I remember reading a comment on a video having to do with clearing out a deceased parent's house. The person said that their parent had an overwhelming amount of possessions to the point where they had to rent a dumpster just to clear out the broken, useless worn out things in the house. As bad as the main level was, she was so dreading the attic which, the last time she had seen it, was filled from floor to ceiling with dusty boxes, old furniture and wide assortment of unused things that had just been tossed up there over the decades. She steeled herself one day and opened the attic door....and there was nothing up there. Not a thing. She remembered how she cried realizing that her mom had loved her enough to get rid of that stuff. That really made an impression on me. We have to love our kids enough to do this for ourselves so that our kids won't have to.
This one really makes me happy. Ma got to do that task within her own terms. And energy level. And timeline. And if she only wanted to deal with it for half an hour then quit for the day, that's what she did with nobody on the sidelines urging her against her will, to "Just POWER THROUGH! We can see the finish line!" Because maybe that didn't feel good to her in that moment; people tend to think eryone always feels the same as they do about everything. Uhh... WE DON'T!!
Imagine if cleaning is hard for us, what a difficult task it would be for our loved ones once we are gone. It is selfish in some way. I think this should be in our to do list, decluter one drawer, at least once a week.
We had a sale of my dad's workshop where he had all kinds of electrical gauges and gizmos. During the sale a young man with the exact body type ,ginger hair and engineer glint in his eyes, just like my dad! He was holding several cases of gauges and was thrilled! Obviously from the same planet as dad!. It made me really happy to know my dad would have been happy to see the prized gizmos go to someone who would also cherish them.
We who spend a life gathering these “treasures” ALL hope there is someone out there who will treasure them as we did. This young man is lucky and your father is happy. 😊
It does feel good to pass valued items along. My husband passed 5 years ago and when I moved, I downsized. I was able to give away and/or sell everything I didn’t want, and I only donated 1 pick-up truck of things.
I'm in the middle of bearing this burden. My mom is in the nursing home and I get the job of clearing out her house, filled with absolutely everything. She never threw anything away, including junk mail and receipts. Tons of pictures,cards, letters. Everything we ever made at school. Everything from all 5 of her husbands and even stuff from their kids and exes. More stuff than you can possibly imagine. People!! Please do this for your loved ones!!!
You can do this! Slowly. Just take your time and always think the good times with her while you cleaned up. This helps me tremendously while I'm cleaning my mum's house.
Completely agreed! I am also in the middle of clearing my mother’s house too in anticipation of her moving to a nursing home. I’m an only child who is 38 with two small children and lives in a foreign country. To say it is difficult to find time to go through the mountains of stuff is a gross understatement. I BEG YOU DO THIS NOW DON’T LEAVE IT FOR YOUR CHILDREN! Good luck to both of us!!
As an only child,😢 who are you going to be leaving your stuff too? I am both single and have no children. I have one brother but I don't have any nieces or nephews. I hope this isn't too personal of a question if it is just let me know and I will completely understand.
Thanks for that! I know I have a lot of "useless junk" but also stuff I just like having around me. Stuff like crystal and Hummels, and books, and certain collections... that others would call clutter. I don't think the new spare (Scandi-ish) clean look is for everyone. Maybe I'll designate that the Hummels be sold and the $$ donated to a specific Charity, since I'm pretty sure my kid or nieces/nephews wdnt be interested. BUT THEY'RE SO CUTE!!
I’ve got stuff I use occasionally boxed up and labeled. My kids know there’s no good jewelry hidden, no cash hidden, no stock certificates. When I die, they can point the Got Yunk guys to what goes into the truck for the charity shop, and what goes into their autos to take home. If they need cash they’ll be able to sell stuff like you did. I feel like I’ve accomplished a hybrid solution - and it does give great peace of mind.
@@tracishafer9190I'll declutter as much as I can and then leave the content of the house to one charity and the house to another, that way they have to fight over it
I want my kids to gather together after my funeral and talk about how awkward a mama I was, not curse me because of all the work ahead of them bc of all my crap. I am only 51, but I have decluttered sooo much unnecessary stuff. Thanks for your great encouragement!!!
Same. I’m 58 and my husband is 61… we’ve been getting rid of stuff. Went thru Hell cleaning out my parents and grand parents house in the same year ! Ugh
I cleaned under my sink and discovered a leaky pipe and black mold. Decluttering can save us from dying....literally. My mom saved some of my school projects. After she died, I found them and missed her. Watching this video reminded me of that. Thank you.♥️
This IS a great idea. One word of caution, though, about ditching dvd's: if it's a show/movie that you love and know you will watch again (and again, and again . . . ) I say keep the dvd, and here's why: while it's true that you can find a whole lot of shows and movies on the various streaming platforms, note that not only can they possibly have every show/movie you might want to see, but they also cycle things out, so even if you can find it on Netflix today, 2 years from now when you really want to watch it, there's a good chance they won't still have it available. So if you have favorites, or hard-to-find shows, keep the dvd. You probably won't have that many, and you could always keep them all in one place so they'll be easy to find and declutter before you move to the old folks home.
I agree, we have a modest DVD collection by early 2000s standards, but it probably seems huge to others these days. We went through them when we moved last year and kept quite a lot, because we do watch them! And yes many of them are movies and shows you can't get any more. In fact we had VHS tapes, but our player (which i don't think we'd plugged in for about a decade 😂) was eating the tapes, so we had to find a couple of movies on DVD through a specialist online shop to replace the tapes we couldn't use anymore.
I have a four bedroom house. My late husband was a hoarder, he filled three rooms with computers and related paraphernalia and so many other things, there was no space to walk around in these rooms. He never wanted to throw away anything. He passed away in 2014, it took me six months to clear the rooms. I learned a valuable lesson to throw/give/sale stuff, so my busy adult children won’t need to spend months clearing up my house when I die.
@@carollynt why am I a hoarder? I cleared three bedrooms on my own without anybody’s help. I was 65, it wasn’t easy to bring down the heavy items from upstairs, and I didn’t do that for eight hours everyday. It was hard and tiring work, so I cleared for two hours each day. Made 20+ trips to the rubbish dump to recycle the stuff. Know the difference between a hoarder and the one who has to deal with the accumulated hoard.
My paternal grandmother was married to a hoarder as well.She had to smuggle expired food out of the basement that he forgot about😢. I feel sorry i couldnt help her as I imagined my tiny light little 5'2" Grandma who was tiny lugging #10 cans up the steep basement stairs in her 70s after having a quadruple bypass in her 60s
@@DVB1848I understand this completely, I have a friend who has taken 2 years to clear out her mother's things. It's an emotional and very tough situation. Hope your OK. And well done for getting to the end of it.
I'm 63 and did my "Swedish Death Cleaning" five years ago, and it feels awesome. If, for whatever reason, my time were to come tomorrow (which I highly doubt, as I'm very healthy), my daughter could hire a stranger to remove the current stuff I'm using. There's nothing of value to her. If anything I owned was meaningful to her, she already has it in her possession. It makes me feel peaceful. Thank you for the content. 🙌💟
@@Mandara1847 i think you misread the comment. She doesn't have anything of value to her daughter. So if she died tomorrow, her daughter wouldn't have to go through her things, she could just send it all to charity or sell it.
I told a dying relative to give important things away while she was still living so she could have the joy of seeing their appreciation. It didn’t happen.
@@claremiller9979 That is not the point! I do not keep stuff to make my childen happy by inheriting. I hold it, because it makes ME happy! And if that means, after my unfortunate demise has to clear up my belongings, well, that is as it is. Just to „lighten someone‘s burden“, I do not deprive myself of things that bring ME joy. As I wrote before - being terminally ill is another story!
@Mandara1847 I'm pretty sure she's still keeping the things that bring her joy, the point is that nothing she currently has is something that her daughter would want to inherit: her daughter already has all that stuff. Like the house is devoid of things that make her children happy, and only has stuff that makes HER happy.
I need to do this with my home. After my FIL passed away, we had to clean out his house with 50 years worth of stuff. It took forever! But I can give anyone doing this a quick tip. If using trash bags for both trash and items you're donating, buy different color bags. I used white bags I could write on for donations and black bags for trash. Made it easier to sort them as they came out of the house. White bags were stored in the garage until I had them picked up and black bags went straight to the curb. Oh, if you can, use a service like Pick Up Please, which will come to your home and haul away donations for FREE. You can make your appointment online, then just put all your stuff outside on the scheduled date. Also i find if i make an appointment before I'm done decluttering, it helps me stay focused and get things done.
Be sure to check the ratings of the Pick Up Please near you before you begin this process- I just did and they have 10 5 star reviews but NINETEEN 1 star and a couple of 2 star reviews. Most said the same thing: no call no show repeatedly, or when they did finally show they picked thru the items and left the rest behind (despite users having checked and followed donation rules). Hopefully, this only applies to this particular outlet, but better safe than sorry, just FYI.
@@ladyfingerhandmade Thanks, probably just this one outlet but didn't want a mess left behind after hauling it to the curb. It seems like SO many places are different since the pandemic started in 2020, so now I always check.
I’ve lost both my parents over the last couple of years, and I have yet to cry. It was so overwhelming dealing with end-stage life decisions, rehab facilities, assisted-living, and trying to keep them in their home (which was their wish)- and then when they did pass away, the house of 60 years was literally packed with junk. I live 12 hours away. My mother especially slipped into dementia, but now I know my dad did too. It has been over a year since mom passed away, and I still have probably 20 boxes of papers and photos and letters to go through in my own attic. There was so much! My mother treasured every single item.
Her life was probably meaningless once she had no possessions that she loved. I can understand getting rid of rubbish but you need to keep some of the objects that make you happy.
@@paulasoy2731I understand what you mean I do love things that bring good memories and feelings to me from childhood, from vacations, things that make me happy…Her house was sterile looking eventually.
Warning signs may be present in adults who have a high risk for suicide: *Giving away cherished personal possessions*……When I was 13 a woman down the end of the street…… Eve, a very talented artist and single mother….. with a strong male adult only child. He used to beat her up regularly. She wanted a special, mutually supportive monogamous soul mate yet kept on being used and abused by men (seeing her vulnerability)……and imagine the pain of being beat up by her only child. So terrible. Thinking back the only warning sign for her suicide was the piles of her beautiful treasured possessions on the street…..
I will say certain toys are worth keeping. My parents kept a lot of our stuff and now my son is playing with it. It makes my heart so happy to see him enjoying those things. I don't know if I'll hang on to as much as them, but I think that there is joy in a favorite toy even many years later. My aunt found one of her dolls while cleaning out my grandmother's house and was so happy telling stories about it. Then she passed it on to her granddaughter who also loves it.
I think a big part of it too is that someone is already completely overwhelmed dealing with the loss of a loved one. To then deal with the burden and the guilt of having to get rid of a house full of things seems unbearable
I wholeheartedly agree with you. My beloved father passed away last year and clearing out his things/home was very difficult, overwhelming and heartbreaking. I miss my dad every day and I love him dearly however he kept everything. My mom passed away over 30 years ago and my dad kept all her stuff, even her makeup, which was so painful to see. It was like a triple heartbreak: loosing my sweet dad, the loss of my mom and to see how much my dad was heartbroken over my mom. This is not to criticize my dad but simply to say that clearing a loved one possessions is unbearable as you said it so well. I'm now doing the "Swedish Death Cleaning" on steroids LOL 😂 so that my family will not have to deal with all my stuff! ❤
@@fabienneroure9995 My only concern about Swedish Death Cleaning is that it will just free more space for new junk to replace it. Also, it could cost money, because some things that were tossed, later could be discovered to actually be needed. All that said, SDC is a good idea, if done correctly.
@@FLPhotoCatcher I agree! This is why I started with things I was not using/wearing, home decor, holiday decor, books, cd's etc. It got my decluttering muscles going! Cheers from Ontario Canada. 🍄🍂🍁
@@FLPhotoCatcher the minimal mom talks about this, first you will find out you don't need most of the things. If you do, will you know exactly where it is in a pile of stuff or remember you own it at all? Nope, you end up buying replacements anyway over and over again. Then, is the potential of using it worth the years of taking care of it? Lastly, she said that if you really have a hard time or in general give yourself a replacement budget. If it costs less than 10$ to replace, throw it. Try to live without it, and creating alternatives. If it's an expensive appliance or something, quarantine it until the ultimate decision. I found that I will find something, forgot I have it, declutter and after a day don't even remember what I tossed. You WILL have regrets, that's just the nature of it. But that's why you need to start and learn about yourself. I've gotten so good with knowing what I will use that I don't even buy clutter anymore.
@@whatbringsmepeace I'm not talking about hoarders. Just the average American - though most hoarders do have minimal standards of what to keep, generally not keeping something that is objectively worthless. No, it's not a bad thing to buy something you need later, but keep in mind that Americans buy the most stuff of almost any country on earth. So throwing out most of their stuff per SDC will result in some good things being thrown out, and perpetuate American spending on more new stuff, most of which is of a lower quality than stuff from before a few decades ago. And so the landfills fill up, and the harmful chemicals leach into our water and soil. My original comment was a warning about consumerism, pollution, and wastefulness.
As someone who has had to clean out a parent's stuff after they died, I am DETERMINED that my kids won't have to suffer through the same thing as me. I think cleaning out the years of crap (and let's face it, most of it IS crap our kids don't want), is the best inheritance we can leave our loved ones -- along with some money, if you have any left, lol.
Oh, my goodness! I could have written this comment word for word! I harbor great resentment that a family member left their nonsense to the other family members to sort out
Thanks so much for this video! I'm a 60 year old, struggling with a messy house, and you have inspired me so much, and you are so sweet and entertaining......Thanks!
I'm 60 and think a lot about Swedish Death cleaning, knowing that my now grown kids will have to deal with my stuff in the next couple of decades. I had never thought of it as being for someone your age, but I see that it has a really valuable application for your age too. Very well done!
I'm 36, I try to do it about once a year (a lot less to deal with second time than the first). I think if you die young it might be more of a shock for those around you, not the order of things but it still happens. _If_ I happen to go to soon I'd like to atleast help my loved ones deal with it this way. A last action of love to them.
@@thebestwillowthat is a great point. I am going to delete the Temu app. As soon as I get the stuff I accidentally ordered. All I am doing is spinning my wheels, re-decluttering!
When my grandma died, I cleared out her house together with my mom, sister, aunt and cousin. We found heaps of clothes hangers. In every room, in every cupboard. At some point, we started laughing hysterically at every other hanger we found, until we were in tears. And during my mother's eulogy, she mentioned the word 'hangers' - and all my grandma's friends and distant relatives must have thought 'They're crazy. Why are they laughing?' It was like my grandma's last joke for us. As if she had deliberately owned so many clothes hangers just to make us laugh. I still smile a lot today when I open the closet 😊
Maybe she had so many empty hangers because she had just decluttered her tatty old clothes. So that her children and grandchildren wouldn't have to. It sounds like she at least tried to clear things for you ❤️
I read The Art of Swedish Death Cleaning several years ago and LOVED IT. 10/10 would recommend. My favorite tip and what I would consider the most useful, is labeling things that can be thrown out after you die. When my grandma died my dad and his siblings found a big box of all the personal cards and letters she had received in her lifetime. She obviously kept these because they were sentimental to her. As a result, my dad and his siblings couldn't decide whether or not to throw them away, they were faced with feelings of, "this meant a lot to Mom, and Mom meant a lot to me so wouldn't it be disrespectful to throw them out?" Whereas, of they had been labeled to be tossed, they would not have had those feelings. There are lots of things that mean something to each of us in this life, let's not burden our kids with them, put a post it on it that says "to be thrown away after I'm gone." So beautifully simple! And the best part is, if the item actually means something to your child, they can just disregard the note! 😊
I hadn't been one to get a storage unit before, just lived with a cluttered home, despite decluttering a lot. Anyway, I started boxing and labeling things like I was planning to move, but without urgency so everything is organized and labeled by contents, not room. If we never get to moving, or that stuff stays in storage till I'm no more, at least it won't be as hard to get rid of or go thru. As it was, unorganized clutter in my house, it would be harder. So far most of them are books I don't want to sell but also aren't going to read for a long time if ever. :shrugs:
@@mom2artists every little bit of order helps. You're right, what you have done already adds ease. As for books, I never get rid of them. I keep them to pass on.
I would feel like I disrespected them by keeping something with a note to discard. I probably wouldn’t want to go through it, to preserve their privacy.
I was thinking about putting colored stickers underneath the item. So a blue dot sticker could mean that the item has family history but the person is still free to do whatever they want. I could log the blue dot items in a notebook and give the background history of the item. A green dot sticker could mean the item can be tossed or donated without any concern. This would be the majority of the things in the home, they would be green dots. Red dot means the item may have some monetary value and maybe they can try and sell.
You nailed this video. You had us laughing and you had us crying. Felt all the feels while learning how to tackle death cleaning. It’s all about freedom to live, and let others live. Thanks Ariel.💗
I am 65, and started decluttering 4 years ago. The feeling/urge to declutter hit me without my knowing anything about SDC. My home feels so much more livable now, but almost everyday I manage to toss out something still. I love the echos in the rooms.
There is definitely something in the air with this decluttering. I'm the same, all the way down here in Australia. I'd rather declutter than do just about anything at this point! I've been at it for a while and just want it down to a manageable load.
Nah, I've things in my life I really love doing. Wouldn't sacrifice them on the altar of "death cleaning'. Give me a break. Some decluttering...at any age...yes.
@kathrynB261 it's not about chucking out things you still use and love. You're not dead yet. Decluttering and minimalism are different things, and can be different tings to different people. I still have all my hobbies. The point is to get rid of anything unnecessary so you have room and time for those things. How much you declutter might depend on how much you've accumulated and inherited from others. Maybe you don't have that much unnecessary stuff already. In that case no one has to get rid of things they love.
I use to volunteer at a thrift store. We received so many donations from family members of a deceased relative. So many of them were overwhelmed with trying to figure out what to do with it all. I also find that we tend to over value our things. This is by thinking we can get more money than what it is actually worth. So instead of either blessing someone else or selling it for a reasonable price, we sit on it. Then someday our families are left to deal with it all. That is something I really liked with that book it forced you to deal with reality., let go, and enjoy the present.
As a swede, I can tell you that until about a year ago, I had never heard the term Swedish death cleaning. 😅 But I had practised it. And I know that a lot of swedes that do. Although most of our home is usually filled with junk we should have gotten rid of several years ago, just like everybody elses. It is something that has become more and more popular here as well, and after having cleaned a house from a loved one that passed away, I am really into i. Thank you for this video, and for all your videos. I always have you as my companion when I am doing a long cleaning in my home. 🥰♥️
I am an old Grandma and love your videos. But now at this stage in my life, some of my "things" bring me comfort. I don't want to clean out/off/dispose of things that someone else will have to when I get a boost from looking at them, using them, etc. I told my loved ones just to call 1800 GOT JUNK because it only means something to me. There really isn't that much because I am good at decluttering in general. For example, I have a box of my grown children's baby clothes, one box, and my mother knitted some things for them that the daughter in law didn't want. No one else will want those things and they will go to a dump so they can go after me!
It sounds like you already have done the death cleaning work. Of course you shall keep the things you love and that holds memories. No-one is allowed to say otherwise. I too love my memory stuff and keep all things that makes me fussy to see/feel/hold. It helps me remember my happy moments.
I believe the book says to do what you are doing as well. You should keep what comforts you let go of what doesn't and make arrangements for what you have. I understand you're also supposed to put notes under things saying what they are so when family cleans stuff out they know what it is
Giving your family permission to just dump things also releases them from feeling the need to hold onto stuff cuz it was important to you. That helps them out a lot too.
For the kids, I got a wooden trunk for each of them, to keep things for them when they grow up. Like a memory box. Their favorite toy, they favorite outfit, and will give it to them when they get married or move out. They will decide if they want to throw it away or not. Everything else, I donate or throw out.
This! I kept a few things. Don’t have kids, but a neighborhood girl saw the Breyer horse I had on my shelf and her eyes lit up. Gave it too her and was glad to see it found its home. I think choosing a box for sentimental items and filling it thoughtfully is the way to go.
We have a keepsake box for each child as well. They pull it out a couple times a year to look through. Back in the day girls would have hope chests as well to keep the things they’d make or receive for the future homes. This could be a good idea for things like dishes or blankets that are in good condition.
Another suggestion, go through those photos and label everyone in them. If you believe they are not of interest to your kids, find the family of the person in them and offer them to them. I have started to do that, I inherited the family collection, and they have all been received with pleasure.
I did my so-called SDC 6 years ago (at the right time - 'they' say when you turn about 60 or 70 years old, it will hit you - naturally. I got my call at 65. It was fun, sad, exciting - but a lot of work. Took about a year and a half. However, when I moved recently I realized I still had a ways to go. So I guess I'm doing it again. Don't wait too long though - it's a lot of work and if you get too old you won't have the energy to accomplish your goal. I was surprised how much I was able to cart away back then, but this time it's a lot harder!
Thank you for the laughs & for sharing this. I'm an only child with no children & had to clean, sort & get rid of 50+ years worth of items just before & after my mum passed away 4 years ago. It was extremely overwhelming, upsetting & both physically & emotionally difficult. After doing this my whole perspective/mindset on owning/storing items changed & I decluttered & am still decluttering anything that doesn't serve me. Please don't leave the sorting & clearing of your stuff for your kids & family to sort when you're gone, it will benefit them in the future & you right now ❤️
Growing up, I worked in my family's auction business. I've seen enough houses stuffed with junk to realize that I don't want to leave anything for my kids that makes them say "why did she keep THIS?"
My parents did this a few years ago and downsized to an apartment. I'm so grateful to them! They both suffered some pretty significant health issues a couple of years ago and it made it easier to focus on them vs. worrying about how they would get around a two-story house while recovering.
My dad and step mom moved into a condo and we did a big purge of their house. 15 years later, they have accumulated so much stuff in their condo. They do not want to let go.
Why am I crying over an orange dinosaur I just met???!!??? Great job because I couldn’t have thrown it! I saved my son’s baby lovey and he remembers it. But I limit myself to ONE box of momentos. ❤
My parents are cleaning out my grandma’s house even though she is still living. It’s been time consuming because they are going through their stuff, my brother and sister in law’s stuff (military and moved to Germany for tour), some of the 3 other kids stuff. They are selling the house they practically built up on. I told my mom good thing they are doing it now because they have my other grandma’s house to clear out when she passes as well. Thankfully they are making good progress and preparing it for selling. Please clean up and get rid of in your 40s-50s while you still can as Swedish death cleaning describes. It helps your family and makes life easier for them as they grieve. Thanks Ariel for reminding me to purge in my house again. 😉
I did this for my folks, when my mom died and when my dad went into assisted living, and then for myself when we moved away after it all. I always donate to nonprofit thrift stores, whether or not we are moving. Now that I'm volunteering at one all the time, I donate on a regular basis.
I've heard plenty about "The Gentle Art of Sweedish Death Cleaning" from other RUclipsrs, but you're the first who's made me actually want to read the book myself. She sounds great! :)
I’m 62 and have started giving my ‘real’ jewelry to my daughters now! I don’t wear it much anymore and they can either wear it, reset it or sell it!! I loved this book and my hope is to have my belongings down to one days worth of thought for my kids. 👍🏻
Thank you for sharing this! I have been trying to declutter but I still have a more to do. I am saving some sentimental stuff for last. I am going to read the book for more inspiration. My mom is 83. She has been declutterring her home over the past several years. At first it seemed sad she was getting rid of her stuff but I truly think she is doing it so I won’t have as much to clean out. I am thankful she is doing this. I have a 73 year old cousin who should start doing this. His house is packed full of stuff. 😕
As a Swede, I can't wait to watch this! I usually do a death clean once a year (I'm 36), and go over to make sure my papers and stuff are in order. Some might say it's young but really, if I got hit by a car tomorrow I'd like to know I did that for those I left behind.
I agree with your point that this needs to be done because anything can happen. I started it at 50 when I realised that my step child most likely to deal with things if God forbid something happened to both me and my husband, would pretty much chuck everything out including my family stuff for our child, his younger half sibling who is not yet 18. And frankly I wouldn't blame them, it's up to me to leave things clearly labelled and organised.
You always bring a smile to my face🥰 I cleaned out my childhood home that my parents lived in for over 40 years. Both of my parents grew up during the Great Depression. I found receipts for bills marked paid that were 39 years old, over 50 full sets of sheets and just as many sets of towels. News flash - your kids will not want all the artwork they did in Kindergarten, especially because nothing that was glued together will survive intact. Oh, and please save your kids the trauma of finding all their baby teeth that the Tooth Fairy collected🫣I’ve cleaned out four houses of friends and family, and I’ve vowed not to make friends with any more old people - the risk of having to clean out another house is too high a price to pay😳Please - death clean ASAP💀💀💀 Many thanks Ariel - keep your videos coming💕💜💕
I love this concept! I read the book when it just came out, and followed it, but after my mom passed it took over 6 months to clear out her house! There were some gems, but it was mostly junk! It was a huge burden on my family. Death Cleaning is what has me purging my journals every couple of years. I revisit them and then let them go, and it's a huge burden off of me!
I gave my mom this book and offered to help. It has been a wonderful experience in our family. My mom still makes choices based on this book. This is the mindset we need to have throughout life. Outdoor birds love cat fountains.
Just one point about the dvds. While yes, like 99% of the stuff we have on dvd can be found on a streaming service, if you are an odd duck like me and have movies that are harder to find, that still spark joy (yes, konmari method) then don't be afraid to keep them. So yes, I still own dvds, and even a few vhs tapes but that's mostly because I know they'd be twice as hard to replace if I wanted to watch them again. And yes, I do watch them.😅😊
I also think that when we die someone else is going to have to sort all our stuff anyway. So if we do it now then we get to enjoy the extra space, calm and peace of mind now while we're still alive! 💕💓💞
My declutter journey started when I was fired from my last job in my 60s. The firing is a long story and not relevant here, but with the time to do it, I think I started in the attic and worked my way down to the cellar. Eleven years later, it is still a work in progress, but we have a lot fewer things we weren't using. You have mentioned before that it is not a one event job. Once you start, you start to notice other things, other areas where you could do a better job. I think we probably still have over 300,000 items, (I do crafts and sew, and my husbands has lots of tools etc.)so we will continue to work on this, but our kids will definitely be happy that we have cleaned out a lot when the day comes!
I have been stressed out by the clutter and the unfinished ‘projects’ I thought I would pursue in my retirement. Diminishing health has taken its toll. I decided recently that I am not going to spend my available remaining ‘free time’ sorting through / giving away things that indeed , no one else will want, but will enjoy the things I have around me till I am dead , and fully acknowledge that my dear ones can keep what they want, sell it ( not likely ) or just cart it off to Value Village or the dump. I spent enough years looking after them so I don’t feel guilty anymore. As the saying goes, ‘ live long enough to be a problem to your children ‘ 😂😅😊
This was your first video I've watched and loved your editing style😅. As for the cleaning - yes yes! My mom has been doing this after losing both her parents 4 and 2 years ago. Her experience with their items made her realize she didn't want us to deal with it. She's also already gifting sentimental pieces instead of waiting till she's gone for the family to enjoy them. It's very thoughtful and sweet.
It's hard to declutter and it's different for everyone, when you mentioned the sea shells from an adult that collected them as a kid, i'd love to get that from my mom, picturing her collecting them as a child. and my grandma is now in a nursing home and we are all picking out things that we remember the most using or loving as children at her place. i sometimes think about this in todays world we declutter everything and things don't last as long also, when i go to my dads i remember all of the cups from my childhood, but my kids won't ever remember any specific cups when they are adults because i've either decluttered them all or they all broke and we constantly got new ones... it's kind of sad ... so I try to at least have a few things that i wont ever declutter. I have a wooden clock that has storage inside that i bought when i was a teenager myself, that is something i hope they will love and remember when they are adults. i hope there are more items like that in my home that i just can't think of right now
I read this book many years ago and we started cleaning- we (meaning I more than hubby) was ruthless. As I went through things, I became sad and mad- sad about letting go of things that had great memories but no longer being used or useful and mad at myself for all the items we donated - I was mad that I bought all of this stuff and did t think twice about tossing it in a bin never to be seen again for a very long time. We are empty nesters, so we asked our children if they wanted any of the furniture (no), any kitchen items (no), any decor (they each fought over the seasonal/holiday decor until Dad started mediating, and what they made when children went to them directly), tools- my husband had so many repeats that he was able to send home a full rolling tool box to our son and 2 sons-in-law and still had double of things. That was phase 1. Phase 2, about 4 years later and accumulating again, we needed to refresh a bedroom, so, we totally emptied it and brought everything g to the garage, after fixing walls, sanding floors, painting and laying an area rug (which I already had but rolled up in storage), we only brought back 4 items- bed, dresser, 2 night stands, after 2 weeks, i put up blinds and curtain, I brought in 2 sets of summer sheets and 2 sets of flannel sheets along with 2 linen duvet’s- one with no comforter in it for a bedspread and the other with a comforter would be pulled out in the cold months and folded at the end of the bed, 2 sets of bath sheets and washcloths- all stored in the closet (each bed has 4 sleeping pillows on them along 2 pillows with shams); again, a week later, I added a few pictures on the walls, a tv and lamps and one chair in the corner next to the dresser- that’s it- we donated a bench, 6 sets of sheets, 7 sets of bath sheets and washcloths, more decor, clothes not being worn that was in the dresser, an area rug and an extra mirror I no longer liked- that was just 1 bedroom, the other 2 bedrooms had more and we did the same thing to them and we were ruthless about getting rid of clothes in all rooms but especially our master closet, dresser and chest of drawers (the chest of drawers now holds our 2 sets of sheets and 2 sets of towels for each of us), our closet looks bare compared to the before and after 6 years it still looks bare but it only has clothes we actually wear year round. We did this type of purge over a year with every single room in our house- one room at a time- the kitchen last. We not only donated furniture, but dishware, multiple sets of pots and pans and bakeware, serve ware and serving dishes, flatware, small appliances “we must have” that were rarely used, placemats, cloth napkins and tablecloths. When we emptied the kitchen, I kept one cast iron skillet, 2 small pots and a Dutch oven, 2 cookie sheets, a muffin tin and 2 bread pans, 1 spatula, 1 serated and 1 regular cooking spoon, one set of flatware, 4 glasses, 2 coffee mugs and 4 plates and bowls, 1 platter; as I worked in the kitchen and needed something I didn’t keep in it with the “purge”, I would go out to the garage and get that item- I brought in all my HexClad cook set, 2 more cast iron skillets and Dutch oven, 1 more muffin tin, 2 more baking sheets, 3 casserole pans, a stoneware pizza pan, the round cake pan set, a rectangular cake pan and a brownie pan, crockpot, InstaPot, toaster, a few more cooking spoon items, a toaster, my KitchenAid stand mixer, my Ninja IQ Blender, my immersion blender, Ninja pod coffee maker and a regular drip coffee pot (taken out when we have a crowd because pods are pricey), my grandmother’s spun aluminum canister set and 2 sets of glass storage snap ware sets and the complete set of dishware that matched what we kept initially. We got rid of 2 kitchens worth of things (pots/pans sets, bakeware sets, extra dishware sets and drinkware, small appliances and gadgets, etc), which we donated to 2 very young g newlywed couples (they also took most of the excess furniture, sheet sets and bath towels and some decor). After we did “the purge”, what we thought was too small a house had a lot more storage and functionality, so, we didn’t sell our house to move to a larger one just to fit all of our “stuff” we are still in our 1200 sqft home and have no plans to move or add on, just renovate.
I wish I had someone like you give us furniture when I got married. We were broke college students in 2012. All we had was a dresser, bed and a cheep rolling cart for a nightstand a d a desk. All the furniture was mine my folks hauled to arizona for me bless em. I had to buy alot of things like a new can opener, vaccume, garbage bins, and dishes cause my husband's set broke. We didn't have a sofa either , our first sofa was a dumpster dive double recliner that smelled of smoke and out coffee table was a out door patio table with holes that was rusted...
@@HosCreates I remember those early days of our marriage 41 years ago! The one thing I have learned, is that the $$$ you spent on all the stuff/the thirst to accumulate, was lost at the cash register and really not able to ever recoup it let alone the wasted emotional energy from trying to find a place for it, using g it to justify the purpose and then shoving it in a closet or bin for years. Do t get caught up in it- the accumulation, the “must have”, the next best thing” or the “if only I could have …. I would be happy” - it’s not worth it! And we had no desire to post anything on Marketplace or any other site to sell the stuff we wanted gone- the entire point of decluttering is to remove the stuff from the premises not hold on to it on the chance it might sell for way less than the pain of the original purchase and storing it until it would sell. I think that’s where the constant “decluttering” comes from- 1. trying to sell it and keeping it around 2. Or the “just in case I need it later” 3. Or the sentimental value but where it’s shoved away. We all fall into those cycles and Swedish Death Cleaning helps pull us out of it.
@@HosCreateswhen my husband & I started we had a futon (no frame) that was given us The guy who gifted it asked for it back in a few weeks, changed his mind I’m not joking We only had a seat at all becuz a loveseat had been left in the apt No tables or chairs of any sort, no closet anywhere, no tv, no dresser, no shelves. I put up brown paper bags in the door window as I had no curtain and it was huge. There was a huge front window also that looked right thru the French doors into our bedrm. The first thing I spent any $ on in the next 3 days was fabric to tack up over that window! It was hideous but dark so ppl couldn’t look in anymore (street level). I don’t even know where I found the $3 to buy the fabric. We had no gas $ even & only ate becuz I had foodstamps.
I disagree entirely and here's why. I would have kept it BECAUSE I have him in photos playing with it so much. Had it been a 5 ft dinasaur, maybe not, but such a small item would have been kept. 😊
We found your video today while we were in the ER. 🤣😂🤣 You were so spot on. No one died but it was a great attention getter for be ready. Todd said he is coming g to your funeral real if there is ice cream!!! It has taken 15 years to clean out my mamaw’s house. She was a child of the depression and kept all kinds of things. I did get my momma a copy of the book. My parents have 3 houses!!! I do not want to have to clear that much. My momma looked very similar to yours in the video before I explained. 😂🤣😂
Oh Wendy I hope everything is okay?? I've been so busy this week that I still haven't had a chance to finish listening to your video message. Make sure to keep me updated!
This is great. My Dad has had several strokes, he let his rental property be completely destroyed with dog poop and pee, garbage everywhere, roaches, mice, etc. to where almost nothing was even usable. We had to work for weeks to get it cleaned out & had to throw most everything out. Now he’s living in a Motel. He stayed with us for several months but I became too much - both my sister and I have young children. He is very hard headed and wants everything his way. Anyway, if he would have taken care of things we wouldn’t have to do all of this. I’m doing this slowly to my own home. Thanks for sharing 😊
You are honestly the best video editor all around. Your videos are hilarious and informational and editing is something I wouldn't typically notice but yours is so professionally and intentionally done that elevates your message. Great job!
Wow! I really enjoyed this video! As a young adult I didn't had a feeling of home. I moved alot and wanted to go on a long hike. So I got rid of everything. Only left were two boxes with paper stuff you mustn't throw away and one backpack with clothes. No bed, no furniture, nothing left. And now living in an apartment, I still don't like to have a lot of things. Every few weeks I find something that I can let go of. My room is not sterile, it's cozy. Everything has a place, I know where to find my stuff. It's always clean, no need to tidy up, because I know where these things belong. Thank you for sharing this method and your progress with us 😊
My brother had the luckiest story ever-that part is unrelated but his neighbor knew she had cancer and her kids lived in Alaska, so she literally gave him her house! He actually took over her mortgage, but still, it was like $50k for almost 3000 square feet and a garage. His mortgage is less than mine and I have half the house. But this woman was actually pretty well off and had anything and everything she possibly wanted. She had also rented it out at one point, so there were TWO full kitchens. And she was a prepper. One of her kids did come for a little bit to help and take things that mattered to her, but that wasn't much, especially since she lives in Alaska. This super, super lucky thing became a huge problem, especially since they really didn't know each other THAT wol. He was giving things to everyone he knew and gave tons to Goodwill. He's been there over three years and there are still things of hers that they don't actually use.
Being much older than you, I am definitely going thru this process. Have cleared a couple houses after my parents passed. One thing I have left my children with is all my belongings served me in my life. If they bring no actual value to them, move it along! No guilt!
Great work Ariel!!! I'm not going to lie, I even got a little emotional when you showed all the pictures of your son with his dinosaur. I found so much encouragement to try this!
I’m 66 and my health has been a challenge after getting COVID 4 times. I’ve been getting rid of everything personal. I’ve gotten rid of everything. Pictures. Momento’s. Notes. My writings. I don’t miss anything. The only things my family will have left are essentials and all of my prepping food and garden seed collection. It’s their inheritance because it’s worth a lot.
I love the content. Now i have something to say about the format: naming the channel The Awkward Mom and editing and scripting it like a 2009 video is *chefs kiss* Love it.
8:25 - 9:17 Ooooph, I felt that. Great advice though. And I think think the sooner we realise we no longer need/use/get enjoyment from an item the way we once did, and the sooner we part with it, the easier it is. (And the more likely they get to be passed on to someone who will use and enjoy them while they're still in a fit state, and not caked in decades of dust!) It may sound silly, but I often give the possestions I'm donating a last "thank you, farewell" pat/hug/kiss before popping them into the donation box.
I LOVE your videos. I have done my "death cleaning". To be honest, I do it a few times a year. But there's one (In my case, hundreds) item that I'll NEVER part with, EVER. They are my DVD'S. I'm known to be a movie FANATIC and it would be awful for my family to see I got rid of them. All my children are movie fans, too. I'll let them decide to keep, sell or throw away. Thank you for another great video! ❤
Great video!! I started Swedish Death cleaning when I retired 3 years ago. Still doing it, asking kids if they want anything before I get rid of it, starting today my Fall Cleaning ala death cleaning. It is good to see the house having less stuff, neat drawers, space in cupboards. Glad that you added Robyn to this. I ❤ her too!
I think about and bring up Swedish Death cleaning a lot. My inlaws are hosts with the mosts. But also the most stuff. They're VERY organized people but it's a garage and like 5 sheds. Just to keep up with holiday decor and summer activities. It's so wonderful they can afford this lifestyle but my husband and I have discussed when is a good time to have this convo with them. Especially since literally none of us daughters/inlaws have the same styles of home decor. They're healthy, thank the Lord, but no one needs that much stuff.
Good heavens !! five sheds?! 😳 yesh! Tell them that they should be thinking about what happens to their stuff if placed in a memory care facility and how exspensive they are and how they could sell some items while they have value to put away for their care
I am totally into this! I hate clutter and long to have a place for everything. The problem is my husband,son and daughter all have …hoarding tendencies, I guess you could say. I’m not quite sure what to do when my mental health needs order and theirs requires never getting rid of anything. Great video done with humor as we’ve come to expect from you😂
I hear you. It sometimes takes awhile to get your family members on board with decluttering. I focused on getting rid of my things and also household items that I felt that I could make decisions about because no one else would really care if I got rid of the item or not. As I went room by room, closet by closet, I consolidated the excess crap they were hanging onto and put it into ONE room -in our case the "bonus room" and grouped each of their belongings by owner for them to go through "later". At one point, that room looked like an overwhelming, hoarded mess but it also gave them a very clear visual picture of the excess clutter that they had. Slowly but surely they have been letting go of things. I don't know why it's such a hard process for some people, but it is.
Am I the only one who cried with the dinosaur? I remember hearing about SDC I think before or after my mom past, but I didn't have the opportunity to fully process closing up the life we shared. Thank you for the video (and others), it is something I've brought up to my friends over the years. I'm not a mommy, but I am a wife and a life of 16 years with my husband I've been systematically purging over the years. Love your videos. ❤
@@jenniferpearce1052 I kept toys my kids cherished hoping a grandchild would love them, like their parent did. Finally let them go. They were too old, out of style, my kids felt no sentimental attachment to them. One of my kids did go through his things to see if any were worth anything online. Much lighter now.
@@pama.6410 my mom has just put some of our stuffed toys in a bag for donations, my nephew is almost 18 and didn't play with them as he lives in another continent and my daughter is almost 10 and has shown no interest in those toys for years. It's time to let go.
You are very entertaining and….motivating. Thank you for being motivating. I’m trying over here. After losing my business in 2020, I kept a bunch of filing cabinets with papers that I could finally get rid of. Called the shredding company and going to put four filing cabinets up to get rid of on whatever platform gets results. Also downsized in 2020 to a house half the size of the previous house. It’s been a journey! I watch your video for reaffirmation. Thank you.
Ariel, you are one of my favourite RUclips leaders! You keep it real... you inject humor and fun... I just love that you keep going and trying new ways to make your family's home better. Blessings! ❤
Instead of people keeping everything for loved ones to go through and divide after they’re gone they could put together a memory box or keepsake box for each person and then let the rest go or do what my grandmother did and put names on specific things they want to leave to each person. My aunt and her siblings did a lottery with their father’s things. Everyone would draw a number and decide to keep or pass on the matching item and everything that was left over was divided or discarded. No arguing, no fighting and we actually had fun
There was a period of my life in late college/early independence that I was moving either every year or every other year. I know it was the thing that pushed into my head "don't want it, don't use it, def don't wanna move it." I think there's a lot of generational learned "but you might need..." too, as my grandparents did The Great Depression and WW2 and couldn't just go out and replace things. I know my mom is a little better but that feeling of wastefulness still hits her hard. She's made so much progress in ten years! The collecting is a lot easier when you are finally in your own home, but I still hate tripping over things we don't use, and we're a lot happier when we've got space to actually enjoy the things we DO use.
I’m almost 60 n have never been able to just go out n replace ANYthing I have a few things I’ve regretted cleaning out/donating but never anything I’ve regretted keeping.
I purge clean every year. Last year though, I began Swedish death cleaning. I am still young and strong enough to consciously do this. I think of my siblings when I Swedish Death clean. If something should happen to me, I want my place to be cleared out w minimum effort.
We were lucky. Our parents downsized from our childhood home to a smaller one and got rid of a lot! Then cleaned out again when they went to assisted living. In the end there was only mom's favorite items left. My motto is- when done with an item or you don't need it let it go. Do not throw things down in the basement, shove in a closet or toss up into the attic. Also, pick a day- spring?- to declutter once a year. Ask yourself- did I use or need this at all this year? Ask your kids if they want what you have saved from their childhood. No? Well toss & get rid of it. Good Luck!
i've been telling my momms to start dealing with my Granni's low-level hoarding + clutter for years. + she says she needs to then does nothing, doesn't help me, or even try to encourage my Granni to do better. this video helped me decide i'm not helping when it's time to clear her home. we could be dealing with this over time. i'm not gonna feel guilty when my mom is the only one doing it in a rush//under pressure. thank you for this.
I did this a few years ago and will continue to do it every few years as my life evolves. It's a very effective mindset. I told my kids there is nothing they need to hold onto unless they want to. There is nothing precious. Open the door and let it all go. I want them to have permission to let my things go. My things are not me.
A few years back, I had to clean out my parent's home. My mother had a lot of things that she loved and enjoyed using. It broke my heart to have to let most of her things go. The grandkids didn't want most of it as they had no relationship with those items, my brothers and I already had overflowing home. We kept a few things but my folks had two full sheds and a home full of memories. I have started on my home and have got most of it done. I am at the photograph stage. This has been taking months because I love pictures of the family and I am having a hard time only keeping the best of the best.
This book is magical! And it’s not really morbid… There’s really quite a bit of humor in there! Download the audiobook from your library for free… Sit back… And take in the philosophy! It’s really good!
We have an informal arrangement where I live where we put unwanted, unsaleable but could still be useful, items by the gate or on the wall - old tins of paint, plant pots, odd plates, jam jars etc - they usually get picked up pretty quickly.
Hello my beautiful friend, Ariel. I am surprised at how much your Mini-Me has grown! She looks more and more like her beautiful mommy. Your son looks so adorable playing with his dinosaur. I still have great memories of him attacking the world with the feather duster. He has grown into such a handsome boy. Your hubby is pretty awesome, too, and your mom is, too. I was amazed to see how many donation bags you got through so quickly. I will need to try this. I'm not doing too well at cleaning or decluttering because I can't get over strep throat. I will need to make some jalapeno chicken soup tomorrow. Love love love you. Hope to see you and your beautiful family soon. 💋
Buying this book for my mother-in-law. I’ve already had to clean out my father’s house and my mother’s house who were both hoarders. I don’t wanna have another house to clean out after she passes away. And then I am reading the book for myself.😂
Have you watched any of Midwest Magic Cleaning's videos? He goes into hoarder houses - WITH the owner's permission. I love his compassion and ability to explain about the mental illness.
Oh my goodness! this is going to change my life! You have no idea how much I needed this! I've sent this to my mom as well. She needs it more than I do! Thank you and I love your humor. You are amazing.
This is so good! One summer I finally asked my grown kids if they wanted to keep or go through all the bins of their old things, artwork, school papers, clothes I, not they, had saved and they had no interest in the items AT ALL. I realized it was my collection, not theirs! I went through it and kept very little, like one bin out of 40 bins. Much of it was time deteriorated. I wish I had done the sorting and decisions as stuff came into the house, or at least every year but at least it is done now! I wish I had donated the clothes before time and heat destroyed them, especially elastic.
Yes! This is the problem with hoarding Others could be using it! I try hard to give with a person in mind Single mom Boy who’s dad just died Child taking care of elderly parent Family in crisis with nothing to their name College student Crafter Immigrant family Kid with learning disability Etc etc etc Who could USE my dusty thing?
8:53 As someone with a tote full of baby toys and no babies... I let loose a few tears:( Keep the dino!!! I might not be ready for this type of cleaning LOL!
I remember reading a comment on a video having to do with clearing out a deceased parent's house. The person said that their parent had an overwhelming amount of possessions to the point where they had to rent a dumpster just to clear out the broken, useless worn out things in the house. As bad as the main level was, she was so dreading the attic which, the last time she had seen it, was filled from floor to ceiling with dusty boxes, old furniture and wide assortment of unused things that had just been tossed up there over the decades. She steeled herself one day and opened the attic door....and there was nothing up there. Not a thing. She remembered how she cried realizing that her mom had loved her enough to get rid of that stuff. That really made an impression on me. We have to love our kids enough to do this for ourselves so that our kids won't have to.
😊🙏🏼
What a precious gift❤
This one really makes me happy. Ma got to do that task within her own terms.
And energy level.
And timeline.
And if she only wanted to deal with it for half an hour then quit for the day, that's what she did with nobody on the sidelines urging her against her will, to "Just POWER THROUGH! We can see the finish line!" Because maybe that didn't feel good to her in that moment; people tend to think eryone always feels the same as they do about everything. Uhh... WE DON'T!!
Thank you for sharing. I love this story.💕
Imagine if cleaning is hard for us, what a difficult task it would be for our loved ones once we are gone. It is selfish in some way. I think this should be in our to do list, decluter one drawer, at least once a week.
We had a sale of my dad's workshop where he had all kinds of electrical gauges and gizmos. During the sale a young man with the exact body type ,ginger hair and engineer glint in his eyes, just like my dad! He was holding several cases of gauges and was thrilled! Obviously from the same planet as dad!. It made me really happy to know my dad would have been happy to see the prized gizmos go to someone who would also cherish them.
Great. I would have loved that, too. ❤
@@vsee2207 I would have given him the whole lot!
LOL They were probably worth a fortune! That glint was what the sound "ka-ching!" looks like!!😅
We who spend a life gathering these “treasures” ALL hope there is someone out there who will treasure them as we did. This young man is lucky and your father is happy. 😊
It does feel good to pass valued items along. My husband passed 5 years ago and when I moved, I downsized. I was able to give away and/or sell everything I didn’t want, and I only donated 1 pick-up truck of things.
I'm in the middle of bearing this burden. My mom is in the nursing home and I get the job of clearing out her house, filled with absolutely everything. She never threw anything away, including junk mail and receipts. Tons of pictures,cards, letters. Everything we ever made at school. Everything from all 5 of her husbands and even stuff from their kids and exes. More stuff than you can possibly imagine. People!! Please do this for your loved ones!!!
My heart goes out to you
@@stephanied6711 thank you
You can do this! Slowly. Just take your time and always think the good times with her while you cleaned up. This helps me tremendously while I'm cleaning my mum's house.
I'm sorry.
Completely agreed! I am also in the middle of clearing my mother’s house too in anticipation of her moving to a nursing home. I’m an only child who is 38 with two small children and lives in a foreign country. To say it is difficult to find time to go through the mountains of stuff is a gross understatement. I BEG YOU DO THIS NOW DON’T LEAVE IT FOR YOUR CHILDREN!
Good luck to both of us!!
As an only child...yes please declutter but also dont forget to live! Its ok to have a home with things you love.
Yes big difference between having a home with things you love and care about and having a home full of junk floor to door knobs or higher
As an only child,😢 who are you going to be leaving your stuff too? I am both single and have no children. I have one brother but I don't have any nieces or nephews. I hope this isn't too personal of a question if it is just let me know and I will completely understand.
Thanks for that!
I know I have a lot of "useless junk" but also stuff I just like having around me. Stuff like crystal and Hummels, and books, and certain collections... that others would call clutter. I don't think the new spare (Scandi-ish) clean look is for everyone. Maybe I'll designate that the Hummels be sold and the $$ donated to a specific Charity, since I'm pretty sure my kid or nieces/nephews wdnt be interested. BUT THEY'RE SO CUTE!!
I’ve got stuff I use occasionally boxed up and labeled. My kids know there’s no good jewelry hidden, no cash hidden, no stock certificates. When I die, they can point the Got Yunk guys to what goes into the truck for the charity shop, and what goes into their autos to take home. If they need cash they’ll be able to sell stuff like you did.
I feel like I’ve accomplished a hybrid solution - and it does give great peace of mind.
@@tracishafer9190I'll declutter as much as I can and then leave the content of the house to one charity and the house to another, that way they have to fight over it
I want my kids to gather together after my funeral and talk about how awkward a mama I was, not curse me because of all the work ahead of them bc of all my crap. I am only 51, but I have decluttered sooo much unnecessary stuff. Thanks for your great encouragement!!!
Here here!
Same. I’m 58 and my husband is 61… we’ve been getting rid of stuff. Went thru Hell cleaning out my parents and grand parents house in the same year ! Ugh
❤❤❤🎉
Same!
lol.. my children do that already!!.. lol.. I’ve beaten cancer.. however it’s really made me think about everything that I’ve gathered up..
I cleaned under my sink and discovered a leaky pipe and black mold. Decluttering can save us from dying....literally. My mom saved some of my school projects. After she died, I found them and missed her. Watching this video reminded me of that. Thank you.♥️
Same!!
This IS a great idea. One word of caution, though, about ditching dvd's: if it's a show/movie that you love and know you will watch again (and again, and again . . . ) I say keep the dvd, and here's why: while it's true that you can find a whole lot of shows and movies on the various streaming platforms, note that not only can they possibly have every show/movie you might want to see, but they also cycle things out, so even if you can find it on Netflix today, 2 years from now when you really want to watch it, there's a good chance they won't still have it available. So if you have favorites, or hard-to-find shows, keep the dvd. You probably won't have that many, and you could always keep them all in one place so they'll be easy to find and declutter before you move to the old folks home.
I keep DVDs and only gotten rid of the ones I no longer want to watch.
I agree, we have a modest DVD collection by early 2000s standards, but it probably seems huge to others these days. We went through them when we moved last year and kept quite a lot, because we do watch them! And yes many of them are movies and shows you can't get any more.
In fact we had VHS tapes, but our player (which i don't think we'd plugged in for about a decade 😂) was eating the tapes, so we had to find a couple of movies on DVD through a specialist online shop to replace the tapes we couldn't use anymore.
Even just condensing the DVDs to a CD case and tossing the plastic box is a huge improvement in square footage!
But it's when I'm in the old folks home I want to watch them...😅🙄
Also you can watch a dvd if the internet is down and in my area it goes down frequently.
I have a four bedroom house. My late husband was a hoarder, he filled three rooms with computers and related paraphernalia and so many other things, there was no space to walk around in these rooms. He never wanted to throw away anything.
He passed away in 2014, it took me six months to clear the rooms. I learned a valuable lesson to throw/give/sale stuff, so my busy adult children won’t need to spend months clearing up my house when I die.
If it took you 6 months, you are a hoarder as well. Just admit it.
@@carollynt why am I a hoarder? I cleared three bedrooms on my own without anybody’s help. I was 65, it wasn’t easy to bring down the heavy items from upstairs, and I didn’t do that for eight hours everyday. It was hard and tiring work, so I cleared for two hours each day. Made 20+ trips to the rubbish dump to recycle the stuff.
Know the difference between a hoarder and the one who has to deal with the accumulated hoard.
@@DVB1848 ignorant the other commenter. They are probably just a troll. 💓
My paternal grandmother was married to a hoarder as well.She had to smuggle expired food out of the basement that he forgot about😢. I feel sorry i couldnt help her as I imagined my tiny light little 5'2" Grandma who was tiny lugging #10 cans up the steep basement stairs in her 70s after having a quadruple bypass in her 60s
@@DVB1848I understand this completely, I have a friend who has taken 2 years to clear out her mother's things. It's an emotional and very tough situation. Hope your OK. And well done for getting to the end of it.
I'm 63 and did my "Swedish Death Cleaning" five years ago, and it feels awesome.
If, for whatever reason, my time were to come tomorrow (which I highly doubt, as I'm very healthy), my daughter could hire a stranger to remove the current stuff I'm using. There's nothing of value to her.
If anything I owned was meaningful to her, she already has it in her possession.
It makes me feel peaceful.
Thank you for the content. 🙌💟
So you deprived yourself of all the things important TO YOU,
so that your kids have not to deal with it?
That is ridiculous!
Never gonna happen.
@@Mandara1847 i think you misread the comment. She doesn't have anything of value to her daughter. So if she died tomorrow, her daughter wouldn't have to go through her things, she could just send it all to charity or sell it.
I told a dying relative to give important things away while she was still living so she could have the joy of seeing their appreciation. It didn’t happen.
@@claremiller9979 That is not the point!
I do not keep stuff to make my childen happy by inheriting.
I hold it, because it makes ME happy!
And if that means, after my unfortunate demise has to clear up my belongings, well, that is as it is.
Just to „lighten someone‘s burden“, I do not deprive myself of things that bring ME joy.
As I wrote before - being terminally ill is another story!
@Mandara1847 I'm pretty sure she's still keeping the things that bring her joy, the point is that nothing she currently has is something that her daughter would want to inherit: her daughter already has all that stuff. Like the house is devoid of things that make her children happy, and only has stuff that makes HER happy.
I need to do this with my home. After my FIL passed away, we had to clean out his house with 50 years worth of stuff. It took forever! But I can give anyone doing this a quick tip. If using trash bags for both trash and items you're donating, buy different color bags. I used white bags I could write on for donations and black bags for trash. Made it easier to sort them as they came out of the house. White bags were stored in the garage until I had them picked up and black bags went straight to the curb. Oh, if you can, use a service like Pick Up Please, which will come to your home and haul away donations for FREE. You can make your appointment online, then just put all your stuff outside on the scheduled date. Also i find if i make an appointment before I'm done decluttering, it helps me stay focused and get things done.
Be sure to check the ratings of the Pick Up Please near you before you begin this process- I just did and they have 10 5 star reviews but NINETEEN 1 star and a couple of 2 star reviews. Most said the same thing: no call no show repeatedly, or when they did finally show they picked thru the items and left the rest behind (despite users having checked and followed donation rules). Hopefully, this only applies to this particular outlet, but better safe than sorry, just FYI.
@@wot4me2 that's great advice. I'm glad you did some research so that you didn't waste your time.
@@ladyfingerhandmade Thanks, probably just this one outlet but didn't want a mess left behind after hauling it to the curb. It seems like SO many places are different since the pandemic started in 2020, so now I always check.
I’ve lost both my parents over the last couple of years, and I have yet to cry. It was so overwhelming dealing with end-stage life decisions, rehab facilities, assisted-living, and trying to keep them in their home (which was their wish)- and then when they did pass away, the house of 60 years was literally packed with junk. I live 12 hours away.
My mother especially slipped into dementia, but now I know my dad did too. It has been over a year since mom passed away, and I still have probably 20 boxes of papers and photos and letters to go through in my own attic. There was so much! My mother treasured every single item.
A friend did it and she did die. Her house was sparkling spotless.
I'm sorry for your loss.
Her life was probably meaningless once she had no possessions that she loved. I can understand getting rid of rubbish but you need to keep some of the objects that make you happy.
@@paulasoy2731I understand what you mean I do love things that bring good memories and feelings to me from childhood, from vacations, things that make me happy…Her house was sterile looking eventually.
@@lissobczak7191😢 thank you she’s missed. She lost her battle with C.
Warning signs may be present in adults who have a high risk for suicide: *Giving away cherished personal possessions*……When I was 13 a woman down the end of the street…… Eve, a very talented artist and single mother….. with a strong male adult only child. He used to beat her up regularly. She wanted a special, mutually supportive monogamous soul mate yet kept on being used and abused by men (seeing her vulnerability)……and imagine the pain of being beat up by her only child. So terrible. Thinking back the only warning sign for her suicide was the piles of her beautiful treasured possessions on the street…..
I will say certain toys are worth keeping. My parents kept a lot of our stuff and now my son is playing with it. It makes my heart so happy to see him enjoying those things. I don't know if I'll hang on to as much as them, but I think that there is joy in a favorite toy even many years later. My aunt found one of her dolls while cleaning out my grandmother's house and was so happy telling stories about it. Then she passed it on to her granddaughter who also loves it.
in fairness, i saved some of those and my grandchildren love them! Not many as I luve in a large, very crowded city.
I think a big part of it too is that someone is already completely overwhelmed dealing with the loss of a loved one. To then deal with the burden and the guilt of having to get rid of a house full of things seems unbearable
I wholeheartedly agree with you. My beloved father passed away last year and clearing out his things/home was very difficult, overwhelming and heartbreaking. I miss my dad every day and I love him dearly however he kept everything. My mom passed away over 30 years ago and my dad kept all her stuff, even her makeup, which was so painful to see. It was like a triple heartbreak: loosing my sweet dad, the loss of my mom and to see how much my dad was heartbroken over my mom. This is not to criticize my dad but simply to say that clearing a loved one possessions is unbearable as you said it so well. I'm now doing the "Swedish Death Cleaning" on steroids LOL 😂 so that my family will not have to deal with all my stuff! ❤
@@fabienneroure9995 My only concern about Swedish Death Cleaning is that it will just free more space for new junk to replace it. Also, it could cost money, because some things that were tossed, later could be discovered to actually be needed. All that said, SDC is a good idea, if done correctly.
@@FLPhotoCatcher I agree! This is why I started with things I was not using/wearing, home decor, holiday decor, books, cd's etc. It got my decluttering muscles going! Cheers from Ontario Canada. 🍄🍂🍁
@@FLPhotoCatcher the minimal mom talks about this, first you will find out you don't need most of the things. If you do, will you know exactly where it is in a pile of stuff or remember you own it at all? Nope, you end up buying replacements anyway over and over again. Then, is the potential of using it worth the years of taking care of it? Lastly, she said that if you really have a hard time or in general give yourself a replacement budget. If it costs less than 10$ to replace, throw it. Try to live without it, and creating alternatives. If it's an expensive appliance or something, quarantine it until the ultimate decision. I found that I will find something, forgot I have it, declutter and after a day don't even remember what I tossed. You WILL have regrets, that's just the nature of it. But that's why you need to start and learn about yourself. I've gotten so good with knowing what I will use that I don't even buy clutter anymore.
@@whatbringsmepeace I'm not talking about hoarders. Just the average American - though most hoarders do have minimal standards of what to keep, generally not keeping something that is objectively worthless.
No, it's not a bad thing to buy something you need later, but keep in mind that Americans buy the most stuff of almost any country on earth. So throwing out most of their stuff per SDC will result in some good things being thrown out, and perpetuate American spending on more new stuff, most of which is of a lower quality than stuff from before a few decades ago. And so the landfills fill up, and the harmful chemicals leach into our water and soil.
My original comment was a warning about consumerism, pollution, and wastefulness.
As someone who has had to clean out a parent's stuff after they died, I am DETERMINED that my kids won't have to suffer through the same thing as me. I think cleaning out the years of crap (and let's face it, most of it IS crap our kids don't want), is the best inheritance we can leave our loved ones -- along with some money, if you have any left, lol.
Oh, my goodness! I could have written this comment word for word! I harbor great resentment that a family member left their nonsense to the other family members to sort out
I have urged my mom to do this. She (like many others) has a house full of stuff. She just laughs at me and says it's my job after she's gone.
@@stanleyhape8427 she doesn't really know what she's saying
@@tammyc1812 Oh yes she bloody well does, at least if she's like my mother.
@@heidim7732 🎯
Thanks so much for this video! I'm a 60 year old, struggling with a messy house, and you have inspired me so much, and you are so sweet and entertaining......Thanks!
I'm 60 and think a lot about Swedish Death cleaning, knowing that my now grown kids will have to deal with my stuff in the next couple of decades. I had never thought of it as being for someone your age, but I see that it has a really valuable application for your age too. Very well done!
I think the sooner you start, the less of it there is to do, and honestly, it really impacts my decisions about what I acquire in the first place.
I'm 36, I try to do it about once a year (a lot less to deal with second time than the first).
I think if you die young it might be more of a shock for those around you, not the order of things but it still happens.
_If_ I happen to go to soon I'd like to atleast help my loved ones deal with it this way. A last action of love to them.
@ricebeansrockroll882 what a darling you are. My suspicion was about your age when she died. It was a terrible shock. I wanted to keep everything.
@@thebestwillowthat is a great point. I am going to delete the Temu app. As soon as I get the stuff I accidentally ordered. All I am doing is spinning my wheels, re-decluttering!
When my grandma died, I cleared out her house together with my mom, sister, aunt and cousin. We found heaps of clothes hangers. In every room, in every cupboard. At some point, we started laughing hysterically at every other hanger we found, until we were in tears. And during my mother's eulogy, she mentioned the word 'hangers' - and all my grandma's friends and distant relatives must have thought 'They're crazy. Why are they laughing?' It was like my grandma's last joke for us. As if she had deliberately owned so many clothes hangers just to make us laugh. I still smile a lot today when I open the closet 😊
❤
Maybe she had so many empty hangers because she had just decluttered her tatty old clothes. So that her children and grandchildren wouldn't have to. It sounds like she at least tried to clear things for you ❤️
I read The Art of Swedish Death Cleaning several years ago and LOVED IT. 10/10 would recommend. My favorite tip and what I would consider the most useful, is labeling things that can be thrown out after you die. When my grandma died my dad and his siblings found a big box of all the personal cards and letters she had received in her lifetime. She obviously kept these because they were sentimental to her. As a result, my dad and his siblings couldn't decide whether or not to throw them away, they were faced with feelings of, "this meant a lot to Mom, and Mom meant a lot to me so wouldn't it be disrespectful to throw them out?" Whereas, of they had been labeled to be tossed, they would not have had those feelings. There are lots of things that mean something to each of us in this life, let's not burden our kids with them, put a post it on it that says "to be thrown away after I'm gone." So beautifully simple! And the best part is, if the item actually means something to your child, they can just disregard the note! 😊
I hadn't been one to get a storage unit before, just lived with a cluttered home, despite decluttering a lot. Anyway, I started boxing and labeling things like I was planning to move, but without urgency so everything is organized and labeled by contents, not room. If we never get to moving, or that stuff stays in storage till I'm no more, at least it won't be as hard to get rid of or go thru. As it was, unorganized clutter in my house, it would be harder. So far most of them are books I don't want to sell but also aren't going to read for a long time if ever. :shrugs:
@@mom2artists every little bit of order helps. You're right, what you have done already adds ease.
As for books, I never get rid of them. I keep them to pass on.
I would feel like I disrespected them by keeping something with a note to discard. I probably wouldn’t want to go through it, to preserve their privacy.
I was thinking about putting colored stickers underneath the item.
So a blue dot sticker could mean that the item has family history but the person is still free to do whatever they want. I could log the blue dot items in a notebook and give the background history of the item.
A green dot sticker could mean the item can be tossed or donated without any concern. This would be the majority of the things in the home, they would be green dots.
Red dot means the item may have some monetary value and maybe they can try and sell.
@@Iloveflowers2024 that's a fabulous system!
You nailed this video. You had us laughing and you had us crying. Felt all the feels while learning how to tackle death cleaning. It’s all about freedom to live, and let others live. Thanks Ariel.💗
I am 65, and started decluttering 4 years ago. The feeling/urge to declutter hit me without my knowing anything about SDC. My home feels so much more livable now, but almost everyday I manage to toss out something still. I love the echos in the rooms.
There is definitely something in the air with this decluttering. I'm the same, all the way down here in Australia. I'd rather declutter than do just about anything at this point! I've been at it for a while and just want it down to a manageable load.
“I love the echoes in the rooms.” This really spoke to me.
Nah, I've things in my life I really love doing. Wouldn't sacrifice them on the altar of "death cleaning'. Give me a break. Some decluttering...at any age...yes.
@kathrynB261 it's not about chucking out things you still use and love. You're not dead yet. Decluttering and minimalism are different things, and can be different tings to different people. I still have all my hobbies. The point is to get rid of anything unnecessary so you have room and time for those things.
How much you declutter might depend on how much you've accumulated and inherited from others. Maybe you don't have that much unnecessary stuff already. In that case no one has to get rid of things they love.
I use to volunteer at a thrift store. We received so many donations from family members of a deceased relative. So many of them were overwhelmed with trying to figure out what to do with it all.
I also find that we tend to over value our things. This is by thinking we can get more money than what it is actually worth. So instead of either blessing someone else or selling it for a reasonable price, we sit on it. Then someday our families are left to deal with it all. That is something I really liked with that book it forced you to deal with reality., let go, and enjoy the present.
As a swede, I can tell you that until about a year ago, I had never heard the term Swedish death cleaning. 😅 But I had practised it. And I know that a lot of swedes that do. Although most of our home is usually filled with junk we should have gotten rid of several years ago, just like everybody elses. It is something that has become more and more popular here as well, and after having cleaned a house from a loved one that passed away, I am really into i. Thank you for this video, and for all your videos. I always have you as my companion when I am doing a long cleaning in my home. 🥰♥️
Haagen Daz Ice cream was and is made in the USA. A name will sell anything.
Really? We use that term often and have as long as I can remember, Döstäda 😊
the last sentence is the sweetest 🥰
I am an old Grandma and love your videos. But now at this stage in my life, some of my "things" bring me comfort. I don't want to clean out/off/dispose of things that someone else will have to when I get a boost from looking at them, using them, etc. I told my loved ones just to call 1800 GOT JUNK because it only means something to me. There really isn't that much because I am good at decluttering in general. For example, I have a box of my grown children's baby clothes, one box, and my mother knitted some things for them that the daughter in law didn't want. No one else will want those things and they will go to a dump so they can go after me!
It sounds like you already have done the death cleaning work. Of course you shall keep the things you love and that holds memories. No-one is allowed to say otherwise. I too love my memory stuff and keep all things that makes me fussy to see/feel/hold. It helps me remember my happy moments.
I believe the book says to do what you are doing as well. You should keep what comforts you let go of what doesn't and make arrangements for what you have. I understand you're also supposed to put notes under things saying what they are so when family cleans stuff out they know what it is
Seems reasonable to me!
Giving your family permission to just dump things also releases them from feeling the need to hold onto stuff cuz it was important to you. That helps them out a lot too.
You don't get rid of the things that have meaning to you or that you are using.
For the kids, I got a wooden trunk for each of them, to keep things for them when they grow up. Like a memory box. Their favorite toy, they favorite outfit, and will give it to them when they get married or move out. They will decide if they want to throw it away or not. Everything else, I donate or throw out.
Awesome idea!!
This! I kept a few things. Don’t have kids, but a neighborhood girl saw the Breyer horse I had on my shelf and her eyes lit up. Gave it too her and was glad to see it found its home.
I think choosing a box for sentimental items and filling it thoughtfully is the way to go.
We have a keepsake box for each child as well. They pull it out a couple times a year to look through. Back in the day girls would have hope chests as well to keep the things they’d make or receive for the future homes. This could be a good idea for things like dishes or blankets that are in good condition.
Another suggestion, go through those photos and label everyone in them. If you believe they are not of interest to your kids, find the family of the person in them and offer them to them. I have started to do that, I inherited the family collection, and they have all been received with pleasure.
I did this keep sake box for my kids. They promptly threw it out when I gave it to them. 😂 not worth keeping for 30 years. .
I did my so-called SDC 6 years ago (at the right time - 'they' say when you turn about 60 or 70 years old, it will hit you - naturally. I got my call at 65. It was fun, sad, exciting - but a lot of work. Took about a year and a half. However, when I moved recently I realized I still had a ways to go. So I guess I'm doing it again. Don't wait too long though - it's a lot of work and if you get too old you won't have the energy to accomplish your goal. I was surprised how much I was able to cart away back then, but this time it's a lot harder!
Thank you for the laughs & for sharing this. I'm an only child with no children & had to clean, sort & get rid of 50+ years worth of items just before & after my mum passed away 4 years ago. It was extremely overwhelming, upsetting & both physically & emotionally difficult. After doing this my whole perspective/mindset on owning/storing items changed & I decluttered & am still decluttering anything that doesn't serve me. Please don't leave the sorting & clearing of your stuff for your kids & family to sort when you're gone, it will benefit them in the future & you right now ❤️
Growing up, I worked in my family's auction business. I've seen enough houses stuffed with junk to realize that I don't want to leave anything for my kids that makes them say "why did she keep THIS?"
My parents did this a few years ago and downsized to an apartment. I'm so grateful to them! They both suffered some pretty significant health issues a couple of years ago and it made it easier to focus on them vs. worrying about how they would get around a two-story house while recovering.
My dad and step mom moved into a condo and we did a big purge of their house. 15 years later, they have accumulated so much stuff in their condo. They do not want to let go.
This video is a work of art and I love when Robyn joins in with the shenanigans. This is great basement cleaning motivation!
Why am I crying over an orange dinosaur I just met???!!??? Great job because I couldn’t have thrown it! I saved my son’s baby lovey and he remembers it. But I limit myself to ONE box of momentos. ❤
My parents are cleaning out my grandma’s house even though she is still living. It’s been time consuming because they are going through their stuff, my brother and sister in law’s stuff (military and moved to Germany for tour), some of the 3 other kids stuff. They are selling the house they practically built up on. I told my mom good thing they are doing it now because they have my other grandma’s house to clear out when she passes as well. Thankfully they are making good progress and preparing it for selling. Please clean up and get rid of in your 40s-50s while you still can as Swedish death cleaning describes. It helps your family and makes life easier for them as they grieve. Thanks Ariel for reminding me to purge in my house again. 😉
I did this for my folks, when my mom died and when my dad went into assisted living, and then for myself when we moved away after it all. I always donate to nonprofit thrift stores, whether or not we are moving. Now that I'm volunteering at one all the time, I donate on a regular basis.
I've heard plenty about "The Gentle Art of Sweedish Death Cleaning" from other RUclipsrs, but you're the first who's made me actually want to read the book myself. She sounds great! :)
I’m 62 and have started giving my ‘real’ jewelry to my daughters now! I don’t wear it much anymore and they can either wear it, reset it or sell it!!
I loved this book and my hope is to have my belongings down to one days worth of thought for my kids. 👍🏻
Thank you for sharing this! I have been trying to declutter but I still have a more to do. I am saving some sentimental stuff for last. I am going to read the book for more inspiration. My mom is 83. She has been declutterring her home over the past several years. At first it seemed sad she was getting rid of her stuff but I truly think she is doing it so I won’t have as much to clean out. I am thankful she is doing this. I have a 73 year old cousin who should start doing this. His house is packed full of stuff. 😕
Do you think this is harder for men than women? Could be.
As a Swede, I can't wait to watch this! I usually do a death clean once a year (I'm 36), and go over to make sure my papers and stuff are in order.
Some might say it's young but really, if I got hit by a car tomorrow I'd like to know I did that for those I left behind.
Getting a paper shredder was one of my best gifts to myself! Getting papers organized is awesome.
I agree with your point that this needs to be done because anything can happen. I started it at 50 when I realised that my step child most likely to deal with things if God forbid something happened to both me and my husband, would pretty much chuck everything out including my family stuff for our child, his younger half sibling who is not yet 18. And frankly I wouldn't blame them, it's up to me to leave things clearly labelled and organised.
You always bring a smile to my face🥰 I cleaned out my childhood home that my parents lived in for over 40 years. Both of my parents grew up during the Great Depression. I found receipts for bills marked paid that were 39 years old, over 50 full sets of sheets and just as many sets of towels. News flash - your kids will not want all the artwork they did in Kindergarten, especially because nothing that was glued together will survive intact. Oh, and please save your kids the trauma of finding all their baby teeth that the Tooth Fairy collected🫣I’ve cleaned out four houses of friends and family, and I’ve vowed not to make friends with any more old people - the risk of having to clean out another house is too high a price to pay😳Please - death clean ASAP💀💀💀 Many thanks Ariel - keep your videos coming💕💜💕
To bad you have been traumatized, you could turn it into a business
I love this concept! I read the book when it just came out, and followed it, but after my mom passed it took over 6 months to clear out her house! There were some gems, but it was mostly junk! It was a huge burden on my family. Death Cleaning is what has me purging my journals every couple of years. I revisit them and then let them go, and it's a huge burden off of me!
I gave my mom this book and offered to help. It has been a wonderful experience in our family. My mom still makes choices based on this book. This is the mindset we need to have throughout life. Outdoor birds love cat fountains.
Just one point about the dvds. While yes, like 99% of the stuff we have on dvd can be found on a streaming service, if you are an odd duck like me and have movies that are harder to find, that still spark joy (yes, konmari method) then don't be afraid to keep them. So yes, I still own dvds, and even a few vhs tapes but that's mostly because I know they'd be twice as hard to replace if I wanted to watch them again. And yes, I do watch them.😅😊
I also think that when we die someone else is going to have to sort all our stuff anyway. So if we do it now then we get to enjoy the extra space, calm and peace of mind now while we're still alive! 💕💓💞
My declutter journey started when I was fired from my last job in my 60s. The firing is a long story and not relevant here, but with the time to do it, I think I started in the attic and worked my way down to the cellar. Eleven years later, it is still a work in progress, but we have a lot fewer things we weren't using. You have mentioned before that it is not a one event job. Once you start, you start to notice other things, other areas where you could do a better job. I think we probably still have over 300,000 items, (I do crafts and sew, and my husbands has lots of tools etc.)so we will continue to work on this, but our kids will definitely be happy that we have cleaned out a lot when the day comes!
I love how your humour gets better with every video. I never stop a video of yours partway.
I have been stressed out by the clutter and the unfinished ‘projects’ I thought I would pursue in my retirement. Diminishing health has taken its toll.
I decided recently that I am not going to spend my available remaining ‘free time’ sorting through / giving away things that indeed , no one else will want, but will enjoy the things I have around me till I am dead , and fully acknowledge that my dear ones can keep what they want, sell it ( not likely ) or just cart it off to Value Village or the dump. I spent enough years looking after them so I don’t feel guilty anymore.
As the saying goes, ‘ live long enough to be a problem to your children ‘ 😂😅😊
This was your first video I've watched and loved your editing style😅.
As for the cleaning - yes yes! My mom has been doing this after losing both her parents 4 and 2 years ago. Her experience with their items made her realize she didn't want us to deal with it. She's also already gifting sentimental pieces instead of waiting till she's gone for the family to enjoy them. It's very thoughtful and sweet.
It's hard to declutter and it's different for everyone, when you mentioned the sea shells from an adult that collected them as a kid, i'd love to get that from my mom, picturing her collecting them as a child. and my grandma is now in a nursing home and we are all picking out things that we remember the most using or loving as children at her place.
i sometimes think about this in todays world we declutter everything and things don't last as long also, when i go to my dads i remember all of the cups from my childhood, but my kids won't ever remember any specific cups when they are adults because i've either decluttered them all or they all broke and we constantly got new ones... it's kind of sad ... so I try to at least have a few things that i wont ever declutter.
I have a wooden clock that has storage inside that i bought when i was a teenager myself, that is something i hope they will love and remember when they are adults. i hope there are more items like that in my home that i just can't think of right now
I read this book many years ago and we started cleaning- we (meaning I more than hubby) was ruthless. As I went through things, I became sad and mad- sad about letting go of things that had great memories but no longer being used or useful and mad at myself for all the items we donated - I was mad that I bought all of this stuff and did t think twice about tossing it in a bin never to be seen again for a very long time. We are empty nesters, so we asked our children if they wanted any of the furniture (no), any kitchen items (no), any decor (they each fought over the seasonal/holiday decor until Dad started mediating, and what they made when children went to them directly), tools- my husband had so many repeats that he was able to send home a full rolling tool box to our son and 2 sons-in-law and still had double of things. That was phase 1. Phase 2, about 4 years later and accumulating again, we needed to refresh a bedroom, so, we totally emptied it and brought everything g to the garage, after fixing walls, sanding floors, painting and laying an area rug (which I already had but rolled up in storage), we only brought back 4 items- bed, dresser, 2 night stands, after 2 weeks, i put up blinds and curtain, I brought in 2 sets of summer sheets and 2 sets of flannel sheets along with 2 linen duvet’s- one with no comforter in it for a bedspread and the other with a comforter would be pulled out in the cold months and folded at the end of the bed, 2 sets of bath sheets and washcloths- all stored in the closet (each bed has 4 sleeping pillows on them along 2 pillows with shams); again, a week later, I added a few pictures on the walls, a tv and lamps and one chair in the corner next to the dresser- that’s it- we donated a bench, 6 sets of sheets, 7 sets of bath sheets and washcloths, more decor, clothes not being worn that was in the dresser, an area rug and an extra mirror I no longer liked- that was just 1 bedroom, the other 2 bedrooms had more and we did the same thing to them and we were ruthless about getting rid of clothes in all rooms but especially our master closet, dresser and chest of drawers (the chest of drawers now holds our 2 sets of sheets and 2 sets of towels for each of us), our closet looks bare compared to the before and after 6 years it still looks bare but it only has clothes we actually wear year round. We did this type of purge over a year with every single room in our house- one room at a time- the kitchen last. We not only donated furniture, but dishware, multiple sets of pots and pans and bakeware, serve ware and serving dishes, flatware, small appliances “we must have” that were rarely used, placemats, cloth napkins and tablecloths. When we emptied the kitchen, I kept one cast iron skillet, 2 small pots and a Dutch oven, 2 cookie sheets, a muffin tin and 2 bread pans, 1 spatula, 1 serated and 1 regular cooking spoon, one set of flatware, 4 glasses, 2 coffee mugs and 4 plates and bowls, 1 platter; as I worked in the kitchen and needed something I didn’t keep in it with the “purge”, I would go out to the garage and get that item- I brought in all my HexClad cook set, 2 more cast iron skillets and Dutch oven, 1 more muffin tin, 2 more baking sheets, 3 casserole pans, a stoneware pizza pan, the round cake pan set, a rectangular cake pan and a brownie pan, crockpot, InstaPot, toaster, a few more cooking spoon items, a toaster, my KitchenAid stand mixer, my Ninja IQ Blender, my immersion blender, Ninja pod coffee maker and a regular drip coffee pot (taken out when we have a crowd because pods are pricey), my grandmother’s spun aluminum canister set and 2 sets of glass storage snap ware sets and the complete set of dishware that matched what we kept initially. We got rid of 2 kitchens worth of things (pots/pans sets, bakeware sets, extra dishware sets and drinkware, small appliances and gadgets, etc), which we donated to 2 very young g newlywed couples (they also took most of the excess furniture, sheet sets and bath towels and some decor). After we did “the purge”, what we thought was too small a house had a lot more storage and functionality, so, we didn’t sell our house to move to a larger one just to fit all of our “stuff” we are still in our 1200 sqft home and have no plans to move or add on, just renovate.
Well done.
I wish I had someone like you give us furniture when I got married. We were broke college students in 2012. All we had was a dresser, bed and a cheep rolling cart for a nightstand a d a desk. All the furniture was mine my folks hauled to arizona for me bless em. I had to buy alot of things like a new can opener, vaccume, garbage bins, and dishes cause my husband's set broke. We didn't have a sofa either , our first sofa was a dumpster dive double recliner that smelled of smoke and out coffee table was a out door patio table with holes that was rusted...
@@HosCreates I remember those early days of our marriage 41 years ago! The one thing I have learned, is that the $$$ you spent on all the stuff/the thirst to accumulate, was lost at the cash register and really not able to ever recoup it let alone the wasted emotional energy from trying to find a place for it, using g it to justify the purpose and then shoving it in a closet or bin for years. Do t get caught up in it- the accumulation, the “must have”, the next best thing” or the “if only I could have …. I would be happy” - it’s not worth it! And we had no desire to post anything on Marketplace or any other site to sell the stuff we wanted gone- the entire point of decluttering is to remove the stuff from the premises not hold on to it on the chance it might sell for way less than the pain of the original purchase and storing it until it would sell. I think that’s where the constant “decluttering” comes from- 1. trying to sell it and keeping it around 2. Or the “just in case I need it later” 3. Or the sentimental value but where it’s shoved away. We all fall into those cycles and Swedish Death Cleaning helps pull us out of it.
@@HosCreateswhen my husband & I started we had a futon (no frame) that was given us
The guy who gifted it asked for it back in a few weeks, changed his mind
I’m not joking
We only had a seat at all becuz a loveseat had been left in the apt
No tables or chairs of any sort, no closet anywhere, no tv, no dresser, no shelves. I put up brown paper bags in the door window as I had no curtain and it was huge. There was a huge front window also that looked right thru the French doors into our bedrm. The first thing I spent any $ on in the next 3 days was fabric to tack up over that window! It was hideous but dark so ppl couldn’t look in anymore (street level). I don’t even know where I found the $3 to buy the fabric. We had no gas $ even & only ate becuz I had foodstamps.
@@HosCreates I remember those days well!
You have some really good pictures of your son with the dinosaur so that's even better than just keeping the object.
I disagree entirely and here's why.
I would have kept it BECAUSE I have him in photos playing with it so much. Had it been a 5 ft dinasaur, maybe not, but such a small item would have been kept. 😊
@@madhattersoriginal6258 good point. It really wouldn't take up that much space.
I think I danced in the mosh pit of the band Swedish Death Cleaning in 1997.
Hahaha, omigosh, I cackled so hard I scared the cat! 🤣
We found your video today while we were in the ER. 🤣😂🤣 You were so spot on. No one died but it was a great attention getter for be ready. Todd said he is coming g to your funeral real if there is ice cream!!! It has taken 15 years to clean out my mamaw’s house. She was a child of the depression and kept all kinds of things. I did get my momma a copy of the book. My parents have 3 houses!!! I do not want to have to clear that much. My momma looked very similar to yours in the video before I explained. 😂🤣😂
Oh Wendy I hope everything is okay?? I've been so busy this week that I still haven't had a chance to finish listening to your video message. Make sure to keep me updated!
@@ThatAwkwardMom It came out much better! I’ll do a quick catch up tomorrow. I know you have been crazy busy. All the love.
This is great. My Dad has had several strokes, he let his rental property be completely destroyed with dog poop and pee, garbage everywhere, roaches, mice, etc. to where almost nothing was even usable. We had to work for weeks to get it cleaned out & had to throw most everything out. Now he’s living in a Motel. He stayed with us for several months but I became too much - both my sister and I have young children. He is very hard headed and wants everything his way. Anyway, if he would have taken care of things we wouldn’t have to do all of this. I’m doing this slowly to my own home. Thanks for sharing 😊
Thanks for your fun spin on this book & method of decluttering! Great job on the progress!
When I initially decluttered I used this method as well as the no mess method
Love your humor! Glad I stayed til the end.
You are honestly the best video editor all around. Your videos are hilarious and informational and editing is something I wouldn't typically notice but yours is so professionally and intentionally done that elevates your message. Great job!
Thank you so much for noticing! Your comment means a lot ❤️
Hilarous and bravely honest and vulnerable, as always. Love your content Ariel ❤
Wow! I really enjoyed this video!
As a young adult I didn't had a feeling of home. I moved alot and wanted to go on a long hike. So I got rid of everything. Only left were two boxes with paper stuff you mustn't throw away and one backpack with clothes.
No bed, no furniture, nothing left.
And now living in an apartment, I still don't like to have a lot of things.
Every few weeks I find something that I can let go of.
My room is not sterile, it's cozy. Everything has a place, I know where to find my stuff. It's always clean, no need to tidy up, because I know where these things belong.
Thank you for sharing this method and your progress with us 😊
My brother had the luckiest story ever-that part is unrelated but his neighbor knew she had cancer and her kids lived in Alaska, so she literally gave him her house! He actually took over her mortgage, but still, it was like $50k for almost 3000 square feet and a garage. His mortgage is less than mine and I have half the house.
But this woman was actually pretty well off and had anything and everything she possibly wanted. She had also rented it out at one point, so there were TWO full kitchens. And she was a prepper. One of her kids did come for a little bit to help and take things that mattered to her, but that wasn't much, especially since she lives in Alaska. This super, super lucky thing became a huge problem, especially since they really didn't know each other THAT wol. He was giving things to everyone he knew and gave tons to Goodwill. He's been there over three years and there are still things of hers that they don't actually use.
Being much older than you, I am definitely going thru this process. Have cleared a couple houses after my parents passed. One thing I have left my children with is all my belongings served me in my life. If they bring no actual value to them, move it along! No guilt!
Great work Ariel!!! I'm not going to lie, I even got a little emotional when you showed all the pictures of your son with his dinosaur. I found so much encouragement to try this!
Screw it I'll admit it, I cried 😂😂😂😂
I’m 66 and my health has been a challenge after getting COVID 4 times. I’ve been getting rid of everything personal. I’ve gotten rid of everything. Pictures. Momento’s. Notes. My writings. I don’t miss anything.
The only things my family will have left are essentials and all of my prepping food and garden seed collection. It’s their inheritance because it’s worth a lot.
A before and after shot of the basement would have been really interesting to see.
I love the content.
Now i have something to say about the format: naming the channel The Awkward Mom and editing and scripting it like a 2009 video is *chefs kiss*
Love it.
8:25 - 9:17 Ooooph, I felt that. Great advice though. And I think think the sooner we realise we no longer need/use/get enjoyment from an item the way we once did, and the sooner we part with it, the easier it is. (And the more likely they get to be passed on to someone who will use and enjoy them while they're still in a fit state, and not caked in decades of dust!) It may sound silly, but I often give the possestions I'm donating a last "thank you, farewell" pat/hug/kiss before popping them into the donation box.
I LOVE your videos. I have done my "death cleaning". To be honest, I do it a few times a year. But there's one (In my case, hundreds) item that I'll NEVER part with, EVER. They are my DVD'S. I'm known to be a movie FANATIC and it would be awful for my family to see I got rid of them. All my children are movie fans, too. I'll let them decide to keep, sell or throw away. Thank you for another great video! ❤
Agreed! I know most people use streaming, but I don't have streaming services, or even Wi-Fi in my house. DVDs are still so valuable to be. ❤
@@RaeC5280
Hell yeah, sister! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Great video!! I started Swedish Death cleaning when I retired 3 years ago. Still doing it, asking kids if they want anything before I get rid of it, starting today my Fall Cleaning ala death cleaning. It is good to see the house having less stuff, neat drawers, space in cupboards. Glad that you added Robyn to this. I ❤ her too!
I think about and bring up Swedish Death cleaning a lot. My inlaws are hosts with the mosts. But also the most stuff. They're VERY organized people but it's a garage and like 5 sheds. Just to keep up with holiday decor and summer activities. It's so wonderful they can afford this lifestyle but my husband and I have discussed when is a good time to have this convo with them. Especially since literally none of us daughters/inlaws have the same styles of home decor. They're healthy, thank the Lord, but no one needs that much stuff.
Good heavens !! five sheds?! 😳 yesh! Tell them that they should be thinking about what happens to their stuff if placed in a memory care facility and how exspensive they are and how they could sell some items while they have value to put away for their care
I am totally into this! I hate clutter and long to have a place for everything. The problem is my husband,son and daughter all have …hoarding tendencies, I guess you could say. I’m not quite sure what to do when my mental health needs order and theirs requires never getting rid of anything. Great video done with humor as we’ve come to expect from you😂
I hear you. It sometimes takes awhile to get your family members on board with decluttering. I focused on getting rid of my things and also household items that I felt that I could make decisions about because no one else would really care if I got rid of the item or not. As I went room by room, closet by closet, I consolidated the excess crap they were hanging onto and put it into ONE room -in our case the "bonus room" and grouped each of their belongings by owner for them to go through "later". At one point, that room looked like an overwhelming, hoarded mess but it also gave them a very clear visual picture of the excess clutter that they had. Slowly but surely they have been letting go of things. I don't know why it's such a hard process for some people, but it is.
Am I the only one who cried with the dinosaur? I remember hearing about SDC I think before or after my mom past, but I didn't have the opportunity to fully process closing up the life we shared. Thank you for the video (and others), it is something I've brought up to my friends over the years. I'm not a mommy, but I am a wife and a life of 16 years with my husband I've been systematically purging over the years. Love your videos. ❤
It was such a touching moment. I also found myself feeling emotional.
I would have kept it. With all the other bags, the dinosaur could stay! Which is why I have a cluttered home.😅
@@jenniferpearce1052 I kept toys my kids cherished hoping a grandchild would love them, like their parent did. Finally let them go. They were too old, out of style, my kids felt no sentimental attachment to them. One of my kids did go through his things to see if any were worth anything online. Much lighter now.
@@pama.6410 my mom has just put some of our stuffed toys in a bag for donations, my nephew is almost 18 and didn't play with them as he lives in another continent and my daughter is almost 10 and has shown no interest in those toys for years. It's time to let go.
@@jenniferpearce1052Ditto
You are very entertaining and….motivating. Thank you for being motivating. I’m trying over here. After losing my business in 2020, I kept a bunch of filing cabinets with papers that I could finally get rid of. Called the shredding company and going to put four filing cabinets up to get rid of on whatever platform gets results. Also downsized in 2020 to a house half the size of the previous house. It’s been a journey! I watch your video for reaffirmation. Thank you.
Great video, Ariel. I'm grateful my Mom already did a lot of this herself. I don't want my family to have a huge burden after I die.
Ariel, you are one of my favourite RUclips leaders! You keep it real... you inject humor and fun... I just love that you keep going and trying new ways to make your family's home better. Blessings! ❤
Instead of people keeping everything for loved ones to go through and divide after they’re gone they could put together a memory box or keepsake box for each person and then let the rest go or do what my grandmother did and put names on specific things they want to leave to each person. My aunt and her siblings did a lottery with their father’s things. Everyone would draw a number and decide to keep or pass on the matching item and everything that was left over was divided or discarded. No arguing, no fighting and we actually had fun
My kids are 10 and 14 now. Watching you say goodbye to the dinosaur made me cry. Saying goodbye to their younger years is so hard.
Monthly I go through every room of my house decluttering/tossing/donating. I have echoes in my house but I only need what I need.
The insert of the family, HILARIOUS. Now back to the video.
She is teaching them humility.
Your editing is just the best😂😂🎉🎉 thanks for another encouraging vid
You might make videos for people who need help cleaning, but I watch just because you're sweet and entertaining. And funny! 😄😂
There was a period of my life in late college/early independence that I was moving either every year or every other year. I know it was the thing that pushed into my head "don't want it, don't use it, def don't wanna move it." I think there's a lot of generational learned "but you might need..." too, as my grandparents did The Great Depression and WW2 and couldn't just go out and replace things. I know my mom is a little better but that feeling of wastefulness still hits her hard. She's made so much progress in ten years! The collecting is a lot easier when you are finally in your own home, but I still hate tripping over things we don't use, and we're a lot happier when we've got space to actually enjoy the things we DO use.
I’m almost 60 n have never been able to just go out n replace ANYthing
I have a few things I’ve regretted cleaning out/donating but never anything I’ve regretted keeping.
I’m so glad I found your channel! I laughed throughout and that will help me to do the hard things, right? Laughter is good medicine. ❤
Exactly!! Laughter is what gets us through the hard times!
I purge clean every year. Last year though, I began Swedish death cleaning. I am still young and strong enough to consciously do this.
I think of my siblings when I Swedish Death clean.
If something should happen to me, I want my place to be cleared out w minimum effort.
We were lucky. Our parents downsized from our childhood home to a smaller one and got rid of a lot! Then cleaned out again when they went to assisted living. In the end there was only mom's favorite items left. My motto is- when done with an item or you don't need it let it go. Do not throw things down in the basement, shove in a closet or toss up into the attic. Also, pick a day- spring?- to declutter once a year. Ask yourself- did I use or need this at all this year? Ask your kids if they want what you have saved from their childhood. No? Well toss & get rid of it. Good Luck!
That opening was perfect
i've been telling my momms to start dealing with my Granni's low-level hoarding + clutter for years. + she says she needs to then does nothing, doesn't help me, or even try to encourage my Granni to do better. this video helped me decide i'm not helping when it's time to clear her home. we could be dealing with this over time. i'm not gonna feel guilty when my mom is the only one doing it in a rush//under pressure.
thank you for this.
The dinosaur made me choke up! I'm so sentimental! I have a lot to let go of. ❤
Ditto
I just found your channel. I've struggled for an entire YEAR to declutter. Bought the book on Audible and subscribed 👍
I did this a few years ago and will continue to do it every few years as my life evolves. It's a very effective mindset. I told my kids there is nothing they need to hold onto unless they want to. There is nothing precious. Open the door and let it all go. I want them to have permission to let my things go. My things are not me.
This is the best collaboration ever!! You two ladies are perfect for each other.🇨🇦♥️
A few years back, I had to clean out my parent's home. My mother had a lot of things that she loved and enjoyed using. It broke my heart to have to let most of her things go. The grandkids didn't want most of it as they had no relationship with those items, my brothers and I already had overflowing home. We kept a few things but my folks had two full sheds and a home full of memories. I have started on my home and have got most of it done. I am at the photograph stage. This has been taking months because I love pictures of the family and I am having a hard time only keeping the best of the best.
Digitize the photos! No reason to throw them away completely 🤍
She doesn’t need those things anymore
They can go
U have ur own
And someday
U won’t need them anymore
And ur kids will let them go too
You are the only RUclipsr I follow that does this kind of content :)
There Are Many! :)
This book is magical! And it’s not really morbid… There’s really quite a bit of humor in there! Download the audiobook from your library for free… Sit back… And take in the philosophy! It’s really good!
We have an informal arrangement where I live where we put unwanted, unsaleable but could still be useful, items by the gate or on the wall - old tins of paint, plant pots, odd plates, jam jars etc - they usually get picked up pretty quickly.
I would have kept that dinosaur. Don't keep everything, but it's okay to keep one or two really special things.
Hello my beautiful friend, Ariel. I am surprised at how much your Mini-Me has grown! She looks more and more like her beautiful mommy. Your son looks so adorable playing with his dinosaur. I still have great memories of him attacking the world with the feather duster. He has grown into such a handsome boy. Your hubby is pretty awesome, too, and your mom is, too. I was amazed to see how many donation bags you got through so quickly. I will need to try this. I'm not doing too well at cleaning or decluttering because I can't get over strep throat. I will need to make some jalapeno chicken soup tomorrow. Love love love you. Hope to see you and your beautiful family soon. 💋
I just love you and your sweet comments Norah! Thanks for being you 🥰🥰
Buying this book for my mother-in-law. I’ve already had to clean out my father’s house and my mother’s house who were both hoarders. I don’t wanna have another house to clean out after she passes away. And then I am reading the book for myself.😂
Have you watched any of Midwest Magic Cleaning's videos? He goes into hoarder houses - WITH the owner's permission. I love his compassion and ability to explain about the mental illness.
I've been wanting to do this for soooooo long. so nice to see you made a video of it. I've been waiting for your turn!
Oh my goodness! this is going to change my life! You have no idea how much I needed this! I've sent this to my mom as well. She needs it more than I do! Thank you and I love your humor. You are amazing.
This is so good! One summer I finally asked my grown kids if they wanted to keep or go through all the bins of their old things, artwork, school papers, clothes I, not they, had saved and they had no interest in the items AT ALL. I realized it was my collection, not theirs! I went through it and kept very little, like one bin out of 40 bins. Much of it was time deteriorated. I wish I had done the sorting and decisions as stuff came into the house, or at least every year but at least it is done now! I wish I had donated the clothes before time and heat destroyed them, especially elastic.
Yes!
This is the problem with hoarding
Others could be using it!
I try hard to give with a person in mind
Single mom
Boy who’s dad just died
Child taking care of elderly parent
Family in crisis with nothing to their name
College student
Crafter
Immigrant family
Kid with learning disability
Etc etc etc
Who could USE my dusty thing?
8:53 As someone with a tote full of baby toys and no babies... I let loose a few tears:( Keep the dino!!! I might not be ready for this type of cleaning LOL!