I feel like you need to find someone who actually has a narcissistic mother because this ain’t it. This is someone who grew up with a mother suffering from mental illness & an addictive personality.
Right, I’m just a few minutes in and hearing “my childhood was good”, “we got whatever we wanted”, “we could do whatever we wanted”…. I was fortunate to have wonderful parents, but I have friends who WERE raised by a narcissistic mother and there is lasting enormous trauma and fear of doing something the wrong way instilled in them from childhood….
as a mental health professional, this is not enough information to classify this as narcissism. her mother was certainly mentally ill and this girl felt the repercussions of that. my parents are both mentally ill so i know that it isnt easy to be the child in that situation and it comes with a great deal of trauma, but this is not the same as narcissism. she has every right to be hurt by her trauma and she is clearly still very angry, but i don’t think narcissism is the right word for that.
Yeah, psychologist here and I don't really see the narcissism either. I see a damaged/distanced relationship between mother and daughter, but no real indication of narcissistic abuse.
the mother would put her children on the spot, in public, make them embarrassed, like what else is it then, mania doesnt make you want to embarrass your children
@@CAMZART actually, mania can cause impulsiveness and heightened emotions. So, as I’m sure you can imagine, that can cause people to do some things that make no sense, and can be embarrassing for others.
her mother definitely wasn’t a good parent but she was NOT a narcissist. if anything i feel like i heard so many more narcissistic qualities from the guest speaker rather than what she listed about her mom.
The mother is married to her father, up and leaves to go visit a new boyfriend without telling anyone, on the phone all day on Xmas and mom is not narcissist?? What would you call her? Selfish, self centered ? Not depressed at all, so it’s consistent w/ narcissists
the repetitive mocking tone of voice, putting her mother down for her weight and emphasizing how much that affected HER, and the fact that absolutely NO ABUSE was mentioned leads me to believe this girl is the true narcissist and projecting. she didn't even care about her parents marriage because she was only worried about herself! this entire podcast consisted of minor inconveniences, what a joke. i was raised by a grandiose narcissist so it's hard for me not to feel disgusted.
I agree 100%. She seems like a privileged little princess who got whatever she wanted and had some minor inconveniences with her mom. It appears she has no clue what actually living with a narcissist is like.
Opening credit in the daughters names and forcing the ex husband to pay for her new boyfriends children’s phones and stealing from her own children wasn’t abuse?
@@danyizzl829 no, that was irresponsible and selfish. abuse is psychological torment that stays with you for years or forever. not once did this girl mention abusive behavior from her mother.
Dude I hate to sound negative… but your mum doesn’t sound like a narcissist, she sounds like she’s depressed and was doing what she could to self medicate and handle that. You have to remember that your parent who has had a whole life before you, is dealing with things you have no idea about. This girl sounds entitled, delusional, and lacks the sense of compassion for her family member. Her sister sounds way more understanding and caring. Man parents aren’t perfect people, she needs to change her perception that parents are god tier human beings who don’t make mistakes. They’re still children navigating the world for the first time. Compassion and understanding goes a long way
@@eloramckenzie8896 but people shouldn't throw around the word narcissist so easily, a true narcissist goes out of their way to make a person suffer and is very calculating, like this person said the mother does not sound like a narcissist.
Her mom sounds like someone with Bipolar Disorder when it comes to mania and depression, but her mom tried to give her things, let her wear most of the things she wanted except combat boots, and this person just pushed her mom away. Refused to speak to her, tried to avoid her, body shamed her, does a mocking tone of voice to imitate her, talked about her eating disorder in a mocking way, and just really seems to hate her, but her mom loves her. Why, I don't know. Parental instinct, I guess.
@@eloramckenzie8896OK re: finances My mum Had a compulsive Shopping Habit, still has it Sometimes. Its a Strain, especially when you are the one used to justify the Shopping Habit (she would buy stuff and then Claim it's for me, Independent of If i need or liked it. If it was cute to her, she bought it.) However, that is Not narcissism. Its a whole issue to itself. And No, it doesnt have to be Manipulation, it can also He a diversion tactic to keep attention away from herself. Manipulation would be doing IeT to achieve a certain behavior in her daughter, opening a bank Account in her Name sounds more Like an attempt to enable her own behavior. Theres a difference
“You’re not supposed to have any boyfriends because you’re my mom”? Wtf. Your mom is bipolar, not narcissist. Unless you’re just a terrible story teller, she’s def not a narcissist. Nothing you said shows that.
From shaming her mother for being obese, to then saying her mother's eating disorder was "weird"????. She just sounds like an angsty teenager. Her mother had a mental illness and did what she could when she could by the sounds of it. this whole episode left a horrible taste in my mouth.
Exsctly and at the end after bashing her mentally Ill mom and calling her a narcissist, she says how she’s only done this to help her?? That is such a narcissistic thing to say.
The story about her mom not being able to fit in the ride at the amusement park was so heartbreaking and the fact that she made it about herself was soo….
You also have to look at it from her point of view, she was a kid. Kids get embarrassed from their parents all the time. She explained how her mom never showed her as much love as she did with her sister. It’s not her fault she couldn’t express love and compassion for her mom. The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree
I have an extremely narcissistic parent. I have a social work degree and work at an emergency youth shelter. Ive worked with so many narcissistic parents and i kept thinking to myself while watching that this does not seem like a narcissistic parent. Of course, she has every right to feel the way she does. Its no doubt her mom wasnt a perfect parent (who is?), but it seems pretty clear mom was struggling with a lot. Im glad to see I'm not the only one who thinks the same.
Yeah, there's really no narcissistic behaviors here. "She didn't let me wear combat boots! She had depressive episodes!" ma'am that's not what narcissism is, that's 1. normal and 2. part of having bipolar depression.
@morganqorishchi8181 i dont know what her diagnosis is but she did horrible stuff like abusing her private information to open credit cards ,thats horrible in my eyes
@@smsmtunis definitely horrible, but more a reflex of a manic episode than a narcissist move in that context. She sair herself her mother was diagnosed with bipolar disorder
I relate to her feelings as I felt this way towards my own mother for a long time in my life. But there comes a time, age etc you realise that people are complex and there are reasons behind the way they act. You treat everyone with the benefit of the doubt as you’d hope they treat you. This woman needs to forgive her mother and she may miraculously see her in a different light. I think if she had done this earlier, instead of isolating and berating her mother, treating her gently a lot of things would of been different. There is peace in forgiveness.
Shes literally describing herself getting spoiled, mocks her mother's every move, and is shocked the relationship didn't turn out well? Yes there is pain in having absent parents but like her mother couldn't win, she's not willing to have empathy or nuance, and is airing all this out I what reads like a hit piece more than anything. Like are you sure it's your mom with the narcissistic tendencies??? Really?????
Her making fun of her mom's eating disorder, mocking her for nearly taking her own life, describing how she refused to speak to her mom, describes how she did things to irritate her mother, talks about how her mom would take her to do things and be the fun mom, and we're supposed to hate her mom? Her mom has Bipolar Disorder and was trying her absolute best and her kid fought her every inch of the way.
I was listening like is she the one that's nuts, her mom sounds great. My mom knew my dad let his friend feel me up at 10 but really needed her "me time" so she did nothing at all with that information. I just feel like people are victim of their own narcissistic bull shit only. I literally feel like she needs some self reflection. She made me hate her, she has no clue what living with a real mental case is. Oh your mom took you to chucky cheese, then was tired, oh my gawwwwd, I wish I had her mom. I think also that all people have a public and private side. This girls such a snotty little brat. She's expecting perfection and people are not perfect, if youre not being abused, stfu. Super sad and pathetic.
I’m glad I’m NOT the only one who listened to this and got a huge sense of entitlement from this chick. She sounds privileged & selfish. Her mother doesn’t sound like a narcissist at all. Maybe this girl is projecting …..
50 minutes in she makes fun of her mom for having suicidal ideation and checking into a psych ward. That's beyond selfishness, that's genuinely sick. Mocking a family member who nearly killed themselves is vile.
@@morganqorishchi8181selfish? she was a child who was forced to be the parent because her mom had issues. of course she would hold some sort of resentment towards her even if it’s right or wrong. she was like 10 years old, no 10 year old should have to deal with that.
@@lailareinhart7310 right, but then again, no mother should be mocked or exploited to the internet about her suicide attempt, declining mental health, and being overweight. they are both in the wrong but at the very least the mother tried to get help. what did this girl do? bully her on the internet. this is airing out family business as opposed to drawing awareness to narcissistic parents.
@@allyflores4775 tried to get help? the girl literally said she wasn’t being truthful to her therapist for YEARS. it doesn’t seem like she wants the help. and the mom is probably already in her 50/60s she won’t even know about this video. the girls feelings are valid.
i'm so glad that the host pointed out that perhaps her mother wasn't doing what she was doing to be malicious. it sounds like her mother has an emotional dysregulation disorder, such as bipolar. reckless spending and depression doesn't make someone a narcissist. also, a narcissist would NEVER voluntarily check themselves into a mental institution! all i am getting from this girl is a sense of entitlement and the need to blame her mother for everything in life that didn't go her way, and that actually IS narcissistic.
Thank you I got the same vibe. She's blaming a lot on her mom and lacking a lot of compassion. The way she talks about her being 300 and being SO HUGE and how that was so hard on HER..... yikes
totally agree. also uncomfy about how she talks ab her mother’s mania with actual disgust and calls it “crazy” despite it being part of a diagnosed mental illness
especially when she goes onto say that she was personally embarrassed that her mother was morbidly obese and in the same vain acknowledge that she put in the effort to get into shape just for her to say that it became a problem is so disgusting to me because imagine putting the effort to make your self feel good only for your own child to just shame you online is so awful..
she lost me when she said her parents worked and didnt have time to play barbies. like wow girl some of us actually have actual issues. i hated this . coming from someone with actual issues and didnt get shit, like girl you just wanted to seem interesting, i have twins no parent is perfect what did you expect. you had a structured and normal life...
I know, right? Her mom got her everything she herself didn't have as a kid and new toys and she's over here going, "I was unloved! This home was unhealthy!" ma'am some of us have been through actual abuse.
seriously like yeah you have trauma from having emotionally unavailable parents but stop acting like you’ve had to go through some serious serious shit like??
I was just so confused like I really was waiting for the narcissist part to come but it seems like she was the narcissist. My ex was one as well so I know all about it . I was so disappointed. She needs to be GREATFUL and thanking her mom for what she has done instead of only thinking about the things she couldn’t do . Like give her a break I wanna see how she feels when she had kids but she seems like a person who can’t keep relationships too long so if she does have a kid she’ll probably be a single mom. I wanna see that interview
Also she DID have quality time she clearly said her mom would take them out to do stuff and even her friends and her friends thought she was cool probably bc SHE WAS! And they had worse actual issues at home !
No disrespect to the guest. It sounds like her Mom was neglectful and perhaps not a great mother, but nothing mentioned sounded like dealing with a Narcissistic parent. She sounds like someone dealing with a emotional dysregulation disorder.
Her mom is not a narcissist and it's inaccurate to title this episode this way. Her mom had Bipolar Disorder, eating disorder behaviors, and the fact that this woman never mentioned any abuse from her mother but *does* say things like "my mom got me a tie I wanted" and "my mom waited in a hot line with me all day to go on a ride" is very telling. "I wore things I know my mom hated!" cool so did I in middle school but that doesn't mean my mom is a narcissist or even abusive. Her mom was trying to get better - going to therapy, checking into a mental health ward, taking her places, getting her things, attempting not to be a totally absent parent despite her depressive episodes - and while it sucks that this person doesn't feel like she connected with her mom, her saying "I was on my own" is kind of ridiculous. You had two loving parents who didn't abuse you and who wanted to give you a good life. Your sister has a good relationship with her because she spoke to her. You didn't, so you don't. That's not your mom having narcissism, that's a natural consequence of your actions.
So just bc someone wasn’t beat to shit by their parents means they don’t have the right to feel they were not loved and emotionally abused? And How can you say that when the adult makes conscious choices and the child just cannot until a certain stage in their life? Her mother should’ve never had children, - Sarah didn’t come out the womb NOT talking to her mom, she felt she couldn’t go to her mom for anything - maybe the definition of narcissism doesn’t fit for the first half of the story but complete manic and selfish behavior on the behalf of the mother, absolutely. Addict would be more fitting for this title - for sure. Her mom was someone who just should’ve never had children - and it shows esp why her and her husband/Sarah’s father, we’re together only bc of a pregnancy, so right to begin with - Sarah was born into a non-loving forced partnership.
This is a huge blame sesh. I was looking forward to hearing this story thinking it would actually be a parent with narcissistic tendencies but quiet the opposite I feel like this woman needs to reflect more on herself instead of blaming her mum for everything.
Yea my mom was 100% narc still is to this day. Thought I was able to related and couldn’t because I wasn’t seeing the narc in her mom. I think he mom just maybe mental health issue and she was being a kid and didn’t understand.
Her calling her mothers disordered eating “weird” is INSANE. Also the amount of time she repeats that her mother didn’t try while also listing numerous examples of things she’s done, but she says it in the tone of it’s not even good enough. Going through grandiose narcissistic abuse myself, weight is never something that has anything to do with the mental illness of narcissism.. I don’t even get it. She calls her huge and morbidly obese and then she gets “obsessive” and anorexic and then she’s weird for that too? Pick one
Growing up i had a lot of friends with eating disorders and seeing how people talk about Eugenia cooney (not to say she’s never done anything wrong- but the general discourse surrounding her obligations with her disorder) have made me realize that not much has changed with this topic… people see the disordered person as inherently abusive, even if they didn’t try to push disordered habits onto the children / friends / etc
It’s so odd to me that she speaks of it as a burden and maybe an attention grab by her mother, like absolutely no empathy in her description of it . If someone when from obese to underweight I would think there was something very wrong but it takes a lot of work to even do that and must be so damaging to the body. My father has some very strong narcissistic traits but even and I’m no contact with him BUT there’s moments where I still feel bad for him, incredibly disappointed as well.
@@morganqorishchi8181makes me wonder if she is the true narc. Many of them love to throw that word on their “supply” to further the gaslighting and manipulation into making the supply see themselves as bad.
Surprisingly, I made it through this episode. The mocking voice, the entitlement, and zero empathy.. wow. Truly love listening to these episodes, but this wasn't it. I truly hope this woman heals her inner child.
I’m about halfway through and idk if I can finish it. She uses every opportunity to take a dig at her mom, even going so far as to discredit the guy she had an affair with solely bc he liked her mom
I’m over halfway through, learning about the money stuff her mom did. It’s really bad what the family had to go through, but it’s also very clear her mom is suffering with her mental health, doesn’t have it under control and isn’t receiving any support. I have empathy for both of them in this situation, yet I also have this feeling that it is too early for her to speak on this situation because of the way she’s talking about her mom. I agree that it seems like she really needs to heal her inner child.
I have an identical mother to her and I will say, it took me 10yrs of therapy to get to a point of acceptance and empathy. She is still caught up in the anger stage. It takes time and inner work.
@@ashleysartattack5600 I’m so happy you were able to overcame the anger and deal with some parts of your traumas. I hope you’re proud of your work, because this is so hard to do!
It's really telling to me that until her 20's, the only thing she can name her mom did "wrong" was not let her wear combat boots. Other than that, she got everything she wanted, and although she complains about not spending more time with her mom, she also says she did everything she could to avoid her. If you avoid someone, you don't get to complain they're not around you much.
I think Devorah actually realized in this interview that the girl was being a little dramatic and also insensitive to her mom. It seems clear to me when she brought up that when you have a mental illness you can’t just fix yourself.
To keep this short, this person could’ve been describing my mother and my family dynamic when I was growing up, I’ve literally never related to someones life story more. And I don’t pretend to be a mental health professional by any means, but I don’t think their mother is a narcissist (an opinion obviously based solely on this video as I do not know them). I just feel like that word gets tossed around so much these days that anyone who behaves selfishly is a narcissist when that’s just not how it works.
Honestly… this one wasn’t it. The entire time she mocked and put her mother down, when she made points that did not align what so ever to narcissism, her mother was depressed and had an addiction due to it. She tried her best by going to therapy, giving the kids everything she could… not a fan of this specific one.
You must have not watched the whole video. Her mother lied to her therapist and wasn’t getting the help she needed. Just because a parent buys you things doesn’t cover the neglect the daughter felt.
Only about a quarter into this podcast… but I really hope the mom doesn’t find this video. It seems like she’s already struggling with a number of things and it would really hurt to see your daughter go in front of the entirety of the internet and talk about how you were a horrible mother when really it seems like she was doing the best she could do. 😢
The way this girl is mocking her mom is cringey. The way she talks about her is riddled with hurt and resentment. It must have been a tough childhood living with this. I can relate with a lot of the emotionless relations. However, when I accepted my parents for who they were and got over blaming them for everything, we got a better relationship and I got to feel gratitude for everything that they did do. IMO, she needs a lot of healing.
I’m 10min in and my heart is breaking for her mother. Sounds like a woman who was struggling and still trying her best. I really hope this isn’t the take away my children have of me someday.
Change the title, this is a mom struggling with mental illness (it sounds like bipolar disorder from this story). Changing the title will prevent harmful misinformation - people should not associate bipolar disorder with narcissism.
My mom has borderline personality disorder. Her mom sounds very similar to my mom. Narcissism is characterized by feeling emotionless towards others, her mom clearly loved her but her mental health stopped her from showing it in the ways she needed. I love this podcast but you should definitely screen applicants more bc this title and everything she is speaking about is misleading since it doesn't represent true narcissism. (Coming from someone with 4 degrees is behavioral psychology)
This also sounds so much like my borderline mom. But, if her mom really is a “narcissist” shes more than likely to exhibit those same traits. I kind of see that in this interview.
@@lolcat10111 shyness and introversion self-consciousness insecurity defensiveness sensitivity to what others think of them None of which are mentioned in her story
Congrats to this guest for misdiagnosing her mother and also mocking her for being human and having issues!!!! She sounds like a total narcissist for having an ed and having to work to make ends meet 🎉
Agreed. I didn’t hear a single thjng that sounded like narcissistic behavior. And she brought up being obsessed w celebrity culture like wtf did that have to do w it ? Or …. Coming from someone actually raised by a narcissist mother, this chics childhood sounded amazing
Bro yesss and she hyper fixates on how her mother went BACK to college and even managed to ALMOST finish, on TOP of her mental health issues, obesity, and even the desire to check herself into a mental health institution
Calling her mom narcissistic for not being able to fit on a ride is such bs. She’s not the only one who waited in that line “all day”, her mom waited there too just to make her daughter happy. I can’t even take her seriously after that.
you said what i was thinking. i'm about halfway through the video at this point and i haven't heard a single narcissistic quality? if anything, the ride story makes the daughter seem like a narcissist!
@@brookeb9824it’s important to keep in mind that children of mentally ill parents build up so much resentment, that we even become petty over small situations that others wouldn’t see as a problem. When I lived with my mom I built resentment over the way she ate because I have misophonia and she would always chew with her mouth open.
Yea her mom’s weight issues is a horrible mean thing to put out there. I was overweight and very depressed and didn’t know it. You don’t choose to be overweight.
She lost me at the mocking voice. From someone who has a very troubled relationship with her mother, I feel we're not getying the full story here. I think her mother needed help and even asked for help, but never received it. And now it's too late.
Yeah, I see some things that are similar with my mom but my mom would never consider therapy. It seemed my mom tried some but on the other hand empathy only gave her ammo sadly... The good is still valuable.
do you usually hear these peoples stories before they come on? if not, i think there needs to be a little more screening before hand because anyone can say their parents was a narcissist but be misinformed.
I wonder that too, I thought her interviews were legit up until this point where I feel like anyone can just come on and say anything. My dad has more narcissistic traits than her mother did and even then I wouldn’t call him a narcissist.
Agreed. But I also feel like maybe the host wants to be in the moment with the story teller...either way, this person sounds like she probably glossed up her story in an effort to get sympathy.
I feel like I’m listening to a 16 year old rant about their mom. The immature gripes and judgment. It sucks she feels that way, but seems like she needs to do some self reflection and gratitude.
You know, when I was 16 I had these kinds of thoughts about my dad. Then I read his life story, which he had written out on a Word document on his computer, and I stopped having these kinds of feelings because even at 16, empathy and understanding is a thing. The second you pause and think about your parent as a person with reasons they have flaws, you stop having these immature gripes and realize they're just doing their best. Is my dad perfect? No. Is he absolutely fantastic compared to his parents? Beyond belief, yes. Can't we just give parents credit for what they're getting right? They're trying and that's more than a lot of parents do.
are you serious....the broad committed a felony offense by stealing multiple people's identities. just cause she wasn't getting beat up she wasn't abused wow
Her mother does not sound like a narcissist. She is demonising her mother for being bipolar, has zero compassion and doesn't seem grateful for anything. Unbelievably selfish, spoilt and entitled person. This episode made me sad and angry for all the wrong reasons.
Her making fun of her mom for having suicidal ideation and going to a mental health ward makes me want to go, "Okay, fine. You can stop being this woman's daughter and I'll adopt her as my mom instead, just so she never has to have someone be that cruel to her ever again." Bipolar Disorder is a struggle but even if her mom was a narcissist - which she isn't - it's never okay to make fun of someone who's thinking about ending their own life, period, ever.
i’m kind of shocked by this to be honest… i was raised with narcissistic parents and the second she said they got everything they wanted and had no rules, i just. i agree with everyone saying it’s invalidating. i feel bad for her because it’s clear she’s hurt by her moms depression but holy cow.
if u haven't watched the video all the way through, don't. I was waiting for her to state an actual problem but it was just the brat talking abt how fat her mom is and complaining she didn't sit there and play w/ barbies with her. She needs to do her research on narcissism. Don't waste your time.
Although I understand her point of view on how her moms actions and behavior affected her, I really think that she sounds more narcissistic then her mother. Her mother sounds like she struggled mentally since a young age and really needed proper care and direction. This girl sounds like she was more embarrassed to have a mom like this then actually understanding that there might have been more going on internally.
Her making fun of and mocking her mom for asking where they were going and wanting to go to dinner with them at 1:55:30 and then saying they wouldn’t tell her “just to f*ck with her” is so telling. Were you the victim in that moment? Did that help you and your mothers relationship? It’s giving mean girl, I’m sure she made her mothers life hell. This episode should be renamed “Im a Narcissist”
Listening to this as a mother, with a narcissistic mother, was really hard. It was invalidating as a daughter of one, and disheartening as a parent to think that children have such a hard time thinking of their parents as HUMAN. This woman seems to be very self-involved and expected her mom to be a perfect person/mother. Newsflash- it doesn’t exist. I hope you heal enough to have relationship with your mom one day.
I LOVE this podcast, love hearing peoples stories but my fav part is hearing Devorahs perspective of their situations too; and in this episode Devorah barely spoke. The one time she did & tried to tell this girl that maybe her mother isn’t this awful person, maybe it’s just symptoms of her mental illness; she completely shut it down. It seems like that made Devorah stop giving genuine answers/opinions after that because this girl didn’t want to hear anything other than what she wants to believe. It’s no one else’s right to tell this girl what she felt / experienced but it SOUNDS like her mom just struggled badly with bipolar disorder & depression. It doesn’t sound like she was an abusive or hateful person.
It also sounded like her mom needed more affection and appreciation from her daughters! It honestly sounded like her mom struggled so much in her own childhood and just wanted to provide a softer upbringing for her own kids.
How are you going to read your mother's PRIVATE journal and get mad about what was in there??!!? Imagine if her mom had read HER journal. The complete lack of self awareness is disturbing
My dad wrote his life story on a Word document on his computer. I read it when I was 16 and it didn't make me mad at him, it made me really horrified because holy shit, my grandparents were abusive to him. No wonder he's got control issues and irrational anxieties, he went through some things that I would never have been able to survive. If you have empathy, stumbling across your parent's inner thoughts makes you want to hug them and tell them it'll be okay.
“My mom went out to eat way too much, she never gave me the chance to be healthy” Five minutes later, “I’d have to ask my sister to get her to get us to get Chinese food” This episode was honestly hard to listen to. I’m sure the mom wasn’t perfect, but come on… please go talk to someone about this and heal yourself instead of bashing her for two hours on a public podcast and making fun of her for being overweight.
Then she said the mom made her fat. Mmmm...mom may have instilled bad eating habits for sure, but at a certain age, you have to take responsibility for yourself when it comes to the amount of food you eat.
Note to the daughter: I grew up with a mother who mocked me, mimicked the things I said in a whiny/snotty voice, (still does and she is now in her 70's) and criticized me constantly. I hated her for it. I noticed you doing all of that in reference to your mother in this interview, please think about how that kind of thing may also come out if and when you have kids...(they will inevitably stress and irk you at times) hopefully you won't do that to them.
Literally, ots doing a doservice to mental health advocacy. Sometimes people are selfish. Unless she was DIAGNOSED a narcissist, this is just a hit piece on her mom and if anything makes her look like a spoiled brat. Yes absentee parents can be painful but nothing her mother did was good enough for her so what to do you expect???
@@jkatttt1699her mom stole her sister's college fund. Stole their dolls, put her new boyfriend on her dad's tab, did so many weird narcissistic things lol. How can you guys not even acknowledge that although there is no diagnosis, that many of her actions were narcissistic... (As well as impulsive and selfish.)
but people (like me) who grew up with an actual narcissist as a parent appreciate these stories and this channel entirely. it is overused and misused, but don't let that take away from people like this woman and others like us.
Yes!! People really abuse the term “narcissist” and some truly do not even know the definition and symptoms. People throw the term out there like it’s nothing.
As someone who dated a narcissist for many years,I had this feeling all throughout that the mom didn’t sound like a narcissist, rather someone who was deeply depressed and several other mental health struggles. The first thing that got my attention was the fact her mom went to therapy, and that she would have “down days” - this shows that her mom had some form of self awareness. She was aware of her struggles, and her behaviour was how she coped. Whereas a narcissist may not ever go to therapy due to lack of self awareness. A narcissists “depression” always has a feeling with it that you are the reason they are depressed, they never appear truly depressed.
Yup. Narcissists are formed from emotionally neglectful parents so her mom’s behavior due to her untreated bipolar disorder very well could have resulted in the daughter developing NPD
This episode made me feel horrible about my parenting solely on the fact that I struggle with my weight. I really hope my teenage daughter does not judge me, call me huge or hyperfixate on that :(
I'm 32. My mother has always struggled with her weight as long as I can remember. She is the greatest mother I could ever ask for, and I call her at least once a week. No amount of weight could make me love her less! I hope this gives you some encouragement. I think this women has deeper unresolved issues causing her to feel the way she does towards her mother.
My daughter is still little & im over weight & hearing this talk worries me about later being judged! I’m technically morbidly obese because I’m short but I can still fit rides (last time I checked anyways) I would be broken to hear my daughter talk about my depression or weight like this
all throughout this episode all i wanted to do was to scream at her: get over yourself like seriously ... i do too have a weird relationship with my mum mostly due to both our mental health issues but to put all the blame on her mum when she was probably just trying to do her best and trying to make it seem as her mum's struggles were a bother to her ... i still finished it to see if it got "better" but sadly no
I just know Dev regretted this one a bit… 😅 this isn’t narcissism at all… sounds like a regular strained mother/daughter relationship. Her mother was clearly dealing with her own demons and mental health struggles, but it’s far from narcissism.
Get this girl into therapy. She is absolutely allowed to feel her own feelings but I feel like this is one of those things that can look completely different from every perspective. I feel like this is mostly her bashing her mother rather than telling her story? Like continuously mentioning how her mom liked her sister so much more. Like... this is not factual. This is an over exaggerated assumption. Also seems like mom has a mental disorder that needs tended to.
I was thinking this This “ interview” makes more sense as a therapy session where the guest can complain nonstop, however unproductive and immaturely she wishes to and be held… ..by a therapist Not Devorah during what should be an illuminating and thought provoking podcast 🫤
@@DolledByYenwhat makes you think that a different skin color would make a difference- this girl is just entitled, it doesn't matter what color her skin is
I’m still watching this and as a mother I’m having a hard time so far with how this girl views her mother. I don’t think this mother is a narcissist, I believe she has some issues, I just don’t see the narcissism. She might have been immature, selfish, irresponsible but maybe that could be part of her bipolar tendencies. Unfortunately her daughter really doesn’t seem to give her any slack and I think the mom has picked up on that so she tried to be her ‘friend’ and that still didn’t work. Sometimes just because you are ‘family’ doesn’t mean you will get along especially if there are other circumstances playing a part in it. I also believe her mom had been dealing with her own issues early on when her kids were young. She seemed to be struggling with having children, dealing with mental illness, depression and whatever else she may have been dealing with. It seemed like her mom tried to put on a ‘happy face’ when she had to but couldn’t do it behind closed doors and she was judged by her daughter & treated like she was the child at times and as a mother I can tell you doesn’t end well. It would be great if one day they could mend this relationship & move on but it will take a lot understanding and accepting people for who they are.
came here to say this. I don't think her mom is a narcissist either, she may have a different personality disorder or mental health condition but I think ultimately, it sounds like a combination of issues in her own childhood and life and then being a young mother. It sounds like her pregnancy was unplanned and while some people embrace it, I can imagine it's difficult for others. I was 32 when I had my first child and it was still such a life-changing event to give all of yourself to this new baby who needs all of your attention all of the time. I think it clicked for me when she was talking about her mom "having four boyfriends" and "acting like a kid" -- it's just that, her mother didn't have the chance to date and "act like a kid". I'm not condoning her behavior but I think Sarah could show her a little more grace.
I heard this on Spotify and came over to RUclips to say the same! Also, I value a diagnosis in situations like this. So this whole episode was a little silly to me.
I was excited to be able to relate to someone who also have a narcissistic parent but I’m confused because this isn’t one. She didn’t have any emotional abuse going on. She sure was ok with going on about how her fat her mom was and how it made her feel.. which felt extremely odd.
Same. My mom has been a narcissist my whole life. This chic didn’t have a single character trait to speak of that related to narcissism. If she was gonna make some Shit up she could have atleast researched the lies she gonna tell. Or project.
At a certain point, what she is telling is no longer her story as a daughter anymore, just an exposé on her mother, I know it comes from a place of being deeply hurt, but still, kinda painful to see :( Hope the best for both of them xx
My first red flag was when she said her siblings were questioning the way she was treating the mom. Could not continue after she called her moms mental issues and eating disorders ‘weird’.
Right cause if her mom was a narcissist and was doing all these horrible things, you’d think her siblings would experience that too and not wonder why she talks to her mom the way she does
This isn't a narcissistic parent, her mom is just mentality Ill and she spends 2 hours talking badly about her mom.. I just don't feel comfortable with this
You are describing my mom. But I don’t think she fits in the narcissistic category. I just think she was mentally and emotionally unavailable. I went to therapy and I forgave her for not been there. But she had her problems too. I don’t think she is a narcissist she was just unavailable for me. You should try therapy it’s going to help you heal your heart ❤
This episode is going to make so many parents think they have something wrong with them when they just have bad days. This mother doesn’t sound like a narcissist to me, and if she is, it’s not for the reasons listed in the first half hour. I do acknowledge this mother did shitty things but damn.
Literally thinking to myself “am I a piece of shit for not playing with my kid when I’m exhausted beyond words?” - coming from a single mom of one who’s doing it all solo. I already feel guilty about it but just tear her to shreds why don’t ya
Your mom went to therapy, gave you everything you wanted, worked on herself, YET is still not good enough for you? Please stop. Your way to grown for this.
Oooof. This isn't a narcissistic mother. Mentally ill indeed, but as someone who survived a severely narcissistic father and now ex partner, this is NOT it. Her Mom sounds like a bunch of rainbows and butterflies compared to the absolute torture of being a victim of narcissistic abuse. I know I will never be the same after suffering through actual hell.
this is EXACTLY what i was thinking. the stuff me and other survivors of narcissistic parents went through is horrific. it’s abusive and traumatizing. this was worlds away from the stuff i’ve been through personally and i can’t imagine others stories.
I feel like you literally told MY story, I had the EXACT same mom. Difference is, never in my lifetime would I say she is a narcissist. She had a rough childhood, made mistakes with us far worse than what you are describing. And you know what? My diagnosis is just that she got fucked up when she was a kid and her personality got impacted by it. That’s it. It gave her a filter and she sees life through it, people’s past experiences affect how they grow up and live their lives. No need to put a diagnosis on everything. You’re just mad she wasn’t like you wanted her to be. She was a good mom. At least she was the kind of mom that took you bra shopping. Are you going to die she embarrassed you? How about the girl next door who’s mom won’t even take her to the store let alone give a damn about it? « No one’s as big as my mom, this is embarrassing » excuse me? Take a look at yourself in the mirror and at people surrounding you.
I love this podcast, but this episode rubbed me the wrong way the whole way through. It sounds like Sarah grew up with an emotionally immature parent who struggled with some mental health issues. Which I’m sure had effected her parenting in many ways, but that doesn’t make her a narcissist mother. This made me feel bad for her mom, it’s so clear her daughter hates her. She can’t even repeat ANYTHING her mom has said in the past without mocking her. The title is misleading and I hope you do another episode with someone who actually grew up with a narcissistic parent. *also, Dev only spoke a few times during the whole two hours and she was interrupted and talked over almost every time 🤦🏽♀️
Out of all the things I could say about my parent. Fucking talking about her weight and noticing this. Is actually weird, this girl is like just mean, embarrassed and ashamed and clearly blames all her superficial issues on her mother. Things she can actually change and take control over.
Narcissistic personality disorder is a real thing that requires a diagnosis from a medical professional. Misusing this term makes victims of narcissistic abuse feel minimized. It isn’t just another term for absent of uninvolved.
It might be helful to view this as "growing up with a parent struggling with mental illness" rather than a narcissistic mother. Her feelings and experiences are 100% valid and im sure many others relate, but maybe just not the correct lable❤
This episode was not it, even tho i've really loved all the other episodes. the title does not match the story, even the description box describing narcissistic parents like "Narcissistic mothers exhibit distinct behavioral patterns that deeply affect their young daughters. They frequently use manipulation, emotional blackmail, and guilt-tripping to control their daughters' actions and emotions." doesnt sound like the mom in the episode. she definitely had mental health issues causing a lot of problems (but the intent never seemed malicious) and the daughter is allowed to feel what she feels but i think she wasn't able to tell the story in a good, objective way - maybe she should do therapy herself to heal before doing podcasts like this. the screening for there stories should probably be a bit better.
I'm not sure she was ready to tell this story - I'm not sure if anyone is ever ready. But this feels more like a gossip sesh regarding a mother that wasn't necessarily the best at being a mother. I think if we're going to go into the topic of a narcissistic mother, it would be great to get insight on a full story and maybe speak to the ways to avoid generational trauma. In 2019 I came to many realizations that what I experienced when I was a child was not okay, but recently I just came to the realization that I cannot just sit in the fact in knowing it wasn't okay. Trauma causes responses, and many of those responses and behaviors have to be worked out in therapy and/or self-reflection but it's an active effort. The way that the story is being told is without empathy for the mother and if we take that out, then it's just a story without a cause. I love giving her the platform to speak about her experience, but if there isn't a takeaway, then please provide her with resources.
Girl what. I don’t want to invalidate her experience but my mother didn’t do half the things her mom did and I still appreciate her as my mother that still showed up for me in her own way and at her best capacity.
After watching this video I think most of us discerned that this woman is the narcissistic one not her mother. A narcissist with a victim mentality at that... The way she used her mother's mental illnesses as an example of her being abusive just sent me lol Oh no she didn't played with barbies with you!!! how bad!!! what an awfull parent!!! like grow up lady. It seems like she had a very stable childhood with caring parents and she is just so full of herself to realize it. This video was so painfull to watch. I really feel bad for her mother. Please don't put anymore entitled people lke her on podcast. I followed because this channel is an amazing channel that gives a platform to real people with real challenges. Don't give people like her a space to use to satisfy themselves and their ego.
Am I the only one who feels bad for the mother in this story? Also I’m having a hard time listening to this recording due to the slobber noises picked up in the guests voice. Cringe.
This chick was reeeeaaaaaching!!! Trying to make something out of nothing. Coming from someone who actually had a physically and emotionally abusive father this was the most disrespectful interview to watch. Some of us out here are trying to heal from actual trauma and abuse.
There is so much wrong with this episode, but hearing her complain that her mother’s reaction to her “purse magnet” christmas gift vs. a “signed celebrity thing” from her sister, and her mother obviously being more excited for the autograph, Sarah makes it about herself. Like, “I guess you don’t care what I got you.” You got her a boring present. Why is she not allowed to have a more animated reaction for a more thoughtful, expensive, caring gift? Sarah is the narcissist. God bless her poor mother.
Maybe this young lady doesn’t understand her mother's disorder. Perhaps that's why she feels the way she feels or speaks the way she speaks about her mom. I don't know if her mother is a narcissist or not, it sounds like something completely different. But there are different types and levels of narcissism tho. It's not always text book.
Her mom definitely struggles with Bipolar but she’s not a narcissist person. This is just someone who probably saw a tiktok about narcissistic parents and thought that was it. Living with a narcissist is terrifying, gut wrenching and traumatizing. As this girl describes her story, I can tell she was never afraid for her life in her household.
The facts that she was able to sleep all day to avoid her mom says she not a narcissist. A narcissist mom would never let a daughter have peace like that.
This episode needs a retitle. The mother wasn’t a narc. Very clearly bipolar with emotional control issues. Narcs would never go to therapy. Narcs would never stand in line all day to go on a ride with their kid if there was a chance they were too big. No offense to the young woman talking, it’s clear she had a rather lonely childhood. But I hope she can learn more about bi polar and look back one day with a little more compassion and…maybe lose the condescending voice. I was raised by a narc and this isn’t one imo.
This isn’t Narcissistic… I actually reached out you guys to tell my story about my Narcissistic mother, and how I escaped…. It’s so disappointing to hear people say there parents are narcissistic when they actually aren’t.. “Narcissistic” is a catchphrase now. I’m always suspicious when people cry n say their parents are narcissistic. This is what they see. This isn’t narcissism.
After listening to this, I’d like to say I think we should extend our moms/other moms a little grace. Motherhood IS really difficult especially if you’re suffering with a mental illness/addiction issues. It sounds like this mom was really just trying to do her best with what she had. Love your videos, Dev💕💕
This was probably the hardest episode to listen to, I couldn't make it past the 30 min mark. I admire Devorah for always holding space for her guests and asking the key questions to inform and allow the conversation to just be. But god do I feel bad for Sarah's mother. The financial abuse is one thing, I can agree that behavior is wrong. But to feel actual shame over the fact that she was and now you are overweight because you had to eat fast food often while simultaneously acknowledging that you got whatever you want baffles me. To refer to your mothers episodes as "crazy" is disturbing. To acknowledge that life was harder for your parents but upset that they didn't have the capacity to be fully present due to their financial situation and mental health does not make sense. To blame your parents for your faults removes the responsibility you MUST have to actually change for the better.
Her pain is real, valid - having a parent with mental illness can totally create hurt and pain through their emotional absence. But a narcissist wouldn't go to therapy. It sounds like her mother had an unhealed childhood that then impacted her own ability to be a parent.
I feel like you need to find someone who actually has a narcissistic mother because this ain’t it. This is someone who grew up with a mother suffering from mental illness & an addictive personality.
i think it was a attention grabber thing
I completely agree, this made me feel sad as a mum who also has ‘down days’
Right, I’m just a few minutes in and hearing “my childhood was good”, “we got whatever we wanted”, “we could do whatever we wanted”…. I was fortunate to have wonderful parents, but I have friends who WERE raised by a narcissistic mother and there is lasting enormous trauma and fear of doing something the wrong way instilled in them from childhood….
agreed
Yes, agree
as a mental health professional, this is not enough information to classify this as narcissism. her mother was certainly mentally ill and this girl felt the repercussions of that. my parents are both mentally ill so i know that it isnt easy to be the child in that situation and it comes with a great deal of trauma, but this is not the same as narcissism. she has every right to be hurt by her trauma and she is clearly still very angry, but i don’t think narcissism is the right word for that.
thanks, I feel like this is a good representation of how I feel about this episode too
Yeah, psychologist here and I don't really see the narcissism either. I see a damaged/distanced relationship between mother and daughter, but no real indication of narcissistic abuse.
the mother would put her children on the spot, in public, make them embarrassed, like what else is it then, mania doesnt make you want to embarrass your children
@@CAMZART actually, mania can cause impulsiveness and heightened emotions. So, as I’m sure you can imagine, that can cause people to do some things that make no sense, and can be embarrassing for others.
@@quin7495with the whole bra announcement thing… mania didn’t make her do that
her mother definitely wasn’t a good parent but she was NOT a narcissist. if anything i feel like i heard so many more narcissistic qualities from the guest speaker rather than what she listed about her mom.
Same she does sound more like the narcissist.
💯💯💯 no parent is perfect but her mother was no monster .
Yeah she hasn’t dealt with a real narcissist. They are complete monsters and destroy you.
thank you for saying this, I had thought to myself “she sounds like the narcissist” while I was listening
The mother is married to her father, up and leaves to go visit a new boyfriend without telling anyone, on the phone all day on Xmas and mom is not narcissist?? What would you call her? Selfish, self centered ? Not depressed at all, so it’s consistent w/ narcissists
the repetitive mocking tone of voice, putting her mother down for her weight and emphasizing how much that affected HER, and the fact that absolutely NO ABUSE was mentioned leads me to believe this girl is the true narcissist and projecting. she didn't even care about her parents marriage because she was only worried about herself! this entire podcast consisted of minor inconveniences, what a joke. i was raised by a grandiose narcissist so it's hard for me not to feel disgusted.
💯
I agree 100%. She seems like a privileged little princess who got whatever she wanted and had some minor inconveniences with her mom. It appears she has no clue what actually living with a narcissist is like.
as someone with a narcissistic mother, this interview was shocking for sure
Opening credit in the daughters names and forcing the ex husband to pay for her new boyfriends children’s phones and stealing from her own children wasn’t abuse?
@@danyizzl829 no, that was irresponsible and selfish. abuse is psychological torment that stays with you for years or forever. not once did this girl mention abusive behavior from her mother.
Dude I hate to sound negative… but your mum doesn’t sound like a narcissist, she sounds like she’s depressed and was doing what she could to self medicate and handle that. You have to remember that your parent who has had a whole life before you, is dealing with things you have no idea about.
This girl sounds entitled, delusional, and lacks the sense of compassion for her family member. Her sister sounds way more understanding and caring. Man parents aren’t perfect people, she needs to change her perception that parents are god tier human beings who don’t make mistakes. They’re still children navigating the world for the first time. Compassion and understanding goes a long way
@@eloramckenzie8896 but people shouldn't throw around the word narcissist so easily, a true narcissist goes out of their way to make a person suffer and is very calculating, like this person said the mother does not sound like a narcissist.
Her mom sounds like someone with Bipolar Disorder when it comes to mania and depression, but her mom tried to give her things, let her wear most of the things she wanted except combat boots, and this person just pushed her mom away. Refused to speak to her, tried to avoid her, body shamed her, does a mocking tone of voice to imitate her, talked about her eating disorder in a mocking way, and just really seems to hate her, but her mom loves her. Why, I don't know. Parental instinct, I guess.
@@eloramckenzie8896OK re: finances
My mum Had a compulsive Shopping Habit, still has it Sometimes. Its a Strain, especially when you are the one used to justify the Shopping Habit (she would buy stuff and then Claim it's for me, Independent of If i need or liked it. If it was cute to her, she bought it.)
However, that is Not narcissism. Its a whole issue to itself. And No, it doesnt have to be Manipulation, it can also He a diversion tactic to keep attention away from herself. Manipulation would be doing IeT to achieve a certain behavior in her daughter, opening a bank Account in her Name sounds more Like an attempt to enable her own behavior. Theres a difference
Thank you! Yoi made me feel so much better as a mother♡
@@annabeinglazy5580Sounds like bipolar.
“You’re not supposed to have any boyfriends because you’re my mom”? Wtf. Your mom is bipolar, not narcissist. Unless you’re just a terrible story teller, she’s def not a narcissist. Nothing you said shows that.
Yeah I know right? She can have boyfriends, why does being a mom prevent that?
@@maisybee2091cuz the daughter is the narcissist here 😂
From shaming her mother for being obese, to then saying her mother's eating disorder was "weird"????. She just sounds like an angsty teenager. Her mother had a mental illness and did what she could when she could by the sounds of it. this whole episode left a horrible taste in my mouth.
Exsctly and at the end after bashing her mentally Ill mom and calling her a narcissist, she says how she’s only done this to help her?? That is such a narcissistic thing to say.
She acknowledged multiple times that her mother had a mental illness but that doesn’t exempt her of any of her behaviors
The story about her mom not being able to fit in the ride at the amusement park was so heartbreaking and the fact that she made it about herself was soo….
Honestly very selfish. Like no regard for how embarrassing it might’ve been for her mom.
And cringe, also not loving towards her mom at all.
Thank you, I was wondering if I was supposed to feel bad for her.
the pot calling the kettle black
You also have to look at it from her point of view, she was a kid. Kids get embarrassed from their parents all the time. She explained how her mom never showed her as much love as she did with her sister. It’s not her fault she couldn’t express love and compassion for her mom. The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree
I have an extremely narcissistic parent. I have a social work degree and work at an emergency youth shelter. Ive worked with so many narcissistic parents and i kept thinking to myself while watching that this does not seem like a narcissistic parent. Of course, she has every right to feel the way she does. Its no doubt her mom wasnt a perfect parent (who is?), but it seems pretty clear mom was struggling with a lot. Im glad to see I'm not the only one who thinks the same.
Thank you, agreed
And thank you for the good work you do for vulnerable folks in your community !!!
Yeah, there's really no narcissistic behaviors here. "She didn't let me wear combat boots! She had depressive episodes!" ma'am that's not what narcissism is, that's 1. normal and 2. part of having bipolar depression.
@@morganqorishchi8181 you both are dumb and just because her mom isnt on the extreme side doesnt mean her mom isnt a narcissist
@morganqorishchi8181 i dont know what her diagnosis is but she did horrible stuff like abusing her private information to open credit cards ,thats horrible in my eyes
@@smsmtunis definitely horrible, but more a reflex of a manic episode than a narcissist move in that context. She sair herself her mother was diagnosed with bipolar disorder
It’s so sad to hear that this woman (child) doesn’t view her mum as a person but solely a mother who’s purpose is suppose to be to serve her.
I relate to her feelings as I felt this way towards my own mother for a long time in my life. But there comes a time, age etc you realise that people are complex and there are reasons behind the way they act. You treat everyone with the benefit of the doubt as you’d hope they treat you. This woman needs to forgive her mother and she may miraculously see her in a different light. I think if she had done this earlier, instead of isolating and berating her mother, treating her gently a lot of things would of been different. There is peace in forgiveness.
The fact that she also called her mom, “lady,” was sad
Shes literally describing herself getting spoiled, mocks her mother's every move, and is shocked the relationship didn't turn out well? Yes there is pain in having absent parents but like her mother couldn't win, she's not willing to have empathy or nuance, and is airing all this out I what reads like a hit piece more than anything. Like are you sure it's your mom with the narcissistic tendencies??? Really?????
Her making fun of her mom's eating disorder, mocking her for nearly taking her own life, describing how she refused to speak to her mom, describes how she did things to irritate her mother, talks about how her mom would take her to do things and be the fun mom, and we're supposed to hate her mom? Her mom has Bipolar Disorder and was trying her absolute best and her kid fought her every inch of the way.
I was listening like is she the one that's nuts, her mom sounds great. My mom knew my dad let his friend feel me up at 10 but really needed her "me time" so she did nothing at all with that information. I just feel like people are victim of their own narcissistic bull shit only. I literally feel like she needs some self reflection. She made me hate her, she has no clue what living with a real mental case is. Oh your mom took you to chucky cheese, then was tired, oh my gawwwwd, I wish I had her mom. I think also that all people have a public and private side. This girls such a snotty little brat. She's expecting perfection and people are not perfect, if youre not being abused, stfu. Super sad and pathetic.
I’m glad I’m NOT the only one who listened to this and got a huge sense of entitlement from this chick. She sounds privileged & selfish.
Her mother doesn’t sound like a narcissist at all. Maybe this girl is projecting …..
1000% she sounds like the narcissist, making a victim of herself in her moms mental health issues
50 minutes in she makes fun of her mom for having suicidal ideation and checking into a psych ward. That's beyond selfishness, that's genuinely sick. Mocking a family member who nearly killed themselves is vile.
@@morganqorishchi8181selfish? she was a child who was forced to be the parent because her mom had issues. of course she would hold some sort of resentment towards her even if it’s right or wrong. she was like 10 years old, no 10 year old should have to deal with that.
@@lailareinhart7310 right, but then again, no mother should be mocked or exploited to the internet about her suicide attempt, declining mental health, and being overweight. they are both in the wrong but at the very least the mother tried to get help. what did this girl do? bully her on the internet. this is airing out family business as opposed to drawing awareness to narcissistic parents.
@@allyflores4775 tried to get help? the girl literally said she wasn’t being truthful to her therapist for YEARS. it doesn’t seem like she wants the help. and the mom is probably already in her 50/60s she won’t even know about this video. the girls feelings are valid.
i'm so glad that the host pointed out that perhaps her mother wasn't doing what she was doing to be malicious. it sounds like her mother has an emotional dysregulation disorder, such as bipolar. reckless spending and depression doesn't make someone a narcissist. also, a narcissist would NEVER voluntarily check themselves into a mental institution! all i am getting from this girl is a sense of entitlement and the need to blame her mother for everything in life that didn't go her way, and that actually IS narcissistic.
Thank you I got the same vibe. She's blaming a lot on her mom and lacking a lot of compassion. The way she talks about her being 300 and being SO HUGE and how that was so hard on HER..... yikes
I COMPLETELY agree!! This girl sounds like a spoiled brat in my opinion. Her mom sounds like she is struggling and at least trying to be better.
I agree… her mom doesn’t sound malicious.. maybe a bit emotionally unavailable but not horrible
totally agree. also uncomfy about how she talks ab her mother’s mania with actual disgust and calls it “crazy” despite it being part of a diagnosed mental illness
especially when she goes onto say that she was personally embarrassed that her mother was morbidly obese and in the same vain acknowledge that she put in the effort to get into shape just for her to say that it became a problem is so disgusting to me because imagine putting the effort to make your self feel good only for your own child to just shame you online is so awful..
I’m only 17 mins into this video and I can say her mother doesn’t sound narcissistic. Just depressed and struggling.
she lost me when she said her parents worked and didnt have time to play barbies. like wow girl some of us actually have actual issues. i hated this . coming from someone with actual issues and didnt get shit, like girl you just wanted to seem interesting,
i have twins no parent is perfect what did you expect. you had a structured and normal life...
I know, right? Her mom got her everything she herself didn't have as a kid and new toys and she's over here going, "I was unloved! This home was unhealthy!" ma'am some of us have been through actual abuse.
I was thinking the same thing! Like when your mother is actually emotionally abusive then maybe we can circle back
seriously like yeah you have trauma from having emotionally unavailable parents but stop acting like you’ve had to go through some serious serious shit like??
I was just so confused like I really was waiting for the narcissist part to come but it seems like she was the narcissist. My ex was one as well so I know all about it . I was so disappointed. She needs to be GREATFUL and thanking her mom for what she has done instead of only thinking about the things she couldn’t do . Like give her a break I wanna see how she feels when she had kids but she seems like a person who can’t keep relationships too long so if she does have a kid she’ll probably be a single mom. I wanna see that interview
Also she DID have quality time she clearly said her mom would take them out to do stuff and even her friends and her friends thought she was cool probably bc SHE WAS! And they had worse actual issues at home !
No disrespect to the guest. It sounds like her Mom was neglectful and perhaps not a great mother, but nothing mentioned sounded like dealing with a Narcissistic parent. She sounds like someone dealing with a emotional dysregulation disorder.
I don’t want to invalidate the guests feelings… but it doesn’t seem like the mother was a narcissist, maybe just struggled with mental health
Mental health ?? Mom cheats while married to the father is not depression
Plot twist: the daughter is a narcissist
My thoughts exactly.
Yeah I kind of felt the same way
her mom's brainwashing goes beyond the people
👀
100% yes
Her mom is not a narcissist and it's inaccurate to title this episode this way. Her mom had Bipolar Disorder, eating disorder behaviors, and the fact that this woman never mentioned any abuse from her mother but *does* say things like "my mom got me a tie I wanted" and "my mom waited in a hot line with me all day to go on a ride" is very telling. "I wore things I know my mom hated!" cool so did I in middle school but that doesn't mean my mom is a narcissist or even abusive. Her mom was trying to get better - going to therapy, checking into a mental health ward, taking her places, getting her things, attempting not to be a totally absent parent despite her depressive episodes - and while it sucks that this person doesn't feel like she connected with her mom, her saying "I was on my own" is kind of ridiculous. You had two loving parents who didn't abuse you and who wanted to give you a good life. Your sister has a good relationship with her because she spoke to her. You didn't, so you don't. That's not your mom having narcissism, that's a natural consequence of your actions.
This, this, THIS.
I agree
💯
This!!!!
So just bc someone wasn’t beat to shit by their parents means they don’t have the right to feel they were not loved and emotionally abused? And How can you say that when the adult makes conscious choices and the child just cannot until a certain stage in their life? Her mother should’ve never had children, - Sarah didn’t come out the womb NOT talking to her mom, she felt she couldn’t go to her mom for anything - maybe the definition of narcissism doesn’t fit for the first half of the story but complete manic and selfish behavior on the behalf of the mother, absolutely. Addict would be more fitting for this title - for sure.
Her mom was someone who just should’ve never had children - and it shows esp why her and her husband/Sarah’s father, we’re together only bc of a pregnancy, so right to begin with - Sarah was born into a non-loving forced partnership.
This is a huge blame sesh. I was looking forward to hearing this story thinking it would actually be a parent with narcissistic tendencies but quiet the opposite I feel like this woman needs to reflect more on herself instead of blaming her mum for everything.
I totally agree. I’m sitting here listening thinking this girl sounds wild.
i strongly agree! i thought this the whole time…
Completely agree.
Yea my mom was 100% narc still is to this day. Thought I was able to related and couldn’t because I wasn’t seeing the narc in her mom. I think he mom just maybe mental health issue and she was being a kid and didn’t understand.
Ty for saying this. I almost wasted 2 hours of my time lmao
Her calling her mothers disordered eating “weird” is INSANE. Also the amount of time she repeats that her mother didn’t try while also listing numerous examples of things she’s done, but she says it in the tone of it’s not even good enough. Going through grandiose narcissistic abuse myself, weight is never something that has anything to do with the mental illness of narcissism.. I don’t even get it. She calls her huge and morbidly obese and then she gets “obsessive” and anorexic and then she’s weird for that too? Pick one
THIS one was so weird! Her mother didn’t sound narcissistic
Growing up i had a lot of friends with eating disorders and seeing how people talk about Eugenia cooney (not to say she’s never done anything wrong- but the general discourse surrounding her obligations with her disorder) have made me realize that not much has changed with this topic… people see the disordered person as inherently abusive, even if they didn’t try to push disordered habits onto the children / friends / etc
It’s so odd to me that she speaks of it as a burden and maybe an attention grab by her mother, like absolutely no empathy in her description of it . If someone when from obese to underweight I would think there was something very wrong but it takes a lot of work to even do that and must be so damaging to the body. My father has some very strong narcissistic traits but even and I’m no contact with him BUT there’s moments where I still feel bad for him, incredibly disappointed as well.
She mocks her mom's eating disorder, her depression, her suicidal ideation... this girl does not feel love or empathy and it's terrifying.
@@morganqorishchi8181makes me wonder if she is the true narc. Many of them love to throw that word on their “supply” to further the gaslighting and manipulation into making the supply see themselves as bad.
She insulted and name-called her mom way more than actually listing harmful acts that her mother did.
Surprisingly, I made it through this episode. The mocking voice, the entitlement, and zero empathy.. wow. Truly love listening to these episodes, but this wasn't it. I truly hope this woman heals her inner child.
I’m about halfway through and idk if I can finish it. She uses every opportunity to take a dig at her mom, even going so far as to discredit the guy she had an affair with solely bc he liked her mom
I’m over halfway through, learning about the money stuff her mom did. It’s really bad what the family had to go through, but it’s also very clear her mom is suffering with her mental health, doesn’t have it under control and isn’t receiving any support. I have empathy for both of them in this situation, yet I also have this feeling that it is too early for her to speak on this situation because of the way she’s talking about her mom. I agree that it seems like she really needs to heal her inner child.
Completely agree 💯💯💯
I have an identical mother to her and I will say, it took me 10yrs of therapy to get to a point of acceptance and empathy. She is still caught up in the anger stage. It takes time and inner work.
@@ashleysartattack5600 I’m so happy you were able to overcame the anger and deal with some parts of your traumas. I hope you’re proud of your work, because this is so hard to do!
This girl sounds so entitled. „Yeah, she bought me the top and the tie just because I wanted it. BUT SHE DIDN‘T GET ME THE BOOTS 😫“
Woman airs mom’s worst moments and calls her weird and crazy for 2 hours😍😍😍
😭😭😭
This is a much more accurate title. I'm so disappointed in this episode.
😂😂
I think the correct title to this episode is “I’m an entitled narcissist that doesn’t have any empathy for a mentally ill mother who did her best”
Very spoiled but i guess thats what happens when you buy your child everything they want. Your damned if you do and damned if you don't.
@@jullz1000 exactly
It's really telling to me that until her 20's, the only thing she can name her mom did "wrong" was not let her wear combat boots. Other than that, she got everything she wanted, and although she complains about not spending more time with her mom, she also says she did everything she could to avoid her. If you avoid someone, you don't get to complain they're not around you much.
@@morganqorishchi8181 honestly this episode was a huge Ick
💯
I think Devorah actually realized in this interview that the girl was being a little dramatic and also insensitive to her mom. It seems clear to me when she brought up that when you have a mental illness you can’t just fix yourself.
To keep this short, this person could’ve been describing my mother and my family dynamic when I was growing up, I’ve literally never related to someones life story more. And I don’t pretend to be a mental health professional by any means, but I don’t think their mother is a narcissist (an opinion obviously based solely on this video as I do not know them). I just feel like that word gets tossed around so much these days that anyone who behaves selfishly is a narcissist when that’s just not how it works.
❤
So true
Honestly… this one wasn’t it. The entire time she mocked and put her mother down, when she made points that did not align what so ever to narcissism, her mother was depressed and had an addiction due to it. She tried her best by going to therapy, giving the kids everything she could… not a fan of this specific one.
You must have not watched the whole video. Her mother lied to her therapist and wasn’t getting the help she needed. Just because a parent buys you things
doesn’t cover the neglect the daughter felt.
Only about a quarter into this podcast… but I really hope the mom doesn’t find this video. It seems like she’s already struggling with a number of things and it would really hurt to see your daughter go in front of the entirety of the internet and talk about how you were a horrible mother when really it seems like she was doing the best she could do. 😢
The way this girl is mocking her mom is cringey. The way she talks about her is riddled with hurt and resentment. It must have been a tough childhood living with this. I can relate with a lot of the emotionless relations. However, when I accepted my parents for who they were and got over blaming them for everything, we got a better relationship and I got to feel gratitude for everything that they did do. IMO, she needs a lot of healing.
I’m 10min in and my heart is breaking for her mother. Sounds like a woman who was struggling and still trying her best. I really hope this isn’t the take away my children have of me someday.
Right there with you…
My mom excused her behavior as trying her best. It depends.
Change the title, this is a mom struggling with mental illness (it sounds like bipolar disorder from this story). Changing the title will prevent harmful misinformation - people should not associate bipolar disorder with narcissism.
My mom has borderline personality disorder. Her mom sounds very similar to my mom. Narcissism is characterized by feeling emotionless towards others, her mom clearly loved her but her mental health stopped her from showing it in the ways she needed. I love this podcast but you should definitely screen applicants more bc this title and everything she is speaking about is misleading since it doesn't represent true narcissism. (Coming from someone with 4 degrees is behavioral psychology)
This also sounds so much like my borderline mom. But, if her mom really is a “narcissist” shes more than likely to exhibit those same traits. I kind of see that in this interview.
@@actualarby2404 i agree all points
do u know what covert narcissism is?
@@lolcat10111
shyness and introversion
self-consciousness
insecurity
defensiveness
sensitivity to what others think of them
None of which are mentioned in her story
@@angelinasannicolas shyness and introversion is the only one not mentioned??
Congrats to this guest for misdiagnosing her mother and also mocking her for being human and having issues!!!! She sounds like a total narcissist for having an ed and having to work to make ends meet 🎉
Her bringing up the weight issues her mom had with such distain was lame AF. Like, your mom had an ED, that's not narcissism. TF?
Agreed. I didn’t hear a single thjng that sounded like narcissistic behavior. And she brought up being obsessed w celebrity culture like wtf did that have to do w it ? Or …. Coming from someone actually raised by a narcissist mother, this chics childhood sounded amazing
Bro yesss and she hyper fixates on how her mother went BACK to college and even managed to ALMOST finish, on TOP of her mental health issues, obesity, and even the desire to check herself into a mental health institution
Calling her mom narcissistic for not being able to fit on a ride is such bs. She’s not the only one who waited in that line “all day”, her mom waited there too just to make her daughter happy. I can’t even take her seriously after that.
She didn’t say her mom was narcissistic for not fitting on a ride. Tf? You literally removed everything else that she said
you said what i was thinking. i'm about halfway through the video at this point and i haven't heard a single narcissistic quality? if anything, the ride story makes the daughter seem like a narcissist!
@@brookeb9824it’s important to keep in mind that children of mentally ill parents build up so much resentment, that we even become petty over small situations that others wouldn’t see as a problem. When I lived with my mom I built resentment over the way she ate because I have misophonia and she would always chew with her mouth open.
Yea her mom’s weight issues is a horrible mean thing to put out there. I was overweight and very depressed and didn’t know it. You don’t choose to be overweight.
She lost me at the mocking voice. From someone who has a very troubled relationship with her mother, I feel we're not getying the full story here. I think her mother needed help and even asked for help, but never received it. And now it's too late.
Yeah, I see some things that are similar with my mom but my mom would never consider therapy. It seemed my mom tried some but on the other hand empathy only gave her ammo sadly... The good is still valuable.
do you usually hear these peoples stories before they come on? if not, i think there needs to be a little more screening before hand because anyone can say their parents was a narcissist but be misinformed.
fr tho
agreed, i think this might've been a learning lesson for devorah, i love her and the podcast but this was a miss
I wonder that too, I thought her interviews were legit up until this point where I feel like anyone can just come on and say anything. My dad has more narcissistic traits than her mother did and even then I wouldn’t call him a narcissist.
Agreed. But I also feel like maybe the host wants to be in the moment with the story teller...either way, this person sounds like she probably glossed up her story in an effort to get sympathy.
💯 this was a total miss
I feel like I’m listening to a 16 year old rant about their mom. The immature gripes and judgment. It sucks she feels that way, but seems like she needs to do some self reflection and gratitude.
This
You know, when I was 16 I had these kinds of thoughts about my dad. Then I read his life story, which he had written out on a Word document on his computer, and I stopped having these kinds of feelings because even at 16, empathy and understanding is a thing. The second you pause and think about your parent as a person with reasons they have flaws, you stop having these immature gripes and realize they're just doing their best. Is my dad perfect? No. Is he absolutely fantastic compared to his parents? Beyond belief, yes. Can't we just give parents credit for what they're getting right? They're trying and that's more than a lot of parents do.
are you serious....the broad committed a felony offense by stealing multiple people's identities. just cause she wasn't getting beat up she wasn't abused wow
Her mother does not sound like a narcissist. She is demonising her mother for being bipolar, has zero compassion and doesn't seem grateful for anything. Unbelievably selfish, spoilt and entitled person. This episode made me sad and angry for all the wrong reasons.
her having bipolar doesn’t make any of the things she did excusable
@@jessica1234661 it also doesn’t make her a narcissist though :/
And she only showed emotion talking about her fucking dolls. Like come onnnnnnnnnn.
Her making fun of her mom for having suicidal ideation and going to a mental health ward makes me want to go, "Okay, fine. You can stop being this woman's daughter and I'll adopt her as my mom instead, just so she never has to have someone be that cruel to her ever again." Bipolar Disorder is a struggle but even if her mom was a narcissist - which she isn't - it's never okay to make fun of someone who's thinking about ending their own life, period, ever.
I was going to say I'm 40 minutes in and it seems like she's the asshole so far, not the mom
i’m kind of shocked by this to be honest… i was raised with narcissistic parents and the second she said they got everything they wanted and had no rules, i just. i agree with everyone saying it’s invalidating. i feel bad for her because it’s clear she’s hurt by her moms depression but holy cow.
if u haven't watched the video all the way through, don't. I was waiting for her to state an actual problem but it was just the brat talking abt how fat her mom is and complaining she didn't sit there and play w/ barbies with her. She needs to do her research on narcissism. Don't waste your time.
i literally can't take her seriously is this a joke
Although I understand her point of view on how her moms actions and behavior affected her, I really think that she sounds more narcissistic then her mother. Her mother sounds like she struggled mentally since a young age and really needed proper care and direction. This girl sounds like she was more embarrassed to have a mom like this then actually understanding that there might have been more going on internally.
Her making fun of and mocking her mom for asking where they were going and wanting to go to dinner with them at 1:55:30 and then saying they wouldn’t tell her “just to f*ck with her” is so telling. Were you the victim in that moment? Did that help you and your mothers relationship? It’s giving mean girl, I’m sure she made her mothers life hell. This episode should be renamed “Im a Narcissist”
I totally agree, she definitely seems to be the problem!
Yep. This is so horrifying to listen to. 😢
Its giving entitled, I don’t like this ep
exactly what its giving...worst episode omfg
yeah couldn’t finish at all.
Listening to this as a mother, with a narcissistic mother, was really hard. It was invalidating as a daughter of one, and disheartening as a parent to think that children have such a hard time thinking of their parents as HUMAN. This woman seems to be very self-involved and expected her mom to be a perfect person/mother. Newsflash- it doesn’t exist. I hope you heal enough to have relationship with your mom one day.
She sounds like she’s complaining about an annoying friend
Not discussing trauma from a family member
She's awful. She literally said that her mom checking herself into a Psych ward because she wanted to kill herself was "weird."
I LOVE this podcast, love hearing peoples stories but my fav part is hearing Devorahs perspective of their situations too; and in this episode Devorah barely spoke. The one time she did & tried to tell this girl that maybe her mother isn’t this awful person, maybe it’s just symptoms of her mental illness; she completely shut it down. It seems like that made Devorah stop giving genuine answers/opinions after that because this girl didn’t want to hear anything other than what she wants to believe. It’s no one else’s right to tell this girl what she felt / experienced but it SOUNDS like her mom just struggled badly with bipolar disorder & depression. It doesn’t sound like she was an abusive or hateful person.
Exactly
Yes!
❤
I felt more like the girl is the narcissistic one...
It also sounded like her mom needed more affection and appreciation from her daughters! It honestly sounded like her mom struggled so much in her own childhood and just wanted to provide a softer upbringing for her own kids.
How are you going to read your mother's PRIVATE journal and get mad about what was in there??!!? Imagine if her mom had read HER journal. The complete lack of self awareness is disturbing
My dad wrote his life story on a Word document on his computer. I read it when I was 16 and it didn't make me mad at him, it made me really horrified because holy shit, my grandparents were abusive to him. No wonder he's got control issues and irrational anxieties, he went through some things that I would never have been able to survive. If you have empathy, stumbling across your parent's inner thoughts makes you want to hug them and tell them it'll be okay.
I hope if I ever have a daughter she doesn’t end up like this girl
“My mom went out to eat way too much, she never gave me the chance to be healthy”
Five minutes later, “I’d have to ask my sister to get her to get us to get Chinese food”
This episode was honestly hard to listen to. I’m sure the mom wasn’t perfect, but come on… please go talk to someone about this and heal yourself instead of bashing her for two hours on a public podcast and making fun of her for being overweight.
Then she said the mom made her fat. Mmmm...mom may have instilled bad eating habits for sure, but at a certain age, you have to take responsibility for yourself when it comes to the amount of food you eat.
Exactly she blames her for everything
Note to the daughter: I grew up with a mother who mocked me, mimicked the things I said in a whiny/snotty voice, (still does and she is now in her 70's) and criticized me constantly. I hated her for it. I noticed you doing all of that in reference to your mother in this interview, please think about how that kind of thing may also come out if and when you have kids...(they will inevitably stress and irk you at times) hopefully you won't do that to them.
This was one of the hardest episodes to watch. People self-diagnosing their parents with narcissistic personality disorder is so overdone.
I agree. These days, terms are so misused and thrown around as an excuse. This is a perfect t example of that.
Literally, ots doing a doservice to mental health advocacy. Sometimes people are selfish. Unless she was DIAGNOSED a narcissist, this is just a hit piece on her mom and if anything makes her look like a spoiled brat. Yes absentee parents can be painful but nothing her mother did was good enough for her so what to do you expect???
@@jkatttt1699her mom stole her sister's college fund. Stole their dolls, put her new boyfriend on her dad's tab, did so many weird narcissistic things lol. How can you guys not even acknowledge that although there is no diagnosis, that many of her actions were narcissistic... (As well as impulsive and selfish.)
but people (like me) who grew up with an actual narcissist as a parent appreciate these stories and this channel entirely.
it is overused and misused, but don't let that take away from people like this woman and others like us.
Yes!! People really abuse the term “narcissist” and some truly do not even know the definition and symptoms. People throw the term out there like it’s nothing.
As someone who dated a narcissist for many years,I had this feeling all throughout that the mom didn’t sound like a narcissist, rather someone who was deeply depressed and several other mental health struggles. The first thing that got my attention was the fact her mom went to therapy, and that she would have “down days” - this shows that her mom had some form of self awareness. She was aware of her struggles, and her behaviour was how she coped. Whereas a narcissist may not ever go to therapy due to lack of self awareness. A narcissists “depression” always has a feeling with it that you are the reason they are depressed, they never appear truly depressed.
Yeah
Am I the only one who thinks that the mom wasn’t the narcissist but the girl(child) is the narcissist??😅
Yup. Narcissists are formed from emotionally neglectful parents so her mom’s behavior due to her untreated bipolar disorder very well could have resulted in the daughter developing NPD
Yes
This episode made me feel horrible about my parenting solely on the fact that I struggle with my weight. I really hope my teenage daughter does not judge me, call me huge or hyperfixate on that :(
I'm 32. My mother has always struggled with her weight as long as I can remember. She is the greatest mother I could ever ask for, and I call her at least once a week. No amount of weight could make me love her less! I hope this gives you some encouragement. I think this women has deeper unresolved issues causing her to feel the way she does towards her mother.
My daughter is still little & im over weight & hearing this talk worries me about later being judged! I’m technically morbidly obese because I’m short but I can still fit rides (last time I checked anyways) I would be broken to hear my daughter talk about my depression or weight like this
my mom was bigger and I was always incredibly thin. I never judged her. I liked that there was more of her to hug :) .
@@neurologylove2135 thank you so much for that ❤️ makes me feel so much better!
@@huskylover8167 thank you ❤️ that’s really good to hear!
This woman's storytelling was so mean-spirited. Made it hard to keep listening.
all throughout this episode all i wanted to do was to scream at her: get over yourself like seriously ... i do too have a weird relationship with my mum mostly due to both our mental health issues but to put all the blame on her mum when she was probably just trying to do her best and trying to make it seem as her mum's struggles were a bother to her ... i still finished it to see if it got "better" but sadly no
I just know Dev regretted this one a bit… 😅 this isn’t narcissism at all… sounds like a regular strained mother/daughter relationship. Her mother was clearly dealing with her own demons and mental health struggles, but it’s far from narcissism.
Her mom meets the diagnostic criteria for Bipolar Disorder. It's not narcissism, it's a totally unrelated issue.
Get this girl into therapy. She is absolutely allowed to feel her own feelings but I feel like this is one of those things that can look completely different from every perspective. I feel like this is mostly her bashing her mother rather than telling her story? Like continuously mentioning how her mom liked her sister so much more. Like... this is not factual. This is an over exaggerated assumption. Also seems like mom has a mental disorder that needs tended to.
I was thinking this
This “ interview” makes more sense as a therapy session where the guest can complain nonstop, however unproductive and immaturely she wishes to and be held…
..by a therapist
Not Devorah during what should be an illuminating and thought provoking podcast
🫤
Please bring on more POC, I think it would be nice to see cultural differences when talking about similar issues.
i agree entirely!
I AGREE, cause this was NOT it
@@DolledByYenwhat makes you think that a different skin color would make a difference- this girl is just entitled, it doesn't matter what color her skin is
Facts. I just checked the videos and there's only 2 POC on here smdh lollll
@@macarenarrieta just that statement alone shows how out of touch you are with what's being said
I’m still watching this and as a mother I’m having a hard time so far with how this girl views her mother. I don’t think this mother is a narcissist, I believe she has some issues, I just don’t see the narcissism. She might have been immature, selfish, irresponsible but maybe that could be part of her bipolar tendencies. Unfortunately her daughter really doesn’t seem to give her any slack and I think the mom has picked up on that so she tried to be her ‘friend’ and that still didn’t work. Sometimes just because you are ‘family’ doesn’t mean you will get along especially if there are other circumstances playing a part in it. I also believe her mom had been dealing with her own issues early on when her kids were young. She seemed to be struggling with having children, dealing with mental illness, depression and whatever else she may have been dealing with. It seemed like her mom tried to put on a ‘happy face’ when she had to but couldn’t do it behind closed doors and she was judged by her daughter & treated like she was the child at times and as a mother I can tell you doesn’t end well. It would be great if one day they could mend this relationship & move on but it will take a lot understanding and accepting people for who they are.
came here to say this. I don't think her mom is a narcissist either, she may have a different personality disorder or mental health condition but I think ultimately, it sounds like a combination of issues in her own childhood and life and then being a young mother. It sounds like her pregnancy was unplanned and while some people embrace it, I can imagine it's difficult for others. I was 32 when I had my first child and it was still such a life-changing event to give all of yourself to this new baby who needs all of your attention all of the time. I think it clicked for me when she was talking about her mom "having four boyfriends" and "acting like a kid" -- it's just that, her mother didn't have the chance to date and "act like a kid". I'm not condoning her behavior but I think Sarah could show her a little more grace.
I completely agree with you.
I definitely felt the same kinda just sound like she just didn’t like her mom
I heard this on Spotify and came over to RUclips to say the same! Also, I value a diagnosis in situations like this. So this whole episode was a little silly to me.
I hope your guest gets therapy for herself.
I was excited to be able to relate to someone who also have a narcissistic parent but I’m confused because this isn’t one. She didn’t have any emotional abuse going on. She sure was ok with going on about how her fat her mom was and how it made her feel.. which felt extremely odd.
Same. My mom has been a narcissist my whole life. This chic didn’t have a single character trait to speak of that related to narcissism. If she was gonna make some Shit up she could have atleast researched the lies she gonna tell. Or project.
At a certain point, what she is telling is no longer her story as a daughter anymore, just an exposé on her mother, I know it comes from a place of being deeply hurt, but still, kinda painful to see :(
Hope the best for both of them xx
This does not seem like a narcissistic parent, this seems like a mom with bipolar disorder and eating disorders.
My first red flag was when she said her siblings were questioning the way she was treating the mom. Could not continue after she called her moms mental issues and eating disorders ‘weird’.
Right cause if her mom was a narcissist and was doing all these horrible things, you’d think her siblings would experience that too and not wonder why she talks to her mom the way she does
@@randomperson3934actually that’s false. A narcissistic abuser can abuse one kid and not the others. Not saying that’s this girl tho
This isn't a narcissistic parent, her mom is just mentality Ill and she spends 2 hours talking badly about her mom.. I just don't feel comfortable with this
You are describing my mom. But I don’t think she fits in the narcissistic category. I just think she was mentally and emotionally unavailable. I went to therapy and I forgave her for not been there. But she had her problems too. I don’t think she is a narcissist she was just unavailable for me. You should try therapy it’s going to help you heal your heart ❤
This episode is going to make so many parents think they have something wrong with them when they just have bad days. This mother doesn’t sound like a narcissist to me, and if she is, it’s not for the reasons listed in the first half hour. I do acknowledge this mother did shitty things but damn.
Definitely made me question myself for a second
I'm scared to have children after listening to this...
Yes! It made me question how i parent my daughter.
I know!!!!
Literally thinking to myself “am I a piece of shit for not playing with my kid when I’m exhausted beyond words?” - coming from a single mom of one who’s doing it all solo. I already feel guilty about it but just tear her to shreds why don’t ya
Growing up with a narcissist parent, i wish i had it this easy like her. Im sure her mother just had some problems but she is not Narcissistic
Oh my god her biggest problem is mommy sold the American girl dolls, be fr right now
My mom was not supportive when I wanted to be “Avril Lavigne”. What?!?
Lmao
Your mom went to therapy, gave you everything you wanted, worked on herself, YET is still not good enough for you? Please stop. Your way to grown for this.
This guest is weak as hell .
That’s a good point cause my mom is a narcissist and one of the BIGGEST issues is she doesn’t believe in mental health or therapy whatsoever .
Oooof. This isn't a narcissistic mother. Mentally ill indeed, but as someone who survived a severely narcissistic father and now ex partner, this is NOT it. Her Mom sounds like a bunch of rainbows and butterflies compared to the absolute torture of being a victim of narcissistic abuse. I know I will never be the same after suffering through actual hell.
this is EXACTLY what i was thinking. the stuff me and other survivors of narcissistic parents went through is horrific. it’s abusive and traumatizing. this was worlds away from the stuff i’ve been through personally and i can’t imagine others stories.
Titling this episode as if this mom was a narcissist is insulting to people who survived actual narcissistic parents.
10 minutes in and i am so confused
U lost me at “I was spoiled”
I feel like you literally told MY story, I had the EXACT same mom. Difference is, never in my lifetime would I say she is a narcissist. She had a rough childhood, made mistakes with us far worse than what you are describing. And you know what? My diagnosis is just that she got fucked up when she was a kid and her personality got impacted by it. That’s it. It gave her a filter and she sees life through it, people’s past experiences affect how they grow up and live their lives. No need to put a diagnosis on everything. You’re just mad she wasn’t like you wanted her to be. She was a good mom. At least she was the kind of mom that took you bra shopping. Are you going to die she embarrassed you? How about the girl next door who’s mom won’t even take her to the store let alone give a damn about it?
« No one’s as big as my mom, this is embarrassing » excuse me? Take a look at yourself in the mirror and at people surrounding you.
I love this podcast, but this episode rubbed me the wrong way the whole way through. It sounds like Sarah grew up with an emotionally immature parent who struggled with some mental health issues. Which I’m sure had effected her parenting in many ways, but that doesn’t make her a narcissist mother. This made me feel bad for her mom, it’s so clear her daughter hates her. She can’t even repeat ANYTHING her mom has said in the past without mocking her. The title is misleading and I hope you do another episode with someone who actually grew up with a narcissistic parent.
*also, Dev only spoke a few times during the whole two hours and she was interrupted and talked over almost every time 🤦🏽♀️
Out of all the things I could say about my parent. Fucking talking about her weight and noticing this. Is actually weird, this girl is like just mean, embarrassed and ashamed and clearly blames all her superficial issues on her mother. Things she can actually change and take control over.
yup and the amount of times she’s said “ she’s HUGE “ as if it’s a horrible thing, or even just calling her moms quirks and behaviors weird.
Narcissistic personality disorder is a real thing that requires a diagnosis from a medical professional. Misusing this term makes victims of narcissistic abuse feel minimized. It isn’t just another term for absent of uninvolved.
It might be helful to view this as "growing up with a parent struggling with mental illness" rather than a narcissistic mother. Her feelings and experiences are 100% valid and im sure many others relate, but maybe just not the correct lable❤
The mother daughter relationship is one of the most complex things on earth.
This episode was not it, even tho i've really loved all the other episodes. the title does not match the story, even the description box describing narcissistic parents like "Narcissistic mothers exhibit distinct behavioral patterns that deeply affect their young daughters. They frequently use manipulation, emotional blackmail, and guilt-tripping to control their daughters' actions and emotions." doesnt sound like the mom in the episode. she definitely had mental health issues causing a lot of problems (but the intent never seemed malicious) and the daughter is allowed to feel what she feels but i think she wasn't able to tell the story in a good, objective way - maybe she should do therapy herself to heal before doing podcasts like this. the screening for there stories should probably be a bit better.
she just sounds like she’s mad at mommy not suffered for years under a narcissist
I'm not sure she was ready to tell this story - I'm not sure if anyone is ever ready. But this feels more like a gossip sesh regarding a mother that wasn't necessarily the best at being a mother. I think if we're going to go into the topic of a narcissistic mother, it would be great to get insight on a full story and maybe speak to the ways to avoid generational trauma.
In 2019 I came to many realizations that what I experienced when I was a child was not okay, but recently I just came to the realization that I cannot just sit in the fact in knowing it wasn't okay. Trauma causes responses, and many of those responses and behaviors have to be worked out in therapy and/or self-reflection but it's an active effort. The way that the story is being told is without empathy for the mother and if we take that out, then it's just a story without a cause. I love giving her the platform to speak about her experience, but if there isn't a takeaway, then please provide her with resources.
Very well said!
Girl what. I don’t want to invalidate her experience but my mother didn’t do half the things her mom did and I still appreciate her as my mother that still showed up for me in her own way and at her best capacity.
After watching this video I think most of us discerned that this woman is the narcissistic one not her mother. A narcissist with a victim mentality at that... The way she used her mother's mental illnesses as an example of her being abusive just sent me lol Oh no she didn't played with barbies with you!!! how bad!!! what an awfull parent!!! like grow up lady. It seems like she had a very stable childhood with caring parents and she is just so full of herself to realize it. This video was so painfull to watch. I really feel bad for her mother. Please don't put anymore entitled people lke her on podcast. I followed because this channel is an amazing channel that gives a platform to real people with real challenges. Don't give people like her a space to use to satisfy themselves and their ego.
Right I don't know anyone who's parents just sat and played with them 😅
Am I the only one who feels bad for the mother in this story?
Also I’m having a hard time listening to this recording due to the slobber noises picked up in the guests voice. Cringe.
This chick was reeeeaaaaaching!!! Trying to make something out of nothing. Coming from someone who actually had a physically and emotionally abusive father this was the most disrespectful interview to watch. Some of us out here are trying to heal from actual trauma and abuse.
And the fat shaming her mom was so sad 😢
Yes. Fat shaming her mom when she should take a look in the mirror first…
There is so much wrong with this episode, but hearing her complain that her mother’s reaction to her “purse magnet” christmas gift vs. a “signed celebrity thing” from her sister, and her mother obviously being more excited for the autograph, Sarah makes it about herself. Like, “I guess you don’t care what I got you.” You got her a boring present. Why is she not allowed to have a more animated reaction for a more thoughtful, expensive, caring gift? Sarah is the narcissist. God bless her poor mother.
“Dad’s allowed to date someone else if he wants to,” but “you can’t have boyfriends; you’re my mom.” The delusion is UNREAL here.
Maybe this young lady doesn’t understand her mother's disorder. Perhaps that's why she feels the way she feels or speaks the way she speaks about her mom. I don't know if her mother is a narcissist or not, it sounds like something completely different. But there are different types and levels of narcissism tho. It's not always text book.
not me sitting through this video waiting for the part where her mother exhibits narcissistic behaviours and it just never came...
The only one I saw when when she uses things against the daughter. But it wasn’t elaborated
Her mom definitely struggles with Bipolar but she’s not a narcissist person.
This is just someone who probably saw a tiktok about narcissistic parents and thought that was it. Living with a narcissist is terrifying, gut wrenching and traumatizing. As this girl describes her story, I can tell she was never afraid for her life in her household.
The facts that she was able to sleep all day to avoid her mom says she not a narcissist. A narcissist mom would never let a daughter have peace like that.
This episode needs a retitle. The mother wasn’t a narc. Very clearly bipolar with emotional control issues. Narcs would never go to therapy. Narcs would never stand in line all day to go on a ride with their kid if there was a chance they were too big.
No offense to the young woman talking, it’s clear she had a rather lonely childhood. But I hope she can learn more about bi polar and look back one day with a little more compassion and…maybe lose the condescending voice.
I was raised by a narc and this isn’t one imo.
This isn’t Narcissistic… I actually reached out you guys to tell my story about my Narcissistic mother, and how I escaped…. It’s so disappointing to hear people say there parents are narcissistic when they actually aren’t.. “Narcissistic” is a catchphrase now. I’m always suspicious when people cry n say their parents are narcissistic. This is what they see. This isn’t narcissism.
After listening to this, I’d like to say I think we should extend our moms/other moms a little grace. Motherhood IS really difficult especially if you’re suffering with a mental illness/addiction issues. It sounds like this mom was really just trying to do her best with what she had. Love your videos, Dev💕💕
Listening to this made me realize how much worse my childhood was lol
This was probably the hardest episode to listen to, I couldn't make it past the 30 min mark.
I admire Devorah for always holding space for her guests and asking the key questions to inform and allow the conversation to just be. But god do I feel bad for Sarah's mother. The financial abuse is one thing, I can agree that behavior is wrong. But to feel actual shame over the fact that she was and now you are overweight because you had to eat fast food often while simultaneously acknowledging that you got whatever you want baffles me. To refer to your mothers episodes as "crazy" is disturbing. To acknowledge that life was harder for your parents but upset that they didn't have the capacity to be fully present due to their financial situation and mental health does not make sense. To blame your parents for your faults removes the responsibility you MUST have to actually change for the better.
Listening to this is EXHAUSTING 😱
Her pain is real, valid - having a parent with mental illness can totally create hurt and pain through their emotional absence. But a narcissist wouldn't go to therapy.
It sounds like her mother had an unhealed childhood that then impacted her own ability to be a parent.
Right. A lot of bonding issues there! Possibly neglect… but maybe not NPD