your candidness on this channel.
I hope things get better for you soon! 💛
I resonated with your words so much. I am nearly 5 months postpartum and trying to overcome postpartum anxiety. I also take large ownership of earning income for my household with my own business. Being present in creating content and being present as a mother is a tough split. Therapy, meditation, and medication have served me well within the last 4 weeks but damn, it's a trip. Thanks so much for sharing, Shan. When I first saw your updates about birth and navigating the infant stage it appeared that you bounced back so effortlessly. You were back to work so quickly! This video was raw and real and reminded me that sometimes we gotta take a step back and evaluate how we want to grow.
Thank you Shan. You’ve made me feel like I’m not alone. Though I know I’m not the only one experiencing these feelings, the pressure of being judged makes many of us who feel this way keep silent. So, thank you.
Been here 3 times. You're doing more than you could ever know by sharing your vulnerability. Thank you.
Thank you Shan, I’ve been watching you since I was 20/21 and now I’m 25. Your videos are always on time and super necessary. Just what I needed :)
Loved the way you organized your thoughts throughout this video! I was so engaged by the way you reflected on your difficult circumstances. I would love if you could further explain your quarterly list. It seems like a really interesting way to digest your surroundings and take action. I would really enjoy a video of you breaking down that process.
This is probably one of my favorite videos of yours. Very helpful and insightful. Thank you 😊
I cried right along with you, Shan. Although not yet a mother, I can relate so much to being in an unwelcomed season of self-sacrifice for your family and the ones you love. It’s comforting knowing we’re not alone on this journey and I appreciate you for sharing your story so candidly, as always.
I feel you too boo. I completely understand what you're going through. It will be okay 😉
Yes Shan I feel you on so much of this!! I’m a mother of a 1 year old and motherhood is such a tough job. You’re amazing and thanks for sharing with us. Enjoy therapy 😊
I love this chat. I have never heard of “self-fullness” prior to this video and where it lies on the selfish-self sacrificing spectrum. I intend to do some more research on this topic.
That is awesome!!! Hope you have an awesome session. Sometimes we are so busy being busy we miss our own needs.
The part where you mentioned calling in your mom to help definitely merits extra stars, confetti and highlighting because there are so many people out there missing out on engaging there support system. I was glad to hear you mention it and hope people took notes.
Again...your transparency ❤️💕, it's appreciated Shan.
I've been in therapy from 2009-2019 (recently went back because 2020 existed) and it's one of the best decisions I've ever made. Going to therapy is for YOU and only you. Worst case scenario is you'll cry your eyes out...but feel an unnecessary burden has been lifted off of you. You'll be fine. We're rooting for you!!
Shan, I appreciate so much your vulnerability in the past few months. Thank you. I could feel your voice shaking or breaking, or just being different than usual - and that's OKAY. You don't have to be super Shan, not even here, at your job. Congratulations on starting therapy!
Shan, thank you for continuing to show your humanity to us. It’s so beautiful and relatable. Thank you for being vulnerable and allowing us to see ourselves through you. Thank you for saying the scary things.
"I don't know what to talk about with a therapist" As a therapist myself, I love when I have clients who don't have an agenda or don't know what to say, because often I can get a more honest feel for them and go deeper. What's behind not having anything to say? Does that bother you to not have something to talk about? Where does that come from? It's great work that can be done from there!
Moms(including you Shan) are amazing! So happy you were able to admit you needed the help and your mom was able to come down to help and support
You articulated Motherhood perfectly, it’s that fight or flight feeling we constantly have, along with the Mom guilt and shame. You mentioned fearing several things in your video, bring that up in therapy so that you can escape it and not operate out of fear. Love and Blessings sent your way! 😘❤️
Hey Shan, I’ve followed and loved you for years. This is the first time that I’ve felt incredibly connected to you. I don’t live near my family, I work 60+hrs a week, I have 2 kids. One is almost 11 months and with both ice had pretty bad Post partum anxiety. This second time was so much worse but I think it’s in part because of the circumstances that we’ve had to live with during the last year. Many times I’ve cried for my mother so that moment I felt to my core. PPA gets better my friend, I’m not sure if it will ever fully disappear for me but definitely better.
Sounds like a maddening rough patch. Hope that your counseling is extremely helpful and I hope one day you can turn this crazy part of your life into some kind of literature just to really put it all down in one place and share with the world.
i love that i feel like i’m your personal therapist, your mind is a beautiful place thank you for sharing with us. all of your fears and thoughts are incredibly valid. you are going to stun your therapist with your eloquent way of explaining your feelings and thoughts. hope your appointment goes well:)
Shan I’ve followed you for a long time. It has been amazing seen you grow and evolve. You are truly a role model for me. While now you are facing your own struggles you continue to be an inspiration to others with your Realness! Than you.
I am a very introspective person, however, your level of introspection is one I aspire to. Thank you for sharing! Ruminating thoughts are hard and exhausting. Please know that you are doing great! I am a big fan of you 💕
I had my first child at 23. I was working full time and being a new wife and mother was so overwhelming. I thank god my daughter turned out ok because I was a wreck as a young mom. It’s gets easier it’s more children, you relax a little more but the pressure never goes away.
I don't think I've ever commented, but I'm a long time viewer (maybe 4 years now). And this video is probably the first time I''ve felt connected to you in any real sense. I'm not even close to your stage of life (I'm a 25 y/o writer who's broke, consistently drunk and queer af). But the sentiment of this video really hit home. I hope this following time, whether its months or years feels fulfilling and sparks a fire in you. But whatever happens, I'm glad you put out this video, if only for the selfish reason of making me feel like I'm less alone in being afraid. Keep up the good work and since I'm not religious I'll have my religious mother pray for you and your family! 🙏🏾
If your role was 360 to the way it was before then you are right back where you started.
This was a very raw, very open video. I cried a little when you said you begged your Mom to come. You exude so much strength, and sometimes for those of us that are used to having it all together, it's EXTREMELY difficult to ask for help. Thank you for your transparency Shan. This really resonated with me, and it helps because I'm learning to express my feelings more. I used to bottle things up that bothered me, and I've been seeing the benefit of giving words to my feelings. Therapy was also a game changer for me. Sending you love and light!
I've always appreciated your vulnerability. Everything isn't picture perfect. Yes, you can be grateful for all the things you have in your life but still be honest about the struggles and emotions that accompany all of the things we have and existing areas of our lives. This was as much therapeutic to me as it genuinely appears to be for you. We are in this together. #teamshanboody
I’m so glad you made this video Shan, because I was wondering today how you must be feeling as a new mom and being so busy. You’re one of the people that inspire me and show me that I can do great things. As much as it’s not nice to hear about your struggles, it makes you more human and somehow even more inspiring because you’re doing all of this in spite of that. I have no doubt that you’ll achieve your goals and make a success of all your ventures. If at first you don’t succeed, you can always try try again, so don’t fear making mistakes because you can always learn from them and do better. I’m rooting for you, you’re doing great ❤️
Just wanted to offer you a bit of solidarity with the comparison/social media thing. I struggle so much with that as well. Thank you for sharing the Maya Angelou quote!! I'm going to try to keep it in mind. Sending so much love your way, and I hope things get better for you. 💕
This video resonated with me so much! I felt every word! I love that you’re so honest! I’m sure every new mom has felt or feels this was just as i do right now. Thanks Shan for the vulnerability and honesty! Literally love your whole soul!
Thank you for always being so honest. Appreciate your candidness, always.
thank you for sharing. so much of what you expressed you feel, have to care about or go through sounds awful💔sounds even harder than i thought..
Cheering you on in your journey to be the self-full woman you desire to be!
Thank you for being open and sharing what’s been going on with you. Not only is your content interesting and refreshing, it’s relatable and who doesn’t want that in their social media feed everyday?! I’m glad you’re seeking therapy and that you’re working through the transitions in your life with the same honesty and grace that you always do.
I’m on the opposite side of the age range, oldest at 31, so it’s expected of me to take care of everything and I still am struggling to deal with the fact that I can’t. That pressure is HEAVY to be the one relied on and feeling like you can’t make a mistake or not just yours but everyone else’s life will crumble afterward. It’s a lot.
It’s going to become more manageable, like you said. We gotta just keep believing that. You’re doing great, your content is great, seeing what you’re building is beautiful. I can only speak for myself - I’m here to stay. 💗💖
♥️ Sending lots of love and strength. You got this! ✨
Shan, thank you for continuing to be You!
That fear will keep you sharp and always on point. Just so long as it's pushing you forward, while having the ability to support your family the way you love to pulling you forward. Blessings to you and your family
WOWWWWWW.. Thank you. Thank you for sharing this, for being honest and open and addressing the constant wave/tightness being a MOTHER. I completely understand all of your feelings. The pressure (internal and external) to be a certain way, do better, protect, make the best choice for your baby and family before paying attention to your own needs and wants (or even giving yourself a second to think about these) is a challenge. I have an eight year old and a two year old ( I am 30) and have felt this way with both children when they were younger and now. This feeling doesn't change, however, it will evolve over time and you adapt to deal with it in your own way. The first few years as a parent are the most physically demanding (lack of sleep etc.) and emotionally draining in terms of the evolution of your role and SOUL. Not to mention the evolution of your relationship as parents together and every other relationship you have also. The challenge is an experience of growth and with that, comes growing pains, decisions on how you want to handle things, who you are and will become. Cheers to parenthood and congrats on recognizing that you require a bit of guidance and help to navigate all of these emotions and pressures. I too am in the same boat.
We are 9-10 years apart but I relate to you. It's weird. My life looks nothing like yours right now. I'm trying to change and It's weird. Thanks for sharing, It's greatly appreciated.
As always thank you for always being so open, honest and vulnerable with us. It’s incredible. Im beyond grateful for it. I know I’m not the only one. So thank you Shan♥️
My baby girl is 9 months and I can really relate to many things you said here.
Love from Cameroon
Thank you so much Shan… as someone who’s 21 with friends who all of children I’m questioning everything just like Jared my boyfriend wants a child someday.. I don’t know if I do… you’ve put a lot in perspective and I thank you so much… 💓 I know I’m not ready right now but one day hopefully I’ll get myself ready.
Thank you so much for being honest and authentic in this video Shan! I really appreciate it. Literally felt like this could was over me head this week 💓
I love this transparency! ❤️
i'ma be honest, i'm a bit scared that my idol has such strong struggles, since your journey is what gives me hope that i can be my full self and there's a magical amazing life waiting for me in my future.
As always, thank you for always being so transparent with us 🥺 I feel much less alone in living through hard seasons when I hear other people sharing their experiences. Thank you for this!! ❤️
Your vulnerability to share all of this is amazing! You always have such interesting and great content.
I love you, Shan, and I am right there with you. I became a mother in January and my anxiety about doing right by my daughter is constant… My anxiety about staying on track to accomplish my personal goals is constant… And my FOMO is constant, too. Thank you for sharing your journey with us. My blessings are ballooning, but the pressure that comes along with them is real. It’s comforting to know I’m not alone 💛🧡💜
Exactly how I’m feeling constantly, my kid is 5 months old and wow it’s a lot and the unpreparedness emotionally for the ups and downs of it hit hard. Praying for better days
Mourning the loss of your free and single self. Ooof, I felt that so deep. Currently working through this in therapy myself.
Shannon thank you. I really felt every word you said and you just spoke to so many emotions I’ve existed in and felt but have never really been able to articulate. Thank you. I love and appreciate you
Tokoza thank you
I was anxious to watch this video. I’m newly pregnant after a long time of TTC and now that I’m pregnant I feel completely whiplashed by the anticipation of my life will change (and is already changing.) I’m mourning my life in an anticipatory way and I didn’t anticipate I’d feel this way. I was anxious that this video would make me feel more nervous by confirming all of my worries but it was actually very comforting and reassuring. I’m not sure what in particular was comforting about it but maybe it is the way you expresses your challenges and experiences without an energy of resentment or to fear monger. I’m rambling at this point but I just want say that you are so appreciated and you are such a gem in this world. Thank you for the courage to be transparent in all things. We really benefit from hearing your perspective on life.💛
I'm not a mom yet but I have been talking to a lot of new mom friends about these stressors of finding a place for yourself in your life. In empathy I found myself getting emotional as Shan did. I think therapy is a lovely option for those who can afford it to really help with mitigating that guilt and shame and also helping you to maybe realize patterns or come up with ways to help you feel more "you" and more in control. Motherhood is so challenging and I'm sure I'm still not even scratching the surface since I don't have children of my own but my heart really goes out to those of you who are just trying your best each day.
I signed up because of you. Just too broke to follow through. This was great Shan.
Email me I’ll help you out hi@shanboodram.com
@@shanboody I will! Thank you.
This was beautiful! I can’t really say much else, but thank you for sharing YOU in a very authentic way with us.
As a mother of a 23 year old son..the fear of failure, the sense of responsibility never ends..it gets better..and having lost my mother at age 12..wanting your mother never stops either.. we learn, we grow, we adjust..everything gets better if you let it..but you know this Shan..thankyou for always sharing your growth..I appreciate you more because you remind us all to do the work..
Thank you for sharing, and for such a real, honest, and raw video. Motherhood is hands down THEE most difficult thing I've ever done in my life. I have help (my mom lives with us
when she's not traveling and I have a great village) and I sometimes feel guilty for feeling like this is so hard because other people DON'T have extra hands. You touched on a lot of things in this video, all of them relatable. 💛🙃
Your feelings are valid, your worries are normal and as you mentioned "good fears". We're riding the wave with you and can't wait to see you blossom on the other side.
No rain No flowers