Chuck Norris doesn't star in bad movies, the movies are so scared of him, they rewrite themselves into something completely stupid. There. That was my attempt at a Chuck Norris joke.
When Chuck Norris fought in movies they had to slow the footage to slow motion to make it look cool. When Bruce Lee fought in movies they had to slow the footage down because he fought so fast no one could see it otherwise.
Bruce Lee was killed by an aspirin, then his son was killed by a rubber bullet. They men in the Lee family never live to see a sequel. There, joke made.
To be fair, the C-word (you know which one I'm talking about) has a different meaning, that being a dent. The word is still allowed in public television, as well (E.G that episode of Scrubs).
Pǟռɖʏ Mօռɨʊʍ I am aware of that, but in these situations, implication (even if it's fucking obvious) doesn't really mean much. Things only get censored when there is no other possible meaning of the word.
+Javier Cardoso I feel like it was the time the joke was made as well as the way the joke was presented. TMNT isn't that bad a movie and Mako is a damn good actor. What hurt Critic is the fact that Mako actually did die in a similar way to what was being joked about (smoking too many cigarettes) and being the oversensitive Internet (though in this case, I can see why people overreacted since they might have assumed he was joking about how he died) they took personal offense in it.
***** Yes I know, but cigarettes are known to be bad for your lungs. Meaning that when taken the wrong way, one could easily think he was making fun of Mako in that way.
Leopold Litchenstein im aware of that. but you said "What hurt Critic is the fact that Mako actually did die in a similar way to what was being joked about (smoking too many cigarettes)" btw, PRAISE MAKO, HE IS OUR LORD
***** Bruce might have more skill, but Chuck Norris still pisses more accesses testosterone than Bruce will ever have. Chunky butt seagal, and pretty boy vandumb only wish they were half as manly.
The boogie man checks under his bed for Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris checks under his bed for Liam Neeson. Liam Neeson checks for Batman. Batman checks for Spongebob. Spongebob checks for Pinkie Pie. Pinkie Pie checks for Jason Vorhees. Jason checks for Bloody Mary. Bloody Mary checks for Barney the Dinosaur. Barney checks for Dora the explorer. Dora checks for Megatron. Megatron checks for Darth Sidious. Darth Sidious checks for Uni-Kitty. Uni-Kitty checks for Death. Death checks for Satan. Satan Checks for God. And God...checks for Santa Christ. ALL HAIL YOUR LORD AND SAVIOUR SANTA CHRIST. HE SHALL FREE YOU OF YOUR SINS, BRING YOU PRESENTS, AND MAKE REALLY GOOD COOKIES.
Diagnosed at 4 months, over 600 hospital admissions and I can play sports fine, just need to pace myself. It just really bugs me when they make out because we have asthma walking down the road will kill us.
21:40 they say when Chuck Norris hits a man, time slows down for just enough that they can go over all the mistakes in life that led to them fighting a losing battle against Chuck Norris
"SideKicks" was the original project to the television series"LOST" in which a not a parallel timeline, but a "Sideways" , err line, is implemented. You see, "NEVER ENDING STORY" is to "LOST", as "LOST"s final season is to "Sidekicks".
Chuck gets a far worse rep than he deserves. Far and away from his "facts" I'd be honored to shake the man's hand. If he's anything like a lot of his film roles and in his out of character videos, he's not some loud Hercules wannabe, he's just a soft spoken guy.
Anthony Clay Norris is a true martial artist from his time, who has much respect for high level martial arts of today (MMA). Unlike a lot of "martial arts actors" of his times he actually has a competitive record. He was also ahead of the curve by being one of the first americans to start practicing jiu jitsu (under the Machados if I am correct). Basically yeah a great man without the bullshit chuck jokes lol.
Actually, chuck Norris has done some impressive things. He was the first westerner to ever achieve eighth degree black belt in Tai Kwon Do. And if you know tai kwon do, that is pretty friggin impressive. He is not quite as awesome as people say he is, but no everything said about him is false.
the name of the movie with all that karate crap and that one kids in it is called Blind Date. Everyone knows that. Well, except for you. You didn't. But now you do so I can go back to saying "everyone knows" confidently. Yes. Being correct is good. Well, now that I've helped I guess I'll go back to eating people and making hats for stray cats out of their skin.
5:12 You could actually shoot fire away easily. A big bullet kicks up a hell of a lot of dirt. You could easily disrupt the path of the powder blowing holes into the ground, separate the particles of gunpowder enough so that there is no flame, or smother it with flying dirt. The risk of actually setting the gunpowder on fire with a bullet is negligible.
One thing I noticed about Barry's fight with the bully: Whenever Barry got kicked, he looked like he barely noticed it, but every time he kicked the bully, the bully got knocked back 2 feet.
I wonder why Doug never reviewed Ladybug with Jonathan Brandis (dressed up as a chick) and the late great Rodney Dangerfield???? Plus, when the bald coach appeared in a scene, why didn't Doug made a Night Court reference???? Is the name Marshall Warfield foreign to him?????
You know this movie actually succeeds in at least one aspect. Remember in the NC's review of Bridge to Terabithia when he said that the fantasy world kind of caused the actual plot to stop completely and only tangentially related back to the kid's lives? Well this actually works the fantasies into the plot pretty well. It also portrays a kid who probably DOES have a kind of mental disorder reasonably well. Not to mention that an aspiring martial artist and a teenager at that age probably world look up to a distinguished champion and make him into a personal hero. The story would be similar if the kid looked up to Bruce Lee or Jackie Chan. It may not be a great movie, but it's pretty solid in my opinion.
I read the description of this movie and was sure I never heard of it, but when I heard "Mr. Dumpling" I realized that I probably saw it 10 times as a kid.
Chuck Norris doesn't star in bad movies, the movies are so scared of him, they rewrite themselves into something completely stupid. There. That was my attempt at a Chuck Norris joke.
When Chuck Norris fought in movies they had to slow the footage to slow motion to make it look cool. When Bruce Lee fought in movies they had to slow the footage down because he fought so fast no one could see it otherwise.
FaceUnreality Genius!
FaceUnreality YESSS!!!
FaceUnreality the only man to ever beat Chuck Norris was Bruce Lee....3 guesses to what happened to him after that..
he died from an allergic reaction to an asprin
James Johnson I thought he died from overdosing on sleeping pills because he had to much trouble sleeping.
I haven't seen much of Mako's work, but surely, people can appreciate his performance as Uncle Iroh in Avater: The Last Airbemder.
Don't forget he voiced Aku in Samurai Jack
It's easy to see why he's Conan's chronicler.
He voiced iroh then he truly is a god among men
Ah yes, Avatar, the last Airbemder. Truely a work of art
Kobold Hosamen And to top it off, beats Chuck Norris as mentor in Sidekicks. Made a cool Yamamoto. It's crazy how much stuff he was in.
You know why no one makes Bruce Lee jokes?
BECAUSE BRUCE LEE AINT NO FUCKING JOKE!
Bruce Lee was killed by an aspirin, then his son was killed by a rubber bullet. They men in the Lee family never live to see a sequel. There, joke made.
I, too, have heard that Epic Rap Battle.
Chuck Norris doesn't fight, he just allows you to lose.
True so very true
my raps will blow your mind like a verbal John Wilkes Booth
Mariana Leal He wears a blackbelt on his beard and grows on his dick.
Rob Lena
his fists make the speed of light wish it was faster
I dont swim, water just likes to be around me!
Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 50 people... and then the grenade exploded.
The grenade didn't explode, it just broke through the sound wall six time in a millisecond.
Xiristatos lol.
R.I.P. Jonathan Brandis
Chuck Norris wants to put himself in every man
+arthousefanatic LOLOL are you sure, because you kinda did that already LOL :D
I get it. Implying he is gay, good one! Gays are icky, right?
Mychael Darklighter takes one to know one.
***** hello same account switching bitch :)
Arcader Kid Wait... So we seriously _do_ hate gays on this channel...?
chuck noriss can unscramble an egg
did you know chuck Norris was an atheist before he realized HE was god.
Woooow
Only cos Bruce lee got bored being god
dion woollaston .....or died under mysterious circumstances
Ah yes, The 80s....when racial slurs could be used freely in PG movies, and having Asthma was on par with being mentally disabled.
To be fair, the C-word (you know which one I'm talking about) has a different meaning, that being a dent. The word is still allowed in public television, as well (E.G that episode of Scrubs).
selthroWs I know that, but in this film it's obvious it wasn't meant as "a dent", lol.
Pǟռɖʏ Mօռɨʊʍ I am aware of that, but in these situations, implication (even if it's fucking obvious) doesn't really mean much. Things only get censored when there is no other possible meaning of the word.
selthroWs
Ireland is not in the UK you fucking dope.
Freeman Gaming I never said Ireland is in the U.K, though keep in mind Northern Ireland is in the U.K.
It's official: every time I hear Mako talk, Uncle Iroh comes into my heat.
A-CHUCK A-NORRIIIIIIIIISSSSSS!
+Patrick Brady I litteraly saw your coment as it first came up!!!! XD XD XD
I laugh every time! where is that from? I've seen in other of his videos.
Fj
"You know who else had asthma? Carl Wheezer."
A-CARL WHEEZEEEEEEEEEER!
+Stephen Brown MY SCAPULA
who
5 years later, Nostalgia Critic will realize that making fun of Mako was his worst mistake ever made
+Javier Cardoso I feel like it was the time the joke was made as well as the way the joke was presented. TMNT isn't that bad a movie and Mako is a damn good actor. What hurt Critic is the fact that Mako actually did die in a similar way to what was being joked about (smoking too many cigarettes) and being the oversensitive Internet (though in this case, I can see why people overreacted since they might have assumed he was joking about how he died) they took personal offense in it.
+Leopold Litchenstein (SpongeBobfan1.5) Mako died of lung cancer. Not necessarily cigarettes
***** Yes I know, but cigarettes are known to be bad for your lungs. Meaning that when taken the wrong way, one could easily think he was making fun of Mako in that way.
Leopold Litchenstein im aware of that. but you said "What hurt Critic is the fact that Mako actually did die in a similar way to what was being joked about (smoking too many cigarettes)"
btw, PRAISE MAKO, HE IS OUR LORD
***** I know I did, because cigarettes can be related to lung problems. And yes, he is.
This is basically a Chuck Norris fan-fic.
anothga OMG that's so true.
A CHUCK NORRIIISSSS!!!!!
*Jizzez everywhere*
Lol
Minecraft sucks.
Matthew O'Connor well ok its your opinion!
Lancelot Nunez I know you're hiding your rage in there. Let it out.
RIP Jonathan Brandis
They once tried to market a Chuck Norris toliet paper. It didnt sell a single roll cause it wouldnt take shit from anybody.
Lmfao " gunshot! gunshot! r2d2 where are you!" killed me man haha
12:30 i do believe that HIS WIDE ANGLE LENS IS ABOUT TO BURST!
Chuck Norris has a bearskin rug in his living room. The bear isn't dead; it's just too scared to move
Haha nice one
chuck Norris actually was an amazing professional fighter, then he wanted to do action movies, I guess
Six conservative world championships in fact.
faolan1686 Conservative World Champion... why am I imagining Sarah Palin and Rush Limbaugh suddenly in a boxing match?
Damian Clark Bloody auto correct. I, of cause, meant "consecutive".
Although that fight does sound cool.
Bruce lee was better
*****
Bruce might have more skill, but Chuck Norris still pisses more accesses testosterone than Bruce will ever have. Chunky butt seagal, and pretty boy vandumb only wish they were half as manly.
Mako ruddy cheated! ... Heating the blocks lowered their water content making them brittle and easier to break.
Once, a cobra bit Chuck Norris on the leg. And after 5 days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.
Kaleb Bryant Dude, that's pretty much the original Chuck Norris fact. It's been used so often that it was in the second Expendables movie.
Mako is AWESOME! After all, he DID do the voice of Iroh from Avatar.
MacDragard and Aku from Samurai Jack.
at 24:32
It says "Sidekciks".
YOU FUCKED UP AGAIN!
+Ryan blah Great, something else for Douchy McNitpick to get upset about...
Uncle Iroh in this one seems unusual
This movie had a big impact on me as a kid. I can still remember some lines.
20:30 Chuck Norris is actually Bilbo Baggins in disguise.
The boogie man checks under his bed for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris checks under his bed for Liam Neeson.
Liam Neeson checks for Batman.
Batman checks for Spongebob.
Spongebob checks for Pinkie Pie.
Pinkie Pie checks for Jason Vorhees.
Jason checks for Bloody Mary.
Bloody Mary checks for Barney the Dinosaur.
Barney checks for Dora the explorer.
Dora checks for Megatron.
Megatron checks for Darth Sidious.
Darth Sidious checks for Uni-Kitty.
Uni-Kitty checks for Death.
Death checks for Satan.
Satan Checks for God.
And God...checks for Santa Christ.
ALL HAIL YOUR LORD AND SAVIOUR SANTA CHRIST. HE SHALL FREE YOU OF YOUR SINS, BRING YOU PRESENTS, AND MAKE REALLY GOOD COOKIES.
And they all bow down to Bruce lee
dion woollaston and Lee bows down to his teacher Wing Chun or Ip Ma….
flatelbow All of them look under their bed for (the best anime character of all time) Cory from
CORY IN THE HOUSE
Zuko, stop daydreaming about chuck Norris and drink your tea
Diagnosed at 4 months, over 600 hospital admissions and I can play sports fine, just need to pace myself. It just really bugs me when they make out because we have asthma walking down the road will kill us.
nostalgia critic+chuck norris jokes= awesome
anyone can piss on the bathroom floor, but only chuck Norris can shit on the ceiling.
19:22 - Am I the only one disappointed they didn't use Eye of the Tiger? :(
Apparently no, I'm not.
Chuck-a Norriiiiiiiiiiiiis!
21:40 they say when Chuck Norris hits a man, time slows down for just enough that they can go over all the mistakes in life that led to them fighting a losing battle against Chuck Norris
Barry's teacher: there's a time and a place for dreams.
me: college? oh wait that's drugs
Gotta love those Dime-squeals on guitar
Iroh taught Chuck Norris to bend lightning at the end!
12:54 By that logic my school would be Principaless.
AA CHUUCKA NNNOOOORRRIIIIIIIIIISSSSS!!
Noah Gulbransen 5:06 lol
I just now realized that Mako does the voice of Aku in Samurai Jack.
"SideKicks" was the original project to the television series"LOST" in which a not a parallel timeline, but a "Sideways" , err line, is implemented. You see, "NEVER ENDING STORY" is to "LOST", as "LOST"s final season is to "Sidekicks".
Don't fuck with chuck!
Unless you Bruce lee then you not going to win
can we get a top 11 80's montages video?
that be cool but i think youd have to go over to watch mojos channel for that
Or League of Super Critics.
I like the part where chuck Norris is like: hi...I'm chuck Norris
It's like....you don't saaaaay?!?
exactly XD
Chuck Norris doesn't have asthma he just has super breath and prepares to blow them away with his awesomeness.
When chuck Norris jumps in the pool, he doesn't get wet. The water gets chuck Norris-ed.
3:07 Just for the record, Theodore freaking Roosevelt had asthma AND was nearsighted.
Fantasising about being a sidekick? This kid's lame.
It's all about Bruce Lee
I just hear Uncle Iroh giving Zuko an inspirational speech whenever he tries to encourage the kid.
"Chuck Norris is so epic, he doesn't wait for death- the Grim Reaper waits for Chuck Norris."
The evil guys tried putting iron razor blades in Wheaties...
They are part of the recipe now!
You know who also puts iron razor blades in Wheaties?
CHUCK NORRIS! *A-CHUCK-A NORRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIS!*
Thomas Snyder CHUCK NORRIS!!!!!! "I KICK A LOT OF AAAAAASS!!!!!!!!"
GET HIIIIIIIIIIM!
I'M ACTIIIIIIIIIIIIING! lol
lol at the end "Sidekciks"
One glance in Chuck Norris's eyes turns boys into Men.
"You pity me!" "No I don't....ok I do."
Chuck gets a far worse rep than he deserves. Far and away from his "facts" I'd be honored to shake the man's hand. If he's anything like a lot of his film roles and in his out of character videos, he's not some loud Hercules wannabe, he's just a soft spoken guy.
Anthony Clay Norris is a true martial artist from his time, who has much respect for high level martial arts of today (MMA). Unlike a lot of "martial arts actors" of his times he actually has a competitive record. He was also ahead of the curve by being one of the first americans to start practicing jiu jitsu (under the Machados if I am correct). Basically yeah a great man without the bullshit chuck jokes lol.
jandrmayers However when it come to Theology, and Science in general he is quite ignorant. : (
jandrmayers Dude's a creationist? *sigh* Well nobodies' perfect.
Anthony Clay Who said he was?
Dragblacker I'm saying not enough people simply see him as a man. He's either infallible or an effigy to some.
Personally, this review made me want to see this movie. It looks so ridiculous that it might be hilarious.
What is the name of that porno song? It sounds funny with a good beat on in.
Nostalgia Critic, once again, you drive me to laugh until I can't breathe.
Actually, chuck Norris has done some impressive things. He was the first westerner to ever achieve eighth degree black belt in Tai Kwon Do. And if you know tai kwon do, that is pretty friggin impressive. He is not quite as awesome as people say he is, but no everything said about him is false.
Oh hi, Chuck-- DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
Oh come on Mako, his name has to be Barry Punch
Damn it, that's good.
This movie sucks, except for Chuck Norris.
And Mako. Don't forget Mako.
Actually Mako was the one who made this movie watchable.
King Vis actually, his performance was kinda cringey. Although, the material that they gave him was pretty shit.
Chuck Norris once killed an army of 600 men with just two bullets, and the first one was a warning shot.
That restaurant scene with him "attacking" the bikers really reminds me of "Rouroni Kenshin"
Oh chuck what a meme you have become
21:52
That scene is fake and CGI, if Chuck Norris really would of kicked that guy, his head would of exploded.
the name of the movie with all that karate crap and that one kids in it is called Blind Date. Everyone knows that. Well, except for you. You didn't. But now you do so I can go back to saying "everyone knows" confidently. Yes. Being correct is good. Well, now that I've helped I guess I'll go back to eating people and making hats for stray cats out of their skin.
5:12 You could actually shoot fire away easily. A big bullet kicks up a hell of a lot of dirt. You could easily disrupt the path of the powder blowing holes into the ground, separate the particles of gunpowder enough so that there is no flame, or smother it with flying dirt. The risk of actually setting the gunpowder on fire with a bullet is negligible.
That Karate Kid plot that the Nostalgia Critic talks about is actully Speed 2: Cruise Control
chuck norris can shoot fire...and kill it.
Bruce Lee was better than Chuck Norris
Chuck gave the Grim Reaper a blojob kill Bruce Lee.
Never proved it in real life.
Chuck admitted that himself. The two men were friends.
1. This movie is so f@#% up that needs to get laid.
2. Is the NC a fan of Chuck Noris??
You think hitting yourself in the nuts with nunchaku is a gag, but if you've ever learned how to use them, you've hit yourself there...
I suddenly realized this is all taking place around Houston!! Holy shit when did it ever look this not crappy?!
Yaoi.
Apolomenace
Lol, yes! ^_^
Clocks don't tell time, Chuck Norris tells THEM what time it is.
Chuck Norris doesn't slow down time.He is time. XD
One thing I noticed about Barry's fight with the bully: Whenever Barry got kicked, he looked like he barely noticed it, but every time he kicked the bully, the bully got knocked back 2 feet.
I remember the only reason I wanted to watched this movie was because I had a huge crush on Jonathan Brandis, may he rest in peace!!!
I can already hear Arnold screaming at Chuck: "Put that nookie down!"
Fun fact: The over the top Chuck Norris jokes actually started as Vin Diesel jokes.
makos a beast, he voices ako and zukos uncle iroh. My childhood would be nothing without him
13:13 This scream......Priceless!
Oddly that scream feels so relatable
the slapping is from a Terinc Hill movie MY Name is Nobody or they Call me Nobody.
This is probably the Critic's most underrated review. In my opinion though, it's one of his best.
Chuck is Un-De-interlacing in the intro of the film!!!
I had yet to truly crack up laughing at Critic's antics until 7:57.
Couldn't help it! HAHAHAA~!
A boy fantasising about his teacher is about the most ordinary, mundane (and so no, not "creepy") thing in the world.
Why, of course! You can't possibly do any training without the quirky '80s montage!
The king of cameos is still alive and well, as far as I know XD
I wonder why Doug never reviewed Ladybug with Jonathan Brandis (dressed up as a chick) and the late great Rodney Dangerfield????
Plus, when the bald coach appeared in a scene, why didn't Doug made a Night Court reference???? Is the name Marshall Warfield foreign to him?????
thnk u dude you get the idea, we're not glorifying him or dissing him,were pointing out that his status in the media is quite hyped
You know this movie actually succeeds in at least one aspect. Remember in the NC's review of Bridge to Terabithia when he said that the fantasy world kind of caused the actual plot to stop completely and only tangentially related back to the kid's lives?
Well this actually works the fantasies into the plot pretty well. It also portrays a kid who probably DOES have a kind of mental disorder reasonably well.
Not to mention that an aspiring martial artist and a teenager at that age probably world look up to a distinguished champion and make him into a personal hero. The story would be similar if the kid looked up to Bruce Lee or Jackie Chan.
It may not be a great movie, but it's pretty solid in my opinion.
I read the description of this movie and was sure I never heard of it, but when I heard "Mr. Dumpling" I realized that I probably saw it 10 times as a kid.