Divorce is the most devastating thing in your life next to a funeral (especially with kids involved and you are the father who can’t see your kids all of the time and pay child support) God with us all ❤️🤘✝️
Depression: Depression in us men is a funny thing. By nature, we’re logical creatures and we seek to fix things. We see a problem, we see a solution, and we take action. Depression comes when we dont get the desired/ expected result. When couples go through a breakup, men are at a disadvantage because we dont seem to have the emotional tools that women have when it comes to dealing with the pain and hurt. Women readily have strong support groups of friends/family that will comfort them while they grieve. While us men have similar support, the message we get just isnt the same. We open up to our male counterparts, and we get “forget her bro, plenty of fish” or “go bang tons of women to get over her bro”. We’re expected to snap out of it instantly and bounce back like nothing ever happened, and when we dont, we start to get looked at as weak. The difference between our support groups and theirs is that ours has limited patience, as again, men are logical creatures and won’t tolerate non-responses to their “solutions” for long. Womens’ support groups have the patience and understanding to stand by her for as long as it takes to heal. Our gender role and expectations of such compel us to drive our feelings deep down, and avoid expressing them. Our inability to freely continue to express our pain leads us to become withdrawn and isolated, which leads to self destructive behavior. Our minds are constantly analyzing and re-analyzing the situation, still trying to find a logical solution to fix things, yet falling short everytime, because we never take into account the emotional factor in her decision. Our inability to empathize is what causes us frustration and pain. The rush of emotions that flood our system during those times is what does damage to our psyche, as again, we’re not equipped to anticipate and deal with them properly, since emotions arent part of our nature. It’s like we short circuit ourselves because we keep entering the solution to an equation, yet the equation doesnt pan out as we expect it to. This is why we lock up and lock down because we keep going through forced reboots of ourselves. These reboots manifest themselves in isolation, drinking/drug usage, amongst other destructive behaviors. We’d give anything to continue to take the blue pill and go back to our relationship matrix, instead of getting a red pill forced down our throats. I feel that this is why studies show higher rates of suicide in men vs women. We cant deal with our new reality and the cognitive dissonance that comes with seeing and implementing a solution to a problem, yet not getting the result we expected. So since we’re stuck in a logic loop, and cant figure it out, we self destruct as we turn inwards on ourselves and see ourselves as unworthy or unfit to overcome. This is why some men choose to check out rather than continue to deal with their perceived failure in life. This is especially true if they lost tangible assets like their home, net worth, or custody of their children. It leads to a domino effect of self destruction as they lose their jobs, or their circle of friends, and their mental/physical health. Once they lost it all, one can see why they say “game over”, and choose to end themselves, as they feel that is the one thing they can control. Although we’ve made great strides in being more accepting of male pain and heartache, we still are woefully unequipped to overcome our grief and pain. It is incumbent upon us as men to fully support our brothers, and understand that there’s not always a “quick fix” to getting over emotional pain. Avoid giving quick fix responses and just listen and understand your brothers as they grieve and go through the motions. Dont judge em, just listen and understand them. Doesnt make us less manly to do so, it just makes us human. In doing so, you may just save their lives.
This is absolutely true. I got little to no empathy from some of the male "friends" I reached out to when I was going through divorce. And they don't appreciate if you talk to them more than once about the same issue. My ex-wife on the other hand had plenty of support from both men and women. What I realized is that, by default woman is seen as the victim, unless the man prove otherwise. Often times I felt like I had to prove my innocence because the people I interacted with were highly judgmental and wasn't really interested in listening to me but rather believe in what they felt comfortable with.
@@vhdl1234 I feel you 100% January make it a year of my divorce and I still have dreams of my ex wife and it like a nightmare I can't get over. she moved on with no problem and find somebody else.she told me she dont have dreams or anything. Like how , I loved her with everything. She even told me to hate she married me and had a child with me. Like I wasn't already hurting.if it wasnt for god I might would of deleted myslef.which I know she would cared at all. To this day If she was sick i would care.Then this man around my son and buying him stuff like I'm dead or not around. She knew I have a big heart and when she needed help im there but call me everything but a good father and person. I wouldnt had a child if I knew this would happen. Then I try to have a outlet to not hold pain in but people get tired of hearing it and tell me move on. 17 years is a long time to just say forget everything I'm good. That's alot of memories good and bad. Places, events, locations, music you listen to together or movies,holidays etc. We both responsible for the divorce but she the victim. Her family think I'm everything but the man I am so this I want win.even if I try , her heart with another person when my heart is broken.
Yep for men divorce often equals mission failure. Trying in vain to hit rewind yet the tape is long gone. It's about reframing who we are and how we view the world. It's about the realisation that we are not God.
My wife just out of no where told me she wants a divorce told me she was never happy and just rips a happy family apart and is not heartbroken at all it has shattered me so bad and has shattered our two kids I am just lost and confused I don’t know what to do
Same wife just up and said she quits. We have 3 kids and I've always taken care of my family and provided everything without fail. She is pretending everything is the same as it's ever been and doesn't feel any remorse for destroying our family and all we have built together
@@mavtaku5405 I'm so sorry .. I'm trying to keep ours alive. But I think I'm fighting a loosing battle., I am so very sorry for your heartache. This near killed me, but I am really fighting to save it . Worst I think she's getting me to dance through hoops that she knows I can't. Like you I gave my all, I provided. Free house, she never had to work, 2 kids, and anything that was wanted, it was got.
What up with these women just up and say they want a divorce like it nothing. My ex wife had the divorce papers signed and everything while I was thinking things was looking up. I just had a fight with her son i raised for 17 years standing up for her but my reward was divorce papers. I forgot about myself and love her to the point I put myself last. Now I staring from the bottom. I lost everything in my marriage and if I knew better I would made sure I was on top. Instead of helping her through school but do it for myslef, instead of helping with her business, start my business up.
The only thing worse than being alone is being forgotten by the one you will never forget - In sickness and in health and till death do us part is all bullshit and should be removed from wedding vows - 18 years gone - I kept my promise, but she didn't -
Hey man, I feel for you, but I respectfully disagree. Worse than all of that is losing the love and belief in yourself, and that someone other than you is worth more than your own well being. You will heal, you will get back on your feet, and you will be a better man having gone through this.
Also the family bullshit. Welcome, your part of our family now, until she divorces you then they scatter. The only family you have is the one your born into!!!!
@@Mensdivorceplaybook My divorce ended 12 years ago, but I still find myself emotionally falling down over the 5 year marriage she threw away like some gym membership. No man is better having gone through divorce... because in future romantic relationships you will now be less trusting, more paranoid, the pain of divorce for many never goes away and statistics show if you try marriage again you have a greater chance at failure. Divorce breaks even a strong man into broken pieces of glass... we must do our best to glue those pieces back together and move on with our lives. Just be aware of your own weaknesses such as being less trusting, more paranoid and the painful memories because if you're not careful you'll sabotage future relationships. My girlfriend today I have stayed with for the last 10 years, but I still have days where I question our future simply because of the betrayal from my x-wife many years ago.
@@NTJedi thanks for opening up and sharing. The fact that you are having feelings like this still, I would hightly recommend you getting into therapy to help you move past these
Separated for a year and divorce to be concluded in a week. She wanted the divorce. I tried to get her back. No joy. Was married for 9 years no kids. Now her family have encouraged her to take me to court for 50 percent of my house, business, apartment and cars. Worked so hard my entire life. Now this is making me suicidal. It’s just too much for me to deal with. Been fighting a really tough battle with depression recently. Can’t leave the house can’t speak to my friends or family. It’s hard. Before all this I was a person people loved to be around. Now ……. Disappearing.
Hey man, thanks for speaking up. You won't see it now, but this is a gift. It will get better. There will come a day when you thank god this happened the way it did. In the meantime, you need to get to taking care of yourself. I hope my videos are helping get you going in the right direction
I am going through a divorce right now - after a year long separation. I'm on good terms with her - which almost makes it harder. I thought I had processed a lot of it during the separation and was "fine" but recently just 2 weeks after the decisions. Lots of difficult pain emotion and grieving the end of this chapter. Also lots of physical pain - lots of migraines and headaches. Trying my best to remind myself that this is all temporary and eventually I will feel better. And that the physical and emotional pain from this is temporary. Thanks for the inspiring words. I'm giving myself permission to not be 100 percent. I'm also dealing with having to sell the house, possibly move and in school for a new career direction all at the same time. Some days i just want to stop trying. maybe I will also give myself a day of nothing soon. Thanks for your wisdom. And for anyone else hearting out there - you aren't alone.
Your video finally got me to cry away the pain I was blocking inside. Like speaking to my best friend which is unfortunately miles away and unaccessible. Thank you for the support. It is really helping me through this.
I learn one thing not to let a women have power over you, hearing these things from divorce men makes me don't want to ever get married. I've been through the child support system and having my daughter taken from and forced to pay a massive amount of child support while she destroyed my life and the courts didn't care. It's no different than divorce so I understand your pain.
I hope you find what you are looking for. Be sure and check out my other video about 3 tips where I talk about finding social groups not necessarily to talk about your divorce.
I very much appreciate your advice. We've been separated since 2018 but I'm still not over it. Even the divorce was not filed. I'm almost pretty sure she's been hurting all this time too. 20 years of marriage, our son is 18, he lives with her in another city. Hard times. Depression. Sometimes taking life away pass through my mind. But self-talk sounds like a great idea. Be positive. And to think like Bruce Lee: let the water flow. Thanks a lot for the wise words.
@@Mensdivorceplaybook I'm struggling with depression but with your advice and always praying to my Lord Jesus Christ in behavior of me, my ex, my son. We gonna overcome this. Thank you very much.
I am divorcing for the second time . It was too hard for me to recover from my first divorce . Now thinking about the second one is a nightmare to me. However, I was looking for a way to think possitive and make up my mind . I am glad I found your videos. Thank you so much for this. Hope everything will be better .
Damn bro I found your channel while separating with my wife on route to divorce. I did my part to provide n protect for her and her twins. Her jealous ways have made me take the decision to leave. And your vids are helping greatly. Thank you
Marriage is a suckers game! It’s not 1950 anymore fellas. Adapt to the times. Love doesn’t last social media ruined that for all. Never married, I seen countless men lose it all, while the lady rides off into the sunset with her new lay. Don’t do it guys. Date women that’s fine, but once they move in it’s all downhill!
my 9 years girl left me and told me she deserves better. after 1 month split, she started dating someone new. its been 4 months. i have accepted it but theres not a single minute that she doesnt cross my mind. i hate the feelings. especially everytime i wake up. then the feelings started becoming better thru out the day then tomorrow its the same struggle. i hate the fact that she made the decision and left me dealing with the pain while shes happier. i hate her and everything and love and relationship. its so stupid and such a waste of time
I'm right there with you. Same story but with 2 kids. Wake uo are the worst. I usually dream of being still married with her and when you open your eyes and notice your actual reality is devastating. Try to live day by day and avoid being to lonely at least during the harder time. Big hug from Chile.
Great videos. Great advice. Thank you. 10yr marriage. Split up few months ago gave it a 2nd try. Same outcome both unhappy. So far amicable. Splitting everything 50/50. Got 2 girls to coparent now so we need to stay friendly as we can. It's hard as it's still raw. Even though we split last year and gave it another try now it's ended its still upsetting. Need to move on but that's easier said than done!
@@Mensdivorceplaybook the water metaphor. Stop trying to control what you can't. Let it go, go with the flow. I felt a wave of comfort and in some ways at peace when I heard and understood what that meant.
Exact same situation Nathan - married 12 years - got divorced a year ago this month - still dealing with it - two beautiful girls coparenting now - easier said than done to move on but I have to - I have developed anxiety, health issues and depression as a result - it sucks but you have to take it day to day - that's what's worked for me - and surround yourself with family and good friends - totally helps!! Good luck!!
If all the pain and suffering can in some bring her back and make you happy.. then I’d say suck it up and push through. But constantly remind your literal and functional mind that it’s all a COMPLETE waste of energy and time grieving for her and she DOESNT DESERVE IT. Find a couple things you really enjoy and do that with all your heart or at least MAKE yourself do them and eventually the pain will go away. Just remember. Don’t make the same mistake again. Let all the bad women whore themselves out for what they need and ruin other men’s lives until they die bitter and alone. Get smarter. Understand the game. Maybe you’ll get lucky and find a good woman… just know going in that they are very rare or already married.. and women lie very very well. Practice made them perfect. Do I sound bitter? I’m being a realist not a pessimist.
We create much of our reality and the rest is chance and fate. Sure,I love the idea of that. It works with work, dreams, aspirations, etc. But.. we cannot take responsibility for what others do. And as long as we intimately make ourselves vulnerable in the way you are connected to another human being… we are then open to being hurt. 1 million love songs can’t just be written by those who created their own pain and suffering. As men.. we will NEVER know what we cannot understand enough to control its outcome. Also. Some people only get the message when it’s blunt and direct. I’d like to know how you would have worded it differently. No sarcasm. I’m 11 months into separation and 3 weeks away from divorce. I’m happy to be wrong if it helps me.
Not a man obviously lol. But divorce is horrible and its nice to see mens perspective. God bless you all. Men hurt too and i know us women make mistakes
A very painful experience, causing a lot of confusion especially amongst young men. If you have God as a friend it's a great thing but whatever your religion it's still painful, so you need to be around people who love you and care about you ,without overwhelming you. Take one day at a time.
Maybe divorce help man to understand that it is ok to cry. For men it is easier to explore the moon than to deal with his inner feelings. Something that women are more at ease with !
Thanks brother. You don't know how much your words impacted me. I'm going stop worrying about the opinions of those who have chosen to disconnect from me.
Thank you. Your videos have helped me tremendously in the first few weeks. I'm still watching your videos. Please make more. This has helped me to be positive.
@@Mensdivorceplaybook thanks so much for replying. If possible more content about starting to date again, dating anxieties and how to address them, how to trust yourself and others in dating again and how to deal with seeing your child part time -custody (especially when you raised them are are used to seeing them everyday)
I have dought..while my divorce case is going on now..i Think she Has affair..its not like about right..3veryone have .but as a men we are loyal from begging....but why She is acting like independent women..n iam jobless..iam literally shocked..😢
Thanks for the video. I’ve started talking to myself out loud. I feel great then out of nowhere I just sink and struggle. Really struggle. Is this normal
@@Mensdivorceplaybook What I meant was I’m sure he made positive changes and the new woman is benefiting from it. He probably wants to make everything right this time.
What if you were never married they just made all of this stuff up so they could steal money? And you can't tell the people that they stole it from because the fence are in there playing games
What up with these women just up and say they want a divorce like it nothing. My ex wife had the divorce papers signed and everything while I was thinking things was looking up. I just had a fight with her son i raised for 17 years standing up for her but my reward was divorce papers. I forgot about myself and love her to the point I put myself last. Now I staring from the bottom. I lost everything in my marriage and if I knew better I would made sure I was on top. Instead of helping her through school but do it for myslef, instead of helping with her business, start my business up.
That 100% true facts. I have to love myself before I love somebody else. Which I was lost and thinking loyalty, golden heart, willing to give a kidney transplant will take me so far but wrong. Plus it's all about what you can do for me these days. If I was rich or had a good job where I would still be married . I accepted all her flaws but mine was judged. I'm just month and a half in post divorce so I catching it right now.
I like hearing/seeing stories of women cheating on their husbands, or women filing for divorce after so many years, the husbands are so usually so devastated and distraught. Lmfao!! 😂
Hey June, you do you, whatever makes you at peace. And if spreading this type of message on the internet brings you some sort of fulfillment, I wish you the best.
That is brilliant. You helped me so much with this video. So wise. Thank you
Love it man, thanks for sharing. Ironically the comment before yours told me it was a bunch of crap 🤣
Divorce is the most devastating thing in your life next to a funeral (especially with kids involved and you are the father who can’t see your kids all of the time and pay child support)
God with us all ❤️🤘✝️
Agreed
Depression:
Depression in us men is a funny thing. By nature, we’re logical creatures and we seek to fix things. We see a problem, we see a solution, and we take action. Depression comes when we dont get the desired/ expected result.
When couples go through a breakup, men are at a disadvantage because we dont seem to have the emotional tools that women have when it comes to dealing with the pain and hurt.
Women readily have strong support groups of friends/family that will comfort them while they grieve. While us men have similar support, the message we get just isnt the same.
We open up to our male counterparts, and we get “forget her bro, plenty of fish” or “go bang tons of women to get over her bro”. We’re expected to snap out of it instantly and bounce back like nothing ever happened, and when we dont, we start to get looked at as weak.
The difference between our support groups and theirs is that ours has limited patience, as again, men are logical creatures and won’t tolerate non-responses to their “solutions” for long. Womens’ support groups have the patience and understanding to stand by her for as long as it takes to heal.
Our gender role and expectations of such compel us to drive our feelings deep down, and avoid expressing them. Our inability to freely continue to express our pain leads us to become withdrawn and isolated, which leads to self destructive behavior.
Our minds are constantly analyzing and re-analyzing the situation, still trying to find a logical solution to fix things, yet falling short everytime, because we never take into account the emotional factor in her decision.
Our inability to empathize is what causes us frustration and pain. The rush of emotions that flood our system during those times is what does damage to our psyche, as again, we’re not equipped to anticipate and deal with them properly, since emotions arent part of our nature.
It’s like we short circuit ourselves because we keep entering the solution to an equation, yet the equation doesnt pan out as we expect it to. This is why we lock up and lock down because we keep going through forced reboots of ourselves. These reboots manifest themselves in isolation, drinking/drug usage, amongst other destructive behaviors. We’d give anything to continue to take the blue pill and go back to our relationship matrix, instead of getting a red pill forced down our throats.
I feel that this is why studies show higher rates of suicide in men vs women. We cant deal with our new reality and the cognitive dissonance that comes with seeing and implementing a solution to a problem, yet not getting the result we expected. So since we’re stuck in a logic loop, and cant figure it out, we self destruct as we turn inwards on ourselves and see ourselves as unworthy or unfit to overcome.
This is why some men choose to check out rather than continue to deal with their perceived failure in life. This is especially true if they lost tangible assets like their home, net worth, or custody of their children. It leads to a domino effect of self destruction as they lose their jobs, or their circle of friends, and their mental/physical health. Once they lost it all, one can see why they say “game over”, and choose to end themselves, as they feel that is the one thing they can control.
Although we’ve made great strides in being more accepting of male pain and heartache, we still are woefully unequipped to overcome our grief and pain. It is incumbent upon us as men to fully support our brothers, and understand that there’s not always a “quick fix” to getting over emotional pain.
Avoid giving quick fix responses and just listen and understand your brothers as they grieve and go through the motions. Dont judge em, just listen and understand them. Doesnt make us less manly to do so, it just makes us human. In doing so, you may just save their lives.
This is absolutely true. I got little to no empathy from some of the male "friends" I reached out to when I was going through divorce. And they don't appreciate if you talk to them more than once about the same issue. My ex-wife on the other hand had plenty of support from both men and women. What I realized is that, by default woman is seen as the victim, unless the man prove otherwise. Often times I felt like I had to prove my innocence because the people I interacted with were highly judgmental and wasn't really interested in listening to me but rather believe in what they felt comfortable with.
@@vhdl1234 I feel you 100% January make it a year of my divorce and I still have dreams of my ex wife and it like a nightmare I can't get over. she moved on with no problem and find somebody else.she told me she dont have dreams or anything. Like how , I loved her with everything. She even told me to hate she married me and had a child with me. Like I wasn't already hurting.if it wasnt for god I might would of deleted myslef.which I know she would cared at all. To this day If she was sick i would care.Then this man around my son and buying him stuff like I'm dead or not around. She knew I have a big heart and when she needed help im there but call me everything but a good father and person. I wouldnt had a child if I knew this would happen. Then I try to have a outlet to not hold pain in but people get tired of hearing it and tell me move on. 17 years is a long time to just say forget everything I'm good. That's alot of memories good and bad. Places, events, locations, music you listen to together or movies,holidays etc. We both responsible for the divorce but she the victim. Her family think I'm everything but the man I am so this I want win.even if I try , her heart with another person when my heart is broken.
Yep for men divorce often equals mission failure. Trying in vain to hit rewind yet the tape is long gone. It's about reframing who we are and how we view the world. It's about the realisation that we are not God.
Well said
Well said. Men don't foster deep relationships and support networks like women do. We often face this nightmare alone.
My wife just out of no where told me she wants a divorce told me she was never happy and just rips a happy family apart and is not heartbroken at all it has shattered me so bad and has shattered our two kids I am just lost and confused I don’t know what to do
Hope my videos help my friend
How are you. Going through exactly the same. Out of nowhere hit with it. Not coping very well at moment
Same wife just up and said she quits. We have 3 kids and I've always taken care of my family and provided everything without fail. She is pretending everything is the same as it's ever been and doesn't feel any remorse for destroying our family and all we have built together
@@mavtaku5405 I'm so sorry .. I'm trying to keep ours alive. But I think I'm fighting a loosing battle., I am so very sorry for your heartache. This near killed me, but I am really fighting to save it . Worst I think she's getting me to dance through hoops that she knows I can't. Like you I gave my all, I provided. Free house, she never had to work, 2 kids, and anything that was wanted, it was got.
What up with these women just up and say they want a divorce like it nothing. My ex wife had the divorce papers signed and everything while I was thinking things was looking up. I just had a fight with her son i raised for 17 years standing up for her but my reward was divorce papers. I forgot about myself and love her to the point I put myself last. Now I staring from the bottom. I lost everything in my marriage and if I knew better I would made sure I was on top. Instead of helping her through school but do it for myslef, instead of helping with her business, start my business up.
The only thing worse than being alone is being forgotten by the one you will never forget - In sickness and in health and till death do us part is all bullshit and should be removed from wedding vows - 18 years gone - I kept my promise, but she didn't -
Hey man, I feel for you, but I respectfully disagree. Worse than all of that is losing the love and belief in yourself, and that someone other than you is worth more than your own well being. You will heal, you will get back on your feet, and you will be a better man having gone through this.
Also the family bullshit. Welcome, your part of our family now, until she divorces you then they scatter. The only family you have is the one your born into!!!!
@@Mensdivorceplaybook My divorce ended 12 years ago, but I still find myself emotionally falling down over the 5 year marriage she threw away like some gym membership. No man is better having gone through divorce... because in future romantic relationships you will now be less trusting, more paranoid, the pain of divorce for many never goes away and statistics show if you try marriage again you have a greater chance at failure.
Divorce breaks even a strong man into broken pieces of glass... we must do our best to glue those pieces back together and move on with our lives. Just be aware of your own weaknesses such as being less trusting, more paranoid and the painful memories because if you're not careful you'll sabotage future relationships. My girlfriend today I have stayed with for the last 10 years, but I still have days where I question our future simply because of the betrayal from my x-wife many years ago.
@@NTJedi thanks for opening up and sharing. The fact that you are having feelings like this still, I would hightly recommend you getting into therapy to help you move past these
@@Mensdivorceplaybook The events are part of my life. Painful life experiences make us who we are today. I need my pain.
Separated for a year and divorce to be concluded in a week. She wanted the divorce. I tried to get her back. No joy. Was married for 9 years no kids. Now her family have encouraged her to take me to court for 50 percent of my house, business, apartment and cars. Worked so hard my entire life. Now this is making me suicidal. It’s just too much for me to deal with. Been fighting a really tough battle with depression recently. Can’t leave the house can’t speak to my friends or family. It’s hard. Before all this I was a person people loved to be around. Now ……. Disappearing.
Hey man, thanks for speaking up. You won't see it now, but this is a gift. It will get better. There will come a day when you thank god this happened the way it did. In the meantime, you need to get to taking care of yourself. I hope my videos are helping get you going in the right direction
I am going through a divorce right now - after a year long separation. I'm on good terms with her - which almost makes it harder. I thought I had processed a lot of it during the separation and was "fine" but recently just 2 weeks after the decisions. Lots of difficult pain emotion and grieving the end of this chapter. Also lots of physical pain - lots of migraines and headaches. Trying my best to remind myself that this is all temporary and eventually I will feel better. And that the physical and emotional pain from this is temporary. Thanks for the inspiring words. I'm giving myself permission to not be 100 percent. I'm also dealing with having to sell the house, possibly move and in school for a new career direction all at the same time. Some days i just want to stop trying. maybe I will also give myself a day of nothing soon. Thanks for your wisdom. And for anyone else hearting out there - you aren't alone.
Glad my words could help
Your video finally got me to cry away the pain I was blocking inside. Like speaking to my best friend which is unfortunately miles away and unaccessible. Thank you for the support. It is really helping me through this.
Thanks for commenting. Glad I could help. Best of luck
@Tarra44441 It’s really quite sad how much stupidity you have.
I learn one thing not to let a women have power over you, hearing these things from divorce men makes me don't want to ever get married. I've been through the child support system and having my daughter taken from and forced to pay a massive amount of child support while she destroyed my life and the courts didn't care. It's no different than divorce so I understand your pain.
Your advice help. I’m seeking a support group nearby because I have no friends or family to talk to . This woman was my whole life .
I hope you find what you are looking for. Be sure and check out my other video about 3 tips where I talk about finding social groups not necessarily to talk about your divorce.
Thank you, brother. I am going through it now. Mentally I know it will be ok, but it hurts really bad right now.
Glad I could help. It will get better
They’re plenty of dames out there just go out and get another one and quit crying boohoo.
I very much appreciate your advice. We've been separated since 2018 but I'm still not over it. Even the divorce was not filed. I'm almost pretty sure she's been hurting all this time too. 20 years of marriage, our son is 18, he lives with her in another city. Hard times. Depression. Sometimes taking life away pass through my mind. But self-talk sounds like a great idea. Be positive. And to think like Bruce Lee: let the water flow. Thanks a lot for the wise words.
Thanks for the response. I hope the best for you. Looks like you're making conscious efforts, good luck!
@@Mensdivorceplaybook I'm struggling with depression but with your advice and always praying to my Lord Jesus Christ in behavior of me, my ex, my son. We gonna overcome this. Thank you very much.
@@marcelosinni You got this
I am divorcing for the second time . It was too hard for me to recover from my first divorce . Now thinking about the second one is a nightmare to me. However, I was looking for a way to think possitive and make up my mind . I am glad I found your videos. Thank you so much for this. Hope everything will be better .
I'm pulling for you
2nd time way to go loser.
Lol, lord knows how many convos Ive had with myself after my divorce. It became something normal after a while
Yep!
Even in The Bible Psalm 103, David spoke to his soul. Thank you for this message.
Happy to help
The comfort of Christ is what pulled me thru the darkest times ..without him Id still be there. THANK YOU JESUS 🙏✝️
@@anthonyharmon9265 happy to hear it!
Amazing! Needed to hear this right now, in a very dark place. Thanks 🙏🏻
Happy to hear it. Hopefully you check out some of my others as well
Damn bro I found your channel while separating with my wife on route to divorce. I did my part to provide n protect for her and her twins. Her jealous ways have made me take the decision to leave. And your vids are helping greatly. Thank you
Thanks for the message. Glad these could help, that's what I was aiming for
Short marriage coming to an end but so painful and I could not let go. Your words helped me get through today. Be like water. Thanks brother.
Sorry to hear it. Love the feedback. Best of luck to you
Same boat as you brother
same, 11 months
This is one of the most important videos I have ever listened to. Thank you
🙏🏼 so glad I could help. Best of luck!
Marriage is a suckers game! It’s not 1950 anymore fellas. Adapt to the times. Love doesn’t last social media ruined that for all. Never married, I seen countless men lose it all, while the lady rides off into the sunset with her new lay. Don’t do it guys. Date women that’s fine, but once they move in it’s all downhill!
Cynical, but understandable position. Those words are likely good for someone to hear.
I'm sorry my experience was different, 12 years in it all ended. But I caused the problem due to drinking
She loved me
Spoken from the heart....and true too.!
🙏🏼 those were my intentions
Thank you 👍👍🙏🙏
I have this what you speak of. It sucks !!!
You're welcome! Glad to hear you appreciated it
my 9 years girl left me and told me she deserves better. after 1 month split, she started dating someone new. its been 4 months. i have accepted it but theres not a single minute that she doesnt cross my mind. i hate the feelings. especially everytime i wake up. then the feelings started becoming better thru out the day then tomorrow its the same struggle. i hate the fact that she made the decision and left me dealing with the pain while shes happier. i hate her and everything and love and relationship. its so stupid and such a waste of time
It will get better. if you can, start focusing your thoughts on how you can take better care of you
I'm right there with you. Same story but with 2 kids. Wake uo are the worst. I usually dream of being still married with her and when you open your eyes and notice your actual reality is devastating. Try to live day by day and avoid being to lonely at least during the harder time. Big hug from Chile.
@@hjgg1984
Chile? I thought Latina women were family orientated
Great message. Having experienced it mysel, I couldn't agree more.
Thanks for the share.
Thanks for the comment!
What an amazing and encouraging video...THANK YOU BROTHER! 🙏
Happy it resonated with you. Thanks for the comment!
Great videos. Great advice. Thank you. 10yr marriage. Split up few months ago gave it a 2nd try. Same outcome both unhappy. So far amicable. Splitting everything 50/50. Got 2 girls to coparent now so we need to stay friendly as we can. It's hard as it's still raw. Even though we split last year and gave it another try now it's ended its still upsetting. Need to move on but that's easier said than done!
Thanks! I agree with your statement. What was meaningful to you about my message?
@@Mensdivorceplaybook the water metaphor. Stop trying to control what you can't. Let it go, go with the flow. I felt a wave of comfort and in some ways at peace when I heard and understood what that meant.
@@nathanrinco thanks for sharing! Love that it helped!
Exact same situation Nathan - married 12 years - got divorced a year ago this month - still dealing with it - two beautiful girls coparenting now - easier said than done to move on but I have to - I have developed anxiety, health issues and depression as a result - it sucks but you have to take it day to day - that's what's worked for me - and surround yourself with family and good friends - totally helps!! Good luck!!
This helped me so much. Thank you. 🙏🏼
Glad to help!
If all the pain and suffering can in some bring her back and make you happy.. then I’d say suck it up and push through. But constantly remind your literal and functional mind that it’s all a COMPLETE waste of energy and time grieving for her and she DOESNT DESERVE IT. Find a couple things you really enjoy and do that with all your heart or at least MAKE yourself do them and eventually the pain will go away. Just remember. Don’t make the same mistake again. Let all the bad women whore themselves out for what they need and ruin other men’s lives until they die bitter and alone. Get smarter. Understand the game. Maybe you’ll get lucky and find a good woman… just know going in that they are very rare or already married.. and women lie very very well. Practice made them perfect. Do I sound bitter? I’m being a realist not a pessimist.
I like to think we create our reality. I agree with most of what you wrote, but I frame the end of your comment a little differently in my head
We create much of our reality and the rest is chance and fate. Sure,I love the idea of that. It works with work, dreams, aspirations, etc. But.. we cannot take responsibility for what others do. And as long as we intimately make ourselves vulnerable in the way you are connected to another human being… we are then open to being hurt. 1 million love songs can’t just be written by those who created their own pain and suffering. As men.. we will NEVER know what we cannot understand enough to control its outcome. Also. Some people only get the message when it’s blunt and direct. I’d like to know how you would have worded it differently. No sarcasm. I’m 11 months into separation and 3 weeks away from divorce. I’m happy to be wrong if it helps me.
Excellent video. It is so helpful to me. Thank you!
My pleasure, glad I could help
Not a man obviously lol. But divorce is horrible and its nice to see mens perspective. God bless you all. Men hurt too and i know us women make mistakes
Thanks for the comment
Appreciated this video very much!
Glad it was helpful
A very painful experience, causing a lot of confusion especially amongst young men. If you have God as a friend it's a great thing but whatever your religion it's still painful, so you need to be around people who love you and care about you ,without overwhelming you. Take one day at a time.
True words
Thank you for the videos you do. it really is a shit time in my life right now.
I'm glad I could help. Good luck!
Maybe divorce help man to understand that it is ok to cry. For men it is easier to explore the moon than to deal with his inner feelings. Something that women are more at ease with !
Agreed
Thanks brother. You don't know how much your words impacted me. I'm going stop worrying about the opinions of those who have chosen to disconnect from me.
That sounds like a wise choice. I'm glad I could help
I really appreciate this message. Your videos are helping me a lot.Thank you.
Happy to hear it. Best of luck to you
Man! this a great message that has helped me much
Thanks Abel. Responses like this is what I make these videos for!
Really struggling but the video gave me hope thanks mate!!!!
Glad it helped, hope you've checked out my others
I really needed this man, thank you immensely!!!
Glad to hear it, thanks for letting me know
Thank you. Your videos have helped me tremendously in the first few weeks. I'm still watching your videos. Please make more. This has helped me to be positive.
Hi Jon, happy to hear they've been helpful. Thanks for the push, I know I should make more. What types of videos would you like to see specifically?
@@Mensdivorceplaybook thanks so much for replying. If possible more content about starting to date again, dating anxieties and how to address them, how to trust yourself and others in dating again and how to deal with seeing your child part time -custody (especially when you raised them are are used to seeing them everyday)
@@jonlee2582 those are very good suggestions. I may do a couple RUclips shorts about those topics. I can knock those out quicker and easier
@@Mensdivorceplaybook thank you. You are a lifesaver.
Also can you cover how to start facing and dealing with custody, mediation etc?
I am grateful for these so much!!!! Everything that you said is exactly what I am going through !
I'm glad I could help. Be sure to check out my other videos as well
Thank you for making these kind of videos!!
My pleasure, thanks for comment!
Fuck man, I'm in the beginning of this right now, my wife of 15 years wants me to sign the paperwork and I'm not ready to give up. FML man
Best of luck
I'm one year and three months separated, two weeks divorced I feeling a lot worse I haven't seen my son for two weeks life for me is not going well
how did it go?
MEN supporting other men thanks
I'm all for it
Great words man!
Thanks George, hope you are well
I have dought..while my divorce case is going on now..i Think she Has affair..its not like about right..3veryone have .but as a men we are loyal from begging....but why She is acting like independent women..n iam jobless..iam literally shocked..😢
I wish you the best of luck
Thank you so much.
Glad I could help
Thanks for the video. I’ve started talking to myself out loud. I feel great then out of nowhere I just sink and struggle. Really struggle. Is this normal
It’s totally normal. It’ll be a roller coaster of ups and downs but eventually it’ll level out
Please make more videos
Anything specific you'd like to see?
😭😭😭😭😭😭😭my husband sent me divorce ,i am in so much pain ,😭😭😭
Best of luck, hope the videos help
This was excellent and super helpful. Thanks man.
Thanks David, glad it helped
Thanks for all you do
Glad I could help
Yes I’m sure he made positive changes. All for the new woman he’s with. 😱
Correction, I made the changes for myself. I feel for you if you're going through life thinking women are the enemy
@@Mensdivorceplaybook What I meant was I’m sure he made positive changes and the new woman is benefiting from it. He probably wants to make everything right this time.
@@Msterri4u Ah, true. Sorry for misinterpreting. I see a lot of the other
Thanks man, I needed this.
Glad I could help
Great talk thx brother
My pleasure, good luck to you
Going through this. 😶
Best of luck!
Check out the rest of my latest videos
its been 1 year .i dont knoe how to deal with this pain😭
Well you came to the right place. Check out the rest of my videos
Just move on guys. Your ex sure ain't gonna sit around and cry over spilt milk so why should you?
It's not exactly that easy for everyone
In any divorce situation, if kids are not involved, that's OK. It won't be so painful. .Especially, if it was a short term marriage.
What if you were never married they just made all of this stuff up so they could steal money?
And you can't tell the people that they stole it from because the fence are in there playing games
What up with these women just up and say they want a divorce like it nothing. My ex wife had the divorce papers signed and everything while I was thinking things was looking up. I just had a fight with her son i raised for 17 years standing up for her but my reward was divorce papers. I forgot about myself and love her to the point I put myself last. Now I staring from the bottom. I lost everything in my marriage and if I knew better I would made sure I was on top. Instead of helping her through school but do it for myslef, instead of helping with her business, start my business up.
Best of luck man. I hear you, you need to take care of yourself before you can be in a position to help another
That 100% true facts. I have to love myself before I love somebody else. Which I was lost and thinking loyalty, golden heart, willing to give a kidney transplant will take me so far but wrong. Plus it's all about what you can do for me these days. If I was rich or had a good job where I would still be married . I accepted all her flaws but mine was judged. I'm just month and a half in post divorce so I catching it right now.
@@tyrone795 You're in the thick of it right now. You will get better
It hurts man I confess.
No doubt, best of luck
Only answer is to get your passport
🙏
Glad I could help
My best friends decided to date my ex wife......
That's not right. Sounds like it's time for new friends
I don’t even wanna gf
There's no rush
It’s sad but true ,tbf I just mostly enjoy my life
@@Mensdivorceplaybook lol yes there is I’m 54 lol never had a serious gf ,I look about in my 30s though
I tell my best friend not to get married 🤣🤣🤣
Good advice 50% of the time
I like hearing/seeing stories of women cheating on their husbands, or women filing for divorce after so many years, the husbands are so usually so devastated and distraught. Lmfao!! 😂
Hey June, you do you, whatever makes you at peace. And if spreading this type of message on the internet brings you some sort of fulfillment, I wish you the best.
Are you fucked in the head
The same useless advice offered by everyone.