📚 Pre-order my book to get an exclusive ticket to The Feel-Good Productivity Annual Planning Workshop! www.feelgoodproductivity.com/?+Evidence-Based+Tips+that+Helped+Me+Find+Love
I like how you’ve extended your channel into improving your personal life! Sometimes productivity channels can feel so about the grind culture that we forget to have lives outside of it.
Throwing away any lists or Expectations is such a great advice nowadays. But this one works for finding a person you are genuinely interested in. For marriage,or any longtime commitment however ,there absolutely needs to be a list . That list isn't of Shallow things like Height or Income. It's much more of a list of things you need to clear up /have a discussion about before. Like - If you want kids or not,What are your religious views ,How accepting they are of your culture,how do they define a healthy marriage Excetra excetra.
I just got out of a relationship fairly recently but I didn't go into that relationship with any kind of checklist expectation. And I think that's why it was so successful during the first, second and third date. It may not have led to marriage or whatever, but it was a great first relationship that was truly genuine.
I think one word can summarize this entire video and its: humility. We are all human, we all have amazing qualities, flaws, and everything else in between. Give people chances, and more chances, and chances are you will find love.
@@enonz761actually, that’s kind of approach that often ends up in unsuccessful dating. Of course, you want someone who you have a good connection and dynamic with. But this is exactly the kind of thing that can be built. What can’t be done, is fix a manipulator, who is exactly the type of person who will most often give you a “spark” with their manipulation, charm and attractiveness.
I feel like these are tips to find a boyfriend/girlfriend. To marry someone there is a list. Do they have the same religious views, if they want kids, political views and if they accept your culture/if they have the same culture and blah
Honestly the best relationships I've had were when I was not looking for one, I put myself out there through hobbies instead and met lots of new people and eventually that's how I met my current bf. It feels way more natural this way and we were actually friends first. But I totally get the frustration, I was on the apps for a while and it was so frustrating and dehumanizing
100% agree. Sometimes living your life with the sole purpose of dating-marrying makes you seem a bit.. desperate?? find things you like, hobbies, sports, your job, having good times with your friends, anything. Anything that involves even a bit of communication with other people (even online) might lead to a mutual interest & it feels much more natural. Also, try to live in the moment, don't let your life pass by thinking about the "ideal love life" you would want. The best experiences I've lived are with people I never thought I would
Honestly, just take it easy and follow your feeling. If it feels right, continue to grow the relationship. Use conflicts to deep dive into each person's needs and each person's pre-wired behaviour shaped by parents and life experiences. This will lead to a better mutual understanding and to becoming a stronger team together. If it doesn't feel right, leave. And do not treat your significant other like something you can own or shape to your needs and never rely on that person to support you financially. That way you can always fairly choose for the relationship and not hang on to it for other reasons than believing in it.
Unbelievable amount of quality, life-changing content in 15 minutes. This was such an excellent way to follow up on the book summary. As someone who's fairly well-read in the relationship and therapy department, you introduced some new concepts and there's always more to learn. Thanks so much Ali !
Yep, I actually met my "ideal" and didn't feel anything. I altered my approach to pretty much everything in this video and then I met my husband who was the complete opposite of my original list!
Omg same!! I met my ideal too and I didn’t feel anything at all. I was so disappointed in myself about that, that I deleted all my apps and never dated again.
Experience vs evaluation mindset and spark vs burn slapped. Bottom line: it’s all about taking it light and experiencing the flow,the vibes. If you vibe, you vibe. Useful insights Ali.
Outlandish, paragraph long lists are not necessary and counterproductive, that parts true, but I think it’s absurd to not have at least a short list of boundaries/“must haves” to build a relationship on a solid foundation. Yes, you’re not gonna find the “perfect” partner, he/she becomes it over time (hopefully), but you need a solid baseline to build upon, otherwise the house of cards will fall inevitably, as it is CLEARLY occurring in the current dating marketplace. A short/concise “list” of 10 things that are non-negotiables, I think is actually helpful, you need a small filter at least; otherwise I’m good.
As an American woman who is 55+ years old, I've found it was so much easier to find compatible men in the United Kingdom: This was either via dating sites, or in person when living in Wales, UK, as a digital nomad. Sometimes, it was just three dates, and other times it was a relationship that lasted close to two years. I'm vegetarian (vegan some days), Agnostic, left-wing politically, and haven't owned a car in close to two decades. I like a walkable lifestyle, I'm a minimalist, and an Introvert. I've also lived in five countries. In the UK, men found me to be interesting, funny, intelligent, and "fun to be around." In the USA, men on my age group are looking for a "drinks and a f*ck" girl (nope, not interested), or they want to talk about who I was in high school forty years ago instead of discussing my current life, or they want to discuss why I divorced my husband more than twenty years ago. American men, at least the ones here in the upper Midwest, still act like teenaged boys. Men in the UK, at least the ones I dated, acted like men.
I've become so right for myself that I don't even want to be around people. If I've figured out how to entertain myself and do everything for myself, then other people are just a waste of time for me.
Huge fan! FYI, Your chapters didn't register in the player bc the timestamps have to start with 0:00, I've noticed this on some other video as well. Once you add the 0:00 timestamp the chapters will register automatically
1.I need you to have a job that you've held for more than 3 months. 2.I need you to not be on drugs or use alcohol to cope with life. 3.I need you maintain your health and appearance. 4.I need you to be good with balancing and monitoring your finances. 5.I need you to have the heart of a warrior and the soul of a spiritual guide. 6.I need you to be in love with the Earth and cherish and value its abundance. 7.I need you to be open to accepting unconditional love without fear and distrust. 8.I need you to understand that I need you in life and that this is a partnership. 9.I need you to have your own identity and life outside of me. 10. I need you to communicate peacefully, clearly and without ill intent. This is just my personal wisdom and checklist. :) These are valid needs. People care too much about really silly stuff. Look at a persons character, it goes a long way.
Literally the only thing that’s ever been on my checklist is they they like me as much as I like them. I’m yet to even find friends that like me as much I I like them. I might just be destined to be alone at this point
I am really enjoying your content Ali, I’ve been thinking about what it means to improve happiness so it’s really cool to see you go through things systematically, even relationships! Really happy that you’re growing in this way as well ☺️
I struggle going on a second date with people I don’t feel a “spark” for. In all my experiences the men always feel like I’ve used them or “wasted their time” if I don’t want to continue after a second or third date.
Sometimes it can be a bit of a slow burn; I just see it as getting to know someone, which is why I usually give it 2-3 dates before deciding whether to continue spending time with this person. It's not really fair for these men to say this -- unless they feel like they've been spending a lot of money on dates with you? But yeah, the first thing I look for in the first date is if I'm able to comfortably have a conversation with this person and they seem pleasant enough for me to do this again
I am currently reading this book you recommended for the past few weeks, thank you for sharing it! I didn't realize you had this video out 9 days ago! I was hesitating due to my cultural background but want to break this.
I have created a checklist. My checklist is flexible on most parts, but I still wanted to have it to remind me what the "perfect" partner is, and so I can see when I date if the person I am dating truly makes me happy or if I am missing something important. I have a tendency to be too accommodating for other people, and not prioritise my own wants and needs enough. My list isn't based on superficial things about him, but on what makes me happy. A true partner will be willing to do most things on my list because it makes me happy, like visiting museum, listening to musicals or watching anime with me. I want to share my life with my partner, so I need to find someone who enjoys what I love, otherwise I end up alone even when I'm in a relationship.
I like to end with a hug. It helps me gauge how much I liked the date, and also enables the other person to know how I feel and how they feel. E.g. If I linger and give a more intense hug, it's clear I like them. Not to say there are expectations after that, but it's just a valuable way to end the date and know what you'd like to do next.
Thanks for this video always all of your videos encourage us everytime always help us to realise many things also thanks all the members who are working at background
Love almost all of the ideas in the book but I felt like if the other person hasn't read the same book, you'll get rejected as they are using traditional methods
I'm doing all of these and still am single. Dating about once in a month or two months because it's really hard to find someone who actually wants to get to know me and not just trying to get my reaction online by stupid words. My wishlist or checklist as you put it? It has only meaningful characteristics in the ideal person I seek, such as being a kind person, having goals, being sincere and more. So it seems like I'm doing everything right and still can't find a proper partner. What's the problem? Please, enlighten me. I'm trying not to give up but it's hard after so much trial and horror (yes, pun intended).
Now that I´m opened to talk about it, find out my real issue, I´ve played this video and I´ll think about the topics... it makes a lot of sense. I´ll try to read the book as well. Tks.
There was a time in my life where I went on 2-3 dates with new women each week. Then I upped my standards to some pretty low bars, such as "must have a job," and "must not be overweight," and then I was lucky to get 1 date a month. It's hard to find other people who are on the same path of improvement. The weight thing isn't about appearance as much as health, an overweight person would be miserable living in my house where junk food is strictly banned.
I think this video is for the guys. as a girl I feel like guys normally wants to go on second date but I normally don't like them enough to go on a second date with. I struggle to find my type of person who will be compatible too.
this is a very good channel. I just discovered it today and I found this , I needed something like this. Thanks for that video. The channel is pretty impressive, full with references. I like the way you edit your videos. Do you use premade template or do effects by yourself ? will you do one day a tutorial ? I really like the way the transitions are made too.
Already accepted the fact that no advice is gonna help my unatractive, introverted, anxious and depressed 20-something year old ass find love but still watching it anyway
About the interview part, i think it is absolutely necessary at the beginning coz the only time i skipped this interview thing,i found out on the 2nd date he has 3 kids and this sth i can't keep up with since i was nit married b4.
2017-2018 because of disobedience, I was over Sean. I started dating a friend. We'll call him D. We already knew each other from the past. He was recently divorced so I was quite cautious. I had already been divorced 5 to 6 yrs. We were already close friends so we played that card. I was working thru my feelings for S and saw strong potential for D. D pulled the Parker card as soon as I smelled that I was out because I was no longer attracted to any of that mind gaming mess. One thing I did ask D was to pray a certain prayer for me because we already had that bond. We lifted each other up in prayer. We ended the romance card and remained friends.
it's sounds funny how people take their successful evaluative approach from corporate world into dating, interviewing people instead of experiencing, then i realize i do exactly this. and eliminating people from 1st date from typically job interview style dinner/coffee date.
The List is needed to ward of any abusers. Not having one is a sure shot way to end up with a person who can trigger that settling link in our minds instead of waiting out for the right person. This, however, is precluded with the notion that I have found my own purpose of living and have found an ultimate Source of Love within myself. Hence, the only true dating technique is to date myself endlessly until I find the one Purpose that I can Live for even when the world is against me and until I am able to be found by the Ultimate Endless Source of Love. No one should go about building "homes" with different people. Why would I settle for a one bedroom apartment when I can have a whole farm to myself.
I would like to go on more dates but I struggle with knowing how to nicely let someone know I don’t want to date them. It makes me feel really bad especially when they don’t feel the same.
Tell them just that and why. The other person will actually respect it so much more than if you flake and just stop communicating and stop responding which actually hurts them far more in the long term and changes their behaviour to the next person they meet.
@@supaahflyylove your comment ! The first time telling someone it’s not going to work can be very hard but once you do it than it is going to come easily and you are actually going to be proud of yourself for being honest towards another human being! Much strength to you
This stuff irritates me - I want to scream "no duh!" - when it comes to assuming people's "lists" include such stupid things mentioned here. MY "list" had criteria based on long term compatibility qualities, core values, and values based needs and wants none of which focused on looks. Health and basic fitness yes (because I'm active and need an active partner and need to share the core value of long term health to be compatible) Just things in the "looks" category, no.
I think it depends on the person. Some people need someone who has a certain lifestyle or values that click with their own. Some people just need someone who they vibe with, regardless of interests, values, etc.
📚 Pre-order my book to get an exclusive ticket to The Feel-Good Productivity Annual Planning Workshop! www.feelgoodproductivity.com/?+Evidence-Based+Tips+that+Helped+Me+Find+Love
Ali's one true love is *productivity*
Lmfaooo accurate 😅
Lol 100%
no it is money
*insert image of him fornicating with the 4 hour work week book*
Entj
I like how you’ve extended your channel into improving your personal life! Sometimes productivity channels can feel so about the grind culture that we forget to have lives outside of it.
+1
agreed!
I liked your comment and made it 1.2k
💯 🎉
best comment i’ve seen all day
Ali moving from productivity to reproductivity 👀
lol
😂☠️
🤣🤣🤣🤣
Lmaooo😂
Ahahahah
I'm the slowburn type and it's difficult to find someone who has the same mindset. It just takes time to warm up and I don't judge after 1-2 dates.
Throwing away any lists or Expectations is such a great advice nowadays.
But this one works for finding a person you are genuinely interested in.
For marriage,or any longtime commitment however ,there absolutely needs to be a list .
That list isn't of Shallow things like Height or Income. It's much more of a list of things you need to clear up /have a discussion about before. Like - If you want kids or not,What are your religious views ,How accepting they are of your culture,how do they define a healthy marriage Excetra excetra.
I just got out of a relationship fairly recently but I didn't go into that relationship with any kind of checklist expectation. And I think that's why it was so successful during the first, second and third date. It may not have led to marriage or whatever, but it was a great first relationship that was truly genuine.
I think one word can summarize this entire video and its: humility.
We are all human, we all have amazing qualities, flaws, and everything else in between. Give people chances, and more chances, and chances are you will find love.
love that
No, nope, noooo. No chances if there is no spark. Just nausea
@@enonz761slow burn~~~
@@enonz761yeah 😬
@@enonz761actually, that’s kind of approach that often ends up in unsuccessful dating. Of course, you want someone who you have a good connection and dynamic with. But this is exactly the kind of thing that can be built. What can’t be done, is fix a manipulator, who is exactly the type of person who will most often give you a “spark” with their manipulation, charm and attractiveness.
I feel like these are tips to find a boyfriend/girlfriend. To marry someone there is a list. Do they have the same religious views, if they want kids, political views and if they accept your culture/if they have the same culture and blah
Agreed.
That’s what was explained like 5 minutes into the video…
Honestly the best relationships I've had were when I was not looking for one, I put myself out there through hobbies instead and met lots of new people and eventually that's how I met my current bf. It feels way more natural this way and we were actually friends first. But I totally get the frustration, I was on the apps for a while and it was so frustrating and dehumanizing
👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
May I ask what type of hobbies did you do?
100% agree. Sometimes living your life with the sole purpose of dating-marrying makes you seem a bit.. desperate?? find things you like, hobbies, sports, your job, having good times with your friends, anything. Anything that involves even a bit of communication with other people (even online) might lead to a mutual interest & it feels much more natural. Also, try to live in the moment, don't let your life pass by thinking about the "ideal love life" you would want. The best experiences I've lived are with people I never thought I would
Ohhh Ali’s in love 🥰 We all get those feelings and it’s so nice to hear you talk about it.
I hope you find the right one ❤️
Honestly, just take it easy and follow your feeling. If it feels right, continue to grow the relationship. Use conflicts to deep dive into each person's needs and each person's pre-wired behaviour shaped by parents and life experiences. This will lead to a better mutual understanding and to becoming a stronger team together. If it doesn't feel right, leave. And do not treat your significant other like something you can own or shape to your needs and never rely on that person to support you financially. That way you can always fairly choose for the relationship and not hang on to it for other reasons than believing in it.
This is so well put! 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
this comment is golden👏👏
Unbelievable amount of quality, life-changing content in 15 minutes. This was such an excellent way to follow up on the book summary. As someone who's fairly well-read in the relationship and therapy department, you introduced some new concepts and there's always more to learn. Thanks so much Ali !
Learning how to find love productively is something I never knew I needed 😁Happy you've found love, Ali!
Yep, I actually met my "ideal" and didn't feel anything. I altered my approach to pretty much everything in this video and then I met my husband who was the complete opposite of my original list!
Omg same!! I met my ideal too and I didn’t feel anything at all. I was so disappointed in myself about that, that I deleted all my apps and never dated again.
What was on your list then to now?
How did it change
Off topic: Ali's voice is so therapeutic.
Experience vs evaluation mindset and spark vs burn slapped. Bottom line: it’s all about taking it light and experiencing the flow,the vibes. If you vibe, you vibe. Useful insights Ali.
"1. Throw away the checklist"
The way I just screamed "NOOOO" 🤣
Outlandish, paragraph long lists are not necessary and counterproductive, that parts true, but I think it’s absurd to not have at least a short list of boundaries/“must haves” to build a relationship on a solid foundation. Yes, you’re not gonna find the “perfect” partner, he/she becomes it over time (hopefully), but you need a solid baseline to build upon, otherwise the house of cards will fall inevitably, as it is CLEARLY occurring in the current dating marketplace.
A short/concise “list” of 10 things that are non-negotiables, I think is actually helpful, you need a small filter at least; otherwise I’m good.
Congratulations Ali. Productive way to announce an engagement!
As an American woman who is 55+ years old, I've found it was so much easier to find compatible men in the United Kingdom: This was either via dating sites, or in person when living in Wales, UK, as a digital nomad. Sometimes, it was just three dates, and other times it was a relationship that lasted close to two years. I'm vegetarian (vegan some days), Agnostic, left-wing politically, and haven't owned a car in close to two decades. I like a walkable lifestyle, I'm a minimalist, and an Introvert. I've also lived in five countries. In the UK, men found me to be interesting, funny, intelligent, and "fun to be around." In the USA, men on my age group are looking for a "drinks and a f*ck" girl (nope, not interested), or they want to talk about who I was in high school forty years ago instead of discussing my current life, or they want to discuss why I divorced my husband more than twenty years ago. American men, at least the ones here in the upper Midwest, still act like teenaged boys. Men in the UK, at least the ones I dated, acted like men.
To the UK I go hahaha
"There is only one happiness in this life, to love and be loved." ~ George Sand 😊
2:10 damn she really said “my husband is NOT the ideal partner physically but he’s Brilliant and hilarious” 🤣
What's so funny about that?
It's not about finding the one for you. ...it's becoming the right one for yourself
I love this, will write it down somewhere where I can remind myself of it :)
No. You have to make yourself compatible with more people than just yourself. Everyone's already right for themselves...
I've become so right for myself that I don't even want to be around people. If I've figured out how to entertain myself and do everything for myself, then other people are just a waste of time for me.
Huge fan! FYI, Your chapters didn't register in the player bc the timestamps have to start with 0:00, I've noticed this on some other video as well. Once you add the 0:00 timestamp the chapters will register automatically
Insightful. Love the tip about having an experience when going on dating rather than the traditional meal/interview.
1.I need you to have a job that you've held for more than 3 months.
2.I need you to not be on drugs or use alcohol to cope with life.
3.I need you maintain your health and appearance.
4.I need you to be good with balancing and monitoring your finances.
5.I need you to have the heart of a warrior and the soul of a spiritual guide.
6.I need you to be in love with the Earth and cherish and value its abundance.
7.I need you to be open to accepting unconditional love without fear and distrust.
8.I need you to understand that I need you in life and that this is a partnership.
9.I need you to have your own identity and life outside of me.
10. I need you to communicate peacefully, clearly and without ill intent.
This is just my personal wisdom and checklist. :)
These are valid needs. People care too much about really silly stuff. Look at a persons character, it goes a long way.
So happy to hear you've found love 🥰 love to see it!
Literally the only thing that’s ever been on my checklist is they they like me as much as I like them. I’m yet to even find friends that like me as much I I like them. I might just be destined to be alone at this point
I am really enjoying your content Ali, I’ve been thinking about what it means to improve happiness so it’s really cool to see you go through things systematically, even relationships! Really happy that you’re growing in this way as well ☺️
Soo happy for Ali and his future bride. God speed and continued success!
You suddenly became my favorite RUclips channel. Your advice is always something to consider and look forward to.
Thank you for what you’re doing ❤
Ali, the one person who uses evidence to find love
Congratulations to you and your future wife. Maybe it can happen to all of us one way or another.
I struggle going on a second date with people I don’t feel a “spark” for. In all my experiences the men always feel like I’ve used them or “wasted their time” if I don’t want to continue after a second or third date.
isnt that more of a you thing then?
Sometimes it can be a bit of a slow burn; I just see it as getting to know someone, which is why I usually give it 2-3 dates before deciding whether to continue spending time with this person. It's not really fair for these men to say this -- unless they feel like they've been spending a lot of money on dates with you? But yeah, the first thing I look for in the first date is if I'm able to comfortably have a conversation with this person and they seem pleasant enough for me to do this again
I'm sooo happy that Ali's usual video editing is back👍🥰
I hate videos with unnecessary memes😒
Your work is wholeheartedly appreciated.
I love how your channel cover different aspect of lives - love, education, career etc 😍
Cool
So good! Thanks to this advice, I have the BEST life partner today - 7 years later and still passionately in love with one another ❤️😍
That elevator music is so calming. Great video, very insightful
This is the most on brand Ali video I swear. Love this for you bud!
Yeah, checklists based on superficial aspects are bad but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t have non-negotiables as part of the Checklist.
I agree with this, especially if your non-negotiables are for long-term reasons.
True ,,I was taken back by this point ,,,,
Ali is in love with being productive
Ali finding science evidence for everything in his life 🎉
Just out of curiosity: Where does one get one of these "dates" that you talk about?
2:15 The problem is not making a list, the problem is making a stupid and superficial list.
Who is here after the found out Ali got married😂❤
I am currently reading this book you recommended for the past few weeks, thank you for sharing it! I didn't realize you had this video out 9 days ago! I was hesitating due to my cultural background but want to break this.
"Hmm , Yeah I'm productive in love" - Ali Abdaal
Watching this video made me realise that I am on the right track.
Thanks for this informative video. It inspired me to request this book from the library. May love prevail!
So happy for you! Burning question: are you going to introduce us to your future wife?
Step 1: Get out of the house.
Hard part 😂😂
@@Devyanidd Really hard for me sometimes. I'm often shut down.
I love your videos! Who is editing your videos? Thanks for great information.
I have created a checklist. My checklist is flexible on most parts, but I still wanted to have it to remind me what the "perfect" partner is, and so I can see when I date if the person I am dating truly makes me happy or if I am missing something important. I have a tendency to be too accommodating for other people, and not prioritise my own wants and needs enough.
My list isn't based on superficial things about him, but on what makes me happy. A true partner will be willing to do most things on my list because it makes me happy, like visiting museum, listening to musicals or watching anime with me. I want to share my life with my partner, so I need to find someone who enjoys what I love, otherwise I end up alone even when I'm in a relationship.
Okaaaay. This is one of the better dating tips I've listened to on RUclips 🎉 Thanks!
I like to end with a hug. It helps me gauge how much I liked the date, and also enables the other person to know how I feel and how they feel. E.g. If I linger and give a more intense hug, it's clear I like them. Not to say there are expectations after that, but it's just a valuable way to end the date and know what you'd like to do next.
This video was so helpful that I didnt know I needed it!
Having Ali Abdaal as crush is super worth it.
Thanks for this video always all of your videos encourage us everytime always help us to realise many things also thanks all the members who are working at background
7:13 I like the comparison between a date and a colonoscopy.
Ali welcome back to RUclipsr .. lot of love respect and thanks
Love almost all of the ideas in the book but I felt like if the other person hasn't read the same book, you'll get rejected as they are using traditional methods
1:09 timestamp.
2:57 having it all.
I'm doing all of these and still am single. Dating about once in a month or two months because it's really hard to find someone who actually wants to get to know me and not just trying to get my reaction online by stupid words. My wishlist or checklist as you put it? It has only meaningful characteristics in the ideal person I seek, such as being a kind person, having goals, being sincere and more. So it seems like I'm doing everything right and still can't find a proper partner. What's the problem? Please, enlighten me. I'm trying not to give up but it's hard after so much trial and horror (yes, pun intended).
As a woman seeking men, I find it's rare to find a man that has goals and is actually working towards them.
@@Isthisinterestingnow same
JazakAllahu Khair, Ali! This seems so sensible.
When you realise the Experimental vs Evaluative Mindset section at 9:15 is Ali Abdaal’s version of go with your heart and not your brain.
pls ali even luv comes to your life with tips nd productivity man chill
Now that I´m opened to talk about it, find out my real issue, I´ve played this video and I´ll think about the topics... it makes a lot of sense. I´ll try to read the book as well. Tks.
Tell me you are lonely without telling me you are lonely… *me clicks on this video*
thank you for the advice, Dr Ali. I'll make sure to use your tips in good way
Bruh why am I watching this. I have social anxiety i’m NOT going on dates ever 😂
Same. I'll prolly never download dating apps and even date any date but watching for curiosity😂😂
Me too haha, I will NOT date but I still find this fun lol
We are sending your assigned mate over…
I found my life partner doing the opposite of half of this advice 😂 I think everybody should experiment for themselves.
what did you do
Yeah I agree. All this advice isn't necessarily wrong, but it comes from a very specific perspective .
Not one that everyone is going to share.
There was a time in my life where I went on 2-3 dates with new women each week. Then I upped my standards to some pretty low bars, such as "must have a job," and "must not be overweight," and then I was lucky to get 1 date a month. It's hard to find other people who are on the same path of improvement. The weight thing isn't about appearance as much as health, an overweight person would be miserable living in my house where junk food is strictly banned.
I think this video is for the guys. as a girl I feel like guys normally wants to go on second date but I normally don't like them enough to go on a second date with. I struggle to find my type of person who will be compatible too.
Thanks!
Love your hair like this Ali!!! It’s a good luck for u!
this is a very good channel. I just discovered it today and I found this , I needed something like this. Thanks for that video. The channel is pretty impressive, full with references. I like the way you edit your videos. Do you use premade template or do effects by yourself ? will you do one day a tutorial ? I really like the way the transitions are made too.
i miss that roommate of yours. her name is at the tip of my tongue. you guys always made me smile.
So so happy to see Ali in this space😊
Deep Dive is my favorite podcast. Keep it up, Ali ❤
Already accepted the fact that no advice is gonna help my unatractive, introverted, anxious and depressed 20-something year old ass find love but still watching it anyway
Many unattractive, introverted, anxious, depressed people find love.🙄
This was really informative thank you. I’ll put this book on my reading list! 💕
Just be 100% honest when you're in LUV
explain
Did he say “future wife” 👀😍🤩
About the interview part, i think it is absolutely necessary at the beginning coz the only time i skipped this interview thing,i found out on the 2nd date he has 3 kids and this sth i can't keep up with since i was nit married b4.
2017-2018 because of disobedience, I was over Sean. I started dating a friend. We'll call him D. We already knew each other from the past. He was recently divorced so I was quite cautious. I had already been divorced 5 to 6 yrs. We were already close friends so we played that card. I was working thru my feelings for S and saw strong potential for D. D pulled the Parker card as soon as I smelled that I was out because I was no longer attracted to any of that mind gaming mess. One thing I did ask D was to pray a certain prayer for me because we already had that bond. We lifted each other up in prayer. We ended the romance card and remained friends.
whats the parker card?
@@JJ-vp3bd who are you
This is something new! Thank you!
it's sounds funny how people take their successful evaluative approach from corporate world into dating, interviewing people instead of experiencing, then i realize i do exactly this. and eliminating people from 1st date from typically job interview style dinner/coffee date.
The List is needed to ward of any abusers. Not having one is a sure shot way to end up with a person who can trigger that settling link in our minds instead of waiting out for the right person. This, however, is precluded with the notion that I have found my own purpose of living and have found an ultimate Source of Love within myself.
Hence, the only true dating technique is to date myself endlessly until I find the one Purpose that I can Live for even when the world is against me and until I am able to be found by the Ultimate Endless Source of Love.
No one should go about building "homes" with different people. Why would I settle for a one bedroom apartment when I can have a whole farm to myself.
I 100% agree. Wanna write a similar comment.
I really love and enjoy ur content. Thank u 4 sharing.
I would like to go on more dates but I struggle with knowing how to nicely let someone know I don’t want to date them. It makes me feel really bad especially when they don’t feel the same.
Tell them just that and why. The other person will actually respect it so much more than if you flake and just stop communicating and stop responding which actually hurts them far more in the long term and changes their behaviour to the next person they meet.
@@supaahflyylove your comment ! The first time telling someone it’s not going to work can be very hard but once you do it than it is going to come easily and you are actually going to be proud of yourself for being honest towards another human being! Much strength to you
Thank u so much Ali, I always learn sth new with your videos. 😄
Bro landed a dime 👌🏾 I was incredibly surprised lol
Hey Ali i just starting watching your video , and i honestly tell uu your video is so productive for students. 👍
Great video Ali. Thanks for the refreshing tips
The Baground is Awesome 💚
Not expected this video! But was insightful!
This stuff irritates me - I want to scream "no duh!" - when it comes to assuming people's "lists" include such stupid things mentioned here. MY "list" had criteria based on long term compatibility qualities, core values, and values based needs and wants none of which focused on looks. Health and basic fitness yes (because I'm active and need an active partner and need to share the core value of long term health to be compatible) Just things in the "looks" category, no.
I think it depends on the person. Some people need someone who has a certain lifestyle or values that click with their own. Some people just need someone who they vibe with, regardless of interests, values, etc.
Can’t believe they used the colonoscopy experience as an example
Thank you for this video 🙏 I just bought the book. I'm prioritizing my dating life for the rest of the year.
My biggest problem is about love rn is , I feel to have some sort of money to fall in love