How To Deal With Losing Friends & Gaining New Ones Over 40

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  • Опубликовано: 17 янв 2024
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Комментарии • 121

  • @declanbrady9765
    @declanbrady9765 5 месяцев назад +7

    We broke up almost 3 years ago,tried everything to fix it,lost myself in the process. Tried to move on,dating, clothes,shoes,you name it. I still love her... totally understand why theres so many lonely men in the world.
    Coupled with getting a management role at my company doesn't help when you're trying to make friends..keep the faith everyone

  • @omarcortes5754
    @omarcortes5754 5 месяцев назад +13

    Time has been a filter for me. People who really care about you stay with you, those who don't slowly fade away.

  • @noName-kn1lx
    @noName-kn1lx 5 месяцев назад +8

    Had to let some friends go the drama /trouble/ problems they brought i just dont have time for. If you are in your 50s you realistically have about 20 years left. Use it carefully

  • @RedRoyce
    @RedRoyce 5 месяцев назад +12

    These are all good ideas. I was married for 30 years and she walked out with her new drummer boy toy right after the doctor told me I had a mild case of UC. What little friends I had was gone as you said. My job was in upper management so you can't really become close friends with fellow workers. It was a hard time for me and I know many others was in some kind of same boat with me. I worked on me and went out into the dating world really for the first time and I sucked at it. I knew how to be a husband but this?? I started studying and wow after a few months of working it (how to date again) I soon realized I was a man in short supply. I was 5:11, 175lb, had my hair and just under a 100k income. Now you don't have to be all that in the looks dept guys but take care of yourself best you can. If your confident your much more hotter then you think to the ladies.

    • @40OverFashion
      @40OverFashion  5 месяцев назад +1

      I would say there’s more guys in your same situation then most people realize. Thank you very much for commenting!

  • @DavidMeinke
    @DavidMeinke 5 месяцев назад +8

    We've had Distinguished Gentlemens Drinking Club meetings about twice a month. For 10 years now. It's a good time. We talk football, heavy metal and women.

  • @robertreynolds2726
    @robertreynolds2726 5 месяцев назад +4

    Im 57 and been divorced for 3 years. Dating and etc is off the table. I have great friends and family. Im totally good being by myself with friends and family. I dont want to add a psychotic woman with baggage.

  • @geoffreyralph8198
    @geoffreyralph8198 5 месяцев назад +4

    I was divorced after 30 yrs of marriage and felt lost so I moved to Spain and started a new life I now have great friends a new partner and it’s all good I play tennis ,Padel and we have gents lunch once a month and curry night once a month ,but don’t sell yourself short don’t think the first woman you meet is all you’ll find ,hold your head high and be strong ,look good and be healthy friends .

    • @40OverFashion
      @40OverFashion  5 месяцев назад

      Thanks for sharing!

    • @lifeadvice3831
      @lifeadvice3831 Месяц назад

      How long did it take you to make friends after moving to spain ? Im considering the same thing

  • @DavidSmith-gs7fy
    @DavidSmith-gs7fy 5 месяцев назад +3

    58 divorced and finally have the relationship I should have had. But so true about the friends. It's a really hard truth. Thanks for sharing.

    • @40OverFashion
      @40OverFashion  5 месяцев назад

      My pleasure! Thanks for watching!

  • @dm9078
    @dm9078 5 месяцев назад +10

    That part about men being alone is so damn true! There is an epidemic of male loneliness in this country.

  • @gabrielsanto1962
    @gabrielsanto1962 5 месяцев назад +2

    Thanks for the content John. Dealing with loosing your spouse in a loving marriage is a heavy loss. Helping guys understand how to be confident going forward is encouraging. Good stuff man.

  • @JH-kd3io
    @JH-kd3io 3 месяца назад

    Some really good points there, really good to hear, and great ideas, thanks

  • @SeanA.Skeete-wd4vi
    @SeanA.Skeete-wd4vi 5 месяцев назад +1

    So true and on point as usual John. Your advice is so "needed😊🎉💯🙏".

  • @kev_man_nh4405
    @kev_man_nh4405 5 месяцев назад +6

    Where is the link for the site you talked about @ the 4:50 mark? I am not seeing it and may not be caffeinated enough yet this morning.

    • @40OverFashion
      @40OverFashion  5 месяцев назад +1

      Sorry, I just added it to the description.

  • @ninjakris3004
    @ninjakris3004 5 месяцев назад +2

    You’re early this morning! Interesting… Thanks for yet another great video

  • @chrisb3902
    @chrisb3902 5 месяцев назад +1

    This is real life for sure. Experienced this after going through divorce in my mid forties. It was and is still difficult. Thanks for the video John.

    • @40OverFashion
      @40OverFashion  5 месяцев назад

      Very welcome! Thanks for watching!

  • @FasLearning-qk2yn
    @FasLearning-qk2yn 5 месяцев назад +2

    This is something that I will definitely try with a handful of friends. I'm starting to wear suits to the office and I'm kind of creating a trending with such friends. Regards from México!!

  • @stuheinecke8457
    @stuheinecke8457 5 месяцев назад +1

    John, fascinating stuff!

  • @carloluigid2104
    @carloluigid2104 5 месяцев назад +1

    Love your channel. I find the content to be really helpful and compassionately delivered. What's the watch on your wrist, by the way? It looks great, but I could never seem to pause the video at the right spot to get a good enough view of it.

    • @40OverFashion
      @40OverFashion  5 месяцев назад +1

      Thank you! It’s a Tudor Black Bay GMT.

  • @DavidHodginsPhotography
    @DavidHodginsPhotography 5 месяцев назад +2

    Pass along to your buddy: he’s not alone. My wife died June of last year. I retire in 3 weeks at 52, after a 33 year career. I now have an 18 year old stepdaughter in college who lost her mom, and now we’re both trying to adjust. The retirement plan from this time last year is out the window.

    • @40OverFashion
      @40OverFashion  5 месяцев назад

      Thanks David, I did pass along.

  • @vicf6509
    @vicf6509 5 месяцев назад +1

    Great content. The one thing the scale does not take into account is the crazy/stable score.😂

  • @ronm6585
    @ronm6585 5 месяцев назад +1

    Thanks John.

  • @matthewcormier8744
    @matthewcormier8744 5 месяцев назад +3

    I'm Proud and very Happy to have subscribed to your channel

  • @kopfjaeger308
    @kopfjaeger308 5 месяцев назад +2

    I lost the last of my guy friends years ago. I have literally zero that are not "online only", and them I've never met in real life. I don't have a "day job", and don't really have any reason to go anywhere. Heck, with my wife working 12-13 hour days I rarely even see her. My closest friend is 7 and still, blessedly, thinks I'm the best dad in the world.

  • @DaveDolphinOK
    @DaveDolphinOK 5 месяцев назад +1

    I’ve been married for almost 30 years, and besides my wife I’m not sure I have a true male friend. I have tons of dudes that I know and talk to about things we’re passionate about. But the one friend you call when it’s 3am and it all hits the fan, I feel like it’s much more rare than the female counterpart.

  • @tobiasparker1946
    @tobiasparker1946 5 месяцев назад +3

    Good topic. When you’re hit with a divorce, you feel deflated and usually you will need to redefine yourself and your social life. This video does a good job of providing a man’s independent perspective on your value as newly single man. Always enjoy your videos.

  • @guyh.4553
    @guyh.4553 5 месяцев назад

    Very telling video. I broke up with my fiance in 2014. Since then I've dated 2 women. Neither one did i go "all the way" with. From 2014 - '21 i was a caregiver for my parents. Extremely little chance to go out find men to hang out with. Actually it was about 3-4 dudes. '21 I moved to WA State. At that point in time, I had 2 really close male friends and a 3rd that was my best friend growing up. One that I had known since 2001. He ghosted me. Tried to find out what happened. Have not heard a peep. So, now I only have 2 friends that I can count on and one or two more in ID that are good friends and they are 575 miles away. Best friend, who lives in WA, is 3 hours away still. I know practically no one outside of work, that I just started as the job that brought me here canned me after 3 mos. So, for all intensive purposes, outside of my participation in The American Legion, I have zip.... other than my cat.

  • @daringrayson4661
    @daringrayson4661 5 месяцев назад +7

    Awesome video, John. I got a .01% on that scale. 🤣 I am printing it out for my wife.

    • @40OverFashion
      @40OverFashion  5 месяцев назад

      Haha!

    • @tonydeneri501
      @tonydeneri501 5 месяцев назад +1

      Same! (.043%). 😂 Will be sharing the results with my wife. haha.

  • @matthewcormier8744
    @matthewcormier8744 5 месяцев назад +1

    You Make a Good point I always seek improvement self-care and looksmaxing learning from you and so Many other Good people

  • @CoachSteveJandS
    @CoachSteveJandS 5 месяцев назад +2

    Getting out of the house is crucial. You won't meet new people by hibernation...

  • @Steven-hk2wb
    @Steven-hk2wb 5 месяцев назад +4

    Thanks for this! I never knew I was in the 0.30%! At 60 and single, confidence can be a struggle in the dating scene, especially when your standards are high. You gave me confidence today.
    As for the "pretend" friends, who were only your friends because of their wife's approval, they need to seriously think about who they married, and is their marriage healthy for them or not.

  • @donherbert1561
    @donherbert1561 5 месяцев назад +7

    It’s better to have a few friends 1 foot wide and 1 mile deep, than many friends 1 mile wide and 1 foot deep.

  • @wallyg77
    @wallyg77 5 месяцев назад +3

    DELUSION SCORE 😂😂😂😂😂

  • @derekporter66
    @derekporter66 5 месяцев назад +3

    Age 26 they died. Married. Kids. Mortgages. Now I see then maybe once a year

  • @danielj3010
    @danielj3010 5 месяцев назад +2

    Yessss the delusion calculator!!

  • @CryptoBiz7
    @CryptoBiz7 5 месяцев назад +1

    This is a hard truth.

    • @40OverFashion
      @40OverFashion  5 месяцев назад +1

      Absolutely! Thanks for watching!

  • @angusm9419
    @angusm9419 5 месяцев назад +2

    Friends come and go for a multitude of reasons.
    Hard times reveal true friends and you find out who is a friend and who is just there for the laughs.

  • @christopherbarker976
    @christopherbarker976 5 месяцев назад +2

    Hi John great video have you heard of a man called Jack Canfield his book the success principles is excellent I can really recommend it .
    Take care. Christopher Barker

    • @40OverFashion
      @40OverFashion  5 месяцев назад

      I have not heard of that one. Thank you!

  • @Alex-bt9uu
    @Alex-bt9uu 5 месяцев назад +2

    Where is the calculator link? Thanks in advance!

    • @40OverFashion
      @40OverFashion  5 месяцев назад +1

      Oops! Just added it to the description.

  • @jaysonx5576
    @jaysonx5576 5 месяцев назад +1

    After my 20 year marriage, then divorce, I was terrified to date, thought I was over the hill… until I realized I was a kid in the damn candy store! 😂 🍭 Gents, there is absolutely nothing to fear in this regard. My recently divorced buddy is having the time of his life! 53 years young.

  • @Avatinfernus
    @Avatinfernus 2 месяца назад

    OK but the video didn't answer the question about how to deal with losing friends. I lost a friend recently, suppose I wanted some comfort or ideas... and then this video just talks about dating and "being in the 1%" or whatev.

  • @chrialivest
    @chrialivest 5 месяцев назад

    @CourtneyRyan - 4:48 of the video

  • @FloridaManConstruction
    @FloridaManConstruction 5 месяцев назад +5

    Perhaps you could do a video about losing friends after you level up? Thanks!

  • @dennisclark4144
    @dennisclark4144 5 месяцев назад

    I have what I call (acquaintances) but I have one true friend, and we meet every Wednesday for wings and drinks. The others, could care less!

  • @benlorenzo1966
    @benlorenzo1966 5 месяцев назад

    No very few friends, no family nearby.
    Divorce is evident .. she's a Christian, I am not and don't plan to be. We're coming up on 28yrs married. She says she is just waiting to die because she has no purpose anymore 😢

  • @smartparts000
    @smartparts000 Месяц назад

    The "going out alone" video was more helpful in making new friends than this one. Just saying... but Im sure Ill find another one i can use.

  • @gerardlead9321
    @gerardlead9321 5 месяцев назад +1

    Is that point 0.3 percent or 30%

  • @consummatebachelor7327
    @consummatebachelor7327 5 месяцев назад +3

    Oh, by the way I am a .0045% man.

  • @noName-kn1lx
    @noName-kn1lx 5 месяцев назад +3

    I would add being on the dating market is not a goal. Explore your interests your desires your dreams don’t think having a woman is the end all of your existence

  • @alpabopo
    @alpabopo 5 месяцев назад

    Tell your friend to read the rational male by Rollo Tomassi or the unplugged alpha by rich cooper. He’ll thank you greatly

  • @joebagodonutssummertime8267
    @joebagodonutssummertime8267 5 месяцев назад

    .7 % for me.. Should I buy a shirt and advertise? lol

  • @brandipiecora7640
    @brandipiecora7640 5 месяцев назад

    All of our couple friends are my husbands friends

  • @alwayspooh1588
    @alwayspooh1588 5 месяцев назад +2

    No partner/wife, no children, no real friends I can talk to, no siblings. Life can suck. What is the way out? I do not know. What I do know are the sleepless nights as my mind races about loneliness and how lonely I am.

    • @MrAnarchris
      @MrAnarchris 5 месяцев назад

      Exactly the same here.

    • @declanbrady9765
      @declanbrady9765 5 месяцев назад +1

      Hang in there team. You got this

    • @MrAnarchris
      @MrAnarchris 5 месяцев назад +1

      @@declanbrady9765
      You're a good person. 👍

  • @carmelofelix9308
    @carmelofelix9308 5 месяцев назад +37

    Dude! 28 years married (32 years in total). Felt destroyed when she wanted to divorce. Now couldn’t be happier and also began to date again (easier than I thought it would be). Life is good!

    • @40OverFashion
      @40OverFashion  5 месяцев назад +1

      Good man!

    • @benlorenzo1966
      @benlorenzo1966 5 месяцев назад

      How old are ya? My wants a divorce but her religious beliefs say she can't be the one to initiate it. I'm not sure what to do 😢

    • @carmelofelix9308
      @carmelofelix9308 5 месяцев назад +2

      @@benlorenzo1966 Hi, well in my mid-fifties. At the beginning is hard. Took therapy that was very helpful. Also read about philosophy. The truth is that if she is thinking about that sooner or later she will do it. Get ready and keep going.

    • @peterredit1305
      @peterredit1305 4 месяца назад

      Let her go my friend, she has already checked out.
      Move on and stay positive!

  • @KS-yb1wq
    @KS-yb1wq 5 месяцев назад +3

    Well John, bullseye. I thought you were talking about me. Married for 33 years, wife passed away 7 months ago, kids have flown the coop, and I'm just sitting here. You're also right about older men having the buying power. I earn 100K+ (in my second career after I aged out of my first career) but I'm going to retire for good very soon. Calculator puts me at less than 1 percent.

  • @jongurn00
    @jongurn00 17 дней назад

    Exclude obese…..oof! 😅

  • @consummatebachelor7327
    @consummatebachelor7327 5 месяцев назад +2

    I'll be your friend John.
    Seriously, at 50 i have maybe 2-3 real friends that I could count on to help me 'bury the body' (metaphorically). Any one else is an acquaintance - period.
    Life happens, and you move through stages. As an avowed bachelor I have seen many 'friends' come-and-go as they get married and have kids. Shit happens, you move on.

  • @noName-kn1lx
    @noName-kn1lx 5 месяцев назад +3

    In reality those weren’t your friends they were your wifes friends husbands. And chances are they didn’t really care one way or the other about you

  • @brandondelgado7731
    @brandondelgado7731 5 месяцев назад

    Fun calculator. Wish they would separate more on the race since we are not only white, black or Asian.

  • @chrisclokey4840
    @chrisclokey4840 5 месяцев назад

    Why was the "full head of hair" relevant?

    • @40OverFashion
      @40OverFashion  5 месяцев назад +1

      Good grief! Because he’s in his mid-50s and it is relevant.

    • @chrisclokey4840
      @chrisclokey4840 5 месяцев назад

      @@40OverFashion Explain to me how it is relevant to your point?

    • @40OverFashion
      @40OverFashion  5 месяцев назад +2

      Because most men in their mid to late 50s do not have a full head of hair. It’s also relevant to his physical description of being a good looking guy. Period. I will not continue to go back-and-forth with you on this.

    • @RScottBell
      @RScottBell 5 месяцев назад +2

      “Full head of hair” is very often cited by women as a desirable trait in an eligible man.

    • @chrisclokey4840
      @chrisclokey4840 5 месяцев назад +1

      @@40OverFashion don’t worry you won’t have to, 5 year subscriber unsubscribing.

  • @thebig476
    @thebig476 5 месяцев назад

    Modern people and modern life is shyte. Scoring and judging people by a number 1-10, WTF is that all about? How tall they all, how much they earn, how much hair they have, WTF have we become, so judgemental. I'd rather be a sigma lone wolf than put up with all that shyte out there.

  • @teenoso4069
    @teenoso4069 5 месяцев назад +1

    Your channel isnt what it use to be

    • @40OverFashion
      @40OverFashion  5 месяцев назад +1

      True. We grow, experiment and try new things.

  • @tat2trker
    @tat2trker 5 месяцев назад +1

    Typically I enjoy your content. This however was rubbish. This was more about what to do with your existing friends to support each other, nothing about gaining new friends or putting yourself out there to create new friendships etc.

    • @40OverFashion
      @40OverFashion  5 месяцев назад +1

      Can’t win them all I guess. Thanks for the feedback. I’ll keep trying.