Finding Yourself After Divorce
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- Опубликовано: 27 авг 2024
- Finding yourself after a divorce can be hard. You have spent a lot of time with your ex and may find that you don't even know who you are anymore.
The good news is, now is the perfect time to start acting on the person you want to become. Start seeking all those things you've always wanted to do and do them.
Today, we discuss how you can find yourself and become that person you've always wanted to be.
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This is so painful to watch ! 17 years with the Same person and I am totally lost and lonely ! 😤
I can’t find any enjoyment in life ! So fuxkin depressed and lost ! I miss family life so much !
Find something to build brother. Work on yourself and get that bad energy out. Join a group of people to get out and do something you love. You got this.
@@DiscoverIgnite thank you for the reply x
30 years and he had become so abusive that a protection order was granted. Very very hard to start form scratch at 60 and have just spent two years assimilating all the grief, pain and loss. I dont think I will ever get over it. Its o hard being single and having to learn how to make decisions by mysef again. Ill get there.
I pray every night that I die peaceful.
Because its very hard .
I feel this
@bilalbill8609 You will take your last breath while satan is laughing his ass off waiting to accompany you to the furry gates of hell.
Same here brother
This is exactly what I needed to hear at this time! I am truly grateful for these words Sir!
Our greater strengths and true joys have merely been set aside and forgotten! Or simply yet to be discovered! 💪🏽😤
Last month of my deployment and my wife starts developing with one of the neighbors. I helped him frame his garage. This crushes a man. No loyalty or integrity anymore. Soldiers away serving his country and a civilian swoops in to help the wife. Ultimate betrayal. 16 years down the drain. My head spins everyday. Thank god I get to see my kids again in a few days. So dam broken.
Good to keep your kids in focus. Build something for you and them. Helps with the situation.
Don’t drink ,don’t go down a drugs hole ,first thing in the morning collect your thoughts ,nice steady start to the day
I'm in the middel of a divorce right now. We been together for 13 years and this December I'm turning 30. im still young and building a new life and be a good dad for my 2 daughters is Terifying for me.. beside all that i will be all alone. I'm losing so many family members now. It's a big part of my life wich is now gone. It hurts like hell.
31 here I am going trough the same. Have a one year old. I was a business owner with my In laws. Lost that as well and all future gains. I moved 1 hour away. I feel you and you are not alone.
After 30 years marriage, we had beautiful life decent life financially. I’m very heartbroken, and I miss my kids, destroyed my future, financially mentally and destroyed, my kids future financially and mentally and emotionally.
Same here brother....the loss of my kids hurt the worst
Just got divorced, I’m lost. I don’t even know who I am anymore. Used to have a busy household two kids a wife and a cat. Now it’s just me. Waiting to go to sleep and wake up again. I have no thoughts or ideas. I’ll probably grow old and become that lonely old neighbor nobody talks to.
The best thing to do is start building something for yourself. Whether that's your body or your mind, business, or something else. Helps take the focus off what you don't have and create something for yourself and your kids. Whatever it is, make sure is something that is a positive addition to your life.
Keep strong mate you got this hit that training hard weights cycling martial arts not sure how old you are but its never too late kill her with you're success
I feel like I've lost myself and I don't want to do anything without my ex. I feel I can't be happy without him. Everytime I think about doing something...I'm too lazy and depressed to do it. I'm 36, almost 37 and feel my life is over
Hi, how are you doing now?
@lemonde1701 I am doing okay. I had to put my dog to sleep on the 27th and my birthday was the 29th. My husband took me out as a "friend" the less time I spend with him it forces me to become more independent. I'm starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Some days I think it's for the best, and then other days I feel I can't breath without him.
Thinking about dating in today's world, and at my age...makes me depressed
@@lscheffer87 You're only 37 lol. I've been there, was just before Xmas. The important thing is to focus on yourself, treat yourself better than you treated him, make it a goal you'll see there will be a shift, you'll be ok 100%
@@lemonde1701 thank you
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.. i started journaling and being more intentional in raising my son as a solo parent... i lost so many hobbies trying to adjust my life after marriage..im going back to it slowly and also find a new job because my ex sucked my finances dry. But im going to be fine im out that narcissistic blackhole.. my son and i deserve so much better. Thanks for this advice.
I've never been married before and haven't even dated in forever, yet, intentionally exploring strengths and challenges of relationships and marriage in order to prepare for my Future Husband and I. Thank You for sharing🙂
Thank you. 25 year down the drain. I’m so broken This made me feel better.
After almost 20 years of marriage, and the last year being the worst year. We agreed to get divorced. I feel like a huge weight was lifted of my chest. It doesn’t bother me, that she takes half of everything. I’m finally at peace with myself. The rain has stopped and the sun is coming out.
Out of all the divorce videos I watched. This one is by far the best.
Thank you sir!!!
Glad I can give you peace of mind.
This feels like advice for people who were well off prior to the D. I have lost everything including my job because of it. I just hope they have kicked the shit out of me enough to where there is no more to kick, because there is not. All things that made me happy are stuck in a house I have no access to anymore. It can only go up from here at this point.
💯 true ! When you have lost everything that was precious , starting again will never be the same !
I am totally fuxked to ! Lost a lovely partner and no longer dad to two children 24/7 !
The two of you need to replace your sorrows with personal positive passions, people and places. There you will regenerate and find your happiness again and not survive but Thrive😊
How does getting a divorce cause you to lose a job?
Good advice bro. I see negative comments not about you but the person commenting. You have 2 choices plain and simple!! You are gonna live or you’re gonna die !! Live dam it LIVE!!!
I don’t wanna do anything, been in a slumber mood for 5 months straight. 8 year marriage ruined by the in laws. Now they are trying to get 150k lump sum or go through family court for possibly more. It was the best marriage. Imagine the pain. Smoking 🚬 all day to cope. Absolutely crushing.
Last week I ran my first 5k without stopping and all the time I could hear the voice in my head saying that I can do it. Forwago, thank you so much for everything!!
That's great! Keep going strong. You got this!
To prevent robot abuse, you are required to complete human verification by upvoting and replying to the highlighted comments below.
Nbvvff
sounds good, I will definitely give it a try
@@pilarsunnah2731 we must prevent robot abuse! Team robot!
i was im a hate filled abusive relationship for 25 years, no kind words, never a kiss, i stayed until the kids we're up, when i finally left my ex and her family turned my kids against me, i feel very alone, should i of stuck the hatred to see my kids, it was a very bad life, i hope i find some peace and contentment, happiness seems a mountain to high
Same boat. 30 yrs, gone! All my eggs in her basket. I have no one (no family of my own). Covid19 isolation definitely aint helping. Oh man, gonna be along year, but we MUST start to manifest positivity & reprogram our thoughts. Can't cling to the past/memories. It's a process. Hang in there buddy. Reply back if you like.
@@carsteng286 gotta stay strong, yes ypu can live in the past,I'm still working so getting out, rebuild yourself friend, this wont last forever, rushing into another relationship won't make you happy, take your time, if your kids have been poisoned, turned against you, all you can do is hope in time they come back, stay positive 👍
Never look back past is a wilderness of horrors. I speak for myself Best thing is to be with those who are happy. Meet new people who do differnt things. Dont sit on your own. As far as kids are concerned they are your kids. But remember they dont go to grave with you. If you cope with loneliness you can do anything. In life everything is not rosy. Have faith in yourself and you will see things turning around
You will. Just give it time. Heal yourself first.
I actually can’t wait. She’s a great woman but my infidelity has made her see me as evil. I’m tired of being that evil guy. She needs to go heal herself, she doesn’t behave like a lovable person. I can’t wait to be free.
Self improvement brothers is the best thing start small then snowball from there 🧘🏼♂️many decisions a day is a win ….
They compound over the week and months good food gym life and good sleep then don’t forget at least one day a week to just not think about stress bills or anything important I call it fun day for me I meditate for at least an hour that day also no set schedule just a live in the moment day goals is a must right them down check them off as far as dating it’s not worth it fr after divorce I dated one girl right after I separated she was only worried about locking me down to her narrative I just wanted someone to talk with and dinner date some time but wasn’t enough for her so now I just eat dinner by myself and listen to pod cast also don’t forget to think about your new career you wanted to do but couldn’t because the relationship kept you from doing it for me always wanted to drive truck for a bit but didn’t because of being on the road so now my situation will allow for it so going for it YOLO stay strong brothers
Thank you for your words of wisdom! Long story short I gave up everything for my marriage and was never respected at all! 15 years of being loyal but not perfect I’ve learned from my mistakes. Now I’m going on 5 years not being in a relationship and yes I am doing me and living my life. This is great encouragement!!
I hate to see this after a friends marriage detonated after 21 years and 2 kids ex decides to file AFTER removing him from the house through phony DCFS charges. This story recycles in all of us so many times we get played/dumped and they move on with all the benefits the courts can offer them; this so damages men and yet our courts throw us under the bus everytime! I watch form the sidelines and when a girl asks me "where is this relationship going?" I already know she's sizing me up for the payoff. I guess the only way out for men is just leave women alone till they figure out, after they hit that wall, they played themselves. Sorry you had to face this but it looks like you are safely on your way back to sanity and learning the painful lessons life teaches.
How do you survive the work day during a divorce? Mine is over with and she’s out of the house, but I still struggle every day emotionally at work.
Me too sir- I am yet to file divorce, but she cheated
@@Saukingalpha I’m sorry, man
@@saxabass it's been a few months, any updates? How you doing now?
@@phabeondominguez5971 I still have bad days but I’m definitely in a better head space now.
@@saxabass d@m, that awesome to hear, specifically compared to your original comment. Care to share how you got there, for those of us in yo same struggle from a few months ago?
Life is not fare sometimes,but it can force you...
I listen to this daily because I'm struggling to forgive a spouse that cheated thr entire time.
As a man that’s going through a divorce I can tell you the only reason why he cheated is cause you made sex become a chore.. women want monogamy but will do zero work to actually fulfill it.. I’m sure he loves you dearly and will die for you but you lacking to keep his attention sexually
@@seanchris7509 absolute facts
I am here after 28 years, i dont know who i am or if i'll be anything ever again. Thrown away like garbage.
Thanks for the advice. This really helped.
I work all the time so i dont have to try and fill those empty hours. I know this isnt healthy. And i know i will never find anyone else if alls i do is work. Its a terrible work life balanace.
Sounds like you need to find what is your priority. You passionate about your work?
This was extremely helpful
Thank you, I needed to hear this today.
hope your building a new life
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My wife just walked away after 15 years of marriage.. this is definitely a great way to think and thank you!
if anyone needs some motivation, start right now because if u don’t, a year from now u would’ve wished u started earlier. do it so your future self will thank u!!
I have just wasted 6 months in freeze mode. Can you believe that ? 6 months like a hermit.
Just got separated with my wife of 7 years with two kids. Can't formally divorce them cause they are on spousal visa they will be deported and i will loose my kids. can't chase them out of the house either because they can't afford but we realised we can't be together. Going through toughest moments of my life. I'm trying to rebuild myself ignore them love my kids and pray, gymn. I'm doing all for my kids. I will be a strong man after this 😢.
Im going thru something simular..Does she have her green card?
Thank you so much for this..
I wanted a Baby after 10 years marriage from my wife and she went to her mother's house . (She is 42 Y old ) A month has passed now. There is no call, no news, and I am trying to get used to his absence. Thanks for the video
I wish you the best brother!
How are you now brother?
thank you, very helpful ,thumbs up.
Thank You for the good words
Yeah I needed to hear this as well I'm 3weeks in was totally blindsided
Me too .. so hard ..2 weeks into hell
@@bellum99 me too - just over a month in hell - good to know I’m not alone ☹️
One week in. I’m filled with regret. But trying to push through.
Thank you. This was very much needed. I appreciate the authenticity and realness. I am recently divorced and as you said "It's okay." Thank you for this video.
Thanks, brother.
Your words are so supporting. Man I'd like to sit and have beer with you.
For sure brother. Got to keep pressing on. We got this.
Me too!
Very encouraging words
Appreciate this... 😢
This helped. Thank you.
Glad I could help :)
This was amazing
Beautiful!
Going through a divorce right now cause my wife envied me cause I was progressing and making more money.. She went through a midlife crisis and blamed me for her depression.. I tried to help her through it but since she envied me no advice I gave mattered to her.. she then asked me to be in a open marriage and when I denied it and asked for a divorce cause what’s the point she now blames me for the failed marriage..
Don't give advice to women, just listen and agree and that's all. Women hate men who give advice than just listen to her.
I do serioulsy think you are better off!
Just start...I haven't yet....she is still very strong in my thoughts at night. But it's a slow process for me. She just disappeared on me and the kids and no contact...I don't want to go back so I have chosen to hide us from her...she was a drunk....a liar and abusive to the kids as well as me. Being 47 now I'm worried...I really put all my eggs in one basket emotionally and I am not sure about my future...but hearing these messages helps.
great job!
Thank you brotha…
Thanks
I really needed that. I've been divorced now for since 2012 or 2013 and have never spent time trying to rediscover myself. I got divorced and immediately went into a relationship with a coworker who was helping during my divorce. I knew that I shouldn't have dated her but I was lonely hurt confused and scared. My relationship with my son had broken it was a very rough time for me. I dated that woman unsuccessfully for 4 years and a week after I broke up with her I started dating another one and a year after dating her, I broke it off and started dating another woman that I cheated on with her. Now I'm ready to leave her because I'm still not happy. I've never taken the time to heal and process from my divorce. I've just been running on autopilot. I'll be 55 in July it's time to heal
Thank you
Thanks!
After my 3rd Divorce it does not get easier, Married for the 4th time don’t let divorce put you off. I’m the happiest I’ve been the whole of my life. Living the dream.
Well said Sir there is life after divorce. Don’t be afraid of divorce your not on your own, use divorce as a stepping stone.
Awesome..
Very helpful. Thank you ❤️
Thank you thank you thank you !!!
:)
Thank u
Awesome!
Word!
ijust filed for divorce. i am scared. lonely.
20.5 years marriage. i cant see my kids. i feel like i lost everything
Scared of the uncertainty?
Man I used to coach/play soccer, I went to the beach dang near everyday, I had friends. Now NOTHING! the struggle I'm going to have to go through I'm literally at day 5 of the rest of my life and I feel HELPLESS!
I hope things have improved for you man. I’m a month into this as well. Same boat. It feels like I got kicked out of my whole life.
Thank you!!! I needed this so much today
I needed to hear this 🙌
Any advice with finding some kind of local support group?
You can try meetups.com to find groups. What I have always used to find like-minded groups.
Great video, it will help a lot of people struggling in the aftermath.
Thank you for this video. I thought I was doing great and moving on after my div. Everything went down when he introduced me girlfriend. I also noticed that, I wasn't working to rebuild my identity.
Divorce is a crushing experience for all of us regardless of how it happens. Thanks for this video. Like you, I'm trying to reach people going through the same by sharing my own videos where I discuss my personal experiences dealing with divorce. It's been 8 years since the separation and I've had to do a lot of personal work (the process continues), but I'm still moving forward. Thanks again for your content.
Thank for this video. My wife told me she wanted a divorce yesterday and I'm completely heart 💔. I really thought that we would be together forever
I'm sorry to hear brother. Glad the video helpes.
My wife filed in February. It still breaks me.
@@irvingg.1437 I know it's hard hang in there and try to keep yourself busy to keep your mind off it and keep your spirits up.
@@UNCNCAAChamps you too man. Its amazing to be with a person for such a long time and still be a Stanger at the end.
Very helpful thank you brother. The struggle is real
Great video dude. Good advice that I needed
Thank you!
Brilliant
Thank you!
This is amazing i needed it
Thank you brother I needed to hear this, my wife divorced me 2 days ago.
Damn my brother...I feel your pain 😢😞 mine in February
This meant a lot. Thank you for posting.
So... have fun? Ok. I can do that. From now on I'm going to have way more fun. Well, ok... I'm going to focus on fun. And I'll let what happens happen. Thank you.
Thank you for this...it made me feel a lot better today
Thank you for this.
More videos please! Hahahaha. Thank you.
Anything in particular?
@@DiscoverIgnite dad's dealing with young children after separation or divorce I.e pick ups drop offs what and how's. The mind games the wives play to emotionally breakdown an already broken man. Swooping you in with fake hope and then drops u but you have to be around for the kids
@@DiscoverIgnite im not sure if you made a video about this but if you did it would be helpful. thinking that i cant go to school because i cant do anything and im not smart enough to do anything. And im never gonna make it.
@@Idiotboiy I'm guessing you've already watched it?
You got deballed.
Almost a month and it still hasn’t set in
Rebuilding is hard after many years of marriage. I try and take baby steps every day and don't backslide. Be the best person that you can be on all levels. You'll miss them and you'll cherish the memories, but they are not part of your future.
Thank you for this words..
I love the profile pic. I listen to the same music.
Hi Ryan.
Hope you make great progress.
one thing I would add is that so many people kept saying "baby steps" to me, and that made me feel so much more set back. probably doesn't matter to many people, but i found that part damaging for me. words affect everyone but some more than others.
I'm trying. I can't sleep and its been a year since my divorce. It's hard. Keep pushing foward
@@berec52 😊😊😊😊😊😊