Narcissism and Leadership - Part 1
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- Опубликовано: 21 сен 2024
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We live at a time when organizations welcome narcissists as their leader, but then experience tremendous damage as a result. Why are Narcissists attracted positions of leaderships? Why do organizations welcome Narcissists as their leaders? Tim will provide answers to these important questions.
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I have worked in the nonprofit sector for more than two decades. EVERY nonprofit CEO I have worked with directly has had narcissistic behaviors. Not all have been grandiose, but all have been manipulative - gaslighting, triangulating, blame-shifting - confusion and awfulness. Many people see them for who they are, but we are at-will employees - we need to do what we are told so we can pay the rent, buy food, keep our health insurance. At-will employment in the US is inherently an emotionally abusive system. Here's the kicker - seven years ago I got married - to a nonprofit CEO. I could not fully discern these patterns until they were in my house. I am now divorced.
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They're everywhere. In the family, in the workplace, in social circles.
1:25 according to one pundit
U aren't lying🥺
A narcissist is often seen as a person who is strong, intelligent, and capable of making hardline decisions that will benefit the company. But in reality, they often make decisions to fuel their own ego or retaliation towards others. They are excellent at portraying their decisions as beneficial for the company, but very rarely can they even describe in detail how their decisions will benefit the company beyond broad and generic talking points. Anyone who challenges them are often demoted or terminated.
It's so naive to see haughtiness and pride as "strength".
They're not intelligent. It's their false bravado that makes people think they're intelligent. They use other people and ride their coat tails and take credit.
Yes
And yet.... most people have no idea why they are living the way that they do, play fast and loose with their supposed goals and dreams, and will passively accept someone else's decision making even if they don't like it because they don't want to be responsible for making the decisions themselves. We are all connected, all part of an ecosystem.
Very true the the Narcissist lacks self-love because they have been damaged in childhood and they put up walls to not allow themselves to be vulnerable. The Righteous Humble Narcissist - great description especially if they are religious.
Oh people try to empathize with them, but it isn't possible without being destroyed
Empathy from a distance, perhaps.
Save the world or save yourself.
They will manipulate your empathy and bleed you dry.
@@TinaDoughertyyes
wow I work in a place with these toxic patterns. The inner circle becomes a protective layer for the narcissist to become avoid becoming accountable. My work place is getting more and more entrenched in this fear and scarcity feeling
Save yourself.
Get out while you still can. I am starting to understand that we all have a tribe where we truly belong and don’t have to be where we are not honored and loved.
It took 8 years for me to even hear the term codependency
Learning only now , at age 70, how often this has played out in so many relationships my entire life. My childhood still haunts.
I hope it’s not too late to untangle some of my self destructive behaviors
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Never too late!
Godspeed!!!
Never too late! Godspeed,!.
Never too late!
Godspeed!!!
I have to believe that it's never too late to grow and learn how better to love and honor ourselves and love and honor everyone around us. Never to late to learn and practise healthy boundaries and ways to keep ourselves more sane, balanced and connected to what is real. And when I look around me I notice that the healthy, grounded people are often quietly in the background doing the meaningful work without calling attention to themselves and they make an impact. Just being a decent person makes an impact in more ways then we can know. And all the flashy, noisy, hyper-busy narcissistic "leaders" are running around adding to the chaos, confusion and dysfunction. Keep on keeping on. Much love to you Diane.
One of my parents has been commiting adultery with an employee in the family business. None of my siblings care and one of my best friends thinks it doesn’t matter. One parent (not the one commiting adultery) is constantly trying to get me to come work in the business as is my entire extended family. When I tell the parent why they dismiss what I’m saying, minimize or change the subject. I have not told people except a couple close friends about the adultery. I’m probably going to miss out on inheritance and it’s weird that people don’t know what is really going. I want to tell people but part of me thinks no one will care like my one friend who is actually somewhat related. It just seems like the people that I tell either don’t know what to say or think it doesn’t matter. It’s really strange because to me it’s so obviously wrong.
I am so sorry for you. May the peace of Jesus Christ garrison your heart and may He deliver you to much better circumstances.
I say this little miracle prayer whenever I loose something or need guidance and divine intervention, Jesus Lost Jesus Found 🙏 and it works everytime. I will light a candle for you and pray you love yourself enough to do what's right for you 🕯🙏
People don't want to know, and will furiously reject the truth. Trapped in a similarly intolerable deceit, I eventually accepted my purpose as an instrument of divine change. I didn't want to explode, but something had to. I lit the fuse and walked away. The chain reaction was intense, and the destruction complete. I lost everything, but found my freedom and self-respect. I never ask whether it was right, or worth the cost. It was inevitable.
Fear or intentional blindness
@@CrankyHermit🎉🎉🎉🎉❤❤❤❤💯💯💯💯
Successful narcissists won't change, because they are well adopted and enabled in our societies.
This video doesn’t even begin to address how a person who accidentally got mixed up with a narcissist safely navigates life with a narcissist when you must set healthy boundaries for yourself and others but you are unable to get this person out of your life completely because you have kids together or they are your boss. This video actually is so focused on the narcissist that a narcissist would enjoy this video. Can you talk about a narcissist in terms of how to heal and stay safe from a narcissist you can’t get away from completely? The problem is the narcissist is unlikely to change but if I want to grow and change everything about me becomes personally offensive to the narcissist and this can be very dangerous territory emotionally physically and relationally which is a big reason people struggle to get out of relationships with narcissists in the first place. Not to mention the constant rewounding while you’re still recovering and recalibrating from your last abusive encounter with the narcissist
He gets complex trauma so well, how is it he is so off the mark with this?
@@lovelyella For real! That’s exactly how I felt. 😭😢🤷♀️
@@lovelyella if you haven’t been tormented by a narcissist you just don’t get it. It’s just an idea. I have had the hardest time finding therapists for my children who won’t let their father manipulate them into gaslighting and triangulating my kids into being the problem. Narcissists use therapists and court rooms as tools in their abuse. It’s so sad that people who want to do good unknowingly cause more damage than good if they don’t take seriously how dangerous a narcissist can be. It’s o sad and dangerous to be in a world with a narcissist. If you don’t have the Lord you could absolutely be crushed and never get up again. I’m grateful for Yeshua to keep me and my children alive!
Narc and leadership vid. Tim Fletcher thank you for validating me and also talking in a way I can understand. You described the toxic office atmosphere of almost every company in America to a tee.
Can confirm american workplaces are toxic.
Because narc deeply feel terrible about what they do and by becoming a leader in church, it's like they feel better about themselves and can keep lying about who amd what they are.
Speak
Leadership attracts narcs because they can be nasty and no onecan protest as they are the devouring boss
Like Bruce the Shark in "Finding Nemo."
...and protected by the Board of Directors becase some of them are narcissists and the brutal boss ia perceived as "effective". May God save America.
Explains the behaviour of previous Property Manager.
They think of you like their property like owning you..I understand how this person explains on a don't scare people place but no excuses these people are reprobate and infested with a legion of demons
Please, dr Fletcher, can you make a video about vulnerable narcissists. They can be seen as emphatic people, but they struggle the same problems like grandiose one. Thank you for all the efforts you put in this videos 🙏💗
Little shaman channel on RUclips
So many light bulbs went on in my head. I also learned my part that internally heal so that im a narc-repellent
Thank you for all that you do. You are greatly appreciated. May He bless you mightily in Jesus name
I found you, brother TF, and was intrigued and then astonished with your understanding so well what it’s been like. I have tried to find a trauma therapist but haven’t been able to, and I couldn’t afford one anyway. I’ve tried on my own to overcome all the broken parts of my psyche but it was too overwhelming. I finally had to pray and give it to God because I can’t carry the weight of it all myself. I know I was led to you and I will keep following you because it feels like a tender mercy just to know that there is a knowledgeable, compassionate and spiritual man who can “name it” for us.I hope you can help us learn how to heal from this. Thank you again.
Those that desire power are dangerous
Only a couple minutes in but can identify with having narcissism from long term use of social media n selfie taking..I've virtually ceased this activity in the last year and can't begin to describe how much I've grown since then, in self awareness and acceptance ❤
Tim, thank you for all your videos you’ve helped me more than any therapist in my life. Would you ever make a video on schizoid personality? I suffer with this I wish I could understand myself and why I am this way and if there’s a way out
hello sir your knowledge is very precious and it help me to be a beeter and stronger person .keep continuing spreding the knowledge
Just remember not all leaders are narcissists. Some are genuinely doing their best for others and taking care of others. As a leader you are responsible for every one of your “followers” needs. As a restaurant owner I am responsible for the needs of employees, customers, other owners, community members, and the company surviving. It’s my cross to bear
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Narcissism is now a label people throw at absolutely anybody that offends them. Many even in the psychological field will apply this to any ambitious individual who happens to not align with their political bias. But ambition in and of itself isn't evil. Neither is it evil for someone to have different values than you do. We must also notice that some people will be more ambitious precisely because they are more intelligent and talented and wouldn't be content with run of the mill objectives. Popular envy can often blind the less talented to such an extent that they will lob the title "narc" at some figure, no longer see a human there, and feel an addictive self-satisfaction in identifying someone they imagine deserves hatred.
Leadership attracts narcissistic individuals because it provides them with many privileges and fewer responsibilities and restrictions.
On point, as always. It ties some many angles of my life experience together seamlessly.
To get the control..cut off supplies from the feede a narcissist needs ti stay alive .no matter the form ir package you see,feel,tiuch and know it...Gain your confidence back by looking the narcissist boldly and never feed the supplies needed the shift and death of the attributes will come naturally for your TOTAL FREEDOM AND CONTROL.
Very powerful
So good, thank you!
Yes, sooo good!
Thank you!
Excellent.
Thank you. Helpful. Looking forward to part two.
Most excellent! Thank you!!!
Complex trauma can also lead to high empathy.
Very helpful and informative 👍 thank you for sharing
This constant comparison to geopolitics is unfortunate. If you looked into it more you’d find a lot more narcissism coming from so many directions. That’s why there was no “ bread on the shelves” . Good info on people’s personal lives though
Your teachings are the most helpful on RUclips. Thank you for all you do.🥹🫶🏻
Do you think we follow those narcissistic leaders because of our own sense of powerlessness and maybe even hopelessness?
Are we so damaged we need a father figure to tell us what to believe?
Yes!!!
Yes we can help wounded people but if they don't want help if they refuse to even listen to the words that they need help it comes from childhood then what do you do. You have to walk away.
Totally
Plenty are born narcs
Hi, I'm listening a bit late, important topic to visit and revisit toxic leadership and pple are unable to see the narcissism within leadership, Americans label too much, it's a set of traits, pattern, often criminal records because narcissistic traits exist thru out the human story.
The narcissism are pple that are so intense about wounds, scars, & enabling mental unwellness.
Great talk sir, I have my ✍️📝 taking notes. I'm happy narcissism recovery curriculum channels are here I think for seven plus years
This makes me think I could be a vulnerable narcissit like one of my parents. I thought before I have CPTSD. What are the clear differences?
Do you have actual empathy?
Sounds like Netsnyahu and the UN😮
And AA sponsors
I think I have viewed all your content on RUclips. I'm very curious if schadenfreude or machiavelianism ever pops up in practice if so, I would love to hear you talk on it.
A video on the dark triad would be great.
HG Tudor is much more qualified regarding NPD than Elinor Greenberg. Narcs don’t have shame..
The little shaman is the best channel on you tube regarding the subject.
Narcs do have shame...it's what they want to hide and avoid at all costs. What they don't have is guilt and accountability.
This is sympathetic to narcissism?! I have CPTSD due to narcisstic abuse…
Starting with a quote to gaslight that narcissism doesn’t exist? This is very disappointing and perhaps part of the problem.
Aww they blew up a country? (They have a wounded inner child that we need to heal?!)
Nooooo @TimFletcher I always loved you, this is a betrayal…
Christian religion created make people constantly ashamed of their sins then isn’t that creating narcissistic people then?
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Hard work can defeat narcissists.
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Interesting. You're a narcissist if you're a predator (overt) and you're a narcissist if you are a victim (covert). How convenient. Everyone is a narcissist. Doesn't everyone have trauma? Doesn't everyone try to meet their needs by fitting in (socialization)? Does that mean everyone is mentally ill and therefore a candidate for therapy? How convenient for therapists. 🤨🤔😉
Narcissists are probably those who came up with religion. They created god to their image.
No...Narcs abandoned true and good religion to create their own religion which makes THEM into a "god". They want undeserved praise, glory and worship. They do not stand fast in truth. Lies build their temporary empires.
@@QuiDocetDiscit Well, isn't god a narcissist? Every character trait in our gods somehow match perfectly with narcissism and if you didn't know narcissism is an emotional disease that results from insecurity. The question then is do gods feel insecure to begin? How come both ask for blind faith in opacity, like ALL charlatans, and both engage in violence against anyone not submitting to them? Again, why would a sane god promote blind faith in opaque and violent authority, and limit us to hope in ignorance???
The true God...is the personification love...the complete opposite of Narcissism. He does NOT need our approval and validation. We came into existence by His love. We give Him glory, honour, praise and thanks because He is worthy and return His love because He is a good Father. If you search for Him, He will let Himself be found by you...then you will understand what I'm saying.
Also, the Bible says only a fool believes everything he is told. It encourages faith based on accurate knowledge not blind credulity. You MUST know WHY you believe something....not just be a gullible, naive wishful thinker.
The Bible also says that Satan is the "god" of this world for a short while. Satan is the personification of Narcissism.
@@QuiDocetDiscit Wait...aren't our gods constantly asking us validate the scriptures, else the wrath of god will be dire? How is coming to existence without our consent an act of love? I did not consent and I know many who currently want to end their lives, including innocent children. How can a 'good' father sit calmly and watch hundreds of children die of starvation everyday? How's that actually no glofication and normalization of narcissistic indifference and neglect?
@@QuiDocetDiscit Also, why would I want to find someone who's intent on hiding like trickster magicians do? People are in atrocity right now and you want me to engage in hide-and-seek somehow? Or are you somehow too desensitized by all the subtle violence in the scriptures to even see how harmful and betraying that kind of mindset is? Did you know that none of these gods even cared enough to ban slavery at a time when a third of the population was enslaved in many places, or are you also intent on casting a blind eye on it too? Finally, how is it even a good idea for anyone to promote hope in opacity and ignorance if it's not to simply pacify the oppressed poor for the benefit of those in power who also happen to had nothing to say against slavery?
Thank you for all of your hard work on these materials. It helps a lot 🥹