I feel like sex in the church is definitely not talked about enough. It's a huge part of married life as well as a Christian lifestyle and is vital for healthy marriage. Thank you for taking the time to dive into this subject.
Many people are being taught that sex is dirty and shameful but the truth is that is only so when outside of a marriage. Within a marriage, sex is a sacred gift from God for husband and wife to partake as a form of enjoyment as well as for procreation. Sex is not dirty because it is a natural act within marriage and our parents themselves also had sex to bring us into this world. In fact, God wants us to have sex with our spouse as often as we like because we are honouring God for using His beautiful gift of sex to pleasure ourself as well as our spouse. And I feel that instead of telling girls that sex is dirty and shameful, we should teach them that waiting is about exercising self control as well as respecting God and your husband. No man wants his wife to be shared with others because her vagina is not a fitting room for many people to try on. It is solely for the husband to penetrate and make love to his wife because sex makes a woman emotionally closer to the man because her vagina has been penetrated and she will definitely remember it. Christians should embrace sex as something which we ought to be enjoying in a marriage because it is a completely natural act between husband and wife and it completely signifies the two persons being united as one flesh through the penetration of the vagina with the penis as well as the release of semen which is absorbed by the woman to fertilise her egg. And yes, the church needs to talk about sex more often so that it becomes a natural thing for a marriage.
@@kennethfok absolute truth here. Its vital to the marriage. And vital to the Christian walk in marriage. No need to shame or hide the basic fundamentals that God himself created for us to honor him with.
I agree with you. The bible clearly mentions an area where the couple married should come together as one intimately and should separate during “prayer” or the practice of christianity but should come again together regularly because lust can be gain for someone else
I want to change my religion because my girlfriend is Christian and I want to spent my whole my with her. She is running in my blood. She is my heart. Sex is not most important. Love and care is more important. I don't want to love someone in a hundred different ways. I want to spend my life loving someone in a hundred different ways. Please pray for me all of you 🙏 Thank you so much 💓💓🤗
I never understood people's arguments of "you're missing out" when it comes to having multiple sexual partners. I'd rather just have my husband. Sex is sex, it's the emotional intimacy that makes it worthwhile.
There’s actually nothing to miss out. When there’s no past experience, there’s nothing to compare. Nothing is better than husband and wife coming together as a virgin and learning about sex together. And a woman’s vagina is not a fitting room for many penises to enter, but only for that one man who has been united with her to become one flesh. Sex outside of a marriage union is dirty, shameful and a sin. But within a marriage union, it is holy, sacred and desired by God. God said it’s better not to marry. But because of lust and sexual immorality, a man has to take a woman to become one flesh with him in marriage. By becoming one flesh, they are allowed to be naked in front of one another, joining their penis and vagina together and for their sperm and egg to join together for the creation of a new being. Marriage is meant for a man and a woman to be accountable to one another. They bring forth their sexual desires and their spouse tries his/her best to satisfy it. There is no lust within a marriage because husband and wife belong to each other and their thoughts should only be about their spouse.
Because while your right, you forget that deviancy brings physical pleasure. Living in the spirit deprived us of this physical pleasure, and without the spirit ceasing to indulge in physical pleasure is starving yourself, but with no power to overcome. Who would do that?
The husbands Paradise thing. It goes both ways.Husbands or which ever partner is the one coming home. Nothing worst than someone bring home all their problems and making an uncomfortable environment for everyone.
!!Marriage is Sacrificial!! She is coming from her perspective as a wife. What she sees as her responsibility. I can promise you if Kieran made a video on the topic of a Christian husband it would be to please her and make her home/life a paradise. It goes both ways. So yes it is our jobs as woman to make our husbands feel as comforted as possible but it is also there responsibility to do the same. Everyone is listening to only half of what she’s saying.
I would love to hear you & Keiran talk about his role as a father. I see SO MANY women say things like "my husband hasn't ever changed a diaper, is this normal?" Or "my husband plays video games & I don't trust him with the baby." Just curious how you guys tend to delegate things like this? My husband is super helpful with our children even though we have more "typical" household roles.
I'd love to hear about that as well!! I'm not married but looking into the future, I don't think it's okay for a husband not to take a huge part in taking care of the children because, most importantly, it affects the kids who need to feel connected to and loved by both the parents through all 5 love languages but I also think that the way each household goes about parenting should be a discussed topic/plan between the parents since everyone's situation is different (I'm sorry for mentioning my opinion that nobody asked for, I just thought it's an interesting topic to discuss)
I work full time and my husband stays home with our five month old. He's an amazing dad. I hope someday to be a stay at home mom, but for now I'm so thankful I have a capable husband who loves our child.
Sad thing is how we expect men to fulfill all the roles that have been traditional for women but we are not willing to also do the roles that are traditionally only expected for men to do not only in marriage but also before marriage. Sexism is bad for everybody not just us.
Also I feel that it is so important for Moms especially to have open conversations with their daughters to allow them to feel safe in asking questions about sex, thats how my mom raised me and I am so thankfull because Im still saving myself for marriage, but I dont feel as scared and uninformed,💐❤️
Unfortunately, many of the Christians involved in Purity Culture don't teach their kids about sex until just before the wedding day. Sex is a natural, important part of life, and talking about it in age-appropriate ways is healthy. ~ Anastacia in Cleveland
thank you for saying this. I 100% agree. once she went into that I lost interest. a lot of christian values come off incredibly sexist and focused around gender roles and I am just not about it.... marriage is about partnership.. not the woman expected to be a housewife/servant to her husband.
Exactly! I just wrote something like this in the comments before I even finished the video or scrolled through the comments. SO GLAD others felt that was off/odd or dated too
Tbh I'm starting to believe Sarah is incredibly sexist. I understand she believes whatever was forced onto her growing up, but she has daughters and lots of young girls who look up to her. She's basically been saying (on other videos as well) that the woman must do everything in the house and the man just gives orders. This is last video of hers that I'll be watching. Sorry if I sound rude but this upsets me.
I think she said only the wife's part, because usually wife's stay home while man work, not because a wife must do this. There are just so many situations in life you can't talk about in one video, so please don't "judge" her because of that.
@@rekabalogh1228 of course we do not judge her!! We love Sarah for her mind and spirit. Even if she doesn't agree to both sides paradise, we can all do whatever we want in our relationships. It is just nice to remind it as a comment, just not to forget.
I remember doing a study on the word "sex" from the Bible, and anytime "sex" was used the term translated to "sexual immorality" and was often used as a warning (primarily by Paul). "Sex" was never used as a term by the Holy Spirit, but instead the context fell along the lines of "And Adam knew his wife, Eve." The context for sex in God's perspective fell under knowing each other on the deepest and most intimate level. Doing that study really helped my perspective of sex and the right way for sex.
@@lo.fr.8092 If that is so why are women forced to get circumcised and which involves removing the clitoris? Unless that’s a different muslim denomination that does that.
@@laylalayla6630 There is no forcing of FMG in Islam. Also, the entire clitoris is not removed in any case. What you are referring to is a cultural practice, that indeed takes part in some places of the world. Christianity is a religion and not American or British culture. Islam is a relgion. Many many many many different people across the world are Muslim. Just like there are black and white Christians, there are also black and white and all kinds of Muslims. Everyone and anyone can be Muslim. Some people make the mistake and adhere to their cultural practices, which go against Islam sometimes.
I grew up in a very conservative baptist household where sex was absolutely not talked about and it was seen as a very dirty thing.. I had a lot of guilt (even after marriage) about having sex. We have been married almost 7 years and let me tell you.. now that I have read the Bible, prayed about the subject and have found my confidence... Sex is amazing and is absolutely created by God for marriage!
Seriously! I actually don’t listen to podcasts and do not know how you even do that. However I would totally figure it out. I’m old enough to be her mom but seriously she has great content.
"make your home your husbands paradise because it will give you a happy, healthy man, and thats what you want." --this line of thinking frustrates me! i don't think anybody should be responsible for anybody else's happiness and it sets up unrealistic expectations. furthermore, if a man is thinking about going home in a negative light on his way from work, maybe he should ask himself how he let it get that way. these things are not always the woman's fault.
@Eglė Vaitkevičienė this is 2021.. not many women sit their asses at home all day waiting for their man to come home. and the only unanswered questions i see in this thread are the ones in your comment. it's also extremely rude of you to say i need to work on myself; you have no idea who i am or what i do on a daily basis, or what my relationship is even like. i was not attacking sarah, or her family, i was suggesting that what she said and the way she phrased it was upsetting to me. and then you turned around to attack me? i am just sticking up for other women and trying to pave a path for a more equal future. also edit: i have nothing against keeping a clean home. it's the phrasing of "husbands paradise" that i have an issue with. because if you are keeping a clean/tidy home, it will not just be a "husbands paradise" but it will be my "families paradise" and that is all i am trying to get across..
I hear both of you. You have a right to your opinion, but I do want to express that Sarah's didn't upset me (and I am not a SAHM). She was speaking in the context of a stay-at-home wife, and I find that statement not only true for her husband but I bet it would also be true for herself too. To express that we shouldn't be responsible for someone else's happiness is a wrong mentality to have. That isn't the message. It is that we should serve one another. When we do things for each other it brings joy and happiness. That's great that she can do that for him because she has so much extra time. For me, I serve my husband in different ways and vice versa. I believe both are valid and neither view point is wrong, because our circumstances are different. We must understand that. When we do, we're more graceful with ourselves.
@Eglė Vaitkevičienė no one is responsible for for anyone's happiness. Your feelings are your feelings, the only one who's responsible for that is you. That doesn't mean you can't make another person happy, but they, not you, decides how to react. A healthy form of responsibility in relationships depends two healthy people who know how to set boundaries. It's not my job to make my husband happy. I'm not Britney Spears (lol).
I dunno, my husband goes out every day to a job he doesn't like to earn a living for us. He takes the trash out when I ask him and always tells me how beautiful he thinks I am. He makes me very happy and I want to make him happy
What about vice versa? Husbands making a home for the wife to come home to. Since many women are not homemakers anymore, is It the sole responsibility of the wife to make the home a paradise for the husband?
I’m sure she would agree that it is the same for vise versa, but is just speaking on her personal experience! (Even tho she also works, just from home) the main take away is that when your spouse works all day out of your house, you should do everything you can to make your home their favorite place to come home to after the day is done.
It definitely goes both ways! I love the gospel focus on a man and a woman becoming one through marriage. Each has a role to play in the relationship and each marriage will be slightly different. My husband works full time and I stay home. Because of that, we've agreed that daily chores (sweeping, dishes, laundry, tidying up generally) are my responsibility, and he often does the dishes on the weekend. We both work together on other chores like vacuuming and cleaning bathrooms and things. He also makes dinner every night! It's a mutual agreement so neither of us feels taken advantage of or over burdened. So I think making your home a paradise is going to look different for every couple, but the point is that your home is a place that your family wants to be, a safe haven from outside stresses and anxieties.
@@SarahTherese 1 Peter 3:7: "In the same way, you husbands must give honor to your wives. Treat your wife with understanding as you live together. She may be weaker than you are, but she is your equal partner in God's gift of new life. Treat her as you should so your prayers will not be hindered." Love this scripture!
Agreed, this point did not gel well with me. My husband and I both work full time, and I run a business on top of my 9-5. God has us all in different roles, and the traditional “wife stays home and takes care of the house” thing just doesn’t work for everyone. I’m blessed to be in a position where I can financially provide for us to the level that I do, and expectations are that we both are responsible for looking for ways to serve one another. We are a team, and just as much as he needs my support to make our house “run,” I need his as well.
Titus 2 really speaks to our roles as women. The Bible is clear that the realm of the home is the woman’s domain. This isn’t relegating her to a life of unwilling “servitude”.Rather, it means that as women, our main sphere of influence, the place we should put the best of our energy and love should be first and foremost to our husband, children and home. Whether that sounds relevant or not is neither here nor there. God’s ways and plans are never relevant. Even at the time when the Bible was written women outside of Christianity and true biblical Judaism of the time before Christ were treated as nothing more than slaves. God’s word to husbands and wives went against the culture even of that day! If both spouses are fulfilling God’s roles for their individual genders, then the husband is providing for and protecting his wife and children. My husband and I have traditional biblical roles but he still will make me coffee sometimes or a meal now and then . He makes breakfast for the kids on the weekend and cleans up too. But the main keeper of the home is me because the Bible says we should be workers at home :) When my husband does things around the house, he does it to bless me and be a servant leader. He is not “above” home tasks just because it’s not his main domain and place of work like it is for me. Hopefully, Christian families can pray about how they might work toward biblical roles, make sacrifices and choose obedience. May God lead us ladies to his word and his heart and to humble ourselves to obey the one who created us so uniquely... and with such a privilege as to be the ones training and shaping the next generation; and helping the men we are married to be all they can be before their God. I know my husband’s role outside of our home is making it possible for me to be all I can be before God too. It’s so balanced and wonderful how God laid things out :) What a beautiful role we have! I pray many more or God’s girls can ignore the world’s junky lies and believe that! And then in so many ways husbands and wives are, by their own individual callings, making home a place that’s a paradise for the whole family . Highly encourage checking out the sermon series called the “fulfilled family” by John MacArthur. Download the “grace to you” app for easy listening. You can search by topic :)
As a fellow Christian Woman and someone who is saving myself till marriage I highly enjoy and appreciate you talking so openly abou these topics! I looovvvee your videos and pray that God truly blesses your growing family❤️
This is QUALITY video content. I was married at 19 (2.5 years ago) and my husband and I were both virgins (even after dating for 3 years). I don't regret waiting until marriage to have sex at all (even though it was REALLY REALLY HARD to do). Thank you for speaking out about what you believe and what is Biblical especially when the world is so against Christianity. I admire your courage and willingness to speak truth in ways that are counter cultural.
Momma's... as a nurse I highly recommend abstaining from sex for at least six weeks! No need to rush it and create a negative experience for you of pain or discomfort when you can just let your body heal! Six weeks (AT LEAST) is the timeline we always recommend, be patient and use other ways of showing love to your husband :)
I really needed a wife talk, the past video of you talking about the kids was my mom talk that I needed the most too and the healthy habits, those 3 videos are like your basics. The other day I was caught up watching all your healthy habits and mom talk and wife talk and I just enjoy them so much. Thanks for your content👍🏻
I really resent the notion that many Christians have in regards to jealousy of past partners. I’m married and we both were not virgins before our marriage. We’ve never had feelings of jealous or comparison to past experiences because we have a solid, healthy relationship built on trust and communication. Having sex before marriage does not doom a person to being perpetually unhappy in future relationships. I hope any young Christians watching this who might have had sex and are feeling shamed about it and worried about how they’ll perceive their future relationships knows that it will be okay. Period.
And also: sex is a communication. Physically AND verbally. Just because a person has had sex before doesn’t mean they’re somehow unable to please a future partner. Sarah implies that past experiences somehow cloud a persons ability to have sex in a fulfilling way with future partners and that’s just not true. People can do things during sex that aren’t desired or don’t feel amazing, regardless of their prior experience. It’s about communication.
@@courtneyb6189 I agree as a virgin that we shouldn't shame anyone for their past partners and they are born again cleansed in Jesus's blood and they should always rebuke Satan's shaming whenever he brings up their past. However it'd be pretty hard for me personally to get with a women who's been with a handful of guys because it'd feel like I'm being compared to her partners while I have no one to compare her to and maybe she'll be desensitized to a lot of things in a relationship that will feel sentimental to me since I never dated anyone which is just hard but I'm still open to it.
I love the openness and honesty about these questions, it's so great to talk about! However, when you say "make your home your husband's paradise" I totally understand what you mean, but what if I work too? I want us both to have a peaceful place when we get home but I'm also not a stay at home wife/mom.
I'd say to just pray and listen to worship on your way home releasing all stress from work to God and being a ray of positivity when you guys both get off of work.
This whole video I was like "Yes. Absolutely! Totally agree. Amen to that!" Thank you for sharing this advice Sarah! It is so helpful to have such a good and healthy perspective shared
I love this video!! I wish I had come across something like this sooner. I grew up being told that women don't like sex as much as men and in many cases I saw most of the women in my life treating sex like a burden to them. Then I grew up and got married. I have been married for 4 months now and I dated my husband for 4 and a half years before we got married but I learned that I'm the one in the relationship that takes initiative most and I'm the one "dropping hints" first. Im super thankful because I feared sex for years and years thinking it would be this painful annoying thing that I'd be forced to do to keep my future husband happy. I hope if I have kids that ill be able to teach them about sex in a more positive way. So that they won't fear it like I did.
YES 👏👏👏 to pretty much this whole comment! I was in a very similar place leading up to marriage. I'm so thankful for God's Word, biblical books on the subject, and frank conversations with a couple Christian women I am friends with. It really helped me get over my misconceptions and fears regarding sex.
Ok, I've debated myself on whether or not I should comment this because 1: I really do love and appreciate Sarah's videos and I'm not wanting to cause disruption and the purpose isn't to make her feel horrible and 2: I honestly don't like to say negative things about people on the internet because I don't know them personally and I always try to be charitable when pointing an error out and say it in private to the specific person (which is obviously not possible in this case), but it's been bugging me and bugging me and I want to comment this so that anyone else who feels this way knows she is not alone. Sarah started the video out by saying that she didn't think Christian communities talked about sex enough in a positive way and that we often weren't fed with the proper knowledge (I'm paraphrasing) so that is what she wanted to do in this video - AWESOME! I totally agree and am here for that message! But then she goes on to say that some of the questions people submitted were TMI and definitely gave the impression that people went too far (facial expression, tone of voice, etc.). At least that is definitely how it came across to me. The question I submitted was not answered and I realize that could be for various reasons, but it was more of a practical and blunt question than the ones answered in the video. Most questions answered in this video were not very explicit and were much more general. Again that's not a problem. My problem is that so many women have shame and embarrassment around their sex questions and they don't feel as though they have anyone to ask because they will seem dirty or immoral, so when Sarah posted on IG and said she would be making a video about sex and to ask her our questions I remember her giving the impression that all questions are welcome and that she would *REALLY* get into it. So I asked her a question that I have been too timid to ask anyone else because she was giving me the idea that no question was wrong or "TMI" and that Christians needed to talk about this stuff! Finally - someone who I felt supported by and felt comfortable enough to ask my question! Then when she said in the video that we should have 'seen some of the questions she got' I immediately felt shame and embarrassment that I had asked her the question I did. I messaged her on IG apologizing for asking the question I did, and I just felt horrible. I don't expect an answer from her on IG as I have never received any messages back from her in the past but that also could be for so many reasons, so in no way do I hold that against her! I'm just saying I'm not waiting to post this comment until I hear back from Sarah. Even though I figured she probably would never see my IG message anyway I felt so badly that I needed to make sure I did everything I could to directly apologize. Then I thought about it some more and then some more and more after that, and I realized that, even though I still felt dirty, immoral, ashamed and embarrassed - I shouldn't. My question was definitely about sex and not just the general "how do you set the mood", "how do you make time" kind of question, it was specific. But isn't that her point? That Christians shy away from the specifics of sex and talking about it and that that isn't good? Isn't that why she wants to make this video and have us ask her questions that we have? I have no issue whatsoever if someone has a general, PG type of question and she answers it, not at all! But I also don't think she should have an issue with those who asked the more detailed or blunt questions because she never set boundaries around what kind of questions were welcome and then to make that comment just sets back the entire mission: make talking about sex a comfortable thing to talk about for Christian women because it IS beautiful, God made it and we should feel good about discovering this gift that God gave us! Which is why I am so confused that she recommends the book Sheet Music, because I have read that book and it goes into *very explicit* detail about so many areas of sex, areas that I think many Christian women feel ashamed and embarrassed to talk about, but it definitely goes as deep if not deeper into detail then the question I was asking. So she recommends reading that kind of material and praises the book for being so direct and honest but then she still makes the comment that some questions are TMI. Again, I understand there could have been several reasons for Sarah not answering my specific question - she probably got thousands! And I know that she had to re-film the video because she was initially worried it would get demonetized for being too explicit so obviously she has toned this video down. But at the same time she definitely did not need to make that comment, as I'm sure I'm not the only one who now feels/felt ashamed and once again feels/felt like we can't REALLY talk about the sex questions we have because we are too dirty or immoral or the only ones thinking about this aspect. At the end of the day I am now hesitant again (after working so hard to overcome embarrassment, shame, negativity, etc. around sex) to ask questions I really want to know and understand. I had felt like she was really opening the door to us and genuinely saying 'yes! YOUR question - ask it! It's worth talking about!' and now I do not feel that way. I feel as though I can only ask questions that are general and PG. But again, I know that that's not true and that my question IS worth talking about and it's NOT dirty or immoral, it's just simply not talked about in the Christian community! Except, ironically, by Dr. Kevin Leman, who wrote Sheet Music, although my question was slightly varied from what he wrote and that's why I asked Sarah. SO! The reason I felt I really did need to comment this and not just keep it to myself is so that any other woman who felt the same way after the TMI part will 1: know that they are not alone and others were asking blunt questions too, and 2: that you should not feel dirty, ashamed, embarrassed, immoral, etc. Your question is worth answering and know that 100% you are not the first and you won't be the last to wonder about it. I also encourage you to read Sheet Music. It may not answer all your questions, but it can help a lot! However, like some others, my husband and I disagreed with a few things Dr. Leman wrote as well so we also encourage you to read it carefully with your faith as the foundation :) Once more - this is comment is NOT to hate on Sarah, though I do hope she reads this and realizes that she should have left out that comment. We are all human and I know she would never intend to hurt someone on purpose. I am still very grateful for this video, for all her videos in the past, and will still continue to watch, learn from, and enjoy her future videos! I support Sarah on IG and YT by sharing her videos, liking them, commenting on them, I've been subscribed for so many years now, and I wish her only good things! I have so much love for Sarah and her beautiful, faithful family
I applaud you for the beauty in which your comment was written. I hope you don't feel ashamed in asking a question. If you feel comfortable asking the question here maybe someone can answer it for you. 🤗❤❤❤
Please feel free to ask me ANY question through my IG! My handle is @my.sweet.rosella and you have absolutely nothing to be ashamed of. I believe sex should be discussed openly and in detail, to avoid these boxes of silence and half-hearted conversation that only leave women with more unanswered questions ❤️
Hi Nancy, just a reminder that Sarah said at the beginning that youtube did not give her a great chance by answering more detailed questions because otherwise the video would be taken down or demonitized. Maybe your question was one of them:)
Thank you for this! ❤️ I LOVE that you mention at the end how it is the husband’s job to prepare his wife for sex in the small things. That daily pursuit. My husband and I have struggled in this area for our entire marriage. All of the Christian advice on sex that I have received my whole life has been “submit, submit, submit...” and give him sex when he wants it, never denying him because my body belongs to him, and then he isn’t held accountable for his own actions. It makes me so angry that this is the message that’s been told. There is some truth but, oh, how misunderstood it is!!! I love that more Christian women are starting to speak the truth on this topic because it’s such a huge part of marriage that God designed for our good, yet so many are afraid to talk about it and then let the world define sex for us. Speaking from a wife who’s married to a husband with a sex addiction, it has taken me 5 years to realize that it’s not my fault that he looks at porn. it’s not my fault that I don’t feel like having sex when he wants to. It’s not my fault that he is tempted to look at every other woman when we go out, comparing me to them... I was told for so long that if only I did A, B and C that my husband wouldn’t be so tempted anymore. Well, I did do A, B and C and it didn’t solve the problem. I think a lot of it was well-meaning, but it also was said without much understanding of what was truly going on in our marriage. So all that to say, thank you for making the point that it’s our husband’s role to pursue us and prepare us for intimacy, instead of just expecting us to wait on their hand and foot. What you shared is actually what passages in the New Testament on God’s design for submission, towards husbands and the Lord, and giving husbands the command to love their wives and live with them in knowledge and understanding. It’s like we skip that part!
Scripture says for us to evoke our wives beauty so we should do that throughout the day for the women but as for initiating sex it sounds like such a turn off if she'd never initiate it which makes sense because in the songs of solomon it showed she clearly desired his love and invited him to make love so that goes both ways. If your husband watches porn you should really worry about his salvation because he's likely lukewarm and never truly repented and gave his life to Christ. When the holy spirit which saves us from hell comes into us it gives us self control so if he's doing that all week that wouldn't be a spirit of self control but a man who's heart goes after it's own lustful desires. I'd take your problems to some church elders asap.
Love this video. I got married at 19 (almost 10 years ago! Yikes!) and grew up in a Christian home and I think because all that was talked about was abstaining from sex it made things tricky to navigate. So important to lift up other young women with resources we didn’t have!
Same here! Though I’ve been married for almost 18 years now. I grew up in the whole purity culture. A great book is The Good Girls Guide to Great Sex by Sheila Gregoire. She has really been tearing into the Christian view of sex and looking at it from a truly biblical perspective.
Mom of 4 with 5th on the way. TOTALLY agree about Post pardum sex being great. It’s like it’s between new people after the dramatic life change you’ve both just gone through.
My midwife straight up said to wait 6weeks+ postpartum for any penetration to promote optimal healing, which would lead to the best intimacy in the longer term.
Just to expand on intimacy post partum, you are not a failure if you don’t want to have sex even after 6 weeks post partum. I wasn’t ready until about 15 weeks! Between healing from a severe tear, being a first time mama, being sleep deprived, and settling into my body after birth, I just wasn’t ready. 🤷🏻♀️ And I think waiting more than 6 weeks PP is more common than what is talked about.
Yes! I had an episiotomy which was fine, but it definitely made things uncomfortable for a good three months, so I'm always shocked when people say they were ready within a few weeks. 😆
Not going to lie this was a difficult video for me to watch from a non-religious and feminist stand point, but thank you for sharing your perspectives. I try my best to stay open minded to others’ opinions and beliefs.
I agree from my perspective but at the same time I think there are a lot of people on the conservative Christian side that really need to hear this message and I think she talks about it really well!
@@abenaoseii Its difficult for me too since as women it is preached we are more sentimental than sexual and that men are more sexual than sentimental. Sounds sexist and untrue as BOTH can be sexual and sentimental. Its like christianity likes to put men as hungry horn dogs and us as delicate sentimental sweet creatures. We are as human as men but somehow we want to portray an image of not being sexual, never thinking about sex, never masturbating, never having lustful thoughts, never watching porn, never fantasizing about sex, etc. It just doesn’t help. If men want sex and we don’t then men are wrong and should respect us when we say no. If they want it they should jump through fiery hoops. If by miracle we are the ones who want it and they don’t then…”they are wrong too” for not catering to our needs and therefore they should once again jump through fiery hoops. I rather hear about sex from non-religious sources as christian sources sound quite sexist.
@@laylalayla6630 as a Christian I have to say that's untrue. The bible makes us all look like "horny dogs", not just men. The bible teaches that sexual relations are to be kept between you and your partner. Because to do otherwise spreads your spirit amongst different people, similar to how Israel would share itself with other nations which shall dilude your purity. Which let me add, the bible teaches spiritual purity. Sex outside of monogamy, is considered immoral. Because it's flesh based, and the desire of is impure and self governing. For those outside of the spirit this can be incredibly condemning. But that's only because of the truth of the understanding and the conviction of heart we all have since we were created by something pure to be as pure. Humans are sentimental and sexual. The fact is, the more partners you have sexually outside of monogamy the more damaged your spirit is to repair in the spirit. This is all to help you prepare in purity so that you can be accepted in purity.
Pray about it with a lot of intention(if you aren't already). Maybe there's something in your sex life that God wants you to change or look closer at :)
I can relate! It went away for us with a few years, but you might want to talk to your pastor/a mentor at church who you trust who can talk you through this. If you're married, God made this. This is also the only way to bring a small human to earth, which is one of Gods amazing gifts to us. I'm assuming you've talked to your spouse about it, but it really is tough. Pray about it, seek help, you've got this :)
Thank you for sharing, Sarah. I can't agree more with most of what you have shared. My husband and I got married at 25 and we were still virgins after dating for 4 years. We have been married for 13 years and sex only gets better because we have allowed ourselves to learn and grow together. There was never any comparison and it is was beautiful. 😊
YES 👏👏👏 I love it when Christian women talk openly about sex in a respectful and God-honoring way. It doesn't happen enough! I was raised in a Christian home but sex was treated like a bad word. I was exposed to sex via kids' vulgar conversation and pornography, so my view of sex was that it was a dirty, sinful thing. I wanted nothing to do with it for the longest time. It took God working in my heart, a biblically based book on the subject, and some frank conversations with a couple Christian women I know to get me in the right mindset about sex. Been married 3 years to the greatest man I know and I never knew intimacy could be this awesome! We waited for each other and have followed God's standards and it has truly been the most incredible blessing.
This is probably my favorite wife talk video you've done. I will be showing this to my partner when I get engaged. If you did a podcast on spotify or something, you could talk about those deeper things without getting demonetized. Many of us would love to listen.
I recently got a second chance with my husband of 8 years and boy oh boy has it been hard but so rewarding by the end of the day! Marriage is so hard but I wouldn't change a thing.
There is no role and responsibilities of a wife in Islam. You should watch related to motherhood because that is the only role married woman play in Islam. Also, marriage in Islam is just a business contract.
Foreplay to sex happens from the moment we wake up. Each spouse going out of their way to feed each others love language all day leading up to that moment of physical connection.
I'm not a believer and I've always been cautious when a believer talked about sex because sometimes it can be intense and not as nuanced as you've presented it. The way you talk about sex is amazing. It is so down to earth, realistic and applicable to partnerships and marriages even outside of a Christian home. I really enjoyed this video and thank you so much for sharing it!
@Deborah A Amen to that. Sex should not be shameful or dirty when it’s enjoyed in a marriage. Because it’s the main form of bonding among spouses and it’s also something which is necessary to procreate. Sex is a sacred act that married couples need to enjoy as often as they both desire because it is a way of honouring God when we use what he created in the correct way to give our spouse sexual pleasure. Both the penis and vagina are designed by God to fit nicely during sexual intercourse so that both persons get enough pleasure. And the very moment two persons decide to get married, it’s the beginning of a new life which changes from two individuals to being as one flesh. Sexual intercourse is a good representation of the two joining as one flesh. From the moment two individuals come together, the penis and vagina are joined during sex and the sperms from the man are released into the woman who absorbs them to fertilise her egg and a new individual is formed out of genetic material from the man and woman. As christians, sex should be a beautiful act once we get married and women have to submit and surrender their body to her husband as a form of love. It’s sad that many women get married but want to avoid sex.
I hear so many Christian women say to just have sex anyway when your not in the mood. That it doesn’t matter if you want to or not, it’s your duty as a wife. That’s so toxic to me and I’m so glad you didn’t say that!
I hope she’s changed her stance on that. That mind set is gross in my opinion. Yes, we need to have sex with our spouses but they should help get us in the mood and not expect us to jump to it whenever they want. And it’s ok to say no if we don’t want to.
"Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by AGREEMENT for a LIMITED time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control." - I Corinthians 7:5 As Sarah mentions in this video, sex is a way to bond with your husband. And if you are not in the mood, why not? Are you tired? Angry? Frustrated? Is sex painful for you? (If so, please consult a doctor.) But if you are "not in the mood" regularly, then sex may not be the issue. There are many marriages in which husbands (and wives) are denied sex by their spouses for years! While many spouses faithfully suffer in silence, many look for comfort outside of their marriage. This is why the aforementioned verse is so important. God created sex as a way to build intimacy between husband and wife, inside and outside the bedroom. Practically speaking (and from a Christian worldview), you and your husband signed up for monogamy. That means sex with each other and no one else. And if you want to remain married, then sexual intimacy is part of the deal. (Song of Songs, anyone?) Back to the original point, if you are not in the mood at that time, reschedule. Don't just say no or claim to "have a headache." If sex is important to your husband, you love him, and care about his happiness, figure it out together. If you are harboring some resentment toward him, pray about it first. Then, lovingly, talk to your husband (using "I", more often than "you"). Communication - verbal, non-verbal, and physical - is imperative in a healthy, happy, godly marriage. Oh, and one more for the road: "For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but her husband does. LIKEWISE the husband does not have authority over his own body, but his wife does." - I Corinthians 7:4 (And, because context matters, I would suggest reading I Corinthians 7:1-16. It is one of many great passages about how to have and maintain a godly marriage. God wants his children to have marriages that honor Him (and so do I). God bless.
lol sheet music was totally something we had to read in our premarital counselling, side note: I highly recommend pre marital counselling EVEN if you're not Christian. It helped so much in those early years
One of the best parts of this video for me is how you validated the joys and advantages of saving yourselves for each other until your wedding night. God bless you
As someone who struggled with sexual difficulty in the first year of marriage (young Christian virgins) I am particularly passionate about talking about this more openly. Two great books are The Act of Marriage by Tim Lahaye (co written with his wife) and Love Your Husband, Love Yourself by Deborah Flanders.
The Act of Marriage by the LaHayes was soooooo great! My husband had a copy and I had one. We read it before we got married. I gave this book to my nieces before they got married. So helpful!
Unpopular opinion...but when hubby wants some and you aren’t in the mood, sometimes giving in and choosing to love him (obviously this doesn’t work all the time), blesses him and in turn blesses me. And 99% of the time I get in the mood within 5 minutes 🤷🏻♀️
I love these types of videos, Sarah! I do find it interesting that most times I hear sex brought up by Christians, the statement, "the church doesn't talk about sex enough", and drawing those "us" versus "them" contrasts. I believe that you talking about biblical sex and wifehood with other believers (myself included) is indeed the church talking about it, because all believers make up the church of Christ. It bums me out to continually hear the church referred to as "them" and being thrown under the bus for the things we believe it lacks, when we ARE the church and we have the power of the Holy Spirit within us to step into into those God-honoring conversations about what needs to be talked about. But you talking about it is the church talking about it, and it's so good for all of us to hear and engage with! What are your thoughts on this?
I couldn’t agreed more. My dad had guillain barre when I was 15. We thought he wouldn’t make it but he did, unfortunately he wasn’t able to work since then so he stayed at home. My mom was the one working and I loved it... both were extremely supportive to each other. Even now that my mom is retired my dad is still on charge of the house and the bills 🤍 (btw sorry if my English isn’t great hehehe)
I relate to this so much. My husband was my first everything. I had no idea what was possible, and even 7 years in we discover new things about each other.💖
"Do you ever regret not having previous experience" Heck no. More like traumatized from previous partners is more like it. Psychological and physical damage never really goes away. I feel like couples not saving themselves for marriage is a big part of marital problems 💔 personal experience🙋🏻♀️ Being young surprisingly was not at all an issue with my husband either, we have literally grown up and are now growing old together 💕
Love when you post these videos! As a single, Christian woman (who used to be incredibly uncomfortable at the idea of sex due to growing up in a very conservative home) I appreciate your initiative to talk about sex from a healthy Christian perspective. Thanks for your honesty! ❤️
Great stuff! The only thing I’d say I disagree with is making your home a paradise for you husband. I’d say make your home a paradise for your husband the best you can in the stage you’re in without letting it drive you nuts or stress you out too much. As a mom it’s just not easy to always have the house perfect. And my husband COMPLETELY understands and often does a lot of the house stuff himself when we are in phases of life where it’s just impossible for me. He agrees that me being good mentally is much better than a perfect home!
I totally see what you're saying here. And I definitely don't have kids yet, so I don't know how much work it takes to clean a house where kiddos live. I am a married college kid, though, and it's hard to keep the house clean sometimes! Just wanted to hop on to be encouraging and say that I think you can also create a "paradise" for you and your husband with things other than a clean house! Like speaking kindly and asking him about his day or if he needs some time alone (like my husband who is a major introvert), then trying to meet his love languages. In this way, you can still create an environment where he feels loved and glad to be there even if there are dishes and kids toys and other things! 🌿🌿🌿
I interpreted what she was saying as make your home and inviting and comfortable environment for your husband (as in welcome him home in a loving way after a long day of work and don’t be a nagging wife because no one wants to come home to that) not as make sure the house is always clean and dinner is on the table when he gets home. Paradise is not just the way something looks on the outside but how it makes you feel aka calm and relaxed
If she added every little cavyiot there is to this video, it would have been 3 hours long. What you said is implied. She gave a general point not an entire dissertation. Take it as such.
Ah!! I love when Christian women feel called to talk openly about sex. It lifts such a heavy veil and makes everyone safer and happier. Thank you for doing this! I’d love a podcast of a Christian woman talking about difficult topics- this is what we need!
@Audrey Laughrey Amen to that. It’s just so weird that we Christians are so afraid of talking about sex when it’s a gift from God for our enjoyment in a marriage. It is good to hear more Christians talk openly about sex. Because sex is a normal thing in marriage because we bond with our spouse in a special way through the sacred act of sexual intercourse. Also, we have sex to procreate just like how other animals do the same. We should learn to accept the fact that once we get married, we need to put our sexual organs to use because they were made for that purpose. Marriage is the opening of a new chapter in life where our body is no longer kept to ourself. Instead, we are to give it fully to our spouse so that they can enjoy the pleasure that they desire while also letting us enjoy it.
Yea, thats what we need alright. Going to church and seeing beautiful women talk about how they love sex. Right, thats gonna really help men out with their lust and porn problem.
4:37 In one of your videos you had said you would never title one of your video in a click-bait way and the example you used was “how we almost divorced.” Some people probably took that as “wait, they almost divorced?” And the way you explained it did kinda sound like y’all had thought about it. I think that is what some people are referring to!! Glad you continue to clarify that divorce is not an option for you two. So wonderful to see and hear!
Thank you for your honesty and transparency. I have been married for 16 years and it is easy to forget about what brought us together to start. It is easy to let the fire die out.
Agree! Look into the survey Sheila Wray Gregoire did with over 20,000 Christian women. Many listed Sheet Music and many other Christian sex books as something that harmed them. She's working hard to change the way marriage books talk about sex!
@@hmatson3127 I took part in that survey but found a lot of the questions were very leading. I had a good upbringing when it comes to sexually education and my church also contributed in a very healthy way to my understanding of sex and marriage. I found Shelia's survey was more directed for people who had a poor sexual education. Shelia shares the same teachings as Kevin Leman does in his book about masturbation and those I disagree with. As with anything, we should be reading our Bibles and praying, then acting as we feel lead.
I'm never going to understand this Christian perspective. Guess what? Sex exists outside heteronormativity. Queer love and marriage exists. To speak in this manner to ignore queer love and sex is such an act of cruelty and hatred. You can frame it in peace and love and say it's just your religion, but this is a cop out. My marriage happens to include a man and a woman. But there is no way in the world I'll be teaching our children it's the only way to live on this earth. Love is love people.
This isnt how it should be. We were created by God. And God created marriage to be between a man and woman. Our sinful flesh and the fall of humanity has perverted this and people went after unnatural lusts. But the Bible and Jesus preaches against homosexuality
"Make your home your husbands paradise" I have to say I disagree with you here... It should be more something like "Create a home WITH your husband that you BOTH feel like in paradise" Why should I as a woman feel responsible for the place we both live in. what if I work as well and come home after a long day? I think it should be teamwork! And to be honest, it is also MY home so I have to feel comfortable and good living in it!
She is coming from her perspective as a wife. What she sees as her responsibility. I can promise you if Kieran made a video on the topic of a Christian husband it would be to please her and make her home/life a paradise. It goes both ways. Marriage is sacrificial. So yes it is our jobs as woman to make our husbands feel as comforted as possible but it is also there responsibility to do the same. Everyone is listening to only half of what she’s saying.
@@nel9732 yeah I totally get that and I agree with you :) And I also know that Sarah and Kieran work a lot together in their home. I just would have wished her to say that at least ;) to mention both sides, hers as a wife and Kierans as a husband.
I'm crying through this! Thank you for everything! I know I can work on making my home a paradise and also communicating with my husband more. Thank you!
I love that you reminded people “God created sex.” God is not a prude; sex has its sacred place in marriage. God is totally a romantic, and it makes Him happy to see husband & wife happy and in love.
As a Christian wife and mother: I just love this video!! Thank you so much! I have just found your channel and I really enjoy that finally somebody really seeks the will of God and does what he wants! You seem like someone who is born again and trying to do what Jesus wants and also communicates biblical thinking very clearly. That makes me happy! 🥰
Thanks for this ! I am the “Kieran” in the relationship but sometimes need to remember he’s not always in the mood . ESP of there are other things going on in the home
@@SarahTherese Fair enough, as long as he equally made the home a paradise for you. I just hate it when people don’t realize there are many homes where it’s the woman who’s tired from work, and the husband stays home
Such a valuable point. Something to consider is that a healthy relationship will have both parties doing this. Your husband should be making the home just as welcoming for you as you do for him. I’ve been in an abusive marriage where my ex told me I needed to have the house perfectly cleaned, cook all the meals, take care of his needs, etc. all while I was working 3 jobs (80 hours a week) and he was working 1 part time job (30 hours a week). That’s not the situation Sarah is highlighting or supporting here. It’s this mindset of making the home a happy escape for your spouse, not doing 100% of the chores. Though if you love doing chores and have the time for it, I’m sure that would be good too!
I actually was the only earner our first year of marriage while my husband finished his degree. I found it helpful just asking him what was important to him. It turns out that basic chores that irritated me didn’t even phase him but he really cared about knowing what was for dinner at the start of the day not 30 mins before hand. He also really appreciated having a few minutes to himself when he got home if he’d been in lectures because as a introvert he just wanted to decompress. Also greeting him with a hug and kiss won me major points (physical touch is his love language).
I'm sad it wasn't mentioned that this should happen both ways. My husband should also make our home our paradise for me and for the both of us to enjoy. What a huge responsibility it would be for a wife to focus on her husbands needs without focusing on herself or without her husband also focus on her needs.
My boyfriend and I happened to be virgins when we got together. We aren’t married, but we had dated others before us, yet happened to have accidentally “waited” for eachother. I get the feeling that despite me not being religious and wanting to wait till marriage, I may coincidentally only ever tie myself to one person
@tylerlee27 in all honestly, we are only turning 21 this year. Just a bit young and also kind of waiting for older siblings to have their moments with engagement and such.
@tylerlee27 I went to a lutheran college high school where we went to chapel every day and grew up a "church but only on the big holidays and for kids club" kinda family. But I stopped being religious at 12 and as a queer person who is a) a studying scientist and b) anti oppression, I'd say it's still not my scene. I know far too many victims of the church to support it
I plan on teaching my future children that "sex is not a no but a not yet". I also love being married young because it gave us the opportunity to grow a life together rather than smash 2 established lifestyles of adults together. I feel like we had to grow closer to figure out how to navigate being independent
Just for anyone who works as well, when Sarah was discussing “make your home your husbands paradise” this is possible when you are working. We both work full time and I’m a full time student, but I try to make sure that the home is cozy and relaxing.
Thank you for being willing to speak of sex biblically! Intimacy is beautiful when it is between a husband and wife and our culture has distorted it so badly. It’s refreshing to hear this!
Also, I'm not sure I can agree that a man should expect his wife to keep the home a "paradise" in return for his just staying employed. Holding down a job is not that big of an achievement or burden for our generation. Stay-at-home moms have enough to worry about with raising all his kids, doing all the shopping, and keeping the place sanitary and picked up. If his career is so draining that his wife has to construct an elaborate, luxurious landing pad for him to stay sane, then he needs to find a better-fitting job. If he were a bachelor, he'd be living like a slob anyway.
Hey there! Every marriage is different, and I can’t read Sarah’s mind lol, but I think she was saying that it is a worthy goal for a wife, not necessarily a good EXPECTATION for a husband, if that makes sense.
Such a great video! There are some things I can work on for sure, especially the home Paradies part. Being married at 19, I too felt akward, ashamed and like it was "wrong" ecerytine we had sex. Even though purity culture isn't that big of a thing in german churches. It took a few YEARS to get rid of these feelings. And about the post partum sex: we waited 2-3 months after every kid, and he was very understanding and dint want me to "have" to have sex when I'm not entirely ready again. But there's always other things you can do to be intimate, just not the actual intercours. So we did a lot of that to bridge those months and were even more exited to finally have the almost "first" time again. I can relate to so much of what Sarah said here!
I feel that it is a blessing for people to be married young. They get many more years to enjoy God’s gift of sex. Society has sent the wrong message to many people about sex. God’s view on sex is that it is holy, pleasing and enjoyable as long as it is done within a marriage. How do you cope with having sex after giving birth? Like do your children intrude into your privacy halfway and how do you handle their questions?
People ask about you and Kieran almost divorcing because in a husband and wife Q&A you were talking about how other couples use clickbait in their videos and you said "we aren't going to use this video as clickbait by talking about the time we almost divorced" etc etc. Obviously this was just an example of the type of content other couples use, but it did sound like you may have been talking about yourselves -- just a misunderstanding!
Yeah... I also misunderstood the previous video and when you said we never thought about it, I was like wait a minute... but I am glad it has been a misunderstanding and that you guys never even thought about it! ♥️ Love from Sri Lanka
I definitely enjoyed this: I was hoping u made this soon and it literally happened today it’s like you were in my brain bc I needed this reminder and encouragement
As a christian newlywed, this stuff is SO important! There was so much I didn't know the first week of our marriage because the church just doesn't talk about it. Please keep making these videos even if RUclips yells at you for it haha!
I Love this! My husband and I are also believers and abstained before marriage. We ended up investing in a book called “The gift of Sex” which was so helpful. It literally gave us permission to finally be intimate. 🙌🏾
So true with having only one partner for life! I have seen people write on Reddit how they are just pining away for the sexual experience that an ex gave them that they can't be happy in their current marriage 🤦🏼🤦🏼🤦🏼
When you started talking about postpartum sex I thought you were going to say it was the worst 😅 I was so scared! But in reality, everything you said about it actually excited me for postpartum sex, and I’m way more comforted by the thought of it now! Some people make it sound so awful, it’s hard not to picture the worst.
I love this video. Commenting for engagement 👌💖 I'm 19 and have a really weird obsession with learning how people create a mentally healthy home together as a couple. I love taking tips from videos just like this and watching the positivity grow between my partner and I.
The common advice for guys is ” prepare her for x throughout the day ” while I think it’s great advice. It’d just like to add, it should be included that they should do this other days too otherwise it just feels like it’s just on “those”days and it doesn’t feel authentic.
I 100% relate on the having the housework done before being intimate! Also I like yo be bodily clean. Even if I had a shower that same morning... I feel dirty by the end of the day... it's hard for me to understand when my husband is ok with the dirt of the day being on me.
100% would be down for a podcast from you and learning from you with those harder topics! I am engaged, getting married this summer, my fiancé and I are both virgins. While I’m not necessarily afraid of having sex i have heard so many negative stories and experiences that have caused me to feel slightly anxious about how it will be. Watching the videos you have made and surrounding myself with healthy Christian relationships in that context has helped me so much! And simply talking with my fiancé about these things and expressing my concerns has helped. Ive been able to see his heart for me and his genuine desire to please me as well.. Also Sarah, these types of videos are my favourite as I see your solid faith shine through! It is so encouraging!!
36 here mama of 5 boys!! I very much enjoy all your videos. Such great topics and great variety of topics you touch on. Your glowing girly, always looking absolutely stunning. Sending hellos from Anchorage Alaska Tschandra Heinze
I really loved the part where you talked about making your home your husbands paradise. I needed to be reminded of that ❤️ I have 2 young kids and I work full time and I feel like a lot of the times when my husband comes home from working I kind of bombard him because I feel overwhelmed. What you spoke about reminded me that he was mine first and I need to take care of him as well ❤️ thank you, I love watching your videos, you are an inspiration!
Don't forget that your husband can also help and you're a team! You work full time, too and that's a lot of pressure to put on yourself. You're worthy of a break too ♥️
I literally freezed when Sarah started talking about drinking water XD I have been procrastinating going up to get my water bottle for like two hours... I guess I needed that reminder lol
As someone that is not religious I find it very interesting to hear your perspective on this. I'm not married but I do live with my boyfriend of 13 years and I had many people asking me if I wasn't afraid I'll regret settling in so young, if I don't feel curious about being with other people and you know, I totally agree with you: there's something special about being with one single person all your life. Call me a hopeless romantic but I feel so fortunate for having found the love of my life at the age of 17 and I don't think I'm missing out on anything. I felt that pressure when I was a teenager/young adult from friends, class mates, work colleagues, family even to "enjoy life", to "experiment" and not settle for my boyfriend at such a young age. But I decided to follow my heart instead of following other people's views on what it means to be young and enjoy life 💛
Thank you for your insight, Sarah❤ As an unmarried young woman at 22, I find being intimate as an important thing during marriage and it is God's gift to married couples. This needs to be talked about more, since in my culture discussing topics such as sex with the younger generation is sometimes still considered a taboo. People need to have a healthier view on what sex really is and not just consider it as something wrong. It's something tremendously beautiful, as it is created by our Heavenly Father. So I thank you for saying that❤ Also, I love your videos. I hope you all are doing really really well and may yoy have a blessed day onwards!
@@tylerlee27 thank you but we're still in the process of getting to know one another (he's one of my best friends, currently working abroad). And I'd really prefer not to say, for privacy purposes🙈
The world really needs more people like you! You are awesome in every way possible. Thank you so much for this video and every single one that you've made throughout the time and every single one that you will make in the future. Love you 💕😘
I feel like sex in the church is definitely not talked about enough. It's a huge part of married life as well as a Christian lifestyle and is vital for healthy marriage. Thank you for taking the time to dive into this subject.
I agree!
Many people are being taught that sex is dirty and shameful but the truth is that is only so when outside of a marriage. Within a marriage, sex is a sacred gift from God for husband and wife to partake as a form of enjoyment as well as for procreation. Sex is not dirty because it is a natural act within marriage and our parents themselves also had sex to bring us into this world. In fact, God wants us to have sex with our spouse as often as we like because we are honouring God for using His beautiful gift of sex to pleasure ourself as well as our spouse. And I feel that instead of telling girls that sex is dirty and shameful, we should teach them that waiting is about exercising self control as well as respecting God and your husband. No man wants his wife to be shared with others because her vagina is not a fitting room for many people to try on. It is solely for the husband to penetrate and make love to his wife because sex makes a woman emotionally closer to the man because her vagina has been penetrated and she will definitely remember it. Christians should embrace sex as something which we ought to be enjoying in a marriage because it is a completely natural act between husband and wife and it completely signifies the two persons being united as one flesh through the penetration of the vagina with the penis as well as the release of semen which is absorbed by the woman to fertilise her egg. And yes, the church needs to talk about sex more often so that it becomes a natural thing for a marriage.
@@kennethfok absolute truth here. Its vital to the marriage. And vital to the Christian walk in marriage. No need to shame or hide the basic fundamentals that God himself created for us to honor him with.
I agree with you. The bible clearly mentions an area where the couple married should come together as one intimately and should separate during “prayer” or the practice of christianity but should come again together regularly because lust can be gain for someone else
I want to change my religion because my girlfriend is Christian and I want to spent my whole my with her. She is running in my blood. She is my heart. Sex is not most important. Love and care is more important. I don't want to love someone in a hundred different ways. I want to spend my life loving someone in a hundred different ways. Please pray for me all of you 🙏 Thank you so much 💓💓🤗
I never understood people's arguments of "you're missing out" when it comes to having multiple sexual partners. I'd rather just have my husband. Sex is sex, it's the emotional intimacy that makes it worthwhile.
There’s actually nothing to miss out. When there’s no past experience, there’s nothing to compare. Nothing is better than husband and wife coming together as a virgin and learning about sex together. And a woman’s vagina is not a fitting room for many penises to enter, but only for that one man who has been united with her to become one flesh. Sex outside of a marriage union is dirty, shameful and a sin. But within a marriage union, it is holy, sacred and desired by God. God said it’s better not to marry. But because of lust and sexual immorality, a man has to take a woman to become one flesh with him in marriage. By becoming one flesh, they are allowed to be naked in front of one another, joining their penis and vagina together and for their sperm and egg to join together for the creation of a new being. Marriage is meant for a man and a woman to be accountable to one another. They bring forth their sexual desires and their spouse tries his/her best to satisfy it. There is no lust within a marriage because husband and wife belong to each other and their thoughts should only be about their spouse.
Precisely
Because while your right, you forget that deviancy brings physical pleasure. Living in the spirit deprived us of this physical pleasure, and without the spirit ceasing to indulge in physical pleasure is starving yourself, but with no power to overcome. Who would do that?
@@zeetop5433 this sounds very dumb
@@darthmoovius4971 well it is devoid of God..
The husbands Paradise thing. It goes both ways.Husbands or which ever partner is the one coming home. Nothing worst than someone bring home all their problems and making an uncomfortable environment for everyone.
Omg YES 🙌🏽
You missed the point! The advice was from a wife FOR WIVES!
!!Marriage is Sacrificial!! She is coming from her perspective as a wife. What she sees as her responsibility. I can promise you if Kieran made a video on the topic of a Christian husband it would be to please her and make her home/life a paradise. It goes both ways. So yes it is our jobs as woman to make our husbands feel as comforted as possible but it is also there responsibility to do the same. Everyone is listening to only half of what she’s saying.
I would love to hear you & Keiran talk about his role as a father. I see SO MANY women say things like "my husband hasn't ever changed a diaper, is this normal?" Or "my husband plays video games & I don't trust him with the baby."
Just curious how you guys tend to delegate things like this? My husband is super helpful with our children even though we have more "typical" household roles.
This is a great idea for a video!
I'd love to hear about that as well!! I'm not married but looking into the future, I don't think it's okay for a husband not to take a huge part in taking care of the children because, most importantly, it affects the kids who need to feel connected to and loved by both the parents through all 5 love languages but I also think that the way each household goes about parenting should be a discussed topic/plan between the parents since everyone's situation is different (I'm sorry for mentioning my opinion that nobody asked for, I just thought it's an interesting topic to discuss)
would love to see this!!!
I work full time and my husband stays home with our five month old. He's an amazing dad. I hope someday to be a stay at home mom, but for now I'm so thankful I have a capable husband who loves our child.
Sad thing is how we expect men to fulfill all the roles that have been traditional for women but we are not willing to also do the roles that are traditionally only expected for men to do not only in marriage but also before marriage. Sexism is bad for everybody not just us.
Also I feel that it is so important for Moms especially to have open conversations with their daughters to allow them to feel safe in asking questions about sex, thats how my mom raised me and I am so thankfull because Im still saving myself for marriage, but I dont feel as scared and uninformed,💐❤️
Ditto! And agreed!
Agree. I think all the porn and overly sexed TV and basically everything lol, have tainted sex and made it “dirty”.
Unfortunately, many of the Christians involved in Purity Culture don't teach their kids about sex until just before the wedding day. Sex is a natural, important part of life, and talking about it in age-appropriate ways is healthy. ~ Anastacia in Cleveland
It’s up to both partners to make the home a paradise not just one person especially if both are working Individuals and not a home maker
thank you for saying this. I 100% agree. once she went into that I lost interest. a lot of christian values come off incredibly sexist and focused around gender roles and I am just not about it.... marriage is about partnership.. not the woman expected to be a housewife/servant to her husband.
Exactly! I just wrote something like this in the comments before I even finished the video or scrolled through the comments. SO GLAD others felt that was off/odd or dated too
Yees I thought about the same thing :p especially that usually (I think) both partners work..
Tbh I'm starting to believe Sarah is incredibly sexist. I understand she believes whatever was forced onto her growing up, but she has daughters and lots of young girls who look up to her. She's basically been saying (on other videos as well) that the woman must do everything in the house and the man just gives orders. This is last video of hers that I'll be watching. Sorry if I sound rude but this upsets me.
She was obviously explaining this in the context of a husband working all day long and a stay at home wife.
wife can also "doesn't want to be in this home" and husband should make it a paradise for her ;)
That was exactly what I thought. This is totally unfair, only wives to try so.
I think she said only the wife's part, because usually wife's stay home while man work, not because a wife must do this. There are just so many situations in life you can't talk about in one video, so please don't "judge" her because of that.
Exactly! Couples should work together on having a place where they feel safe, happy and relaxed, especially when they both work outside the house.
@@rekabalogh1228 of course we do not judge her!! We love Sarah for her mind and spirit. Even if she doesn't agree to both sides paradise, we can all do whatever we want in our relationships.
It is just nice to remind it as a comment, just not to forget.
@@georgiabarka1323 you're right
I remember doing a study on the word "sex" from the Bible, and anytime "sex" was used the term translated to "sexual immorality" and was often used as a warning (primarily by Paul). "Sex" was never used as a term by the Holy Spirit, but instead the context fell along the lines of "And Adam knew his wife, Eve." The context for sex in God's perspective fell under knowing each other on the deepest and most intimate level. Doing that study really helped my perspective of sex and the right way for sex.
Wow I love this. 🙌
Love this.
check out islam, how openly and positively sex in marriage is highlighted!
@@lo.fr.8092 If that is so why are women forced to get circumcised and which involves removing the clitoris? Unless that’s a different muslim denomination that does that.
@@laylalayla6630 There is no forcing of FMG in Islam. Also, the entire clitoris is not removed in any case. What you are referring to is a cultural practice, that indeed takes part in some places of the world. Christianity is a religion and not American or British culture. Islam is a relgion. Many many many many different people across the world are Muslim. Just like there are black and white Christians, there are also black and white and all kinds of Muslims. Everyone and anyone can be Muslim. Some people make the mistake and adhere to their cultural practices, which go against Islam sometimes.
I grew up in a very conservative baptist household where sex was absolutely not talked about and it was seen as a very dirty thing.. I had a lot of guilt (even after marriage) about having sex. We have been married almost 7 years and let me tell you.. now that I have read the Bible, prayed about the subject and have found my confidence... Sex is amazing and is absolutely created by God for marriage!
my fam was not extremely conservative and suffered the same problem.
I suffered the same problems leading to guilty sex as well 🥺
Praise God for that work He's done in you!! I totally understand where you're coming from
WE'D LOVE A PODCAST!!! You could name it Reheating your coffee with Sarah 😂
Oh I really love that name! Lol!
this is it.
Yeeeesss totally!
Ahahahaha
Seriously! I actually don’t listen to podcasts and do not know how you even do that. However I would totally figure it out. I’m old enough to be her mom but seriously she has great content.
"make your home your husbands paradise because it will give you a happy, healthy man, and thats what you want." --this line of thinking frustrates me! i don't think anybody should be responsible for anybody else's happiness and it sets up unrealistic expectations. furthermore, if a man is thinking about going home in a negative light on his way from work, maybe he should ask himself how he let it get that way. these things are not always the woman's fault.
Hear hear! Couldn't agree with you more ♥️
@Eglė Vaitkevičienė this is 2021.. not many women sit their asses at home all day waiting for their man to come home. and the only unanswered questions i see in this thread are the ones in your comment.
it's also extremely rude of you to say i need to work on myself; you have no idea who i am or what i do on a daily basis, or what my relationship is even like. i was not attacking sarah, or her family, i was suggesting that what she said and the way she phrased it was upsetting to me. and then you turned around to attack me? i am just sticking up for other women and trying to pave a path for a more equal future.
also edit: i have nothing against keeping a clean home. it's the phrasing of "husbands paradise" that i have an issue with. because if you are keeping a clean/tidy home, it will not just be a "husbands paradise" but it will be my "families paradise" and that is all i am trying to get across..
I hear both of you. You have a right to your opinion, but I do want to express that Sarah's didn't upset me (and I am not a SAHM). She was speaking in the context of a stay-at-home wife, and I find that statement not only true for her husband but I bet it would also be true for herself too. To express that we shouldn't be responsible for someone else's happiness is a wrong mentality to have. That isn't the message. It is that we should serve one another. When we do things for each other it brings joy and happiness. That's great that she can do that for him because she has so much extra time. For me, I serve my husband in different ways and vice versa. I believe both are valid and neither view point is wrong, because our circumstances are different. We must understand that. When we do, we're more graceful with ourselves.
@Eglė Vaitkevičienė no one is responsible for for anyone's happiness. Your feelings are your feelings, the only one who's responsible for that is you. That doesn't mean you can't make another person happy, but they, not you, decides how to react. A healthy form of responsibility in relationships depends two healthy people who know how to set boundaries.
It's not my job to make my husband happy. I'm not Britney Spears (lol).
I dunno, my husband goes out every day to a job he doesn't like to earn a living for us. He takes the trash out when I ask him and always tells me how beautiful he thinks I am. He makes me very happy and I want to make him happy
The biggest way to be "good at sex" is to be willing to communicate and learn together and care for each other
What about vice versa? Husbands making a home for the wife to come home to. Since many women are not homemakers anymore, is It the sole responsibility of the wife to make the home a paradise for the husband?
I’m sure she would agree that it is the same for vise versa, but is just speaking on her personal experience! (Even tho she also works, just from home) the main take away is that when your spouse works all day out of your house, you should do everything you can to make your home their favorite place to come home to after the day is done.
It definitely goes both ways! I love the gospel focus on a man and a woman becoming one through marriage. Each has a role to play in the relationship and each marriage will be slightly different. My husband works full time and I stay home. Because of that, we've agreed that daily chores (sweeping, dishes, laundry, tidying up generally) are my responsibility, and he often does the dishes on the weekend. We both work together on other chores like vacuuming and cleaning bathrooms and things. He also makes dinner every night! It's a mutual agreement so neither of us feels taken advantage of or over burdened. So I think making your home a paradise is going to look different for every couple, but the point is that your home is a place that your family wants to be, a safe haven from outside stresses and anxieties.
@@SarahTherese 1 Peter 3:7: "In the same way, you husbands must give honor to your wives. Treat your wife with understanding as you live together. She may be weaker than you are, but she is your equal partner in God's gift of new life. Treat her as you should so your prayers will not be hindered." Love this scripture!
Agreed, this point did not gel well with me. My husband and I both work full time, and I run a business on top of my 9-5. God has us all in different roles, and the traditional “wife stays home and takes care of the house” thing just doesn’t work for everyone.
I’m blessed to be in a position where I can financially provide for us to the level that I do, and expectations are that we both are responsible for looking for ways to serve one another. We are a team, and just as much as he needs my support to make our house “run,” I need his as well.
Titus 2 really speaks to our roles as women. The Bible is clear that the realm of the home is the woman’s domain. This isn’t relegating her to a life of unwilling “servitude”.Rather, it means that as women, our main sphere of influence, the place we should put the best of our energy and love should be first and foremost to our husband, children and home.
Whether that sounds relevant or not is neither here nor there. God’s ways and plans are never relevant. Even at the time when the Bible was written women outside of Christianity and true biblical Judaism of the time before Christ were treated as nothing more than slaves. God’s word to husbands and wives went against the culture even of that day!
If both spouses are fulfilling God’s roles for their individual genders, then the husband is providing for and protecting his wife and children. My husband and I have traditional biblical roles but he still will make me coffee sometimes or a meal now and then . He makes breakfast for the kids on the weekend and cleans up too. But the main keeper of the home is me because the Bible says we should be workers at home :) When my husband does things around the house, he does it to bless me and be a servant leader. He is not “above” home tasks just because it’s not his main domain and place of work like it is for me.
Hopefully, Christian families can pray about how they might work toward biblical roles, make sacrifices and choose obedience.
May God lead us ladies to his word and his heart and to humble ourselves to obey the one who created us so uniquely... and with such a privilege as to be the ones training and shaping the next generation; and helping the men we are married to be all they can be before their God. I know my husband’s role outside of our home is making it possible for me to be all I can be before God too. It’s so balanced and wonderful how God laid things out :)
What a beautiful role we have! I pray many more or God’s girls can ignore the world’s junky lies and believe that! And then in so many ways husbands and wives are, by their own individual callings, making home a place that’s a paradise for the whole family .
Highly encourage checking out the sermon series called the “fulfilled family” by John MacArthur. Download the “grace to you” app for easy listening. You can search by topic :)
As a fellow Christian Woman and someone who is saving myself till marriage I highly enjoy and appreciate you talking so openly abou these topics! I looovvvee your videos and pray that God truly blesses your growing family❤️
This is QUALITY video content. I was married at 19 (2.5 years ago) and my husband and I were both virgins (even after dating for 3 years). I don't regret waiting until marriage to have sex at all (even though it was REALLY REALLY HARD to do).
Thank you for speaking out about what you believe and what is Biblical especially when the world is so against Christianity. I admire your courage and willingness to speak truth in ways that are counter cultural.
How’d you meet
Momma's... as a nurse I highly recommend abstaining from sex for at least six weeks! No need to rush it and create a negative experience for you of pain or discomfort when you can just let your body heal! Six weeks (AT LEAST) is the timeline we always recommend, be patient and use other ways of showing love to your husband :)
I really needed a wife talk, the past video of you talking about the kids was my mom talk that I needed the most too and the healthy habits, those 3 videos are like your basics. The other day I was caught up watching all your healthy habits and mom talk and wife talk and I just enjoy them so much. Thanks for your content👍🏻
I really resent the notion that many Christians have in regards to jealousy of past partners. I’m married and we both were not virgins before our marriage. We’ve never had feelings of jealous or comparison to past experiences because we have a solid, healthy relationship built on trust and communication. Having sex before marriage does not doom a person to being perpetually unhappy in future relationships. I hope any young Christians watching this who might have had sex and are feeling shamed about it and worried about how they’ll perceive their future relationships knows that it will be okay. Period.
And also: sex is a communication. Physically AND verbally. Just because a person has had sex before doesn’t mean they’re somehow unable to please a future partner. Sarah implies that past experiences somehow cloud a persons ability to have sex in a fulfilling way with future partners and that’s just not true. People can do things during sex that aren’t desired or don’t feel amazing, regardless of their prior experience. It’s about communication.
Yes, I find it so triggering when people shame sex before marriage.
@@courtneyb6189 I agree as a virgin that we shouldn't shame anyone for their past partners and they are born again cleansed in Jesus's blood and they should always rebuke Satan's shaming whenever he brings up their past. However it'd be pretty hard for me personally to get with a women who's been with a handful of guys because it'd feel like I'm being compared to her partners while I have no one to compare her to and maybe she'll be desensitized to a lot of things in a relationship that will feel sentimental to me since I never dated anyone which is just hard but I'm still open to it.
@@roaringfromthelionofjudah Was your husband a virgin?
I love the openness and honesty about these questions, it's so great to talk about! However, when you say "make your home your husband's paradise" I totally understand what you mean, but what if I work too? I want us both to have a peaceful place when we get home but I'm also not a stay at home wife/mom.
I'd say to just pray and listen to worship on your way home releasing all stress from work to God and being a ray of positivity when you guys both get off of work.
This whole video I was like "Yes. Absolutely! Totally agree. Amen to that!" Thank you for sharing this advice Sarah! It is so helpful to have such a good and healthy perspective shared
I love this video!! I wish I had come across something like this sooner. I grew up being told that women don't like sex as much as men and in many cases I saw most of the women in my life treating sex like a burden to them. Then I grew up and got married. I have been married for 4 months now and I dated my husband for 4 and a half years before we got married but I learned that I'm the one in the relationship that takes initiative most and I'm the one "dropping hints" first. Im super thankful because I feared sex for years and years thinking it would be this painful annoying thing that I'd be forced to do to keep my future husband happy. I hope if I have kids that ill be able to teach them about sex in a more positive way. So that they won't fear it like I did.
Same
YES 👏👏👏 to pretty much this whole comment! I was in a very similar place leading up to marriage. I'm so thankful for God's Word, biblical books on the subject, and frank conversations with a couple Christian women I am friends with. It really helped me get over my misconceptions and fears regarding sex.
Ok, I've debated myself on whether or not I should comment this because 1: I really do love and appreciate Sarah's videos and I'm not wanting to cause disruption and the purpose isn't to make her feel horrible and 2: I honestly don't like to say negative things about people on the internet because I don't know them personally and I always try to be charitable when pointing an error out and say it in private to the specific person (which is obviously not possible in this case), but it's been bugging me and bugging me and I want to comment this so that anyone else who feels this way knows she is not alone.
Sarah started the video out by saying that she didn't think Christian communities talked about sex enough in a positive way and that we often weren't fed with the proper knowledge (I'm paraphrasing) so that is what she wanted to do in this video - AWESOME! I totally agree and am here for that message!
But then she goes on to say that some of the questions people submitted were TMI and definitely gave the impression that people went too far (facial expression, tone of voice, etc.). At least that is definitely how it came across to me.
The question I submitted was not answered and I realize that could be for various reasons, but it was more of a practical and blunt question than the ones answered in the video. Most questions answered in this video were not very explicit and were much more general. Again that's not a problem.
My problem is that so many women have shame and embarrassment around their sex questions and they don't feel as though they have anyone to ask because they will seem dirty or immoral, so when Sarah posted on IG and said she would be making a video about sex and to ask her our questions I remember her giving the impression that all questions are welcome and that she would *REALLY* get into it. So I asked her a question that I have been too timid to ask anyone else because she was giving me the idea that no question was wrong or "TMI" and that Christians needed to talk about this stuff! Finally - someone who I felt supported by and felt comfortable enough to ask my question!
Then when she said in the video that we should have 'seen some of the questions she got' I immediately felt shame and embarrassment that I had asked her the question I did. I messaged her on IG apologizing for asking the question I did, and I just felt horrible. I don't expect an answer from her on IG as I have never received any messages back from her in the past but that also could be for so many reasons, so in no way do I hold that against her! I'm just saying I'm not waiting to post this comment until I hear back from Sarah. Even though I figured she probably would never see my IG message anyway I felt so badly that I needed to make sure I did everything I could to directly apologize.
Then I thought about it some more and then some more and more after that, and I realized that, even though I still felt dirty, immoral, ashamed and embarrassed - I shouldn't. My question was definitely about sex and not just the general "how do you set the mood", "how do you make time" kind of question, it was specific. But isn't that her point? That Christians shy away from the specifics of sex and talking about it and that that isn't good? Isn't that why she wants to make this video and have us ask her questions that we have? I have no issue whatsoever if someone has a general, PG type of question and she answers it, not at all! But I also don't think she should have an issue with those who asked the more detailed or blunt questions because she never set boundaries around what kind of questions were welcome and then to make that comment just sets back the entire mission: make talking about sex a comfortable thing to talk about for Christian women because it IS beautiful, God made it and we should feel good about discovering this gift that God gave us!
Which is why I am so confused that she recommends the book Sheet Music, because I have read that book and it goes into *very explicit* detail about so many areas of sex, areas that I think many Christian women feel ashamed and embarrassed to talk about, but it definitely goes as deep if not deeper into detail then the question I was asking. So she recommends reading that kind of material and praises the book for being so direct and honest but then she still makes the comment that some questions are TMI.
Again, I understand there could have been several reasons for Sarah not answering my specific question - she probably got thousands! And I know that she had to re-film the video because she was initially worried it would get demonetized for being too explicit so obviously she has toned this video down. But at the same time she definitely did not need to make that comment, as I'm sure I'm not the only one who now feels/felt ashamed and once again feels/felt like we can't REALLY talk about the sex questions we have because we are too dirty or immoral or the only ones thinking about this aspect.
At the end of the day I am now hesitant again (after working so hard to overcome embarrassment, shame, negativity, etc. around sex) to ask questions I really want to know and understand. I had felt like she was really opening the door to us and genuinely saying 'yes! YOUR question - ask it! It's worth talking about!' and now I do not feel that way. I feel as though I can only ask questions that are general and PG. But again, I know that that's not true and that my question IS worth talking about and it's NOT dirty or immoral, it's just simply not talked about in the Christian community! Except, ironically, by Dr. Kevin Leman, who wrote Sheet Music, although my question was slightly varied from what he wrote and that's why I asked Sarah.
SO! The reason I felt I really did need to comment this and not just keep it to myself is so that any other woman who felt the same way after the TMI part will 1: know that they are not alone and others were asking blunt questions too, and 2: that you should not feel dirty, ashamed, embarrassed, immoral, etc. Your question is worth answering and know that 100% you are not the first and you won't be the last to wonder about it. I also encourage you to read Sheet Music. It may not answer all your questions, but it can help a lot! However, like some others, my husband and I disagreed with a few things Dr. Leman wrote as well so we also encourage you to read it carefully with your faith as the foundation :)
Once more - this is comment is NOT to hate on Sarah, though I do hope she reads this and realizes that she should have left out that comment. We are all human and I know she would never intend to hurt someone on purpose. I am still very grateful for this video, for all her videos in the past, and will still continue to watch, learn from, and enjoy her future videos! I support Sarah on IG and YT by sharing her videos, liking them, commenting on them, I've been subscribed for so many years now, and I wish her only good things! I have so much love for Sarah and her beautiful, faithful family
I applaud you for the beauty in which your comment was written. I hope you don't feel ashamed in asking a question. If you feel comfortable asking the question here maybe someone can answer it for you. 🤗❤❤❤
Please feel free to ask me ANY question through my IG! My handle is @my.sweet.rosella and you have absolutely nothing to be ashamed of. I believe sex should be discussed openly and in detail, to avoid these boxes of silence and half-hearted conversation that only leave women with more unanswered questions ❤️
No questions should be off limits. My IG is llynleblanc and I am a married Christian woman (25 years) who happens to be a nurse.
See all these wonderful people ready to help. 😀🤗
Hi Nancy, just a reminder that Sarah said at the beginning that youtube did not give her a great chance by answering more detailed questions because otherwise the video would be taken down or demonitized. Maybe your question was one of them:)
Thank you for this! ❤️ I LOVE that you mention at the end how it is the husband’s job to prepare his wife for sex in the small things. That daily pursuit. My husband and I have struggled in this area for our entire marriage. All of the Christian advice on sex that I have received my whole life has been “submit, submit, submit...” and give him sex when he wants it, never denying him because my body belongs to him, and then he isn’t held accountable for his own actions. It makes me so angry that this is the message that’s been told. There is some truth but, oh, how misunderstood it is!!! I love that more Christian women are starting to speak the truth on this topic because it’s such a huge part of marriage that God designed for our good, yet so many are afraid to talk about it and then let the world define sex for us.
Speaking from a wife who’s married to a husband with a sex addiction, it has taken me 5 years to realize that it’s not my fault that he looks at porn. it’s not my fault that I don’t feel like having sex when he wants to. It’s not my fault that he is tempted to look at every other woman when we go out, comparing me to them... I was told for so long that if only I did A, B and C that my husband wouldn’t be so tempted anymore. Well, I did do A, B and C and it didn’t solve the problem. I think a lot of it was well-meaning, but it also was said without much understanding of what was truly going on in our marriage.
So all that to say, thank you for making the point that it’s our husband’s role to pursue us and prepare us for intimacy, instead of just expecting us to wait on their hand and foot. What you shared is actually what passages in the New Testament on God’s design for submission, towards husbands and the Lord, and giving husbands the command to love their wives and live with them in knowledge and understanding. It’s like we skip that part!
Scripture says for us to evoke our wives beauty so we should do that throughout the day for the women but as for initiating sex it sounds like such a turn off if she'd never initiate it which makes sense because in the songs of solomon it showed she clearly desired his love and invited him to make love so that goes both ways. If your husband watches porn you should really worry about his salvation because he's likely lukewarm and never truly repented and gave his life to Christ. When the holy spirit which saves us from hell comes into us it gives us self control so if he's doing that all week that wouldn't be a spirit of self control but a man who's heart goes after it's own lustful desires. I'd take your problems to some church elders asap.
Love this video. I got married at 19 (almost 10 years ago! Yikes!) and grew up in a Christian home and I think because all that was talked about was abstaining from sex it made things tricky to navigate. So important to lift up other young women with resources we didn’t have!
Same here! Though I’ve been married for almost 18 years now. I grew up in the whole purity culture.
A great book is The Good Girls Guide to Great Sex by Sheila Gregoire. She has really been tearing into the Christian view of sex and looking at it from a truly biblical perspective.
Mom of 4 with 5th on the way. TOTALLY agree about Post pardum sex being great. It’s like it’s between new people after the dramatic life change you’ve both just gone through.
Sex after having my son was totally incredible. I see on fb women refusing sex for MONTHS. I don’t get it tbh
@@aliceheeley3112 it definitely makes me sad to think of a marriage going that long without.
@Miriam Combe How does it feel like to be able to deliver so many babies?
My midwife straight up said to wait 6weeks+ postpartum for any penetration to promote optimal healing, which would lead to the best intimacy in the longer term.
Uh yeah? 6 weeks is the standard after having a baby.
Just to expand on intimacy post partum, you are not a failure if you don’t want to have sex even after 6 weeks post partum. I wasn’t ready until about 15 weeks! Between healing from a severe tear, being a first time mama, being sleep deprived, and settling into my body after birth, I just wasn’t ready. 🤷🏻♀️ And I think waiting more than 6 weeks PP is more common than what is talked about.
Yes! I had an episiotomy which was fine, but it definitely made things uncomfortable for a good three months, so I'm always shocked when people say they were ready within a few weeks. 😆
Not going to lie this was a difficult video for me to watch from a non-religious and feminist stand point, but thank you for sharing your perspectives. I try my best to stay open minded to others’ opinions and beliefs.
I agree from my perspective but at the same time I think there are a lot of people on the conservative Christian side that really need to hear this message and I think she talks about it really well!
which part was difficult for you?
if you dont mind me asking, what part was difficult for you ?
@@abenaoseii Its difficult for me too since as women it is preached we are more sentimental than sexual and that men are more sexual than sentimental. Sounds sexist and untrue as BOTH can be sexual and sentimental. Its like christianity likes to put men as hungry horn dogs and us as delicate sentimental sweet creatures. We are as human as men but somehow we want to portray an image of not being sexual, never thinking about sex, never masturbating, never having lustful thoughts, never watching porn, never fantasizing about sex, etc. It just doesn’t help. If men want sex and we don’t then men are wrong and should respect us when we say no. If they want it they should jump through fiery hoops. If by miracle we are the ones who want it and they don’t then…”they are wrong too” for not catering to our needs and therefore they should once again jump through fiery hoops. I rather hear about sex from non-religious sources as christian sources sound quite sexist.
@@laylalayla6630 as a Christian I have to say that's untrue. The bible makes us all look like "horny dogs", not just men. The bible teaches that sexual relations are to be kept between you and your partner. Because to do otherwise spreads your spirit amongst different people, similar to how Israel would share itself with other nations which shall dilude your purity. Which let me add, the bible teaches spiritual purity. Sex outside of monogamy, is considered immoral. Because it's flesh based, and the desire of is impure and self governing. For those outside of the spirit this can be incredibly condemning. But that's only because of the truth of the understanding and the conviction of heart we all have since we were created by something pure to be as pure. Humans are sentimental and sexual. The fact is, the more partners you have sexually outside of monogamy the more damaged your spirit is to repair in the spirit. This is all to help you prepare in purity so that you can be accepted in purity.
I still feel dirty/sinful after sex, even though I'm married. It's just a consequence of the toxic purity culture that I was raised in.
Oh my goodness same, my mom use to drill it in my head to be very protective over my virginity.
Pray about it with a lot of intention(if you aren't already). Maybe there's something in your sex life that God wants you to change or look closer at :)
I can relate! It went away for us with a few years, but you might want to talk to your pastor/a mentor at church who you trust who can talk you through this. If you're married, God made this. This is also the only way to bring a small human to earth, which is one of Gods amazing gifts to us. I'm assuming you've talked to your spouse about it, but it really is tough. Pray about it, seek help, you've got this :)
I’ve struggled with this too. Sheila Gregoire is an author who talks about this a lot, as well as other harmful “Christian” teaching on sex.
Read The Great Sex Rescue by Shelia Wray Gregoire. Life changing especially if you grew up in purity culture.
Thank you for sharing, Sarah. I can't agree more with most of what you have shared. My husband and I got married at 25 and we were still virgins after dating for 4 years. We have been married for 13 years and sex only gets better because we have allowed ourselves to learn and grow together. There was never any comparison and it is was beautiful. 😊
That’s so beautiful. Bless y’all!!!
YES 👏👏👏
I love it when Christian women talk openly about sex in a respectful and God-honoring way. It doesn't happen enough! I was raised in a Christian home but sex was treated like a bad word. I was exposed to sex via kids' vulgar conversation and pornography, so my view of sex was that it was a dirty, sinful thing. I wanted nothing to do with it for the longest time. It took God working in my heart, a biblically based book on the subject, and some frank conversations with a couple Christian women I know to get me in the right mindset about sex. Been married 3 years to the greatest man I know and I never knew intimacy could be this awesome! We waited for each other and have followed God's standards and it has truly been the most incredible blessing.
Definitely joining together intimately isn’t just physical. It’s two souls becoming one and confirming you are still one. ❤️
This is probably my favorite wife talk video you've done. I will be showing this to my partner when I get engaged. If you did a podcast on spotify or something, you could talk about those deeper things without getting demonetized. Many of us would love to listen.
I recently got a second chance with my husband of 8 years and boy oh boy has it been hard but so rewarding by the end of the day! Marriage is so hard but I wouldn't change a thing.
I’m an agnostic/atheist but I really loved what you said about sex being a way to say “I do” over and over again! That’s so romantic!!
More podcasts: “Fierce Marriage”, “Naked Marriage”, “Marriage After God”, and “Courageous Parenting”.... SO GOOD!
I love that you included preparing the home as a sanctuary.
I am a Muslim and I have the exact same mindset as you which made me feel very connected to you although I come from a different background🤍
same!
Same!
What lol?
In Islam a woman (wife) doesn't bring anything to the table.
@@fathergascoigne1368 - Trust me, neither does the husband. He is mainly looking for sexual gratification. That’s why he has more than one wife.
@Abi Nomac I get it, your husband clearly took a second wife and now you're hurt. Don't worry it will all be ok.
Being a Muslim, this was video was really informative and worth watching. I married young as well and this will help me a lot.
There is no role and responsibilities of a wife in Islam.
You should watch related to motherhood because that is the only role married woman play in Islam.
Also, marriage in Islam is just a business contract.
@@fathergascoigne1368 wow you know a lot about Islam. I am assuming you are an Imam then.
@@anushkajamal
I am Muslim
@@fathergascoigne1368 okay ‘Father’ gascoigne
@@anushkajamal
Father Gascoigne is the name of a fictional character of a game.
Foreplay to sex happens from the moment we wake up. Each spouse going out of their way to feed each others love language all day leading up to that moment of physical connection.
Well said !!
I'm not a believer and I've always been cautious when a believer talked about sex because sometimes it can be intense and not as nuanced as you've presented it. The way you talk about sex is amazing. It is so down to earth, realistic and applicable to partnerships and marriages even outside of a Christian home. I really enjoyed this video and thank you so much for sharing it!
Hi! Jesus loves you and wants a relationship with you! He wants to be your best friend.
@@chisom2874 don't proselytize to those who don't want it
@@illvminatvs3194 I didn’t want it but I changed my mind and repented
I appreciate that we can talk about this. I’m an adult married woman and I’m not going to be ashamed of enjoying intimacy with my husband.
@Deborah A Amen to that. Sex should not be shameful or dirty when it’s enjoyed in a marriage. Because it’s the main form of bonding among spouses and it’s also something which is necessary to procreate. Sex is a sacred act that married couples need to enjoy as often as they both desire because it is a way of honouring God when we use what he created in the correct way to give our spouse sexual pleasure. Both the penis and vagina are designed by God to fit nicely during sexual intercourse so that both persons get enough pleasure. And the very moment two persons decide to get married, it’s the beginning of a new life which changes from two individuals to being as one flesh. Sexual intercourse is a good representation of the two joining as one flesh. From the moment two individuals come together, the penis and vagina are joined during sex and the sperms from the man are released into the woman who absorbs them to fertilise her egg and a new individual is formed out of genetic material from the man and woman. As christians, sex should be a beautiful act once we get married and women have to submit and surrender their body to her husband as a form of love. It’s sad that many women get married but want to avoid sex.
I hear so many Christian women say to just have sex anyway when your not in the mood. That it doesn’t matter if you want to or not, it’s your duty as a wife. That’s so toxic to me and I’m so glad you didn’t say that!
She has before so maybe her view on that changed
She has referred to that in a past video.
I hope she’s changed her stance on that. That mind set is gross in my opinion. Yes, we need to have sex with our spouses but they should help get us in the mood and not expect us to jump to it whenever they want. And it’s ok to say no if we don’t want to.
There's a book that recently came out that, I believe, touches on this topic (and more). It's called The Great Sex Rescue.
"Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by AGREEMENT for a LIMITED time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control." - I Corinthians 7:5
As Sarah mentions in this video, sex is a way to bond with your husband. And if you are not in the mood, why not? Are you tired? Angry? Frustrated? Is sex painful for you? (If so, please consult a doctor.) But if you are "not in the mood" regularly, then sex may not be the issue. There are many marriages in which husbands (and wives) are denied sex by their spouses for years! While many spouses faithfully suffer in silence, many look for comfort outside of their marriage. This is why the aforementioned verse is so important. God created sex as a way to build intimacy between husband and wife, inside and outside the bedroom. Practically speaking (and from a Christian worldview), you and your husband signed up for monogamy. That means sex with each other and no one else. And if you want to remain married, then sexual intimacy is part of the deal. (Song of Songs, anyone?)
Back to the original point, if you are not in the mood at that time, reschedule. Don't just say no or claim to "have a headache." If sex is important to your husband, you love him, and care about his happiness, figure it out together. If you are harboring some resentment toward him, pray about it first. Then, lovingly, talk to your husband (using "I", more often than "you"). Communication - verbal, non-verbal, and physical - is imperative in a healthy, happy, godly marriage.
Oh, and one more for the road: "For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but her husband does. LIKEWISE the husband does not have authority over his own body, but his wife does." - I Corinthians 7:4 (And, because context matters, I would suggest reading I Corinthians 7:1-16. It is one of many great passages about how to have and maintain a godly marriage. God wants his children to have marriages that honor Him (and so do I).
God bless.
lol sheet music was totally something we had to read in our premarital counselling, side note: I highly recommend pre marital counselling EVEN if you're not Christian. It helped so much in those early years
Sadly most people don't care about marriage these day's
One of the best parts of this video for me is how you validated the joys and advantages of saving yourselves for each other until your wedding night. God bless you
It’s funny they’ll play “WAP” on RUclips but you can’t talk about it 🤣😂
As someone who struggled with sexual difficulty in the first year of marriage (young Christian virgins) I am particularly passionate about talking about this more openly.
Two great books are The Act of Marriage by Tim Lahaye (co written with his wife) and Love Your Husband, Love Yourself by Deborah Flanders.
The Act of Marriage by the LaHayes was soooooo great! My husband had a copy and I had one. We read it before we got married. I gave this book to my nieces before they got married. So helpful!
Unpopular opinion...but when hubby wants some and you aren’t in the mood, sometimes giving in and choosing to love him (obviously this doesn’t work all the time), blesses him and in turn blesses me. And 99% of the time I get in the mood within 5 minutes 🤷🏻♀️
💯💯💯
Same .
I love these types of videos, Sarah! I do find it interesting that most times I hear sex brought up by Christians, the statement, "the church doesn't talk about sex enough", and drawing those "us" versus "them" contrasts. I believe that you talking about biblical sex and wifehood with other believers (myself included) is indeed the church talking about it, because all believers make up the church of Christ. It bums me out to continually hear the church referred to as "them" and being thrown under the bus for the things we believe it lacks, when we ARE the church and we have the power of the Holy Spirit within us to step into into those God-honoring conversations about what needs to be talked about. But you talking about it is the church talking about it, and it's so good for all of us to hear and engage with! What are your thoughts on this?
Saving yourself till marriage is tough. It is hard meeting someone who wants that too. 😔 But I'm staying strong. Praise God!
I'm proud of you Hannah!So worth the wait! Still waiting myself, I am content. Waiting on God.
When you stop waiting.. then they will show up :)
Waited myself, it was worth every frustration ❤️
For me it’s not that hard because I’m not interested in sex but what I’m worried about is if I do get married will I still be uninterested in sex
I would like to add that it isn’t just wives preparing the home, I know many couples where the wife works and the the husband stays at home.
I couldn’t agreed more. My dad had guillain barre when I was 15. We thought he wouldn’t make it but he did, unfortunately he wasn’t able to work since then so he stayed at home. My mom was the one working and I loved it... both were extremely supportive to each other. Even now that my mom is retired my dad is still on charge of the house and the bills 🤍 (btw sorry if my English isn’t great hehehe)
Your English is very good. No worries! ~ Anastacia in Cleveland
@@AnastaciaInCleveland Thank you so much
Sarah is the big sister we all need in our lives.🥰
I relate to this so much. My husband was my first everything. I had no idea what was possible, and even 7 years in we discover new things about each other.💖
"Do you ever regret not having previous experience"
Heck no. More like traumatized from previous partners is more like it. Psychological and physical damage never really goes away. I feel like couples not saving themselves for marriage is a big part of marital problems 💔 personal experience🙋🏻♀️ Being young surprisingly was not at all an issue with my husband either, we have literally grown up and are now growing old together 💕
So good, this is so encouraging!! So true, God made it that way for a reason 😁🙌
Love when you post these videos! As a single, Christian woman (who used to be incredibly uncomfortable at the idea of sex due to growing up in a very conservative home) I appreciate your initiative to talk about sex from a healthy Christian perspective. Thanks for your honesty! ❤️
Sex is a Pure Life force ❤
im not christian nor do i even believe in god, but i do love your incredibly grounded insights and your openness. thank you
You may not believe in Him but I can tell you He believes in you! And boy, does He love you!❤️
@@jazzmynh.5215 this made me cry, thank you
@@lena-aline 💕
@@lena-aline Have you gave Jesus a chance yet? You seem open minded I hope you do sister🙏🏼❤
Great stuff! The only thing I’d say I disagree with is making your home a paradise for you husband. I’d say make your home a paradise for your husband the best you can in the stage you’re in without letting it drive you nuts or stress you out too much. As a mom it’s just not easy to always have the house perfect. And my husband COMPLETELY understands and often does a lot of the house stuff himself when we are in phases of life where it’s just impossible for me. He agrees that me being good mentally is much better than a perfect home!
I totally see what you're saying here. And I definitely don't have kids yet, so I don't know how much work it takes to clean a house where kiddos live. I am a married college kid, though, and it's hard to keep the house clean sometimes!
Just wanted to hop on to be encouraging and say that I think you can also create a "paradise" for you and your husband with things other than a clean house! Like speaking kindly and asking him about his day or if he needs some time alone (like my husband who is a major introvert), then trying to meet his love languages. In this way, you can still create an environment where he feels loved and glad to be there even if there are dishes and kids toys and other things! 🌿🌿🌿
I interpreted what she was saying as make your home and inviting and comfortable environment for your husband (as in welcome him home in a loving way after a long day of work and don’t be a nagging wife because no one wants to come home to that) not as make sure the house is always clean and dinner is on the table when he gets home. Paradise is not just the way something looks on the outside but how it makes you feel aka calm and relaxed
If she added every little cavyiot there is to this video, it would have been 3 hours long.
What you said is implied. She gave a general point not an entire dissertation. Take it as such.
@@madeline9042 I love this you made me happy that there's such considerate Godly women out there with this mentality😇
Ah!! I love when Christian women feel called to talk openly about sex. It lifts such a heavy veil and makes everyone safer and happier. Thank you for doing this! I’d love a podcast of a Christian woman talking about difficult topics- this is what we need!
@Audrey Laughrey Amen to that. It’s just so weird that we Christians are so afraid of talking about sex when it’s a gift from God for our enjoyment in a marriage. It is good to hear more Christians talk openly about sex. Because sex is a normal thing in marriage because we bond with our spouse in a special way through the sacred act of sexual intercourse. Also, we have sex to procreate just like how other animals do the same. We should learn to accept the fact that once we get married, we need to put our sexual organs to use because they were made for that purpose. Marriage is the opening of a new chapter in life where our body is no longer kept to ourself. Instead, we are to give it fully to our spouse so that they can enjoy the pleasure that they desire while also letting us enjoy it.
Yea, thats what we need alright. Going to church and seeing beautiful women talk about how they love sex. Right, thats gonna really help men out with their lust and porn problem.
4:37
In one of your videos you had said you would never title one of your video in a click-bait way and the example you used was “how we almost divorced.” Some people probably took that as “wait, they almost divorced?” And the way you explained it did kinda sound like y’all had thought about it. I think that is what some people are referring to!! Glad you continue to clarify that divorce is not an option for you two. So wonderful to see and hear!
Loved the concept of making our homes our husband's paradise. That's beautiful! Very excited to work on this.
Thank you for your honesty and transparency. I have been married for 16 years and it is easy to forget about what brought us together to start. It is easy to let the fire die out.
The book Sheet Music has a lot of good points, but my husband and I did not agree with everything, so maybe take it with a grain of salt.
Agree! Look into the survey Sheila Wray Gregoire did with over 20,000 Christian women. Many listed Sheet Music and many other Christian sex books as something that harmed them. She's working hard to change the way marriage books talk about sex!
@@hmatson3127 I took part in that survey but found a lot of the questions were very leading. I had a good upbringing when it comes to sexually education and my church also contributed in a very healthy way to my understanding of sex and marriage. I found Shelia's survey was more directed for people who had a poor sexual education.
Shelia shares the same teachings as Kevin Leman does in his book about masturbation and those I disagree with.
As with anything, we should be reading our Bibles and praying, then acting as we feel lead.
How did it harm them? I'm interested to read it but what's in it that is bad?
I'm never going to understand this Christian perspective. Guess what? Sex exists outside heteronormativity. Queer love and marriage exists. To speak in this manner to ignore queer love and sex is such an act of cruelty and hatred. You can frame it in peace and love and say it's just your religion, but this is a cop out. My marriage happens to include a man and a woman. But there is no way in the world I'll be teaching our children it's the only way to live on this earth. Love is love people.
YES!!
Finally someone that speaks the truth here!!
This isnt how it should be. We were created by God. And God created marriage to be between a man and woman. Our sinful flesh and the fall of humanity has perverted this and people went after unnatural lusts. But the Bible and Jesus preaches against homosexuality
"Make your home your husbands paradise" I have to say I disagree with you here...
It should be more something like "Create a home WITH your husband that you BOTH feel like in paradise"
Why should I as a woman feel responsible for the place we both live in. what if I work as well and come home after a long day? I think it should be teamwork!
And to be honest, it is also MY home so I have to feel comfortable and good living in it!
1000%
She is coming from her perspective as a wife. What she sees as her responsibility. I can promise you if Kieran made a video on the topic of a Christian husband it would be to please her and make her home/life a paradise. It goes both ways. Marriage is sacrificial. So yes it is our jobs as woman to make our husbands feel as comforted as possible but it is also there responsibility to do the same. Everyone is listening to only half of what she’s saying.
@@nel9732 yeah I totally get that and I agree with you :) And I also know that Sarah and Kieran work a lot together in their home. I just would have wished her to say that at least ;) to mention both sides, hers as a wife and Kierans as a husband.
@@carlaruckerl4883 I think she did touch on it though I’d have to rewatch to give you a time stamp though 😝
@@nel9732 It's okay :D
I'm crying through this! Thank you for everything! I know I can work on making my home a paradise and also communicating with my husband more. Thank you!
I love that you reminded people “God created sex.” God is not a prude; sex has its sacred place in marriage. God is totally a romantic, and it makes Him happy to see husband & wife happy and in love.
As a Christian wife and mother: I just love this video!! Thank you so much!
I have just found your channel and I really enjoy that finally somebody really seeks the will of God and does what he wants! You seem like someone who is born again and trying to do what Jesus wants and also communicates biblical thinking very clearly. That makes me happy! 🥰
Thanks for this ! I am the “Kieran” in the relationship but sometimes need to remember he’s not always in the mood . ESP of there are other things going on in the home
Same here lol
Make the house your husbands paradise? What if you’re out working all day too?
@@SarahTherese Fair enough, as long as he equally made the home a paradise for you. I just hate it when people don’t realize there are many homes where it’s the woman who’s tired from work, and the husband stays home
@@gabriellemilner6646 i absolutely agree!
Such a valuable point. Something to consider is that a healthy relationship will have both parties doing this. Your husband should be making the home just as welcoming for you as you do for him. I’ve been in an abusive marriage where my ex told me I needed to have the house perfectly cleaned, cook all the meals, take care of his needs, etc. all while I was working 3 jobs (80 hours a week) and he was working 1 part time job (30 hours a week). That’s not the situation Sarah is highlighting or supporting here. It’s this mindset of making the home a happy escape for your spouse, not doing 100% of the chores. Though if you love doing chores and have the time for it, I’m sure that would be good too!
I actually was the only earner our first year of marriage while my husband finished his degree. I found it helpful just asking him what was important to him. It turns out that basic chores that irritated me didn’t even phase him but he really cared about knowing what was for dinner at the start of the day not 30 mins before hand. He also really appreciated having a few minutes to himself when he got home if he’d been in lectures because as a introvert he just wanted to decompress. Also greeting him with a hug and kiss won me major points (physical touch is his love language).
I'm sad it wasn't mentioned that this should happen both ways. My husband should also make our home our paradise for me and for the both of us to enjoy. What a huge responsibility it would be for a wife to focus on her husbands needs without focusing on herself or without her husband also focus on her needs.
Ooooo this vid is bout to BLOW UP. 🙌🤣
My boyfriend and I happened to be virgins when we got together. We aren’t married, but we had dated others before us, yet happened to have accidentally “waited” for eachother. I get the feeling that despite me not being religious and wanting to wait till marriage, I may coincidentally only ever tie myself to one person
@tylerlee27 we are still together and soon to celebrate 4 years together! not married yet xx
@tylerlee27 in all honestly, we are only turning 21 this year. Just a bit young and also kind of waiting for older siblings to have their moments with engagement and such.
@tylerlee27 I went to a lutheran college high school where we went to chapel every day and grew up a "church but only on the big holidays and for kids club" kinda family. But I stopped being religious at 12 and as a queer person who is a) a studying scientist and b) anti oppression, I'd say it's still not my scene. I know far too many victims of the church to support it
I plan on teaching my future children that "sex is not a no but a not yet". I also love being married young because it gave us the opportunity to grow a life together rather than smash 2 established lifestyles of adults together. I feel like we had to grow closer to figure out how to navigate being independent
Just for anyone who works as well, when Sarah was discussing “make your home your husbands paradise” this is possible when you are working. We both work full time and I’m a full time student, but I try to make sure that the home is cozy and relaxing.
Thank you for being willing to speak of sex biblically! Intimacy is beautiful when it is between a husband and wife and our culture has distorted it so badly. It’s refreshing to hear this!
Intimacy is also beautiful happening between non married life partners 🥰
Also, I'm not sure I can agree that a man should expect his wife to keep the home a "paradise" in return for his just staying employed. Holding down a job is not that big of an achievement or burden for our generation. Stay-at-home moms have enough to worry about with raising all his kids, doing all the shopping, and keeping the place sanitary and picked up. If his career is so draining that his wife has to construct an elaborate, luxurious landing pad for him to stay sane, then he needs to find a better-fitting job. If he were a bachelor, he'd be living like a slob anyway.
Hey there! Every marriage is different, and I can’t read Sarah’s mind lol, but I think she was saying that it is a worthy goal for a wife, not necessarily a good EXPECTATION for a husband, if that makes sense.
Wow! You read SO MUCH MORE into this that she said or implied!
Such a great video! There are some things I can work on for sure, especially the home Paradies part. Being married at 19, I too felt akward, ashamed and like it was "wrong" ecerytine we had sex. Even though purity culture isn't that big of a thing in german churches.
It took a few YEARS to get rid of these feelings. And about the post partum sex: we waited 2-3 months after every kid, and he was very understanding and dint want me to "have" to have sex when I'm not entirely ready again. But there's always other things you can do to be intimate, just not the actual intercours. So we did a lot of that to bridge those months and were even more exited to finally have the almost "first" time again. I can relate to so much of what Sarah said here!
I feel that it is a blessing for people to be married young. They get many more years to enjoy God’s gift of sex. Society has sent the wrong message to many people about sex. God’s view on sex is that it is holy, pleasing and enjoyable as long as it is done within a marriage. How do you cope with having sex after giving birth? Like do your children intrude into your privacy halfway and how do you handle their questions?
People ask about you and Kieran almost divorcing because in a husband and wife Q&A you were talking about how other couples use clickbait in their videos and you said "we aren't going to use this video as clickbait by talking about the time we almost divorced" etc etc. Obviously this was just an example of the type of content other couples use, but it did sound like you may have been talking about yourselves -- just a misunderstanding!
Yeah... I also misunderstood the previous video and when you said we never thought about it, I was like wait a minute... but I am glad it has been a misunderstanding and that you guys never even thought about it! ♥️ Love from Sri Lanka
@@SarahTherese Thank you for clearly this up! I thought the same thing. Loved this video! Xoxo
I definitely enjoyed this: I was hoping u made this soon and it literally happened today it’s like you were in my brain bc I needed this reminder and encouragement
As a christian newlywed, this stuff is SO important! There was so much I didn't know the first week of our marriage because the church just doesn't talk about it. Please keep making these videos even if RUclips yells at you for it haha!
I Love this! My husband and I are also believers and abstained before marriage. We ended up investing in a book called “The gift of Sex” which was so helpful. It literally gave us permission to finally be intimate. 🙌🏾
So true with having only one partner for life! I have seen people write on Reddit how they are just pining away for the sexual experience that an ex gave them that they can't be happy in their current marriage 🤦🏼🤦🏼🤦🏼
When you started talking about postpartum sex I thought you were going to say it was the worst 😅 I was so scared! But in reality, everything you said about it actually excited me for postpartum sex, and I’m way more comforted by the thought of it now! Some people make it sound so awful, it’s hard not to picture the worst.
I love this video. Commenting for engagement 👌💖
I'm 19 and have a really weird obsession with learning how people create a mentally healthy home together as a couple. I love taking tips from videos just like this and watching the positivity grow between my partner and I.
START the podcast. As a Christian I feel like i can listen to you without having to keep my guard up❤
Both partners equally Owe & are Morally Obligated to TAKE CARE of each-others Emotional needs & desires.
And yes woman you OWE him sexual intimacy ‼️
“Let’s hydrate ourselves in this video” yasss 😂 love this video and thank you for talking about this! 💛
I love how you and Milena shout each other out all the time! Love both of you and your advice
The common advice for guys is ” prepare her for x throughout the day ” while I think it’s great advice. It’d just like to add, it should be included that they should do this other days too otherwise it just feels like it’s just on “those”days and it doesn’t feel authentic.
I 100% relate on the having the housework done before being intimate! Also I like yo be bodily clean. Even if I had a shower that same morning... I feel dirty by the end of the day... it's hard for me to understand when my husband is ok with the dirt of the day being on me.
Is manually stimulating one’s wife morally permissible within the regular marital act to help her finish if she didn’t during vaginal intercourse?
100% would be down for a podcast from you and learning from you with those harder topics!
I am engaged, getting married this summer, my fiancé and I are both virgins. While I’m not necessarily afraid of having sex i have heard so many negative stories and experiences that have caused me to feel slightly anxious about how it will be. Watching the videos you have made and surrounding myself with healthy Christian relationships in that context has helped me so much! And simply talking with my fiancé about these things and expressing my concerns has helped. Ive been able to see his heart for me and his genuine desire to please me as well..
Also Sarah, these types of videos are my favourite as I see your solid faith shine through! It is so encouraging!!
36 here mama of 5 boys!! I very much enjoy all your videos. Such great topics and great variety of topics you touch on. Your glowing girly, always looking absolutely stunning. Sending hellos from Anchorage Alaska
Tschandra Heinze
I am not Christian, but my hubby and I have only been together and it’s been a hell of an experience ❤️❤️ 100% glad I never had any other partners.
I really loved the part where you talked about making your home your husbands paradise. I needed to be reminded of that ❤️ I have 2 young kids and I work full time and I feel like a lot of the times when my husband comes home from working I kind of bombard him because I feel overwhelmed. What you spoke about reminded me that he was mine first and I need to take care of him as well ❤️ thank you, I love watching your videos, you are an inspiration!
Don't forget that your husband can also help and you're a team! You work full time, too and that's a lot of pressure to put on yourself. You're worthy of a break too ♥️
when you were almost preaching in the beginning, there was so much anointing, woah sarah! your maturity and wisdom at your age is mind blowing.
I literally freezed when Sarah started talking about drinking water XD
I have been procrastinating going up to get my water bottle for like two hours... I guess I needed that reminder lol
As someone that is not religious I find it very interesting to hear your perspective on this.
I'm not married but I do live with my boyfriend of 13 years and I had many people asking me if I wasn't afraid I'll regret settling in so young, if I don't feel curious about being with other people and you know, I totally agree with you: there's something special about being with one single person all your life. Call me a hopeless romantic but I feel so fortunate for having found the love of my life at the age of 17 and I don't think I'm missing out on anything.
I felt that pressure when I was a teenager/young adult from friends, class mates, work colleagues, family even to "enjoy life", to "experiment" and not settle for my boyfriend at such a young age. But I decided to follow my heart instead of following other people's views on what it means to be young and enjoy life 💛
Thank you for your insight, Sarah❤
As an unmarried young woman at 22, I find being intimate as an important thing during marriage and it is God's gift to married couples. This needs to be talked about more, since in my culture discussing topics such as sex with the younger generation is sometimes still considered a taboo. People need to have a healthier view on what sex really is and not just consider it as something wrong. It's something tremendously beautiful, as it is created by our Heavenly Father.
So I thank you for saying that❤
Also, I love your videos. I hope you all are doing really really well and may yoy have a blessed day onwards!
@@tylerlee27 hello Tyler. Yes, there has been someone in my life even before I posted this comment, haha!
@@tylerlee27 most definitely!
@@tylerlee27 thank you but we're still in the process of getting to know one another (he's one of my best friends, currently working abroad). And I'd really prefer not to say, for privacy purposes🙈
The world really needs more people like you! You are awesome in every way possible. Thank you so much for this video and every single one that you've made throughout the time and every single one that you will make in the future. Love you 💕😘