What Is The Virtue And Vice Of INFJs (The Paladin)? | Integrity Vs. Corruption | CS Joseph
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- Опубликовано: 28 июл 2024
- What Is The Virtue And Vice Of INFJs (The Paladin)? CS Joseph explores Integrity Vs. Corruption
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Now THIS is a guy who gets INFJs.
100%
I agree.
“Get the losers out of your life.”
Harsh advice for INFJs, because we want to improve people and make them better. But at the same point, the first person that every INFJ must improve is himself/herself.
Guys the reason he's so "harsh" on INFJs is because he knows how important you are. He gets so impassioned about it because it's so critical to have good quality INFJs.
INFJs who love themselves & know themselves are unstoppable.
I know myself. I love myself. I was once in a toxic work environment. I kept away from them as long as I could until I was rescued by an ENFP. Now I’m living my dream. Now when I meet someone toxic, I shut them out of my life, no matter who they are. That’s probably where they get the INFJ door slam comes from.
Thank you for pouring your heart out into these videos.
Hi. I was working in an extremely toxic financial banking environment. I've taken 6 months off to "fill my cups" and I feel better than ever. I love myself and have gotten good at setting personal boundaries and cutting people out if they're overstepping so your post really resonated with me.
I am just wondering what u do now for a living to drive fulfilment. I don't have an ENFP so I need to rescue myself ,😝
This mirror thing is probably why infjs are hard to find
I do feel like every INFJ is born with a vision and a lot of love for people but that sensitivity gets trampled on and taken for granted, or people truly don’t believe we had the greatest intentions and it eventually irreversibly corrodes us. I’m not feeling sorry for myself but sometimes I look at my own trajectory and just feel it’s such an heartbreaking one because people will trample on something good just to make themselves feel good because they can’t stand the INFJ criticising them, even if that is completely true. Honestly the toxic people who have destroyed me, I truly regret having given them the faith that they would not do so.
Break that barrier learn to use your sword. It's easy but don't cast so quick because you cut your people you cut yourself.. Honestly socially engineering a human from an INFJ position is quite easy but, is it morally correct.. ? Yes only from the quiver so the thief doesn't come .
Real life is always tragic, and those who do not know this has never lived.
@@chumplum2590 How dare you insult Pewdiepie (an INFJ's) army??!?!
There is no coming to consciousness without pain....Carl Jung
You did it again. Far too honest and exposing things I want no one else to know about me. You brought me to tears. This was too relevant too my life over the past two years. I just pushed the corruption out 7 months ago and I'm still healing and trying to get it together.
DustyinLVNV I got your back, don’t give up :)
@@novaimperialis hey could you find your type? I really recommend you to play with the cognitive functions. If you didn't find it out, I can try explaining it to you ;)
Same here too buddy boo.. These are things that I don't want people to know about me as well.. I know how it feels when you get stuck in a brain that you can't even break the rules for your own advantage.
I’m an INFP and I’ve known an INFJ for about 8 years and she’s always been the first one to tell me if I’m out of line. She’s the 2nd most blunt person I know only to one of the ESTJs I know. Only the ESTJ is more critical of superficial things, and the INFJ has always been critical of my character, and I always end up appreciating it.
Estjs just about power
I think mirroring is so difficult to describe to others who know who they are with unwavering certainty. As an INFJ, I struggle with being authentic to myself in the more day to day decisions I am faced with; especially when I feel that another person prefers something different (obviously with exclusion to my core values). A good example of this is choosing to eat Italian, even if I don't prefer it that day, but knowing it is the other person's favorite. I am always analyzing what other's think/feel/want based on body language, subtle cues in tone or slight comments. However, I have noticed as I get older, I am less inclined to deny myself what I need or desire. I spent so much time trying to please so many people that I lost part of my identity. People call the INFJ the 'chameleon' because we can feel the energy from others, their desires, their views, and we can change our own to suit the other person's. Perhaps, the word 'change' is too strongly used here, as it is more a mask that we put on to cover our own desires/thoughts.
I have done a tremendous amount of reflection in the last few years, and I had a thought about all these masks...'but which, praytell, is my real face?' It was a question that kept me up at night. Not to say that pleasing others by putting on those masks was done out of ill intentions, but the result left me feeling fake...and manipulated, and a bit lost. I decided to try being real, started saying no, created boundaries, and regardless of the reactions of others, it felt genuine to who I am and honest to those I care about. I have lost quite a few "friends" due to this change, but I prefer the honesty, and it feels nice to show who I really am to the world, sans masks. In the end, if you are authentic and truly evaluate your intentions/desires then harmony can still be achievable for your sake, and the sake of others.
Also, a lot of the facade was centered in my very real fears of rejection and abandonment. The 'what if?' questions would flood my mind...facing that fear for what it is, truly helped me identify when it was triggered and subsequently a mask would go up to protect (ie: people please), and I'd have to tear it down again and re-evaluate.
INFJs...Who are we? We don't really know, but we definitely know who we are not.
This is so beautifully written. That last phrase- YUP. Much love.
Seriously, the most insightful comment on INFJ struggle I have ever read. Thank you for writing it. ♥
As an INFJ, I actually have such high integrity that I don't really have the corruption problem. That could be because I'm super picky with who I want in my life.
Me too, It's like I have "loser radar" If someone doesn't meet that standard of integrity or I get a bad vibe, I just don't bother. It's like "I know where this is gonna go...so yeahhh no thanks"
Exactly, the corruption bit left me confused cos my integrity is so strong it would not let me stoop. It feels unwavering and as if should I lose everything, it would be the only thing I was left with.
It could be situational. For instance, parents or guardian/ authority figure who doesn't hold such integrity while demands a certain behaviour from INFJ. When it happens in childhood, it could become a developmental issue with INFJ child. It will then take some time to understand the INFJ self and heal the damage.
The corruption of an INFJ is absolutely frightening. I've observed that even when INFJs have high quality people in their life, their tendency toward negative emotion as a result of their Fi Critic will lead them down a very dark path dominated by codependency and an intense fear of abandonment. On this path, they perform well for others with the expectation of receiving "love" back because they have never experienced or known real unconditional love. It's truly scary and sad to see their corruption. A corrupt INFJ is self-love deficient and empty which is ironic because they're all about finding meaning. They're also all about truth, and often become upset when people lie to them, but they lie to themselves by rationalizing their bad behavior.
It was during my recovery process that i discovered the mbti in an effort to understand myself, i took the test and when i read the result i cried because i had never felt understood, and had not understood myself, i had struggled all my life with people asking me what was wrong with me and why couldn't i be like other people, more social and engage in small talk, it sounds little but it has caused me extreme grief and self loathing for not being able to function like other people, so reading the result was the beginning of my journey to understand myself and realize i was not a crazy person, it was like the sun came out.
Mbti has helped me grow so much, you cannot grow without criticism and being willing to look at yourself honestly and having the desire to always improve as human on this earth. It can be painful, but i have found that every difficult moment in my life has taught me something amazing and actually helps me to connect with ever more people, and understand them on a deeper level, so it is very much worth it. Great video.
You are most welcome.
This INFJ loves you! You have this so right! So much more to say, have dealt with being corrupted and having to gut my entire life and be hardcore about not backing down.
Cari Fults awesome, keep it up, we need you to lead with your integrity.
Tears in my eyes
True, what you say about miroiring is absolutely correct. We harbour a blunt opinion for everybody that we do not always share. But if you ask, we will smack you over the head with it.
However, we also see incredibly beautiful/awesome things inside of people too.
Steve Davenport I know you wrote this some two years ago, but I watched this video for the first time today. And your comment about that “we harbor a blunt opinion for everybody (yes everybody, true) that we don’t always share. (Me personally I seldom share them at all.) But if you ask, we will smack you over the head with it.” Oooohhh absolutely. If you ask, you’re gonna get exactly what think, not to hurt you, but because you asked.
Last months I see this INFJ trait so significantly that it helped me to type some people. From my point of view it is the most significant trait between INFP and INFJ for example. The way INFJ try their best to be truthful and objective to themselves is really unique.
It's a massive difference between INFPs and INFJs too.
Wow! I felt this! Like wow! I busted out laughing when you said “GET THE LOSERS OUT OF YOUR LIFE”!!!” and YOUR RIGHT! Hands down, you are very accurate. Keep on doing your videos!
After struggling to know my own type for 2 years, finding I'm an INFJ and watching your videos is a wonderful breath of fresh air.
awesome!
"GET THE LOSERS OUT OF YOUR LIFE!" loved it!
My ex is an INFJ. Once he started to hang out around the wrong people, I knew I had lost him. He got into using and selling drugs, driving drunk, cheating, having unprotected sex, and many other things. I encouraged him to find better people, but he didn't want to betray the loyalty he had gained with the "friends" he already had. Being one of the only good influences for him took everything out of me. Not only did he put me in danger, but he became so twisted that all of my will power and empathy couldn't pull him out of it. That's when I started to resent him and plot my little vendetta (I wrote about it on the INTP vs. INTJ video for those who want the story).
Seeing him become so corrupted was one of the scariest things I have seen. He damaged a lot of people, me, and himself. I couldn't even show him what he had done because it became such an intimate part of himself. I'll admit that after 2 years of being without him, his corruption still affects me to this day. Even though I am over him as a person, I am still not over his actions and the deep pain I hold.
It's weird - I don't take on the lifestyle of people that I hang around even though I'm INFJ and I've seen others say the same. I don't respect people who copy others and don't have their own ideas. Most of us only mirror 'in the moment' using Fe as a tool in order to facilitate the social connection but afterwards we just go back to our original attitude. I think the confusion comes from other types *thinking* they've convinced us due to the Fe kind of falseness but they don't realise how stubbornly we cling to our views underneath - some of us really dig our heels in. So basically if I was around people who were vastly different to me I'd just detach from the situation in my head, nod and smile outwardly but very much remain my own person inside (and no I'm definitely not an INFP as my sister is one of those and we're chalk and cheese). I think any INFJ who fundamentally changes in the way you've described is unbalanced/immature, maybe has a mood disorder or had an unhelpful upbringing. It does go to show how varied the INFJ type is though. The following is just my opinion but it's what I've noticed - perhaps more than any other type there's a huge variation amongst INFJs and I believe it's to do with the ephemeral nature of Ni (plus how developed your lower functions are) - Ni expresses so differently from person to person.
Being influenced by others is also due to poor boundary function and I do see online that some INFJs seem to struggle with this (which is why they get involved with narcs and types like that) but personally I don't.
He was unhealthy and did in fact suffer from a mood disorder. I have a very good INFJ friend now that is mature and I can see the stark difference maturity and health makes for this type.
Chase also mentioned that many INFJs go through a lot of suffering, which my ex had. I believe this suffering and his poor upbringing had a severe impact on his corruption. I was young and I thought I could help him. But I left because it wasn't healthy of me to keep trying.
Yeah probably - at least you left.
I like that as the video progresses it gets darker and creepier, much like what you are talking about INFJ's descent to corruption. I don't know if that was intentional but I find that awesome. Cherry on top is the playground lol
I have NEVER cried from a video having to do with this subject matter but I wasn't expecting your video to say what it did.... I'm going through the whole getting away from the bad people thing right now, and the loneliness sucks.
I made friends with them because I didn't want to be alone but I was tired of feeling guiltyand having anxiety everyday because of the stuff they were talking me into doing with them and so now I'm back to feeling the same. I am working on repairing relationships with friends who I pushed away while I was being a not so upstanding individual and watching your video made me feel like I made the right decision in walking away. You have absolutely no idea how much I needed to hear this.
Thank you.
Seriously.
Kacee, thank you very much for this comment. It is for people like you, that I do this every day.
You have provided us an accurate and insightful analysis. Thank you.
I feel your deep frustration and yearning where it concerns INFJ leadership. However, I hope to re-frame it as a matter of statistical probability, rather than
a problem of an overabundance of incompetent INFJs.
Some people get flummoxed at your "tip of the spear" imagery because they crave power, and assume that "apex" = "best". They can't and won't
see that it is the tip that gets destroyed upon impact, leaving the rest of us to claim the glory of the fateful strike. Solon of ancient Greece -- Plutarch wrote of him
-- was one leader who understood this and left his country immediately after implementing the massive changes needed to save
it. Gandhi and MLK knew they were at extreme risk of assassination and were forced to make peace with it in order to lead.
We can now deduce that it's more a matter of creating the conditions for an INFJ to emerge, and less a matter of exhorting them to take the reins.
When the time comes, an INFJ will pick up the reins because they are destined to, not because they want to. And they will do so in spite of knowing what's in store for them at the end. So you can see how using exhortation as a motivational tool in this case is like hitting a nail with a pillow.
If:
1. Female INFJ leadership typically looks after family, and concerns itself with everyone who falls under any definition of that word,
2. Male INFJ leadership typically looks after humanity because the lack of maternal instinct forces him to consider all of humanity "family".,
3. All INFJs are unwilling leaders, and they lead out of a sense of duty because power doesn't light up their pleasure centers.,
4. INFJs make up five thousanths of the population (0.5%)
,
5. Pareto principle is true (80% of productivity is created by 20% of the people)
,
Then:
1. Female INFJ leadership at the macro level is highly improbable, due to family preference in funneling their energies.
(Oprah is the exception that proves
the rule here, but only in a paradoxical way. She lost her only child when she was 14 years old, and later named him Canaan because he represented the turning
point when she willed herself to enter the promised land. The paradox is that it was losing her family that caused her to lift her eyes to the stars.)
2. Macro-focused INFJs = 0.25% of people (i.e.: men)
3. Applying the Pareto Principle, approximately 20% of INFJ men will be self-possessed enough to be useful to others at any given time. (0.05% are people are actualized INFJ men)
4. Applying the Pareto Principle once again 20% of actualized men will have faced their Balrog.
(A grey wizard is amazing and wonderful, but it takes a white one to challenge Saruman, let alone Sauron.)
5. Approximately 0.01% of people are INFJs capable of challenging an overbearing sociopolitical milieu (represented in fiction as the Eye of Sauron). (1 in 10,000).
Not bad odds, really.
We can also assume that a Balrog-purified INFJ:
1. Knows with crystal clarity that once the spear lands on target, both he and the thing that needs changing will be destroyed.
2. Already knows his calling; his destiny. He (or she, if we're impossibly lucky) will seemingly appear out of the
ether right after you think all hope is lost.
3. Has a chest full of pearls of wisdom but, like Jesus, knows better than to cast them before swine.
4. Will wait until there is a population that is willing and able to receive.
5. Knows prophet-style leaders are necessary to prepare populations to receive. John the Baptist comes to mind.
My question to you:
Was John the Baptist an ENTP?
akslr8 this is one of the best comments on this channel. And there is a good chance that John the Baptist was an ENTP.
Thanks; that helps me feel less guilty about its length. I ran out of time to add brevity.
I adore this comment.
"When the time comes, an INFJ will pick up the reins because they are destined to, not because they want to. And they will do so in spite of knowing what's in store for them at the end."
This is me, to the core, was since a young child when struggling with immense trauma and stress too. I have this hero-archetype bound to my very existence.
@akslr8 Thank you
if you've also thought out how can an INFJ get closer to the 0.01 percent, do you mind sharing?
I mirror my husband most. I'm glad bc he's INTJ hes a solid fortress of even higher ethical and moral standards than myself and he easily holds them in himself bc of his Te and then Fi.
Me too. I wouldn't be the person I am today without him
I wonder as an infj man, do I will be good with an intj girl ? Because I have an intj girl friend that get her and she get me very well in texting messages, I didn't meet her yet.
When it comes to deepness, understanding and intellect I prefere intjs over enfps. Enfp for me are superficial, temperamental, random and noisy.
I seek out the INTJ for this exact reason
Oh...my...g...the accuracy 😭 I always straight up tell people that I’m not nice or mean; I’m reactive and I only treat you the way you treat me.
AlleycatKier 🤣heard this from an INFJ one too many times, that’s exactly the sentence they use!
This is a great description of exactly what it is like. I hold within me the capability of exposing the ugliest and most beautiful things in others. When they look at me, I can react as a mirror to who they are through my eyes. I think this is the reason why people are alienated. They see themselves with clarity, and they are afraid of the intensity of what is being reflected back to them. Everyone I meet says that they know I can see what they have hidden, so they disclose it almost without intention. I hold within me, many people's secrets. It's a huge responsibility that I am just now coming to grips with.
I’m in therapy and decided to find my type and after a ton of research and self-analysis, I found I’m an INFJ. The only problem is that due to childhood trauma, I do not feel empathy, remorse, or guilt. I was very sensitive as a child however and it’s become very obvious that Ni has guided my entire life. It makes sense why I’ve never been in trouble with the law thanks to my intuition and intelligence, but I have never connected with people in the way that INFJs seem to be able to. I hope that with therapy I can unlock that part of myself that was shattered as a child and covered with a structure designed to nullify the pain. This 30 year old friendly psychopathic INFJ wishes you the best.
As an infj i appreciate the honest and more complete picture of this type that you delve into, and you hit the nail right on the head, this october i will have 8 years clean off of drugs, i became an addict because it numbed my heartbreak, i was shattered and did horrible things for almost a year, this was so out of my character, especially considering i did not even start abusing drugs until i was 25 years old, and had no history of deviant behavior at all. It had a run of about a year and half and i did not care if i lived or died, i was caught and arrested for writing a false prescription the 2nd time and i was very very lucky that getting caught saved my life because i was nearly successful in killing myself. When i was caught my dirty secret was revealed to my family and few close friends who had no idea what i was doing and just thought i had some bad health problems, it shocked everyone in the worst way and my self identity and ego were destroyed completely.
This turned out to be the most pivotal point in my life to this day and i am so greatfull for having gone through this because it has entirely changed my view of people and the world for the better, and really develop as much healthier person.
Well said, I am thankful you are okay now and able to contribute to a better world and a better tomorrow.
@@CSJoseph I wish the people who criticize you as harsh, uncaring, etc. could read this replied comment to see how very wrong they are about your character.
You are changing the world C.S. Joseph, God is pleased! You are helping us INFJs break through our heavy load, and it's soo very appreciated ❤️
Your words sound harsh but the emotion driving them is love. Your authenticity is unmatched and honestly, your depth of knowledge in typology is far beyond anyone I have seen. Truly impressive.
And the fact he says he reads every comment, and then does...hats off to you man. One of the top underrated channels and teachers without question.
Am I crying rn? I always thought that no one will understands me forever...because I am so complicated. But this video, oh my~ You leaked every details.
I felt so guilty for kicking every single person in my life. I ft like a monster and even considered myself one, but I didn't ever wanted to talk to anyone. Everyone seemed very mean and cruel till now, I wanted to feel that I belong just to one person but there is none. Thank you Joseph, you are really amazing.
I love how my integrity is stronger than my corruption. I have very manipulative people around me, including my parents. And instead of giving in and becoming like them i just walked away from them and now im immune to their manipulation which makes me very happy. My classmates are also not very good people, and it seems like i simply attract people of "lower quality" but i stick to the ones with the higher quality. I watched your video about social engineering infjs and right after i watched it, i cut ties with a really helpless person that only made me feel worthless. Ill help the ones who appreciate it and want me to help them. Thank you!
Also you motivated me so much??? Like how amazing can you be
This video and the one about social engineering made me see my worth and you seem like you know how much that means to an infj and how much it changes their whole life. I was working on appreciating and respecting myself more and you just made me do it. It really means a ton to me. Also considering that im still very young also motivates me because h e l l y e a h.
Wow, this is so spot on and a timely message. Recently, I took the Myers-Briggs test and it has helped immensely. I now know who I am so I can move forward. It’s been there all along, I just didn’t see it.
I now know why I was adopted. God had His reasons. I most likely would have been corrupted. Flashbacks of my childhood confirm this. The code of moral standards was always high and I’m very thankful. Although it has been painful, I had to trust that God knew what He was doing.
My life has been totally crazy. I don’t know how many jobs I have quit because I didn’t want to associate myself with the corruption. It gets really tiring. The last job was at another home health company. I didn’t like how they operated.
The owner was a controlling, condescending dictator. The morale of the company was very low. People were just a means to an end, whether you were a patient or an employee. I nicknamed the place “The Cash Cow”.
Our boss led a meeting in which she was banging her fists on the table, at on time threatening me she would fire me if I continued to wear my coat in the office, etc. She was supposed to be a nurse. Not a very good one, in my opinion. Yes, I’m judging, so be it.
She really didn’t know who she was dealing with. I just gave the whole situation to God. Why does He always put me in these positions? LOL
Lo and behold, I attempt to drive into work but I can’t. There is a Chevy Malibu blocking the entrance. I am struggling to see the large men getting of the car as I drive past. I see them wearing blue jackets with yellow lettering. My curiosity is really getting the better of me. I turn on the next street as I attempt to enter the parking lot on the back side.
It’s blocked at this entrance too? Another man in a blue jacket with the letters FBI is redirecting traffic at this entrance.
I wasn’t able to go to work that day. Text messages later that day were sent: “business as usual tomorrow “. Maybe it’s another day in paradise for them but I’m jettison. That was the straw that broke the camel’s back. I refused to work for a corrupt company.
It’s going to take some time but I believe the owner will be behind bars soon. You do reap what you sow. He has no regard for human life.
After many years I have fixed my mirror.I got self respect. Thank you I thought it was good of you to give others credit for their work. ❤
Wow. Everything you said in this video was absolutely spot on. I never thought of things in terms of a “cracked mirror,” but that’s exactly what it is. Your ISTP and ESTP videos were spot on, too! My brother is an ISTP and my husband is ESTP. You are very inspiring! Thank you for putting your honest thoughts out there, C.S. Joseph! 🙏
Sammy J thank you for your kind words and support. I hope my work can help people understand each other.
C.S. Joseph It certainly does. You have a gift!
This really moved me and it resonates with exactly what I have been going thru. I grew up in a broken home, with an alcoholic father, and when I was 23 i developed an alcohol problem and was charged with DUI, I moved out and went clear across the country because I knew I would only be worse off staying. My integrity eventually built back up and skyrocketed, I quit drinking, I became everything I wanted to be. Successful, well liked, top performer at my job in HVAC sales, But even across country corruption found me, I divorced soon after marrying a woman I was with for 5 years. And life fell apart. During this time I lost my mother to diabetes, and I moved back to the midwest to be there for my father when he was diagnosed with lung cancer. Just being around the people who corrupted me to begin with caused it to return. I began drinking, and fell into a depression. I stopped caring and emotionally shut down. Then recieved 2 back to back DUIs. I lost everything, had no money, or food, and was living in an apartment that had a different utility shut off every month. I don't know how I found the will to keep going but I did. This was 3 .5 years ago, and it took 2 years to begin to heal again. I quit drinking, and have zero desire to ever start again, I found a good job and a good woman, and then I learned I was INFJ. My whole world changed since that realization. I help everyone I know at work with their problems, in and out of work, and I can tell they appreciate me. That's all I ever wanted. and The last case is ongoing still. I believe in paying for my mistakes, at the same time I don't feel that I was the same person I was then, and my fear is that this is going to set me back years after all my progress. I have had a desire to try to explain in court what has happened, but nobody wants to hear the truth. They just want to believe I'm some degenerate, even tho I can prove I'm not. I dont know where to turn or how to convince them that the circumstances happened because of how i am, and the people I was around. And removing myself from all that has given me a much more positive and fulfilling life.
I want to fight, because I know the truth. But i dont know how to make them hear my voice. This brings on the worthless feeling, and it scares me that it will develop into more corruption.
Any help would move mountains for me. Kargathalon @ gmail . Com. Thank you.
This really ffin hit hard.
It explained the war in my mind. The desire to get away from those I love the most because of bad paths and habits they took in life and I against my conciousness or because of naivity took part of.
I do mirror them and have been doing so for a long time, almost like we a have an internal culture I adapt too that actually is very different from my personal way of being. It's been a true war of consciousness, they are my real family and I try to reset their course through subtle ways, with varying succes, because I deeply care for them. But they in turn also try to persuade me to settle down, take a breath, not take things so seriously, and just relax and care less. I can't because its plain to see they're heading in a downward direction, making amoral decisions and barely having higher aims other then wanting to get rich to relax even more. Not aligned at all with what I aim for in life, almost the exact opposite. However, because I am with them so much and them being in the majority, my life took on a lot more of their ways instead of keeping to mine, resulting in me adjusting to that life and fighting that adjustment in my head constantly in a war for my identity and deeply held ambitions. A war that hasn't been going so well but I'll never give up on for fear of the alternative.
Luckily, they'll never give up on me and truly value my presence and thoughts. Abandoning them is not going to happen, but this was a highly valuable insight I will take to heart!
You just don’t know how true & powerful this really is! Thanks for your great, honest words. Just what an INFJ loves.
Excellent video. Let me just say that sometimes INFJs do what they need to do to survive (physically or emotionally). They know it isn't ideal or up to the standards they set for themselves, but they don't see a better choice, right or wrong.
Wow, Thank you so much for your tough love words…I’m happy that I’ve found my tribe in my life. Surrounded by caring, highly intelligent people. The way you speak to us it’s the way that I talked to friends/family who I really care for. Having the right people around you is the key in addition to strong boundaries.
Best INFJ video ever watched. Thanks.
This is so on point. I left manufacturing jobs after bullying (which I took for years) but when it came to asking me to lie to save the department, I had it. That was on 2 occassions. I wanted to desperately call out on their crap and make it public inside the company, but somehow I just dropped their corruption and let them just continue their ways. I dont think anybody was going to do anything about the internal politics. Everyone just rolled with it. Other jobs major problems its the passive aggressiveness of the people and becoming literally sick bc you're absorbing all of the emotions of others of mutual disdain but they keep it inside, and no one tackles that directly. It'd be suicidal for their jobs. Or bc the leaders dont do what they want everyone to model. That's when I feel disgusted and so stressed I become ineffective and stop caring. It's hard to work out in the world or corporations as INFJ. The best is to be self employed or private practice as many sources say of our type.
All my life I’ve been surrounded by toxic people and it has affected my self esteem and self worth greatly. So much that I never loved myself and I treated myself poorly. But not anymore! I’ve learned to love myself these past years and I finally got the strength and courage to cut out all the losers out of my life. I’ve finally awakened and am taking my power back. It wasn’t easy, but it had to be done. It’s not worth it, to lose myself. Thank you for all you do! The truth hurts sometimes, but the truth is for the best 💖
I hope you and your mentor can restore your relationship. Your love and respect for him is clearly evident!
I intend to, in the afterlife. But in this life, probably not. I forgive him, I hope he forgives me.
As an INFJ, who was corrupt for a brief time when I was younger, it makes me emotional to think of the lives that this video could be impacting in such an amazing way. Keep up the great work!
"Get the losers out of your life" is definitely good advice for INFJs. And Jesus hooked up with Mary Magdelane. Maybe he turned the " low quality person" around and made her feel gratitude and maybe even made her understand compassion. Maybe some people have some karma sacrificing themselves for the betterment of others, even if they are being used or manipulated. Suffering sucks. But it sure makes you learn about yourself and IMPROVE
Great talk. That broken mirror bit is true, I've shut out a corrupt ENFJ but still have lingering trauma from that...5 months later!
Poppy Stils yeah NFJs can really entangle every part of the soul. It’s a good experience but always has lasting effects.
I'm INFJ so probably double entanglement lol
thank you, am an infj. The world needs more people like you, who tell the truth as it is. This is true empowerment
As a religious INFJ, I will say that one of the most liberating things about 19:26 having an objective moral structure to submit to it the fact that Gods ways are the walls and barriers I once sought out in people. I know what limits I must function under, and no longer feel displaced with my strong need to place loyalty somewhere. I have grown a lot as a person and have been able to unleash my sense of integrity with known bounds, as well as under the head of a philosophy which naturally leads me to a place of patience and humility. I used to struggle more with my TI because of how it would make me clash with others, but I have since become softer and have learned to use my natural tendencies in a much healthier way. God really resolved all of my problems and gave inexplicable purpose to my life
You're right about the integrity part. An intimate someone hurt me real bad personally. But I didn't abandon him in other areas, such as work and projects, just because I had assured him early on that he'd always have my back no matter what. I kinda doorslammed him wrt emotions, but he knew I was there for him too where he needed me the most when others ditched him or were willing to. It drove him crazy. And then he acknowledged how much he had hurt me. So it's all good now. And I've grown so much as a person from this experience.
He's an ESTP btw.
You should probably do a comparison video between the INFJ and INFP (like you did with "How Do ISFPs Compare To INFPs" video) to clear up the mistypes.
Arlinda Quaresma thank you for your kind words, and yes INFJs are super compatible with ENTPs.
Paul this lecture is on the schedule
I can't wait for this. I was with an INFP for 10 years and had a corrupt one try and creep into my life in the past year.
24:14 and on.. that was my breaking point.. it made me cry so much because I’ve always given myself to the wrong people who drain me and make me feel so worthless like I’ve failed and I’m not good enough. Their lack of change my inability to make a change in their life it eats me up and hurts so much. “Some people can’t be saved..” I just learned that and I’m 30years old. Thank you so much for this video, it hurt me in all the right ways.
Hello Joseph, I hope you will see this message. I just saw your INFJ ENFP golden pair and I want to comment on something on this video since I couldn't find any email to send personal message. First I want to say that I love you and appreciate the thing you do and its very important. I am INFJ and I am Christian Greek Orthodox, I experience through commune (Blood and Body of Jesus) an amazing experience that I wish for everyone to experience, especially for you because you know so much about psychology and you can help people. in this experience you have no fear, doubt, you love God and people, you see through situations and people, your mind is clear, you don't worry about anything and nothing to be sad about, you feel that eternity exists, no passions, and especially no body pleasure calls, like food and sex. Trying to reach to not make sins, God sees your effort and takes you to the end of your journey in a mysterious way, maybe your demons are loosing the right to fight you since your sins are forgiven. This feeling left when I was getting afraid of my future, not completing my studies, that I finally did. I say all of this just because it hurts me to hear that Jesus had a relationship with a girl or something, I believe that is far away from truth because of his purity, sex etc is out of our true soul nature when its happening for pleasure, I believe that Jesus (based on my knowledge and especially experience) knew his purpose and didn't need any ENFP or anybody to challenge him and make him act. I need an ENFP indeed. Thank you for your help!
Jesus would have had to be a man in every aspect in order for His sacrifice to be the most meaningful.
@@CSJoseph maybe the emotional part since He never did a sin.
I grew up with parents who hated each other and went out of their way to avoid talking about feelings... to each other and to my brothers and I. Growing up in this atmosphere, my Ti took over, spewing out pride and criticism... all the while thirsting for understanding (from outside sources) of what true love in family life looked like. Those two notions battled inside me, wreaking havoc on my soul and all relationships. It wasn't until I met my husband (intp) that the layers of my brick wall started to be torn down. By him, myself, and our (future) children. How thankful I am to have had true love in my life to aid in the nurturing and thereby the outpouring of my soul. I definitely still struggle with all my vices, but have learned many helps and gained the inspiration to help others.
Awesome.
*Great* *video!* I'm INFJ 4w5 and I grew up with a hyper-critical enneagram type 1 father. Because my father was so hypocritical to others, I gained a strong dislike and sensitivity of hypocrisy.
For a long time, I recognized myself as living a Parvati-Kali archetype - I prefer peace and sweet harmony (Parvati side) but when I observe hypocrisy then I become a destroyer of demons (Kali).
I recently had a strong reaction with a covert narcissist where I reflected/mirrored their bad behaviour and she started executing narcissistic defenses back to me.
This narc. woman literally had me think that I was going crazy (corrupted) - I executed no contact and I'm now recovering.
Thank you (and your mentors) for identifying the "Integrity vs. Corruption" issue with INFJ's!
Watching this video again cause I resonate more and more every time. I just had to be the “leader” in a fight back against the company I work for. They were trying to hide a covid-19 case from some of the employees and the general public. Even went as far as to threaten the jobs of my colleagues and I. Nobody took charge so I had to be the one to wake people up and now everybody is on board and ready to fight back. I really became a wild fire taking down everything in my way and people followed that lead.
Wow, this really hits home. Wish I saw this many years ago. Integrity makes so much sense, and the frustration as I look back on where I didn't follow it, where I was manipulated by guilt especially. Damaged goods is definitely how I see myself sometimes. "You treated the best version of me like crap, now you get this or you can leave." The pull to be vindictive and ultimately, hypocritical is strong, and I lost a lot of my best traits to anger and bitterness for a while. Gentleness, compassion, gone. Kindness because "I'm kind", nope. I've, uh, prayed a lot for healing and to be who God calls me to be, not what my circumstances dictate of me. It's hard.
You are most welcome
I'm an INTJ with an INFJ who was "corrupted" by loneliness and decided to indulge himself in sex. Now I see the reasons. We constantly fought because I was constantly having this feeling that he would betray me. After seeing the virtue and vice of INTJ and INFJ, now I know what to do. I really appreciate this lecture and thanks a lot.
Why do I feel you are not yelling at all but hitting straight to the core? This is so relevant and potent. I’ve been doing this, getting rid of the dysfunctional corrupt people for this entire past year, like a cleansing, and my inner world is altering dramatically.
Something that actually triggered me (not as in raging, but rather wanting to go into a corner and sob my lungs out) was when you mentioned "consistency". I grew up in a loving, caring family but some things happened or some things were done that have actually leave wounds that have been quite hard to heal, and the lack of consistency from them has been one of them. From my archetype I know that I was already prone to things like performance-anxiety, people-pleasing, and lack of trust but some of those experienced might have made all those things worse. Having to deal with adults who one second seem to be the sweetest most caring and dependable persons in the planet, five minute later are either screaming at you because of something like a misplaced pen or any mistake, then not even noticing your presence or if you are pained or hurt in any way, and then are almost crying telling you about their problems and how stressed and weak they feel while you are the child is confusing to say the least. You learn to not know how the heck in front of other people while being "yourself" because you fear that you might have to go from friendly-mode, to defense-mode, to comfort-mode, or sometimes a mix of everything in order to keep everything under "control". Until recently I did not realized how much I actually craved a consistent person, not even caring if they were consistently good or bad to me, I just didn't want to be guessing which role to play today. I guess that's another thing I am trying to heal, these videos seem to be quite helpful.
Thank you so much
This felt like a sermon that I needed to hear. Thank you!
This is unbelievably motivating, thankyou for helping me dig out of a hole I've been in for so long
Thank you so much for your videos! The 16Personalities test said I'm INFP, and you've definitely confirmed that I am. However, I am now also confident that my wife is INFJ.
I'll ask her "I feel like something's going on. Why are you upset with me?." and her response will be "because you're upset with me!". I'm very curious as to how I can use this information to improve our relationship, and I am full-on binge-watching your channel. I love it.
RESPECT! Grateful for your teaching & genuine critique and encouragement.
I am so touched (to tears) by your video account of the INFJ...I've struggled all of my life wondering how I fit in and why it is I intuitively shy away from immoral people even family members. Thank you so much for your honest, heartfelt video about the INFJ need for integrity and areas of weakness especially the 'mirror' concept. This is one of the best accounts of what it means to be an INFJ. My hat's off to you my friend!
you are welcome
Your advice really spoke to my heart, the part about getting losers and low quality people out of my life. In high school, I was surrounded by high achieving friends, and I was really spurred on to work hard; I did reasonably well, above average.
After that, we parted ways because we went to different colleges, and I hung out with lower quality people, particularly those that I felt need saving from. But it “corrupted” me because they didn’t want to be saved. I didn’t do as well in college compared to high school. I didn’t know how to set proper social and emotional boundaries from such people and several of them abused and manipulated me and my kindness. All this occurred throughout my 20s.
Now I’m approaching 30, and I’ve been learning how to love myself, and take care of myself first, so I can love others better. So true. Thank you.
I always wanted to mirror my INTJ perfect in my eyes brother. I didn’t let anyone corrupt me but I also never lived up to my expectations of that perfect brother.
This was on point! Needed all that! Good to hear this outside of myself. 💪🏾.
Thanks man!
I know this is an old video but I always have to give appreciation when its due, and it very much is here. Standing ovation - I needed this and your words hit the bulls eye when no one else's did! Its life changing to get that perspective shift right when you need it! Thank you!
I know this is a while ago, but my God, your videos call me out so good until the point I start tearing up. Thank you so much for this wisdom. God bless you.
Thank you for your videos has really helped me to understand myself better I walked out of a job at the risk of getting into financial difficulty over how they were treating people and customers also I did a mbti test and first came as a infp but I knew I was a infj and yes I've been told I am morally snobby but really just wanted to say so appreciate your channel I hope you continue helping others like me on the path of self discovery. Awesome videos and I love the honesty compliments and criticism
So encouraging. Thank you so much. It’s so hard for me to discern if someone is a loser or genuinely struggling so I’m not able to let go.
Thank you for the time and wisdom you're sharing here. I find your channel very insightful and recently subscribed. I feel like going through your videos in chronological order will provide me with much understanding about myself and those around me. But even as I jump through the content is very eye opening and poignant, I am in awe. You're on point and I had a hard time holding back emotion. As an INFJ I have compromised my integrity to stop the loneliness and paid for it too. I'm hoping to become a healthier INFJ and your videos are helping me, thank you.
I just recently watched both of your INFJ videos and I can honestly say that I have never talked to or met anyone who I felt understood me better, thank you. You have given me food for thought and while I’ve always had a deeeeeep feeling of who I am, I’ve not ever been able to articulate this quite as well as you have.
Throughout my life, as an INFJ, I have fallen into corruption a couple times. Your video put into perspective the concept of mirroring and both times I’ve entered into this realm of corruption the people around me were negative leeches who sucked away any moral fiber that I often felt so strongly.
In recent years though I’ve done quite a bit of soul searching and have aligned myself with the light of virtue and integrity once again. I’ve begun to forge a path to insert myself into the world of politics and have a deep burning desire to make a serious impact on the world. Your videos helped reassure me that this intuitive feeling I have to make a difference is rooted into the very fiber of who I am and is my true purpose in life.
To my fellow INFJ’s, one of the things that helped me out of the corruption was the study of Buddhism. It provides a moral compass to help push you into the direction of living a pure life with the intention of bettering not only yourself but also all of your fellow brothers and sisters. It also gives you the tools to help master your mind.
Thanks for these videos, it’s helped me understand myself much better and has put into perspective why I am the way I am. To all other INFJ’s out there. Keep pushing, do not give up, you are not alone.
Dope!
It’s amazing to think back when I was younger. I felt so different from others and alone in my thoughts like nobody in the world understands, 90% of time I spent was in my own thoughts. Just not long ago I found out that there is such thing as an INFJ and everything in the world just clicked and made sense to me. Lol I wasn’t so surprised when I found out I got the rarest type as an INFJ-T especially because I’m a male.
I got so interested in all those personalities and learned a tonnnn about it, now I know almost every type and how they act and the most little differences in some of them. All thanks to my brother that told me about it, ( he is an INTP), AND OFC U C.S JOSEPH! u have noooo idea noooo clue how much people u helped and educated. Ofc I have watch all your videos lol, U KNOW WHY? bc they are such high quality!!!! More than most RUclipsrssss.
I’m not useful U ARE hhahah
Thank you for your words of encouragement...and love. You inspire me, Chase.
You should do a video on INFJ's Fi Critic. I feel like it is one of the nastiest functions to have in the critic slot, and I want to understand it better.
Damm that hit hard on me, at the end of the video I started to cry. Understanding why we're you cheating in university because others were doing that or cheating on your boyfriend because he was doing that. It is that voice in your head that starts to say : but I can do that also. And of course after that hits the guilt and the insecurities and that the person or situation didn't worth it. But you can handle that shame because you can find enough love and understanding for others but not for you. This is how an immature Infj looks like. But I was lucky growing up in a high ethical family. Both of my parents are like this. But leaving home, moving to a big city, I found myself sometimes sorounded by bad quality people. And of course I started to mirror them. Mostly when you are in an intimate relationship. I think when Infj start to understand what they truly want and they have a purpose in life and they realize how amazing they can be in everything they put their mind in they can literally transform the world and the universe in a better way. A lot of love and hugs from a romanian girl that 2 years ago moved in Germany because the corruption in her country was too much 😘❤️
I love how intense you get. I love your videos
Thank you, I don’t know if you realize how precise of an understanding you have of us. I originally was listening to the video about INTP. I then decided to watch my type and had no idea how much it has moved me. Everything that you have said is true and I am truly thankful for your honesty and all your advice.
Your pain and love for our type comes across so strong in this video...you really did hit the nail on the head. I'm not sure what happened in your relationship with your mentor but he obviously inspired you. I've had relationships like this that fell apart and I can tell you the love never leaves. You are doing a great job serving your purpose. Thank you for you insight amd your information 💜 keep going
Thank you very much Chase. Thank you for what you do. You contribute to my life with these videos
Needed to hear this, thank you 🙏
I appreciate your advice I’ve been working on myself for the last few years after finding out my personality type. I thought I was crazy I felt cursed. I didn’t realize how much info is available on this subject and your knowledge on the personality types is impressive.
Thank you so much for doing what you're doing! You're so brutally honest and at the same time encouraging people to become better and showing such positive energies. I appreciate it so much!
you are most welcome
Amazing, Thankyou for sharing your profound insights
I keep coming back to this, anytime i feel I’m getting off track. Probably the best message I’ve ever received, and I thank you immensely! 🙏
you are welcome
Chase earing you is like a pain in the neck but this was terribly helpfull and true. I will have to see it again and again ! God bless you !
Wow, Thank you. I have been healing the cracks in my mirror for almost 2 years. This answered so many issues that I will no longer wonder why and I can now put more energy and focus on healing and learning.
oh my god. thank you so much for this video. i am so broken inside and i needed to hear this.
Thank you for this. I have never felt more inspired to make a change in my life regarding the type of people I let into my social circle. I was crying at one point, knowing I needed to hear this. I have always prided myself on integrity but lately I have become someone I don't even recognize anymore and it's because of the company I keep. I'm taking charge, thank you again.
I watched this for the 2nd time, and I am glad, because there were aspects I did not absorb the 1st time. I came to this conclusion on my own in my 30s (before I watched your videos), but I am delighted to know it's a real thing and not just some random flaw in myself. I link to this video all the time because I think it is very useful for other INFJs to know this. I now engage in moral auditing of myself by reflex whenever I say or do something with other people, to make sure I know why I am doing it so I do not fall into the same trap I had to dig myself out of in my 20s. Your videos are very useful in articulating things I understood but did not have words for before.
OMG YOU ARE IN MY HEAD!! 💜💚💛❤💙I appreciate your honesty and authenticity..it seems rare these days. Add bitterness and loss of faith to that Ti Child..and it's a HUGE wall. Once an INFJ is convinced to look through another's eyes they can be convinced to see both sides..until then they can be as stubborn as bulls. I NEVER understood myself...it's like I was a different person around every different person.. finally just last year I realized 'Im freaking MIRRORING EVERYONE" crazy! very enlightening! Now it's my Superpower!
Dude.. I fing love you man! Thank you for this!
Integrity and Corruption are the things in my mind the most. I need to have integrity, someone has no integrity is something I don't understand. Have no integrity is to lie and manipulate, which is corruption.
About mirroring others, I don't really agree. I kinda take some behaviors all the time, yes, but just kinda live the same wave with the group.
Corruption isn't something that I get, corruption is what I fear and run from. I fear being corrupted, and I do really mean it. I might be thinking about someone and all the sudden "Did I just think of that person, and that thing which this person has, because i want to use/manipulate/ get closer to that person to get an advantage from them?" And I will literally panic for some time thinking if I was thinking evili or not. And it's hurts. And I am too harsh on myself, that's why I have to not be corrupted, and if slightly were, then my integrity punishes me. Sometimes I wish I really don't care about all of this but at the same time it's a blessing, a blessing that hurts just like a curse. You want it because it's good for you, yet not because it's hurt you. Like drinking bad taste medicine, maybe.
I'm INFJ and I'll admit I do tend to mirror my patterns based on who I'm around, but I have never allowed myself to cross lines that go against my integrity. I decided before I started dating that no matter what I'd never cheat on anyone. I have always ended the relationship if something was wrong. There are limits I've decided on since I was a child thinking about how I want to present myself in my life and I stick to them stubbornly all my life.
Right on. Appreciate your insights in this video. I hope you can take this tone to the other infj videos you put out there. I love hearing about my weaknesses and strength, but as per your advice in this video, I got away from assholes a while ago, and don’t want to bring them back into my life via a video meant to illuminate. Professionalism matters.
Thank you for breaking this down. It's hard to explain to people how hard it is to see everything. The burden of balancing integrity and corruption is made so much more difficult when you can see them working in yourself in others. You feel responsible because you are aware. I was distraught when I first scored infj, but now I'm just troubled. It's like the more explanations I read and watch, the more the whole idea resonates with me. And I don't know whether to be excited for being understood, or worried about the path ahead of me. It's long, sometimes dark, and lonely road.
hang in there