For all of you concerned about my eyes being red, it was because I had been wearing contacts all day and I had to switch them out, and that whole process of switching them made my eyes red. I was not high. Drugs are a sin. I've never ever done any weed before and there's actually no evidence you could find online that I have done weed. Sorry!
Thank you Mr.Ted Nivison for clarifying that. No one should ever experience the suggestion of accidentally ingesting a 400 mg edible. That would be sin.
That lion dad is lucky he's in a Christian film, 'cause I'm pretty sure aggression displays like "baring your teeth at a lioness" just earn you a violent ass-kicking in real lion culture
God says game ending yourself is a sin, so all this movie is is a loophole to legally see god after an early death from choking to death. Bravo, very brave
I went with my now partner everywhere while he skated when we were teens. We were constantly harrassed by adults and basically called Satan worshippers because he skateboarded and we wore black a lot. My name is actually a very religious word too to make it even odder. I’ve had all sorts of people see my name and ask if it’s ok to pray over me including lawyers and doctors. I always say yes because even though I don’t follow my childhood religion anymore I see no issue with it and think it’s very kind to not only ask but to offer.
on schlatt's jenga stream the other day i literally heard ted mention that "moses slaughtered people for worshiping a golden calf" and i was so confused bc it was so out of pocket BUT IT MAKES SENSE NOW LMAOO HE STILL HAD THE MOVIE ON HIS MIND
I feel at 27:14 the reason they apologized so quickly was they felt the aura of a 44 year old with years of combat experience who killed the literal devil in the body of their 7 year old son. I would too
The ghosts interaction with Joshua is like actually dangerous to show to children it normalizes the most suspicious and dangerous things you should be telling kids to avoid
‘Also, who is this tiger character? He is absolutely fucking goated, hes like the John Wick of the bible’ that will FOREVER be one of my favorite Ted quotes
I really like “a rating of 4 pogging Moseses, and 1 angry pharoh.” I don’t know the rating system but it won’t stop me from using it all the time. I’m adding ‘stone-faced Joshua’ and ‘goated tiger’.
The mentality of not doing bad things because they are wrong, but not doing bad things because god will punish you is always what pisses me off the most
Yea that’s kinda how Christianity works. I mean, all of the 7 deadly sins are sins specifically because you don’t keep god in your best interest when doing them, Not because they are morally wrong. There are even Christian’s who wholeheartedly believe that atheists are inherently rapists and murderers because they don’t have a god to tell them not to do something.
The fact that this movie is legitimately just a one-man project made in a guy’s basement and most likely voiced by people he knows is the part that gets me.
@@Irreverent_Radiation true. But IMO, it’s still impressive to make a whole movie by yourself whether it is good or not. Cooking requires effort, yes but not as much as producing an entire movie.
SCHOOL! The answer is I don't go! Why go? I am famous. I am famous. I have more fans than fingers multiplied with toes multiplied with teeth multiplied with ears. I am famous. I am famous. SCHOOL? No, thanks. RUclips FAME? Yes. Good day, dear cal
Alright, so I spent a good 3 minutes doing the math and have figured it out. So we’re multiplying the amount of fingers (10), the amount of toes (10), the amount of teeth (average human has about 32 teeth with wisdom teeth and 28 without, so we’ll do both just for fun), and finally the amount of ears (2). So we start off with 10 • 10 which is 100, then we do 100 • 32 (wisdom teeth included) which is 3200 or we could do 100 • 28 (without wisdom teeth) which is 2800, finally we times 3200 (or 2800) by 2 to get 6400 (or 5600). Basically this person has more than 6400 (or 5600) fans. Signed, Someone who had too much time on their hands.
I love how this is trying to be a moral lesson for kids, when the moral of the story is "if you arent perfect, you are just as bad as baby murderers, and will be killed."
I think the worst part about this movie is the ending. It's literally teaching children "If you learn about God, your parents will stop arguing and being abusive" What the actual fuck man
would have made more sense if maybe joshua busted in the door and made them say grace or something at the table and that's what magically fixed everything
I mean that's arguably not even the worst lesson they teach, given that earlier they say "If a strange man appears in your room, and wants you to come with him not knowing where you're going, go with him, no questions asked!"
I remember watching this movie as a child i swear to God. I went to a really weird private school and they showed this movie to us. I vividly remember that after I had the worst nightmare I've ever had- after that night I couldn't sleep alone for a month I am dead serious
Saberspark’s reanimated version of this movie is by far one of the greatest abominations I’ve ever seen in my life. There’s the perfect amount of people genuinely trying their best, people just shitposting, and furries. And the different interpretations of Chris really top it all off.
2:42 - They may not even be talking about their whole house when they say "den". A lot of people refer to the family room or living room as a den instead. So, instead of a single, small, insignificant change, they may have just made no changes whatsoever.
This movie missed the most important part of the parting of the red sea. I didn't see a beyblade parting it. How could they forget such an INTEGRAL part of the story!
26:23 the fact he says “I thought I was dreaming!” Truly shows how long he has been experiencing this nightmare for that he has even forgot it was a dream to begin with and the though it was one at some point was nothing more than a distant thought
@@carlywelch4935 Yeah, like, the whole point is that it's a HUMAN sacrifice. God allowed ritual sacrifice of animals, so it's so weird that they didn't explain that crucia; detail
I love that when the battle scene started Ted entirely stopped talking about how bad the movie is and just started talking about how cool he thought the battle scene was.
The use of humans on the egyptian art actually makes sense, since there would have also been anthropomorphic bipedal creatures too. theyve just been swapped
"Wouldn't it be crazy if like, there were big naked guys who wore blankets and shit" "What" "Like a version of us that's just naked with the only exception being their head" "Like a monkey?" "No idiot monkeys aren't naked." "A sphynx?" "No, they have no fur on their head. I'm talking like, they got the ears of of a monkey and manes like lions but that don't loop around the neck." "I-" "And beards, they got beards like that Moses guy." "Wh-" "Yeah but sometimes they shave them off even if it's winter" "J-" "No no man listen. I'm cooking here. Wouldn't it be wild if those existed." "I- *sigh* sure..." "Do you think thst they'd make fun of each other for wearing blankets all the time like weirdos" "Maybe?" "That'd be soooo crazy" "Hello it is me the painter you hired what do you want to be painted on your wall" "I WANT BIG NAKED THINGS WEARING BLANKETS"
This is probably my most replayed video ever. I don't know why but whenever I feel bad youtube just recommends it again and I can't help watching it. I've been struggling with a bunch of mental health problems recently and I just wanted to say thank you for cheering me up ❤
Hey, sorry I know I'm just an internet stranger who can't really help in a very meaningful way, but I hope that situation improves for you. If there is in fact a way that an internet stranger could help you, like if you just need someone to talk to, I guess feel free to let me know? But otherwise, just offering my condolences
from one person with mental health conditions to another! i hope things get better for you soon! i also equally love this video and have it on a comfort watch playlist when im not feeling great
At 24:18, Joshua treats the angel like he has never met someone like Chris before, which means that Chris most certainly abandoned Joshua and stopped talking to him at some point on his 40 year mind journey.
Joshua says “They killed a baby” too calmly. There’s some tenderness in his voice, but watching a town murder a baby is quite different from war. I wish they had him read the line very choked up. Barely able to get the words out
"the only reason why we have a problem with slavery in this context is because god wasn't a fan of it?" you did it! you broke christianity down to it's bare essentials!
As a child, I would get put in the kids’ daycare/Sunday-school room. The PUPPETS used for EVERYTHING were TERRIFYING. There was a long, tall blue one with that goofy, deep, clown voice that haunt children’s nightmares. I was petrified by that one to the point of sobbing and begging for my parents several times as the ushers were trying to find them in a massive church. The girl tried to reassure me that they were on the way, but I needed them to get me outta that room immediately. That happened each time, so my parents just brought me into the main church. (I cried there bc if you’re trying to sing praises loud enough to reach high heaven, it’s also loud enough to make young ears bleed. I had to stuff paper towel bits into my ears to dampen the sheer volume of an Episcopalian choir.) I grew up attending a mega church. The preaching style and judgy parts didn’t sit right with me, so I follow podcast sermons every now and then. I’m probably a Red Letter Christian now because I know they’re are metaphors and ancient cultures that are important context for the Bible. I’m bisexual, and I think that’s just fine based on monks’ interpretations.
11:36 "these characters look like they're very recently learning motor skills" 1:55 "our main character joshua is incredibly good at motor skills" SOMETHINGS NOT ADDING UP TED
Do you think these lions need physical therapy… ah though theyd be forced to go through insurance hell.. find no open timeslot covered by their insurance at an okay facility… i pity them…
@@grumlinfunker9704 idk how to explain it but the vibes are similar to if you've had just a bit too much of any cannabinoid and you start hallucinating a little
I remember watching this 2 years ago I thought it was all just a really bad dream but now that I see this I know that my deepest darkest fears can become a reality
I'm very late, but it was my understanding that Moses is a cucumber. This movie has some explaining to do. Side note: as an animator, I'm pretty sure the horses are green because they initially wanted them to stand out against a solid sheet layer for the background, but then just never changed it when they created the landscape. So initially, they were trying to make it easier to discern each frame of the walk cycle, and once grass was added, we now have camouflage horses. Nature is beautiful
Leave it to Ted to put “THIS IS SCARY” in the thumbnail JUUUST so you know this is disturbing, for the people who are apparently three hundred feet tall and can’t see the actual name of the video. Thanks for being so considerate!
Here’s the thing, going to a religious school and them showing you any media at all is usually not a good idea. But occasionally there’s a decent movie (in terms of animation) I think the movies called the prince of Egypt but the animation quality is immaculate and really had some decent effort poured into it.
Every Christian movie studio wants what VeggieTales had but they will never get it. VeggieTales was absolutely goated and nothing can compare. Also, I am a Christian and I have grown up in the church my whole life but honestly ... the Old Testament is so confusing and some of the stories in it are absolutely wild to say the least. May I recommend Elisha and the bears?
@@noodlelynoodle. I always wondered why they had messages by someone at a “time” like 13:02 when it was time for Qwerty, now I know they’re supposed to be bible verses
As a Christian, I can assure you this is the most inaccurate and most hilarious recreation of the story I’ve ever seen, and I’m only 4 minutes into the video.
After watching the whole video, the movie just entirely misses the point. If any non-Christian’s want to understand the actual thing more, I suggest watching the prince of Egypt which is an actually decent movie
Just because something is horrible doesn't automatically mean it's enjoyable. Some reasons for being horrible can be offensive, boring or just annoying, with comedies that aren't funny being a top example. But I do agree, it just so happens that this is the best kind of horrible. The ridiculous writing, and some of the expressions are among the best! Plus, at least Jim Lion did what he could despite having so little to work with.
TED! If you’re interested in this rabbit hole, SaberSpark and a very talented team actually RE-ANIMATED this entire movie! It’s an actual gem and definitely worth checking out.
the static ghost feels straight out of the mandela catalogue and i am terrified. i’ve seen this video at least 6 times and every time i am subjected to that thing it becomes more unsettling
as a jew that was taught all this in class and never really liked learning it all, i kinda wish they showed me this movie instead this shit is hilarious
For all of you concerned about my eyes being red, it was because I had been wearing contacts all day and I had to switch them out, and that whole process of switching them made my eyes red. I was not high. Drugs are a sin. I've never ever done any weed before and there's actually no evidence you could find online that I have done weed. Sorry!
💀💀💀
It's clearly because you were crying, because the movie was just THAT beautiful
Thank you Mr.Ted Nivison for clarifying that. No one should ever experience the suggestion of accidentally ingesting a 400 mg edible. That would be sin.
"the accidental 400mg edible" video on sidebar
Trump tweet
That lion dad is lucky he's in a Christian film, 'cause I'm pretty sure aggression displays like "baring your teeth at a lioness" just earn you a violent ass-kicking in real lion culture
NO, NOW YOU LISTEN TO ME! why should i waste my time at school? i am super famous on youtube. tell me, dear cace
yes
@@AxxLAfriku wrong number
‘lion culture’
that'd get yo ass WHOOPED
i liked the part in the movie where joshua said "where's the land i was promised" and then he got really angry and set fire to an orphanage
but the mom has a mane even tho shes a lioness. you know what? thats the least thing wrong with this movie
@@redmist6630 trans rights i guess?
Time?
@@schlorping5156 clutch answer w
Really nailing that Old Testament vibe
I choked on my breakfast at "This ghost is a registered sex offender!" and very nearly saw God. At least the movie is effective?
what does this comment even mean
XD
lol
@@meltwire it's not that hard to comprehend....are u European or Asian? Maybe German?..really.....
God says game ending yourself is a sin, so all this movie is is a loophole to legally see god after an early death from choking to death. Bravo, very brave
"Thou shalt not kickflip" Was my least favorite rule growing up in Catholic school
the lost 11th commandment
@@someone-gi5lq idk if that was intentional but this made me think of Moral Orel
@@pastelcatnip it was absolutely intentional i'm so happy someone got that reference
MORE MORAL OREL FANS IN THE WILD/pos
I went with my now partner everywhere while he skated when we were teens. We were constantly harrassed by adults and basically called Satan worshippers because he skateboarded and we wore black a lot. My name is actually a very religious word too to make it even odder. I’ve had all sorts of people see my name and ask if it’s ok to pray over me including lawyers and doctors. I always say yes because even though I don’t follow my childhood religion anymore I see no issue with it and think it’s very kind to not only ask but to offer.
on schlatt's jenga stream the other day i literally heard ted mention that "moses slaughtered people for worshiping a golden calf" and i was so confused bc it was so out of pocket BUT IT MAKES SENSE NOW LMAOO HE STILL HAD THE MOVIE ON HIS MIND
I mean who doesn’t? 🕺🏻
ted goes in character and before you know it, you are REPENTING FOR YOUR SINS
Ted lore?????
I thought it was an incorrect history joke. But no! You’re right!
I didn't know "Schlatt" did a Jenga stream
I feel at 27:14 the reason they apologized so quickly was they felt the aura of a 44 year old with years of combat experience who killed the literal devil in the body of their 7 year old son. I would too
I don’t have a goo comment here I’m just gonna tell you that you have 600 likes
I mean for real tho
They read is power level and said “I ain’t fucking with this”
Lol 😂
He walked in and they heard his boss fight music start
The ghosts interaction with Joshua is like actually dangerous to show to children it normalizes the most suspicious and dangerous things you should be telling kids to avoid
I totally agree
“sometimes no means maybe”
-how to create both rapists and rape victims in a single sentence
the pastors gotta do SOMETHING to pass the time okay man give them a break
a lot of horribly fucked up things are normalized in christian society
I just realized that every character in the film was one of Joshua’s toys on the shelf that Chris the Static Angel decided to peek at.
WHAT
Holy fuck
That's an actual creative way to reuse models
Chekovs Toys
@@catloversunite1155 Chris, please save me.
‘Also, who is this tiger character? He is absolutely fucking goated, hes like the John Wick of the bible’
that will FOREVER be one of my favorite Ted quotes
I really like “a rating of 4 pogging Moseses, and 1 angry pharoh.” I don’t know the rating system but it won’t stop me from using it all the time. I’m adding ‘stone-faced Joshua’ and ‘goated tiger’.
I literally was reading this and he said it as i was reading it. Made it twice as funny
Bruh I love this thread
Yo thanks Ted for liking my comment! Love ur content 🫶 love the fact ur still going through old comments :)
You’ve made it Ted…my grandma now loves your content.
Wow now that's surprising
Ted is the GILF master
@@19DannyBoy65 I didn't need to know that that is a thing.
@@19DannyBoy65 true, he gets all that dry-/j (not gonna finish that sentence)
@@19DannyBoy65
Are you serious.
The mentality of not doing bad things because they are wrong, but not doing bad things because god will punish you is always what pisses me off the most
Yea that’s kinda how Christianity works. I mean, all of the 7 deadly sins are sins specifically because you don’t keep god in your best interest when doing them, Not because they are morally wrong. There are even Christian’s who wholeheartedly believe that atheists are inherently rapists and murderers because they don’t have a god to tell them not to do something.
I agree with the sentiment, but people simply won't do the right thing without consequences.
@@jonasamon9091 some people*
Agreed. That’s an eternal struggle of humanity
thats not really the mentality people have dude
The fact that this movie is legitimately just a one-man project made in a guy’s basement and most likely voiced by people he knows is the part that gets me.
That makes it a little less bad to me. To be fair, i probably wouldn't do any better
this amazes me and scares me
@@nightstar6179 if someone cooks a horrible, shit filled dinner you can say that it's terrible even if you don't know how to cook
@@garfaaldo "Making a movie? *hits his bong cracks dick* Please, call an ambulance"
@@Irreverent_Radiation true. But IMO, it’s still impressive to make a whole movie by yourself whether it is good or not. Cooking requires effort, yes but not as much as producing an entire movie.
8:50 "Sometimes a no means maybe" is the most predatory thing I've heard all day. Chris for sure ain't right in the head.
SCHOOL! The answer is I don't go! Why go? I am famous. I am famous. I have more fans than fingers multiplied with toes multiplied with teeth multiplied with ears. I am famous. I am famous. SCHOOL? No, thanks. RUclips FAME? Yes. Good day, dear cal
@@AxxLAfriku sad
@@AxxLAfriku down horrendous
@@AxxLAfriku He's lost himself
Alright, so I spent a good 3 minutes doing the math and have figured it out.
So we’re multiplying the amount of fingers (10), the amount of toes (10), the amount of teeth (average human has about 32 teeth with wisdom teeth and 28 without, so we’ll do both just for fun), and finally the amount of ears (2).
So we start off with 10 • 10 which is 100, then we do 100 • 32 (wisdom teeth included) which is 3200 or we could do 100 • 28 (without wisdom teeth) which is 2800, finally we times 3200 (or 2800) by 2 to get 6400 (or 5600).
Basically this person has more than 6400 (or 5600) fans.
Signed,
Someone who had too much time on their hands.
I love how this is trying to be a moral lesson for kids, when the moral of the story is "if you arent perfect, you are just as bad as baby murderers, and will be killed."
Yeah without the redemption of Christ this is pretty wild
I think the worst part about this movie is the ending. It's literally teaching children
"If you learn about God, your parents will stop arguing and being abusive"
What the actual fuck man
would have made more sense if maybe joshua busted in the door and made them say grace or something at the table and that's what magically fixed everything
@@barrothontherocks3325 How tf would that have made more sense
@@anstupid4093 anything makes more sense than him killing the devil and magically fixing a failing marriage somehow
Instructions unclear, I read the necronomicon /j
I mean that's arguably not even the worst lesson they teach, given that earlier they say "If a strange man appears in your room, and wants you to come with him not knowing where you're going, go with him, no questions asked!"
This movie was dragged from the deep dark depths of hell to teach us a *biblically accurate* story about a lion with emotionally abusive parents
I audibly laughed at this
pretty much, yeah
Except that’s it’s not biblically accurate.
Like most of Christianity, most Christians have cherry picked out all the parts they don’t like.
@@justinmartin4662 No Justin I assure you.. it is biblically accurate.
“This ghost is a registered sex offender. Everything this guy has said other than a lesson about God has been sus.”
Ah, so he’s a _priest._ Gotcha.
the way i cackled at this oh my god
That killed me💀
THATS WHAT I SAID I WAS LIKE "HOLY SHIT MAN THATS SOME SEX OFFENDER SHIT WHAT THA FUCK-?!"
This is funny but it also hurts lmao
Lmao bruh
Chris is 100% not allowed within 1000 feet of a school
The lion-parent argument unlocked my memories of that facade game. “tinkering with that car again, trip?”
“its my day off, grace!”
Melon.
They sound so eerily similar
@@copper9687 *stares at you awkwardly for 3 seconds*
*Game crashes*
MCDONALDS NAD YOU
@@copper9687 😮😠 Okay, I think it's your time to leave.
As a Christian I am ashamed I didn’t grow up with this masterpiece.
😂me too! It’s such a shame man
5 pogging Moses and 1 angry Pharoah
as someone who is anti-religious, i too am ashamed I didn't see such a glorious film
Honestly….😢😢
@@realperson7649 that line had me in tears
I'm so glad the only Christian content I was subjected to as a child was veggie tales and the prince of Egypt and not whatever I just witnessed
for being christian veggietales still slaps
same
Behold, the only 2 watchable christian anythings
Listen, doesn't matter what you believe, Veggitales was, is, and forever will be the pinnacle of child's tv.
@Qwilldred I don’t know if I should thank you for the nostalgia trip, or curse you for getting that song stuck in my head-
I remember watching this movie as a child i swear to God. I went to a really weird private school and they showed this movie to us. I vividly remember that after I had the worst nightmare I've ever had- after that night I couldn't sleep alone for a month I am dead serious
Was your dream a multi-year experience of your namesake? Did some weird predatory bear take you to live the life of the biblical Hannah?
That's a whole different flavor of religious trauma
@@riley_6363 lemon flavor
Chris found his next child to kidnap and take on a very obviously safe trip
@@Cosmerii little einsteins moment
Saberspark’s reanimated version of this movie is by far one of the greatest abominations I’ve ever seen in my life. There’s the perfect amount of people genuinely trying their best, people just shitposting, and furries. And the different interpretations of Chris really top it all off.
It’s a disasterpiece
@@JoshuaAndres one of the best disasterpieces I’ve ever seen tbh
@@thequeenofcringe1585 link? It sounds perfect. 😂
Link?
The furries were the best part
2:42 - They may not even be talking about their whole house when they say "den". A lot of people refer to the family room or living room as a den instead. So, instead of a single, small, insignificant change, they may have just made no changes whatsoever.
This movie missed the most important part of the parting of the red sea.
I didn't see a beyblade parting it. How could they forget such an INTEGRAL part of the story!
The idea of a character going through a 40 year long dream as a kid is actually a cool concept for a film.
Isn't that basically what happened In the first Narnia book?
Isn't that kinda the plot of Junji Ito's The Long Dream?
Best thing about your channel is that the random ass topics you cover make them really fun to show to new people
Agree
Throughout the movie, Chris gave such creep and manipulator vibes I was constantly questioning his true intentions.
26:23 the fact he says “I thought I was dreaming!” Truly shows how long he has been experiencing this nightmare for that he has even forgot it was a dream to begin with and the though it was one at some point was nothing more than a distant thought
IT'S THE FUCKING INNER LIGHT EPISODE OF STAR TREK!
Truly a horror movie.
Adapting Exodus for a child's movie is insane. Literally a story about escaped slaves committing a genocide to establish a theocratic ethnostate.
This felt like watching a VHS tape I found in the basement of an abandoned house, thanks Ted very cool
This is the only movie I've ever seen where I think it would be LESS creepy if the animals were anatomically correct.
To be clear you want them to be red rocketed up and that will make this less weird? Are we sure about this chief lol
@@monhi64 what? I'm pretty sure just look like animals in a kid friendly way so you know without red rockets and such
@@monhi64 dawg what
I love how Ted rightfully calls out how slavery is morally wrong, but ignores baby murder.
As he should
What's wrong with killing babies?
Good to see where two-faced Teddy's boundaries lie
But they killed children when they took over the city?
There's nothing wrong with baby murder
25:25 and while this is happening there's like the most happy, kirby track sounding song playing as if thousands of people aren't dying in seconds
I like how the first reaction to him being hated by his parents is to toss him into a dangerous part of a biblical tale
Just checked my Bible and I can confirm that Joshua did say “LETS GET THESE GUYS”
11:23 really just hit the griddy whilst with Moses.
I love how the reason for the people being bad is that they broke laws they never knew about instead of.. y know…
*brutally killing a child*
also he says ritual sacrifice is "detestable to god"... have these people read the old testament?
@@carlywelch4935 Yeah, like, the whole point is that it's a HUMAN sacrifice. God allowed ritual sacrifice of animals, so it's so weird that they didn't explain that crucia; detail
The punishment for the murder of their own citizens, was the murder of all the citizens 😅
@@jacobwheeler1348 they are animals.
@@bungiecrimes7247 and it's just a child 🤷♂️
I love that when the battle scene started Ted entirely stopped talking about how bad the movie is and just started talking about how cool he thought the battle scene was.
It's because it's a cool battle scene. You seen the bible? It's got some really cool battles, Ted would agree
As a Christian, I can confirm that this scares the living snot out of me.
"Because children fear the unknown..and I have NO IDEA what that thing is." This made me laugh
Saberspark got his community together to reanimate Joshua and the Promised Land, I highly reccomend watching it!
Lots of biblically accurate angels 😌
The reanimated version was so amazing, best thing I've watched in 2022 so far, I hope ted sees it as well
It’s really awesome yea, everyone did fantastic work on that collab
NO! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Biblically "accurate" angels are fucking terrifying
@@emdo8437 by “ ‘accurate’ ” do you mean that the chapter that everyone refers to is high symbolic and not literal.
As a Christian, this is one of the funniest interpretations of the Bible I’ve ever seen
as a pagan, this is also one of the funniest interpretations of the bible Ive ever seen
As an atheist, this is also also one of the funniest interpretations of the Bible I’ve ever seen
As an agnostic, this is also one of the funniest interpretations of the Bible I've ever seen
As just some guy, this is also also also one of the funniest interpretations of the bible I've ever seen.
As an Alcoholic I need help
14:14 this needs to be recreated with good animation cause oh my god that sounds like the most badass entrance to battle ever
14:19
You can literally see them dive straight at the enemy 😆
there's a whole reanimated Joshua and the Promised Land on RUclips!
the angels beating tf out of jericho is already funny as hell but the colonial ass music in the background really is the cherry on top
The use of humans on the egyptian art actually makes sense, since there would have also been anthropomorphic bipedal creatures too. theyve just been swapped
I assumed he just used a jpeg from google for a texture
Also the folks are working on computers. One guy is wearing a neck tie. Why is nobody talking about that?
"Wouldn't it be crazy if like, there were big naked guys who wore blankets and shit"
"What"
"Like a version of us that's just naked with the only exception being their head"
"Like a monkey?"
"No idiot monkeys aren't naked."
"A sphynx?"
"No, they have no fur on their head. I'm talking like, they got the ears of of a monkey and manes like lions but that don't loop around the neck."
"I-"
"And beards, they got beards like that Moses guy."
"Wh-"
"Yeah but sometimes they shave them off even if it's winter"
"J-"
"No no man listen. I'm cooking here. Wouldn't it be wild if those existed."
"I- *sigh* sure..."
"Do you think thst they'd make fun of each other for wearing blankets all the time like weirdos"
"Maybe?"
"That'd be soooo crazy"
"Hello it is me the painter you hired what do you want to be painted on your wall"
"I WANT BIG NAKED THINGS WEARING BLANKETS"
“He’s like the John Wick of the Bible”
- Ted Nivison, 2022
Time stamp for anyone who wants it - 15:08
Tiger guy is built different
This is probably my most replayed video ever. I don't know why but whenever I feel bad youtube just recommends it again and I can't help watching it. I've been struggling with a bunch of mental health problems recently and I just wanted to say thank you for cheering me up ❤
Hey, sorry I know I'm just an internet stranger who can't really help in a very meaningful way, but I hope that situation improves for you. If there is in fact a way that an internet stranger could help you, like if you just need someone to talk to, I guess feel free to let me know? But otherwise, just offering my condolences
from one person with mental health conditions to another! i hope things get better for you soon! i also equally love this video and have it on a comfort watch playlist when im not feeling great
wow this is so wholesome ❤
At 24:18, Joshua treats the angel like he has never met someone like Chris before, which means that Chris most certainly abandoned Joshua and stopped talking to him at some point on his 40 year mind journey.
Joshua says “They killed a baby” too calmly. There’s some tenderness in his voice, but watching a town murder a baby is quite different from war. I wish they had him read the line very choked up. Barely able to get the words out
As a Christian, I can’t wait to see how awful this is.
Edit: yeah that movie was horrible
"the only reason why we have a problem with slavery in this context is because god wasn't a fan of it?" you did it! you broke christianity down to it's bare essentials!
Deeper but gosh a bunch of Christians make it seem that way
Extra wack because slavery of other people was considered cool and rad
slavery was alot different back then and wasnt as bad as today
@@micahcutliff8684 yeesh
@@micahcutliff8684 it doesn’t matter if it was better then.
As a child, I would get put in the kids’ daycare/Sunday-school room. The PUPPETS used for EVERYTHING were TERRIFYING. There was a long, tall blue one with that goofy, deep, clown voice that haunt children’s nightmares. I was petrified by that one to the point of sobbing and begging for my parents several times as the ushers were trying to find them in a massive church. The girl tried to reassure me that they were on the way, but I needed them to get me outta that room immediately. That happened each time, so my parents just brought me into the main church. (I cried there bc if you’re trying to sing praises loud enough to reach high heaven, it’s also loud enough to make young ears bleed. I had to stuff paper towel bits into my ears to dampen the sheer volume of an Episcopalian choir.)
I grew up attending a mega church. The preaching style and judgy parts didn’t sit right with me, so I follow podcast sermons every now and then. I’m probably a Red Letter Christian now because I know they’re are metaphors and ancient cultures that are important context for the Bible. I’m bisexual, and I think that’s just fine based on monks’ interpretations.
15:12 bro “the John Wick of the Bible” puts an image in my head that makes me lie awake at night
Jesus wick
11:36 "these characters look like they're very recently learning motor skills"
1:55 "our main character joshua is incredibly good at motor skills"
SOMETHINGS NOT ADDING UP TED
Dudes got a nasty griddy
The one at 1:55 was probably sarcasm
Do you think these lions need physical therapy… ah though theyd be forced to go through insurance hell.. find no open timeslot covered by their insurance at an okay facility… i pity them…
WHY IS ALL OF THIS SO THREATENING?!?! the dad walking in made me INSTANTLY scared, the spirit straight up is a kidnapper. this shit is terrifying!
i feel like jim lion's writing what he knows. whether that means we should be concerned for him or about him, im not sure..
"he's like the john wick of the bible" that made me chuckle profusely
I watched this completely sober and I feel like this entire movie is equivalent to an edible. Maybe not a 400mg one, but still a decent amount.
I’ve never done drugs, but I’d assume this movie is what it’s like.
@@grumlinfunker9704 idk how to explain it but the vibes are similar to if you've had just a bit too much of any cannabinoid and you start hallucinating a little
@@RealElongatedMuskrat this is like straight up salvia shit
I never thought that the question "are humans canon?" would be one that I ever have to ask.
I remember watching this 2 years ago I thought it was all just a really bad dream but now that I see this I know that my deepest darkest fears can become a reality
I'm very late, but it was my understanding that Moses is a cucumber. This movie has some explaining to do.
Side note: as an animator, I'm pretty sure the horses are green because they initially wanted them to stand out against a solid sheet layer for the background, but then just never changed it when they created the landscape. So initially, they were trying to make it easier to discern each frame of the walk cycle, and once grass was added, we now have camouflage horses. Nature is beautiful
Leave it to Ted to put “THIS IS SCARY” in the thumbnail JUUUST so you know this is disturbing, for the people who are apparently three hundred feet tall and can’t see the actual name of the video. Thanks for being so considerate!
Holyshit calm down geez
Thank you Nazrin very cool
jesus christ dude chill out
someone was too short to the read the title….
he does that because he is one of those 300ft tall people
Here’s the thing, going to a religious school and them showing you any media at all is usually not a good idea. But occasionally there’s a decent movie (in terms of animation) I think the movies called the prince of Egypt but the animation quality is immaculate and really had some decent effort poured into it.
That's the one. Genuinely phenomenal film. The storytelling is great, the animation is vivid, and the songs
S L A P P
Prince of Egypt fucking slaps, honestly
@@thequeenofcringe1585 It truly does
This movie looks like it's going to take a really disturbing turn at any moment
It did... Multiple times
The entire movie is a bunch of disturbing turns
Every Christian movie studio wants what VeggieTales had but they will never get it. VeggieTales was absolutely goated and nothing can compare.
Also, I am a Christian and I have grown up in the church my whole life but honestly ... the Old Testament is so confusing and some of the stories in it are absolutely wild to say the least. May I recommend Elisha and the bears?
As a non religious person I still loved veggie tales as a kid, I honestly had no idea it was a religious show till being an adult
@@noodlelynoodle. I always wondered why they had messages by someone at a “time” like 13:02 when it was time for Qwerty, now I know they’re supposed to be bible verses
Isn't that the one where a bunch of kids get mauled to death because they made fun of some guy being bald?
@@fukkthisnewupdate8882yea, that's a fun one
As a Christian, I can assure you this is the most inaccurate and most hilarious recreation of the story I’ve ever seen, and I’m only 4 minutes into the video.
After watching the whole video, the movie just entirely misses the point. If any non-Christian’s want to understand the actual thing more, I suggest watching the prince of Egypt which is an actually decent movie
I didn't know there were furries in the old testament but it makes sense.
@@micahneil1722 Prince of Egypt is an amazing movie with breathtaking animation.
@@lunawolfheart336 also the prince of Egypt is surprisingly accurate with a breath taking story
Enjoying learning about Jewish history?
16:35 hey I got some screentime! Thanks for including me in one of your vids!!
My rage has been calmed Ted has uploaded
from going to catholic schools up until college i can personally say that all christian movies could not be edited worse
At approximately 15:24 the badass tiger turns his head and I imagined him saying “roadhouse” like Peter griffin
15:45 I mean if I saw God I would probably would be making the same face.
real
15:55 I think Moses had been burning another kind of bush.
Thank you for this
20:53 look at that strut😩
This movie has a sort of "joke fandom" for it where everyone likes it purely because it is horrible
Just because something is horrible doesn't automatically mean it's enjoyable. Some reasons for being horrible can be offensive, boring or just annoying, with comedies that aren't funny being a top example. But I do agree, it just so happens that this is the best kind of horrible. The ridiculous writing, and some of the expressions are among the best! Plus, at least Jim Lion did what he could despite having so little to work with.
18:39 Dear Saberspark viewer, here's what you're looking for
4:49
“In the most gentle voice I’ve ever seen”
22:08 "Chris is literally gaslighting a child into performing genocide now"
Sounds like Flowey to me.
Never have heard something more true than that.
That's a wonderful idea!
TED! If you’re interested in this rabbit hole, SaberSpark and a very talented team actually RE-ANIMATED this entire movie! It’s an actual gem and definitely worth checking out.
I've watched this so many times to put me to sleep I'm out before "pick up your stuff Joshua"
4:24
Oh no! It's Dogma!
BLASPHEMY AGAINST THE HOLY SPIRIT!
dogma balls
@@Atompilzgreg Isaac reference??!!
the static ghost feels straight out of the mandela catalogue and i am terrified. i’ve seen this video at least 6 times and every time i am subjected to that thing it becomes more unsettling
nah facts bro
the va voicing the pink imp fairy thingy sounds so unimpressed but also why is his mic quality so much better
as a jew that was taught all this in class and never really liked learning it all, i kinda wish they showed me this movie instead this shit is hilarious
I’m not gonna lie, Joshua had better character development than any Hollywood character
Dude my cousin showed me this “movie” back in 2019, this is terrifying. Truly horrific.
I liked the part where joshua said “it’s joshin’ time,” and joshed all over the bad guys
Hell yeah, 30 min video from Ted is perfect thing after a shitty day which supposed to be a nice one. Thank you for making it a little bit better!
11:30 lion griddy
woah this is like a video
i agree random person on the internet 👍
Bread👍
Milk 👍
This movie could be used by predators to groom kids, they're actually portraying predators taking kids out of home
18:19 literally just the end of The Grinch
9:11 I mean, chris the ghost is obviously a priest of some sort, why wouldn’t he be a sex offender?
14:45 I can't be the only one who completely forgot that Chris' name was fucking Chris by this point, right? Please validate me.
"The nature of this creature I am unsure of."
- me at my reflection in the mirror
It looks like it was animated using the computers used during the moon landing.
nah, it wouldn't look THIS fake
@@FlareStorms yeah! They had cg good enough to actually make a believable moon to film on.
7:30... Are the Egyptians on computers? 😭
My lord, they are!
This is what I think when people refer to things “acid to the eyes” like there’s something so uncanny and difficult to watch ab this…
11:51 "Just one small problem: TO WHO BEN? FUCKING AQUAMAN??"
21:02 Chris is an empath