Why Women Have Male Friends | Sadia Khan
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- Опубликовано: 27 сен 2024
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What men heard her say...
"I want a bunch of backup relationships"
@elliemonniemonkey branching is a thing. 😅
@elliemonnie omg from one to another before you let the last one go. Emotional cheating is a thing
@elliemonnie Monkey branching is a metaphor. Trees protect monkeys from predators and allow them to eat. Men are the trees, once a monkey has harvested all the resources (fruit/nuts) of a tree it looks for a taller stronger tree with more resources to jump to. Most monkeys will jump to another tree while holding the branch of the previous tree, they only let go of the previous tree when they are certain the new better tree will support them. Monkey branching....
@elliemonniethat is still unfair towards men. It's like fishing but never wanting to pull the fish out while having numerous rods in the water plus the bait is always shit
Yessssssssss
She just said it, “I’d rather have a male friend who secretly loves me…” enough said. That’s why men are protective, and don’t want our female partner hanging out with these dipshit guys that are in her “friend zone”.
💯
Same goes with men. It's easier to make female friends who you can go grab a coffee and socialize with. Of course if you only enjoy socializing with your male friends then you do you.
@@newera478most men don't have female friends.
True
all shes really saying is a lot of women are terrible friends for both men and women
Bingo.
It also says a lot that women consider the relationships they have with men who have a crush on them "friendships" - if your idea of friendship includes the other person worshipping the ground you walk on, doing everything you want and never ever complaining because he hopes that some day he might win you over that way (which of course you don't intend to happen ever), you aren't a good friend, you're parasite, a user and a narcissist.
@@n.l.4626 You simply have to observe life as I did, without a filter, as I went through it while grappling with a steroid addiction that suppressed my drive, lasting about five years. Some components, like nortesto, can deactivate your drive instead of enhancing it. During this time, I perceived the world without any restraints, and it became evident how women employed subtle behaviors to manipulate men, making relationships seem somewhat parasitic from an external perspective. This even led me to question the actions of my own parents. I distinctly remember advising my mother to be more self-reliant, rather than constantly depending on the financial and labor support of others and was literally 3 steps away from beating the crap at of some indiviudals, because the other gender really disgusted me.
@@n.l.4626 dont forget the reason why she said women dont make good friends for women.
Yes and they can rip off men for different types of favor
@@n.l.4626what she is really saying is women like to be the ones in power in relationships.
Having a female on female friends they have to actually mutually give back to the friendship.
Women that primarily have friends with men generally abuse the men in those relationships often times exploiting them by using intimacy/sex to bait them. Then when they are no longer useful they drop them.
This isn't just how females act towards their male friends but also their male partners.
When you're no longer useful to her you're DEAD to her.
There is evolutionary biases for this and there are theories around it, but never the less it is one of the most cruel forms of emotional manipulation.
NEVER trust a women who cannot have female friends and especially never trust one who only has male friends.
That is a seriously messed up women.
Summary: men actually have real friendships
Good summary
Male friendships are based pretty much on interest, once that's gone we have no friends. That's why the male loneliness epidemic is a thing, many men not only do not have a female partner, we do not have one friend that we can call when we have issues.
@@rejectwokeness1314 I disagree, I guess you don't have real friends.. sorry bruh
@@duanemcintosh8908 Maybe, I live in a competitive big city, friends and even family will sell each other out for interest or simply just ego. But what I said about male loneliness epidemic holds true, it's a broad based study, not my observation
So do women ,she don't speak for all women.
What she means is:
Men talk shit to each other and don't mean it.
Women compliment each other and don't mean it. 💯
As a guy, all I say I mean
The others liking it it's a different thing
😂😂😂😂
😂😂😂😂 I don't nt do this shit, but yeah, ive seen from other people tbat it is very VERY true. It still baffles me though
My wife is my best friend and my only true female friend. I am friendly to women and talk with them. But there is a line I absolutely will not cross. I do not text other women. I don't call them on the phone. I don't put myself in situations where I am alone with women. Not because I don't think I can resist temptation, but because it feels like the most respectable way to treat my spouse, especially when she isn't around.
Respect to you Sir.
If only females have these kind of mindsets, it's hard to believe they rlly love you and is actually being real with you coz they either believe their own delusions or they just dk how to be in a relationship
Does she reciprocate in kind?
@@Jugulator31 absolutely.
Respect man. This is how it should be. People will say you're wrong. But you've nailed it bro
"Having a friend that secretly loves us"
Evacuate
So they actually do know that we like them but pretend they don't.
Yeah but that secretly love us is more of a platonic thing in their head hence what she is saying about female friends so if they have a guy friend then they have a female friend at the same time the female friend can have some thing and not care about you so if you go to a the guy friend who'll have that filter that filters that shit out.
@@trip_t2122no not really, friend zone would exist if this the case. women dont want to fuck their friends like that. the men would be getting some in the us now. if that was the case but it isn't.
@@trip_t2122Yup, attention is their life force.
@@trip_t2122yes. You're the second or third best choice in case the first guy falls out
Men,if you love yourself,dont take this advice.
Even more so if you don't love yourself because you'll believe you can convert your love into an honourable friendship. Definitely ignore this advice.
Men don't listen to women so there is no danger of anyone seeing this as advice
👌
I'm confuse, what advice? Did she give any advice? I kinda zone out when women speak, so I musta missed it.
Yours sounded like an advice. You advice me not to take the advice about taking advice.
what
@@durereshe didn’t give any advice. She’s explaining why we see the social phenomena that we see among male and female friendships and women who want to be friends with men. Women would often rather have a male friend who definitely likes them and might love them, than a female friend who might not actually like them at all. Of course they would. She’s just pointing out that this is because men and women have different kinds of friendships.
This woman has done a great job convincing me that steering clear of women is a very good idea.
Makes two of us.
Gay
@@polyseed12 that's your assumption.
@@polyseed12 no, just not a masochist
Red pill incel take
Petty is the word she is looking for
😂😂😂
I think you
😂😂😂👍
Two-faced, intellectually dishonest, deceitful, and treacherous came to my mind.
@@mon_avis2978 I'd agree with thos eas well
Women in a relationship who also have male friends are keeping security reserves and esteem validations through those other men.
Whether they aware of it or not. It’s subconscious and instinctive. A non-disclosed social prenup.
Also, sometimes those guys give her money
They know. It would be naive to think that they can't see and feel the benefits. It's presented as subconscious action, but women know when a man likes them and he hits her up all the time in hope of getting in.
She just totally, unintentionally revealed the typical intention of infidelity running rampant in women of today. 😂
Bang on buddy. My thoughts exactly.
She also unironically said that women are worse than children and are mentally on the level of a child. She claimed that women stick together even when they hate each other and are willing to pretend to be friends, even though they don't wish anything good for the other person. This sounds, at the very least, narcissistic, and to call it toxic would be an understatement; it's more accurately described as downright psychopathic.
@sad_wrangler8515 the amount of women including my own sister that bitch about their own 'friends' is crazy.
Exactly
@@sad_wrangler8515
How is that anything like children’s friendships?! You musta had a fucked up childhood dawg
If you’re a person reading this you are valuable in God’s eyes beyond measure.
Why did this make me cry? I’m literally an atheist. I’ve had a rough few days and randomly seeing this just broke me and made me feel okay at the same time.
Thanks for a sweet message ❤🙏
Allah is the one and only God , Islam is the truth.
Thank you :')
If women aren’t good friends to each other then why would men want to be a woman’s friend if we’re getting nothing out of it? 😂😂
Good point 🤔
You gotta ask the men who're in the women's orbit. They're usually secretly hoping her relationship ends and he gets a shot with her
Hahaa great observation brother
I've had this happen. I was still friends with one of my exes and eventually I realized that she would talk to me whenever she wasn't getting what she wanted from the relationship that she was in when she had moved on, knowing that I was wanting her back. She reached out again about a year or two ago and I kept the conversation very short.
Very well spoken and articulated, could definitely sway a lot of people.
But remember, she is justifying hypergamy; having backups in your pocket and loyal simps you don't expect to go away.
It's not just wrong, but it will be WAY worse when those guys eventually walk away realizing you are never going to reciprocate those feelings, your entire relationship is going to feel like a sham and a waste of time because THAT guy wanted a life partner while you:
A. Wanted a fallback turning that was never your first choice (ow)
B. Wanted a friend
When men realize this, they aren't going to argue with you. They will just disappear from your life.
This may be anecdotal, but every woman i have ever known that has referred to a man as her "best friend" was either actively banging him or eventually ended up in a relationship with him.
Or gay
That's your experience.
What about male friends who are not "best friends"? I'm asking because I am a female and I have male friends who I am neither banging nor I ever will be in a relationship with any of them.
That classified me as per your logic to a toxic person, because you have no other reasoning that a woman can have male friends, but only those two: "she is / will be either banging him or she is toxic"?
I don't get you guys - your world is soo flat - either black or white thinking.
And as per what Sadia says: she often claims her opinions about certain human groups and doesn't add anything like "Some" Or "at times" Or "in certain circumstances" Etc. Although I bet this is what she really means.
Otherwise she would not be allowed to work as a psychologist and she would lose her license 😂 A psychologist is required to look at people as individuals instead of pidgenholing them.
Fair, I married mine.
@@PuddilyOops So you know only one woman?
@nalianalianalia what world do you live in? lol.. As long as you have the right political views.. just about anyone can become a psychologist or counselor these days.
To translate the womanese: men provide more utility as friends than women and even though he may love the woman and she feels nothing in return, she will continue to use him for his utility for example, time, attention, potential resources and possibly other physical skills that work to a woman's benefit.
as a female I say you are fluent in womanese 😂 And the reason we give is I'm not forcing him to do anything for me I just asked, he doesn't have to if he doesn't want to. And I never even hinted that I like him that way so it's not my fault if he still wants to be friends, again I'm not forcing him to stay.
The best thing about being a man is that you largely know where you stand with all of your mates - people who don’t like/respect you wont make an effort for you. This builds honest relationships and lowers anxiety. You also learn how to develop a thick skin with banter which helps you to lose insecurities, as your friends have enough respect for you to know you don’t need constant “pick me ups”, you can get through the tough times yourself.
Whilst women are taught to not only respect other people, but to care for them (even if they would not necessarily want to) what is often associated as "liking".
We are primed since the very beginning to care for other people.
So, it's coping mechanism to accommodate to our environment for both sexes - men and women.
@@nalianalianaliadamn. That makes so much sense.
@@nalianalianalia That's very insightful, but I don't think it's a social construct. The nurturing instinct in women is crucial to the survival of the species.
@@marklefevre3476 No matter it's a social construct or an instinct or stems from anything else, it simply means women are likely to stay in touch with people whom they not necessarily like.
Sometimes it's their pesky father / nosey mother in law or a scroodgey local pediatrician, other time their petty boss, toxic female friend or a meek male friend.
Women know not only any of them might become useful one day, but mostly if they would mess up, then their hatred would become dangerous one day.
It's not only looking for a potentiality to gain in future something good, but also avoiding potential risks.
That's why Sadia once again either said some BS, or her viewpoint has been manipulated and shortened soo much to twist her original meaning
@@nalianalianalia I think generalisations are dangerous - maybe on average women are taught that their role in society is to be a nurturing in preparation for their future as mothers but I’ve met my fair share of women who are cold, calculated and un-nurturing. Maybe they are taught to be that way, but they seem very happy to be that way so I wouldn’t say they are “acting against their nature”. Some women just aren’t meant to be mothers, but the majority are
Women like male friends because of a number of reasons that are difficult to embrace.
1) Women are mean to each other.
2) Men are naturally respectful to women
and protective of women.
3) Men are attracted to women.
4) Women secretly hope male friend becomes more than friend
@@Ekam-SatWishful thinking much?
Not really; I already have more women in my life then I can handle. @@Level_Eleven
It isn't that we can't understand how you can have them we are mature enough to understand that you shouldn't because each and every one of those male friends that are hanging around you all want to sleep with you if they haven't made a move yet they feel like they can't or afraid of rejection but if you put it on the table bet they won't turn it down!
A simple test every women should do. Phone a few of your straight single guy friends and ask them "what do you think of the idea of dating me". They won't do it because it would reveal the truth. Women keep straight guys who are potentially interested in them as friends for emotional support and favours most of the time
This is very true. It's highly immoral on the part if of the concerned women and highly stupid on the part of her guy friends.
if a woman would to that just for entertainment , this would implify that she is not your friend at all...
@@kcried1081Men aren't being used. They know what the score is. If the girl broke off the friendship, no big deal. They're just hoping for that longshot hook up, not a lifelong friend.
Edit: Unless it's an ugly girl. Men will keep them around forever, just in case they need help moving.
@@anthonyfrombelowwhy would a man keep an ugly girl around in case he is moving? Is she gonna help lift the freezer and pack the truck? 😂
and attention, she knows those ( male friends) would date her anytime she wanted, with a word.
Insecurity leads to having multiple backup plans. Others might call that smart, some might call it selfish. But it's a survival tactic for sure.
Gotta keep the rebound selection on point
A friend that secretly loves us is code for backup choice
"You as a girl can be just friends to a guy but.. it means you're ugly". - Matt Rife
So true, managed business, was always surprised when my female employees proffered to work with mostly males. One female explained: " If I need help, a guy will sit with me and show me how to do something I don't know. Women are competitors, they won't "
Some women would actually sabotage you, too
@@dll7658jeez cutthroat shit would never occur to me even if I didn’t like the guy the worst I’ll do is not help him 😂
There is usually a conflict of interest when people of different value gravitate toward eachother
If there is an attraction then there is the possibility of inappropriate behavior then it all starts
And? That's really not relevant at all if the people in question have self control and standards
@@ironman4life89 yeah just finding that is very hard but I wouldn’t be with someone who would want that. A woman with a bunch of male orbiters is just a train crash waiting to happen. I get the thing about self control. I have complete self control but I’ve had several exes that we’re just liars. I’ll only be with a person that wants me to be around especially with other males around. Forget that
@@ironman4life89 everyone loses self control from time to time that's just called being human. even the will of good strong people falters sometimes.
@@ironman4life89but 95% of guys worldwide don't have that discipline, we are just incapable of that. Believe me a lot of us would like to see you just the way you see us but we would lie if we say it's easy and we just need willpower. Sexual attraction is so deeply rooted especially in us men so I understand from a woman's perspective you can't understand why it's not as easy for men as it is for women but let me tell you from a guys perspective there is little we can do... I'm speaking from personal experience. :/
@@Strangeman96Ok
Women with male “friends” is a huge red flag
Yes, and in the same note, a man only hangs out with you with the hope of sleeping with you, otherwise you wouldn't see him.
Preach.
I've had plenty of female friends. I understand what it's like to have friends that you are not in to even though you know that they are in to you. It is annoying and can ruin the friendship if they are too insistent. Because of being good looking and having charisma, women think that my playfulness is flirting. I just like to have fun and then end up in situations where both women I was hanging out with would tell me privately that the other was giving evils. If you are desirable to the opposite sex then there will be some issues that get thrust upon you that you don't want. Also, if I sense desperation or someone being too into me I will find in off putting. All that being said, a friendship can be an awesome start to a relationship if you laugh at the same things and have some common interests.
Anyway, I just thought I'd give the male view as someone not in the creep territory.
Women have an innate need to have friends and community because back in caveman or tribal times she relied upon the community for survival where as a man could go rogue, hunt on his own, build himself a shelter, a fire for warmth etc...
I am a woman gone rogue😱😱Sheesh, guess times are changing🫡
@@Ultralinedwomen gone rogue
"MENTALLY".....😂😂
Men need community too, love. We're all social animals. Just because you have the skills and perseverance to survive on your own doesn't mean that you have to or that it's good for you, and just because someone doesn't live on their own doesn't mean they can't learn how to. I know I don't know you and I really don't want to make you feel condescended to, but I hope you aren't living without community. However well you're doing for yourself, you deserve the option to fall back on someone. Whatever your life looks like, I hope you feel loved.
@@OldLadyMapleSeed Nah it's different for men, it's in out DNA to never be a burden to women or the community. We must be strong and when we fall we have to pick ourselves up because we know our survival is on us. But I get what you're saying about community, it is good but if all else fails we are okay and can manage on our just fine.
True, but that was also a time when there weren't hoards of other men around to fill the gap, because they were off hunting and doing dangerous stuff. Also, there were plenty of other women around her for a accountability and if there was a male, it was probably some other matriarchs young buck; thus, the prices were higher and much more consequential with much less likelihood of getting away with the infidelity. So this was not an issue like it is today. But to your point, it's also for this same reason you mentioned that most women are born instinctively bi......chill ladies, I said most.
I'm a woman who used to have many male friends in school & college.
I never think I'm pretty at all, but I'm confident enough in my personality & characters, that's why I drew some friendships in, males & females. The thing is, I usually realized whenever my male friends had secret feelings for me. Idk if it's so common in us women, or is it me just being a narcisst (when I never even fancy my own appearance)? I only could confirm it when they withdrew at some point, as if they knew they couldn't get any further (in relationship) with me. One of them actually admitted it, through my best-friend. I asked her why he seemed distanced himself from me, and she said he liked me, but knowing that I had a big crush on someone else, so he got away. I'd say to her, at that time, what a coward of him, since I actually did like him & could picture if I ever have someone like him in my life. How could I think of that when I already had a crush? Well, a crush is just a crush, my best friend just had the quality I never imagined that I need it in my life, so yeah. Then why didn't I go for him? Bcz at the time I was still focus on college & didn't urgently need any relationship, it's fine, right? But the fact that he didn't go forward to ask me disappointed me, simply bcz he thought of me by himself, that's it. Now, I don't really regret anything...
My points are,
I do understand the points Sadia made, as a woman. But I also understand the concern of most men in this topic, since I do realize that man usually get closer to a woman bcz he's attracted to her, has romantic feeling for her. At the same time, I still want to have male friends (bff or not) as they have qualities that female friends don't. Plus, am I wrong to want a "big bro" since I don't have a real one (I have it all complete: big sis, lil sis, & lil bro)? It's okay to have them, right, as long as I keep my distance & be clear with our standing, convince this to my lover?
Let's put it this way, how many male friends were calling your mother or wife or aunt or grandma before social media? Zero
Quite a few actually. The neighbors, the uncles, the grandparents, family friends, etc etc. Before social media it was more clear, now you have a person who can be in touch with someone else far more easily without anyone else even knowing they are in touch.
So don't bring in history as some kind of example, it's a bad one. People lived in more tighter communities, which required more interactions.
Hell if you lived in the countryside, it was even more important.
no girlie, I'm sorry life had treated you so bad with female friendships but i can assure 100% good female friendships are PURE GOLD
She’s wrong about guys separating. Snakes and guys with passive aggressive issues hang around all the time, just like women. Many guys act like females. If you’ve ever been backstabbed you’ll know what i mean
She said usually, which means it is the average the ones you're talking about are exeptions
I agree with you and with the above comment and I'd like to further add that passive aggressive type guys also stay with women who use them. These guys get vengeful when women don't reciprocate their feelings even after years of extracting their resources and services. I once read a statistics that of all sexual crimes that happen with women 95% are committed by men they knew and trusted.
Bad karma will always have consequences.
And yet, most women feel threatened if a man has strong bonds of friendship with other men, love their pets, love their children, and have a few close female friends. Run from this type of woman.
True! Male friendships are SO much easier to maintain and everything is taken at face value.
@@madmedic7840 How so? Maybe you’ve had a different experience than I have.
Mmm I don't keep friends around that are jealous or threatened by me. I have friends, both female and male that are authentic and we respect one another. I don't relate to this.
Unfortunately Sadia is missing a key component. Most women shouldn’t have male friends because it most likely will put them in a compromising situation and jeopardise the relationship between you and your partner. This is why men of value like Ryan Reynolds, Messi and Keanu Reeves and their partners never out themselves in a position that can screw up their love life.
I refuse to believe any of my female friends could ever compromise themselves with me.
@@JohnSmith-wx9wjthat could be down to how attractive you are to your female friends instead of it being a good moral choice by them,you must have met guys who pretend to be friends with a girl just because they are attracted to them physically.That’s the issue with this idea,if your a girl and you are aware a man only has 1 goal with you and you keep him around knowing that then your partner is not going to be happy fundamentally,sure men and women can be friends but if your friend wants to get intimate there not really your friend.
@@LD-bj4xc Well, I like to think my friends are good people. 😆 But I know they're not attracted to me.
If you keep someone around who loves you, string them along because you get something out of it and think it's only natural because of how great you are... then you're not a good person.
Women are petty and deceitful whereas men just move on if they aren’t really interested in the friendship. When things go wrong with a male friendship, they work it out in the same day. When it’s with women they hold a grudge for decades. Lets just be blunt folks!
Part of maturing in female friendships is recognizing that life isn't competition. They have their own lives and so do you. Competition kills friendship but understanding and empathy brings people together.
The one thing feminism completely look past, especially in the era of social media, is that women are highly competitive with each other in terms of status and mate selection. Women judge other women more harder than men. No matter how much we have equality for men and women, women don't judge each other equally.
One of my best friends is a woman, and I am a man. I've never felt like I wanted to sleep with her or be in a relationship with her. We've been single at same time. Drinking and staying over at each other's place. Nothing has ever happened.
She's tried setting me up with her friends, and I with mine. Very, very platonic. While I understand that it's common for guys wanting to sleep with their friends it's definitely not an absolute. I find it a bit degrading for men, thinking we need a sexual attraction to enjoy the company of a woman we're not in a relationship with.
The problem is that women may think they are just friends with the man, but the man is always ready to become more than friends. It opens the door to infidelity. Personally I don't have any female friends, I have my partner and that's all I need lol
Yes. @@madmedic7840
The problem is most men do not look for platonic relationships with women. He wants sex and its disingenuous to keep the friendship. The drama occurs when he wants more.
YES thank you
She's literally just saying things, I've never felt this way about my friends before
What she said is all in general and that doesn't make it less valid. What is so problematic about what she said?
@filipjohansson4293 In this context speaking in sweeping generalizations as if it's fact comes across as superficial. I typically don't have an issue with her statements, but they're usually very vague "common sense" that just sounds like it should be right. Because of her lack of clear reasoning or references to any sources besides just "men" or "women", I don't find her takes to be especially perceptive, persuasive, or worthy of being considered modern wisdom. That being said this clip is out of context, so I'm basing this off of this clip and her other popular shorts. Her points would have been better if she started with "I found that" or "In my experience".
@@joyces1365 So your biggest issue is the linguistics of it all. Correct?
When we speak in generality, we usually skip fraces like "in my experience", Because we're already assumed that this is based on the person's experience.
What she is saying also adds up with the male experience of being friends with a woman who you have intimate feelings for, feelings that is not reciprocated back.
I don't understand why you women have a hard time. Accepting generalization on the dynamics of relations of men and women.
Her generalization is a logical explanation to why men and women differ in their opinion on intersex platonic relationship.
Your experience might not be that what she is saying, but that doesn't make her generalization less true.
Literallaaay
That guy friend is just waiting for his moment . A shoulder to cry on is a *ick to lie on
What's she's really saying is keeping her options open,who wants to be with someone who keeps people in their lives they don't like, that's someone who's toxic themselves,she said at the end it's natural, keeping her options open
i am friendly woman but if i feel they have a feelings to me ,i stay away from them,just be friendly or friend but not close and bestfriend for ur safe and for them not to fall in love with u
Makes sense. From a guy perspective, the reason why I like to have female friends is that friendships with guys, though fun and entertaining, tend to be quite superficial, at least when I was a teen. It was awkward to talk about personal stuff, emotional difficulties and struggles with guys even if you felt the need for someone to listen. With girls and guys in a mixed group, the bar to talk about these things is lower. But some topics are better to talk among one's own gender only, such as sexual stuff.
Personal characteristics is the conditioning of the relationship not the sex between each other
In romantic relationship is completely otherwise.
If a woman grows to hate her man, she'll leave.
If a man secretly hates his woman, he'll stay while waiting for "a better option". He is very comfortable with having someone with who he can have sex and of course she cooks and cleans.
Women live with their men in one house, but they don't have to live with their female frenemies.
Therefore men can't truly LOVE their partners. But they still can be friends with other men.
Women play the odds and men have to work the odds.... and....to men everybody has a high value.....to women its only valuable if its 'mine"
This is a very broad generalization that I have to disagree with it. Almost degrading for women. I do not think this way as a female. I have friends, male or female, young or old, incredibly athletic to disabled, gay or straight. Genuine friends who support each other and their interests. My best friend is a male. We connected through trauma during our military service. He’s happily in a relationship with a partner now who understands and accepts me as a friend who cares for her partner as a brother, and same in my side with my partner. She also has guy friends in the same manner. I’m not overly dramatic or emotional to act like some high school girl and play favourites with women or men as my friends. Nor do I keep toxic people in my life like that.
This piece really makes it sound like all women have only this use for men. I’m here to say there’s definitely women out there who have male friends because they are just that… good person, a good friend. Gender just an aspect of the fact. And mind you, I have better conversations about beauty stuff with my gay male friends. They know so much!
The jig is up but keep lying
Same here. It's honestly amusing to see how many people in the comments are of the opinion that one can't possibly be friends with the opposite gender because apparently we are all just 100% hormonally driven animals who want to bang everybody who's in line of sight and remotely attractive. I think that way of thinking says more about them and their views on people than they realise.
I don’t hang out with female friends I don’t like - I stopped doing it last year and it changes my life
My rule of thumb is anything you say or do should be able to stand up on it’s own, if it were to come out.
That is totally untrue. She is twisted reality.
You’d have to ask in person
❤beautiful placement of words.
With respect, if any of my male friends who are not in my inner circle even gave a WHIFF of being attracted to me- they’re out the friendship circle and I would probably even stop being acquaintances. I have too much respect for my husband to keep men around who are too shady for that kind of tomfoolery.
I'm sure you'd want a friend that secretly loves you but I fucking don't
But if you can, can I get one too? 🤣
In other words male friendships are genuine and female friendships are opportunistic and political
I think it’s about boundaries and boundaries looks different between men than it does between women
I dated this girl for 1 year and half. She had many male characters in her life. A flatmate, an old friend who would call her drunk to say he loved her, an ex in her social media to whom she talked every once in a while….
Yes, it didn’t work out.
I’m glad I walked away.
Wow, she's so right. I always wondered why all my girl family members would stay friends with guys they knew loved them
Learning car racing, football or other male interests to just be popular is very transparent. It means legs apart soon. “She’s just a friend”. Wink wink.
So shes saying shes got simps disguised as friends knowing full well shes going to use them for whatever they are worth. The best thing as an alpha or sigma can do is tell her the truth and cut to the quick. Thats the only way to level out the field. User alert.
Fascinating how she speaks on behalf of all women. I’m sure that is much appreciated.
She said it straight out...' We want friends who secretly love us'... that's exactly why men don't want their girlfriends having guy friends.
She does my head in. Women want male friends for VALIDATION and because the majority of the time they know the friend fancies them. Imagine marrying a woman with this mindset 😅
Yh she dont understand though, guys that like the girls will always experience unrequited ‘love’ because she just wants a ‘friend’ until he gets fed up and leaves. It aint nice, id rather have no female friends than to be friendzoned and hide my feelings. I have sisters so i don’t necessarily need female friends anyways but yh, just cos the women prefer to have it like that, dont mean the guys do - so we leave. We aint tolerating friendzones and unrequited love
Women are fully aware of this, they just don't care
Your problem is that you interact with only one woman at a time. While you're having your "unrequited love", you can talk to other women and feel secure in yourself that you aren't trying to be more than friends, because you're already in love with that other one, right? Then whatever happens, happens. You either make some female friends and you see it was possible after all, or you catch feelings for one of the new ones. Then she either has feelings back, in which case - congratz! - or she doesn't, in which case you're back at square one, rinse and repeat.
This whole comment section reads like y'all spend more time theorizing than socializing.
I’m 37 and female, I’ve worked in male dominate fields my whole life, no one I dated ever cared that most of my friends were men because they come from similar backgrounds. The man I’m with now hates it so I’m more distant with my friends and more rude to men to help prevent him getting insecure, I don’t go places where I can make female friends, I’m super picky because what this woman said is 100% true, you can think you’ve got a great friend and find out she’s been talking shit for years. Most ‘girls nights out’ end up with multiple girls sleeping around, I won’t be around that type of person. And men should prefer their gf or spouse have three good guy friends over 5 female friends that will encourage her to leave him, that’s how women are, there are good ones but they are still friends with the kids they grew up with, making friends later in life is very hard
This is wrong, if you have guy friends that find you attractive they aren't your friends. If you texted any of those guys to come fuck home many would show up with a bottle of wine and packet of condoms
Nah, it’s more like this:
When you have a lot of options you don’t necessarily need or want some of them to be romantic. So it’s easier to keep things at a friend level.
Men are much more starved for options so they tend to get caught up going for whichever women are close to them.
Men desired by many people are the same as women. It’s better to get yourself to that place if you can, rather than pining after your female friends.
She's right... and I'm sorry to hear that, ma'am.
translation: would rather have a male "friend that secretly loves us than a female friend that secretly hates us..." and men to not feel threatened to the same extent that women do with friendships of the opposite sex.
Men who are willing to sit around and wait for the chance for a relationship don’t offer the same value an actual friend would offer,which is why I think this belief will skew your view of men because you’ll think men are ok sitting around and waiting for you when in reality a man worth your time isn’t going to bs about his feelings or sit around and wait.Some of the worst experiences I’ve seen a person have is when a girl realises there guy friends don’t actually care for them as people but as a potential sexual partner.If you have men like that around you as a woman your going to be very lonely because there never going to be honest,some will disappear as soon as you get in a relationship and the others will be waiting until there’s a crack in the armour.Also guys can tell if your keeping someone as a backup relationship and will not commit
Yea, reverse this entire situation and replace the words man/woman and this becomes a FIRE storm
Which is why we tell you and you need to understand no man is with you to be a friend short term or long-term. He’s figuring what his entry point is going to be he’s not there simply because he’s wanting to be your friend. He’s trying to make a move unless he’s homosexual.
Everyone is trying to twist this into "we keep men at a short leash just in case", but while there certainly are some women like that, the actual point is "male friendships are safer, because men won't stick around if they don't want to, and if they still stick around, it means the friendship is still real"
Remember if your not her boyfriend your her girlfriend.
Where are all the likes?...too funny not to like😂😂😂
Wow, u are so damn insightful with ur thinking n its damn powerful.I agree totally
Sexes can be friends, but there must be boundaries.
If I meet with a female friend, it’s in public and we each pay for our food. I make a point not to be alone with them, or to be going over to one another’s houses, especially if we would be alone.
You both make it clear that you are not a sexual option to each other. Just because we are sexual beings doesn’t mean that we have to be with everyone. At the same time, we don’t need to avoid the opposite sex you f we’re dating someone because that would imply that the only thing the opposite sex offers is a sexual relationship, and that’s just not true.
I agree. Every guy I was friends with, I know that if I ever said HEY DTF? they would jump on it INSTANTLY. however, I valued their friendship because they did put the friendship first and respected me.
But technically wouldnt you still get put first in a relationship?
The thing is, women also make terrible friends to men. Not only do we have the same problems as other women, but the romantic potential that, if unfulfilled, always results in the woman abandoning the friendships completely as soon as she finds a man. It's not really much of a friendship.
I remember this use to be so painful realizing she is just using me and you will get nothing back. She is that cruel and heartless.
Watching a woman explain what she thinks friendship is is fascinating.
They don’t have male friends. They have people who are interested in them sexually - and they like that - and they pretend they don’t.
THIS WOMAN IS A MASS
Those are not friends, those are orbiters in friendzone. And you know full well you keep them around to have backup options and ego boosts.
What I heard, "I like to keep my options open just in case things don't workout in my current relationship"
We understand. That’s the problem. You want options and less competition. The problem is men aren’t as naive as you think we are
There is a difference between being friends and having a 'blank' friend. Most friendships don't last, ones that do have a reason too or a bond that persisted through changes to life and circumstance. However most die after a couple of years just because people don't stay in touch, move apart, etc.
Because whatever a good friend offers can be found in 2-3 other people. So if someone has a friendship that has been hanging on for 8+ years and hasn't dropped off or slowed is suspicious because what element of your friendship has lasted more then univeristy, highschool, and work. What desire hasn't been fulfilled by their wider life if it isn't the sexual desire they want but never got.
This is the response you get when you ask “what do you mean, JUST a friend?”
The reason is self-flattery. She lacks the depth, the fierce loyalty, and the resolve to be in a committed marriage. A friend to all is a friend to none. Time teaches this lesson, and every man should take caution where these attitudes persist. Don't waste your time on someone who keeps back doors open. At whatever cost, find a good woman, and your happiness will know no end.
Been friends for 52 years married for almost 46
She is right though. I'm absolutely not a girl who watches her words but dude i dislike my friends sometimes, based on their actions. I openly criticize them and i prefer them to do so.
Not all women are like this and it is a toxic trait that they need to part with before they’re worth marrying. Guys can have real friendships with each other and give each other direct advice they don’t want to hear and still be friends. These types of women can’t handle that so they’d rather have male “friends” that worship the ground they walk on in futile hopes that it will someday lead to a relationship.
If you are aware of your friends' feelings for you and you kinda just dont adress it and lead them on forever, thats pretty messed up. Like yes nobody is entitled to you or your time but at the same time you should treat them and their feelings with respect. Talk to them and say that your flattered but unfortunately not interested and dont waste their time.