Do Narcissists Love Themselves? 5 Indicators Of Their Deep Insecurity
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- Опубликовано: 13 дек 2020
- A primary indicator of a life well-lived is the ability to love, and in order to love well, it is necessary to have a healthy self-love. Narcissists, being very self-focused, may say they have self-love, but Dr. Les Carter explains how their self-enamored feelings are really strong indicators of deep insecurity. Do you know what self-love is?
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If narcissists truly " loved themselves " there would be absolutely no reason for the creation of the " false self".
I’m tracking with you. Dr. C
Wow! This hit me because I lived as a false self - the narc kept telling me what I needed to be, and I believed them. So, I put on a charcter and tried to be tbat person - overworked, dedicated, obedient. There was no self love. It was like a self jail. I left that. I think its worse for the narc or they would leave the false self too.
Yes, I feel it's true and obvious, their actual, true self would be enough and OK, there wouldn't be any reason to create the false facade. So the disguise and the abuse is all rooted in the same thing: they don't love themselves...
Absolutely...
I could not figure it all out when I was always being abused with horrible words and actions that we’re not close to being true..
It hit me hard when a councilor sat me downs and said in strong language...
(There’s absolutely nothing you can do anymore....nothing....
to get her to see and understand the truth) Nothing..
The damage on her end is unchangable...
She will always look for ways to destroy you in every situation...
and loves doing that makes her feel good...
She cannot stop...
The sooner I truly understand that ....
The better I’ll be in knowing that ...
How can a person who has No love or forgiveness inside can give that love and forgiveness back to you... They Can’t...”
I’ve learned......
When ever someone has:
Unconfessed sins & Unforgiveness.......
That person basically made a agreement with the enemy to kill.. steal and destroy both themselves and all others who are bounded to them..
@@gregmedbourn5347 As I see it, this is a perfect summary of what's going on in narcissistic relationships. We all have to learn this bitter lesson...
The thing that drives a narcissist crazy is the lack of control and the lack of a fight. The less you fight back, the less power you can give them over you, the better👍
So is this why they attract and create so much drama? For the control and constant fighting?
Exactly. This is how they try to feel good about themselves. The problem is, like any drug, the effect is temporary and then they need another fix.
I agree
Well said. My wife always starts the physical stuff when she doesn't like being confronted with facts. The divorce is only one month away. But I watch my back constantly. She is one of those entitled women that thinks hitting is okay for one gender and not the other.
@@rosiej9231 I think it has to do with their sense of no confidence. They need to find faults with others to puff up that endless ego.
Self love? Accepting myself as I am. Knowing that I'm not better or worse than others but I'm enough. No matter what. And knowing that I deserve being loved & respected.
You get it. Dr. C
Yes, this is exactly the type of message parents should be sharing with their kids. Having narc parents though seems to be about keeping this message in mind while dealing with your own family!
I do believe that is key . "To not place others above you or below you but on equal footing" . The narc can not tolerate this because they sincerely must maintain a position of superiority over others
They hate themselves .. and no matter how much love you show them they will hate you too and take you along for the ride! A life of hate and misery for you and them!
Truth !!! You should get an award !!
I'm understanding more and more . You can't give something that you do not possess. It must feel like a sting, to the narcissist when one trys to love them? If you hate yourself you can only react in hate. I don't know. I've tried to understand my mother and husband for decades. It keeps me exhausted. Prozac might work on these people.
If like me you have pulled away from the narc in your life.... are you feeling happier, lighter, relaxed, no longer threatened, have control of your own finances ...enough said ... team healthy 👍
I'm on my way to thriving in a world without him! I move out right after the new year! NEW YEAR, NEW LIFE! 🙏
Yes, although it took me a full four years to realize what I had been dealing with for an entire 31-year marriage.
@@beverlyorlando8040 best of luck Beverly x
@@tedschmitt178 best of luck ted x
On my way to the freedom 🙏🏻 hope to get the peaceful life 🌸🙏🏻
When you love yourself you can be honest with yourself so that you can improve!
I think a lot of people think that loving themselves is about not changing at all. I agree with you, and I think that loving ourselves is constantly changing ourselves for the better, improving, growing, and becoming the best version of ourselves there could ever be.
..and one must be honest with oneself in order to be honest with others.
💝
@kay ren Definitely
I agree Kyla... that's what's lacking in them... coming from a highly narc fam. They don't introspect they don't want to learn or grow.... they are hellish to be around and at the moment I'm trapped however, I can think of nothing much better in life than wanting to grow improve and learn in relation to ourselves the world the environment and ways to 'be'... honesty and warmth true trust and growth and empathy and real caring not authoritarianism. ... what do they think they've achieved when they're on their death beds. God knows how I turned out this way... All the sensitive caring empathetic gentle people in my family died young and all the narcs prevailed.... they can't be alone with themselves so they use us as supply. That's not growth that's causing pain and suffering for others. I pray for the day I can escape and hope I don't feel guilty for it... 🙋🙋
Narcissist is highly conflicted person, he just cannot feel good about himself, one side he need put down people, in order to feel good about himself; the other side he can not accept his true self, because he can not allow himself to be weak or make mistakes, he need others value.
Now that I think about it I’ll never say healthy narcissism again. As there is no part of narcissism that is healthy. Healthy narcissism is an oxymoron.
Narcissists are moronic. Oxy or otherwise lol. 😉
My ex husband use to love making fun of how I speak and behave in social settings and then he would imitate how I speak and behave in social settings. While on the car ride home commenting to me how everyone was laughing at me under their breath. (But of course not laughing at him because he was being a better me than me) It was stunning to see someone intentionally build their self esteem up through copying me and breaking me down.
Wow, how self absorbed can he get to bring you down!
They did it to me too. Many times. Theyre just sicko creatures and they destroy the places wherever they are. So sorry that was your husband and that you had to be subject to it all the time. Mine were Random people whose abuse I could stop by ending my relationships with wherever they are. People dont understand how much harm these pathological creatures can inflict to themselves and to the İnstitutions which Keep them until its too late.
Wow that's just outright disgusting, why in the world you would do that to a person who shared vows with
Wow, just wow. Best therapy I've had in 47 years. Divine intervention. I was just about at the end of my rope before these videos. Now I feel calm and affirmed.
Thanks, Ann. You're why I do the videos. Dr. C
Yes , so true . CALMNESS returns when Uncle Les & LOVE speaks “truth” , 😊 !
Sending loving hugs to you Ann , and all others on this “treasured space” , 👌 ! Goodnight from Wales 🏴 / U.K. , x .
@@elisabethpritchard3396 😘😘💖🙏
These videos are a life changer💖
@@user-of9bx1uk3u absolutely, hands down.
“Love increases when you give it away” ✨❤️💫✨❤️💫✨
Yes!! Love you and thank you!!!
I just got out 2 days ago!
Im so happy to be out, feel sad for him, slightly nervous for me (trying to gain my independent footing again) but i trust in God, my life is filled with blessings and abundance and i have everything i need. 💫❤️💫❤️💫
I am so very grateful
Congrats! Hope you find life easier to enjoy without carrying someone elses burden.
Still out?
Go Girl !! Gretchen this is the start of a new life of joy and counting blessings
This is the biggest step to escape and fly free ... now you can breathe and find out who YOU are.
I have walked this road and it is incredible how hindsight will continue to open your eyes as you reflect and your heart will sing to be free. Keep your head up and thank God for this new chance.
Prepare for a lot of ‘stalking’
Yay ! So happy for u !
The most insidious thing about suffering from narcissistic abuse is that nobody knows what narcissism is, and they don't care. They don't research it, and they never will. They don't want to hear about it. Because they're all Narcissists. Good times 😐
Some people do care and more are researching.💖
I’ve had a similar experience, because we/I reach out to people who haven’t experienced what we have, and they don’t get it. And people who are victims are narcissistic abuse may have a pattern of friendships and relationships throughout their life that have been with narcissistic people. So if we are trying to recover, and we are reaching out to people we are having a relationship with... they may be less than capable of listening, understanding, hearing what we are saying. I’ve felt sad about this, but I do get it. And my friendships that are still around, I try really hard to not take it personally when they don’t understand what I’ve gone through. Even my friends and family who obviously know what I’ve gone through, still don’t relate on the same level. It’s frustrating when you desire a deep conversation. But ultimately it’s okay and it’s going to be okay.
They certainly don't love themselves, as they wouldn't treat others the way they do if that was the case. 😥
Truth is a hard pill for them to swallow.
I am a sad Grandma..
I created a narcissist ..
I had my one and only child when I was 36 my dream come true!
I created a narcissist by treating her like she was a princess every single day of her life! I thought I was being the best mother I could be and the most loving mother but I could be!
I had no idea what I was doing... my daughter now is 35 she treats me like I am the most wicked person in the world she does not love me or respect me.. and she is keeping my grandchildren away from me is my punishment for giving her too much love...
Dr. Carter I have learned so much from you and you bring me peace.. nobody can take the sadness and the emptiness away from me.
Not your fault at all that she's mentally ill. She probably tells everybody who'll listen about how she was abused as a child. Narcissists repay kindness with contempt.
JESUS can☺️
Has it occurred to you that she's just a douchebag? You don't mention anything about her Father...
@@nervotica7991 My husband died when our daughter was only six years old... I remarried 5 years after that.. she had a wonderful stepdad well she still does m. But she wants nothing to do with anyone . She is not a nice human being
@@wisdomfromgeorge1704 - there is a thing called "Generational Curses". Might be what you are dealing with. I can point you to Derek Prince for more on this.
"Deeply pathologically defensive", yes!!!!
This video is on point. Yesterday I blocked a narc friend from my phone because all she would do on the phone is talk about herself. Like a God complex. She mattered & no one else. She would fall apart on the phone if I tried to share my point of view. The focus always had to be on her. She was deeply pathologically defensive. This video explains her manic perfectly. 10 years of patience with this narc. I woke up realizing, "I don't need this type of friend. She is too selfish!"
This is so true. I can see where my ex did not love himself At all. Everything About him really indicated there was a deep insecurity. Too bad it took me so long to see it. There was one time, prior to my finding out he was a narcissist, that I said he was insecure, he did not like that and immediately got defensive and said, "I'm not insecure, I've been doing things by myself, for myself my whole life." I answered, "that doesn't mean you're not insecure" I think he knew at that moment he was found out.
Healthy self esteem, self worth, self love. In order to love others please take care of self first. "Treat others the way you want to be treated"
How to have inner peace, is not feeling you have to be RIGHT...and making someone Wrong. You rather have peace than being right!
The biggest sign to me that my mother hated herself was the fact she was highly promiscuous. She did porn and prostitution for the fun of it ( she had a ft corporate job). My mother would pick up men at bars or night clubs, go home with them or bring them back to our house. I caught my mother many times having sex with strange men in the living room. She never had these men use condoms ( timeframe 80s-2015) so AIDS was definitely going on in the world . She was an exhibitionist and love wearing clothes that were very revealing. But if another woman did any of the things my mother did, my mother would instantly call the woman a whore with no self love or respect . Now, I know that’s called projections.
There's a huge difference between pride and narcissism. I always try to be humble when accepting complements, and the narcissist I know best wants full-on praise whether he's right or not.
When anyone gossips and bitches about everyone and bully workmates to the point of them leaving or suffer a breakdown their not happy or love themselves. My ex caused chaos all the time and was never ever at peace with herself
I've cut a friendout of my life because I was sick of her constantly belittling others. Even people she didn't know. It sucks the life out of you eventually and you need to say enough is enough. We all owe it to ourselves to live with team healthy.
They can’t stand any one else being happy because they are so unhappy
@@pianolearner7 so true . I've never met anyone who constantly moans about other people on a Daily basis and tries to turn good people against one another behind their backs ..... like you said draining and boring
Before I knew about narcissist. The narcissist I knew would give me the silent treatment and it would hurt me to be ignored for weeks at a time until he wanted/needed something. So out of frustration I decided I m gonna treat him how he treats me. Boy he could not take it but expect me to. So I began to ignore him. He acted like it didn't bother him until one day we had an argument and he says......when you come home you go the other way and ignore me!! I almost fell out. Knowing the same way you ignore me and I m suppose to just take it you cannot. But I thought this is what you wanted. No!! He wants to be the one doing all the damage and when I flipped it he could not handle it and at that moment I saw his weakness. I,t was a turnoff.
Thanks for helping me understand narcissist and their traits!!
Yes!.....my ex narc girlfriend would constantly give me the silent treatments cold shoulder every other time we tried going out and doing something. it got to be very tiring and exhausting. I was like WTH! really? after not being out in weeks sometimes this would happen and now she's discarded me after 4 years like i was a piece of garbage. Oh well i guess....it hurts deeply but i gotta get over it for my kids sake.
It's completely and utterly delusional for someone to even put "healthy" and "narcissism" next to one another in a sentence as if they compliment one another.... it's like calling a serial killer loving.... people like that truly don't get it🤦🏽♀️
Yes, like 'healthy anorexia' or 'healthy cancer'
What if the serial killer targets abusers though?
Michelle Näsi Then he is a spy.
@@specialtwice4975 Spies are not serial killers, spies are hired by governments to find out secrets and tactics other governments use in warfare. They don't kill people or even expose abusers that is not their task, their task is to help their own government to have a good strategy in combat with other governments, have spies killed people, perhaps but that is not their job, they probably just do it if anyone find out what they are doing and are compromised. So no!
Healthy EGO is the real need of everyone, as narcissism is the ego gone unhealthy and destructively selfish and evil.
I was in a terrible spot this time last year, so down and confused because I didn’t understand I was with a narcissist. I started listening to you after I started searching disorders trying to figure out what was happening in my relationship. You helped me tremendously, I am very thankful ❤️
“Let’s be difference makers” 🙌🏼
Yup
I really like that!
Oh my ex Narc was very self enamored,, he’d brag about how good he looks compared to others his age ,, his eyes were cosmetically done , his teeth were capped white ,, his hair had to be colored,, all this fake ness ,,, but so empty inside,,,,
Their “love” of self is actually “ self abuse”.
Interesting observation. It's a shame they treat themselves that way.
Masochistic
Yea mine said she was always love me only thing she loved was abusing me if u abuse someone how do u love them lol
@Weare Thecollective wow
Wow
The narcissist is filled with so much shame and self judgment they cannot even look at themselves in the mirror so they have to steal other peoples joy and happiness and steal other peoples identity in order to feel better about themselves and when you look at God’s word and see how evil these people are the best thing you can do is detach and get back on your path of truth and righteousness and live your best life
I you know I truly think that a narcissist could possibly love themselves if they became humble enough to go to God and his mighty throne and beg forgiveness for their evil and God who is filled with grace mercy and kindness would bestow forgiveness
Amen!
I am dealing with one in a church ministry. She is a raging narcissist and believes she is in God's good grace! The blindness of these Pharisees...
@@NarcissismExposed my ex is heavily into the gospel and posts Bible verses on FB and “blesses” everyone and thanks Jesus after every post. He’s sweet and humble on FB then posts a picture of his Porsche or guitars or his beautiful house. He likes the pictures of all the girls who like his posts. Then he will smear me in an indirect way on a post and then all his FB girls friends will all like and comment, several of these women do it to hurt me as we broke up not to long ago. It’s either Holy Holy or look at me. It hurts but I’m coming to terms at his true character. As a Christian, I also fear I slip into judgement of him when he intentionally tries to hurt me. I’m having a hard time reconciling my faith and calling out his abuse in my mind. I feel like I should be more forgiving when he hurts me but instead I just feel angry and hurt.
@@larryt2b47
You can forgive him but you don't have to put up with the abuse.
I am struggling with the same thing but it's my dad who's the narcissist.
Pray for the Lord to protect you from the fiery darts of the evil one. We wrestle not against flesh and blood.
God is greater and Jesus has already won, He has victory over the devil.
We will live with our Lord and Saviour for ever and ever free of pain and misery. Nothing but joy, peace and love for eternity.
Let's set our eyes on things above and thank God who is Sovereign over all for keeping us. Praise His Holy Name. Jesus is Lord.
Sadly I don’t think they understand themselves who they are, to me they are in perpetual confusion ...
Ahhh Greee. She confuses herself by telling different lies about the same subject.
I agree. My narc friend has absolutely no idea what’s wrong with her, and she never will.
The devil is the author of confusion.
You can find out how narcissists feel by watching Sam vaknin conference ‘how a narcissist experience/react to…. It’s an eye opener, it must be horrible to be a narcissist
Right, recently my psychiatrist uploaded a video about healthy narcissism and I was like... uh oh. Thankfully this was after our first virtual session and I cancelled the next. Respect. But, not a match. Thanks for saying this Dr. C
Why would your psychiatrist upload a video about healthy narcissism, I wonder?
flashfloodarea3 She has a RUclips channel regarding mental health 🤷♀️ She seemed to want to present the concept there are healthy aspects or levels of narcissism. But I resonate more with what is presented in this video👍
Self Love says I love myself with my positives and shortcomings. I am not perfect and I don't have to be perfect to be deserving of love and respect. I love and respect myself as well as others. I am a work in progress and improving constantly.
Narcissist says I am the ultimate one and the only one who matters. How dare you think about your needs? What makes you believe you are that important? Let me clip your wings and cut you down to size so that you never forget that I am the only one who matters and my needs are what you need to be focused on. With this agenda, the narcissist will do everything in his/her might including running smear campaigns and being verbally/physically abusive to keep you captive in their darkness.
If you disagree with a narcissist, they will perceive you are against them. If you try to explain how their behavior impacts you negatively, they will refuse to acknowledge your feelings and instead blame you with being overly sensitive or simply gaslight you i.e. lie on your face that something happened. They are completely devoid of morality and empathy. Without empathy, there can be no love, neither for the self nor for anyone else.
Love yourself ... so important.
Caro Sperman, you look stunning
They don't love themselves and therefore they try their best so that you wouldn't and couldn't love yourself either.. Never let them win.
Good one, Dr. C. After all is said and done, I think the narcissist comes into our lives to help us see the ugliness of self-adulation and self-centeredness, helping us codependents find true self love at last. ❤️
I had a narcissist boss that would constantly try to say that he was the strongest, and once we lifted a heavy object together and I lifted my side up with no problem and he couldnt even lift his side,i actually found it pretty funny , he looked so mad he was boiling inside, he had a constant red face from being mad all the time
YES, he hates to be challenged on anything
When you talked about the concept of "healthy narcissism" I found myself thinking back to when you told us about Miguel. There wasn't any narcissism in him, yet he had an abundance of self love, which is what made him so kind. It overflowed to include the people around him.
I can't speak for others, but to me, you appear that way too. You make these videos and help so many of us for the pleasure of adding to the world and the common good. But there is no narcissism in you, just an abundance of love that overflows to include those around you.
That's where I want to be. That what I want to aim for. :)
Great connection. Dr. C
I just don't understand how they feel better by making others look and feel bad, even their own children. If I make someone sad, I feel awful until I've set it right by admitting my fault, asking their forgiveness and doing something nice to comfort or cheer them. And that would include explaining to anyone else involved. Having integrity is what makes me feel good, and making a positive contribution in others' lives. How can they feel good by wrecking others' relationships and reputations. My mother seemed to enjoy my pain and taught others to as well.
Life with my narcissistic mother-in-law, and 2 sister-in-laws was hell on earth. They are all incredibly insecure and highly competitive. It was exhausting.
My husband told me that he was living in a real-life version of Cinderella with the evil stepmother and the two ugly stepsisters.
My husband warned me about them before we got married but they all came off as so sweet and agreeable that I, foolishly, did not believe him.
Thank you. And they work hard to prove it’s you that is the narcissist when narcissism is leaking out of the pores.
My ex was the “Golden Child” in his family. When we were in counseling, I ran across a note he had in his desk. “I like myself, I’m too nice a guy. I deserve better.” As for me, “I gave up.” It was the right decision, and I’ve never had one moment of regret. I started to like myself a lot more after I left.
That illustrates what this video is all about. Dr. C
Nancy Murphy, you deserve better
Narcissists do not have loving caring feelings, so cannot in the truest form "love" themselves otherwise they wouldn't treat their loved ones viciously or covertly to eventually destroy them. They are jealous, insecure ,liars, tunnel visioned and do have grandiosity! Nope...they have no self respect and therefore do not respect you for your lack of boundaries and weaknesses.....
No that's why they kick us when were down my dad & his flying munkys do this to me often after I am already mourning a loss .
Not just that. This is also why they turn abusive especially when they don’t get their way or when life does not go their way. Does not matter how small the perceived infraction is.
😢
Yeah, I was recently considering dating someone; but after several nice conversations, they suddenly attacked me - shaming me relentlessly for making a dumb mistake that hurt no one but myself. I hadn't asked for advice, I was just telling on myself for making a dumb mistake.
I already felt bad that I had messed up and was experiencing the consequences for myself, so there was absolutely no reason for this casual friend to chew me out. Big red flag, even though the person apologized after I expressed puzzlement that they would engage in kicking me when I was down.
I'll continue to be friendly, but I'm wary about this person now. No longer interested in getting too close.
@@jillevans9127 I know the feeling 😥
Stay “close” to your newly adopted Uncle : Les Carter , 😊 .
All his experienced WISDOM will guide you on the right path of renewed calmness , even joy , and quite often
some true laugh 😂 out loud moments ! ! Take care .
I'm so glad you said There is no such thing as healthy Narcissism!.. I hear professional counselor saying there is.. No manipulating people is not good having no empathy for people is not good :) thank you doctor C
Thank you Dr. Carter, to me what it boils down to is, love of oneself and of others in the truest sense leaves no room for abuse. And with a narcissist, there is always abuse of some form close by in the dynamic. Most narcissist operate this way instinctually and others are more calculated in their endeavors. The thing is, in their minds they are doing no wrong and it works for them. Abuse of any kind is never OK. And if at all possible once you know you go!
If only the narcissist would just be himself and not try to pretend what he is not, people would like them for what they are. I guess if one doesn't love oneself, then it must be difficult for that person to picture someone else loving him.
I asked mine this question many times. He never answered it. I think he hated himself so much. I told him it was ok to love himself. They just can't
How to get rid of a narcissist?! ( Tell them you Love them!! ) they don't have self Love, so they cannot believe someone would Love them....they start to say things like your not normal and name calling....then you get discarded
Exactly in that order .
"Your behavior indicates otherwise."
The narcissist I just got through dealing with had a small chalk board in his kitchen that read, "today's affirmation" where he'd written, "I love me" in the board's space. If that wasn't a dead giveaway I don't know what else could be.
Thank you!!
I have found that the narcissist in my life works at deep manipulation of me to get his way on everything. This past weekend he spent most of the time trying to convince me he was dying of an illness (he wasn’t, but he always has a physical ailment to try to get my attention.). Then, when I had to leave this afternoon, he threw his typical fit, criticizing, condemning and belittling me for over an hour about how selfish I was for having to leave him. He says he has abandonment issues. He doesn’t seem to care that I take care of my elderly parents and I drive on crowded roads (and now, this time of year, on icy roads, to come visit him.) He has systematically chased away most people in his life including his children and many friends. He tells me I’m the only person he has in his life! I simply do not want all the responsibility of being “all he has”. I love him and care about him, but I am growing very weary of all of his emotional, controlling abuse and very dark manipulation I feel he perpetuates on me constantly! I’m completely onto his game, but I try to ignore it as much as is humanly possible! I’m a loving, empath person, who sees the “light” and “goodness”, but I am also very sad about how he treats me.
A life well lived sounds good to me.
Narcissistic tendencies are created in an inner world built on the perception of a deep scarcity of resources/love.
Dr. Carter, I am so thankful for your GODLY wisdom. The thing that baffles me; My Narcissistic mother and husband are both so conceited, so full of themselves.They never take a breath when it comes to bragging about all of their acolades. They both seem so in love with themselves. My mother has always sheltered herself, making sure that no one mistreats her. In so many ways it appears as if she loves herself. It's hard to believe that they hate themselves? Is it all an act? Thank you.😄
Self love vs self centered.
Oh my gosh, I had to stop this video for a good laugh. My Narcissist brother and mother both use to go out side and yell at the top of their lungs, "I'm the best.....I'm the best, " And they meant it !!! Sometimes when my adult children want to make each other laugh they'll tongue-in-cheek yell their mantra as a joke.
Wow - unbelievable!
Congratulations, you tricked me into wanting to have a self esteem because if I have a self esteem then I can be a better person to others.
Gus loves himself and everyone else - that's all I need to know...
Dogs are the best ❤️🐾🐾🐾
Narcissists are hurt when you focusing on yourself and they think thats selfish because thats remindes them that they really dont know how to focus on themselfs. Are you in hurt focusing on narcissists More than yourself, i think absolutly. We need to make ourselfs top priority because without ourselfs there is nothing. Narcissists can think different way about life than us but we dont have to fall for their sickness because love is inside on us already.
You are doing us a great service by affirming we deserve better. Thanks Dr. C.
"Love starts with you..." ❤
Thank you for the reminder Dr.Les
Thank you, your light shines so bright. ♥️
Excellent stuff, ur descriptions are so spot on and thought provoking 🙌🏾 thanks Dr.C for unpacking a tricky topic 🌀
Oh, thank you Dr. Carter. You make me love your compassion and care.❤️
Thank you for dissembling the idea of “healthy narcissism”.
I particularly appreciated today's delineation of the qualities inherent to a healthy personality.
Yes, I was told these things growing up, to not love self but to love and care for others
Thank you for another wonderful video! Very helpful and your videos seem to always get me through good and bad days because your sincerity and caring come through and I so appreciate it!
Yes, love yourself is huge!! It took me many years of my life to get that. Thank you once again for your awesome wisdom and teaching. Wishing you and yours a very Merry Christmas!
Thank you for sharing Dr. Carter, I appreciate you VERY much! My heart is happy and yes let's be difference makers! 💕
You are so right Dr. C. I especially resonate with your discomfort with violent video games and media. In our culture we are bombarded with movies, tv shows, video games and advertisements that promote and glamorize aspects of a disordered personality- even to the point where psychopathic killers are commonly used as main characters for the audience to identify with.
When people are focusing on these themes on a large scale we are tainting our collective unconscious with images and ideas that will perpetuate violence, injustice, exploitation, and war.
It really makes you wonder who is running things when the traits of psychopaths are so heavily promoted in mass culture.
Very good video , very supportive thank you, Dr. Les Carter.
Great video. I didn't know what a narcissist was or how to deal with one (daughter in law - perhaps a great future topic) but after spending the weekend listening to these videos i am on the path to taking control of my emotions back. This this last video affirms that I am on the right track.
Yes, Excellent Discussion on Love. I did not know this kind of stuff. You are no doubt one of the best kind of Dr.'s! I love to hear about love.
Another one of your best videos, Dr C!! Thank you for your wisdom. It's just what I need to hear, as usual.
Thanks, Lynn. Dr. C
You are totally right on the so called healthy narcissism ! And everything as always ❤️
Well done. Very helpful.
Thank you for this public service, Dr. C.
Love the Father with all you’ve got snd love your neighbor as yourself. It’s great for our neighbor if we love ourselves as the Father does, more and more daily.
I came across your channel 24 hours ago and have already watched so many of your videos, they have helped me so much😊 thank you Dr Carter! Wishing you the absolute best for 2021✨
Thanks, and I'm pleased the videos have resonated. Glad you're on board! Dr. C
I just love your videos Dr. Carter, you are amazing and have helped me in so many ways to understand narcissism and how to deal with it in the family.
Thank you for your beautifully delivered lecture.
Love Peace and Happiness ❤
Used your "I release you'' sayings last nite! Lifesaver!!! #nolongerstrugglinginoklahoma
So pleased! Dr. C
Tara Elmegreen,your pretty smile can make the news!
@@lioydwilliams1850 ty
Thank you,for the insights, Merry Christmas ⛄🎄
They have a deep seated feeling of inferiority and loathing that comes out almost in a bullying fashion. It is interesting to watch my boss who is a textbook case. He thinks he is the smartest man in the room and makes others do things exactly how he does it. Problem is - most of the time operationally he has no idea what he is doing. Thankfully, I'm leaving in 12 days!!
Yes you totally right and that's only good sense. Thanks you so much for this. You one of the best.
I realized this year that what someone can’t do for themselves, they can’t do for you. Some people cannot give love or kindness because they don’t even have it for themselves! I have hated myself for years and thought I was in love with quite a few people. Only now realizing that was just obsession partially fueled by inferiority complexes. I’m now learning to love myself and I hope that means I can fall in love at some point too
Learn to love ourselves. Honesty is always the best policy.
So true, so true! So well worded! Thank you again from Stockholm.
Ulla Portefaix,hope you are not with a narcissist!
My new litmus test is that GMC Arcadia commercial! When the woman bought the man a fit bit and he bought her a truck and she took his truck! If the woman likes that commercial! I stop talking to her immediately!!
I had the same thought! Dr. C
i'm not here to pick any fights with anyone. And definately im not here to break any hearts. all i have is unconditional love... from so called upsidown under australia. it takes time. most people don't even know. . remain honourable. stay strong man.
True true true. The narc 72 years old posts teenage quizzes with outcomes about his so called traits, why? To proove something they are insecure about. And all the other things you mention apply on the ex narc. Exactly. Everything you are saying is so so true and recognizable. Thank you 🙏🏻
Doctor Carter, you are cut from a different cloth! Thank you, thank you, thank you for the gift of YOU! These videos are so wonderful and encouraging. The Lord is using you! May God continue to bless you and your family. Happy Holidays. 🎄🎀🎁🙏🏻
Thanks so much, David. Dr. C
Thanks for your most insightful and useful videos.
Thank you!!
@Dr.C Thank you 🙂
Thsnk you Sir.your channel very informative
Helping me indeed🙏bless you
Pleased! Dr. C
Great video.
Well said Dr. Carter. You did a great job of explaining the difference between self-love and selfishness. In this age of 'self-esteem' I think its important that we differentiate between self-esteem that is based on accomplishments and the unconditional love we should receive from our parents. Not understanding the difference causes young people considerable anguish as they reach adulthood and realize not everyone is going to like them 'just because'. In the real world respect has to be earned. I'm even against participation trophies. We all need to learn to be gracious losers. In the real world we will lose sometimes. We will get fired. We will be treated unfairly. If you have real ego strength these will be seen as set-backs and not the end of world. I was a classroom teacher for 30 years and today a lot of parents want their child to be considered special and receive special considerations. It's very unhealthy. I mean how does a teacher put 30 kids at the front of the class so they pay attention better? This teaches children that they don't have to be responsible for themselves. It encourages immaturity. We can very clearly see the result of this emphasis on SELF-esteem in this last presidential election. We have a grown man that can't accept loss because he's very immature among other things. Humans evolved to cooperate with each other, to value each other and to help each other. That is where our strength as a species comes from; from caring about each other.