I had no contact with my son for 3 years - the closest, most important relationship in my life - turned to dust. Thank you Ryan for all of your advice. He now lives with me and for the last 2 years we have slowly been rebuilding our relationship. If I've learned anything it's to be gentle. Not get angry about skewed thinking. And to hang in there and keep reaching out to your kids without expectation. Love wins eventually.
I recently connected with my daughter after 5 years. She thanked me for changing so that we could rebuild our relationship. Although I had no idea what she meant, I just went along with it. Your video cleared things up for me. Thank you. Alienated parents I know you feel as if someone ripped your soul from your body. But fight to stay strong, build physical and mental strength through self-care. My ex husband wanted my daughter to believe that I was weak, unable to care for her or myself. So I put all my energy into becoming a super hero. Now he is powerless. She's 15 and she wants to come home.
I’m an alienated mother. I haven’t seen my daughter in ten years. The father would not allow me any access. I was a good, decent, kind, loving mother. I wasn’t coping with the family court system and tried to settle out of court. I asked for every second weekend and was denied. She recently turned 18. Her father told me that I am abusive and can’t see my daughter. He told me that she agrees. They asked me to never contact them again. I was a very good mother to her, but she has forgotten about all the time and energy I put into her. My role as a mother has been completely eliminated and erased. I don’t think she will ever give me the time of day again. I’m still working through the grief and confusion. It’s really difficult to process and incredibly stressful and painful. I don’t think I’m ever going to hear from her again. I sense that I have been permanently erased.
The problem is the pathogenic parent and his or her family have actively earased any good memories the chilren had and have been successful at convincing the kids the alienated parent is different than he or she is. Their personalities and the morals completely change and they are made into different people.
This is happening right now to my friend's daughter. She was a daddy's girl and now believes her father abandoned her and her mom saved her. She's getting into tons of trouble in school and has anger issues like her mom now. She wasn't like this at all a few years ago. It's awful what this woman did to that girl.
From a Fathers perspective; we don't change. The reason that Parental Alienation is child abuse is because the other parent puts words into a child's head that they are not able to process. Thoughts are for opinions, and perspective is from experience. It's bold you took towards your Father, as not many adult kids will want to venture down that road. I've always told my kids there are two ways you live as an adult; 1. The easy way, which might be more from what you've been told, which may not be real 2. The necessary way, which it what you yourself will live as most all responsible, and accountable adults do. PTSD in Fathers is a huge problem in this Country. Not enough Men are speaking out about the abuse they/we are being put through when it comes to the incompetence of the Family Court System. They are Federally Funded to destroy the family dynamic. 3% Dead Beat Dads, 96% Alienated Dads; 1% get to remain in a child's life as a Father Figure after a divorce. It's not hard to see in society either.
@y.a.p8951 I understand that men/fathers used to get the shaft when it came to awarding child custody orders, but as a mother who has been alienated from her child for eight agonizing years and speaking to multiple mothers who are experiencing the same nightmare, please know that moms suffer as well from the corrupt court system. :(
Ryan . . . I think more importantly the adult child needs to first recognize that the alienating parent has had an adverse effect on them and their perception of the targeted parent.
I hope my kids come back at some point like you did.
Me too 😢
I had no contact with my son for 3 years - the closest, most important relationship in my life - turned to dust. Thank you Ryan for all of your advice. He now lives with me and for the last 2 years we have slowly been rebuilding our relationship. If I've learned anything it's to be gentle. Not get angry about skewed thinking. And to hang in there and keep reaching out to your kids without expectation. Love wins eventually.
I recently connected with my daughter after 5 years. She thanked me for changing so that we could rebuild our relationship. Although I had no idea what she meant, I just went along with it. Your video cleared things up for me. Thank you. Alienated parents I know you feel as if someone ripped your soul from your body. But fight to stay strong, build physical and mental strength through self-care. My ex husband wanted my daughter to believe that I was weak, unable to care for her or myself. So I put all my energy into becoming a super hero. Now he is powerless. She's 15 and she wants to come home.
I’m an alienated mother. I haven’t seen my daughter in ten years. The father would not allow me any access. I was a good, decent, kind, loving mother. I wasn’t coping with the family court system and tried to settle out of court. I asked for every second weekend and was denied. She recently turned 18. Her father told me that I am abusive and can’t see my daughter. He told me that she agrees. They asked me to never contact them again. I was a very good mother to her, but she has forgotten about all the time and energy I put into her. My role as a mother has been completely eliminated and erased. I don’t think she will ever give me the time of day again. I’m still working through the grief and confusion. It’s really difficult to process and incredibly stressful and painful. I don’t think I’m ever going to hear from her again. I sense that I have been permanently erased.
Things change as the darkly influential parent's control wanes. Don't count yourself out yet!
The problem is the pathogenic parent and his or her family have actively earased any good memories the chilren had and have been successful at convincing the kids the alienated parent is different than he or she is. Their personalities and the morals completely change and they are made into different people.
This is happening right now to my friend's daughter. She was a daddy's girl and now believes her father abandoned her and her mom saved her. She's getting into tons of trouble in school and has anger issues like her mom now.
She wasn't like this at all a few years ago. It's awful what this woman did to that girl.
From a Fathers perspective; we don't change. The reason that Parental Alienation is child abuse is because the other parent puts words into a child's head that they are not able to process. Thoughts are for opinions, and perspective is from experience. It's bold you took towards your Father, as not many adult kids will want to venture down that road. I've always told my kids there are two ways you live as an adult; 1. The easy way, which might be more from what you've been told, which may not be real 2. The necessary way, which it what you yourself will live as most all responsible, and accountable adults do. PTSD in Fathers is a huge problem in this Country. Not enough Men are speaking out about the abuse they/we are being put through when it comes to the incompetence of the Family Court System. They are Federally Funded to destroy the family dynamic. 3% Dead Beat Dads, 96% Alienated Dads; 1% get to remain in a child's life as a Father Figure after a divorce. It's not hard to see in society either.
that's the conclusion I come to as well.
Guess who benefit from imposing a deadbeat dad's narrative.
It happens to mom's too.
@y.a.p8951 I understand that men/fathers used to get the shaft when it came to awarding child custody orders, but as a mother who has been alienated from her child for eight agonizing years and speaking to multiple mothers who are experiencing the same nightmare, please know that moms suffer as well from the corrupt court system. :(
A father would only like you to be safe and happy in the belonging he knew from childhood you've been seeking.
I would like to request an interview
Ryan . . . I think more importantly the adult child needs to first recognize that the alienating parent has had an adverse effect on them and their perception of the targeted parent.