Excommunicated as a Bishop and Finding His Way Back: Dave Higham's Story - Latter-Day Lights
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- Опубликовано: 25 июл 2024
- In this episode, Dave Higham shares how during his 3rd time serving as a bishop in the LDS church, he was excommunicated for 5 years.
This led to the painful loss of his marriage and many friends, strained family relationships, and guilt for the consequences of his actions and the effect they had on others.
But even through the darkness and pain, Dave has hope for the future and is looking forward to be being rebaptized. His difficult battle has helped him to have empathy for other's who have gone through this difficult process, and hopes that by going through this experience that he can in some way help to encourage others to find their way back.
** Please SHARE Dave's story and help us spread hope and light to others. **
To LISTEN to this episode, visit: www.buzzsprout.com/1894616/14...
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To VISIT Dave's website, visit: onesheep.blog/
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I was disfellowshipped in 1983 due to choices I made and also the way I was treated by former Bishops and Ward members. I lived a very secular life and tried to tell myself I was happy. I let hurt feelings lead me further down the rabbit hole. I was drinking heavily and wasn’t living a chaste life. I was blessed to move in late 1989 to a small of town in Oregon newly married with a nine month old and found myself being loved back into activity of this glorious gospel of Jesus Christ. I was invited to serve in Primary even when I told the Bishop and Primary President I hadn’t been to Church in over 10 years and that I had been disfellowshipped and all they said was, “It’s okay. We need you. Please join our Ward Family.” It took another two years before my Bishop told me he felt it was time to return to the Temple, I was so scared but so happy that I was found worthy of receiving the Sacrament and attending the Temple again. We all have stories and I know it’s important to know others story so we can lift one another and know what they need in their lives. I’ve stayed strong and love the Gospel of Jesus Christ.
Thank you for sharing. I appreciate it.
Love this. After having left the church I know the difference having the Spirit back in my life. There’s nothing that can replace it.
Been there! ❤
I’d sa
You are such an inspiration to me. Thank you for being an example to us all.
As someone who was excommunicated i never missed a day away from church , I was shown love from every member of my ward!
I’m so glad!
I love that! ❤
You are very loved, brother!
I lost my membership because of adultery related to a sex addiction struggle. I accepted the process and chose to turn to the Lord and His will. I kept going to church. I went to therapy, joined a 12-step program. I was eventually re-baptized and am hoping to have restoration of priesthood blessings in the near future. Yes...I am guilty of adultery and lying to hide my sin. I betrayed my wife and my God. My wife stayed. We are still rebuilding our marriage. I continue to trust God and Jesus Christ's power to heal, to love, and to truly convert us. I choose to care most about how God sees me than the shame of being judged by others.I do not blame the church or it's members. I accept responsibility for my own choices.
Thanks for having the courage to share that. I hope that God continues to bless you and your family. - Scott
“People sin because they’re hurting.” Thank you for helping me to have more compassion for myself.
Every time I discover a new positive Mormon RUclips channel, I consider it to be a blessing.
How admirable for the brother to stand strong and keeping his focus on returning. It must be painful to have to listen to some of the comments, but how wonderful to create a support group. I think it was totally wrong to take away the opportunity to speak at his mom’s funeral. 😢
This is latter day lights top, number 1 show!! This story is packed with so much hope and opportunity for everyone who is human. Thats all of us. Thank you Brother Higham for reaching out to all of us about the atonement. This is pure instruction. Thankyou!
My first husband was a convicted felon who had been excommunicated. He came back to full fellowship (but he died a few years later.)
God bless you both!
I can't even explain the emotions I had listening to this. I could only take it in small doses. As a bishop I was disfellowshipped. That was 8 years ago. I petitioned for readmittance 18 months ago and the 1st Presidency said no, more time is needed. Bro. Higham is a better man than I. The swings of emotions over the past 8 years are indescribable. And I do have resentment that church leaders seemingly do not care. The Savior gave a command that we go into the world and find the one. Who are more deserving to be recipients of this command than those who have been disfellowshipped or Ex'd? Salt Lake is silent. No talk in general conference has been given toward this group in nearly 40 years. No training is given to bishops or stake presidents. In 8 years I can count on one hand the times that church leaders have reached out to me. It hurts. And I sit here, still with a testimony, crying because of the hurt. We can do better. God has commanded us to do better.
Hang in there brother ♥️ The Lord has a plan for you.
You’re on the covenant path. I’m not minimizing how painful this must be for you. It’s not fair. Christ can restore all things to you. He is and He will! He is not only merciful, but because He is “just”, He won’t let the failings of humans to keep you from your eternal reward.
In the meantime, I’m so sorry. I’ve been through my share of waiting way longer than I thought was right and fair. Just keep your eyes on Christ during this extra painful time ❤
@@sarahaas183 thank you
You are loved. God always makes things better for His children.
Do better yourself, help others, someone else out there has it worse than yourself. I have a friend who waited 13 years, his paperwork was rejected 3 times. I was at his rebaptism with 3 other current or former Bishops. A mistake was made with paperwork, His Stake President said he was sorry. This man had direct reason to be MAD. He was not. The Baptism should NOT have happened. This man could have held a meanness. He did NOT, he waited many more years with a smile. This year he should be back in the Temple. If NO talk in General Conference has been on this topic in 40 years. I Guess that the Prophets and Apostles know a bit more than us, and Conference is NOT the time or the place for such a talk. Our building had weird seating, and with few or only my single sons, deacons, teachers or Priests different people passed each week. I passed with my boys for over 10 years in that ward. Based on the seat where this brother sat, about 75% of the time he would end up rejecting the Sacrament tray 3 to 4 times a week. He had reasons to be MAD and with many reasons to choose from, yet he was not. Many nights he was at our house until late hours of the night. IF you are still holding a grudge and pointing fingers you are clearly not yet ready on the humble level list.
Welcome back Jesus loves us all and we all make mistakes and the church is true
@user-ux3vb5zg1p just not infallible
You are so awesome. Alma the younger and the sons of Mosiah show me that sin is a temporary condition and can even bless somehow. I suspect a much higher percentage of those excommunicated come back because I know the Lord wants all of us back. Personally I know more who have come back than not and I believe it should be that way.
How brave to share your story. When I was a teenager our bishop, who worked for the stake president, embezzled from his business. He lost his family and everything he had. We all felt for him and I hope he found his way back. He was a good man that made a mistake and paid a big price.
Dave I've been greatly blessed by you today. Thank you so much for sharing your experience with the world. I admire you greatly. I have never been disfellowshipped or excommunicated but when I was 19 years old during my missionary interview I remember telling my stake president of a sin I hadn't fully confessed that had happened a few months prior. My stake president said we needed to have me wait a year before I can go on my mission. I remember being floored because I had had MANY friends who had commited sins that were in my opinion, far far worse than the struggle that I faced. They were all out on missions and did not have to wait for their mission calls. One of my friends who was completely out of the church and living in complete sin up until 6 months before his mission was able to immediately go on his mission. When I was told that I would have to wait a year for something that was again, far minor compared to what I deemed my peers sins to be, my initial reaction was disbelief, that this was unfair and why was I getting a far harsher punishment than anyone else around me... but by the grace of Jesus quickly became acceptance. I learned that the gospel isn't about and has never been about what is fair or not. It's not fair that any one of us can be forgiven of our sins... Jesus literally died and suffered the torturous pain of all mankind. I was quickly tought the lesson and humility that my pride at that time was getting in the way of me truly becoming a Saint.
I waited the year. More importantly, I worked on myself greatly that year. I went on that mission as a 20 year old and I was vastly more prepared spiritually for that experience because of the repentance process than I would have been going out without any disciplinary action.
I know this is a tiny fraction of what it is like for excommunication but I can't help but be so grateful for my experience that taught me that just because something felt harsh and unfair, especially when compared to the experiences of others, it was only an opportunity for me to grow and develop a deeper love and relationship with Jesus . For this I am still grateful all these years later. ( I'm now in my 30s, 7 years married in the temple and two kids)
Thanks again for sharing your testimony and being so open and vulnerable Dave. I truly thank you and may God keep blessing you every day as you serve others and yourself.
Thank you for sharing your personal experience with disciplinary action as a disciple of Jesus Christ. Have a blessed day!
This is proof that the Lord is in charge and knows each of us personally. Thank you for sharing!
the right expression for "good standing " is " those who sin differently" ;-)
And a righteous person is one who repents.
Excommunication is one of the Greatest Blessings we could ALL ask for..... A chance to TRY again. It's a Principal and Process of LOVE.
Thank you, brother Higham, for being courageous and sharing your testimony and inspiration with us.
I’m so glad I found this and was able to hear your story. I’m crying thinking of all the people in the church who are hurting in this same way. I’m very proud of you! The humility and love you show to people is humbling on so many levels. (I know you’re not asking or fishing for that but it’s true).
Don't cry for this guy. He hurt literally dozens more. He is the opposite of Christlike. He is a wolf in sheep's clothing.
I am greatful for you sharing your story its hard but keep pressing forward the lord have something special in store for you we love you Dave.
Thank you for sharing your story. It is so very inspiring. The Lord is always on our side. No matter how foolish we may be. He is always cheering for our success and he wants us to come back to him. Good luck with getting rebaptised.
Thanks for sharing your story!!! I just read in the BofM - Omni 1- Everything good comes from god and everything evil comes from the devil!
We first covenant to TWO things in the temple: obedience AND sacrifice - because they were never intended to exist alone. Before the world was even created we all agreed we’d need a Savior!
Thanks for your encouraging words! Now time is going to be used by you to help many back into the gospel.
The five years is a blessing. It gives you time to first recognize the importance of knowing the seriousness of what we did and the importance that Our Heavenly Father loves you and wants you to make right as much as possible to undo the hurt and harm. Like the son of Alma. But realize you are a precious child of God and there is a way back. That takes time. That time is precious and needed. We all need to be there for each other, we all need time to rebuild our our relationship with our God and Saviour, and those whom are involved. Wish you well David. I know you and see you are on the right path.So happy you have a desire to help others who are going through same struggles. Keep moving forward. I love your mom and dad,they are there for you. carol
I remember when I was going through a rather serious repentance process. Sometimes bitterness would almost take over, as I felt I was having to wait way too long. But through Christ, I learned to humble myself. I realized it was meant to be, that I got to the point of really “feeling” and “missing” the blessings of the gospel and really missing what I had previously taken for granted. When that hunger and thirst happens, it’s part of His plan to have you return to Him ❤
I think the sons of Mossiah is the perfect example. The spent the rest of their lives in the work of our Saviour.
Continue working towards full membership in His Church.
I really appreciated your story. I am one that also appreciated and does repentance and forgiveness. I really appreciate your witness of these principles. I am learning that choosing to be a person who repents regularly and forgives everyone is really the best way to live!!! Forgiving is not about if, it’s about how and receiving of love and understanding through Christ. It’s a cleansing of pain by fire so one day you go to look for it and it’s gone. You are whole. I see that in your patience for re baptism. It’s beautiful! I recently told a friend that I would forgive someone specific and increase my love towards them. She responded that she knew I would. That was so reassuring to me. I want people to know that I forgive. That they can too. That forgiveness is all about cleansing toxins from ourselves and finding refuge in Christ.
Thank you for having the courage to share your experience. This will help so many people.
What beautiful wisdom!
Love it. Thanks for sharing your honest insights, for loving God and neighbours 🙏 ❤
Dave makes a good point that how we see people and their sins is not how God see’s them. We have many scriptures that talks about this. King David is a good example of this. It broke Christ’s heart to have to punish David, he loved him so much, had David only committed the immoral sin he would have had to suffer consequences for it, and paid the price, but he committed murder to cover up his sin, So as members of Christ church we need to love as Christ loves.
The Book of Mormon tells us that David also did the wicked practice of “desiring many wives and concubines.”
This was really fascinating to listen to, because I’m afraid that in the past I’ve assumed that people who lose their membership have “left the church”, but that’s certainly not true in every case and certainly not in your case. I really admire your loyalty to the Savior despite the disciplinary situation you are in. I hope the church does provide more support and guidance for those who have lost their membership and wish to return.
I think the idea of a “neighborhood” gets me in trouble. The kingdom of God is within me says Jesus. If I inherit all the Father (and Mother) hath, then my work and my glory will be the same as Theirs, and loving and helping others will be my delight and joy. I’ll carry the celestial kingdom within my breast and I’ll go wherever the Lord wants me to go. 🤔 Wow that injured dog analogy is the best - thank you 🙏 ❤
This is nice, thanks for this video
Eternity is in the balance! To gain exaltation is worth any sacrifice. Of course, this is easier said than done.❤
Just found your show and love it. Someone you should have on is Michelle Stone so she can share her story which is very relevant for our day. The women in the church are finally waking up!
Took me 5 years to have my name struck from the LDS Records, should have taken the EXcommunication door instead. although the process was painful, when I turned and looked back they are really just a good group of people, its just the Gospel teachings I had issues with.
The harder I looked on my own doubts and research ,the more that was thrown at me in volumes.
I do hope we can be forgiven for the way everyone treats other, by words or gestures.
God Bless in your New found Journey.
Once you leave the church and you make another life style. And you have said to yourself. That you are comfortable. You might not want to get out of that comfort that you have created after leaving and come back to the church And then you become afraid of how hard it will be to go back
god only does not forgive those who love evil more then good. No light left in them. Only God has the ability to do that. So there will be some who do not receive forgiveness, but God still hurts and feels the loss. Carol
I haven't attended my ward since the pre-covid pandemic, 2017. I will be ex'd for sure for the things I've done. I've been ex'd once and disfellowshiped three times. I always return to the same sins. I'm not worried about embarrassment or even church discipline, again. My fear is getting ex 'd again, then going for years through the repentance process, getting re baptized, THEN committing serious sin once again. Then, more discipline, then starting the repentance process all over again.
Never give up, never give in. The Lord has a plan for you.
Don’t give up! Jesus taught that He will forgive as many times as you repent. The adversary will try to discourage you. I’m 46 years old, and have struggled with a handful of sins off and on for decades. It’s exhausting, for sure. But you’re not alone. We don’t walk around sharing our private membership councils or sins. But there are many of us struggling in such a way. Keep the faith. You can do this, through Christ. He doesn’t give up on us. His arms are “stretched out all the day long”
Attend the church’s addiction recovery program. It is wonderful and has helped me to keep centered on what is important and lasting. He doesn’t ever give up on us though we may often give up on him.
Remember that there are always the scriptures to read and devour and the church meeting is open to you to attend.
Welcome
Ultimately, the “church”, baptism, attending the temple, ordinances, callings and so forth are nothing more than tools and vehicles for us to help with our personal covenants and relationships with God the Father and Jesus Christ. They are the only ones with the Power to redeem.
There is no redeeming power in being a member of the church or attending the temple without the Redeeming, sanctifying, cleansing power provided by the God head.
That 3 out of 100 making it back makes me sick. It's terrible that there aren't guides or publications for members wanting to come back. The fact that it fall to whether or not somebody comes back is up to some local leader taking it up makes me sick..no training makes me sick. I have a friend who has been trying for years and things change with every leader and it's been years now and he is struggling not give up.
I came back after 20 years. I didn’t agree with every bishop I’ve worked with. And many times I almost gave up. But after much effort on my end, years of trying and through the grace of God, I finally have my temple recommend. And it is worth it. All of it. It was worth finally arriving to where I am. And I must repent daily, or I can easily slide back into my “favorite sins”
Jesus is the only gate, we must work our own route to the only gate. OR there would be a single book or guide or publication for each person and someone else would still complain. The Book of Mormon seems to me to be the peRFect guide for everyone.
Did Dave serve his mission in Florida?
Your own mother’s funeral??! Non members and members of other religions have spoken in our branch at their relatives’ funerals! Sheesh.
I felt immediately that the bishop had made this difficult decision incorrectly. But since I’ve gotten older and maybe wiser😂 I realize that it’s not about the decision, it’s about what the bishop feels is what the Lord wants. It’s so important that that person humbly accept the bishop’s counsel (in this case) and realize that God can heal our broken hearts, and it’s up to us to accept the bishop’s decision as a human being who is fallible as is everyone.
Is there a contact email address I could use for a private conversation...thanks
Do you use Zoom or some other format for your multimedia posts like this....thanks
We use a platform called Streamyard
@@latterdaylightsI will check it out....thanks 4 your response
I have been a strong Christian for years. Joined the church now I sometimes see leaders not behaving or doing what the savior taught. Yet they have power over a membership! The savior taught sin no more right? If you are not sinning any more and over come the issue why do leaders including the president y do the opposite of what he taught? This bothers me
God only has us humans to work with. Luckily we can partake of the sacrament each week and if purposefully partaking we can renew our baptismal blessings. In that way we are perfect in the Lord. Not perfect ; the Lord continually cleanses us. Those in leadership have access to the keys given with their calling as an instrument n his hands. The are living complicated lives just like we are.❤️
God cannot forgive those who dont repent. We are to forgive them tho because we are not their judge, and we dont know how to judge perfectly. God can judge perfectly.
Not sure what you did, but if we are short and fall want to come back doesn’t make sense to take 5 years to come back. I don’t believe the savior works that harshly
Any information on how many excommunicated commit suicide
That might be pretty tough data to even verify.
Being suicidal usually involves a complex combination of things.
Genetics, pre-existing mental health issues, low self esteem, loss, nature/nurture. So many things. So that data would be hard to gather accurately.
I wasn’t suicidal from membership council and the loooong repentance process.
But sometimes I felt suicidal over the guilt I naturally felt from commiting some sins, that were so serious, they have permanent consequences.
I’m still devastated by the choices I made. And for those I’ve hurt.
I know I’m forgiven now. But despair over sin is real. But Jesus provides a way back
@@sarahaas183 I hear what you are saying....so, what level of sin is acceptable being as we all sin