Story 1: NTA. What about the rest of his assets? Home, car and anything else. His wife would've gotten that. She had no right to the life insurance end of story.
Not to mention, if they live in the US, they are ALL (even OP and her daughter) eligible for monthly survivor's benefits based on the deceased earnings. Granted it wouldn't be a million dollars, but it's better than nothing. Emma must be bitching because she didn't get the windfall she thought she would.
Yes. She theoretically should have gotten his entire estate, including everything in his bank account. The fact is, he made an agreement and the law is the law. OP was perfectly within her rights to make sure that the agreement that he made is upheld, and the court evidently agreed. If those kids didn’t get anything, and I honestly feel bad for them, that’s on the ex-husband for not preparing anything for them, not on OP. She didn’t do it for selfish reasons, either. The money isn’t hers. It’s her daughter’s. OP can’t exactly use it for personal reasons.
For the life of me, I will never understand Reddit’s mentality that it’s wrong to strike back to idiots. Like seriously do they expect all people to just take abuse because that’s the mature thing to do? Every human has their breaking point and Op just gave that Jenny girl a taste of her own medicine. Seriously why is it wrong to clap back out someone who’s done nothing but great insult you?
It's crazy. The supposed victim has been attacking everyone and trying to pass it off as a joke. What is wrong with the parents and sister that they put this girl above a son that only made a mistake of dating, then breaking up with someone years ago? And even though it sounds like the parents sided with OP this time, why didn't they set Jenny straight? She is an adult. She should have better self control at this point. And if she is bold enough to dish it out, who cares if she can't take it? Where is it written that a victim has to stay a victim and not fight back? OP and her husband need to go low contact if they can't get this girl under better control. And the sister can eff off.
Alright we're supposed to understand Jenny because she has trauma but completely ignore the fact that o p was 2 days past her due date and in a high-stress situation so if you can't blame Jenny for her trauma related actions you can't blame op for her hormonal ones.
Because they're on Reddit and 9 times out of 10 they're also the ones stirring shyte and putting themselves in the position they're the ones getting clapback. Obviously when one of their own gets pushback they run to defend a fellow moron.
And as horrible as it may be, sometimes you have to get down to someone’s level in order to make them understand. Jenny needs to move on in every aspect. Has she even dated since she and Jake ended things?
If your gonna go as low as the person your dealing with you throw away the moral high ground and open yourself up to people thinking your a piece of shit. You can’t go low and be the good person, and that’s coming from someone that absolutely fucking revels in being cruel to someone when they fuckin deserve it.
S1: Huge NTA. OP doesn't owe her late husband's mistress or her affair children squat. She was right to lawyer up. Mistress shouldn't have bred with a married man, and he should have made other legitimate arrangements for his illegitimate kids. Not OP's problem.
I hope OP helps her daughter every way possible because I’m betting one of the next steps will be stepmom pestering OPs daughter when 18 to share her trust with her siblings
@@Azulakayes I agree 💯, as if it wasn't bad enough to be with a married man and ruin a marriage but try to take the money that wasn't her's to begin with. It's sickening.
@@duckeh1952 She's going to cut OP off from Addison no matter what he does. So he might as well tell the brat exactly what he thinks of her! She can explain to her kid why her favourite uncle isn't there anymore.
Jenny story: Throwing someones trauma back at them is perfectly valid when that trauma is their rationale for constantly harassing you. Dont start nothing, wont be nothing.
Story 2: so people assume OP speaks that way to his SIL for no reason? I'm sure she's earned it by acting entitled. And if the uncle is already heavily involved in his nephew's life and his brother wants him to continue that role why would anyone want to go against his wishes?
We're only going by the BIL side & what he THINKS is the SIL issue is with him. To be honest, he comes as one of those defensive insecure ppl who thinks rich people are looking down on him so he acts like a asshole first. And no, SIL doesn't need him. He ain't gonna talk to her any type of way and have access to HER kid
It does not matter why he speaks to her this way. That's not his kid. If he wants to be there he shouldn't speak to her like that. He's an uncle. He won't have any rights to that kid but as a mother she has thr right to not have him around her kid. He isn't thinking.
@@justinenicole3926and you have nothing to say about the wife going against her dead husband’s wishes and her ignoring that the son has a great relationship with the child. And you don’t care that she was so damn entitled it would make any reasonable person sick? What story did you hear? It seems you missed important details
OP, just get your parents to start spending a lot of time with your nephew. When your brother passes, have them file fgor grandparents rights/visitations. Then you spend time wirh nephew during their visits with him. Skip interacting with Carly.
Story 2, NTA, what is with all this comments?. Carly is most likely spoiled, and OP is just not getting too deep into the story; but if he think he is like a second dad to his nephew and his nephew reciprocates, that means that keeping OP away would most likely hurt the little guy big time, and Carly needs to face reality and what is best for the boy.
He likely IS like a second dad if the actual father is asking him to take his place as much as he can when he’s gone. That’s not something you trust to just anyone. So yeah, she’s majorly in the wrong. She’s so butt hurt about something hat happened 10 years ago (something that was honestly her own doing, anyway) that she’s willing to not only make her son go through the grief of losing his father, but also of ripping his uncle away. I would get the father to write his final wish in front of a lawyer and try to get visitation rights to the boy. Or push the parents to get grandparents rights. This woman will mess that poor kid up. My mom put her hatred over my father above what was right for me and boy, did that do a number on me.
Story 1: NTA. OP had a legally binding document regarding the husband's life insurance. He KNEW he couldn't add beneficiaries to it but likely did so on the assumption OP wouldn't fight it because kids. The new wife/kids would have received any other inheritance (and debt) he had accrued during her marriage to him. Story 2: NTA. You aren't owed a free wedding venue because family. By renting the property out OP would have at least some insurance/funds to cover any damages occurred because of said wedding. Carly just didn't like being told no. OP's brother came to understand, accept, and drop the situation and their relationship continued with little issue to the point brother is asking OP to be an active part of and role model for his nephew. Carly's attitude is what will screw that up as she'll likely do what she can to keep OP away from his nephew after his brother passes. Story 3: NTA. OP's wedding, OP's decision. She wants her Grandfather to walk her down the aisle and act in place of her missing father so that's that. Stepdad only offered to pay for the wedding after she'd already saved/planned it out and was only doing it to force OP into giving him the role he wanted. Story 4: NTA. Jenny needed to be put back in her place and only OP had the balls to do it. Good on her. OP's 100% right that she isn't going anywhere and her place is only solidifying while Jenny's is waning. Honestly the best thing the family could do is realize how toxic Jenny is and separate themselves from her. She's not a lost child anymore, she's a grown adult who's long overdue for a wakeup call. Story 5: NTA. Don't sling if you can't take getting hit yourself. OP has worked hard to earn the position of Valedictorian. Stepsis is just a jealous twit who'd rather try to pull OP down than work on pulling herself up while she still has the opportunity to. She could be taking tutoring sessions to help raise that grade if vying for the top 20 is that important to her.
Story 1: Don't forget that Emma is a homewrecking mistress so even OP not engaging with her is very mature. I am petty, I would ask her if that was her plan all along, to steal my daughter's money as she was opening her legs for a married man...too bad so sad.
The fact they said it’s tradition for the father to walk the bride down the aisle so by that logic he can’t walk op either because he’s not her biological father
Story 1, NTA. So typical for the mistress turned wife to be hateful of op because she didn't get the money she wanted. I wouldn't be surprised if she knew about the agreement and still thought she could get the money and the agreement meant nothing. So she hates and is jealous of op for six years after the money was granted to the original kid and repeatedly keeps trying to play "woe is me" card to guilt op. I bet it pisses her off more that op doesn't entertain her guilt tripping. It was stupidity on her and the ex husband to try to take the money from his bio kid and give to her and her kids. After six years it's just pathetic and shows how much she's disliked op to keep trying to guilt trip op.
@@Azulakayes exactly 💯, it's obvious that she's hated op and I wouldn't be surprised if she was jealous of op for being the ex husband's wife instead of her.
Story 1: I would eyeroll too! She doesn’t care about her own kids as she is complaining she is broke. She would spend every cent of her kids life insurance since she already wishes she has the money instead of it truly going to her kids.
Definitely shows when she’s trying to guilt OP about her expenses and not her kids needs. I wonder if OP can get the court involved where she doesn’t have to encounter the wife at all when bringing her daughter over? Maybe get counseling for her daughter make sure the wife isn’t guilty or manipulating her?
Story 1: OP is NTA. The ex wasn’t allowed to make changes to the policy via court judgement. The ex could have increased the policy to cover his other two kids.
Story #2: NTA!! Why are these armchair Dr. Phil wanna be's saying that you are! Your SIL thought she was entitled to YOUR PROPERTY!! She'll get over it!
...and why he thinks he is entitled a role of father figure? Thinks he has any say how sil will run her family and what kind of role op has if bro passes?
@@DerekScottBlandand let’s also brush past the fact that OP is already active in Addisons life. Nope! OP is the meany because he told Carly no and she’s the one holding it against him since!
Story 4: NTA, but Jenny is insane. You may have been a bit rude, but after years of constant disrespect that is completely understandable. Your SIl-In-Law needs to stop inviting her around whenever you are going to be present, if this girl is this unstable.
So glad everyone in family (except sister) is on the same page about Jenny. Somewhere down the road this sister is gonna regret missing out on a lot of family events by siding with Jenny. Jenny sounds very manipulative about going to a dark place tyo get her way, well at least it only works with sister. Bet she tried this tactic with her family but it didn't work.
Ex girlfriend story: NTA, but Jenny SERIOUSLY NEEDS to her crap together!! She NEEDS intensive therapy, a long vacation alone, and to move away from the only town she's EVER REALLY KNOWN!!! Jenny needs to get her own life away from her ex AND his family!! However I SERIOUSLY suspect that she'll be kicked out sooner rather than later because of her behavior towards op and her children!! The moment she says or does something terrible towards one of the grandkids, which she will GUARANTEED, op's inlaws will probably drop her like a hot rock, except maybe the sister!!!
S2: NTA. If these people are still holding a grudge because OP didn't give them permission into use a piece of property he owns, I'd argue they are the idiots, not him!
It’s not that. It’s the way he spoke to her and basically degraded her because her dad has money. You’re glossing over how he talks to her and treats her.
@@jacearmor5274op thinks she's holding a grudge but looks like sil doesn't like him because he is - and always has been ah to her. And not meaning him saying they need to pay was ah. He really thinks he can bark sil orders how to run her life snd family. Did you even read the last part he said to her? He seriously thinks he gets to decide the role in kid's life. "I M not your husband or dad" ..yeah and he isn't kid's dad either. He doesn't get to decide, he is not charge of Carly or his nephew. And will not be if bro passes despite he thinks he will be.
_"Okay. The Stepdad, I will honor your desire and tradition to pay for our wedding. But The Grandad is _*_STILL_*_ going to be walking me down the aisle. You still on-board wif dat?"_ She could still take his money if that's what gets him jazzed, but *still* keep to her convictions.
Problem is though if he pays, he’ll likely want to pay the vendors and others directly so that if OP protests something, he can easily cancel his payments without OP having objections. It’s better for OP to take nothing from him.
@@lorilancaster5917 The Happy Couple could make it clear that if he were to do that, they'd go The Nuuuculer Option, ie, total NC, never ever to see any grandkids, etc. And preemptively call all the vendors, the venue, etc., with explicit notes that if there's any attempt to cancel anything, let The Happy Couple know and they'll make good where The Stepdad wouldn't. Things go ahead without a hitch, and The Nuuuculer Option is still on the table, only now The Stepdad (and any others who get in the way) are now uninvited.
Op’s ex had the option of raising their insurance to include his other children also op is not using the money since it’s in a trust meaning ex’s new wife wants to use the money had it been left to her kids. She can file for survivor benefits for her kids.
Story 1: NTA, he violated the terms of the divorce settlement. If he wanted those kids to get something he should have gotten a separate policy or at minimum upped the policy to $3 million so each girl got $1 million.
@@lsmith992these were his children with his affair partner. The first was born right when he got divorced which means he left his family for his pregnant AP and married her.
Jenny can dish it but can't take it. She is a charity case. She should have exited that family gracefully when she became an adult and maintained a respectful distance. The fact is that they would never choose her over their grandchildren so by her insulting OP, she was setting herself up for failure. Lots of people have traumatic childhoods, what they don't do is act immature when they are adults.
Since when has it been bad luck to pay for your own wedding? IME couples that pay for their own weddings have their crap together and tend to have a better start to their marriage.
@@nancyomalley6286A Despicable and bald faced attempt at that! It's like he ran back in the room and said "I know I know why don't you let me pay for the whole shooting match!" He's the kind of guy that will be pulling for Gramps to kick before the wedding day.
In the second story. The OP isn't the arsehole. The sister-in-law is, as she is clearly still holding a grudge about not being able to use the OP's property for their wedding.
@@lorilancaster5917we're only going by the BIL side & what he THINKS is the SIL issue is with him. To be honest, he comes as one of those defensive insecure ppl who thinks rich people are looking down on him so he acts like a asshole first. And no, SIL doesn't need him. He ain't gonna talk to her any type of way and have access to HER kid
"Sister" story. Anyone saying YTA are Jenny's in real life. They expect people to tiptoe around them because of their "trauma". You're all pathetic. Way to go OP.
Story 2 NTA. WOW. A round of applause for OP for putting that spoiled princess in her place. Rich, but won’t pay up for using your property and holds a grudge for a decade? Wow. His brother and her husband is dying, but she is still picking fights. Pathetic. Good on OP for being real. 😊
From the sound of the way the insurance trust works, the new wife wouldn't be able to tap into it to pay HER bills, only the kids. Too bad, so sad, she can't sponge off the kids' inheritance. The stepsister is delusional to think her poor ranking will improve her chances of a good school if she sabotages her sister.
And the mom scolded the wrong child. Contrary to what stepsister said, college admissions look more into what OP brings to the table. It also sounds like OP is more well rounded than stepsister believes. If OP can put in the time and effort to have her rank at school, so can she. I like how one commenter said that stepsister should use her time in her room having a tantrum to study instead.
@@lorilancaster5917 You're mixing two stories there with it. The insurance one is separate from the step sister freaking out there because OP worked harder there. OP was doing AP classes...only thing better are the ones that also give college credit or the split time and take actual college courses ones but not every school offers those options. And the step sister isn't doing that badly there in the first place...27 out of 520 isn't a bad thing, especially if there's a lot of competition for top 20
Arguably she would to a limited degree be able to tap into a trust (if her kids had one). Basic living expenses for the children for example could be partially paid for out of the trust. It exists to basically act as the fathers income, so it should cover 50% of all child centered expenses. The fact that the trust is setup how it is however means it would take a court order to split it currently regardless of the OP's wishes, and no court would grant that order from the sounds of how its setup. Now OP'a daughter upon turning 18/21 (whatever age/conditions are required for the trust to pay out to her) could split what's left, but that's her choice only.
Story 3: NTA, your wedding, your choice of who (if anyone) fills the role of father of the bride. Oh and a "gift" with stings attached (other than an engagement ring), is no gift at all.
Which OP saw right through. Wished she pointed that out to him. If I were petty, which I am, I would make sure that stepdad was at guest level as much as possible. Doesn’t have a seat with OPs mom. Doesn’t get to sit by his wife at the front during the ceremony. Hell! At this point why should he even be invited? If the mom refuses to go in protest then so be it.
@@hydrahq8676 Any parent who would not go to their child's wedding, over something as trivial as her wanting her paternal grand-father to fill in for her deceased father, is a horrible parent. The step-father has exactly zero right to expect the honor of filling in. He can be disappointed by the second her starts harassing her the way he did he is an AH.
Jenny: NTA. You don't have to care about or tiptoe around the childhood trauma of the person insulting you. You don't have to be nice to the person calling you a slut.
I love the fact that the mistress in the first story is complaining to OP that she's broke. Like the money was for the kids. Even if she did get the 2/3 for her kids it wouldn't have helped her since IT'S FOR THE KIDS AND NOT HER. So she would still be broke
But if OP bites his tongue and lets Carly treat him like crap, Addison will pick up on that. "Mommy knows best, no one ever says no to mommy." Diplomacy yes, but OP can't let her hold him hostage for the kid's sake. Be prepared to let him go.
Story 5: NTA, so you have to let step-sister ruin your weekend, but can't return the favor? If your sister wanted to be in the top 20 she should have worked harder. It isn't "gaming the system" to take harder courses that are worth more if you do well (at the same time if you take those courses and do poorly you get a bigger GPA reduction.
I don't get mom, so stepsister was allowed to be mean to op but when op claps back she is to harsh? lets hope mom keep the stepsisters room because she might come back after the first year of college
OP tell Mom, people who live in glass houses shouldn't cast the first stone. She'll know what it means. I agree with person who recommended a PO Box and passwords on everything. I recall another story where someone missed out on a scholarship to their dream college because a jealous family member accessed their email and replied that they decline accepting it. No way (Too late) to get it back once they found out.
2nd Story- This is a clear NTA. We have seen stories, time after time, of 'family' trashing a location they chose for a venue and didnt pay for damages because xyz and people telling the op to 'get it in writing' Guess what- this OP did just that and showed he wasn't a fool. His brother getting over it and the SIL not says more about her than him, and the fact he played a close role with their son says even more about his. His brother is battling cancer and let me tell you- that eats up money like there is no tomorrow, and OP's brother knew it, its why he trusted him. That baby boy's future is more inportant than SIL's ego, so she needs to get herself in line, because the only one that has the resources to help is the person she is burning bridges with.
So y’all think it’s okay for him to talk to her like that? It sounds like OP has a chip on his shoulder over his SIL having wealth in her family, and treats her like garbage when his brother isn’t there and justifies it with something that happened a decade ago. Hope his ego keeps him company when his SIL doesn’t let her son be around him
@@femboy__bunny given that he had wealth himself, what would he have a chip for? I am not mocking by the way, dont mistske my tone, I actually wanna know your arguement.
@@femboy__bunnySo he makes a snap comment because sister kept pushing him to use his property after he said no (and where does that come off as having an issue with her being rich if anything it's an issue with her being entitled). And that's a big assumption of you to think op treats her like garbage on one comment, which could have been said in frustration.
What passes me off is the wife is like I am so broke and then you took assets away from my kids to me that says the money would probally be gone before the kids could use it
17:37 LOL. Love ya XO, but next time you see that word, it's not meant to be "favorite". It's an acronym. "FAFO" stands for "Fuck Around and Find Out". Hugs!
I'm surprised at the number of YTA comment on story 2. If she had been holding a grudge for 7 years based on that incident, telling her to 'grow up' seems pretty mild.
It's not often you can cut two young kids out of a life insurance payout and be right...But, yeah. The policy was for his daughter with OP. HE should have set up a 2nd policy.
Story 4: NTA. Jenny has abandonment issues, but she’s the way she is because partly because of Jake’s sister. I’m gonna call the sister “Sarah”. Sarah continues to enable Jenny’s behavior when even her own parents are tired of it and the other siblings are adamant that they’re not standing up for Jenny no matter what Sarah does. It’s possible that Sarah also is upset with Jake for dumping jenny and has some weird fantasy in her head where Jake and Jenny are married and then they’re sisters for real. Some people may think I’m reaching, but I’d like to bring up the story about that one op who’s sister tried to force her back with her ex all because she dreamed of both her and her sister marrying both brothers. It got worse after op married her husband from Europe and had children with him. But the person fueling the delusion was op and her sister’s mom.
Story 1 - OP is not the ah. The mistress/ second wife is the ah for messing around with a married man. Has he not been married with a kid the policy would have legally been for her kids. Hope the next time she messes with a married man she sets up a separate policy for her kids only.
Story 1. Op is NTA and basically everything that is happening to the mistress is her own fault now, because the mistress choose to be with already married man willingly, choose to be marry said man and have his kids also willingly , and think the money that's was already meant for op's daughter was her and her kids when the ex-garbage knew he couldn't legally do that without op's consent (because let's be honest, he already knew he couldn't do anything without op's consent, and probably thought he could sneak off and do it.) and thought she and her kids could walk away with it Scott free, when in reality the now passed ex-garbage was 100% in the wrong for violating the terms and conditions of a legal agreement with op, so no that money isn't rightfully her nor ever was so she can just suck it up and get over it because everything that is happening is the consequences of her own actions, and she shouldn't think she should be rewarded with another child's money anyway from the get go, that and if she tried to bother op's daughter now or when she is 18 op needs to nip it in the bud and tell her any type or form harassment towards will be met with legal actions, because I highly doubt a judge would listen to a women whine about a contact that was legally made before she even married said garbage let alone gave birth to her first child.
1) Husband went against a legal arrangement and OP did what she needed to do for her daughter's legal entitlement. NTA. X was the AH for not providing for his affair partner and their children, that is not OP's responsibility nor her daughter's. 2) That was very entitled of future SIL to get bent out of shape because she was not given a free ride for her BIL's property for her wedding, but BIL is really being nasty and sounds like a person totally lacking in any empathy or compassion in these circumstances of the impending death of his brother, for that YTA. 3) OP has the right to have whoever she wants walk her down the aisle, step-dad's behavior about this shows why she is making the right choice not to give him that honor. NTA. It is good OP refused his money that wanted to use as a manipulation tactic. He is being selfish and obnoxious. 4) Jenny sounds like a pain and I do not blame OP for telling her off when she was so insulting and nasty. That woman needs therapy and that was a necessity long before OP came into the picture. NTA. After update: It is sad Jenny caused this rift and only harmed herself with her nasty behavior. 5) Don't dish it out if you can't take it. NTA. Step-sis was disappointed, unhappy, jealous, and spiteful. OP needs to ignore any future unwarranted digs, and protect herself from anything underhanded sis might try to sabotage applications & acceptance letters.
Thing is, OP of story 1 seems like a stable enough person and a caring enough mother to have maybe been willing to help work something out for the other two kids with EX if he’d just, ya know, asked.
Jenny story had me sitting here like "WTF?" She thought that the family will choose HER over their own kids? She's so delulu, it's baffling. And to attack and belittle other women marrying into the family while claiming that SHE is the most important one? Seriously, get a restraining order, she's obsessed with the idea of being the chosen one, and that can get worse that verbal abuse really fast. And I recommend you keep her away from any children you have, because I won't put it past her to try swoop in as a "true mommy"
Story 2: OP is NOT the AH! SIL needs to get over her little tantrum and start thinking about her child. OP didn’t then and doesn’t now owe her anything, but he sure is trying to do right by the child, more than I can say about SIL.
Stpry 1: NTA 100% of that moneybwas ALWAYS her daughter's money. He tried to change that and givr his other kids some of it. Thatbwas wrong on his part. But only is OP in the right, but shebhad a duty to make sure her daughter got what was promised to her and isnt legally nor ethically allowed to give jt away even by inaction. Dad had the duty to the other kids mom does not
Story 1, the new wife gets the house etc so she can suck it up and there's no way she's broke, or that the insurance money would help her financially unless she wanted to dip into their trust funds.
*Oh no they don't want you around~~* But still want your crap 🤔 Explain? Explanations Please?? Guess what? You don't get stuff from people you aren't even on good terms with no matter what you do I'm not on OP's side but that's a dumb expectation
*"My wedding is not about you, Step-dad."* "My wedding, my choice on who walks me down the aisle. Your offering to pay is not without strings. If you pay, I have to l let you walk me down the aisle, right? I'll pass."
That last story made me want to cease to exist entirely. Kids treating B's like they're the devil make very anxious adults. And extra curriculars ARE important. ESH
OP said she does have extracurricular activities. The ones she described sound like student gov't, which WILL look good for college admissions. I guess the stepsister's ideas of activities are cheerleading, which is also good. SS is just ignoring that OP even has extracurricular activities, anything to make OP less deserving of being valedictorian. Of course,if OP weren't the valedictorian, there are 25 other students between OP and stepsister!
S2: What are these YTA voters smoking? Reddit White Knight brigade strikes again? Little princess felt entitled to OP's property, and held a decade-long grudge! She is most likely going to cut him off from Addison no matter what he does, so he may as well tell her exactly what he thinks of her! But be prepared to lose Addison unfortunately.
I would have had him write me a check so I can pay for everything. After it clears, tell him thanks but I am still not having him be the father of the bride
Story 1: NTA. A contract is a contract and this was an enforcable divorce agreement. The dead husband KNEW exactly what he was doing and counted on the OP being so full of pity she wouldn't call him out. He was wrong
Story 1 - OP NTA - OP your ex was a cheater to the end. First, he cheated on you with his mistress and at the end he tried to cheat HIS daughter out HER money. What a role model that AH was. As for the mistress, I mean wife, next time she starts her BS, tell her that she is taking her BS on the wrong person. If she wants to vent, she can go and piss on her husband's grave for being such a cheater and an AH. HE put HER and HER kids in that situation and NOT you. She needs to understand that the policy WAS NOT to be altered and/or changed because it was stipulated BY COURT ORDER and part of the divorce settlement. She needs to get over her BS. Maybe she can go and find herself another married AH and her problems will be solved. Story 2 - OP YTA - It seems that your BS with your SIL is because she comes from a family with money. Get over yourself and while you are at it GROW THE F UP! Story 3 - OP NTA - Remind your mother and HER husband that this is YOUR wedding and NOT a party for her husband to be the center of attention. Also, what does this AH being from a "conservative" family has to do with anything? Tell Mommy Dearest that if she chooses to stand with her husband and miss your wedding that it will BE her choice but NOT to expect for you to beg for her attendance. Lasty tell her that you will be very disappointed with her decision because you never expected her to miss such an important day in your life because she should know that DAUGHTERS and SONS come before any bed warmer AH that loves to throw temper tantrums when other people's celebrations are NOT centered around him. RME! Story 4 - OP NTA - Jenny needs to grow the F up and stop being such an AH. She shouldn't be dishing it if is not strong enough to take it. For those calling OP the AH, seriously? Come on people that AH has been spewing her BS for the last FIVE YEARS. It was time for OP to put her in her place. Waa poor Jenny gest a free pass to be a massive AH because of her "mental" health. Give me an effing break! Story 5 - OP NTA - OP is your mother really this dense? Your stepsister was being a sore miserable loser and mommy dearest thinks you are AH for defending yourself? Damn, that bed warmer of hers is either really good of she is afraid to upset him and his spawn. Mother of the year that one. OP DO NOT apologize because all you did is call a spade a space and you defended yourself. Screw mommy dearest. SHE can apologize if she wants. YUCK!
St 1 - NTA. The husband is 100% the idiot! When you divorce someone, you are court ordered to follow whatever was stipulated in your divorce agreement. He AGREED to having a $1 million dollar life insurance policy for his one child. He basically gave his daughters' inheritance to his other kids when he had no legal right to do so. What the father did was sneaky AF. He should have increased the policy.
On the insurance policy story: OP you are NTA. It was your ex husband’s responsibility to provide for any additional children. That was not and is not your responsibility. The money from the insurance policy was intended to provide for your daughter and your daughter only. You did the right thing. You have nothing to feel guilty about.
Jenny mouthing off. and so did op. both are in the wrong. but op is past due and that hurts full time. and is nerve wracking. so she gets more slack for this one. Jenny needs to stay in her lane and stop the road raging.
Story 1: NTA. The money was legally OP's daughter's. OP just advocated to ensure she got what was legally hers. OP's ex is an idiot for trying to share what he couldn't share instead of just making something else for the next two kids. And lets be honest, even if he had or OP had just let him steal what was supposed to be her daughter's money to give to the other kids... the widow comes off as the kind of person who absolutely would have spent every single penny of it before her kids got anywhere near the age of 18.
Story 1- Life insurance is not part of the deceased's estate. It is separate from that, so no matter what is in any will, there is no changing that (in the U.S.). The beneficiary was probably set in the divorce and as a condition of the divorce, since it sounds like the mistress/new wife was pregnant when the divorce happened and Op was looking out for her daughter. Go Op! Op's ex was just lazy and cheap and thought he would get away with just putting the other two names on the policy to appease his shiny new wife. Sucks to be the new wife, but the bish already got everything else, assuming the ex wasn't mortgaged to the hilt and actually had very little in liquid assets. One can only hope.
Uncle to Addison. OP should just shut up. He is going to lose any contact with Addison when his bro passes on. If I were OP's SIL I would see to it that OP has no relationship with my son, ever not just because I didn't like him but because I would never trust what OP is telling my son about me. No one needs a snake in the grass souring relationships based on their prejudices.
I don't see a problem with slamming someone with their abandonment issues if they want to use it against you, saying all "They will choose me over you." If you think you can win, you should be prepared to lose. Ain't it funny the step-sister was talking about how colleges want students like her and not Op, but she's also complaining about how she isnt like Op. If colleges want you then why are you mad? Lol
Story 2, NTA- it's a wedding venue- and all OP ask is pay for its use like ANY property owner because? He isn't rich- and there are utilities and other cost so he can't just give away use of the place for free. It's not like OP's brother and SIL are poor. If the brother understand, I think OP didn't ask for insane amount of fee anyway. Also, a decade long grudge? OP must be holding back a lot like... lady, get over you not getting a wedding venue for free. Your husband and OP's brother is DYING- your son will lost his father soon. Honestly, who the hell can respect SIL, if she didn't grow up? Just be civil and do what's best for your son.
Carly is a mess. She starts off with rude as heck expectations of a free site for her elaborate wedding and holds a grudge. OP has no reason to think highly of Carly, there’s not one thing that stands out to mention. Did Carly apologize for being a pig about her desired venue/OP’s house? All these people saying OP is the AH are forgetting that Carly is the one who has been a pig towards OP and not the other way around. And if Carly holds her child hostage and keep uncle away she’s a monster. She deserves to be spoken about in a harsh way because she’s indefensible and piggishly entitled.
The last story is so sad. You have two young individuals, who are in the top 10% of their class, arguing over who’s the best. While I don’t blame OP, she has a right to defend herself, I do wonder why there is so much animosity. The step sister has issues that should to be addressed before she attends college.
Story 2: ESH she is in the wrong assuming she would get a venue for free and not have to pay and being rude about it and still holding a grudge about it the OP is in the wrong for being Rude your brother is dying its not the time nor the place and yes ultimately that is her son but if she lets this grudge take over and not allow her son to see his uncle its gonna be worse for her and he may or may not want to see her again
1st story nta the fault is op's ex for going behind op's back and against the divorce agreement when he secretly split the insurance with his other kids instead of finding another way to leave them money. The mistress has no right to complain/blame op for being broke since the money was only meant for her daught and no one else, any way instead galsighting op she should get a job so she'll have money to take care of her children.
Story 4: Umm…why is ANYONE being sympathetic to this woman in the comments? Op’s husband MOVED OUT AT 17 because of her…this woman has also treated Op like absolute crap for years…havin a troubled past isnt an excuse to treat everyone like crap. Op is NTA and this woman is just terrible…
wedding settings. vs. helping young male grow up. one wedding was way before the birth of son. two. so the MOM still has bad feelings over all that. the mom will not allow uncle to see boy after Dad dies. why? pettiness.
Original: "Also I don't want both granddad and stepdad to do the walk/dance." Your Version: "Also, I don't want my granddad and stepdad to do the walk or dance." Okay, the use of "or" for the slash is fine, but the original phrasing, while perhaps not as clear as it should be, was meant to emphasize that OP doesn't want to share the walk/dance between both people (granddad and stepdad), just to have it for one (granddad, as established earlier in the anecdote). By switching from "both" to just "my", your version omits the emphasis, slight as it was, and makes it sound like OP doesn't want granddad to do these things either -- contradicting the main story. OP definitely wants granddad, *not* stepdad, to be the one honored with the father's role in the ceremony, both walking her down the aisle and having the father/daughter dance. A. "I don't want to eat both pie and cake (just one or the other)." B. "I don't want to eat pie and cake (I don't want to eat either one)."
Story 1: NTA. What about the rest of his assets? Home, car and anything else. His wife would've gotten that. She had no right to the life insurance end of story.
Not to mention, if they live in the US, they are ALL (even OP and her daughter) eligible for monthly survivor's benefits based on the deceased earnings. Granted it wouldn't be a million dollars, but it's better than nothing. Emma must be bitching because she didn't get the windfall she thought she would.
She’s just being a greedy child who thinks she should get all the other kids birthday gifts
She probably did get all of those. She was probably just hoping to grab 2/3 of her stepdaughter's inheritance, too, and say it was for her children.
It does suck for the other kids, but if it was part of a Legal agreement....
He SHOULD have set up something for lis new family.
Yes. She theoretically should have gotten his entire estate, including everything in his bank account. The fact is, he made an agreement and the law is the law. OP was perfectly within her rights to make sure that the agreement that he made is upheld, and the court evidently agreed. If those kids didn’t get anything, and I honestly feel bad for them, that’s on the ex-husband for not preparing anything for them, not on OP. She didn’t do it for selfish reasons, either. The money isn’t hers. It’s her daughter’s. OP can’t exactly use it for personal reasons.
For the life of me, I will never understand Reddit’s mentality that it’s wrong to strike back to idiots. Like seriously do they expect all people to just take abuse because that’s the mature thing to do? Every human has their breaking point and Op just gave that Jenny girl a taste of her own medicine.
Seriously why is it wrong to clap back out someone who’s done nothing but great insult you?
It's crazy. The supposed victim has been attacking everyone and trying to pass it off as a joke. What is wrong with the parents and sister that they put this girl above a son that only made a mistake of dating, then breaking up with someone years ago? And even though it sounds like the parents sided with OP this time, why didn't they set Jenny straight? She is an adult. She should have better self control at this point. And if she is bold enough to dish it out, who cares if she can't take it? Where is it written that a victim has to stay a victim and not fight back? OP and her husband need to go low contact if they can't get this girl under better control. And the sister can eff off.
Alright we're supposed to understand Jenny because she has trauma but completely ignore the fact that o p was 2 days past her due date and in a high-stress situation so if you can't blame Jenny for her trauma related actions you can't blame op for her hormonal ones.
Because they're on Reddit and 9 times out of 10 they're also the ones stirring shyte and putting themselves in the position they're the ones getting clapback. Obviously when one of their own gets pushback they run to defend a fellow moron.
And as horrible as it may be, sometimes you have to get down to someone’s level in order to make them understand. Jenny needs to move on in every aspect. Has she even dated since she and Jake ended things?
If your gonna go as low as the person your dealing with you throw away the moral high ground and open yourself up to people thinking your a piece of shit. You can’t go low and be the good person, and that’s coming from someone that absolutely fucking revels in being cruel to someone when they fuckin deserve it.
S1: Huge NTA. OP doesn't owe her late husband's mistress or her affair children squat. She was right to lawyer up. Mistress shouldn't have bred with a married man, and he should have made other legitimate arrangements for his illegitimate kids. Not OP's problem.
I hope OP helps her daughter every way possible because I’m betting one of the next steps will be stepmom pestering OPs daughter when 18 to share her trust with her siblings
The audacity of affair partners.
@@Azulakayes I agree 💯, as if it wasn't bad enough to be with a married man and ruin a marriage but try to take the money that wasn't her's to begin with. It's sickening.
@@lorilancaster5917 I can't think of a single reason why OP should have any contact with the mistress at all.
@@DrownedInExileshe does so only because her daughter is still involved in her half siblings lives.
Op I love the fact he made it clear to Carly that he is not going to kiss her butt the way the other men in her life.
I'm guessing OP is the only man in Carly's life who ever dared to say "no" to her? No wonder she's holding a grudge after a decade!
What makes you think he has any part in Carly's life once bro is gone? He doesn't get to decide that.
@@duckeh1952 She's going to cut OP off from Addison no matter what he does. So he might as well tell the brat exactly what he thinks of her! She can explain to her kid why her favourite uncle isn't there anymore.
@@duckeh1952 depending where they are if op has proof of the close relationship with his nephew then he can go to court and force the issue
@@duckeh1952 the grandparents sure as hell will have a right to be and he can visit through them.
Jenny story: Throwing someones trauma back at them is perfectly valid when that trauma is their rationale for constantly harassing you. Dont start nothing, wont be nothing.
Story 2: so people assume OP speaks that way to his SIL for no reason? I'm sure she's earned it by acting entitled. And if the uncle is already heavily involved in his nephew's life and his brother wants him to continue that role why would anyone want to go against his wishes?
We're only going by the BIL side & what he THINKS is the SIL issue is with him. To be honest, he comes as one of those defensive insecure ppl who thinks rich people are looking down on him so he acts like a asshole first. And no, SIL doesn't need him. He ain't gonna talk to her any type of way and have access to HER kid
@@geminiblueStop with the misandrist copy pasta. You’re a bot. Get out of your echo chamber and go touch grass. 🌱
It does not matter why he speaks to her this way. That's not his kid. If he wants to be there he shouldn't speak to her like that. He's an uncle. He won't have any rights to that kid but as a mother she has thr right to not have him around her kid. He isn't thinking.
@@justinenicole3926and you have nothing to say about the wife going against her dead husband’s wishes and her ignoring that the son has a great relationship with the child.
And you don’t care that she was so damn entitled it would make any reasonable person sick?
What story did you hear? It seems you missed important details
OP, just get your parents to start spending a lot of time with your nephew. When your brother passes, have them file fgor grandparents rights/visitations. Then you spend time wirh nephew during their visits with him. Skip interacting with Carly.
Story 2, NTA, what is with all this comments?. Carly is most likely spoiled, and OP is just not getting too deep into the story; but if he think he is like a second dad to his nephew and his nephew reciprocates, that means that keeping OP away would most likely hurt the little guy big time, and Carly needs to face reality and what is best for the boy.
He likely IS like a second dad if the actual father is asking him to take his place as much as he can when he’s gone. That’s not something you trust to just anyone. So yeah, she’s majorly in the wrong. She’s so butt hurt about something hat happened 10 years ago (something that was honestly her own doing, anyway) that she’s willing to not only make her son go through the grief of losing his father, but also of ripping his uncle away. I would get the father to write his final wish in front of a lawyer and try to get visitation rights to the boy. Or push the parents to get grandparents rights. This woman will mess that poor kid up. My mom put her hatred over my father above what was right for me and boy, did that do a number on me.
The divorce was 6 years ago and the ex has a 6 year old with the widow. Tells a lot without saying a lot
Well, you can't blame her for trying. At least she seems to be caring enough not to bring this discussion up in front of the kids.
You can blame her for trying. She is complaining SHE is broke, so it’s not about getting anything for the kids. She wishes she had the money to spend.
#1: "The insurance policy was meant for my kid, not your kids. He went against the divorce agreement."
Story 1: NTA. OP had a legally binding document regarding the husband's life insurance. He KNEW he couldn't add beneficiaries to it but likely did so on the assumption OP wouldn't fight it because kids. The new wife/kids would have received any other inheritance (and debt) he had accrued during her marriage to him.
Story 2: NTA. You aren't owed a free wedding venue because family. By renting the property out OP would have at least some insurance/funds to cover any damages occurred because of said wedding. Carly just didn't like being told no. OP's brother came to understand, accept, and drop the situation and their relationship continued with little issue to the point brother is asking OP to be an active part of and role model for his nephew. Carly's attitude is what will screw that up as she'll likely do what she can to keep OP away from his nephew after his brother passes.
Story 3: NTA. OP's wedding, OP's decision. She wants her Grandfather to walk her down the aisle and act in place of her missing father so that's that. Stepdad only offered to pay for the wedding after she'd already saved/planned it out and was only doing it to force OP into giving him the role he wanted.
Story 4: NTA. Jenny needed to be put back in her place and only OP had the balls to do it. Good on her. OP's 100% right that she isn't going anywhere and her place is only solidifying while Jenny's is waning. Honestly the best thing the family could do is realize how toxic Jenny is and separate themselves from her. She's not a lost child anymore, she's a grown adult who's long overdue for a wakeup call.
Story 5: NTA. Don't sling if you can't take getting hit yourself. OP has worked hard to earn the position of Valedictorian. Stepsis is just a jealous twit who'd rather try to pull OP down than work on pulling herself up while she still has the opportunity to. She could be taking tutoring sessions to help raise that grade if vying for the top 20 is that important to her.
Story 1: Don't forget that Emma is a homewrecking mistress so even OP not engaging with her is very mature. I am petty, I would ask her if that was her plan all along, to steal my daughter's money as she was opening her legs for a married man...too bad so sad.
The fact they said it’s tradition for the father to walk the bride down the aisle so by that logic he can’t walk op either because he’s not her biological father
Story 1, NTA. So typical for the mistress turned wife to be hateful of op because she didn't get the money she wanted. I wouldn't be surprised if she knew about the agreement and still thought she could get the money and the agreement meant nothing. So she hates and is jealous of op for six years after the money was granted to the original kid and repeatedly keeps trying to play "woe is me" card to guilt op. I bet it pisses her off more that op doesn't entertain her guilt tripping. It was stupidity on her and the ex husband to try to take the money from his bio kid and give to her and her kids. After six years it's just pathetic and shows how much she's disliked op to keep trying to guilt trip op.
The mistress has the audacity to try to steal from OP's daughter...she can f**k all the way off.
@@Azulakayes exactly 💯, it's obvious that she's hated op and I wouldn't be surprised if she was jealous of op for being the ex husband's wife instead of her.
1. The ex should have opened a separate policy for his other kids or each child.
Story 1: I would eyeroll too! She doesn’t care about her own kids as she is complaining she is broke. She would spend every cent of her kids life insurance since she already wishes she has the money instead of it truly going to her kids.
Definitely shows when she’s trying to guilt OP about her expenses and not her kids needs. I wonder if OP can get the court involved where she doesn’t have to encounter the wife at all when bringing her daughter over? Maybe get counseling for her daughter make sure the wife isn’t guilty or manipulating her?
Story 1: OP is NTA. The ex wasn’t allowed to make changes to the policy via court judgement. The ex could have increased the policy to cover his other two kids.
Story #2: NTA!! Why are these armchair Dr. Phil wanna be's saying that you are! Your SIL thought she was entitled to YOUR PROPERTY!! She'll get over it!
...and why he thinks he is entitled a role of father figure? Thinks he has any say how sil will run her family and what kind of role op has if bro passes?
Right? Reddit White Knight brigade strikes again. Though it's been a decade, she clearly isn't going to get over someone daring to say "no" to her.
@@DerekScottBlandand let’s also brush past the fact that OP is already active in Addisons life. Nope! OP is the meany because he told Carly no and she’s the one holding it against him since!
@@duckeh1952 The brother asked him to be in his son's life as much as possible after he dies
She probably is over it.
Story 4: NTA, but Jenny is insane. You may have been a bit rude, but after years of constant disrespect that is completely understandable. Your SIl-In-Law needs to stop inviting her around whenever you are going to be present, if this girl is this unstable.
I’m glad FMIL and FFIL see this or else I would be hoping Jake goes NC again
Jenny needs to get over herself and get therapy.
Jenny would probably benefit from DBT (dialectical behavioural therapy)
So glad everyone in family (except sister) is on the same page about Jenny. Somewhere down the road this sister is gonna regret missing out on a lot of family events by siding with Jenny. Jenny sounds very manipulative about going to a dark place tyo get her way, well at least it only works with sister. Bet she tried this tactic with her family but it didn't work.
Ex girlfriend story: NTA, but Jenny SERIOUSLY NEEDS to her crap together!! She NEEDS intensive therapy, a long vacation alone, and to move away from the only town she's EVER REALLY KNOWN!!! Jenny needs to get her own life away from her ex AND his family!! However I SERIOUSLY suspect that she'll be kicked out sooner rather than later because of her behavior towards op and her children!! The moment she says or does something terrible towards one of the grandkids, which she will GUARANTEED, op's inlaws will probably drop her like a hot rock, except maybe the sister!!!
Jenny would probably benefit from DBT (dialectical behavioural therapy)
@@damien678And a restraining order if she keeps this craziness up.
S2: NTA. If these people are still holding a grudge because OP didn't give them permission into use a piece of property he owns, I'd argue they are the idiots, not him!
It’s not that. It’s the way he spoke to her and basically degraded her because her dad has money. You’re glossing over how he talks to her and treats her.
@@femboy__bunny And you're glossing over how somebody can hold a grudge because somebody said no. What happened to no means no?
@@femboy__bunny Nonsense. He told her off for being an entitled brat, rightly so.
@@jacearmor5274op thinks she's holding a grudge but looks like sil doesn't like him because he is - and always has been ah to her. And not meaning him saying they need to pay was ah. He really thinks he can bark sil orders how to run her life snd family.
Did you even read the last part he said to her? He seriously thinks he gets to decide the role in kid's life.
"I M not your husband or dad"
..yeah and he isn't kid's dad either. He doesn't get to decide, he is not charge of Carly or his nephew. And will not be if bro passes despite he thinks he will be.
@@duckeh1952 He's not the husband or dad. And he rightfully told her so
_"Okay. The Stepdad, I will honor your desire and tradition to pay for our wedding. But The Grandad is _*_STILL_*_ going to be walking me down the aisle. You still on-board wif dat?"_
She could still take his money if that's what gets him jazzed, but *still* keep to her convictions.
Problem is though if he pays, he’ll likely want to pay the vendors and others directly so that if OP protests something, he can easily cancel his payments without OP having objections. It’s better for OP to take nothing from him.
@@lorilancaster5917 The Happy Couple could make it clear that if he were to do that, they'd go The Nuuuculer Option, ie, total NC, never ever to see any grandkids, etc.
And preemptively call all the vendors, the venue, etc., with explicit notes that if there's any attempt to cancel anything, let The Happy Couple know and they'll make good where The Stepdad wouldn't. Things go ahead without a hitch, and The Nuuuculer Option is still on the table, only now The Stepdad (and any others who get in the way) are now uninvited.
Op’s ex had the option of raising their insurance to include his other children also op is not using the money since it’s in a trust meaning ex’s new wife wants to use the money had it been left to her kids. She can file for survivor benefits for her kids.
Does anyone else enjoy the narrators voice?😊
Story 1: NTA, he violated the terms of the divorce settlement. If he wanted those kids to get something he should have gotten a separate policy or at minimum upped the policy to $3 million so each girl got $1 million.
But they're not his children so there should be a father somewhere with a policy covering them and child support too.
@@lsmith992 They are his children, as they are half-sisters to the OP's daughter.
@@lsmith992these were his children with his affair partner. The first was born right when he got divorced which means he left his family for his pregnant AP and married her.
S4-Jenny asked for it and clearly she couldn’t handle it.
Jenny can dish it but can't take it. She is a charity case. She should have exited that family gracefully when she became an adult and maintained a respectful distance. The fact is that they would never choose her over their grandchildren so by her insulting OP, she was setting herself up for failure. Lots of people have traumatic childhoods, what they don't do is act immature when they are adults.
Since when has it been bad luck to pay for your own wedding? IME couples that pay for their own weddings have their crap together and tend to have a better start to their marriage.
The stepdad was looking for any excuse to get control over OP and her wedding
@@nancyomalley6286A Despicable and bald faced attempt at that! It's like he ran back in the room and said "I know I know why don't you let me pay for the whole shooting match!" He's the kind of guy that will be pulling for Gramps to kick before the wedding day.
Okay how do people find ways to bring misogyny into EVERY conversation!? Sometimes people are just aholes.
Most of them don’t even know what the word means.
In the second story. The OP isn't the arsehole. The sister-in-law is, as she is clearly still holding a grudge about not being able to use the OP's property for their wedding.
And I’m willing to bet he was one of the first people to tell her no without having daddy or someone else make him change his tune.
@@lorilancaster5917we're only going by the BIL side & what he THINKS is the SIL issue is with him. To be honest, he comes as one of those defensive insecure ppl who thinks rich people are looking down on him so he acts like a asshole first. And no, SIL doesn't need him. He ain't gonna talk to her any type of way and have access to HER kid
@@geminiblueOh, he will. Brother can put it writing that OP gets some visitation rights. The princess can go pout in her ivory tower. 😂
@@Aurummorituritha doesn't stand in most courts unless mum is found lacking
@@Aurummorituri a uncle getting visitation when the princess comes from a WEALTHY family 😂😂. Good luck with that
"Sister" story. Anyone saying YTA are Jenny's in real life. They expect people to tiptoe around them because of their "trauma". You're all pathetic. Way to go OP.
Agree
Story 2 NTA. WOW. A round of applause for OP for putting that spoiled princess in her place. Rich, but won’t pay up for using your property and holds a grudge for a decade? Wow. His brother and her husband is dying, but she is still picking fights. Pathetic. Good on OP for being real. 😊
The fact that he’s speaking to her like that while her husband is dying says more about him than it does her asshole
He talks crap about his nephew's soon to be only parent. Uncles don't have rights. After his brother dies he won't see that kid. He's dumb as a rock.
From the sound of the way the insurance trust works, the new wife wouldn't be able to tap into it to pay HER bills, only the kids. Too bad, so sad, she can't sponge off the kids' inheritance. The stepsister is delusional to think her poor ranking will improve her chances of a good school if she sabotages her sister.
And the mom scolded the wrong child. Contrary to what stepsister said, college admissions look more into what OP brings to the table. It also sounds like OP is more well rounded than stepsister believes. If OP can put in the time and effort to have her rank at school, so can she. I like how one commenter said that stepsister should use her time in her room having a tantrum to study instead.
@@lorilancaster5917 You're mixing two stories there with it.
The insurance one is separate from the step sister freaking out there because OP worked harder there. OP was doing AP classes...only thing better are the ones that also give college credit or the split time and take actual college courses ones but not every school offers those options.
And the step sister isn't doing that badly there in the first place...27 out of 520 isn't a bad thing, especially if there's a lot of competition for top 20
@@AzraelThanatosboth stories were mentioned and I chose to comment on only one.
Arguably she would to a limited degree be able to tap into a trust (if her kids had one). Basic living expenses for the children for example could be partially paid for out of the trust. It exists to basically act as the fathers income, so it should cover 50% of all child centered expenses.
The fact that the trust is setup how it is however means it would take a court order to split it currently regardless of the OP's wishes, and no court would grant that order from the sounds of how its setup. Now OP'a daughter upon turning 18/21 (whatever age/conditions are required for the trust to pay out to her) could split what's left, but that's her choice only.
Story 3: NTA, your wedding, your choice of who (if anyone) fills the role of father of the bride.
Oh and a "gift" with stings attached (other than an engagement ring), is no gift at all.
Which OP saw right through. Wished she pointed that out to him. If I were petty, which I am, I would make sure that stepdad was at guest level as much as possible. Doesn’t have a seat with OPs mom. Doesn’t get to sit by his wife at the front during the ceremony. Hell! At this point why should he even be invited? If the mom refuses to go in protest then so be it.
Why would they attend the wedding? I see it as a reason to go nc with a daughter
@@hydrahq8676 Any parent who would not go to their child's wedding, over something as trivial as her wanting her paternal grand-father to fill in for her deceased father, is a horrible parent.
The step-father has exactly zero right to expect the honor of filling in. He can be disappointed by the second her starts harassing her the way he did he is an AH.
@@maurer3d but it was the daughter who decided he is not her father first
@@hydrahq8676 He isn't her father, he is her step-father.
Jenny: NTA. You don't have to care about or tiptoe around the childhood trauma of the person insulting you. You don't have to be nice to the person calling you a slut.
All the YTA'S want OPS to be doormats and punching bags for the abusers
I love the fact that the mistress in the first story is complaining to OP that she's broke.
Like the money was for the kids.
Even if she did get the 2/3 for her kids it wouldn't have helped her since IT'S FOR THE KIDS AND NOT HER.
So she would still be broke
Story 2: I don't have an issue with what you said, yes harsh BUT she will refuse you having contact so you need to take your own advice & get over it.
But if OP bites his tongue and lets Carly treat him like crap, Addison will pick up on that. "Mommy knows best, no one ever says no to mommy." Diplomacy yes, but OP can't let her hold him hostage for the kid's sake. Be prepared to let him go.
Nah, if she tries, just get mom and dad to get grandparents rights and visit through them.
Story 5: NTA, so you have to let step-sister ruin your weekend, but can't return the favor? If your sister wanted to be in the top 20 she should have worked harder. It isn't "gaming the system" to take harder courses that are worth more if you do well (at the same time if you take those courses and do poorly you get a bigger GPA reduction.
I don't get mom, so stepsister was allowed to be mean to op but when op claps back she is to harsh? lets hope mom keep the stepsisters room because she might come back after the first year of college
OP tell Mom, people who live in glass houses shouldn't cast the first stone. She'll know what it means. I agree with person who recommended a PO Box and passwords on everything. I recall another story where someone missed out on a scholarship to their dream college because a jealous family member accessed their email and replied that they decline accepting it. No way (Too late) to get it back once they found out.
“Lack of respect and decency” … are you kidding. She does sound like a princess lol
2nd Story- This is a clear NTA. We have seen stories, time after time, of 'family' trashing a location they chose for a venue and didnt pay for damages because xyz and people telling the op to 'get it in writing'
Guess what- this OP did just that and showed he wasn't a fool. His brother getting over it and the SIL not says more about her than him, and the fact he played a close role with their son says even more about his.
His brother is battling cancer and let me tell you- that eats up money like there is no tomorrow, and OP's brother knew it, its why he trusted him. That baby boy's future is more inportant than SIL's ego, so she needs to get herself in line, because the only one that has the resources to help is the person she is burning bridges with.
So y’all think it’s okay for him to talk to her like that? It sounds like OP has a chip on his shoulder over his SIL having wealth in her family, and treats her like garbage when his brother isn’t there and justifies it with something that happened a decade ago.
Hope his ego keeps him company when his SIL doesn’t let her son be around him
@@femboy__bunny He was trying to be polite at first, she just didn't want polite.
@@femboy__bunny given that he had wealth himself, what would he have a chip for? I am not mocking by the way, dont mistske my tone, I actually wanna know your arguement.
@@femboy__bunnySo he makes a snap comment because sister kept pushing him to use his property after he said no (and where does that come off as having an issue with her being rich if anything it's an issue with her being entitled). And that's a big assumption of you to think op treats her like garbage on one comment, which could have been said in frustration.
@@femboy__bunnyyou can not have such a bad take with that user name and profile picture. That’s just, wow.
NTA affair partners and their kids are owed nothing from anyone but their parents
I would have been confused as to why the new widow was speaking to me 😂
What passes me off is the wife is like I am so broke and then you took assets away from my kids to me that says the money would probally be gone before the kids could use it
17:37 LOL. Love ya XO, but next time you see that word, it's not meant to be "favorite". It's an acronym. "FAFO" stands for "Fuck Around and Find Out". Hugs!
I'm surprised at the number of YTA comment on story 2. If she had been holding a grudge for 7 years based on that incident, telling her to 'grow up' seems pretty mild.
It's not often you can cut two young kids out of a life insurance payout and be right...But, yeah. The policy was for his daughter with OP.
HE should have set up a 2nd policy.
OP1, NTA. That money belongs to her DAUGHTER. Not her. If she had let it go, then she would be committing a crime.
Haha, I love how the narrator turns "FAFO" into "favorite"
Story 4. When they go low, GO LOWER 🗣️💯 ironically enough, jenny is doing the thing she fears and that's on her and that there is hilarious.
Story 4: NTA. Jenny has abandonment issues, but she’s the way she is because partly because of Jake’s sister. I’m gonna call the sister “Sarah”. Sarah continues to enable Jenny’s behavior when even her own parents are tired of it and the other siblings are adamant that they’re not standing up for Jenny no matter what Sarah does. It’s possible that Sarah also is upset with Jake for dumping jenny and has some weird fantasy in her head where Jake and Jenny are married and then they’re sisters for real. Some people may think I’m reaching, but I’d like to bring up the story about that one op who’s sister tried to force her back with her ex all because she dreamed of both her and her sister marrying both brothers. It got worse after op married her husband from Europe and had children with him. But the person fueling the delusion was op and her sister’s mom.
Agree “Sarah” is keeping up Jenny mental issues
😂😂😂 Story 1 NTA
That money was for your daughter ONLY. Oh well.
Story 1: NTA Ex probably never told his wife about the divorce agreement and counted on OP would be too tender hearted to do anything about it.
Story 1 - OP is not the ah. The mistress/ second wife is the ah for messing around with a married man. Has he not been married with a kid the policy would have legally been for her kids. Hope the next time she messes with a married man she sets up a separate policy for her kids only.
The Jenny story damn the clap back was so hard I find it deafening. Love a good story. Jenny is not a charity case she a fruit basket.
The new wife doesn;t realize that the money would go into a trust and she;d still be broke..
I'm thankful for the variety of topics you cover on your channel.
Step sis never to learned to lose. College is going to be a shock.
Story 1- good for you op. The second wife always tries to out the bio kids.
Last story, wow the jealousy and bitterness from step sis is palpable
Story 1. Op is NTA and basically everything that is happening to the mistress is her own fault now, because the mistress choose to be with already married man willingly, choose to be marry said man and have his kids also willingly , and think the money that's was already meant for op's daughter was her and her kids when the ex-garbage knew he couldn't legally do that without op's consent (because let's be honest, he already knew he couldn't do anything without op's consent, and probably thought he could sneak off and do it.) and thought she and her kids could walk away with it Scott free, when in reality the now passed ex-garbage was 100% in the wrong for violating the terms and conditions of a legal agreement with op, so no that money isn't rightfully her nor ever was so she can just suck it up and get over it because everything that is happening is the consequences of her own actions, and she shouldn't think she should be rewarded with another child's money anyway from the get go, that and if she tried to bother op's daughter now or when she is 18 op needs to nip it in the bud and tell her any type or form harassment towards will be met with legal actions, because I highly doubt a judge would listen to a women whine about a contact that was legally made before she even married said garbage let alone gave birth to her first child.
It’s bad luck… to pay for your own wedding 😂😂😂😂
Right? Who invented that nonsense? Only someone who’s trying to use their money to get their own way.
Yeah, I've never heard that claim. The stepdad must've pulled it out of somewhere smelly.
to me it sounds like bad luck to have stepdad and mom at her wedding XD
@@BruinPhD2009 To quote Christoph Waltz-"That's a Bingo!"
1) Husband went against a legal arrangement and OP did what she needed to do for her daughter's legal entitlement. NTA. X was the AH for not providing for his affair partner and their children, that is not OP's responsibility nor her daughter's.
2) That was very entitled of future SIL to get bent out of shape because she was not given a free ride for her BIL's property for her wedding, but BIL is really being nasty and sounds like a person totally lacking in any empathy or compassion in these circumstances of the impending death of his brother, for that YTA.
3) OP has the right to have whoever she wants walk her down the aisle, step-dad's behavior about this shows why she is making the right choice not to give him that honor. NTA. It is good OP refused his money that wanted to use as a manipulation tactic. He is being selfish and obnoxious.
4) Jenny sounds like a pain and I do not blame OP for telling her off when she was so insulting and nasty. That woman needs therapy and that was a necessity long before OP came into the picture. NTA.
After update: It is sad Jenny caused this rift and only harmed herself with her nasty behavior.
5) Don't dish it out if you can't take it. NTA. Step-sis was disappointed, unhappy, jealous, and spiteful. OP needs to ignore any future unwarranted digs, and protect herself from anything underhanded sis might try to sabotage applications & acceptance letters.
Thing is, OP of story 1 seems like a stable enough person and a caring enough mother to have maybe been willing to help work something out for the other two kids with EX if he’d just, ya know, asked.
I once told a Coworker that the only reason he was there was because his mom was doing the boss. That's like Forest Gump getting into regular school.
Gosh...tis indeed the f**k around and find out season where absolutely no chills are given 😂
Story one: NTA the loser ex husband knew what was in the divorce decree. He should have taken out a separate policy for his two other children.
Your daughter’s dad violated a court agreement. He could have taken out a separate, even higher, policy for them.
Jenny story had me sitting here like "WTF?"
She thought that the family will choose HER over their own kids? She's so delulu, it's baffling. And to attack and belittle other women marrying into the family while claiming that SHE is the most important one? Seriously, get a restraining order, she's obsessed with the idea of being the chosen one, and that can get worse that verbal abuse really fast. And I recommend you keep her away from any children you have, because I won't put it past her to try swoop in as a "true mommy"
Story 2:
OP is NOT the AH! SIL needs to get over her little tantrum and start thinking about her child. OP didn’t then and doesn’t now owe her anything, but he sure is trying to do right by the child, more than I can say about SIL.
Stpry 1: NTA 100% of that moneybwas ALWAYS her daughter's money. He tried to change that and givr his other kids some of it. Thatbwas wrong on his part. But only is OP in the right, but shebhad a duty to make sure her daughter got what was promised to her and isnt legally nor ethically allowed to give jt away even by inaction.
Dad had the duty to the other kids mom does not
Story 1, the new wife gets the house etc so she can suck it up and there's no way she's broke, or that the insurance money would help her financially unless she wanted to dip into their trust funds.
New video. Thank you so much!
*Oh no they don't want you around~~* But still want your crap 🤔 Explain? Explanations Please?? Guess what? You don't get stuff from people you aren't even on good terms with no matter what you do
I'm not on OP's side but that's a dumb expectation
*"My wedding is not about you, Step-dad."*
"My wedding, my choice on who walks me down the aisle.
Your offering to pay is not without strings. If you pay, I have to l let you walk me down the aisle, right? I'll pass."
That last story made me want to cease to exist entirely. Kids treating B's like they're the devil make very anxious adults. And extra curriculars ARE important. ESH
OP said she does have extracurricular activities. The ones she described sound like student gov't, which WILL look good for college admissions. I guess the stepsister's ideas of activities are cheerleading, which is also good. SS is just ignoring that OP even has extracurricular activities, anything to make OP less deserving of being valedictorian. Of course,if OP weren't the valedictorian, there are 25 other students between OP and stepsister!
S2: What are these YTA voters smoking? Reddit White Knight brigade strikes again? Little princess felt entitled to OP's property, and held a decade-long grudge! She is most likely going to cut him off from Addison no matter what he does, so he may as well tell her exactly what he thinks of her! But be prepared to lose Addison unfortunately.
Story 3: I would ban stepdad and mother from the wedding.
I would have had him write me a check so I can pay for everything. After it clears, tell him thanks but I am still not having him be the father of the bride
Story 1: NTA. A contract is a contract and this was an enforcable divorce agreement. The dead husband KNEW exactly what he was doing and counted on the OP being so full of pity she wouldn't call him out. He was wrong
Jenny might wanna stop talking shit.
Story 1- did t the new wife get the house and everything?
Story 2, no love lost, lest trouble for me.
Story 1 - OP NTA - OP your ex was a cheater to the end. First, he cheated on you with his mistress and at the end he tried to cheat HIS daughter out HER money. What a role model that AH was. As for the mistress, I mean wife, next time she starts her BS, tell her that she is taking her BS on the wrong person. If she wants to vent, she can go and piss on her husband's grave for being such a cheater and an AH. HE put HER and HER kids in that situation and NOT you. She needs to understand that the policy WAS NOT to be altered and/or changed because it was stipulated BY COURT ORDER and part of the divorce settlement. She needs to get over her BS. Maybe she can go and find herself another married AH and her problems will be solved.
Story 2 - OP YTA - It seems that your BS with your SIL is because she comes from a family with money. Get over yourself and while you are at it GROW THE F UP!
Story 3 - OP NTA - Remind your mother and HER husband that this is YOUR wedding and NOT a party for her husband to be the center of attention. Also, what does this AH being from a "conservative" family has to do with anything? Tell Mommy Dearest that if she chooses to stand with her husband and miss your wedding that it will BE her choice but NOT to expect for you to beg for her attendance. Lasty tell her that you will be very disappointed with her decision because you never expected her to miss such an important day in your life because she should know that DAUGHTERS and SONS come before any bed warmer AH that loves to throw temper tantrums when other people's celebrations are NOT centered around him. RME!
Story 4 - OP NTA - Jenny needs to grow the F up and stop being such an AH. She shouldn't be dishing it if is not strong enough to take it. For those calling OP the AH, seriously? Come on people that AH has been spewing her BS for the last FIVE YEARS. It was time for OP to put her in her place. Waa poor Jenny gest a free pass to be a massive AH because of her "mental" health. Give me an effing break!
Story 5 - OP NTA - OP is your mother really this dense? Your stepsister was being a sore miserable loser and mommy dearest thinks you are AH for defending yourself? Damn, that bed warmer of hers is either really good of she is afraid to upset him and his spawn. Mother of the year that one. OP DO NOT apologize because all you did is call a spade a space and you defended yourself. Screw mommy dearest. SHE can apologize if she wants. YUCK!
St 1 - NTA. The husband is 100% the idiot! When you divorce someone, you are court ordered to follow whatever was stipulated in your divorce agreement. He AGREED to having a $1 million dollar life insurance policy for his one child. He basically gave his daughters' inheritance to his other kids when he had no legal right to do so. What the father did was sneaky AF. He should have increased the policy.
On the insurance policy story: OP you are NTA. It was your ex husband’s responsibility to provide for any additional children. That was not and is not your responsibility. The money from the insurance policy was intended to provide for your daughter and your daughter only. You did the right thing. You have nothing to feel guilty about.
A million dollar policy is not that expensive unless he was in very poor health
S3- NTA. This wedding isn’t about your mom or stepdad.
so stepdad wants a role huh? put him in the men's bathroom at the venue as the toilet guy, it will be very important and he is out of sight
Jenny mouthing off. and so did op. both are in the wrong. but op is past due and that hurts full time. and is nerve wracking. so she gets more slack for this one. Jenny needs to stay in her lane and stop the road raging.
Story 1: NTA. The money was legally OP's daughter's. OP just advocated to ensure she got what was legally hers. OP's ex is an idiot for trying to share what he couldn't share instead of just making something else for the next two kids. And lets be honest, even if he had or OP had just let him steal what was supposed to be her daughter's money to give to the other kids... the widow comes off as the kind of person who absolutely would have spent every single penny of it before her kids got anywhere near the age of 18.
Story 1- Life insurance is not part of the deceased's estate. It is separate from that, so no matter what is in any will, there is no changing that (in the U.S.). The beneficiary was probably set in the divorce and as a condition of the divorce, since it sounds like the mistress/new wife was pregnant when the divorce happened and Op was looking out for her daughter. Go Op!
Op's ex was just lazy and cheap and thought he would get away with just putting the other two names on the policy to appease his shiny new wife. Sucks to be the new wife, but the bish already got everything else, assuming the ex wasn't mortgaged to the hilt and actually had very little in liquid assets. One can only hope.
Uncle to Addison. OP should just shut up. He is going to lose any contact with Addison when his bro passes on. If I were OP's SIL I would see to it that OP has no relationship with my son, ever not just because I didn't like him but because I would never trust what OP is telling my son about me. No one needs a snake in the grass souring relationships based on their prejudices.
I don't see a problem with slamming someone with their abandonment issues if they want to use it against you, saying all "They will choose me over you."
If you think you can win, you should be prepared to lose.
Ain't it funny the step-sister was talking about how colleges want students like her and not Op, but she's also complaining about how she isnt like Op.
If colleges want you then why are you mad? Lol
The stepsister is jealous, selfish, and vindictive. She wants OP to not do well, out of spite!
Story 1: NTA. Dude could have gotten a separate policy for his whooah's kids instead of leaving it to said whooah to steal from OP's child.
Story 2, NTA- it's a wedding venue- and all OP ask is pay for its use like ANY property owner because? He isn't rich- and there are utilities and other cost so he can't just give away use of the place for free. It's not like OP's brother and SIL are poor. If the brother understand, I think OP didn't ask for insane amount of fee anyway.
Also, a decade long grudge? OP must be holding back a lot like... lady, get over you not getting a wedding venue for free. Your husband and OP's brother is DYING- your son will lost his father soon.
Honestly, who the hell can respect SIL, if she didn't grow up? Just be civil and do what's best for your son.
Carly is a mess. She starts off with rude as heck expectations of a free site for her elaborate wedding and holds a grudge.
OP has no reason to think highly of Carly, there’s not one thing that stands out to mention.
Did Carly apologize for being a pig about her desired venue/OP’s house?
All these people saying OP is the AH are forgetting that Carly is the one who has been a pig towards OP and not the other way around.
And if Carly holds her child hostage and keep uncle away she’s a monster.
She deserves to be spoken about in a harsh way because she’s indefensible and piggishly entitled.
GDI Jenny got f**king murdered lol
Jenny would probably benefit from DBT (dialectical behavioural therapy)
The last story is so sad. You have two young individuals, who are in the top 10% of their class, arguing over who’s the best. While I don’t blame OP, she has a right to defend herself, I do wonder why there is so much animosity. The step sister has issues that should to be addressed before she attends college.
Maybe the stepsister used to go to another school before the parents got together, and in that school, the stepsister was the top student
Story 2: ESH she is in the wrong assuming she would get a venue for free and not have to pay and being rude about it and still holding a grudge about it the OP is in the wrong for being Rude your brother is dying its not the time nor the place and yes ultimately that is her son but if she lets this grudge take over and not allow her son to see his uncle its gonna be worse for her and he may or may not want to see her again
1st story nta the fault is op's ex for going behind op's back and against the divorce agreement when he secretly split the insurance with his other kids instead of finding another way to leave them money. The mistress has no right to complain/blame op for being broke since the money was only meant for her daught and no one else, any way instead galsighting op she should get a job so she'll have money to take care of her children.
Story 4: Umm…why is ANYONE being sympathetic to this woman in the comments?
Op’s husband MOVED OUT AT 17 because of her…this woman has also treated Op like absolute crap for years…havin a troubled past isnt an excuse to treat everyone like crap.
Op is NTA and this woman is just terrible…
wedding settings. vs. helping young male grow up. one wedding was way before the birth of son. two. so the MOM still has bad feelings over all that. the mom will not allow uncle to see boy after Dad dies. why? pettiness.
You should just say that she seems to be broke as her natural state of being
Original: "Also I don't want both granddad and stepdad to do the walk/dance."
Your Version: "Also, I don't want my granddad and stepdad to do the walk or dance."
Okay, the use of "or" for the slash is fine, but the original phrasing, while perhaps not as clear as it should be, was meant to emphasize that OP doesn't want to share the walk/dance between both people (granddad and stepdad), just to have it for one (granddad, as established earlier in the anecdote). By switching from "both" to just "my", your version omits the emphasis, slight as it was, and makes it sound like OP doesn't want granddad to do these things either -- contradicting the main story. OP definitely wants granddad, *not* stepdad, to be the one honored with the father's role in the ceremony, both walking her down the aisle and having the father/daughter dance.
A. "I don't want to eat both pie and cake (just one or the other)."
B. "I don't want to eat pie and cake (I don't want to eat either one)."
It’s hard to read the words with a light backdrop
I am tired of people saying you have to put up with peoples BS because of mental health...or their trama. that is not my problem.