First step to progress is being able to admit you're wrong about something, so many people think themselves too good to be wrong and that's exactly why they're stuck.
Im reminded of a toxic couple who I would often hear one say and the other agree "I dont think its offensive", "I dont think its really racist/homophobic/ectec" And I would think "Ok? but it wasnt aimed at you.. The offensive joke or comment.. it was aimed at a minority or other group.. So ofc its not offensive to YOU. You dont get to decide what is hurtful to another person.. To another group."
precisely. I believe that I do try to be good, but I know that I could be wrong and I'm open to being corrected. but the operative word here is try, some folks don't even bother.
So much this. I see all of these videos talking about how men treat their dream girls vs how they treat women they are settling for. I have always believed that this is nonsense. If a man will mistreat a woman he deems a "slut", he is not a decent man. A truly good man respects all women. If he isn't interested in marrying or dating a woman with a high body count, he will simply not entertain her. There should be no "dream girl" behavior, only a man who wants to be a good partner regardless of the woman he's with.
@@misspriss2482 no, a truly good man who respects himself does not respect all women, respect is earned, not given out freely, if you're going to allow yourself to get run through by thousands of men, and demand respect from good men and also feel entitled to their advances, then no your aren't worthy of his respect, if you want him earn him, his dream girl is simply a person he's looking for to spend his life with, if you hate that, then don't date those men, after all, trashy men are built for trashy women.
@@JezeBellaMorte333 yes hence why men don't get with someone they think is trash, it's women who complain why those men aren't picking them, they think those preferences on men are quite shallow because they know that they've been ran through by so many people, that they think they're entitled to someone's love.
@@JezeBellaMorte333 also honey I don't get with people I think are trash unlike you who clearly does, I have standards, if I'm going to save myself for someone special then I'd hope that person would do the same.
Men, white people, adults, cishetero people, abled-bodied and so on 👏🏽💯 Let's talk about childism and every other kind of unfair discrimination and oppression as much as we do with the others 💯❤️
As much as I understand and agree that all the people doing bad things still believe they are good, and by their standards they are good, I wonder about creating this "only the opposite group can decide whether youre good or bad". Does that that mean that it works the other way around? Only men can deem women "good"? Only white people can deem other ethnic groups "good"? Cause unless we add something to this logic this is the conclusion of it. What I do think is that we should accept that people will have different standards and call themselves good but in the eyes of someone else they arent. But even the people who criticise their behaviour as in women or other have different standards. You think you wont find a woman who says "that a man should be the master of the household and the woman should be submissive"? The line in the sand moves constantly and what we should focus on is not who draws it, but where it is redrawn every day. We need to push it further towards the goal of societal wellbeing not as men or women but as a group that understands the need for change. Anyway I'm just an idjit and dont take my spit here for anything more than that.
Nobody can deem another *person* good or bad. It's about *behaviours* Good people do bad things all the time. And when it comes to judging behaviours, I think it's important that a) this can only ever be a "collective" judgement; not about any random individual being put in a position to claim authority on what is or isn't right and b) that we need to pay special consideration to the perspective of the less powerful group not because their perspective were the only one that mattered, but because theirs is the one that's so easily and routinely overlooked and dismissed. To properly consider all relevant perspectives on a behaviour, we need to amplify the 'weaker' one. Metaphorically speaking: To make sure that all lives do indeed matter, we might have to take to the streets and say Black Lives Matter. To make sure that men's and women's views are reflected in our collective judgement, we might have to repeat over and over: listen to women. And so on.
That's so true. But I feel like I should point that out, that an individual woman saying sth else doesn't debunk what the mayority of women (because this sadly seems to be a point a lot of people are making). It's sth the mayority of women should agree on :)
Yeah, and she is doing exactly what white people should be doing, calling out the BS behavior of white people. White people are the best people to speak on the hurtful sh*t we do while we are thumping our chest, telling everyone what a good person we are.
I don’t know if this is the full speech, or if there is missing context. But if there is no missing context, then frankly this speech was just a bunch of meaningless platitudes and vague rhetoric. If you want us to draw better lines, if you want good men to define themselves by good qualities instead of just not being bad men, then give actual examples, actual advice, actual pragmatic actions we can take. If you won’t go into specifics then you might as well have said nothing at all. If you want people to actually listen to you then maybe have something useful to say, instead of just being a condescending prick.
This isn't supposed to be practical advice on how to be a good man. This is about recognising that most people always think themselves fundamentally good and therefore their actions cannot be bad. So many people think they're so incapable they're wrong they're unable to recognise when they are.
@@PauLtus_B If this was just supposed to be about how most people think they’re good and teaching them to recognize that they could be wrong, then her statements should have been more generic, as that’s advice that’s applicable to everyone. But instead she made her statements about men, and especially white men. If she wanted men to take her seriously then her speech should have boiled down to “men who do X suck and need to do better.” That would make it clear to men what they need to work on or what they need to call out in other men. But instead her speech boiled down to “men suck and need to do better.” It’s just insulting. Rather than explain which negative behaviors men need to correct, it just denigrates all men. As someone who leans politically left, this is a major problem in a lot of left leaning spaces. When it comes to most demographics and groups those on the left are very quick to point out and criticize dehumanizing generalizations. But for some reason they don’t extend this same courtesy to men, and instead frequently make casual and often cruel jokes and generalizations about men that would be completely unacceptable for any other group. And then they wonder why a lot of men don’t stick around and end up sucked into the toxic manipulations of the right.
@@BLZ231 ...and she does extend it. I also have to say whenever I hear some general complaints about men I have no problem not taking it personally at all, (I guess unless someone personally targets it at me and then refuses to elaborate why). I'll stand by that toxic masculinity is probably the biggest problem men have to deal with, so I have no issue hearing it get critiqued.
First step to progress is being able to admit you're wrong about something, so many people think themselves too good to be wrong and that's exactly why they're stuck.
Im reminded of a toxic couple who I would often hear one say and the other agree "I dont think its offensive", "I dont think its really racist/homophobic/ectec" And I would think "Ok? but it wasnt aimed at you.. The offensive joke or comment.. it was aimed at a minority or other group.. So ofc its not offensive to YOU. You dont get to decide what is hurtful to another person.. To another group."
My friend got beaten by her husband when she was pregnant. He was the good man because she “was crazy”.
That is insane and horrible and despicable behavior. I hope your friend is okay!
MY F-CKING GOSH!! 😰😨😱 THAT'S BEYOND INSANE AND TERRIFYING
@@PhoenixHeartCure no. She’s still with him. She gained an extrem amount of weight, looks unhappy and is completely diminished.
As good people we need to be comfortable with the possibility of being wrong.
precisely. I believe that I do try to be good, but I know that I could be wrong and I'm open to being corrected. but the operative word here is try, some folks don't even bother.
@@KC-2049 exactly. Trying is way better than nothing!
She's so right ❤
I love your profile pic. I'm going to get that as a badge 😄
She usually is.
So much this. I see all of these videos talking about how men treat their dream girls vs how they treat women they are settling for. I have always believed that this is nonsense. If a man will mistreat a woman he deems a "slut", he is not a decent man. A truly good man respects all women. If he isn't interested in marrying or dating a woman with a high body count, he will simply not entertain her. There should be no "dream girl" behavior, only a man who wants to be a good partner regardless of the woman he's with.
@@misspriss2482 no, a truly good man who respects himself does not respect all women, respect is earned, not given out freely, if you're going to allow yourself to get run through by thousands of men, and demand respect from good men and also feel entitled to their advances, then no your aren't worthy of his respect, if you want him earn him, his dream girl is simply a person he's looking for to spend his life with, if you hate that, then don't date those men, after all, trashy men are built for trashy women.
exactly
@@sindelscat9336 Don't get with someone you think is trash. Wouldn't want you to do something to them worse than disrespect them by name calling.
@@JezeBellaMorte333 yes hence why men don't get with someone they think is trash, it's women who complain why those men aren't picking them, they think those preferences on men are quite shallow because they know that they've been ran through by so many people, that they think they're entitled to someone's love.
@@JezeBellaMorte333 also honey I don't get with people I think are trash unlike you who clearly does, I have standards, if I'm going to save myself for someone special then I'd hope that person would do the same.
Men, white people, adults, cishetero people, abled-bodied and so on 👏🏽💯
Let's talk about childism and every other kind of unfair discrimination and oppression as much as we do with the others 💯❤️
It's also incredibly suspicious who decides what makes a good "Christian" too.
@@RoonMian Yes. Christians and other mayor hierarchical religious groups too.
Wow!! She is 100% right!
I like how the people in these comments cant comprehend the message.
Thank you ❤💯👏🏽🫂
YUP!
Speaking the truth
As much as I understand and agree that all the people doing bad things still believe they are good, and by their standards they are good, I wonder about creating this "only the opposite group can decide whether youre good or bad". Does that that mean that it works the other way around? Only men can deem women "good"? Only white people can deem other ethnic groups "good"? Cause unless we add something to this logic this is the conclusion of it.
What I do think is that we should accept that people will have different standards and call themselves good but in the eyes of someone else they arent. But even the people who criticise their behaviour as in women or other have different standards. You think you wont find a woman who says "that a man should be the master of the household and the woman should be submissive"? The line in the sand moves constantly and what we should focus on is not who draws it, but where it is redrawn every day. We need to push it further towards the goal of societal wellbeing not as men or women but as a group that understands the need for change.
Anyway I'm just an idjit and dont take my spit here for anything more than that.
Nobody can deem another *person* good or bad. It's about *behaviours* Good people do bad things all the time.
And when it comes to judging behaviours, I think it's important that a) this can only ever be a "collective" judgement; not about any random individual being put in a position to claim authority on what is or isn't right and b) that we need to pay special consideration to the perspective of the less powerful group not because their perspective were the only one that mattered, but because theirs is the one that's so easily and routinely overlooked and dismissed. To properly consider all relevant perspectives on a behaviour, we need to amplify the 'weaker' one.
Metaphorically speaking: To make sure that all lives do indeed matter, we might have to take to the streets and say Black Lives Matter. To make sure that men's and women's views are reflected in our collective judgement, we might have to repeat over and over: listen to women. And so on.
@@br3669 Ok I agree that with the addition of perspective overlook caused by the group minority it makes sense. Thanks for the response.
Wow. Incredible! Love Hannah Gadsby! ty
That's so true. But I feel like I should point that out, that an individual woman saying sth else doesn't debunk what the mayority of women (because this sadly seems to be a point a lot of people are making). It's sth the mayority of women should agree on :)
Hannah isn't a woman, they're non-binary.
Briffault's Law
What are you???? Ah!!! White
What are you? Ahh racist
@@joshsiegfried1329❤🎉
What's your point?
Yeah, and she is doing exactly what white people should be doing, calling out the BS behavior of white people. White people are the best people to speak on the hurtful sh*t we do while we are thumping our chest, telling everyone what a good person we are.
She is such a pitiful person.
Jealous huh. Don't worry, one day you'll be half as good as her. ✌️
@@ACAB.forcutie I doubt it, unfortunately.
I don’t know if this is the full speech, or if there is missing context. But if there is no missing context, then frankly this speech was just a bunch of meaningless platitudes and vague rhetoric. If you want us to draw better lines, if you want good men to define themselves by good qualities instead of just not being bad men, then give actual examples, actual advice, actual pragmatic actions we can take. If you won’t go into specifics then you might as well have said nothing at all. If you want people to actually listen to you then maybe have something useful to say, instead of just being a condescending prick.
This isn't supposed to be practical advice on how to be a good man.
This is about recognising that most people always think themselves fundamentally good and therefore their actions cannot be bad.
So many people think they're so incapable they're wrong they're unable to recognise when they are.
@@PauLtus_B If this was just supposed to be about how most people think they’re good and teaching them to recognize that they could be wrong, then her statements should have been more generic, as that’s advice that’s applicable to everyone. But instead she made her statements about men, and especially white men.
If she wanted men to take her seriously then her speech should have boiled down to “men who do X suck and need to do better.” That would make it clear to men what they need to work on or what they need to call out in other men. But instead her speech boiled down to “men suck and need to do better.” It’s just insulting. Rather than explain which negative behaviors men need to correct, it just denigrates all men.
As someone who leans politically left, this is a major problem in a lot of left leaning spaces. When it comes to most demographics and groups those on the left are very quick to point out and criticize dehumanizing generalizations. But for some reason they don’t extend this same courtesy to men, and instead frequently make casual and often cruel jokes and generalizations about men that would be completely unacceptable for any other group. And then they wonder why a lot of men don’t stick around and end up sucked into the toxic manipulations of the right.
@@BLZ231 She’s not giving goodmen lessons. 😂
@@BLZ231
...and she does extend it.
I also have to say whenever I hear some general complaints about men I have no problem not taking it personally at all, (I guess unless someone personally targets it at me and then refuses to elaborate why).
I'll stand by that toxic masculinity is probably the biggest problem men have to deal with, so I have no issue hearing it get critiqued.
She did extend it beyond men...she extended it to ALL human beings. So how the hell did you miss that part?