Mike Tyson smashes Steven Seagal in this dumpster fire | So Bad It's Good #89 - China Salesman

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  • Опубликовано: 21 сен 2024
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    Watch a Chinese propaganda film, they said. It has Mike Tyson and Steven Seagal, they said. It's almost two hours long, they said. Well, we finally watched this hot garbage and now I want to quit the channel. This one was tough to get through. At least we see Seagal get his butt kicked. Kinda.
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Комментарии • 2,1 тыс.

  • @JasonBrant
    @JasonBrant  2 года назад +75

    Thanks to Established Titles for sponsoring today's video. Go to establishedtitles.com/JASONBRANT to get 10% off today.

    • @Humongous420
      @Humongous420 2 года назад +1

      I have an on going gag on my live show involving Lord Humungus and myself, Lord Humungous Fungus of Urungus! He keeps interrupting my damn show and running his gums from behind his mask...He made me so mad I became a TRUE Lord! Thanks to Established Titles for making this joke a reality and a really good laugh on the Humungus Shit Show!
      P.S my family actually has Scottish and Welsh royalty on my father's side. We have two castles just waiting to be retaken! JOIN ME JASON AND WE SHALL RETAKE THE WASTEDLAND GWAR BEERS IN HAND 😎

    • @OIFIIIOIF-VET
      @OIFIIIOIF-VET 2 года назад +1

      I told ya this shit was the greatest!!! AHHAHAAHHAHAHAHA

    • @myhorsethesenet33
      @myhorsethesenet33 2 года назад +2

      There is a really bad movie called the amazing bulk. Check it out,. Seriously you guys will like it

    • @Katzenhase
      @Katzenhase 2 года назад

      You´re too dumb, pal. You don´t even know that Seagal and Tyson were not on the set at the same time. You jerk really believe that Tyson smashed Seagal. Tyson smashed a Seagal double but not Seagal himself.

    • @adnaanu
      @adnaanu 2 года назад +29

      It's a scam. A friend of mine fell for a similar one and thought he was going to be Lord of Glencoe. All they did was change his name to Lord by deed poll.

  • @BrianVarvaro
    @BrianVarvaro 2 года назад +1078

    This has an amazing IMDB trivia entry: "Mike Tyson lost 25 pounds for this role while Steven Seagal put on 25 pounds to get in character."

    • @JasonBrant
      @JasonBrant  2 года назад +188

      That's hilarious.

    • @darkzer0670
      @darkzer0670 2 года назад +100

      I had to look that up to see if it was true. Whoever put that in there is a Legend 🤣🤣🤣

    • @robotrix
      @robotrix 2 года назад +37

      Yeah....that's why Seagal did it. Sure.

    • @eduardodiaz9942
      @eduardodiaz9942 2 года назад +62

      "The movie was a bomb in China"
      Yep, that checks out

    • @konstantinschafer2122
      @konstantinschafer2122 2 года назад +9

      It would surprise me, when he one day wouldn't put on more weight...

  • @WebbyMcWebberson
    @WebbyMcWebberson 2 года назад +907

    China salesman wasn’t even that bad it just needed better acting, casting, plot, directing, characters, effects, lighting, scenes, structure, soundtrack,editing and weight loss

    • @JasonBrant
      @JasonBrant  2 года назад +92

      True.

    • @aysada
      @aysada 2 года назад +28

      Don't forget Art Direction. That was shitty art direction.

    • @euphan123
      @euphan123 2 года назад +30

      And the kraft service table SUCKED

    • @Specter5053
      @Specter5053 2 года назад +10

      Ya you can really improve a bad movie by changing everything about it.

    • @shrapnel77
      @shrapnel77 2 года назад +12

      @@euphan123 No kraft service can handle the onslaught of Steven Seagal.

  • @capncrunch6209
    @capncrunch6209 2 года назад +723

    I totally agree with the double theory, no way would Seagal film himself getting beat up. They filmed half the fight scene waited for him to go home and nap and then finished it.

    • @JasonBrant
      @JasonBrant  2 года назад +128

      I'm pretty convinced that's what happened.

    • @doctorthirteen5499
      @doctorthirteen5499 2 года назад +152

      They attached a hamburger to a string and pulled it until he was well off the set.

    • @Uncle_T
      @Uncle_T 2 года назад +9

      Likelyhood - 100%!

    • @arrongumbrell539
      @arrongumbrell539 2 года назад +36

      I read somewhere neither were on set together at the same time.

    • @roy12525
      @roy12525 2 года назад +30

      If you look at the movie's IMDB page, one of the front page photos is of Mike Tyson with the stunt double

  • @ViralBallistic
    @ViralBallistic 2 года назад +254

    Steven is a fighter. He's been fighting against diets and good acting for decades

    • @Chromeize
      @Chromeize Год назад +9

      Ever seen him run? One of his first title roll movies had him bone thin, running like sissy with his balding ponytail lol.

    • @uchidaoginome
      @uchidaoginome Год назад +12

      ​@@Chromeize that was his first movie, Above the Law, and it was actually good. he smiles, cries, jokes & dances with Pam Grier (while following a suspect into a nightclub) and pals around at a barbeque with colleagues and family members and acts like a normal human being for the first and last time! Guess once he got a multi-picture deal he figured he could hang up the thin sliver of personality he had shown us. It was now time to act like a self-deluded prick for the next 30 years.

    • @00tree
      @00tree Год назад

      You got me.

    • @kiki_yagelovskaya
      @kiki_yagelovskaya Год назад

      And he laundered more than any Mexican ever.

    • @willcardona7712
      @willcardona7712 Год назад +2

      And he's been victorious.

  • @Harbinger1978
    @Harbinger1978 Год назад +84

    In case anyone is interested, as a screenwriter I had to adapt a script written for a US market to one suited for China. Although it wasn't state funded, it would still need to adhere to MANY rules to be permitted a theatrical release. 1) No antagonist can be the nationality of one of China's allies (I had a Russian villain I was forced to change) 2) No western actor can score with a native female love interest if there is another equally heroic Chinese character. 3) No homosexuality and limited use of drugs (if any) 4) If dual protagonists, one of which is Chinese, the Westerner cannot be seen to solve every puzzle. 5) No authority be it the police, intelligence or any agency of the People's Republic of China can be shown to be corrupt, ineffective or inept. And there were MANY more. Thankfully, the project fell apart because it was moving dangerously close to a Seagal movie!

    • @BucketOfFuk
      @BucketOfFuk 10 месяцев назад +5

      Horrific.

    • @CRazY-zp3sk
      @CRazY-zp3sk 8 месяцев назад +5

      @@BucketOfFuk The us government has rules for how Hollywood portrays them as well, look it up. They influence movies and stuff all the time.

    • @BucketOfFuk
      @BucketOfFuk 8 месяцев назад +2

      @@CRazY-zp3sk Welp. That's twice as horrific

    • @raifthemad
      @raifthemad 6 месяцев назад +7

      @@CRazY-zp3sk Not really. The US army has rules though, but only for those movies, that want to use military equipment and manpower without having to pay for it. So if you want to use US army resources for free, you have to send them your screenplay and make changes that they request. Only natural for an organization to offer its resources for PR. If you say no, only thing that happens, is that you have to pay for the stuff. No one is going to stop you from publishing your movie.

    • @manojkothwal3586
      @manojkothwal3586 4 месяца назад

      😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 dumpster 🔥

  • @Rob_Fordd
    @Rob_Fordd 2 года назад +421

    It is hilarious that it took the Chinese government creating an action movie and his opponent being literal Mike Tyson, for Seagal to get his ass beat in a fight on screen lol.

    • @JasonBrant
      @JasonBrant  2 года назад +50

      True 🤣

    • @MinscFromBaldursGate92
      @MinscFromBaldursGate92 2 года назад +52

      Not even Seagal dares to defy emperor Xi.

    • @jillvalentinefan77
      @jillvalentinefan77 2 года назад +22

      Even the mighty blob Segal can't take on Mike Tyson with the Chinese backup.

    • @Katzenhase
      @Katzenhase 2 года назад

      You jerk doesn´t notice or know that Seagal and Tyson were not on the set at the same time. Tyson smashed a Seagal double but not Seagal himself. They (producers) told Seagal that the fight would end up in a draw. After cutting the movie Tyson was the winner because Seagal was not on the set.

    • @euphan123
      @euphan123 2 года назад +9

      They also waited for The Year Of The Dragon to end, he too strong befo’

  • @stonecoldku4161
    @stonecoldku4161 2 года назад +302

    I needed subtitles for Seagal more than I did for the Chinese in this movie.

    • @JasonBrant
      @JasonBrant  2 года назад +30

      🤣 🤣

    • @GamesFromSpace
      @GamesFromSpace 2 года назад +20

      [Burger chewing noises]

    • @AnikMonette
      @AnikMonette 11 месяцев назад +1

      Fair! I watched the original Pulse the other night and even then I understood basic stuff easily.
      Although Steven Seagal here seems a little more clear than in Kill Switch...

  • @bryce4228
    @bryce4228 2 года назад +96

    "Why does the government of China want this movie to even exist?"
    So people know that China's building infrastructure in Africa, but they can make it boring enough that people don't find out they're doing it through predatory loans and debt slavery.

    • @pinzazzzz
      @pinzazzzz Год назад +1

      They've literally written off a bunch of loans but...like you know, maybe just enjoy the shlockfest for what it is.

    • @bouncingbluesoul5270
      @bouncingbluesoul5270 Год назад +11

      @@pinzazzzz source : Trust me, I've got this.

  • @LjIzTheCrew
    @LjIzTheCrew 2 года назад +141

    Fun fact, Mike Tyson and Steven Seagal were never in the same room together for that fight, their parts were shot in different countries

    • @JDascrambler
      @JDascrambler 2 года назад +26

      That makes perfect sense

    • @willr.ingramiii
      @willr.ingramiii Год назад +5

      What happened to the movies with S.S.
      In the older movies made more sense.
      What the F*ck happened??

  • @tessalyyvuo1667
    @tessalyyvuo1667 Год назад +11

    Same year Seagal was in this Chinese propaganda movie, he complained about propaganda in America. Talk about hypocrisy.

    • @necrogenesis1981
      @necrogenesis1981 Год назад +5

      Now he’s in Russia spreading different propaganda lol

  • @MrTheRaneb
    @MrTheRaneb 2 года назад +324

    Jason : Dont crack that beer. The movie is almost over
    Dave : Hey..... Shut up

    • @JasonBrant
      @JasonBrant  2 года назад +42

      🤣 🤣 🤣

    • @michaelscott8845
      @michaelscott8845 2 года назад

      @@JasonBrant i was hoping he would shotgun it while looking you in the eye the entire time lol

    • @jacobrenderos9612
      @jacobrenderos9612 Год назад +3

      Underrated comment 🤣🤣🤣

    • @RossTheNinja
      @RossTheNinja Год назад

      Best claim to fame for any actor must be telling iron mike to shut up.

  • @lostkev4739
    @lostkev4739 2 года назад +328

    Jason kills me every time he sees Seagal feel up those poor women
    “He’s such a piece of shit” 🤣🤣🤣🤣 never fails Lmao!!!

    • @MarieAntoinetteandherlittlesis
      @MarieAntoinetteandherlittlesis Год назад +17

      Same. It’s what we’re all thinking. There’s no point in him feeling up some poor struggling actress/ he just has to do it. He can’t help it, he’s so big and sloppy and old it just comes off as creepy. Doesn’t add to the plot at all.

    • @mylex817
      @mylex817 Год назад +15

      There is an interview with one of the directors of his films, Titus Paar, where he described how Steven will only sign his acting contracts if they include him having intimate scenes with young Asian women, whose actresses he picks himself.

    • @MarieAntoinetteandherlittlesis
      @MarieAntoinetteandherlittlesis Год назад +1

      I can only imagine if that’s the stuff we know, imagine the stuff we don’t know. Imagine Sloppy old Steven Seagal asking you to suck his dick and he’ll help you get an acting role somewhere. He looks like he wears SO much cologne, and he probably breathes really hard all the time, in addition to the mumbling. Just gross.

    • @mylex817
      @mylex817 Год назад +9

      @@MarieAntoinetteandherlittlesis I would not be surprised if that was the case. And this does not even take into account all the abuse allegations

  • @csmadisun
    @csmadisun 2 года назад +295

    Here's some facts to help lick your wounds:
    - You missed this, but the opening credits says "GUEST STARRING STEVE SEGAL". They misspelt Seagal's name! (it's at 4:40 in this video, for anyone wanting to check)
    - There's some scenes you didn't include in this video that are absolute GOLD. The motorbike in the beginning had Seagal's face really badly pasted onto the helmet. It's amazing.
    - Also not shown: there's a scene where two actors are speaking in Mandarin, and Seagal tells them to "speak English". Allegedly that's because Seagal forgot his lines - something I think we can all believe.
    - The majority of the movie was filmed in Dandenong, Australia, and used a LOT of refugees who'd come from South Sudan. As you can imagine, this cuts costs significantly.
    - This won an award! At the Beijing Student Film Festival, it won a Special Jury Award.
    - The trivia section for this film on IMDB is FILLED with digs at Seagal. It's actually kind of hilarious.

    • @BigBass-xf5yi
      @BigBass-xf5yi 2 года назад +12

      Good info. Thanks, will check it out.

    • @JasonBrant
      @JasonBrant  2 года назад +65

      Digs at Seagal? I'll take a look 🤣

    • @MinscFromBaldursGate92
      @MinscFromBaldursGate92 2 года назад +35

      I wonder how many social credits Seafood Seagal earned with this flick.

    • @csmadisun
      @csmadisun 2 года назад +3

      @@MinscFromBaldursGate92 Why else did they have to film in Australia? All the money went on hiring Se(a)gal.

    • @davidbedard6824
      @davidbedard6824 2 года назад +8

      and it said Steve Segal...instead of Steven

  • @UnspecifiedHandle
    @UnspecifiedHandle 2 года назад +228

    It's important to note that Chinese "companies" have been working land deals for years in Africa for mining operations for scarce resources. They usually come equipped with their own security team loaded to the gills with weaponry. They normally encroach on territories that aren't theirs and use the security force to intimidate the surrounding land owners and the local governments that granted the initial deal. It's no coincidence that this movie is centered around Africa. They are going to strip that place dry by any means necessary.

    • @xancypillosi9497
      @xancypillosi9497 2 года назад +23

      Facts. They have military bases there also. Promising helping the countries develop etc

    • @911shan
      @911shan 2 года назад +1

      Sounds a lot like the US of A. Only, that they don't install a puppet government, force western liberalism laws and policies, and cause civil wars or invade nations in the process.

    • @MinscFromBaldursGate92
      @MinscFromBaldursGate92 2 года назад +34

      Good to know colonialism is alive and well.

    • @SuperMickyChow
      @SuperMickyChow 2 года назад +6

      Source: Trust me, bro

    • @freezeitkonto8925
      @freezeitkonto8925 2 года назад +9

      So just like the west?

  • @BileDuctBalderdash
    @BileDuctBalderdash 2 года назад +36

    I laughed so hard when Steven Seagal slapped Mike Tyson's ear at a lame reference to when he bit off Holyfield's ear

  • @hailcthulhu419
    @hailcthulhu419 2 года назад +96

    You just know that Seagal is delusional enough to believe that he could beat Tyson in a fight in real life. 🤣

    • @WeirdNeville
      @WeirdNeville 2 года назад +9

      Can you imagine the pay per view revenue? I'd pay $20 to see that fight in the full knowledge it would last the full duration of Mike's fist accelerating just 2 feet from his body, and clean though Steven SeaDrawls jaw.

    • @hailcthulhu419
      @hailcthulhu419 2 года назад +1

      @@WeirdNeville yeah, I'd definately pay to see Tyson take Seagal's head clean off with a single punch. 🤣

    • @johnstrickland3933
      @johnstrickland3933 Год назад +1

      akido has cam under attack recently for not being affective. but boxing yes might not be as popular as it once was has never been called unaffected

    • @johnstrickland3933
      @johnstrickland3933 Год назад

      an Mike Tyson is known as one of best boxers out there

    • @MrNicodepies
      @MrNicodepies Год назад

      1000% lol

  • @Low_Rent
    @Low_Rent 2 года назад +242

    When Dave laughed real hard it looked like Segal on his shirt was chewing food. Lol

    • @JasonBrant
      @JasonBrant  2 года назад +32

      I thought the same thing!

    • @johndillermand4053
      @johndillermand4053 2 года назад +5

      To be fair, Sensei looks like his mouth is always full of food

    • @bvs56
      @bvs56 2 года назад

      I thought I was the only one who noticed that. It elevated this video to hilarious status.

    • @steves1112000
      @steves1112000 2 года назад +1

      He was.

    • @leeweesquee
      @leeweesquee 2 года назад +1

      HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAH

  • @A-A-Ronious
    @A-A-Ronious 2 года назад +139

    Just spit my coffee. "They're literally just talking about installing cell phone equipment." *Dave's blank stare* 🤣

    • @JasonBrant
      @JasonBrant  2 года назад +17

      So goddamn boring. 🤣

  • @echochamber4420
    @echochamber4420 2 года назад +30

    Fun Facts:
    The Mandarin speaking scene where Steven Seagal interrupts a conversation between Dong-xue Li and Li Ai telling them "to speak English" was due to Seagal forgetting his lines. This was inadvertently left in the final cut of the movie.
    Despite being featured heavily in the film's marketing, the conflict between Mike Tyson and Steven Seagal is just a small subplot that consists of just one short fight at the beginning of the movie (and during most of it Seagal is clearly replaced by his stuntman), and that is the only scene that the 2 of them share.
    The bulk of the film was made in Dandenong, Australia, using refugees from South Sudan. The money saved on the production allowed for Seagal's expensive tastes in food and women.
    Both stars of this movie, Steven Seagal and Mike Tyson, have been accused of sexual assault. Tyson was convicted.
    Director Tan Bing actively sought out and created the role for Steven Seagal, after weaving viral video of Seagal's Akido skills at the Saratov Sambo tournament, which was filmed in Russia a few years earlier. Bing said "It was an honor to have an Aikido master like Steven perform his art in this film."
    Steven Seagal has it in his contract that he must either have a "sex scene" with a woman or be able to freely "touch" her without getting in trouble.
    This movie was a huge bomb in China.
    Mike Tyson lost 25 pounds for this role while Steven Seagal put on 25 pounds to get in character.
    Mike Tyson is American, but speaks in an African accent.
    The Sandstorm scene was inspired by Mad Max Fury Road.
    Mike Tyson filmed this movie and Ip Man 3 around the same time.

  • @luccirobbins6675
    @luccirobbins6675 2 года назад +60

    We do not show enough appreciation to you guys for sitting through these crappy movies for our entertainment. Thank you Jason! Also, your Seagal fat jokes made me realize I’m as big as him and motivated me to lose weight. I’ve lost 30 pounds and am now at the smallest I’ve been in 10 years, and counting.

    • @jacobrenderos9612
      @jacobrenderos9612 Год назад +6

      Imagine your motivation for losing weight is literally not to look like Steven Seagal 😂 All jokes aside, that’s awesome you have reached & continue to exceed your personal record with your weight loss journey. The amount of work, dedication & discipline is commendable & usually very underrated. Keep up the good work, Champ! ✊🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽

    • @jonnysokkoatduckdotcom
      @jonnysokkoatduckdotcom Год назад +1

      You are insightful and right😊

  • @Obironnkenobi
    @Obironnkenobi 2 года назад +69

    Mike Tyson was in Ip Man 3 and was pretty good. He barely spoke and all he had to do was fight Donnie Yen and look like a violent badass, but he did the role really well.

    • @crankfastle8138
      @crankfastle8138 Год назад +12

      Yes, the fight scene was clever enough to stroke both their egos. Fight to a draw because of a time limit.

    • @joshcarter-com
      @joshcarter-com 10 месяцев назад +2

      I genuinely enjoyed Tyson in Ip Man 3. The shot where he’s punching out the glass windows behind Donnie Yen is just magic.

  • @euphan123
    @euphan123 2 года назад +23

    “Our people are NOT extinct!” Bro, I’m in my company’s break-room and literally spit the biscuits out of my mouth!🤣

  • @ExUSSailor
    @ExUSSailor 2 года назад +87

    Not only is Sensei Seagal, in his own mind, anyway, the greatest martial artist of all-time, and, the greatest action star of all-time, he also fancies himself a legendary blues man. On his record, "Songs From The Crystal Cave", he included a Jamaican Dancehall collabaration with Lady Saw, called, "Me Want The Punani". It MUST be listened to. It is absolutely HILARIOUS!

    • @nignamedmutt7270
      @nignamedmutt7270 2 года назад

      LADY SAW?!?!?!? YOU MEAN THE SAME LADY SAW WHO MADE THE MASTERPIECE SONG "I WANNA FUCK YOU WITH MY HEELS ON"?!?!?!?
      I'm kidding, I already know it's the same lady saw lol
      She's a fucking poet though.
      "I wanna fuck you with my heels on *YEAH*
      Let me ride on your ding dong"

    • @JasonBrant
      @JasonBrant  2 года назад +39

      I listened to that and considered chugging bleach afterward.

    • @MinscFromBaldursGate92
      @MinscFromBaldursGate92 2 года назад +7

      His version of the Hoochie Coochie Man shown in Jontron's video is pure hilarity.

    • @stagalgiz1097
      @stagalgiz1097 2 года назад +6

      I listened for all of a minute, I think I want to sue you to get my minute back. I now have ear aids. I want to play in a freeway, and jump into a lake with a chain wrapped around my ankles tied to a boulder.... That is how bad that song is.

    • @megatronjenkins2473
      @megatronjenkins2473 2 года назад +11

      @@JasonBrant I just listened to about 30 seconds, and I need to go lie down.
      On some railroad tracks.

  • @CH-vs7ex
    @CH-vs7ex 2 года назад +13

    It's almost like Seagal found out they had him lose that fight at the beginning and then refused to be in any more of the movie after that.

  • @arnaudsprenger7505
    @arnaudsprenger7505 Год назад +9

    You guys said EXACTLY what I thought. Steven Seagal doesnt lose, so they recorded the stunt double losing after Seagal had left the set.
    Also, rumour has it, that on Exectutive Decision (the one with Kurt Russell) they recorded the entire movie with him as the star, but did it again with Russell after he left so they could kill him off after 10 minutes.

  • @mvyper
    @mvyper 2 года назад +22

    As far as I know, Tyson and Seagal have never actually met during filming. The whole fighting scene was filmed using doubles.

    • @alexakaa.charlesross8919
      @alexakaa.charlesross8919 2 года назад +5

      That's insane

    • @JasonBrant
      @JasonBrant  2 года назад +11

      Definitely looks lik eit.

    • @AztecUnshaven
      @AztecUnshaven 2 года назад +4

      They're friendly with each other in real life, but yeah they did zero scenes together in this terrible film. One of Seagal's doubles does a behind the scenes of this here on youtube.

  • @mauri213
    @mauri213 2 года назад +21

    30:23 “Hey, shut up!” = One of the greatest movie lines ever!

  • @TheSouldead1
    @TheSouldead1 2 года назад +22

    I’m guessing the smack in the ear was for Holyfield. 🤣🤣

    • @JasonBrant
      @JasonBrant  2 года назад +10

      Ohh, I never considered that. I'm an idiot.

  • @UnethicalLogic
    @UnethicalLogic Год назад +2

    I would like to thank the Chinese Propaganda Masters for hiring Mike Tyson to kick Sifu's arse!

  • @jaybenton7716
    @jaybenton7716 2 года назад +8

    Every time Dave laughs hard, Seagal on his t-shirt laughs with him.

  • @gafrers
    @gafrers 2 года назад +46

    I remember reading that Tyson and Fatgal didn't even meet for this movie, all their scenes were recorded separately.
    I don't drink but to watch this movie i think i'd need a full bottle of Vodka, Whiskey, Gin and whatever other strong drink there is.

    • @oifocker
      @oifocker 2 года назад +9

      Yeah I heard something similar on ralphthemoviemaker's review, I think. I've probably watched more accumulative minutes in reviews of this movie than the runtime of the movie itself!

    • @JasonBrant
      @JasonBrant  2 года назад +12

      It looks like most of Tyson's work was shot in front of a green screen.

    • @hansgraichen8051
      @hansgraichen8051 2 года назад +2

      I watched it sober. Multiple viewings of Dickshark prepared me.

    • @gafrers
      @gafrers 2 года назад +1

      @@hansgraichen8051 You are a champion. Your fortitude is insane.

    • @brianokane1698
      @brianokane1698 2 года назад

      😂😂😂😂

  • @EmlynBoyle
    @EmlynBoyle 2 года назад +22

    Forget King Kong vs Godzilla, Batman V Superman, Vader vs Obi-Wan. Tyson vs Seagal is the greatest square off ever...said no one ever.

  • @jbs818
    @jbs818 2 года назад +12

    I know you guys were struggling to figure out who the hero in this disaster even was, but I think we can all agree that it ended up being the “Hey. Shut up” guy.

  • @ericparker308
    @ericparker308 2 года назад +23

    The suffering is real on this one. It was almost painful for me but I was too busy laughing at Dave's misery...lol Great episode again.

  • @thefoolishgmodcube2644
    @thefoolishgmodcube2644 2 года назад +3

    Aw, I was waiting for the part where Steven Seagal says "Hey, why don't you guys speak english?" while looking at the wall instead of the guy he's talking to. That was the funniest shit

  • @hobbyingatmikes3954
    @hobbyingatmikes3954 2 года назад +39

    Dave is a champ for filming that opening! So epic!

    • @JasonBrant
      @JasonBrant  2 года назад +6

      His screams crack me up.

  • @ZachSeg3425
    @ZachSeg3425 2 года назад +41

    Dave looked like he was being tortured this whole movie 😂

    • @JasonBrant
      @JasonBrant  2 года назад +7

      He was.

    • @ZachSeg3425
      @ZachSeg3425 2 года назад +5

      Just what I needed to start my Sunday off… Chinese propaganda

    • @megatronjenkins2473
      @megatronjenkins2473 2 года назад +2

      @@ZachSeg3425 better this than After Last Season....

    • @haeuptlingaberja4927
      @haeuptlingaberja4927 2 года назад +2

      Who are these Patreon sadists?

    • @Mark-uh4zd
      @Mark-uh4zd 2 года назад

      @@mikehunt4986 it’s fun to make fun of how bad the movie is.

  • @carldzoga1348
    @carldzoga1348 2 года назад +34

    I've noticed EVERY Seagal film makes The Room look like a better more competent film with each installment!

  • @mofarr83
    @mofarr83 4 месяца назад +2

    That "Hey, shut up" scene needs to be turned into a meme lol

  • @majklnedic6358
    @majklnedic6358 2 года назад +19

    Are you trying to kill me? Hey shut up!!! 😂 Best scene in the whole movie. I feel bad for you Jason and Dave, going through this is tough 😢😢😢 but watching you guys making up your own storys made it kinda interesting. 😂 Seagal is awesome😝

  • @maxsidetracks4990
    @maxsidetracks4990 2 года назад +17

    Damn, that was brutal. I will admit tho that the propaganda parts were kinda hilarious in their ineptness. Also "Hey China, how are you?" and "Hey! Shut up!" had me in stitches.

  • @benaldredge2671
    @benaldredge2671 2 года назад +38

    Love when Dave is part of a review, and the shirt he’s wearing is hilarious.

    • @JasonBrant
      @JasonBrant  2 года назад +5

      A viewer sent us a bunch of Seagal shirts 🤣

    • @WordToMomsYo
      @WordToMomsYo 2 года назад

      @@JasonBrant i was gonna ask, "did you guys make 'Anybody Seen Richie' t-shirts??"

  • @tattooeddragon
    @tattooeddragon 2 года назад +10

    This has got to be the best Chinese adaptation of Wuthering Heights I have ever seen!

  • @Psyrus88
    @Psyrus88 2 года назад +13

    I think you hit the nail on the head regarding Seagal's absence in the latter half of that fight. Chinese filmmakers are notorious for this. Case-in-point: Richard Harrison. He shot 20 films, yet ended up "starring" in excess of 100 more.

  • @danialm17
    @danialm17 2 года назад +5

    30:23 I literally burst out laughing so hard when the guy said shut up to Mike Tyson.

  • @stonecoldku4161
    @stonecoldku4161 2 года назад +14

    "So, when you're fighting a tank, the best thing to do is get out of an armored vehicle and shoot at it."
    "Yes. Yes, throw rocks at it."
    Hey, it worked for Indiana Jones in The Last Crusade.

    • @JasonBrant
      @JasonBrant  2 года назад +2

      haha.

    • @stonecoldku4161
      @stonecoldku4161 2 года назад +1

      @@JasonBrant Hey, there were some realistic things in that movie. The biggest one was where Harrison Ford said "Fly? Yes. Land? No."

  • @chrisingram9798
    @chrisingram9798 2 года назад +69

    It must be compulsory that Dave wear that sweet sweet mullet wig whenever he watches a Sensei Segal movie.
    Congrats on 50k Jason!

    • @JasonBrant
      @JasonBrant  2 года назад +16

      Thanks! I'll tell him he has to wear the wig from now.

  • @carldzoga1348
    @carldzoga1348 2 года назад +11

    The movie should've ended when Seagal lost that fight, would've won an Oscar, LOL

  • @chaiwallah69
    @chaiwallah69 2 года назад +2

    I would pay 1 week’s salary if the PRC does a Wolf Warrior movie starring Steven Seagal where he wolfs down an all you can eat Chinese buffet and fights 20 Shaolin monks at the same time

  • @nattycasper2022
    @nattycasper2022 Год назад +18

    Dude laughing hard and making Seagal's face jiggle is everything.

  • @Gamerdude18isback
    @Gamerdude18isback 2 года назад +41

    I honestly thought the title was some sort of in-joke clickbait at first; I've seen quite a few of your Seagal videos and I literally never thought I would see him lose a fight scene. There's simply no way his mayo-guzzling ego would allow it to happen. I think we all came together in collective shock there, and I absolutely buy the stunt double theory.

    • @JasonBrant
      @JasonBrant  2 года назад +10

      I bet everyone thinks it's clickbait, haha.

    • @Katzenhase
      @Katzenhase 2 года назад

      He didn´t lose the fight, jerk. Don´t you see that you never see Tyson and Seagal in the same scene? Tyson fought against a Seagal double because Seagal and Tyson were not on the set at the same time. But that´s the thing with "compuer warriors" hiding behind the computer. They don´t know anything!!!

    • @brianokane1698
      @brianokane1698 2 года назад

      Mee too-

  • @jeremiahramirez8915
    @jeremiahramirez8915 2 года назад +37

    You know for a fact that 90 percent of people that watched this in China felt so proud during this movie.

    • @JasonBrant
      @JasonBrant  2 года назад +17

      That flag waving scene was brutal.

    • @eduardodiaz9942
      @eduardodiaz9942 2 года назад +11

      If I were Chinese I would feel insulted and embarrassed to see my tax money going into this abomination

    • @BigMikeDTW
      @BigMikeDTW 2 года назад +10

      My girlfriend is Chinese... like, born in China and moved to the US 5 years ago Chinese. She was embarrassed by this film and laughed at how horrible it is.

    • @eduardodiaz9942
      @eduardodiaz9942 2 года назад +9

      @Henrique According to the IMDB page of this film, it was a failure even in China, so yeah

    • @souldry
      @souldry Год назад +2

      @@eduardodiaz9942 as if they’d give you the right to feel insulted

  • @ChipWhitingtonIII
    @ChipWhitingtonIII 2 года назад +10

    7:22 "God, I hate him"
    We all do, Dave... we all do.

  • @locknstock9423
    @locknstock9423 2 года назад +10

    I applaud you lads for suffering through this absolute trainwreck for our entertainment. Keep them coming.

  • @davidtatro7457
    @davidtatro7457 5 месяцев назад +1

    I come back and watch this again periodically, because it's one of the funniest videos you and Dave have ever done together.

  • @davidlewis6857
    @davidlewis6857 2 года назад +21

    I'm looking forward to you releasing two videos a week. You are now officially my favourite RUclips channel and I've re-watched many videos a dozen times. You've all got such a great family like chemistry together. One warning though: if this means you'll be releasing two Seagal videos in a week them I'm deleting the internet!

    • @JasonBrant
      @JasonBrant  2 года назад +10

      I'd rather die than do back-to-back Seagal movies.

    • @everforward5561
      @everforward5561 2 года назад +2

      @@JasonBrantIs there any difference between that and death?

    • @ferdonandebull
      @ferdonandebull 2 года назад

      @@JasonBrant everyone says that… but oddly enough no one has committed suicide to prevent the occurrence..
      Cause sea gal is a sneaky bastard and it could happen..

    • @elephant_888
      @elephant_888 2 года назад

      @@JasonBrant 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • @scottguanci7806
    @scottguanci7806 2 года назад +16

    Wow that looked painful 😖 hope the next one isn't the torture this was. You guys are warriors!

    • @JasonBrant
      @JasonBrant  2 года назад +7

      Nothing is this painful 🤣

  • @galogiha
    @galogiha 2 года назад +6

    my favourite bits of the movie are:
    the face of sifu cello taped onto that bike helmet and the fact that all the weight tyson lost, "segal" found.

  • @ExtraLexical
    @ExtraLexical Год назад +2

    "Hey. Shut up!" absolutely killed me 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • @TBH-nu2so
    @TBH-nu2so 5 месяцев назад

    This is truly a movie. I don’t know of any other film that crams 50 plot lines into 2 hours while remaining consistently boring. That’s got to be an accomplishment.

  • @DannyBoy-jy1kq
    @DannyBoy-jy1kq 2 года назад +5

    🤣🤣🤣🤣. The look of pure shock and silence when seagal got beat. Like me when I was 7 and hulk hogan was beaten at summerslam

    • @JasonBrant
      @JasonBrant  2 года назад +1

      Haha! That's hilarious.

    • @DannyBoy-jy1kq
      @DannyBoy-jy1kq 2 года назад

      @@JasonBrant lovely t-shirt by the way

  • @novamo
    @novamo 2 года назад +9

    Did you miss the part where Seagal was riding a motorcycle? It was like an image of his face was pasted on the helmet! Which I think is what actually happened.

    • @JasonBrant
      @JasonBrant  2 года назад +6

      I think we mentioned it in the full-length review. It's so bad.

    • @novamo
      @novamo 2 года назад

      @@JasonBrant When you complained about the movie two days ago I thought it was the usual complaining. But I watched the movie myself and it was horrible. Even by Seagal standards. I quit half way through the movie.

  • @carldzoga1348
    @carldzoga1348 2 года назад +5

    How dare you compare this to a Dumpster Fire! At least a Dumpster Fire can keep you warm! THIS 'movie' was belly button lint! 🙃🤣

  • @dustin3950
    @dustin3950 2 года назад +1

    Sensei sifu wallowing away at a buffet would be more entertaining then whatever the hell this monstrosity was.

  • @ALAH13
    @ALAH13 2 года назад +2

    That was the most riveting Chinese propaganda film about setting up a cellular network I've ever seen.

  • @angryman2406
    @angryman2406 2 года назад +8

    Seagal falling legit made me stop what I was doing and sit down to watch closer. Wow.

  • @punchfisttop
    @punchfisttop 2 года назад +11

    You two deserve the metal of honor.

  • @Blutteufel
    @Blutteufel 2 года назад +4

    "Hey, the new review is up."
    "Cool. What's it called?"
    "Uh... 'Mike Tyson smashes Steven Seagal'-not _that_ way..."

  • @mdd3hill821
    @mdd3hill821 Год назад +1

    Neither Tyson nor Seagal were in the same room for their fight. It was ALL double work.

  • @rescot00
    @rescot00 2 года назад +11

    You two have amazing chemistry even over a terrible terrible movie.

    • @bombomos
      @bombomos 2 года назад

      They should smooch

  • @bal5884
    @bal5884 2 года назад +6

    What we learned from that, Tyson can't act and Seafood is still rubbing up chicks half his age.
    That looked painful, I would have needed a 100 beers to get though that one.
    You need to do more Seafood before the goatee, at least his in them.

    • @JasonBrant
      @JasonBrant  2 года назад +2

      We'll watch all the shitty Seagal movies. Unfortunately.

    • @bal5884
      @bal5884 2 года назад

      @@JasonBrant For our amusement 😀

  • @nighttempest7163
    @nighttempest7163 2 года назад +17

    Yeah, I believe Seagal doesn't know that his character is gonna be beaten by Mike Tyson. He left the set and just having the stunt double take the sh*t lol. However, I genuinely believe Tyson can totally beat Seagal, with just one punch.

    • @JasonBrant
      @JasonBrant  2 года назад +11

      Tyson could be paralyzed and still kick his ass.

    • @Katzenhase
      @Katzenhase 2 года назад +1

      @@JasonBrant Bullshit, Seagal is a martial arts master and was "the man" in his prime. Tyson said that he has the utmost respect for Seagal.

    • @adamvialpando106
      @adamvialpando106 2 года назад +5

      @@Katzenhase Tyson is a former heavyweight champion boxer and Seagal is a movie martial actor. This is no contest. It's like saying Chuck Norris could beat Rocky Marciano.

    • @Katzenhase
      @Katzenhase 2 года назад +3

      @@adamvialpando106 Chuck Norris is a former karate worldchampion and a mutiple black belt in Brazilian Jiu Jitsu. Every top martial arts fighter would have beaten a great boxer. If Jon Jones have fought Mike Tyson, I would have put my whole money on Jon Jones. The same with Conor McGregor vs Mayweather. Every boxer is helpless in a ground fight.

    • @adamvialpando106
      @adamvialpando106 2 года назад +1

      @@Katzenhase Are you really comparing Seagal and Norris to Jones and Mcgregor? Jon Jones and Conor Mcgregor are real experienced fighters.
      Chuck Norris and Steven Seagal are to martial arts what Dwayne Johnson and John Cena are to wrestling. Talented but useless in an actual fight.

  • @BigMikeDTW
    @BigMikeDTW 2 года назад +12

    Now you know why I've been requesting this one for so long. I wanted someone else to experience the same torture I went through. It's hours of my life I will never EVER get back. BTW - My girlfriend is from Shanghai and agrees that this is the worst piece of shit she's ever seen. She hates China even more after watching this movie.

  • @mr.badguy8500
    @mr.badguy8500 2 года назад

    What are you talking about mates? Tyson's Dubbing is *Chef's kiss* perfection that carries this film.

  • @Chilled_Wombat
    @Chilled_Wombat 4 месяца назад

    30:39 - Dude, even Seagal on his shirt is laughing with them. 😂

  • @ahmadalgaree506
    @ahmadalgaree506 2 года назад +5

    This is the first Seagal movie where we all suffered as much as you. This truly was an abomination.
    PS, I agree. Seagal was not told he would get knocked out.

    • @BigMikeDTW
      @BigMikeDTW 2 года назад +3

      "They probably filmed Seagal's scenes and then had Tyson beat the stunt double because the Chinese don't give AF". Truer words have never been spoken.

  • @insanitypepper1740
    @insanitypepper1740 2 года назад +8

    I had the same reaction when I learned Tyson was in this. After the first scene with him i was like "oh..."

    • @JasonBrant
      @JasonBrant  2 года назад +3

      The excitement dissipates quickly.

  • @sealdoggydog
    @sealdoggydog 2 года назад +5

    The question is, can Mike Tyson even pronounce "Sifu"?!

    • @JasonBrant
      @JasonBrant  2 года назад +1

      Haha! That legit made me laugh out loud.

    • @Jrock466
      @Jrock466 2 года назад

      Thifu

  • @bilbobagginssword3926
    @bilbobagginssword3926 Год назад +2

    You guys are awesome. It’s like Siskel/Ebert meets Mystery Science 2000. Very funny guys , enjoyed it!

  • @icykickflip
    @icykickflip 10 месяцев назад +1

    30:40
    when Dave’s gut jiggles from laughing - Sefu himself looks like he’s laughing

  • @zakfrisch2997
    @zakfrisch2997 2 года назад +7

    Just got back from camping without reception and within 10 minutes a new SBIG. Hell yeah, time to hang out with Jason and the gang!
    Edit: and you have a new Seagal opening? Let's gooooo 🤣

    • @JasonBrant
      @JasonBrant  2 года назад +2

      How was the trip?

    • @zakfrisch2997
      @zakfrisch2997 2 года назад

      @@JasonBrant well. eating beer brats, burgers, and drinking beer on the beach was probably a better time than watching this dumpster fire 🤣 clearly you guys suffer for your art

  • @Legionaer666
    @Legionaer666 2 года назад +7

    I think we owe something to the directors for finally making Seagal getting his ass kicked.

  • @SheevPalpatine
    @SheevPalpatine 2 года назад +3

    Having seen the full fight scene between Seagal and Tyson, I'm convinced they were never in the same room together and only fought each other's doubles.

  • @pr9039
    @pr9039 Год назад +2

    It's a rare thing to find a movie where Steven Seagal is the most understandable person in the cast.

  • @Mattj93
    @Mattj93 4 месяца назад

    Building a cellular network with Mike Tyson and Steven Seagal? The truth is indeed stranger than fiction lol

  • @GlidingZephyr
    @GlidingZephyr 2 года назад +5

    Okay, normally I don't comment twice on one video, but I had to this time (after I just watched about 37 minutes of misery).
    This film makes me proud to be a U.S. citizen. God bless America! And thank you very much for your willingness to share this. Please pick a movie that won't give anyone an aneurysm watching it, next time. 😂

  • @AlyrArkhon
    @AlyrArkhon 2 года назад +4

    Opening an only alcohol-drink seller bar in a country where is forbidden to drink alcohol is a very good business... Oh wait.

    • @JasonBrant
      @JasonBrant  2 года назад

      I was so confused by that.

    • @veritas4364
      @veritas4364 2 года назад +1

      You mean like being a narco in a country where coke is forbidden? Or being a bootlegger during Prohibition?

  • @DirtyDingles
    @DirtyDingles 2 года назад +4

    Would it be rude to ask for every minute back enduring this movie. This brings cinema stupidity to a new level! Still had a few laughable moments. Keep putting this material out and you’ll be at a million subs in no time!! Every time he laughed the jiggle in his tummy made the Segal image on his shirt look like the mouth moving. His image had more lines! Love you guys!

  • @FLHBR
    @FLHBR Год назад +1

    30:28 I come back periodically to this video, just to hear Dave laugh.🤣 It just improves my mood!😅 Thanks, you guys.😉

  • @albertusaswin2012
    @albertusaswin2012 Год назад

    So Sensei Teletubbies is not always unbeatable, even in movies, huh? Finally there is something that makes sense from this guy.

  • @randomname9263
    @randomname9263 2 года назад +12

    Love your channel, you guys are awesome! We’ve bought Invasion USA, Death Wish 3, The Barbarians, and Class of 1999 based your reviews and we’ve had a great time watching them with friends!
    Really hope you’ll watch Ryan’s Babe because it is an absolute dumpster fire of a movie described as a “Comedy/Thriller” whose tagline is “The road movie that doesn’t know where it’s going” (which is accurate). I know your channel doesn’t do comedies, but the good news is, this movie definitely isn’t one.
    If you reply to this comment, I’ll buy it for you so you can see what the hell a “Comedy Thriller” is!

    • @JasonBrant
      @JasonBrant  2 года назад +3

      That sounds extraordinarily painful.

    • @seanpoulton2446
      @seanpoulton2446 Год назад

      @@JasonBrant it’s actually one of those movies that’s such a clusterfuck, it ends up being hilarious

  • @codexaeterna
    @codexaeterna 2 года назад +4

    Those opening credits were ridiculous. Wtf does a "co-associate producer" do??

    • @JasonBrant
      @JasonBrant  2 года назад +3

      Signs government documents.

  • @MrTerribleLie
    @MrTerribleLie 2 года назад +4

    Watching you guys suffer through that movie felt like I was watching a snuff video.

  • @damianclark550
    @damianclark550 Год назад +1

    FYI Established Titles are not what they are advertising. Do your research people.

  • @Snow10101
    @Snow10101 2 года назад +1

    I laughed, I cried, and I cheered for this . Laughed at your suffering, cried thinking of having to watch this whole movie myself, and cheered for the credits.

  • @ChallengeIdeas
    @ChallengeIdeas 2 года назад +3

    I just discovered your channel! Enjoying your videos so far.
    Seagal's unwillingness to be anything but invincible is such a far cry from when he was in Executive Decision (which movie I like and I even liked his character).

    • @LeeONardo
      @LeeONardo 2 года назад

      And I believe the only reason he did that was because apparently he wanted the scene changed so he went out "as a hero" saving his men.

  • @josephlyons1727
    @josephlyons1727 2 года назад +4

    Watching you guys suffer through this propaganda piece, I swear I saw your souls leave your bodies at one point. Only a Seagal movie could achieve such a feat.

  • @8bitbonsai
    @8bitbonsai 2 года назад +4

    30:39 even Seagal laughed

  • @michaelkeister8689
    @michaelkeister8689 Год назад

    The greatest moment in Seagal's career: Getting knocked out by Tyson.