I love this quote from Rumi - "When I run after what I think I want, my days are a furnace of stress and anxiety; if I sit in my own place of patience, what I need flows to me, and without pain. From this I understand that what I want also wants me, is looking for me and attracting me. There is a great secret here for anyone who can grasp it"
That’s a great quote. This reminds me of some lessons I’ve learned on RUclips explaining that life is about relationships and you have a relationship with every single thing in your life including material objects. We all know someone where money seems to run from them or women or they even always have bad luck, etc. It’s because they have a negative relationship with these specific things based on their attitude, thinking and actions towards those specific things. I’ve found in my own life that in strange ways you can borrow the mentality you have with your successful relationships and apply that mentality to say money, luck, or anything in your life because I’ve found everything to be universal. It’s a spiritual principle but I’ve found it to be effective in my life!
This is how I found my wife. I spent my teenage years trying desperately to find someone, but that was too much pressure to put on a new relationship. Once I focused on being a good person, and finding good people, she naturally came into my life and we naturally found each other.
That's litterally the movie Shrek. Shrek was like 35 years old, lived in a bachelor pad swamp, and then one day all of a sudden he met his best friend and then his wife all within a couple of days - all while just being himself.
I don't believe that the less is better. Throughout uni I didn't try. Left uni with 0 friends. You do have to make an effort. Now I'm actively trying, and I'm talking to new people all the time.
If I hadn't actually WORKED on all of my goals over the decades, I'd never have achieved any of them. My actions have brought me great joy! 😁 Sorry, but the whole "do nothing, and it'll all be cool" is just a catchphrase for lazy people who want things to automatically work out with no effort invested. And although one can convince themselves that they're "happy" merely by doing nothing, if any results are achieved under such conditions, it's all entirely by LUCK.
@@Novastar.SaberCombati think what you write is not against what is described. Set goals, work, create and get better etc. Thats the way in life. Just dont make the mistske to think … i need to reach this or that in order to feel happy etc. But as i said, work itself is very essential.
So if we keep our minds on wondering why there’s wars, why theirs disease, why why why as reported in the news and such things, the less happy the world is🤔 all news and so called is distraction from true happiness
@@Novastar.SaberCombat incorrect. You missed the point. It’s not saying to ignore your responsibilities or stop trying to achieve your goals. It’s saying that you should stop chasing happiness and assuming “if I do XYZ then I’ll be happy….if I do ABC I’ll be happy… if I…” there’s a cycle we all get caught in where we think something will make us happy and when we get it we’re onto the next thing, wishing, wanting, as if we didn’t just achieve what we always said would make us happy. The point isn’t to actually stop doing things in life, it’s to be grateful and present for what you have now. Have goals, but don’t think they’ll solve all your problems basically
Being in constant pain since 3 years Made me realize how happy my life was back then. Enjoy your life as much as possible and be gratefull for what you have, dont take your health for granted! Money, Status, career dont mean anything when you're Not healthy! Brothers and Sisters plz pray for me.
As Mark Manson says “The pursuit of a negative experience is in itself a positive experience. The pursuit of a positive experience is in itself negative experience.”
i'm so stuck in unhappiness than i feel like i want to puke a little more after reading any comment... I might look for hapiness till i loose any hope. I know i could, since i already did it once. Lets see each other on the other side
Sometimes in life, we have to go with the flow of things, instead of chasing and trying to force things. I had a friend who wanted to become a successful RUclipsr and RUclips became all he focused on, releasing high quality videos everyday with the goal of making it by 2023 but before 2022 ended he got burnt out and quit. There's nothing wrong with working hard, I want to become a successful self improvement RUclipsr like my friend but I learned, I can't try to force and expect it to happen within a certain amount of time and just let it happen when it happens
"becoming a succesful RUclipsr" isn't something you can let happen to you. For that, you need to work, hard. When working hard, it will partially be luck as to whether you become succesful or not. That may count as 'letting' it happen, but it cannot manifest without working towards it. So, him getting burnt-out doesn't conclude to not working at all. It should conclude to understanding boundaries.
Balance. I understand this bc it’s how I am. When I have a goal, I become relentless but I’ve slowly learned to release control. Through the years I’ve begun to “go with the flow” and surrender and it’s done so much good in my life.
I'm reading this man's books. You would never believe the personal struggles he has gone through to get to the point of making these astonishing, profound, and practical videos! This is the second channel on YT that has been life-changing for me. That is why, unlike some cynics, I don't relate to YT as "social media" but as education and inspiration.
"The desire for more positive experience is a negative experience and paradoxically, the acceptance of negative experience is a positive experience itself"
*I SUFFERED LONG COVID FOR 2 YEARS* in just - very depressed - I decided I could either be miserable and in pain OR happy and in pain When I decided to ignore the pain and be happy - the pain diminished 80%
Based on my life experience, I KNOW this is true! I can think of countless examples in my life where this was the case. My best memories came from not pursuing happiness but kind of just letting things happen without pressure or expectation. You can have a desire but don’t make it the focal point in your mind at all times or the pressure to obtain it will increase simultaneously pushing it away from you. I’ve tested this so many times and it always happens the same!
I sought happiness when younger and settled on Buddhism as the way and means. Not just to meditate but also to change my mind by deciding when thinking negative thoughts to STOP. Then to decide to think positive thoughts instead. It took some years of practice but eventually I found myself happy. To actively decide to not think negative thoughts does at some point end in happiness.
Love this! I recognize that a negative thought has entered my head, acknowledge it, and let it go, replacing it with a more positive version. It's become much easier and faster. It's not that I think LESS negative thoughts, I just spend much less time thinking them, and much more time being kind to myself.
There's so much wisdom to doing that. When I was younger I spent years in unnecessary misery because I refused to even believe that I could stop thinking negatively. I thought that was something you had no choice over, that you just needed to accept your thoughts as truth. Now I see that you can simply decide "that's enough" and stop, then reorient yourself toward positive thoughts. It's such a wonderful blessing to have this choice.
Rarely is the thing you're chasing worth it in the end. You have to be able to make yourself happy and not expect anything or anyone outside yourself to do it for you all the time. Too many people are expecting something that's never going to come and after a certain time passes they can't deal with it anymore and snap!
It is so true. I was helping Cuban veterinarians fight homelessness of animals for seven years. I was just elated with each of their successes. It was the happiest time of my life.
Thanks for your work, I'm Cuban myself and I know the situation of animals living on the streets of Cuba, it's awesome that you used your time for that cause..
I did a once in a life time trip with my wife to Bora Bora last year and stayed in a 5 star resort. I could tell there were couples there who were quite used to traveling that way. I told my wife that I feel blessed that I’m not rich and that I won’t be able to afford this trip again in my lifetime because the pleasure of the experience was that much more
Here’s a simpler solution - distinguish between trying to be happy and happiest. If you’re always wanting to be happiest then of course it’s a tough precedent to live up to, but if you’re always wanting to just be happy then you choose to see the upside of every small thing and your mindset is opposed to being pessimistic or inclined towards despair, whereas gratefulness becomes easier regardless of the situation.
“ Happiness should not be Pursued - it must Ensue .. !! “ ... How true. Why waste my days chasing happiness, it’s fickle. Contentment, a Quiet life and living uncluttered seems a good start to happiness.
Have finished reading Stoicism for Inner Peace, and currently with Unoffendable in my hands. It is astonishing how the Stoics teach us something so profound yet so simple, but it would probably take years to master. Thank you for sharing this, I hope you continue to inspire us.
For the last four years i've subscribed more to the 'master your own fate' philosophy. But i find it burning me out and i have a mental break down every other day, so watching this and some of your other videos has really helped me find some inner peace. Like you said, i'll still set goals, but i'm now a little bit more mindful of accepting the is-ness of life. Thanks again Einzelganger.
One of my best friend told me "The best thing I got out of self development was to learn to get out of self development." It's great to learn stuff about ourselves and do some soul searching. But we became narcissists. Everything is about us, and the fulfilment of our desires. We need to be pretty, intelligent and wealthy. Capitalism centered around self development and spirituality created this counter intuitive belief that we need to be better and in turn be someone we're not. When we're always chasing the next big goal, we're always doing things instead of being. When doing, achievement and becoming get more attention and value than being, we can only be stressed. Coaches and "masters" are selling success and happiness. Most of them only have our best interests on a surface level. For me I found that the truth about my existence is that I'm imperfect. I will fail and make mistakes. Things will never always go my way, no matter how much control and willpower I have. But life is beautiful. If we stop to look, hear and feel, happiness is already here. If we start loving ourselves and accepting our very short existence, we start feeling happiness from a deep and profound place.
Perfectly explained. Most good things come when you're least expecting them. Whenever you seek the opposite happens, the more effort the lower the rewards Seeking is the opposite of happiness because happiness isn't an object you can touch or see or hear. It comes naturally when it is ready and conditions are right, not when it is asked or begged for or chased after.
Most bad things also come when you least expect it. You cannot seek happiness but you can seek to improve your life situation and if you successful(per your own standards!), then happiness comes as a natural side effect.
Effort is required in order to achieve results. End of story. If anything occurs while someone is "doing nothing" then it was purely by LUCK and nothing more. If you don't DO something, whatever occurs was not influenced by you. End of story. 💪😎✌️ 🐲✨🐲✨🐲✨
This is a famous saying from the ancient Indian scripture: "You don't run after pain, still you get it. Similarly, do should not run after happiness and you will get it too"✌️😲 But you should remain situated on a transcendental platform aloof from the duality of this world (both the distress and the happiness).😮❤
I'm going through a rough introspection and this gave me hope and pointed towards a nice way. "Searching is the antithesis of happiness" / That hit the spot
This guy has got to be single-handedly the most pivotal, integral, thought-provoking and inspiring person in my life. Keep up the good work, Einzelgänger. Your videos are amazing, but this one, this one tops the lot. I seriously believe a corner has been turned in my life thanks to these 12 minutes.
Thanks! I am gaining so much knowledge from your content and your voice is relaxing. I’ve been in recovery for 6 years for alcoholism. Your channel is just… unbelievably good. Thank you!
The problem is people seek happiness when it is peace that should be searched for instead. Happiness is a fleeting emotion and should be experienced when it happens but you can’t search for a feeling. Just like how you can’t make yourself sad on purpose it happens naturally when you don’t watch your thoughts.
I feel the reason why we feel more sad is because we try to surpass or ignore our feelings. We need to understand them. Not thinking about then is not a solution cause you are feeling certain way and it is not possible to ignore it. It is actually by feeling and understanding it that it will stop make you sad
Starting early is the best way of getting ahead to build wealth, investing remains a priority. The stock market has plenty of opportunities to earn a decent payouts, with the right skills and proper understanding of how the market works.
I think is not about pursing a goal that makes it elusive, I think is the focus on your current state compare to the goal that makes you focus on the bad things that makes you in the same state. You will only accomplish things you think you can accomplish it, and you behave as you can accomplish.
Wow, amazing how it relates directly to being grateful in life, be grateful for whatever you have, I guess this will make you somewhat stop seeking for happiness which you might already have but you don’t know it. Ultimately the gratitude will actually bring the happiness to you.
The trip leading to happiness happened for me. I traveled out of the country to a place I recently became interested in and miraculously, knowing someone, lead to the opportunity of going and having a place to stay. When I got there I was pretty drained and unethused. Throughout the trip I was depressed but still tried to make the best of it. Idk why I immediately felt homesick or didn't attain hardly a glimpse of happiness even though I wanted the experience of going out of the country. I did make a friend out of the experience and made some great memories.
So, by actually doing something, you learned something. That is definitely more than doing nothing. Doing nothing can achieve nothing; not even happiness. 🐲✨🐲✨🐲✨
My comment pertains to the end of the video. Whever I have had extra income, if I bought stuff, I often had buyer's remorse. I have never had helper's remorse if I used the money to help someone. 💗
Happiness is what we are, not what we do. You can notice it from your childhood memory. When we were a child it didn’t matter what would happen, everything, everyday seemed so interesting and wonderful (or full of wonder). Because of social conditioning, we forgot what happiness is.
Thank you for putting your time, thought, effort and energy into this! Your contribution is valuable in making wisdom accessible. I wish you all the best - and please: Keep it up! Thank you again.
"Happiness is just a byproduct" I came to the exact same conclusion a few months ago through journaling! I'm so surprised when you said that and frankly, that brings me happiness XD~ Thanks for the video!
It was by accident I have discovered your channel on RUclips and by far it's been the best thing that ever happened. I love your contents and writings dude keep up your amazing work. 👏
As an old friend once told me “If you aim for the floor, you will never miss” Of course he was talking about dating unattractive women but the lesson is still there lol
It’s like, if you search for fitness, you’ll never find it as it doesn’t exist as a thing you can grab hold of. But if you focus on exercising/ working hard, (without being over-concerned with the results), fitness will come to you.
I respect high goals but when I don't reach them I just get excited about what I did and take what i learnt for next time. I never chase happiness but I chase goals.
I love how thought provoking your videos are it’s helped me get a better understanding of my own mental Well-being. Keep up the good work. Happy new year
i have watched nearly all of your videos and had yet to designate a favorite as i am grateful for them all but THIS one is my favorite. it's like hearing a song that i know was made just for me. thank you for all the videos you make. yours is my favorite you tube channel by far. also ordered the book you mention at the end and am looking forward to it as i also bought stoicism for inner peace. again, grateful for your presence.
Ohhh this is why I'm so happy despite everything that happens, I never thought to try and pursue it? I just live and it's here, even as bad as my life has been.
Stoicism is so much better than Buddhism. All the hard work has been done for you and you can forgive yourself as easy as you would like to forgive others. 👍
I don't know what happiness means to be honest. Is it spending time with friends and share a good meal ? Is it to raise a child ? Is it a romantic relationship ? Is it winning the lottery ? I believe that people mistake happiness with the experience itself. All that is an experience and there's no happiness to expect out of It. It's fleeting anyway and won't last. The only way to feel happy is to feel your eternal presence that will never die and abide within. All the rest is illusory.
A really wise video, from a really wise man. I love your content! Keep it up, as a goal, and be happy to make other humans feel better! , as a by-product of course!
This is a very dangerous statement, said like this, people would think that you need to do nothing to be happy, but if you do nothing, nothing will happen to you, unless you are a bastard that got genetically lucky and needs to be purged because they don't deserve anything they have as they NEVER worked for anything or suffered like others that are WAY more deserving than those tyrants.
Many thanks for your content! Your videos are like an old friend during high and low times in my life. Very therapeutical. Best regards from Lithuania;)
This is how I found my husband. I was desperately searching for someone like him and suffered teribly. When I let go of that deșire and felt trusting în whatever comes. My husband appeared 2 weeks later into my life with incredible syncronicities.
7:30 "The act of monitoring a hedonic experience interferes with that experience."💯 Try eating something or engaging in any other act of the senses while thinking about it, and wow, is the experience muted. Didn't know it was called meta-emotions, tho. Thanks!🎋
Excellent! My only caveat is that there are studies that show people intentionally trying to be happy, by certain methods (e.g., gratitude or savoring) do actually become more happy, at least for the time being. So to some degree, you can "pursue happiness" without having it backfire on you. But I think your more general points are strong, and I was not aware of the study you cited. Thanks.
"Happiness is like a beautiful garden; it is the effort of digging in the soil, sowing of seeds, weeding, watering and fertilizing, plus the ongoing maintenance, that enables us to enjoy the beauty." Vita, Duchess De Boheme.
My interpretation of stop chasing / seeking is to transcend your goals. I started seeking things that are more complete or difficult than my old goals, and thus would reach my old goals in the process. For example, mike Tyson’s defense was so spectacular because he was constantly setting up and looking for openings for a counter, thus inadvertently creating an amazing defense.
Once you understand that happiness for us is an (future) ideal and that an ideal can not be reached you might get that this striving can only lead to pain.
Only thing that works for me is remembering that Allah doesn’t burden a soul beyond what it can bear. God is always with the patient. He put you in the situation, The All Powerful will help you get out so don’t worry so much if you believe.
This is a damn good video. If anyone wants a lot (as in 3 videos over 3 hours) of extra content on Happiness I highlessly recommend Will Schoder's Happiness series using emotional state theory as a guide.
Happiness to me is a state of harmony or balance. Like many notes coming together to produce a beautiful song. Each of us needs things/notes that add up to a state of happiness. Seems to be the way of nature.
When I was depressed ,I used to listen to your these vedios. This make me something satisfied and make clarity in my life .I thought how these philosophy was soothing my brain? And aslo I thought the people who wrote philosophy were they also depressed.?
So simple but not easy. I work on it often, fail frequently but continue to keep it in my aim. Do not chase or expect, just do what's right by my instinct. Rinse and repeat.
why you can’t change 1) change your environment, don’t be stuck where you can’t grow 2) no pity party, DO SOMETHING TO INACT CHANGE 3) remove toxic situations; get out of survival mode or find support groups; find a third place 4) prioritize yourself (health, mentality, etc); find ways to practice peace 5) step out of your COMFORT ZONE; it ends w me 6) focus on habits to ACHIEVE GOALS (map out goals and ways to get there) 7) PUSH THROUGH; if it’s hard, it is supposed to be when you are going through change; don’t quit 8) take accountability for how you hurt yourself and think “how good can life get” 9) SEEK KNOWLEDGE, listen to what can help you evolve, skip the BS 10) stop the comparison, regular life can be enough for you notes: be grateful; you are deserving of what comes to you! God bestowed this for you to achieve. LETS BREAK THE MENTAL RESISTANCE
![6ix9ine - El Preso (feat. Lenier) [Official Music Video]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/RQvGgosdeO8/mqdefault.jpg)
I love this quote from Rumi - "When I run after what I think I want, my days are a furnace of stress and anxiety; if I sit in my own place of patience, what I need flows to me, and without pain. From this I understand that what I want also wants me, is looking for me and attracting me. There is a great secret here for anyone who can grasp it"
you have song about rumi form serj tankian if you dindt listen
@@petermarkstone5702 I love Serj Tankian, will def check it out. Thanks!
If you don't go after what think you want, you are gonna sit for a long time, and die having done nothing.
What’s the title of the song?
That’s a great quote. This reminds me of some lessons I’ve learned on RUclips explaining that life is about relationships and you have a relationship with every single thing in your life including material objects. We all know someone where money seems to run from them or women or they even always have bad luck, etc. It’s because they have a negative relationship with these specific things based on their attitude, thinking and actions towards those specific things. I’ve found in my own life that in strange ways you can borrow the mentality you have with your successful relationships and apply that mentality to say money, luck, or anything in your life because I’ve found everything to be universal. It’s a spiritual principle but I’ve found it to be effective in my life!
This is how I found my wife. I spent my teenage years trying desperately to find someone, but that was too much pressure to put on a new relationship. Once I focused on being a good person, and finding good people, she naturally came into my life and we naturally found each other.
I needed to hear this. I'm 30 and always trying to "find her". This year, I'm stopping. Just going to live my daily life and let it be.
I hope it works like this for me one day
That's litterally the movie Shrek. Shrek was like 35 years old, lived in a bachelor pad swamp, and then one day all of a sudden he met his best friend and then his wife all within a couple of days - all while just being himself.
I don't believe that the less is better. Throughout uni I didn't try. Left uni with 0 friends. You do have to make an effort. Now I'm actively trying, and I'm talking to new people all the time.
Same..we naturally click..meet in an unexpected way..
But man I feel like the timing isn't right and now she's slipping away from me .... I'm afraid
"If you seek it, you won't find it, because seeking is the antithesis of happiness."
If I hadn't actually WORKED on all of my goals over the decades, I'd never have achieved any of them. My actions have brought me great joy! 😁
Sorry, but the whole "do nothing, and it'll all be cool" is just a catchphrase for lazy people who want things to automatically work out with no effort invested. And although one can convince themselves that they're "happy" merely by doing nothing, if any results are achieved under such conditions, it's all entirely by LUCK.
@@Novastar.SaberCombat Agree, we should always strive to achieve our goals. More efforts, more achievements.
@@Novastar.SaberCombati think what you write is not against what is described.
Set goals, work, create and get better etc. Thats the way in life.
Just dont make the mistske to think … i need to reach this or that in order to feel happy etc.
But as i said, work itself is very essential.
So if we keep our minds on wondering why there’s wars, why theirs disease, why why why as reported in the news and such things, the less happy the world is🤔 all news and so called is distraction from true happiness
@@Novastar.SaberCombat incorrect. You missed the point. It’s not saying to ignore your responsibilities or stop trying to achieve your goals. It’s saying that you should stop chasing happiness and assuming “if I do XYZ then I’ll be happy….if I do ABC I’ll be happy… if I…” there’s a cycle we all get caught in where we think something will make us happy and when we get it we’re onto the next thing, wishing, wanting, as if we didn’t just achieve what we always said would make us happy. The point isn’t to actually stop doing things in life, it’s to be grateful and present for what you have now. Have goals, but don’t think they’ll solve all your problems basically
"You have enough. You are enough." I think everyone needs to hear that
Did that appear in the video? I might missed that, sounds awesome!
"You have enough. You are enough." thanks i will also add "but the universe has great things and gifts for you"
one day you die nothing will matter, possitive nihilism, enough or not
Most likely this is coming from someone who has never experienced war, famine, poverty, or any other hardship.
Look for Thich Nhat Hahn calligraphy. I have a printed one who says exactly that. _ / \ _
Being in constant pain since 3 years Made me realize how happy my life was back then. Enjoy your life as much as possible and be gratefull for what you have, dont take your health for granted! Money, Status, career dont mean anything when you're Not healthy!
Brothers and Sisters plz pray for me.
🙏🙏
@@doseofchill Thank you!
Oh, I may be in the same boat as you, so I am glad that you, like me, are still alive
How are you in pain ?
I will pray for you.
This is by far the single greatest piece of advice for living a happy life.
As Mark Manson says “The pursuit of a negative experience is in itself a positive experience. The pursuit of a positive experience is in itself negative experience.”
It's a great piece of advice for living a boring life. This is just coping with not being able to achieve more and satisfy yourself lol.
I agree!
So true
i'm so stuck in unhappiness than i feel like i want to puke a little more after reading any comment... I might look for hapiness till i loose any hope. I know i could, since i already did it once. Lets see each other on the other side
Sometimes in life, we have to go with the flow of things, instead of chasing and trying to force things.
I had a friend who wanted to become a successful RUclipsr and RUclips became all he focused on, releasing high quality videos everyday with the goal of making it by 2023 but before 2022 ended he got burnt out and quit.
There's nothing wrong with working hard, I want to become a successful self improvement RUclipsr like my friend but I learned, I can't try to force and expect it to happen within a certain amount of time and just let it happen when it happens
let it be
"becoming a succesful RUclipsr" isn't something you can let happen to you. For that, you need to work, hard. When working hard, it will partially be luck as to whether you become succesful or not. That may count as 'letting' it happen, but it cannot manifest without working towards it. So, him getting burnt-out doesn't conclude to not working at all. It should conclude to understanding boundaries.
Balance. I understand this bc it’s how I am. When I have a goal, I become relentless but I’ve slowly learned to release control. Through the years I’ve begun to “go with the flow” and surrender and it’s done so much good in my life.
I'm reading this man's books. You would never believe the personal struggles he has gone through to get to the point of making these astonishing, profound, and practical videos! This is the second channel on YT that has been life-changing for me. That is why, unlike some cynics, I don't relate to YT as "social media" but as education and inspiration.
Which was the other life changing channel?
I ordered 2 of his books today. I can’t wait to get them!
I have his Stoicism book and I absolutely love it and will be buying his other books as well.
@@estebanc-vistaprevia2941 wondering the same thing
This channel is one of the best on YT. HIs latest book is excellent as well.
"The desire for more positive experience is a negative experience and paradoxically, the acceptance of negative experience is a positive experience itself"
My cure for depression is gratitude. I look at that which I take for granted, and Express gratitude for it.
Before long I just feel better.
*I SUFFERED LONG COVID FOR 2 YEARS* in just - very depressed - I decided I could either be miserable and in pain OR happy and in pain
When I decided to ignore the pain and be happy - the pain diminished 80%
bs
Pleasure impulses travel faster than pain ones in your body, that is reason. Pain is blocked
I want to let you know you’re so brave! It is the worst to experience to feel our body not coordinating with us. I really wish you happy life❤️
We must all learn to give without expecting anything in return and we must learn to receive without expectation.
Based on my life experience, I KNOW this is true! I can think of countless examples in my life where this was the case. My best memories came from not pursuing happiness but kind of just letting things happen without pressure or expectation. You can have a desire but don’t make it the focal point in your mind at all times or the pressure to obtain it will increase simultaneously pushing it away from you. I’ve tested this so many times and it always happens the same!
it's quite unfair though (towards them who try hard)
Brother can you elaborate this subject for me please, I am desperately looking for a girl and a loving relationship, what can I do brother ?
Its like a set it and forget mindset
@@ab_still_unstoppable waryaa waryaa stay strong man
Works this way with people too
True Happiness is letting go of your IDEAS of what Happiness is. Just like you can't THINK your way out of Problem Because The Problem is Thinking.
Happiness depends on our ability to appreciate good things and accept bad things in life.
I sought happiness when younger and settled on Buddhism as the way and means. Not just to meditate but also to change my mind by deciding when thinking negative thoughts to STOP. Then to decide to think positive thoughts instead. It took some years of practice but eventually I found myself happy. To actively decide to not think negative thoughts does at some point end in happiness.
Love this! I recognize that a negative thought has entered my head, acknowledge it, and let it go, replacing it with a more positive version. It's become much easier and faster. It's not that I think LESS negative thoughts, I just spend much less time thinking them, and much more time being kind to myself.
There's so much wisdom to doing that. When I was younger I spent years in unnecessary misery because I refused to even believe that I could stop thinking negatively. I thought that was something you had no choice over, that you just needed to accept your thoughts as truth. Now I see that you can simply decide "that's enough" and stop, then reorient yourself toward positive thoughts. It's such a wonderful blessing to have this choice.
Once you understand happiness is a result, the more it makes sense. Thanks for another great video. Ordering your new book now.
Rarely is the thing you're chasing worth it in the end. You have to be able to make yourself happy and not expect anything or anyone outside yourself to do it for you all the time. Too many people are expecting something that's never going to come and after a certain time passes they can't deal with it anymore and snap!
Sounds like me
Uhhh but what to do if you don't even know what to chase? Like no goal? No direction? Nothing?
It is so true. I was helping Cuban veterinarians fight homelessness of animals for seven years. I was just elated with each of their successes. It was the happiest time of my life.
Thanks for your work, I'm Cuban myself and I know the situation of animals living on the streets of Cuba, it's awesome that you used your time for that cause..
That's just cool. Kudos to you! : )
I did a once in a life time trip with my wife to Bora Bora last year and stayed in a 5 star resort. I could tell there were couples there who were quite used to traveling that way. I told my wife that I feel blessed that I’m not rich and that I won’t be able to afford this trip again in my lifetime because the pleasure of the experience was that much more
Here’s a simpler solution - distinguish between trying to be happy and happiest. If you’re always wanting to be happiest then of course it’s a tough precedent to live up to, but if you’re always wanting to just be happy then you choose to see the upside of every small thing and your mindset is opposed to being pessimistic or inclined towards despair, whereas gratefulness becomes easier regardless of the situation.
“ Happiness should not be Pursued - it must Ensue .. !! “ ... How true. Why waste my days chasing happiness, it’s fickle. Contentment, a Quiet life and living uncluttered seems a good start to happiness.
Reminds me of times when I need a thing and I cannot find it no matter what. But when I don't need it I'll just randomly see it there
I ordered the books of einzelgänger and I can’t describe how much it changed my life only by few pages
Have finished reading Stoicism for Inner Peace, and currently with Unoffendable in my hands. It is astonishing how the Stoics teach us something so profound yet so simple, but it would probably take years to master. Thank you for sharing this, I hope you continue to inspire us.
Unoffendable is a wonderful book! Brant Hansen definitely left an impact with that one
For the last four years i've subscribed more to the 'master your own fate' philosophy. But i find it burning me out and i have a mental break down every other day, so watching this and some of your other videos has really helped me find some inner peace. Like you said, i'll still set goals, but i'm now a little bit more mindful of accepting the is-ness of life. Thanks again Einzelganger.
Maybe Read Florence Scovel Shinn . listen to a audiobook.
Exactly. It's a fine line with this stuff. We want some awareness, but without dropping into obsession.
One of my best friend told me "The best thing I got out of self development was to learn to get out of self development."
It's great to learn stuff about ourselves and do some soul searching. But we became narcissists. Everything is about us, and the fulfilment of our desires. We need to be pretty, intelligent and wealthy. Capitalism centered around self development and spirituality created this counter intuitive belief that we need to be better and in turn be someone we're not.
When we're always chasing the next big goal, we're always doing things instead of being. When doing, achievement and becoming get more attention and value than being, we can only be stressed.
Coaches and "masters" are selling success and happiness. Most of them only have our best interests on a surface level.
For me I found that the truth about my existence is that I'm imperfect. I will fail and make mistakes. Things will never always go my way, no matter how much control and willpower I have. But life is beautiful. If we stop to look, hear and feel, happiness is already here. If we start loving ourselves and accepting our very short existence, we start feeling happiness from a deep and profound place.
Perfectly explained. Most good things come when you're least expecting them. Whenever you seek the opposite happens, the more effort the lower the rewards
Seeking is the opposite of happiness because happiness isn't an object you can touch or see or hear. It comes naturally when it is ready and conditions are right, not when it is asked or begged for or chased after.
Most bad things also come when you least expect it. You cannot seek happiness but you can seek to improve your life situation and if you successful(per your own standards!), then happiness comes as a natural side effect.
Effort is required in order to achieve results. End of story.
If anything occurs while someone is "doing nothing" then it was purely by LUCK and nothing more. If you don't DO something, whatever occurs was not influenced by you. End of story. 💪😎✌️
🐲✨🐲✨🐲✨
thanks for enriching my life with all this wisdom. long-time fan ✌️
This is one of your best pieces of advice ever
This is a famous saying from the ancient Indian scripture: "You don't run after pain, still you get it. Similarly, do should not run after happiness and you will get it too"✌️😲
But you should remain situated on a transcendental platform aloof from the duality of this world (both the distress and the happiness).😮❤
I'm going through a rough introspection and this gave me hope and pointed towards a nice way. "Searching is the antithesis of happiness" / That hit the spot
This guy has got to be single-handedly the most pivotal, integral, thought-provoking and inspiring person in my life. Keep up the good work, Einzelgänger. Your videos are amazing, but this one, this one tops the lot. I seriously believe a corner has been turned in my life thanks to these 12 minutes.
Thanks! I am gaining so much knowledge from your content and your voice is relaxing. I’ve been in recovery for 6 years for alcoholism. Your channel is just… unbelievably good. Thank you!
Blessings follow you
Hi, Heather! Thank you for your SuperThanks and compliment. Very much appreciated! I wish you strength in your journey away from alcoholism.
The problem is people seek happiness when it is peace that should be searched for instead. Happiness is a fleeting emotion and should be experienced when it happens but you can’t search for a feeling. Just like how you can’t make yourself sad on purpose it happens naturally when you don’t watch your thoughts.
I feel the reason why we feel more sad is because we try to surpass or ignore our feelings. We need to understand them. Not thinking about then is not a solution cause you are feeling certain way and it is not possible to ignore it. It is actually by feeling and understanding it that it will stop make you sad
Happiness is a choice. Choose wisely.
Starting early is the best way of getting ahead to build wealth, investing remains a priority. The stock market has plenty of opportunities to earn a decent payouts, with the right skills and proper understanding of how the market works.
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“Wise is the one who does not seek
The seeker will find in all things
The abyss, and doubt in himself.” - Ricardo Reis
No weapon is the best weapon.
I doubt, therefore I think, therefore I am. . .
confused
I think is not about pursing a goal that makes it elusive, I think is the focus on your current state compare to the goal that makes you focus on the bad things that makes you in the same state.
You will only accomplish things you think you can accomplish it, and you behave as you can accomplish.
Wow, amazing how it relates directly to being grateful in life, be grateful for whatever you have, I guess this will make you somewhat stop seeking for happiness which you might already have but you don’t know it. Ultimately the gratitude will actually bring the happiness to you.
The trip leading to happiness happened for me. I traveled out of the country to a place I recently became interested in and miraculously, knowing someone, lead to the opportunity of going and having a place to stay. When I got there I was pretty drained and unethused. Throughout the trip I was depressed but still tried to make the best of it. Idk why I immediately felt homesick or didn't attain hardly a glimpse of happiness even though I wanted the experience of going out of the country. I did make a friend out of the experience and made some great memories.
So, by actually doing something, you learned something. That is definitely more than doing nothing. Doing nothing can achieve nothing; not even happiness.
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My comment pertains to the end of the video. Whever I have had extra income, if I bought stuff, I often had buyer's remorse. I have never had helper's remorse if I used the money to help someone. 💗
Happiness is what we are, not what we do. You can notice it from your childhood memory. When we were a child it didn’t matter what would happen, everything, everyday seemed so interesting and wonderful (or full of wonder). Because of social conditioning, we forgot what happiness is.
Thank you for putting your time, thought, effort and energy into this! Your contribution is valuable in making wisdom accessible. I wish you all the best - and please: Keep it up! Thank you again.
"Happiness is just a byproduct" I came to the exact same conclusion a few months ago through journaling! I'm so surprised when you said that and frankly, that brings me happiness XD~ Thanks for the video!
It was by accident I have discovered your channel on RUclips and by far it's been the best thing that ever happened. I love your contents and writings dude keep up your amazing work. 👏
same
Good things happen when you don't seek it😄
As an old friend once told me “If you aim for the floor, you will never miss” Of course he was talking about dating unattractive women but the lesson is still there lol
focusing on living virtously. Thank you einzelganger. happy new year my friend.
Be happy with being content. When opportunity comes around reach out to it. Understand right time and place for everything.
This is literally what Bhagwat Geeta has been telling us since thousands of years, years before these people.
Anything you pursue, you don’t have. Happiness is a mindset 🤷🏻♀️
Perfect summary of my own experiences and what I have learnt till now in Life!! ❤️👌💯✨
It’s like, if you search for fitness, you’ll never find it as it doesn’t exist as a thing you can grab hold of. But if you focus on exercising/ working hard, (without being over-concerned with the results), fitness will come to you.
I respect high goals but when I don't reach them I just get excited about what I did and take what i learnt for next time. I never chase happiness but I chase goals.
Love this!
I love how thought provoking your videos are it’s helped me get a better understanding of my own mental
Well-being. Keep up the good work. Happy new year
Thought provoking ? Vs thought prevailing ?
@@jass9571 just fixed the typo
Your videos are so helpful! Thanks for sharing your thoughts! ♡
Thank you and you're welcome, Annya!
Happiness comes fleetingly now and then to those that have learned to do without it, and to them alone.
i have watched nearly all of your videos and had yet to designate a favorite as i am grateful for them all but THIS one is my favorite. it's like hearing a song that i know was made just for me. thank you for all the videos you make. yours is my favorite you tube channel by far. also ordered the book you mention at the end and am looking forward to it as i also bought stoicism for inner peace. again, grateful for your presence.
Ohhh this is why I'm so happy despite everything that happens, I never thought to try and pursue it? I just live and it's here, even as bad as my life has been.
Thankful to this channel, saving my life.
This is like when you tried to fight the current but it becomes harder so instead just go with the current and you'll find a way out that way.
One of those feelings that is there unconsciously but hard to explain. Thank you for your vids
I love your content. Is there any chance of an audiobook? I'd definitely buy a copy if you did one.
Studies show those that do not have high expectations are happier than those that do have high expectations.
As a Buddhist I found this delightful. Profoundly paradoxical.
Stoicism is so much better than Buddhism. All the hard work has been done for you and you can forgive yourself as easy as you would like to forgive others. 👍
I don't know what happiness means to be honest. Is it spending time with friends and share a good meal ? Is it to raise a child ? Is it a romantic relationship ? Is it winning the lottery ? I believe that people mistake happiness with the experience itself. All that is an experience and there's no happiness to expect out of It. It's fleeting anyway and won't last. The only way to feel happy is to feel your eternal presence that will never die and abide within. All the rest is illusory.
A really wise video, from a really wise man. I love your content! Keep it up, as a goal, and be happy to make other humans feel better! , as a by-product of course!
This is a very dangerous statement, said like this, people would think that you need to do nothing to be happy, but if you do nothing, nothing will happen to you, unless you are a bastard that got genetically lucky and needs to be purged because they don't deserve anything they have as they NEVER worked for anything or suffered like others that are WAY more deserving than those tyrants.
Thank you for this video💜 This channel is treasure of thoughts 🌟
Many thanks for your content! Your videos are like an old friend during high and low times in my life. Very therapeutical. Best regards from Lithuania;)
This is how I found my husband. I was desperately searching for someone like him and suffered teribly. When I let go of that deșire and felt trusting în whatever comes. My husband appeared 2 weeks later into my life with incredible syncronicities.
A productive life.. you will become content.
Happens will come. 🙏
One of my favorite positive uplifting channels.
Thank you..!!
I'm on holiday atm, I needed this.
Have you tried prolonged fasting? Five days will make you feel like a new person.
7:30 "The act of monitoring a hedonic experience interferes with that experience."💯 Try eating something or engaging in any other act of the senses while thinking about it, and wow, is the experience muted. Didn't know it was called meta-emotions, tho. Thanks!🎋
Excellent! My only caveat is that there are studies that show people intentionally trying to be happy, by certain methods (e.g., gratitude or savoring) do actually become more happy, at least for the time being. So to some degree, you can "pursue happiness" without having it backfire on you. But I think your more general points are strong, and I was not aware of the study you cited. Thanks.
Thank you!!! I find reason in all your videos. Be well
Happiness is an illusion be a stoic be indifferent numb to life’s ups & downs and stop caring
Always delivering. Thanks.
"Conscious Seeking Implies Not Finding, But Finding Implies No More Seeking."
It's the little things. The small victories. Every little internal battle goes towards winning the external war.
It’s so hard for me to apply this paradox to work. The harder I work on my projects and the more dissatisfied I am, the more I get done.
Must one feel guilt over not doing much for others? I sometimes wonder about this as well.
"Happiness is like a beautiful garden; it is the effort of digging in the soil, sowing of seeds, weeding, watering and fertilizing, plus the ongoing maintenance, that enables us to enjoy the beauty." Vita, Duchess De Boheme.
Love this channel, jump straight into the speech right away without any stupid introduction👍
My interpretation of stop chasing / seeking is to transcend your goals. I started seeking things that are more complete or difficult than my old goals, and thus would reach my old goals in the process. For example, mike Tyson’s defense was so spectacular because he was constantly setting up and looking for openings for a counter, thus inadvertently creating an amazing defense.
Once you understand that happiness for us is an (future) ideal and that an ideal can not be reached you might get that this striving can only lead to pain.
Only thing that works for me is remembering that Allah doesn’t burden a soul beyond what it can bear. God is always with the patient. He put you in the situation, The All Powerful will help you get out so don’t worry so much if you believe.
This is a damn good video. If anyone wants a lot (as in 3 videos over 3 hours) of extra content on Happiness I highlessly recommend Will Schoder's Happiness series using emotional state theory as a guide.
Happiness to me is a state of harmony or balance. Like many notes coming together to produce a beautiful song. Each of us needs things/notes that add up to a state of happiness. Seems to be the way of nature.
Me NOT trying hard to get something I want and then dying feeling unaccomplished and all alone.
All your videos are very helping my life
This man's videos literally changed my life 🪐🪐
When I was depressed ,I used to listen to your these vedios. This make me something satisfied and make clarity in my life .I thought how these philosophy was soothing my brain?
And aslo I thought the people who wrote philosophy were they also depressed.?
If your life isnt miserable, that is happiness.
Mediocre world
RUclips algorithm found this for me without my seeking anything like this
The meaning of life, is the meaning YOU give it!!🤘👍👊❤
This doesn’t work with weight loss. You can’t just stop thinking about weight loss and have it come
So simple but not easy. I work on it often, fail frequently but continue to keep it in my aim. Do not chase or expect, just do what's right by my instinct. Rinse and repeat.
the expectation of happiness IS the happiness itself
why you can’t change
1) change your environment, don’t be stuck where you can’t grow
2) no pity party, DO SOMETHING TO INACT CHANGE
3) remove toxic situations; get out of survival mode or find support groups; find a third place
4) prioritize yourself (health, mentality, etc); find ways to practice peace
5) step out of your COMFORT ZONE; it ends w me
6) focus on habits to ACHIEVE GOALS (map out goals and ways to get there)
7) PUSH THROUGH; if it’s hard, it is supposed to be when you are going through change; don’t quit
8) take accountability for how you hurt yourself and think “how good can life get”
9) SEEK KNOWLEDGE, listen to what can help you evolve, skip the BS
10) stop the comparison, regular life can be enough for you
notes: be grateful; you are deserving of what comes to you! God bestowed this for you to achieve.
LETS BREAK THE MENTAL RESISTANCE