Chuck Norris doesn't star in bad movies, the movies are so scared of him, they rewrite themselves into something completely stupid. There. That was my attempt at a Chuck Norris joke.
When Chuck Norris fought in movies they had to slow the footage to slow motion to make it look cool. When Bruce Lee fought in movies they had to slow the footage down because he fought so fast no one could see it otherwise.
Bruce Lee was killed by an aspirin, then his son was killed by a rubber bullet. They men in the Lee family never live to see a sequel. There, joke made.
Diagnosed at 4 months, over 600 hospital admissions and I can play sports fine, just need to pace myself. It just really bugs me when they make out because we have asthma walking down the road will kill us.
+Javier Cardoso I feel like it was the time the joke was made as well as the way the joke was presented. TMNT isn't that bad a movie and Mako is a damn good actor. What hurt Critic is the fact that Mako actually did die in a similar way to what was being joked about (smoking too many cigarettes) and being the oversensitive Internet (though in this case, I can see why people overreacted since they might have assumed he was joking about how he died) they took personal offense in it.
***** Yes I know, but cigarettes are known to be bad for your lungs. Meaning that when taken the wrong way, one could easily think he was making fun of Mako in that way.
Leopold Litchenstein im aware of that. but you said "What hurt Critic is the fact that Mako actually did die in a similar way to what was being joked about (smoking too many cigarettes)" btw, PRAISE MAKO, HE IS OUR LORD
***** Bruce might have more skill, but Chuck Norris still pisses more accesses testosterone than Bruce will ever have. Chunky butt seagal, and pretty boy vandumb only wish they were half as manly.
Chuck Norris can eat a hammer and and take a gunshot blast while standing. Chuck Norris is the only man who defeated a brick wall in a game of tennis. Police label anyone who goes up against Chuck Norris as a suicide. Chuck Norris is so powerful, that just thinking about him increases your physical strength. Chuck Norris once shot down a German fighter pilot by holding up his finger and shouting "Bang!" Everytime Chuck Norris says yes, The Devil pisses himself.
"SideKicks" was the original project to the television series"LOST" in which a not a parallel timeline, but a "Sideways" , err line, is implemented. You see, "NEVER ENDING STORY" is to "LOST", as "LOST"s final season is to "Sidekicks".
21:40 they say when Chuck Norris hits a man, time slows down for just enough that they can go over all the mistakes in life that led to them fighting a losing battle against Chuck Norris
To be fair, the C-word (you know which one I'm talking about) has a different meaning, that being a dent. The word is still allowed in public television, as well (E.G that episode of Scrubs).
Pǟռɖʏ Mօռɨʊʍ I am aware of that, but in these situations, implication (even if it's fucking obvious) doesn't really mean much. Things only get censored when there is no other possible meaning of the word.
The boogie man checks under his bed for Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris checks under his bed for Liam Neeson. Liam Neeson checks for Batman. Batman checks for Spongebob. Spongebob checks for Pinkie Pie. Pinkie Pie checks for Jason Vorhees. Jason checks for Bloody Mary. Bloody Mary checks for Barney the Dinosaur. Barney checks for Dora the explorer. Dora checks for Megatron. Megatron checks for Darth Sidious. Darth Sidious checks for Uni-Kitty. Uni-Kitty checks for Death. Death checks for Satan. Satan Checks for God. And God...checks for Santa Christ. ALL HAIL YOUR LORD AND SAVIOUR SANTA CHRIST. HE SHALL FREE YOU OF YOUR SINS, BRING YOU PRESENTS, AND MAKE REALLY GOOD COOKIES.
5:12 You could actually shoot fire away easily. A big bullet kicks up a hell of a lot of dirt. You could easily disrupt the path of the powder blowing holes into the ground, separate the particles of gunpowder enough so that there is no flame, or smother it with flying dirt. The risk of actually setting the gunpowder on fire with a bullet is negligible.
You know this movie actually succeeds in at least one aspect. Remember in the NC's review of Bridge to Terabithia when he said that the fantasy world kind of caused the actual plot to stop completely and only tangentially related back to the kid's lives? Well this actually works the fantasies into the plot pretty well. It also portrays a kid who probably DOES have a kind of mental disorder reasonably well. Not to mention that an aspiring martial artist and a teenager at that age probably world look up to a distinguished champion and make him into a personal hero. The story would be similar if the kid looked up to Bruce Lee or Jackie Chan. It may not be a great movie, but it's pretty solid in my opinion.
Actually, chuck Norris has done some impressive things. He was the first westerner to ever achieve eighth degree black belt in Tai Kwon Do. And if you know tai kwon do, that is pretty friggin impressive. He is not quite as awesome as people say he is, but no everything said about him is false.
Chuck gets a far worse rep than he deserves. Far and away from his "facts" I'd be honored to shake the man's hand. If he's anything like a lot of his film roles and in his out of character videos, he's not some loud Hercules wannabe, he's just a soft spoken guy.
Anthony Clay Norris is a true martial artist from his time, who has much respect for high level martial arts of today (MMA). Unlike a lot of "martial arts actors" of his times he actually has a competitive record. He was also ahead of the curve by being one of the first americans to start practicing jiu jitsu (under the Machados if I am correct). Basically yeah a great man without the bullshit chuck jokes lol.
after that, chuck and bruce came up with the concept of "Return of the dragon" probably one of the most edge of your seat martial arts smackdowns ever filmed, and it was a sparring session there aswell, note at the end, when they're both bruised up, they look awefully realistic, and chuckie's got more bruises. we know who won that little match up :)
the name of the movie with all that karate crap and that one kids in it is called Blind Date. Everyone knows that. Well, except for you. You didn't. But now you do so I can go back to saying "everyone knows" confidently. Yes. Being correct is good. Well, now that I've helped I guess I'll go back to eating people and making hats for stray cats out of their skin.
One thing I noticed about Barry's fight with the bully: Whenever Barry got kicked, he looked like he barely noticed it, but every time he kicked the bully, the bully got knocked back 2 feet.
I read the description of this movie and was sure I never heard of it, but when I heard "Mr. Dumpling" I realized that I probably saw it 10 times as a kid.
I'm thinking how in the series Extras by Ricky Gervais actors played themselves and made fun of themselves. Daniel Radcliffe portrayed himself as a spoiled brat, Patrick Stewart portrayed himself as a creepy perv, Ian McKellen portrayed himself as senile old man. I have a feeling Chuck Norris don't have the same sense of humor about himself. I mean he had himself portrayed as a Mary Sue in this one. Kinda backfired. In Extras I was laughing WITH the actors, here I laugh AT Norris.
![Stromae, Pomme - “Ma Meilleure Ennemie” (from Arcane Season 2) [Official Visualizer]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/1F3OGIFnW1k/mqdefault.jpg)
I haven't seen much of Mako's work, but surely, people can appreciate his performance as Uncle Iroh in Avater: The Last Airbemder.
Don't forget he voiced Aku in Samurai Jack
It's easy to see why he's Conan's chronicler.
He voiced iroh then he truly is a god among men
Ah yes, Avatar, the last Airbemder. Truely a work of art
Kobold Hosamen And to top it off, beats Chuck Norris as mentor in Sidekicks. Made a cool Yamamoto. It's crazy how much stuff he was in.
Chuck Norris doesn't star in bad movies, the movies are so scared of him, they rewrite themselves into something completely stupid. There. That was my attempt at a Chuck Norris joke.
When Chuck Norris fought in movies they had to slow the footage to slow motion to make it look cool. When Bruce Lee fought in movies they had to slow the footage down because he fought so fast no one could see it otherwise.
FaceUnreality Genius!
FaceUnreality YESSS!!!
FaceUnreality the only man to ever beat Chuck Norris was Bruce Lee....3 guesses to what happened to him after that..
he died from an allergic reaction to an asprin
James Johnson I thought he died from overdosing on sleeping pills because he had to much trouble sleeping.
R.I.P. Jonathan Brandis
Chuck Norris doesn't fight, he just allows you to lose.
True so very true
my raps will blow your mind like a verbal John Wilkes Booth
Mariana Leal He wears a blackbelt on his beard and grows on his dick.
Rob Lena
his fists make the speed of light wish it was faster
I dont swim, water just likes to be around me!
Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 50 people... and then the grenade exploded.
The grenade didn't explode, it just broke through the sound wall six time in a millisecond.
Xiristatos lol.
You know why no one makes Bruce Lee jokes?
BECAUSE BRUCE LEE AINT NO FUCKING JOKE!
Bruce Lee was killed by an aspirin, then his son was killed by a rubber bullet. They men in the Lee family never live to see a sequel. There, joke made.
I, too, have heard that Epic Rap Battle.
Chuck Norris wants to put himself in every man
+arthousefanatic LOLOL are you sure, because you kinda did that already LOL :D
I get it. Implying he is gay, good one! Gays are icky, right?
Mychael Darklighter takes one to know one.
***** hello same account switching bitch :)
Arcader Kid Wait... So we seriously _do_ hate gays on this channel...?
chuck noriss can unscramble an egg
It's official: every time I hear Mako talk, Uncle Iroh comes into my heat.
Diagnosed at 4 months, over 600 hospital admissions and I can play sports fine, just need to pace myself. It just really bugs me when they make out because we have asthma walking down the road will kill us.
"You know who else had asthma? Carl Wheezer."
A-CARL WHEEZEEEEEEEEEER!
+Stephen Brown MY SCAPULA
who
They once tried to market a Chuck Norris toliet paper. It didnt sell a single roll cause it wouldnt take shit from anybody.
This is probably the Critic's most underrated review. In my opinion though, it's one of his best.
thnk u dude you get the idea, we're not glorifying him or dissing him,were pointing out that his status in the media is quite hyped
A-CHUCK A-NORRIIIIIIIIISSSSSS!
+Patrick Brady I litteraly saw your coment as it first came up!!!! XD XD XD
I laugh every time! where is that from? I've seen in other of his videos.
Fj
This is basically a Chuck Norris fan-fic.
anothga OMG that's so true.
5 years later, Nostalgia Critic will realize that making fun of Mako was his worst mistake ever made
+Javier Cardoso I feel like it was the time the joke was made as well as the way the joke was presented. TMNT isn't that bad a movie and Mako is a damn good actor. What hurt Critic is the fact that Mako actually did die in a similar way to what was being joked about (smoking too many cigarettes) and being the oversensitive Internet (though in this case, I can see why people overreacted since they might have assumed he was joking about how he died) they took personal offense in it.
+Leopold Litchenstein (SpongeBobfan1.5) Mako died of lung cancer. Not necessarily cigarettes
***** Yes I know, but cigarettes are known to be bad for your lungs. Meaning that when taken the wrong way, one could easily think he was making fun of Mako in that way.
Leopold Litchenstein im aware of that. but you said "What hurt Critic is the fact that Mako actually did die in a similar way to what was being joked about (smoking too many cigarettes)"
btw, PRAISE MAKO, HE IS OUR LORD
***** I know I did, because cigarettes can be related to lung problems. And yes, he is.
did you know chuck Norris was an atheist before he realized HE was god.
Woooow
Only cos Bruce lee got bored being god
dion woollaston .....or died under mysterious circumstances
Mako is AWESOME! After all, he DID do the voice of Iroh from Avatar.
MacDragard and Aku from Samurai Jack.
Once, a cobra bit Chuck Norris on the leg. And after 5 days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.
Kaleb Bryant Dude, that's pretty much the original Chuck Norris fact. It's been used so often that it was in the second Expendables movie.
RIP Jonathan Brandis
A CHUCK NORRIIISSSS!!!!!
*Jizzez everywhere*
Lol
Minecraft sucks.
Matthew O'Connor well ok its your opinion!
Lancelot Nunez I know you're hiding your rage in there. Let it out.
This movie had a big impact on me as a kid. I can still remember some lines.
Chuck Norris has a bearskin rug in his living room. The bear isn't dead; it's just too scared to move
Haha nice one
chuck Norris actually was an amazing professional fighter, then he wanted to do action movies, I guess
Six conservative world championships in fact.
faolan1686 Conservative World Champion... why am I imagining Sarah Palin and Rush Limbaugh suddenly in a boxing match?
Damian Clark Bloody auto correct. I, of cause, meant "consecutive".
Although that fight does sound cool.
Bruce lee was better
*****
Bruce might have more skill, but Chuck Norris still pisses more accesses testosterone than Bruce will ever have. Chunky butt seagal, and pretty boy vandumb only wish they were half as manly.
can we get a top 11 80's montages video?
that be cool but i think youd have to go over to watch mojos channel for that
Or League of Super Critics.
Uncle Iroh in this one seems unusual
That Karate Kid plot that the Nostalgia Critic talks about is actully Speed 2: Cruise Control
Don't fuck with chuck!
Unless you Bruce lee then you not going to win
Mako ruddy cheated! ... Heating the blocks lowered their water content making them brittle and easier to break.
12:30 i do believe that HIS WIDE ANGLE LENS IS ABOUT TO BURST!
at 24:32
It says "Sidekciks".
YOU FUCKED UP AGAIN!
+Ryan blah Great, something else for Douchy McNitpick to get upset about...
Chuck Norris can eat a hammer and and take a gunshot blast while standing.
Chuck Norris is the only man who defeated a brick wall in a game of tennis.
Police label anyone who goes up against Chuck Norris as a suicide.
Chuck Norris is so powerful, that just thinking about him increases your physical strength.
Chuck Norris once shot down a German fighter pilot by holding up his finger and shouting "Bang!"
Everytime Chuck Norris says yes, The Devil pisses himself.
Lmfao " gunshot! gunshot! r2d2 where are you!" killed me man haha
nostalgia critic+chuck norris jokes= awesome
Iroh taught Chuck Norris to bend lightning at the end!
19:22 - Am I the only one disappointed they didn't use Eye of the Tiger? :(
Apparently no, I'm not.
13:13-13:15 I didn't know he could scream like that!
"SideKicks" was the original project to the television series"LOST" in which a not a parallel timeline, but a "Sideways" , err line, is implemented. You see, "NEVER ENDING STORY" is to "LOST", as "LOST"s final season is to "Sidekicks".
Zuko, stop daydreaming about chuck Norris and drink your tea
21:40 they say when Chuck Norris hits a man, time slows down for just enough that they can go over all the mistakes in life that led to them fighting a losing battle against Chuck Norris
Ah yes, The 80s....when racial slurs could be used freely in PG movies, and having Asthma was on par with being mentally disabled.
To be fair, the C-word (you know which one I'm talking about) has a different meaning, that being a dent. The word is still allowed in public television, as well (E.G that episode of Scrubs).
selthroWs I know that, but in this film it's obvious it wasn't meant as "a dent", lol.
Pǟռɖʏ Mօռɨʊʍ I am aware of that, but in these situations, implication (even if it's fucking obvious) doesn't really mean much. Things only get censored when there is no other possible meaning of the word.
selthroWs
Ireland is not in the UK you fucking dope.
Freeman Gaming I never said Ireland is in the U.K, though keep in mind Northern Ireland is in the U.K.
13:13 This scream......Priceless!
Oddly that scream feels so relatable
"You pity me!" "No I don't....ok I do."
GET HIIIIIIIIIIM!
I'M ACTIIIIIIIIIIIIING! lol
12:54 By that logic my school would be Principaless.
The boogie man checks under his bed for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris checks under his bed for Liam Neeson.
Liam Neeson checks for Batman.
Batman checks for Spongebob.
Spongebob checks for Pinkie Pie.
Pinkie Pie checks for Jason Vorhees.
Jason checks for Bloody Mary.
Bloody Mary checks for Barney the Dinosaur.
Barney checks for Dora the explorer.
Dora checks for Megatron.
Megatron checks for Darth Sidious.
Darth Sidious checks for Uni-Kitty.
Uni-Kitty checks for Death.
Death checks for Satan.
Satan Checks for God.
And God...checks for Santa Christ.
ALL HAIL YOUR LORD AND SAVIOUR SANTA CHRIST. HE SHALL FREE YOU OF YOUR SINS, BRING YOU PRESENTS, AND MAKE REALLY GOOD COOKIES.
And they all bow down to Bruce lee
dion woollaston and Lee bows down to his teacher Wing Chun or Ip Ma….
flatelbow All of them look under their bed for (the best anime character of all time) Cory from
CORY IN THE HOUSE
5:12 You could actually shoot fire away easily. A big bullet kicks up a hell of a lot of dirt. You could easily disrupt the path of the powder blowing holes into the ground, separate the particles of gunpowder enough so that there is no flame, or smother it with flying dirt. The risk of actually setting the gunpowder on fire with a bullet is negligible.
Nostalgia Critic, once again, you drive me to laugh until I can't breathe.
I like the part where chuck Norris is like: hi...I'm chuck Norris
It's like....you don't saaaaay?!?
exactly XD
Chuck-a Norriiiiiiiiiiiiis!
The evil guys tried putting iron razor blades in Wheaties...
They are part of the recipe now!
You know who also puts iron razor blades in Wheaties?
CHUCK NORRIS! *A-CHUCK-A NORRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIS!*
Thomas Snyder CHUCK NORRIS!!!!!! "I KICK A LOT OF AAAAAASS!!!!!!!!"
Chuck Norris doesn't have asthma he just has super breath and prepares to blow them away with his awesomeness.
You know this movie actually succeeds in at least one aspect. Remember in the NC's review of Bridge to Terabithia when he said that the fantasy world kind of caused the actual plot to stop completely and only tangentially related back to the kid's lives?
Well this actually works the fantasies into the plot pretty well. It also portrays a kid who probably DOES have a kind of mental disorder reasonably well.
Not to mention that an aspiring martial artist and a teenager at that age probably world look up to a distinguished champion and make him into a personal hero. The story would be similar if the kid looked up to Bruce Lee or Jackie Chan.
It may not be a great movie, but it's pretty solid in my opinion.
Personally, this review made me want to see this movie. It looks so ridiculous that it might be hilarious.
3:07 Just for the record, Theodore freaking Roosevelt had asthma AND was nearsighted.
AA CHUUCKA NNNOOOORRRIIIIIIIIIISSSSS!!
Noah Gulbransen 5:06 lol
Actually, chuck Norris has done some impressive things. He was the first westerner to ever achieve eighth degree black belt in Tai Kwon Do. And if you know tai kwon do, that is pretty friggin impressive. He is not quite as awesome as people say he is, but no everything said about him is false.
Barry's teacher: there's a time and a place for dreams.
me: college? oh wait that's drugs
Fantasising about being a sidekick? This kid's lame.
This movie sucks, except for Chuck Norris.
And Mako. Don't forget Mako.
Actually Mako was the one who made this movie watchable.
King Vis actually, his performance was kinda cringey. Although, the material that they gave him was pretty shit.
Oh come on Mako, his name has to be Barry Punch
Damn it, that's good.
In the words of Gex: "Don't take career advice from Joe Piscopo."
Gotta love those Dime-squeals on guitar
Oh chuck what a meme you have become
lol at the end "Sidekciks"
Chuck gets a far worse rep than he deserves. Far and away from his "facts" I'd be honored to shake the man's hand. If he's anything like a lot of his film roles and in his out of character videos, he's not some loud Hercules wannabe, he's just a soft spoken guy.
Anthony Clay Norris is a true martial artist from his time, who has much respect for high level martial arts of today (MMA). Unlike a lot of "martial arts actors" of his times he actually has a competitive record. He was also ahead of the curve by being one of the first americans to start practicing jiu jitsu (under the Machados if I am correct). Basically yeah a great man without the bullshit chuck jokes lol.
jandrmayers However when it come to Theology, and Science in general he is quite ignorant. : (
jandrmayers Dude's a creationist? *sigh* Well nobodies' perfect.
Anthony Clay Who said he was?
Dragblacker I'm saying not enough people simply see him as a man. He's either infallible or an effigy to some.
I just hear Uncle Iroh giving Zuko an inspirational speech whenever he tries to encourage the kid.
oh... there's jonathan.
RIP
Oh hi, Chuck-- DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
It's all about Bruce Lee
What is the name of that porno song? It sounds funny with a good beat on in.
after that, chuck and bruce came up with the concept of "Return of the dragon" probably one of the most edge of your seat martial arts smackdowns ever filmed, and it was a sparring session there aswell, note at the end, when they're both bruised up, they look awefully realistic, and chuckie's got more bruises. we know who won that little match up :)
I just now realized that Mako does the voice of Aku in Samurai Jack.
the name of the movie with all that karate crap and that one kids in it is called Blind Date. Everyone knows that. Well, except for you. You didn't. But now you do so I can go back to saying "everyone knows" confidently. Yes. Being correct is good. Well, now that I've helped I guess I'll go back to eating people and making hats for stray cats out of their skin.
21:52
That scene is fake and CGI, if Chuck Norris really would of kicked that guy, his head would of exploded.
chuck norris can shoot fire...and kill it.
That restaurant scene with him "attacking" the bikers really reminds me of "Rouroni Kenshin"
One thing I noticed about Barry's fight with the bully: Whenever Barry got kicked, he looked like he barely noticed it, but every time he kicked the bully, the bully got knocked back 2 feet.
1. This movie is so f@#% up that needs to get laid.
2. Is the NC a fan of Chuck Noris??
Bruce Lee was better than Chuck Norris
Chuck gave the Grim Reaper a blojob kill Bruce Lee.
Never proved it in real life.
Chuck admitted that himself. The two men were friends.
Yaoi.
Apolomenace
Lol, yes! ^_^
I remember the only reason I wanted to watched this movie was because I had a huge crush on Jonathan Brandis, may he rest in peace!!!
The king of cameos is still alive and well, as far as I know XD
When chuck Norris jumps in the pool, he doesn't get wet. The water gets chuck Norris-ed.
anyone can piss on the bathroom floor, but only chuck Norris can shit on the ceiling.
you do have several good points about chuck. they milked his name to the death.
I suddenly realized this is all taking place around Houston!! Holy shit when did it ever look this not crappy?!
Up in Smoke had some GREAT karate fights. I highly recommend it if you're a fan of the genre :)
I wonder why this one wasn't on his top 11 best reviews? It's so great XD
I read the description of this movie and was sure I never heard of it, but when I heard "Mr. Dumpling" I realized that I probably saw it 10 times as a kid.
Why, of course! You can't possibly do any training without the quirky '80s montage!
I'm thinking how in the series Extras by Ricky Gervais actors played themselves and made fun of themselves. Daniel Radcliffe portrayed himself as a spoiled brat, Patrick Stewart portrayed himself as a creepy perv, Ian McKellen portrayed himself as senile old man. I have a feeling Chuck Norris don't have the same sense of humor about himself. I mean he had himself portrayed as a Mary Sue in this one. Kinda backfired. In Extras I was laughing WITH the actors, here I laugh AT Norris.
makos a beast, he voices ako and zukos uncle iroh. My childhood would be nothing without him
the slapping is from a Terinc Hill movie MY Name is Nobody or they Call me Nobody.
Clocks don't tell time, Chuck Norris tells THEM what time it is.
Fun fact: The over the top Chuck Norris jokes actually started as Vin Diesel jokes.
One glance in Chuck Norris's eyes turns boys into Men.
Thanks... I was considering watching this movie again but I think you just did it for me. Saved an hour of time!