Yes I went through the same thing, I will never forget the pain anger, frustration, shame, resentment, bitterness, hatred, etc! But God through time brought some healing although I don't think you really never fully get over a divorce specially when you didn't want it
I feel you brother , I am a Nurse and when this type of situation occurred with me , I was extremely concerned that I would make a mistake at work . That was a very unsettling time of my life . United We Stand 🇺🇸
Thanks for the honest video. Crying has helped me release a lot of emotion. And I totally agree that you have to protect your own mind. Rationalising and ruminating over what-if's doesn't help and only makes you feel worse.
Thank you so much for this. Right now I'm staring divorce in the face and I didn't know how to handle it. I'm my life I haven't been around men who were close to me that had experienced a divorce, so I had no clue how to deal with it until now. Thank you so much for the tips about controlling my thoughts. As of right now my thoughts are causing more pain than the actual problems with my wife. So from the bottom of my heart, thank you.
I miss my son every day and am being taken to the cleaners. Women use every piece of the justice system as a weapon and men have nothing to fight back with. Just take it and suck it up, right? She already strangled all your relationships before her and you let it happen. Don’t ever forget this experience. Don’t let it make you dismiss future relationships, but clearly be more conscious about the relationships you choose. Keep fighting and don’t drink too much. I think it gets better. Maybe I will update this in 16 years.
2022, the hell-filled year of my life. My wife not speaking to me for 6 months. Then an email from a lawyer that she was seeking a divorce. Living separately in the home. I still had hopes of reconciling. No, her behavior got worse. Hostility, cruel words, extremely hard words to hear from a person you loved for 20+ years. Ok, she insisted that I get out in Aug, she was keeping the house and the kids. After almost 40 years of being out on my own, I went home with the clothes on my back. In Aug my brother passed away. In Oct I had to bury my father. No sympathy from her. Wanted to know when her lawyer would hear from my lawyer and to sign over Title of my vehicle. Meanwhile I sleep on a gel mattress on the floor. I eat frozen dinners. No one to talk to. I'm alone here all day and my heart eats itself alive re-living the happier times. Miserable Thanksgiving. I went from being "a wonderful husband" to "a stinking poison" in 12 month's time. No one on God's earth deserves to go thru this. I don't even know that I did anything wrong to her other than she suddenly got tired of being married and wanted to be free. I'm not sure where to get help. Tried therapy and it went into this cognitive behavior stuff that wasn't really doing anything for me.
Joseph, I'm sorry to hear this, I feel for you. I hope you found my other videos on the topic. I wouldn't give up on therapy, it sounds like you could use the help and support. Best of luck
At 55 yrs old I went through the same thing brother. After 20 years she just wanted out. No warning....nothing. We had just moved to another state and bought a nice house. The initial shock was unbearable and went on for a few weeks. She didn't want therapy and didn't even want to talk about it. She didn't say it but it was pretty obvious she met someone else which made it worse. 20 years of accumulated belongings and intertwined lives were gone. I just couldn't understand. In those first days nothing really helped. I just white knuckled it, talked to friends and family and tried not commit suicide. I walked, hiked and ran a lot....do something physical to reduce the stress! I decided to quit a job I really liked and moved 1800 miles back to my hometown to be closer to my family. I moved into a sh*t apartment on a sh*it side of town, sleeping on a blowup mattress. I'm still here deciding on what I should do. Since then my mom got cancer, my dad fell down the steps and spent 2 months in the hospital. I spent my weekends driving 400 miles each way to visit. He is still recovering but the father I knew is gone. Anyway, what has been working for me was making a commitment to take care of myself. This means understanding that I was worth taking care of. Firstly this meant securing my job and making sure I was doing a good job. If I can work, I can make money. If I can make money I can rebuild. Second was eating right. I was generally healthy but started a more plant based diet. I read, watched, researched about healthy lifestyles and diets. This also meant I needed to learn how to cook. Third, I worked out. I ran, biked and swam enough to do a short triathlon. I read, watched and researched how to become better, faster and stronger. It was a good healthy distraction from what was going on around me. Please take advantage of the therapy. If you don't like the direction it's going you steer the conversation or find someone else. It regards to her, if at all possible always take the high road. Don't stoop to here level if she's going to difficult. It maybe too soon yet but start asking questions about what kind of life you want to live, where do you want to be, what kind of person do you want to be, what makes you happy, what makes you unhappy, what makes you feel good, what/who inspires you. Yesterday I signed up on a dating site. There is no way I thought I would get to that point. Even if it doesn't work out the real point is I'm ready to do it!
I understand what you mean about expressing ur emotion. Especially in the car, alone, releasing negative thoughts though harsh yelling. This was very useful. And, i am relieved to learn your boy made it in the end. What a treasure. Much love,
I'm in so much pain... i can't even see the kids. it's been 2 weeks and no idea when I can see them. ex who lived with me with kids. suddenly served me with emergency protection order after simple budget disagreement few weeks ago. I'm out of my own home and totally lost
I'm a bit late to the party but that was exactly what I needed to hear. Thanks for posting this. I think I'm going to be doing a lot of screaming in the coming months.
It’s sad and I kinda of hate to say it. I’m a very spiritual person raised up as a Christian. I got married threw church and did everything I thought was correct took a marriage course while going to church I’m 32yrs old now 10 yrs ago I decided to get serious with my ex wife. Long story short this video has been more helpful to me than any other video talking about divorce and how to cope with the madness that comes with I guess it has a lot to do with keeping everything spiritual in church witch I totally understand not trying to talk bad about other peoples beliefs or religion but I got more help from you than any other place I looked for help thank you so much for having consideration and empathy towards mens going threw these hard times may God keep blessing you and your family you have no idea how you impacted my life You played a big part as of why I’m still alive y
Thank you Samuel for the heart felt message. Hearing things like this is why I've made these videos. I make these in hopes I will be able to help at least one person. Thank you for the confirmation
So true- I am 60, just was blindsided with a divorce and I have never felt this much pain. Heart ripped out, walls closing in, thoughts taking over entire brain so I cannot work, etc. Three days now. How long does this last?
Its going to take some time. It will take longer if you don't learn some positive coping mechanisms. I try to provide some for you with my videos and book
Yes I went through the same thing, I will never forget the pain anger, frustration, shame, resentment, bitterness, hatred, etc!
But God through time brought some healing although I don't think you really never fully get over a divorce specially when you didn't want it
Thanks for chiming in. Hope all is well now
@@Mensdivorceplaybook yes thank you and God bless, God helps us when we allow him to deal with the pain.
I feel you brother ,
I am a Nurse and when this type of situation occurred with me , I was extremely concerned that I would make a mistake at work .
That was a very unsettling time of my life .
United We Stand 🇺🇸
“Emotional Intelligence”
A good book on how emotions occur and influence one’s brain 🧠
Amazing videos, very helpful exactly what we need to heal❤
🙏🏼 Glad to help
Thanks for the honest video. Crying has helped me release a lot of emotion. And I totally agree that you have to protect your own mind. Rationalising and ruminating over what-if's doesn't help and only makes you feel worse.
Thanks for the feedback!
I agree with that!
Pure unconditional love right there. You're so blessed. Good things await you.
You are so kind, thank you
Thank you so much for this. Right now I'm staring divorce in the face and I didn't know how to handle it. I'm my life I haven't been around men who were close to me that had experienced a divorce, so I had no clue how to deal with it until now. Thank you so much for the tips about controlling my thoughts. As of right now my thoughts are causing more pain than the actual problems with my wife. So from the bottom of my heart, thank you.
Thanks Robert, happy I could help. Best of luck to you. I'm sure you will come out the other side a better man
I miss my son every day and am being taken to the cleaners. Women use every piece of the justice system as a weapon and men have nothing to fight back with. Just take it and suck it up, right? She already strangled all your relationships before her and you let it happen. Don’t ever forget this experience. Don’t let it make you dismiss future relationships, but clearly be more conscious about the relationships you choose. Keep fighting and don’t drink too much. I think it gets better. Maybe I will update this in 16 years.
I feel your pain, best of luck
2022, the hell-filled year of my life. My wife not speaking to me for 6 months. Then an email from a lawyer that she was seeking a divorce. Living separately in the home. I still had hopes of reconciling. No, her behavior got worse. Hostility, cruel words, extremely hard words to hear from a person you loved for 20+ years. Ok, she insisted that I get out in Aug, she was keeping the house and the kids. After almost 40 years of being out on my own, I went home with the clothes on my back. In Aug my brother passed away. In Oct I had to bury my father. No sympathy from her. Wanted to know when her lawyer would hear from my lawyer and to sign over Title of my vehicle. Meanwhile I sleep on a gel mattress on the floor. I eat frozen dinners. No one to talk to. I'm alone here all day and my heart eats itself alive re-living the happier times. Miserable Thanksgiving. I went from being "a wonderful husband" to "a stinking poison" in 12 month's time. No one on God's earth deserves to go thru this. I don't even know that I did anything wrong to her other than she suddenly got tired of being married and wanted to be free. I'm not sure where to get help. Tried therapy and it went into this cognitive behavior stuff that wasn't really doing anything for me.
Joseph, I'm sorry to hear this, I feel for you. I hope you found my other videos on the topic. I wouldn't give up on therapy, it sounds like you could use the help and support. Best of luck
At 55 yrs old I went through the same thing brother. After 20 years she just wanted out. No warning....nothing. We had just moved to another state and bought a nice house. The initial shock was unbearable and went on for a few weeks. She didn't want therapy and didn't even want to talk about it. She didn't say it but it was pretty obvious she met someone else which made it worse. 20 years of accumulated belongings and intertwined lives were gone. I just couldn't understand. In those first days nothing really helped. I just white knuckled it, talked to friends and family and tried not commit suicide. I walked, hiked and ran a lot....do something physical to reduce the stress!
I decided to quit a job I really liked and moved 1800 miles back to my hometown to be closer to my family. I moved into a sh*t apartment on a sh*it side of town, sleeping on a blowup mattress. I'm still here deciding on what I should do. Since then my mom got cancer, my dad fell down the steps and spent 2 months in the hospital. I spent my weekends driving 400 miles each way to visit. He is still recovering but the father I knew is gone.
Anyway, what has been working for me was making a commitment to take care of myself. This means understanding that I was worth taking care of. Firstly this meant securing my job and making sure I was doing a good job. If I can work, I can make money. If I can make money I can rebuild. Second was eating right. I was generally healthy but started a more plant based diet. I read, watched, researched about healthy lifestyles and diets. This also meant I needed to learn how to cook. Third, I worked out. I ran, biked and swam enough to do a short triathlon. I read, watched and researched how to become better, faster and stronger. It was a good healthy distraction from what was going on around me.
Please take advantage of the therapy. If you don't like the direction it's going you steer the conversation or find someone else.
It regards to her, if at all possible always take the high road. Don't stoop to here level if she's going to difficult.
It maybe too soon yet but start asking questions about what kind of life you want to live, where do you want to be, what kind of person do you want to be, what makes you happy, what makes you unhappy, what makes you feel good, what/who inspires you.
Yesterday I signed up on a dating site. There is no way I thought I would get to that point. Even if it doesn't work out the real point is I'm ready to do it!
@@bro7269 Thanks for sharing.
@@Mensdivorceplaybook I'm trying.
@@josepha9313 Give yourself some grace, all we can do is try our best
I have bad thoughts still and barely sleep. But all the bad is directed at me by me. Just a self hatred of one’s self
You aren't doing yourself any favors. You need to learn to talk to yourself like your own best friend
I understand what you mean about expressing ur emotion. Especially in the car, alone, releasing negative thoughts though harsh yelling. This was very useful. And, i am relieved to learn your boy made it in the end. What a treasure. Much love,
Thanks Tim
I'm in so much pain... i can't even see the kids. it's been 2 weeks and no idea when I can see them. ex who lived with me with kids. suddenly served me with emergency protection order after simple budget disagreement few weeks ago. I'm out of my own home and totally lost
Did things get better?
Thank you....going through the think of it now. Life saving words!
Best of luck, thanks for the comment
Going through this now. Thank you Sir.
Glad you found the video then
I'm a bit late to the party but that was exactly what I needed to hear. Thanks for posting this. I think I'm going to be doing a lot of screaming in the coming months.
Glad I could help Thomas. Best of luck
It’s sad and I kinda of hate to say it. I’m a very spiritual person raised up as a Christian. I got married threw church and did everything I thought was correct took a marriage course while going to church I’m 32yrs old now 10 yrs ago I decided to get serious with my ex wife. Long story short this video has been more helpful to me than any other video talking about divorce and how to cope with the madness that comes with I guess it has a lot to do with keeping everything spiritual in church witch I totally understand not trying to talk bad about other peoples beliefs or religion but I got more help from you than any other place I looked for help thank you so much for having consideration and empathy towards mens going threw these hard times may God keep blessing you and your family you have no idea how you impacted my life You played a big part as of why I’m still alive y
Thank you Samuel for the heart felt message. Hearing things like this is why I've made these videos. I make these in hopes I will be able to help at least one person. Thank you for the confirmation
@@Mensdivorceplaybook Thank you more and I will definitely be encouraging your videos.looking forward to more of your motivational videos 🙏🏽
@@samuelbaez4153 That's very kind of you
So true- I am 60, just was blindsided with a divorce and I have never felt this much pain. Heart ripped out, walls closing in, thoughts taking over entire brain so I cannot work, etc. Three days now. How long does this last?
Its going to take some time. It will take longer if you don't learn some positive coping mechanisms. I try to provide some for you with my videos and book
4 years after my 12 year relationship ended and. I still hurt every day
My heart eats itself alive over and over contemplating the good years
Well done. Helpful empathy and tips.
Glad you think so!