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I regained my vision after a period of mourning, after seven months of trauma therapy I finally started crying and mourning, this lasted for more than a week, from early morning until late at night, I cried continuously, I cried for everything that had been done to me and for all that I had been deprived of. After that week I regained my sight, everything is more colorful now, with much more contrast, and incredible sharpness, it feels as if I have been living in a world with a 420p resolution and suddenly transitioned to 16K. It still amazes me regularly, giving me goosebumps and bringing a tear to my eye.
@@maureenczoch9129 I did emdr, cognitive therapy, music therapy, nlp, Zen, a lot of reading, Richard Crannon, Pete Walker, Gabor Maté, exposure therapy, hypnotics, learning what i'm feeling and i know for sure that i have forget some more.... I've learned to mourn and cry with the help of RUclips, looking at clips of people who were lovingly welcomed after being away from home for a long time, just sit down, look at the clips, think about what you have missed and start crying :) ...... All help a bit....
@@maureenczoch9129 I’ve not had EMDR therapy. In fact, I’ve hardly had any trauma-centered therapy whatsoever. And yet I’ve also recovered my eyesight. I attribute it to grieving-crying, compassion of my younger self, and angering. Recovering and exhuming my emotions. I attribute my success to breaking from my family.
I’ve grown up in a narcissistic household. I’m still healing from the traumas of being the scapegoat in my family. I have most of the health issues that you have mentioned, from being sensitive to lights to constant migraines. I’ve found meditation helps with the migraines. All my love to those who have had the same experiences like mine. You are all warriors! 💛
❤ I'm also the family scapegoat. I'm in so much pain & feeling so lonely and confused all the time. But I have come a very long way in understanding my pain....
Yes! Yes, it's taken many, many years to realize it's not me, it's them. Although even today, when my dad looks at me with daggers in his eyes, I still retreat to a little child for a while before I can regulate myself again. 💐
This makes me so sad to connect the dots here from my childhood. I’ve learned more about myself from this channel in a few months than I’ve learned over the last 20 years. I can never repay you but I am forever grateful. Thank you.
@@TheRandomINFJ thank you so much for sharing your experiences and thoughts. You are helping me more than you know. Praying for your continued healing and blessings.🙏
Hi Tim, this is a small amount in acknowledgement of the help you have given me in my recovery. Thank you so very much! Blessings and love to you, Louisa
As a child, my mother was on the run for her life, alone, and I sometimes think she never stopped "running for her life" even when she grew up, married, and had children. She suffered horribly from an UNEXPLAINED EYE ISSUE. Even an eye specialist who was a family friend couldn't help her. When a person's eyes bother them, it is almost impossible to enjoy life (think how you feel when something is in your eye). Adding to this malnutrition during developmental years (read: improper development of skeletal protection), and hypersensitivity, it seems miraculous that she was able to live a productive (if painful) life until the age of almost 90. She truly was a monument to the human ability to persevere under harsh conditions.
I'm 49 years old but feel stuck in what I call a childhood survival persona, and my true self is frozen in 1981-85 the little boy hiding in the corner of a field from my psycho mom. I've made friends who run away from home, but I chose to stay in turn inward hide my authentic self and create a fake persona to stay alive. Tim is amazing he seems to articulate my inner being or my inner true authentic self and seems to articulate actions and choices I made 40+ years ago to stay alive
I have "waited" for this video for 35 years! When I was 11 years old, a traumatic event/phase happened in my family and I suddenly got worse eyesight and prescription glasses. My brother who suffered the same event over the last years has nearly lost the eyesight on one side due to high pressure on the main nerve and/or retina. As a very intuitive person already at a young age I got involved with the Bates method for improving eyesight which his generally discarded as quackery. I was able to improve my eyesight following his method which by the way works on improving saccadian movements, conscious focus, and relaxation via the so-called palming technique. One of the most important details that I found out observing myself is that even when we are looking we might be looking only superficially (peripheral/unfocused) to just get enough input for handling basic things in the outside world,without being really connected. This is a trauma state where we are actually "looking" at trauma-related images from the past, replaying events. It usually includes a lot of strain and tension in the upper facial muscles. Another even worse way of looking without looking is when there isn't even an imaginary image where we are focusing on and we withdraw completely into a painful or sad feeling state which reflects the complete disconnect from the world outside. When we do that, the whole visual apparatus is severely impaired due to lack of movement, lack of tear liquid and overall strain. Using the Bates method is a fantastic way of reconnecting with the world using our consciousness and at the same time improving our eyesight. Bates was a great intuitive healer who came up with some physiological explanations that partially have been proven wrong by the scientific community. But his method has been proven very very beneficial in my life. Now, after seeing this I finally understand that curing/improving our eyesight goes along with trauma healing. For everyone who is interested, read the old Journals of the Bates magazine that have been republished by Thomas Quackenbush. There you find many treatment success stories from a hundred years ago. The stories stand out as all those people described were very miserable and there the trauma link becomes clear.
@@poetaenlaluna I won't give medical advice here and every case is different. Personally I always act under the premise that with whatever I have, that healing is possible. If there is only 0,1% chance, I will be the one who takes it. If I remember correctly, Bates had success stories with glaucoma as well. They are documented in the book "Better Eyesight: The Complete Magazines of William H. Bates".
I know that I used to relax my vision, making it blurry so I didn't have to see. The blurriness made it seem like my reality was further away and I found safety in it. I also didn't want to see, to see others, to see anything that was happening in my life. This intentional relaxing became the normal state and I can no longer see properly and need glasses. My ANS also has trouble regulating my pupil size, making me get blinded by the lights at night. Great video, I just found your channel and its been extremely informative. I'm only beginning to realise just how much my trauma atfected me.
When I’d dissociate as a child, I constantly would try to look inward at myself and unfocus my vision so I could escape the situation. Now, I’m getting my eyes checked due to not being able to see details as perfectly as I used to. Whether it’s related or not, I still have to keep grounding myself out of the mode to dissociate and hide
I went squint at around age 3, the same age at which my father started sexually abusing me. One night my mother confronted my father in the dark in the lounge, there was so much animosity, anger between them, and I was tiny, he had his hand around my wrist. She threatened him "I'm calling child welfare, he said to me, 'tell your mother she is a bithc. I was floating up against the ceiling, oddest feeling ever, I was beyond scared, I had to leave my body. She never removed me, it went on for years. I am so angry. I had to have an eye operation at 3, more trauma, so much more trauma. There should be a parenting licence and test & school. Yet we licence our damn cars. This world is mad & f*cked. So much ugliness. I am so very angry.
You didn’t deserve that I hope you find your way to transmute your anger and trauma. Anger is our most loving emotion it tells us when we are being hurt, and there is an injustice. ❤
I have lost my mother as three month old infant. Later years i read her note before she took her own life. She had Bipolar plus was abused as she carried me in her womb. Her diary said that i was frequently looking up to her and smiling at her. All of your videos are wonderful tool for recovery but i had tears coming up, as i listened to the part of child's need for connection. Such a great tool to know how to read, know and truly make connections to the safe people. Words can deceive or conceal hidden motif and emotions but what we see in the eyes reveal so much about the inner state of the individual. I think i always knew about this but never was consciously aware. Great help and comfort. Thank you so very much.
If someone can relate, i refer to their eyes as trauma eyes. You can actually see the pain and fear in people's eyes when they have complex trauma. I never knew i had this instinct until i finally found out about CPTSD and attachment theory. My subconscious knew, and eventually i was always proven right. Meanwhile as my body was screaming the red flags my conscious logical mind didn't know what i was dealing with yet.
One thing that was not mentioned is sunglasses... and mobile phones. If parents are wearing sunglasses and the child who needs to see their eyes can't, that is the same as not paying attention or being available - even if the parent is looking directly at the child. As for mobile phones, we are so easily distracted by them, that we may feel we are talking or interacting with others - children esp. - but we are not giving them the eye contact required.
Curiosity made me click on this one - I assumed Tim was going to talk about shortsightedNess. But this explains SO much. Im in acute PTSD after an event last year and noticed that I do hate driving at night lately, the headlights are so intense it's distressing. I also have an extremely keen sense of smell like a bloodhound and noise sensitivity. Never imagined these would be linked to my mental health. Thank you for another validating talk, Tim
I can't believe how much of this applied to me, both from the pain my eyes and head have i've felt recently to the childhood hurt from not having your parents be there when you needed them.
I have always had trouble with eye contact. Its very uncomfortable for me. Very. The more disregulated/overstimulated I am, the less I can even look towards people, let alone their eyes.
I struggle with eye contact, always have. It just feels far too invasive. Makes me feel super exposed when people make eye contact. (I dont think it's Aspergers in my case because I don't fit the other symptoms entirely... although some of my behaviours are admittedly adjacent.)
@nevadatan7323 it's level 1 autism, mixed with cPTSD for me. Lol... I laugh because I'm so used to not being able to do eye contact, but I do wonder how much more of it I could've been able to handle, without the cPTSD.
Trying to heal and learn to have eye contact with people has been one of the most challenging experiences for me. But it is possible and any growth is so rewarding. Thank you for your videos.
Cuz I’m autistic as well as healing from trauma… I want to say, get checked to make sure eye contact is natural for your neurotype, ok? Cuz if you’re actually autistic, then training yourself to give eye contact is actually an unhealthy exercise, because it’s a mask. If this doesn’t apply to you at all, please disregard my comment. Much love 💗
I've had a corrective lenses restriction on my California driver's license since i first received it at the age of 15. At the age of 47 I suffered extreme emotional traumatic injury and betrayal. When i had to renew my drivers license at the age of 49 i didn't have my prescription glasses because i was broke and nearly homeless. I hadn't had them in 2 years. I was very nervous that i would be denied my drivers license because i thought i would fail the eye exam. But for whatever reason when i took the eye exam at DMV I passed easily. I read the bottom line with both eyes and individually without squinting. I was shocked. I dont know what to attribute the change in my vision to but i can tell you that there is absolutely truth to this lesson. Thank you sir. Very interesting.
I was fortunate to also receive additional Brainspotting therapy during EMDR. Unbelievable what this does to your system. Trauma fades and memories do nothing. No more flash backs and anxiety. Thank you for this video Tim.
@InsideOut-v6w Oooo that sounds amazing, can you tell me about the Brainspotting and its an addition to EMDR? I finally just got started with a Complex Trauma therapist who does EMDR, I specifically wanted that, but your comment made me light up and I would love to hear about it ❤ Thank you and I am so happy that you are getting relief 😊
@@gldnsunrising7761 Hey, it's really promising. You can find info on the internet about brainspotting. You can absolutely trust it and you won't have any bad memories. Old images are positively overwritten. ❤️❤️❤️ No more fears and no more blockages. You start with a clean slate.
@@pibkaveronica7622 Well, the therapist said it would be months before she would be able to make any headway with me. So that was all I needed to hear. I got more and more uncomfortable with her for each visit. Apparently, I was not responding at all.
We always connect. We can connect with being disconnected. Or afraid , or not getting what we want. Frustrated , angry, still not geting contentment. Shutting down. Negotiate. Grieving. We get all of that in a glance. We can cope with that by negating. Have a negative experience. We can identify with any of these coping strategies. That is how our sense of separat self is built. The ego. And will all of this is happening.who we truly are is untouched and untouchable. Being .
@20:47 This is exactly what I saw in Jesus' eyes when I met Him in a dream. Pure, warm, boundaried, stable, affectionate love and total acceptance. This is what He is like. And just His gaze has healed me of so much trauma. He loves us. He likes us. It rly undoes me.
So to make sure mothers-to-be are able to heal, feel safe and feel safe again is the most important task for society to focus on for a good future with well-matured people. More important than anything.
I almost fell asleep/did fall asleep at the wheel multiple times after my husband died. I don't recall how long it lasted, but it was scary. I pulled over, took a short nap (30 minutes which I usually can't do), and then went on. I did get over this, but went early places when I was going through this.
The timing of this is insane. I am healthy and take care of myself well. However, my eyes have recently started to have issues. I had no idea it could be related to my trauma.
God bless you, sir. ❤I've been on this 2nd spiritual awakening journey picking up the pieces of my life in the aftermath of what my narcissistic mom created. I had to kill my old ego, and it shook the ground from under me, almost killing me. Now, I'm on a quest for knowledge to understand how and why I came to be. You have helped me a great deal through this process, and you are greatly appreciated 🙏 keep up the awesome work👏❤ thank you ❤
Second daughter of three, I’m the one who have been severely short sighted, bad skin, bad teeth. The two others haven’t had any of these issues. They also don’t believe me when I say that I’ve been treated differently (very poorly) than them.
I suggest reading "They F8ck You Up" by Oliver James. You already know how you were treated, I found this book informative and affirming, of how parents and families treat each person differently.
I believe you. I too am the scapegoat of my family. I was the oldest but birth order doesn’t matter when you are being scapegoated by parents so the siblings are taught how to treat you.
This was very 😂 lol eye opening. Seriously, I used to have headaches a lot, but I haven't since I don't have so much contact with people. I have a lot of difficulty with eye contact. Partly from being autistic, and partly from childhood trauma. This brought back a lot of bad memories that I needed to process, but never thought about until now. Thank you so much!
The dissotiated eyes are well pictured in the song Far Away Eyes by the Rolling Stones..."...and if you are down on your luck...find a girl with far away eyes"...predators teachings...
Yes! My mother had far away eyes. Many men saw her as an unattainable mystery...she was completely shut down. I always think of her when I listen to that song
Thank you Tim. This was very interesting. I thought it was going to focus on how trauma can damage one's eyesight. I've probably got complex trauma from childhood, but I always had very good eyesight. Then about 7 years ago I experienced something that was very traumatic for me. And my eyesight started deteriorating and have now become farsighted i wear glasses for reading. But, what you talked about here should be in EVERY parenting book because it is so important- and it's scary how clueless we actually are and the damage we cause without even knowing it.
I have CPTSD from childhood stress & just had cataracts removed because they got much worse after partner abuse in my fifties but as a child my eyesight deteriorated just as the abuse started to target my love of reading 🤦♀️
Omg this hits so deep. Especially to know I'm not the only one who experienced this. I used to have migranes so bad that id lose my vision. Which is called an Aura migraine and no one would believe me not even teachers at school. It would happen so randomly it didnt matter where I was ughh
@@thesincitymamaGod bless you 🙏🏾💗 I pray for healing amongst everyone in the comments. And I feel so safe sharing my experiences. I remember I would go to the school nurse and beg her not to call my step mom to let her know I had a migraine. On the bus ride home I would be so anxious to go home because I knew when I got there I would get in trouble for having a migraine 😭. So now as an adult I feel guilty when I'm sick it's so heartbreaking that other people had to experience this! I'm so grateful to have found this channel God bless 💕🙏🏾
This is really interesting thank you. I'm a scientist and years ago I did a research study on people who get migraine and found their brain responses to visual stimuli were quicker than those who don't get migraine. And then when they wore coloured lenses it slowed down. I never thought at the time about why their response time was faster, but trauma could be a huge factor in this
Absolutely fascinating. I am living with childhood trauma and ptsd from physical, sexual and emotional abuse. I have such a difficult time driving at night. All the lights feel like spotlights shining directly into my eyes. It never occurred to me that my eyes could be connected to hypervigilance.
it's not just the eyes though. the body is storing trauma in many different body parts which manifests later as disease if it's not released or healed.
The body doesn't store trauma. That's the brain. The body is the conduit for remembering trauma. That concept hasn't been fleshed out and people need to stop throwing it around so flippantly until it's better understood.
Tim, I’ve noticed in your videos lately that the gain on your microphone might be tuned a little high and it distorts your voice unpleasantly / perhaps tune it for a smoother sound? Thank you!!! I love your videos!
Thank you so much Tim. This is fascinating. I had recurring dreams as a child where I couldn't open my eyes - like the sunlight was too bright or I was still too sleepy to crack them open - I'm thinking now it must have had something to do with what I was experiencing in waking life. Far too much to process for a child. And it also makes me think about autistic folks (of whom I'm one) - chronic IBS and pain (thinking of my mum with fibromyalgia) and autoimmune conditions (myself with eczema flare ups whrn im emotionally distressed) - there's so many overlaps with what get labelled sensory processing issues, when I'm starting yo think are actually chronic stress issues resulting from a world which has no patience or space for folks who don't have the neurotype of the majority.
Fascinating! I have migraines and now IBS. My yoga teacher says, “As your breath goes, your mind goes,and as your mind goes, your breath goes.” I think I’ll try some sitting every day with closed or unfocused eyes and do some easy breathing. I think this will teach my body to feel safe.
I have had TMJ, migraines, and other issues. When, I first got the TMJ, my doctor didn’t know how it started at all! -I never put it together it started with my trauma. I figured it out, it was from stress but I have never had anyone tell me it’s from trauma! My migraines, I got them as a child and I still get them as an adult. I know it’s from stress. All this about the eyes,👀 is very interesting. Some people, I can’t look at them in their eyes! I look at the person who’s talking, I look at their face. I always hope they don’t notice, I think it’s because i don’t want that rejection, or for them to know how I feel. I thought it was just me. I never knew why. My mom can “look like she’s looking at your soul,” she suffered a lot of abuse as well. I never knew, it was a response to abuse. I still clutch up, at times, my jaw. At night when I am working late, trying to get things done, my eyes get funny. I think they might get dry, or really big. It could also be from the cold, I work at a grocery store. At night it can be stressful, and I work in the cooler. Not, in the milk box, but the outside cooler. Like staring into the fridge, and pulling everything forward in a straight line. -Which is called “facing.” If you’ve ever worked retail you know what I am saying. Anyway, if you do have a headache at work, I like to stand in the milk box, for a bit. Or just “face” the cooler. It makes my head feel better.
The opposite of A.C.E.s is P.A.C.E.s. What we do with this information for ourselves and others is the key. If words and actions can damage the soul, they certainly have the power to heal our's and another's soul. We can move forward connecting in healthy, kind and responsible ways.
A few times a day i take a minute to unclench every muscle around my eyes. There are SO MANY muscles around there! Soon, after seeking out and unclenching all those tiny eye muscles, waves of relief wash though my head.
I've had this intuition for a while now that part of the reason why my eyesight got so bad all of the sudden when I was young was because I stopped using them. I was constantly turning inward into my imagination to escape my outside reality, and I always wondered if that's why my vision faded.
I get blurry vision when i begin to feel stressed or PTSD is set off in certain circumstances. i can go from clear normal vision to totally blurry within a minute. what has made it a lot harder for me is no one seems to understand this and they keep telling me i am squinting and should get glasses. it makes it even worse for me and causes more stress and i panic if i have to try to read something around these people, one of these people is a person who has had a role in causing trauma and my eyes blur just being around them for too long. when i am alone i find i can relax enough to settle it down. i do a set of eye relaxation exercises most mornings which does help quite a lot. this is great information, at least it helps me know i am not imagining this problem and it does have some physiological truth to it. i would love to hear if this happens to others as it has stressed me a lot.
I dont mean to scare you but I would recommend seeing a neurologist. You could be having a real neurological reaction under stress. Does it happen when you get too hot? I have multiple sclerosis and stress effects my eyes. I cant be around stressful people because it effects my eyes! Something to consider! It took 8 years to get a diagnosis.
I noticed when young that after a gym workout my eye sight be crystal clear. As a result I have paid close attention to my eyesight and how it reacts for 30 years. Tim is on to something - also investigate the Bates method plus get a full head scan etc (to be sure). Yes stress reduces vision quality and learning to be less stress helps a lot. Good luck.
Absolutely clear and affirmative of how it goes and grows....to adulthood. I've experienced all of it-tight and tied in gut, diaphragm - breathing, eyes - always changing number of glasses and pain behind the eye balls also in sunlight, clenched jaws in sleep if I'm able to sleep.... lately I'm relating it to fascia issue and immunity, naturally if one's dissociated and hypervigilant, and related body dysfunctions. Essentially unregulation at many levels - perception, thinking, emotions, expressions, interactions, relationships, bodily.... Thankyou for this detailed research inputs.
I've always suspected this, particularly when I see a tiny child wearing thick glasses. In one case a little boy I knew who was quite a peppy kid. A few months later I saw him wearing very thick glasses, it was just after his father began drinking again and was kicked out of his job. It happened very publicly and I guess the shame of it all must have been traumatic - something he just couldn't bear to see.
A spiritual teaches spoke about this, that every wrinkle on our face, even our face shape is that way because of how we experienced life whether good or bad. The way we walk also.
Oh my goodness! When I began facing the trauma of an abusive marriage, my left eye has been giving me a lot of problems. Now I understand why. Thank-you so much for this podcast.
I'm so excited to find your channel. It's been a long time since I learned anything new about complex trauma. You have given me even more insights on myself and those I love (especially since idk that I've ever loved someone who wasn't noticeably dysfunctional or dysregulated)
It’s amazing how my weekly debilitating migraines, TMJ and anxiety resolved after moving across the country from my narcissistic mother and enabler father. After years of wearing night guards for TMJ pain, I no longer need to wear one.
Thank you for this thoughtful content. It really helps me unpack my congenital eye movement disorder (Duane's Retraction Syndrome) and how it adds another layer to these symptoms. Fascinating and healing.
Fascinating..my muscles and body always tense, tight , sore….…I love learning this stuff…yet I am a watcher, an observer, and emotionally healed so much… …able to not react…it’s interesting to see all this stuff in people and they have no awareness.. So many violent with their words and they have no clue it’s of violence because their so identity with what they say….if you point it out…They blow off or get defensive…if you set a boundary..they have no emotional maturity to respect it and get mad and act like a bratty 10 year old….trauma brain… We live in one crazy world where people are sleepers with their eyes wide open…judging, fighting, gossiping, reacting, defending, etc.. I don’t have anyone around me practicing this and they have no interest in it…..I am a Lone Ranger…lol… it has taken a lot of practice and healing..and understanding… most people aren’t present..they’re just rambling on and on…lol..reacting.. Love this stuff….now I know more about what has been going on with me…yet the other part is the more I learn than I learn how this has affected me and knowing my children were not with a present Mother….makes me sad…what my trauma brain imprinted in their brain…we are to be of love, security, safety, connection, kindness, connection heart to heart….
I figured this out on my own a couple of days ago and wrote it down in my journal - but Ive learned even more stuff from this👍 I know my vision will get better when Im better.
Thank you for sharing! Had my second ever last Monday night, very scary. Magnesium was an instant relief. Nevertheless I am a bit scared of them returning, as the body is currently opening up kinda every flood gate that were shut down for 55 years. Healing to you and all who read this 🙏
So true about the clench and withdraw. You named what I knew when I looked at a picture of me as an 8 year old little girl in a black and white photo. It struck me so odd at the posture. I have 2 grown children myself and I thought what a weird position. My arms are crossed over my chest and I have one leg lifted trying to protect my pelvic area. A year before this pic I was raped by a grown man
Do you have far away eyes? They are common in complex trauma more than ptsd or shell shock (eyes wide open or 1000 yards stared). Check old pictures and look for dreamy eyes in your face. I have seen them in pictures of my grandmother and myself and the Rolling Stones have a song "Far away eyes". That's how I realized she had a crappy childhood because she died when my father was 9 years old...too many pregnancies and the last delivery ended her life. Many women at that time chained one pregnancy after another and died young.
I was hoping you would talk about specific pathologies like nearsightedness. I read anecdotal evidence that many survivors of CPTSD are nearsighted. This might be a good video in the future.
I find that it affects my tummy and digestive system the most and my hair. My tummy stores fat because it thinks we are in danger. I gain weight once relationships become toxic and abuse before it gets bad. Once I leave I lose weight and my hair gets healthy. I will listen to my body in my next relationships
this is really interesting. I became short sighted when 5 and it got worse and worse so I had really thick glasses and refused to wear them a lot of the time. as adult I got contact lenses so avoided the great shame I felt with my glasses. I had a bad relationship with my mother who refused meaningful contact all my life.I don't believe I read peoples eyes correctly or feel they do mine.I have thought that the withdrawal in myself as a child and really throughout life was a withdrawal of energy to the eyes as well,causing the myopia. I am a very visually oriented person ,enjoy art and nature and loved the story of Beatrix Potter focusing on the little animals because of short sight. a lot to consider in this video. a lifelong feeling of being disconnected from others and feeling I can't see what is going on with others in their eyes ,or that they are being guarded and hidden to me. there is a great deal in this video ,in helping me to try and understand things.
Same. Became severely shortsighted which resulted in further punishment. The caretaker intervened to say how wonderful there is something (glasses) to help. That offered some relief. But as a child, I did internalise all the aggressive behavior. Wonderful to recieve laser surgery with a great reduction in prescription. Colours became vibrant, less exhaustion. Better depth perception. A new life. Another surgeon on a different matter mentioned how exhausting poor vision is. It was so unusual to receive this affirmation. Like being heard for the first time in my life at 58. My goodness!! How wonderful, finally!! It was a gift, albeit fleeting, as it was just during a dr appointment. And, I know people are absorbed in their own lives. I avoid eye contact unless a person is regulated and friendly
@@karenlewkowitz5858 thankyou for replying. so glad you got the laser surgery . I got cataract surgery at 72 so my vision was corrected then. amazing to not have to deal with lenses or glasses. poor vision had me internalising everything ,a retreat into the tiny world I could see clearly. I am sure being short sighted had a really profound affect and as you say exhausting. hope your eyes are good from now on.
Thankyou for this tutorial. It helps me understand , actual evidental , researched, reliable facts, to my conditions at this time. I really appreciate it.
Through extended stressful times I've been unable to enter the surf, especially in the white water, way too much light getting in and my eyes start rolling up!! This explains it perfectly Tim. And yep my eyes tear up terribly 😢😢😢
You perfectly described something I've suspected about myself, but never heard anyone else talking about. Even as I was watching this video when I finally paid attention to how my eyes feel - of course my entire face was tense, I was frowning without being angry and my eyes were so tense as if I was trying to slice the screen with some magic lasers, my lips pressed so tight as if they were under some attack. There was no reason to be so tense, I was watching this video in my free time during the weekend, yet it was so bad... because it's practically normal state for me, I often like this and don't even notice it (unless people ask me what's wrong). I have to take naps during the day though, because I feel exhausted often, which finally makes sense - being so tense all the time is exhausting. I also have dark circles around the eyes since kindergarten and often I was shamed for them - I was told that I must be lazy and don't move enough for proper bloodflow, that I must be disobedient and didn't sleep when I was told to, that I was a picky eater and didn't eat properly etc, etc... I didn't understand why people (my toxic family mostly) were so compelled to shame me for something that looked so permanent, like something genetical. I also was asked many times also why I was looking at people or things so tensely (people hate it). I also have deep seated eyes (I noticed that a lot of people with complex childhood trauma have deep seated eyes) and my jaw is far from perfect shape. I very dislike how I look because of all of it, it indeed makes me look much older than I really am, and those traits are conventionally very unattractive for a woman. I blamed bad genetics despite neither of my parents have exactly the same traits, but it's probably due to stress from the early on. My parents suffered a of of trauma too, but they are loud, outwardly turned, dysregulated people, while I happen to be quiet, inwardly turned, tense person who dissociates a lot ever since I remember myself. To put it short - miserly loves the company. I couldn't be just traumatized, I'm also ugly. I know this video didn't mean to call anyone ugly or focus on this aspect. I just have trouble with dealing with this. I feel ugly, I got called ugly, I don't like those traits. I can't fix my jaw with makeup, I have to live with this and it sucks.
My eyesight went bad about 10 years ago. It used to be perfect. I also have a few autoimmune disorders now because of trauma. Along with anxiety and depression and a couple other mental issues . I think most of my health issues are because of to trauma. I found your page today and I am very grateful. I also called a therapist for the first time in 4 years about an hour ago. Thank you for helping me and others put things into perspective. It's easy to lose focus.
I've honestly never heard this addressed before. I go to a trauma therapist and only seen him so far two months.... but I was loosing my vision for a good three years after I moved to a safe environment. No doctor could find the cause but they can see the symptoms from my eye exam. Some of my neurologist (I have epilepsy) thought I was faking it but the Department of the Blind wouldn't help me and just give me a white cane just because.... anyhow. I'm binge watching your videos. They are great.
![Felix "Unfair" | [Stray Kids : SKZ-PLAYER]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/Oswujxm2Ag0/mqdefault.jpg)
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I regained my vision after a period of mourning, after seven months of trauma therapy I finally started crying and mourning, this lasted for more than a week, from early morning until late at night, I cried continuously, I cried for everything that had been done to me and for all that I had been deprived of. After that week I regained my sight, everything is more colorful now, with much more contrast, and incredible sharpness, it feels as if I have been living in a world with a 420p resolution and suddenly transitioned to 16K. It still amazes me regularly, giving me goosebumps and bringing a tear to my eye.
Amen🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽
Did they use EMDR for your trauma therapy? What would you attribute your success in trauma therapy to?
@@maureenczoch9129 I did emdr, cognitive therapy, music therapy, nlp, Zen, a lot of reading, Richard Crannon, Pete Walker, Gabor Maté, exposure therapy, hypnotics, learning what i'm feeling and i know for sure that i have forget some more.... I've learned to mourn and cry with the help of RUclips, looking at clips of people who were lovingly welcomed after being away from home for a long time, just sit down, look at the clips, think about what you have missed and start crying :) ...... All help a bit....
@@maureenczoch9129 I’ve not had EMDR therapy. In fact, I’ve hardly had any trauma-centered therapy whatsoever. And yet I’ve also recovered my eyesight. I attribute it to grieving-crying, compassion of my younger self, and angering. Recovering and exhuming my emotions. I attribute my success to breaking from my family.
Love it
I’ve grown up in a narcissistic household. I’m still healing from the traumas of being the scapegoat in my family. I have most of the health issues that you have mentioned, from being sensitive to lights to constant migraines. I’ve found meditation helps with the migraines. All my love to those who have had the same experiences like mine. You are all warriors! 💛
❤ I'm also the family scapegoat. I'm in so much pain & feeling so lonely and confused all the time. But I have come a very long way in understanding my pain....
@@dorijoesame here. I send you so much love ❤.
@@Realalma ❤️🙏
@Realalma
Same. Sending love and healing to you as well ❤
Yes! Yes, it's taken many, many years to realize it's not me, it's them. Although even today, when my dad looks at me with daggers in his eyes, I still retreat to a little child for a while before I can regulate myself again. 💐
This makes me so sad to connect the dots here from my childhood. I’ve learned more about myself from this channel in a few months than I’ve learned over the last 20 years. I can never repay you but I am forever grateful. Thank you.
Valid! Mom beat me at least a few times a week since I was about 6-8 years old into adulthood. It caused a few sui©️id@l events, addiction, homelessness, daily gut issues, constant anxiety, becoming a young mother and TMJD and head/face/neck myofascial problems to name a few. The thing that began to heal me was walking the road of my life backwards and allowing myself to feel it all. It hurt my mental psyche so bad to do this I asked my doctor if I could die from a broken heart. I made sure to go into nature everyday and sit in the forest. Being one with nature and finding that connection again was deep. Nowadays, I feel mostly healthy ❤
Oh my...I can't imagine. I wish you so much ease and grace in your journey. 💐
@@TheRandomINFJ thank you so much for sharing your experiences and thoughts. You are helping me more than you know. Praying for your continued healing and blessings.🙏
I'm doing exactly that and it is incredibly painful but necessary.
This was me too...im now legally blind in my right eye..now my left is going
🫶
Hi Tim, this is a small amount in acknowledgement of the help you have given me in my recovery. Thank you so very much! Blessings and love to you, Louisa
One thing I learned over time is when someone insists on eye contact, it often is because they are bullies and bullies rely on intimidation.
As a child, my mother was on the run for her life, alone, and I sometimes think she never stopped "running for her life" even when she grew up, married, and had children. She suffered horribly from an UNEXPLAINED EYE ISSUE. Even an eye specialist who was a family friend couldn't help her. When a person's eyes bother them, it is almost impossible to enjoy life (think how you feel when something is in your eye). Adding to this malnutrition during developmental years (read: improper development of skeletal protection), and hypersensitivity, it seems miraculous that she was able to live a productive (if painful) life until the age of almost 90. She truly was a monument to the human ability to persevere under harsh conditions.
I'm 49 years old but feel stuck in what I call a childhood survival persona, and my true self is frozen in 1981-85 the little boy hiding in the corner of a field from my psycho mom. I've made friends who run away from home, but I chose to stay in turn inward hide my authentic self and create a fake persona to stay alive. Tim is amazing he seems to articulate my inner being or my inner true authentic self and seems to articulate actions and choices I made 40+ years ago to stay alive
I have "waited" for this video for 35 years! When I was 11 years old, a traumatic event/phase happened in my family and I suddenly got worse eyesight and prescription glasses. My brother who suffered the same event over the last years has nearly lost the eyesight on one side due to high pressure on the main nerve and/or retina. As a very intuitive person already at a young age I got involved with the Bates method for improving eyesight which his generally discarded as quackery. I was able to improve my eyesight following his method which by the way works on improving saccadian movements, conscious focus, and relaxation via the so-called palming technique. One of the most important details that I found out observing myself is that even when we are looking we might be looking only superficially (peripheral/unfocused) to just get enough input for handling basic things in the outside world,without being really connected. This is a trauma state where we are actually "looking" at trauma-related images from the past, replaying events. It usually includes a lot of strain and tension in the upper facial muscles. Another even worse way of looking without looking is when there isn't even an imaginary image where we are focusing on and we withdraw completely into a painful or sad feeling state which reflects the complete disconnect from the world outside. When we do that, the whole visual apparatus is severely impaired due to lack of movement, lack of tear liquid and overall strain. Using the Bates method is a fantastic way of reconnecting with the world using our consciousness and at the same time improving our eyesight. Bates was a great intuitive healer who came up with some physiological explanations that partially have been proven wrong by the scientific community. But his method has been proven very very beneficial in my life. Now, after seeing this I finally understand that curing/improving our eyesight goes along with trauma healing. For everyone who is interested, read the old Journals of the Bates magazine that have been republished by Thomas Quackenbush. There you find many treatment success stories from a hundred years ago. The stories stand out as all those people described were very miserable and there the trauma link becomes clear.
Thank you for this💖💖💖
Thank you for sharing, do you know if that method can cure glaucoma? Conventional medicine says it's irreversible and I'm really scared
@@poetaenlaluna I won't give medical advice here and every case is different. Personally I always act under the premise that with whatever I have, that healing is possible. If there is only 0,1% chance, I will be the one who takes it. If I remember correctly, Bates had success stories with glaucoma as well. They are documented in the book "Better Eyesight: The Complete Magazines of William H. Bates".
Thank you for sharing!
Thank you ❤
I know that I used to relax my vision, making it blurry so I didn't have to see. The blurriness made it seem like my reality was further away and I found safety in it. I also didn't want to see, to see others, to see anything that was happening in my life. This intentional relaxing became the normal state and I can no longer see properly and need glasses. My ANS also has trouble regulating my pupil size, making me get blinded by the lights at night. Great video, I just found your channel and its been extremely informative. I'm only beginning to realise just how much my trauma atfected me.
Wow this is me 100%
Me too @@AkshayKumar-ue1fp
That’s funny, I didn’t think anyone else did this.
I do this too. Zoning out and blurring my vision. A form of disassociation I guess?
@@herdyhely3496 yeah I think so because I have very bad vision and when I am stressed I take my glasses off.
When I’d dissociate as a child, I constantly would try to look inward at myself and unfocus my vision so I could escape the situation. Now, I’m getting my eyes checked due to not being able to see details as perfectly as I used to. Whether it’s related or not, I still have to keep grounding myself out of the mode to dissociate and hide
Me too. Did an unfocused stare in order to get away.
I went squint at around age 3, the same age at which my father started sexually abusing me. One night my mother confronted my father in the dark in the lounge, there was so much animosity, anger between them, and I was tiny, he had his hand around my wrist. She threatened him "I'm calling child welfare, he said to me, 'tell your mother she is a bithc. I was floating up against the ceiling, oddest feeling ever, I was beyond scared, I had to leave my body. She never removed me, it went on for years. I am so angry. I had to have an eye operation at 3, more trauma, so much more trauma. There should be a parenting licence and test & school. Yet we licence our damn cars. This world is mad & f*cked. So much ugliness. I am so very angry.
❤
You didn’t deserve that I hope you find your way to transmute your anger and trauma. Anger is our most loving emotion it tells us when we are being hurt, and there is an injustice. ❤
I’m angry FOR you, someone should have protected you. I’m so sorry that happened to you ❤
@@thesincitymama ❤
@@dallasmansfield3679 ❤
I’m 66, just lately experiencing co-regulating through the eyes with safe people. Better late than never!
There’s nowhere I’d rather be than at home on a Saturday evening listening to you. Thank you for sharing your wisdom. 🙏 ❤
So many broken souls, Lord cover us with Your Love, heal us, and let us see again. Amrn. 😢
Amen. Currently losing my eyesight
@@VisibleTimes I'm so sorry to hear that. Wishing you ease and grace in your journey.
@@EmergeAndSeeTherapeutics Thank you 🙏
@@Myatalanta-l4xhe is the devil. Yahweh is Satan
Less broken than the ones still stuck in denial persisting through suppression and stimulation 💔
I have lost my mother as three month old infant. Later years i read her note before she took her own life. She had Bipolar plus was abused as she carried me in her womb. Her diary said that i was frequently looking up to her and smiling at her. All of your videos are wonderful tool for recovery but i had tears coming up, as i listened to the part of child's need for connection. Such a great tool to know how to read, know and truly make connections to the safe people. Words can deceive or conceal hidden motif and emotions but what we see in the eyes reveal so much about the inner state of the individual. I think i always knew about this but never was consciously aware. Great help and comfort. Thank you so very much.
If someone can relate, i refer to their eyes as trauma eyes. You can actually see the pain and fear in people's eyes when they have complex trauma. I never knew i had this instinct until i finally found out about CPTSD and attachment theory. My subconscious knew, and eventually i was always proven right. Meanwhile as my body was screaming the red flags my conscious logical mind didn't know what i was dealing with yet.
I thought I coined the phrase “screaming body” !!! Ha, ha.
One thing that was not mentioned is sunglasses... and mobile phones. If parents are wearing sunglasses and the child who needs to see their eyes can't, that is the same as not paying attention or being available - even if the parent is looking directly at the child. As for mobile phones, we are so easily distracted by them, that we may feel we are talking or interacting with others - children esp. - but we are not giving them the eye contact required.
I grew up with almost constant trauma and have now had chronic facial pain for over twenty years. This explains a lot, thank you
Curiosity made me click on this one - I assumed Tim was going to talk about shortsightedNess. But this explains SO much. Im in acute PTSD after an event last year and noticed that I do hate driving at night lately, the headlights are so intense it's distressing. I also have an extremely keen sense of smell like a bloodhound and noise sensitivity. Never imagined these would be linked to my mental health. Thank you for another validating talk, Tim
Same here ! Strong smell but I’ll miss obvious objects nearby at times
After several trauma’s my eyesight began going bad. I was 7- and I know it was because of what happened to me.😢
Sending love. I have no idea how to heal but I know it's possible.
I can't believe how much of this applied to me, both from the pain my eyes and head have i've felt recently to the childhood hurt from not having your parents be there when you needed them.
I have always had trouble with eye contact. Its very uncomfortable for me. Very. The more disregulated/overstimulated I am, the less I can even look towards people, let alone their eyes.
I struggle with eye contact, always have. It just feels far too invasive. Makes me feel super exposed when people make eye contact.
(I dont think it's Aspergers in my case because I don't fit the other symptoms entirely... although some of my behaviours are admittedly adjacent.)
@nevadatan7323 it's level 1 autism, mixed with cPTSD for me. Lol... I laugh because I'm so used to not being able to do eye contact, but I do wonder how much more of it I could've been able to handle, without the cPTSD.
Dear Mr Fletcher may you always remain fascinated because it brings us answers that are by definition... Elusive.
Thankyou sir.
Trying to heal and learn to have eye contact with people has been one of the most challenging experiences for me. But it is possible and any growth is so rewarding. Thank you for your videos.
Cuz I’m autistic as well as healing from trauma… I want to say, get checked to make sure eye contact is natural for your neurotype, ok? Cuz if you’re actually autistic, then training yourself to give eye contact is actually an unhealthy exercise, because it’s a mask. If this doesn’t apply to you at all, please disregard my comment. Much love 💗
@@thesincitymama a lot of "autism" is just the result of neglect. Don't get carried away with these labels and give them a life of their own.
I've had a corrective lenses restriction on my California driver's license since i first received it at the age of 15.
At the age of 47 I suffered extreme emotional traumatic injury and betrayal.
When i had to renew my drivers license at the age of 49 i didn't have my prescription glasses because i was broke and nearly homeless.
I hadn't had them in 2 years. I was very nervous that i would be denied my drivers license because i thought i would fail the eye exam.
But for whatever reason when i took the eye exam at DMV I passed easily. I read the bottom line with both eyes and individually without squinting.
I was shocked.
I dont know what to attribute the change in my vision to but i can tell you that there is absolutely truth to this lesson.
Thank you sir.
Very interesting.
I was fortunate to also receive additional Brainspotting therapy during EMDR. Unbelievable what this does to your system. Trauma fades and memories do nothing. No more flash backs and anxiety. Thank you for this video Tim.
@InsideOut-v6w Oooo that sounds amazing, can you tell me about the Brainspotting and its an addition to EMDR? I finally just got started with a Complex Trauma therapist who does EMDR, I specifically wanted that, but your comment made me light up and I would love to hear about it ❤ Thank you and I am so happy that you are getting relief 😊
@@gldnsunrising7761 Hey, it's really promising. You can find info on the internet about brainspotting. You can absolutely trust it and you won't have any bad memories. Old images are positively overwritten. ❤️❤️❤️ No more fears and no more blockages. You start with a clean slate.
The therapist couldn’t even make a dent into me with EMDR. Very traumatizing for me anyway.
@@JillCeeEMDR is always VERY traumatizing That’s how it desensitizes you
@@pibkaveronica7622 Well, the therapist said it would be months before she would be able to make any headway with me. So that was all I needed to hear. I got more and more uncomfortable with her for each visit. Apparently, I was not responding at all.
Oh. My.
I've stopped the video @5:14
This is EXACTLY why I was misdiagnosed for so long! 🎉🎉🎉 It's so cool to put the pieces back together
We always connect. We can connect with being disconnected. Or afraid , or not getting what we want. Frustrated , angry, still not geting contentment. Shutting down. Negotiate. Grieving.
We get all of that in a glance.
We can cope with that by negating. Have a negative experience.
We can identify with any of these coping strategies.
That is how our sense of separat self is built. The ego.
And will all of this is happening.who we truly are is untouched and untouchable.
Being .
@20:47 This is exactly what I saw in Jesus' eyes when I met Him in a dream. Pure, warm, boundaried, stable, affectionate love and total acceptance. This is what He is like. And just His gaze has healed me of so much trauma. He loves us. He likes us. It rly undoes me.
This helped me understand my light sensitivty and other sensory processing difficulties. Thank you. ❤
Me, too. I thought I was born this way. I began crying when I learned this isn't why my senses are extremely sensitive.
The light of the eyes rejoices the heart,
And a good report makes bones healthy
-proverbs 15:30
So to make sure mothers-to-be are able to heal, feel safe and feel safe again is the most important task for society to focus on for a good future with well-matured people. More important than anything.
I almost fell asleep/did fall asleep at the wheel multiple times after my husband died. I don't recall how long it lasted, but it was scary. I pulled over, took a short nap (30 minutes which I usually can't do), and then went on.
I did get over this, but went early places when I was going through this.
The timing of this is insane. I am healthy and take care of myself well. However, my eyes have recently started to have issues. I had no idea it could be related to my trauma.
Thank you Tim! You have Blessed my life with your knowledge in ways beyond explanation! God Bless you from the Fiji Islands 🇫🇯 ❤️😇
God bless you, sir. ❤I've been on this 2nd spiritual awakening journey picking up the pieces of my life in the aftermath of what my narcissistic mom created. I had to kill my old ego, and it shook the ground from under me, almost killing me. Now, I'm on a quest for knowledge to understand how and why I came to be. You have helped me a great deal through this process, and you are greatly appreciated 🙏 keep up the awesome work👏❤ thank you ❤
Second daughter of three, I’m the one who have been severely short sighted, bad skin, bad teeth.
The two others haven’t had any of these issues.
They also don’t believe me when I say that I’ve been treated differently (very poorly) than them.
I suggest reading "They F8ck You Up" by Oliver James. You already know how you were treated, I found this book informative and affirming, of how parents and families treat each person differently.
@@Twixy-bn1du Thank you !
I believe you. I too am the scapegoat of my family. I was the oldest but birth order doesn’t matter when you are being scapegoated by parents so the siblings are taught how to treat you.
I can relate to that
TY Tim! So much of this explains the jaw, neck, eye pain, etc. that I often experience. I will need to listen to this a few times!
It also explains the T-Rex hands while sleeping.
Me too.
16:00 parasympathetic nervous system...feeling much better after a good cry.
This was very 😂 lol eye opening. Seriously, I used to have headaches a lot, but I haven't since I don't have so much contact with people. I have a lot of difficulty with eye contact. Partly from being autistic, and partly from childhood trauma. This brought back a lot of bad memories that I needed to process, but never thought about until now. Thank you so much!
The dissotiated eyes are well pictured in the song Far Away Eyes by the Rolling Stones..."...and if you are down on your luck...find a girl with far away eyes"...predators teachings...
Woah. That is a very accurate observation
Interesting.
That is predatory teaching, they’re sickos
This is EXACTLY how my high school sweetheart / ex husband found me! He later told me he was attracted to me because I seemed sad and distant. 😢
Yes! My mother had far away eyes. Many men saw her as an unattainable mystery...she was completely shut down. I always think of her when I listen to that song
Thank you Tim. This was very interesting. I thought it was going to focus on how trauma can damage one's eyesight. I've probably got complex trauma from childhood, but I always had very good eyesight. Then about 7 years ago I experienced something that was very traumatic for me. And my eyesight started deteriorating and have now become farsighted i wear glasses for reading. But, what you talked about here should be in EVERY parenting book because it is so important- and it's scary how clueless we actually are and the damage we cause without even knowing it.
I have CPTSD from childhood stress & just had cataracts removed because they got much worse after partner abuse in my fifties but as a child my eyesight deteriorated just as the abuse started to target my love of reading 🤦♀️
Reading was my favorite way to dissotiate from my life. I was a pathological reader.
Omg this hits so deep. Especially to know I'm not the only one who experienced this. I used to have migranes so bad that id lose my vision. Which is called an Aura migraine and no one would believe me not even teachers at school. It would happen so randomly it didnt matter where I was ughh
Big big hugs to you, cuz I’ve been there too - disbelieved when I was in pain. Such a helpless feeling for a child. Much love to you 💗
@@thesincitymamaGod bless you 🙏🏾💗 I pray for healing amongst everyone in the comments. And I feel so safe sharing my experiences. I remember I would go to the school nurse and beg her not to call my step mom to let her know I had a migraine. On the bus ride home I would be so anxious to go home because I knew when I got there I would get in trouble for having a migraine 😭. So now as an adult I feel guilty when I'm sick it's so heartbreaking that other people had to experience this! I'm so grateful to have found this channel God bless 💕🙏🏾
@@thesincitymamameasuring blood pressure will show pain.
This is really interesting thank you. I'm a scientist and years ago I did a research study on people who get migraine and found their brain responses to visual stimuli were quicker than those who don't get migraine. And then when they wore coloured lenses it slowed down. I never thought at the time about why their response time was faster, but trauma could be a huge factor in this
Absolutely fascinating. I am living with childhood trauma and ptsd from physical, sexual and emotional abuse. I have such a difficult time driving at night. All the lights feel like spotlights shining directly into my eyes. It never occurred to me that my eyes could be connected to hypervigilance.
it's not just the eyes though. the body is storing trauma in many different body parts which manifests later as disease if it's not released or healed.
TRE...trauma release exercises.
This video is though. Plus he’s talking about more than just the eyes
@@MysticalDyl I haven't watched the whole thing but I am loving his content! he's very articulate and helpful with understanding trauma.
Gabor Matte
The body doesn't store trauma. That's the brain. The body is the conduit for remembering trauma. That concept hasn't been fleshed out and people need to stop throwing it around so flippantly until it's better understood.
I wonder if he knows how his compassionate teaching is massively helping others!! Thank you for being such a Christ like human being ❤
Tim, I’ve noticed in your videos lately that the gain on your microphone might be tuned a little high and it distorts your voice unpleasantly / perhaps tune it for a smoother sound? Thank you!!! I love your videos!
It sounds fine for me…
I hear some distortion too. It isn’t necessarily bothersome but I hear it. :)
i am definitely noticing audio distortion in this video, even at half volume
Thank you so much, Tim. You described my entire traumatic childhood and adulthood better than I could have ever imagined anyone being able to do.
Thank you so much Tim. This is fascinating. I had recurring dreams as a child where I couldn't open my eyes - like the sunlight was too bright or I was still too sleepy to crack them open - I'm thinking now it must have had something to do with what I was experiencing in waking life. Far too much to process for a child. And it also makes me think about autistic folks (of whom I'm one) - chronic IBS and pain (thinking of my mum with fibromyalgia) and autoimmune conditions (myself with eczema flare ups whrn im emotionally distressed) - there's so many overlaps with what get labelled sensory processing issues, when I'm starting yo think are actually chronic stress issues resulting from a world which has no patience or space for folks who don't have the neurotype of the majority.
Fascinating! I have migraines and now IBS. My yoga teacher says, “As your breath goes, your mind goes,and as your mind goes, your breath goes.” I think I’ll try some sitting every day with closed or unfocused eyes and do some easy breathing. I think this will teach my body to feel safe.
I have had TMJ, migraines, and other issues. When, I first got the TMJ, my doctor didn’t know how it started at all! -I never put it together it started with my trauma. I figured it out, it was from stress but I have never had anyone tell me it’s from trauma!
My migraines, I got them as a child and I still get them as an adult. I know it’s from stress.
All this about the eyes,👀 is very interesting. Some people, I can’t look at them in their eyes! I look at the person who’s talking, I look at their face. I always hope they don’t notice, I think it’s because i don’t want that rejection, or for them to know how I feel. I thought it was just me. I never knew why.
My mom can “look like she’s looking at your soul,” she suffered a lot of abuse as well. I never knew, it was a response to abuse.
I still clutch up, at times, my jaw. At night when I am working late, trying to get things done, my eyes get funny. I think they might get dry, or really big. It could also be from the cold, I work at a grocery store. At night it can be stressful, and I work in the cooler. Not, in the milk box, but the outside cooler. Like staring into the fridge, and pulling everything forward in a straight line. -Which is called “facing.” If you’ve ever worked retail you know what I am saying.
Anyway, if you do have a headache at work, I like to stand in the milk box, for a bit. Or just “face” the cooler. It makes my head feel better.
The opposite of A.C.E.s is P.A.C.E.s. What we do with this information for ourselves and others is the key. If words and actions can damage the soul, they certainly have the power to heal our's and another's soul. We can move forward connecting in healthy, kind and responsible ways.
ACE's refers to Adverse Childhood Effects (study done by Vince Filetti). PACE's refers to Positive Effects. ☺️
A few times a day i take a minute to unclench every muscle around my eyes. There are SO MANY muscles around there! Soon, after seeking out and unclenching all those tiny eye muscles, waves of relief wash though my head.
I've had this intuition for a while now that part of the reason why my eyesight got so bad all of the sudden when I was young was because I stopped using them. I was constantly turning inward into my imagination to escape my outside reality, and I always wondered if that's why my vision faded.
Lord,
Open my eyes to see people the way you want me to; to forgive those who’ve hurt me and to focus on love. Love. Love. Love.
It overcomes all.🙏🏻
I love "....see the people the way You want me to". NICE!
What a beautiful, heartfelt prayer. One that I want to remember for myself and for certain people in my life.
God bless you ❤
Love is the greatest!
Thank you for sharing this prayer❤
@@Mbee3-m2b amen!
@@susie5254 God bless!💞
I get blurry vision when i begin to feel stressed or PTSD is set off in certain circumstances. i can go from clear normal vision to totally blurry within a minute. what has made it a lot harder for me is no one seems to understand this and they keep telling me i am squinting and should get glasses. it makes it even worse for me and causes more stress and i panic if i have to try to read something around these people, one of these people is a person who has had a role in causing trauma and my eyes blur just being around them for too long. when i am alone i find i can relax enough to settle it down. i do a set of eye relaxation exercises most mornings which does help quite a lot. this is great information, at least it helps me know i am not imagining this problem and it does have some physiological truth to it. i would love to hear if this happens to others as it has stressed me a lot.
I dont mean to scare you but I would recommend seeing a neurologist. You could be having a real neurological reaction under stress. Does it happen when you get too hot? I have multiple sclerosis and stress effects my eyes. I cant be around stressful people because it effects my eyes! Something to consider! It took 8 years to get a diagnosis.
I noticed when young that after a gym workout my eye sight be crystal clear. As a result I have paid close attention to my eyesight and how it reacts for 30 years. Tim is on to something - also investigate the Bates method plus get a full head scan etc (to be sure). Yes stress reduces vision quality and learning to be less stress helps a lot. Good luck.
Thank you. Watching and Listening from Alaska.
🤔
Learning something new every day.
🙂
Absolutely clear and affirmative of how it goes and grows....to adulthood. I've experienced all of it-tight and tied in gut, diaphragm - breathing, eyes - always changing number of glasses and pain behind the eye balls also in sunlight, clenched jaws in sleep if I'm able to sleep.... lately I'm relating it to fascia issue and immunity, naturally if one's dissociated and hypervigilant, and related body dysfunctions. Essentially unregulation at many levels - perception, thinking, emotions, expressions, interactions, relationships, bodily....
Thankyou for this detailed research inputs.
I've always suspected this, particularly when I see a tiny child wearing thick glasses. In one case a little boy I knew who was quite a peppy kid. A few months later I saw him wearing very thick glasses, it was just after his father began drinking again and was kicked out of his job. It happened very publicly and I guess the shame of it all must have been traumatic - something he just couldn't bear to see.
A spiritual teaches spoke about this, that every wrinkle on our face, even our face shape is that way because of how we experienced life whether good or bad. The way we walk also.
@@NattyByNature- Our mind shapes our bodies, no doubt about that
Oh my goodness! When I began facing the trauma of an abusive marriage, my left eye has been giving me a lot of problems. Now I understand why. Thank-you so much for this podcast.
Time to help kids recognize abusive parents early so they have a fighting chance. It's so much harder to recover late in life
I agree that it's much harder to recover in later life.
I'm so excited to find your channel. It's been a long time since I learned anything new about complex trauma. You have given me even more insights on myself and those I love (especially since idk that I've ever loved someone who wasn't noticeably dysfunctional or dysregulated)
It’s amazing how my weekly debilitating migraines, TMJ and anxiety resolved after moving across the country from my narcissistic mother and enabler father. After years of wearing night guards for TMJ pain, I no longer need to wear one.
Thank you, much respect. 🪷
This is the basis for EMDR and why it helps so much with cPTSD
... EMDR is mainly exposure therapy. This is not at all the basis, at all, for EMDR.
Some people swear EMDR helps them a lot, and I'm glad it does, but when I heard a description of it, it sounded like something that would scare me.
EMDR did absolutely nothing for me. It was interesting at times but didn't help anything.
EMDR makes no sense to me. I can understand why TRE can work or be helpful, but not EMDR 😅
EMDR is like bringing a pen knife to a gun fight. Amateur hour.
Can you please do one on overeating? 🙏
Thank you for this thoughtful content. It really helps me unpack my congenital eye movement disorder (Duane's Retraction Syndrome) and how it adds another layer to these symptoms. Fascinating and healing.
Awesome, this is the beautiful part of social media🌸
Fascinating..my muscles and body always tense, tight , sore….…I love learning this stuff…yet I am a watcher, an observer, and emotionally healed so much… …able to not react…it’s interesting to see all this stuff in people and they have no awareness..
So many violent with their words and they have no clue it’s of violence because their so identity with what they say….if you point it out…They blow off or get defensive…if you set a boundary..they have no emotional maturity to respect it and get mad and act like a bratty 10 year old….trauma brain…
We live in one crazy world where people are sleepers with their eyes wide open…judging, fighting, gossiping, reacting, defending, etc..
I don’t have anyone around me practicing this and they have no
interest in it…..I am a Lone Ranger…lol…
it has taken a lot of practice and healing..and understanding…
most people aren’t present..they’re just rambling on and on…lol..reacting..
Love this stuff….now I know more about what has been going on with me…yet the other part is the more I learn than I learn how this has affected me and knowing my children were not with a present Mother….makes me sad…what my trauma brain imprinted in their brain…we are to be of love, security, safety, connection, kindness, connection heart to heart….
I have a terrible problem that my eyes tear profusely when Im in stressful social situations.
I figured this out on my own a couple of days ago and wrote it down in my journal - but Ive learned even more stuff from this👍 I know my vision will get better when Im better.
I watched this because I have recently developed ocular migraines. This makes a lot of sense!
Same here
Thank you for sharing! Had my second ever last Monday night, very scary. Magnesium was an instant relief. Nevertheless I am a bit scared of them returning, as the body is currently opening up kinda every flood gate that were shut down for 55 years. Healing to you and all who read this 🙏
@@AntjeDebus you need to take 400 mg of magnesium preventively every single night
I was terrorized and beated up by a bully in High school for 2 years when I was 9, and my myopia started then and has only progressed ever since
Not to mention forceps damage in difficult births....
My whole body has residual clenching issues.
So true about the clench and withdraw. You named what I knew when I looked at a picture of me as an 8 year old little girl in a black and white photo. It struck me so odd at the posture. I have 2 grown children myself and I thought what a weird position. My arms are crossed over my chest and I have one leg lifted trying to protect my pelvic area. A year before this pic I was raped by a grown man
Do you have far away eyes? They are common in complex trauma more than ptsd or shell shock (eyes wide open or 1000 yards stared). Check old pictures and look for dreamy eyes in your face. I have seen them in pictures of my grandmother and myself and the Rolling Stones have a song "Far away eyes". That's how I realized she had a crappy childhood because she died when my father was 9 years old...too many pregnancies and the last delivery ended her life. Many women at that time chained one pregnancy after another and died young.
I was hoping you would talk about specific pathologies like nearsightedness. I read anecdotal evidence that many survivors of CPTSD are nearsighted. This might be a good video in the future.
THANK YOU FOR THIS🙏🏽🙏🏽
I find that it affects my tummy and digestive system the most and my hair. My tummy stores fat because it thinks we are in danger. I gain weight once relationships become toxic and abuse before it gets bad.
Once I leave I lose weight and my hair gets healthy. I will listen to my body in my next relationships
Thank you so much, you really explain this so well and I find it extremely fascinating AND helpful!
Oh wow, this explains so much. 👁️
Extremely insightful video. Thank you so much for sharing!!
Ive always thought so! nice to see there are studies backing that
Appreciate you so much, Tim ❤ Thank you for so much giving. 🙏🏽 How lucky we are, how lucky we are, how lucky we are
Thank you for sharing this wonderful knowledge.
Wow! 😭 ive known why I've had health issues, but this in depth understanding is a major gift.
Brilliant video. Thank you so much, Tim. 🙏
this is really interesting. I became short sighted when 5 and it got worse and worse so I had really thick glasses and refused to wear them a lot of the time. as adult I got contact lenses so avoided the great shame I felt with my glasses. I had a bad relationship with my mother who refused meaningful contact all my life.I don't believe I read peoples eyes correctly or feel they do mine.I have thought that the withdrawal in myself as a child and really throughout life was a withdrawal of energy to the eyes as well,causing the myopia. I am a very visually oriented person ,enjoy art and nature and loved the story of Beatrix Potter focusing on the little animals because of short sight. a lot to consider in this video. a lifelong feeling of being disconnected from others and feeling I can't see what is going on with others in their eyes ,or that they are being guarded and hidden to me. there is a great deal in this video ,in helping me to try and understand things.
Same. Became severely shortsighted which resulted in further punishment. The caretaker intervened to say how wonderful there is something (glasses) to help. That offered some relief. But as a child, I did internalise all the aggressive behavior. Wonderful to recieve laser surgery with a great reduction in prescription. Colours became vibrant, less exhaustion. Better depth perception. A new life. Another surgeon on a different matter mentioned how exhausting poor vision is. It was so unusual to receive this affirmation. Like being heard for the first time in my life at 58. My goodness!! How wonderful, finally!! It was a gift, albeit fleeting, as it was just during a dr appointment. And, I know people are absorbed in their own lives. I avoid eye contact unless a person is regulated and friendly
@@karenlewkowitz5858 thankyou for replying. so glad you got the laser surgery . I got cataract surgery at 72 so my vision was corrected then. amazing to not have to deal with lenses or glasses. poor vision had me internalising everything ,a retreat into the tiny world I could see clearly. I am sure being short sighted had a really profound affect and as you say exhausting. hope your eyes are good from now on.
Thankyou for this tutorial. It helps me understand , actual evidental , researched, reliable facts, to my conditions at this time.
I really appreciate it.
Yes, I endured this with my late Mother. This is interesting.
Wow 😮 This is everything in me. Thank you for this.
Through extended stressful times I've been unable to enter the surf, especially in the white water, way too much light getting in and my eyes start rolling up!! This explains it perfectly Tim. And yep my eyes tear up terribly 😢😢😢
These discoveries sure shed a new light on both autism and fibromyalgia
Exactly…makes so much sense …I love his teaching…
You perfectly described something I've suspected about myself, but never heard anyone else talking about. Even as I was watching this video when I finally paid attention to how my eyes feel - of course my entire face was tense, I was frowning without being angry and my eyes were so tense as if I was trying to slice the screen with some magic lasers, my lips pressed so tight as if they were under some attack. There was no reason to be so tense, I was watching this video in my free time during the weekend, yet it was so bad... because it's practically normal state for me, I often like this and don't even notice it (unless people ask me what's wrong). I have to take naps during the day though, because I feel exhausted often, which finally makes sense - being so tense all the time is exhausting.
I also have dark circles around the eyes since kindergarten and often I was shamed for them - I was told that I must be lazy and don't move enough for proper bloodflow, that I must be disobedient and didn't sleep when I was told to, that I was a picky eater and didn't eat properly etc, etc... I didn't understand why people (my toxic family mostly) were so compelled to shame me for something that looked so permanent, like something genetical. I also was asked many times also why I was looking at people or things so tensely (people hate it). I also have deep seated eyes (I noticed that a lot of people with complex childhood trauma have deep seated eyes) and my jaw is far from perfect shape. I very dislike how I look because of all of it, it indeed makes me look much older than I really am, and those traits are conventionally very unattractive for a woman. I blamed bad genetics despite neither of my parents have exactly the same traits, but it's probably due to stress from the early on. My parents suffered a of of trauma too, but they are loud, outwardly turned, dysregulated people, while I happen to be quiet, inwardly turned, tense person who dissociates a lot ever since I remember myself. To put it short - miserly loves the company. I couldn't be just traumatized, I'm also ugly. I know this video didn't mean to call anyone ugly or focus on this aspect. I just have trouble with dealing with this. I feel ugly, I got called ugly, I don't like those traits. I can't fix my jaw with makeup, I have to live with this and it sucks.
You are not ugly...just hurting. I hope you find the comfort, peace and healing you deserve ❤
My eyesight went bad about 10 years ago. It used to be perfect. I also have a few autoimmune disorders now because of trauma. Along with anxiety and depression and a couple other mental issues . I think most of my health issues are because of to trauma. I found your page today and I am very grateful. I also called a therapist for the first time in 4 years about an hour ago. Thank you for helping me and others put things into perspective. It's easy to lose focus.
Welcome brother, I just started my journey a few days ago from 20 years of suffering. Now we know, let's get better
@@jimd4609 I'm a girl. Yes let's do better
I've honestly never heard this addressed before. I go to a trauma therapist and only seen him so far two months.... but I was loosing my vision for a good three years after I moved to a safe environment. No doctor could find the cause but they can see the symptoms from my eye exam. Some of my neurologist (I have epilepsy) thought I was faking it but the Department of the Blind wouldn't help me and just give me a white cane just because.... anyhow. I'm binge watching your videos. They are great.
I saw some weird yt short about trauma eyes but the guy was useless at describing it. So glad you're talking about it
My eyesight was dwindling and my mood darkening
Thank you for your video