How To Deal With Losing Friends & Gaining New Ones Over 40
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- Опубликовано: 17 янв 2024
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We broke up almost 3 years ago,tried everything to fix it,lost myself in the process. Tried to move on,dating, clothes,shoes,you name it. I still love her... totally understand why theres so many lonely men in the world.
Coupled with getting a management role at my company doesn't help when you're trying to make friends..keep the faith everyone
Time has been a filter for me. People who really care about you stay with you, those who don't slowly fade away.
Yes 💯
Well said!
Had to let some friends go the drama /trouble/ problems they brought i just dont have time for. If you are in your 50s you realistically have about 20 years left. Use it carefully
These are all good ideas. I was married for 30 years and she walked out with her new drummer boy toy right after the doctor told me I had a mild case of UC. What little friends I had was gone as you said. My job was in upper management so you can't really become close friends with fellow workers. It was a hard time for me and I know many others was in some kind of same boat with me. I worked on me and went out into the dating world really for the first time and I sucked at it. I knew how to be a husband but this?? I started studying and wow after a few months of working it (how to date again) I soon realized I was a man in short supply. I was 5:11, 175lb, had my hair and just under a 100k income. Now you don't have to be all that in the looks dept guys but take care of yourself best you can. If your confident your much more hotter then you think to the ladies.
I would say there’s more guys in your same situation then most people realize. Thank you very much for commenting!
We've had Distinguished Gentlemens Drinking Club meetings about twice a month. For 10 years now. It's a good time. We talk football, heavy metal and women.
Perfect!
Im 57 and been divorced for 3 years. Dating and etc is off the table. I have great friends and family. Im totally good being by myself with friends and family. I dont want to add a psychotic woman with baggage.
I was divorced after 30 yrs of marriage and felt lost so I moved to Spain and started a new life I now have great friends a new partner and it’s all good I play tennis ,Padel and we have gents lunch once a month and curry night once a month ,but don’t sell yourself short don’t think the first woman you meet is all you’ll find ,hold your head high and be strong ,look good and be healthy friends .
Thanks for sharing!
How long did it take you to make friends after moving to spain ? Im considering the same thing
58 divorced and finally have the relationship I should have had. But so true about the friends. It's a really hard truth. Thanks for sharing.
My pleasure! Thanks for watching!
That part about men being alone is so damn true! There is an epidemic of male loneliness in this country.
Absolutely true!
Thanks for the content John. Dealing with loosing your spouse in a loving marriage is a heavy loss. Helping guys understand how to be confident going forward is encouraging. Good stuff man.
Thank you very much!
Some really good points there, really good to hear, and great ideas, thanks
So true and on point as usual John. Your advice is so "needed😊🎉💯🙏".
Thank you!
Where is the link for the site you talked about @ the 4:50 mark? I am not seeing it and may not be caffeinated enough yet this morning.
Sorry, I just added it to the description.
You’re early this morning! Interesting… Thanks for yet another great video
Morning! Thanks for watching!
This is real life for sure. Experienced this after going through divorce in my mid forties. It was and is still difficult. Thanks for the video John.
Very welcome! Thanks for watching!
This is something that I will definitely try with a handful of friends. I'm starting to wear suits to the office and I'm kind of creating a trending with such friends. Regards from México!!
Go for it!
John, fascinating stuff!
Thank you!
Love your channel. I find the content to be really helpful and compassionately delivered. What's the watch on your wrist, by the way? It looks great, but I could never seem to pause the video at the right spot to get a good enough view of it.
Thank you! It’s a Tudor Black Bay GMT.
Pass along to your buddy: he’s not alone. My wife died June of last year. I retire in 3 weeks at 52, after a 33 year career. I now have an 18 year old stepdaughter in college who lost her mom, and now we’re both trying to adjust. The retirement plan from this time last year is out the window.
Thanks David, I did pass along.
Great content. The one thing the scale does not take into account is the crazy/stable score.😂
Haha!
Thanks John.
I'm Proud and very Happy to have subscribed to your channel
Appreciate you!
I lost the last of my guy friends years ago. I have literally zero that are not "online only", and them I've never met in real life. I don't have a "day job", and don't really have any reason to go anywhere. Heck, with my wife working 12-13 hour days I rarely even see her. My closest friend is 7 and still, blessedly, thinks I'm the best dad in the world.
I’ve been married for almost 30 years, and besides my wife I’m not sure I have a true male friend. I have tons of dudes that I know and talk to about things we’re passionate about. But the one friend you call when it’s 3am and it all hits the fan, I feel like it’s much more rare than the female counterpart.
Very true! Thanks Dave!
Good topic. When you’re hit with a divorce, you feel deflated and usually you will need to redefine yourself and your social life. This video does a good job of providing a man’s independent perspective on your value as newly single man. Always enjoy your videos.
Thank you very much!
Very telling video. I broke up with my fiance in 2014. Since then I've dated 2 women. Neither one did i go "all the way" with. From 2014 - '21 i was a caregiver for my parents. Extremely little chance to go out find men to hang out with. Actually it was about 3-4 dudes. '21 I moved to WA State. At that point in time, I had 2 really close male friends and a 3rd that was my best friend growing up. One that I had known since 2001. He ghosted me. Tried to find out what happened. Have not heard a peep. So, now I only have 2 friends that I can count on and one or two more in ID that are good friends and they are 575 miles away. Best friend, who lives in WA, is 3 hours away still. I know practically no one outside of work, that I just started as the job that brought me here canned me after 3 mos. So, for all intensive purposes, outside of my participation in The American Legion, I have zip.... other than my cat.
Awesome video, John. I got a .01% on that scale. 🤣 I am printing it out for my wife.
Haha!
Same! (.043%). 😂 Will be sharing the results with my wife. haha.
You Make a Good point I always seek improvement self-care and looksmaxing learning from you and so Many other Good people
Thank you!
Getting out of the house is crucial. You won't meet new people by hibernation...
Very true!
Thanks for this! I never knew I was in the 0.30%! At 60 and single, confidence can be a struggle in the dating scene, especially when your standards are high. You gave me confidence today.
As for the "pretend" friends, who were only your friends because of their wife's approval, they need to seriously think about who they married, and is their marriage healthy for them or not.
Thanks for watching!
It’s better to have a few friends 1 foot wide and 1 mile deep, than many friends 1 mile wide and 1 foot deep.
DELUSION SCORE 😂😂😂😂😂
Haha!
Age 26 they died. Married. Kids. Mortgages. Now I see then maybe once a year
Yessss the delusion calculator!!
This is a hard truth.
Absolutely! Thanks for watching!
Friends come and go for a multitude of reasons.
Hard times reveal true friends and you find out who is a friend and who is just there for the laughs.
Well said!
Hi John great video have you heard of a man called Jack Canfield his book the success principles is excellent I can really recommend it .
Take care. Christopher Barker
I have not heard of that one. Thank you!
Where is the calculator link? Thanks in advance!
Oops! Just added it to the description.
After my 20 year marriage, then divorce, I was terrified to date, thought I was over the hill… until I realized I was a kid in the damn candy store! 😂 🍭 Gents, there is absolutely nothing to fear in this regard. My recently divorced buddy is having the time of his life! 53 years young.
It’s true!
OK but the video didn't answer the question about how to deal with losing friends. I lost a friend recently, suppose I wanted some comfort or ideas... and then this video just talks about dating and "being in the 1%" or whatev.
@CourtneyRyan - 4:48 of the video
Perhaps you could do a video about losing friends after you level up? Thanks!
Ooooh.. good one!
I have what I call (acquaintances) but I have one true friend, and we meet every Wednesday for wings and drinks. The others, could care less!
No very few friends, no family nearby.
Divorce is evident .. she's a Christian, I am not and don't plan to be. We're coming up on 28yrs married. She says she is just waiting to die because she has no purpose anymore 😢
The "going out alone" video was more helpful in making new friends than this one. Just saying... but Im sure Ill find another one i can use.
Is that point 0.3 percent or 30%
0.3
Oh, by the way I am a .0045% man.
I would add being on the dating market is not a goal. Explore your interests your desires your dreams don’t think having a woman is the end all of your existence
Well said!
Tell your friend to read the rational male by Rollo Tomassi or the unplugged alpha by rich cooper. He’ll thank you greatly
.7 % for me.. Should I buy a shirt and advertise? lol
All of our couple friends are my husbands friends
No partner/wife, no children, no real friends I can talk to, no siblings. Life can suck. What is the way out? I do not know. What I do know are the sleepless nights as my mind races about loneliness and how lonely I am.
Exactly the same here.
Hang in there team. You got this
@@declanbrady9765
You're a good person. 👍
Dude! 28 years married (32 years in total). Felt destroyed when she wanted to divorce. Now couldn’t be happier and also began to date again (easier than I thought it would be). Life is good!
Good man!
How old are ya? My wants a divorce but her religious beliefs say she can't be the one to initiate it. I'm not sure what to do 😢
@@benlorenzo1966 Hi, well in my mid-fifties. At the beginning is hard. Took therapy that was very helpful. Also read about philosophy. The truth is that if she is thinking about that sooner or later she will do it. Get ready and keep going.
Let her go my friend, she has already checked out.
Move on and stay positive!
Well John, bullseye. I thought you were talking about me. Married for 33 years, wife passed away 7 months ago, kids have flown the coop, and I'm just sitting here. You're also right about older men having the buying power. I earn 100K+ (in my second career after I aged out of my first career) but I'm going to retire for good very soon. Calculator puts me at less than 1 percent.
Good man! Thanks for sharing!
Exclude obese…..oof! 😅
I'll be your friend John.
Seriously, at 50 i have maybe 2-3 real friends that I could count on to help me 'bury the body' (metaphorically). Any one else is an acquaintance - period.
Life happens, and you move through stages. As an avowed bachelor I have seen many 'friends' come-and-go as they get married and have kids. Shit happens, you move on.
In reality those weren’t your friends they were your wifes friends husbands. And chances are they didn’t really care one way or the other about you
Fun calculator. Wish they would separate more on the race since we are not only white, black or Asian.
Why was the "full head of hair" relevant?
Good grief! Because he’s in his mid-50s and it is relevant.
@@40OverFashion Explain to me how it is relevant to your point?
Because most men in their mid to late 50s do not have a full head of hair. It’s also relevant to his physical description of being a good looking guy. Period. I will not continue to go back-and-forth with you on this.
“Full head of hair” is very often cited by women as a desirable trait in an eligible man.
@@40OverFashion don’t worry you won’t have to, 5 year subscriber unsubscribing.
Modern people and modern life is shyte. Scoring and judging people by a number 1-10, WTF is that all about? How tall they all, how much they earn, how much hair they have, WTF have we become, so judgemental. I'd rather be a sigma lone wolf than put up with all that shyte out there.
Your channel isnt what it use to be
True. We grow, experiment and try new things.
Typically I enjoy your content. This however was rubbish. This was more about what to do with your existing friends to support each other, nothing about gaining new friends or putting yourself out there to create new friendships etc.
Can’t win them all I guess. Thanks for the feedback. I’ll keep trying.