Story 1, my mind did a record screech when i heard "Homeless on the streets of Winnipeg" I've lived in Winnipeg my whole life and there's about 1/3 of the city i will never go to day or night because of how unsafe it is, knife crime here is unreal, you are legit 7 times more likely to be stabbed than shot here and we've had the highest murder rate nation wide for over a decade. . Also, our winters are insanely cold, -30C. This is what her parents wanted her to endure so they could control her? good on OP for taking in this girl/.
Considering nearly every other one of these Reddit stories seems to be a stepsibling going to cartoonish lengths to ruin the others life, it's rather sweet that in this case the son asked his dad to help his stepsibling out entirely on his own initiative.
Let's ignore the lying about school and boil down the situation to its most basic form, a fully grown stable adult is helping out a newly legal adult because she has mental health problems and her parents would rather see her homeless because they think it would make her come running back to them. op not the ah. The parents sound narcissistic.
Narcissistic and abusive parents. I can't condone what stepdaughter did, but I get that her back was against the wall. OP needs to be a little guarded, and be prepared to pull the plug if necessary.
Let's tackle the fact that said adult first stole tens of thousands from her parents. Notice how OP omits where the tuition has gone? So, where has she spent the tuition money, huh? Pick one, drugs, gambling, or a shopping addiction. How much do you want to bet that we'll get a story from OP in a few months about how the ungrateful brat he took in stole from him?
@@phoenix211245 where did you get tens of thousands? IF it were you she would be in jail for stealing....oh wait, she did NOT steal the money, it was given freely but instead of using it for school due being burnt out on school, she used it for food and housing. What kind of tool are you to think you can steal something that was freely given? Her ONLY mistake was not informing her parents, tell me, how many of your kids did you make homeless? I think you read only to the part that you disagree with and then give your option, these thread are full of your BS. OP DID say where the money went, maybe listen to it again
S1: Huge NTA, and I hate that OP had to include a disclaimer that he wasn't looking to sleep with stepdaughter. He's a rockstar for keeping her from homelessness, and away from her abusive parents! He doesn't owe his ex wife or her new husband squat. They can eat concrete. That said, OP should be just a little wary of stepdaughter, since she lied and stole tuition money.
So, her parents are evil because they negatively reacted to their child stealing tens of thousands from them, but OP is a saint for giving shelter to a thief. Good to know.
@@akl2k7 So, people should take in and provide free housing for a thief as long as they are faaaaaaaaamily? The parents were very gracious already for not suing her and not going no contact. Yet they were willing to take her back in with conditions, when they would have been completely justified to say "you are on your own now, don't let the door hit you on the way out". And what has the said child spent the tuition money she stole on? Given the cost of colleges in the USA, she probably had finances to live easily over a year. Go on, give me your best guess.
SIL had an appt. to get her nails done but no one could make a call ahead of time to see if OP was willing to watch their kids? SIL, knowing her husband is worthless waits until her appt. and then has her husband ask OP to watch the kids? Their 3 kids under 5? Have these people never heard of birth control? Or learned how to use it properly? Too bad OP's brother can't be bothered to parent his children. It's disgusting that his mom and MIL make sure he never has to. And then they demand that OP jump on that train to continue their idiocy. All of these people are starring in the FAFO game and deserve every bit of what they get. Not OP's circus, not OP's monkeys.
Can we please stop acting like birth control is infallible, I'm a birth control baby, so is one of my brothers. I have cousins who also were. And I doubt we the only ones. Birth control fails, all the time.
@@smramos1979Condoms and birth control. My parents managed not to get pregnant with me until trying. 7 years and no accidents. It's called being responsible.
@@christinebenson518 still, even with that double method there is no way to avoid pregnancy 100%... plus...some cannot use hormonal means and couldn't handle/weren't candidates of a copper IUD. The only way to prevent 100% of pregnancy is abstinence or to get closer to a 100% is a well controlled permanent method (vasectomy, tube surgery) and even those can be in a small % reversed naturally and oh surprise, 10 years after the surgery a baby out of the blue if you do not keep getting check ups........ that's why whenever you are sleeping with someone you should discuss what would happen if there is an unexpected pregnancy since that's the risk you face no matter how much you will try to prevent it....
@@christinebenson518, but the only way to be 100% safe is no sex. Every other method, even if you do double up, leads to a non-zero chance of getting pregnant, no matter if you use them perfectly every time you use them
Story 1: does the ex and crap father not realize how dangerous being homeless is, especially for young women? I had a crap uncle try to pull the same stuff on me when I was 20 and I'm so glad that girl and I both had someone to help us out of that situation. Very few things are more evil than trying to control someone through the threat of homelessness
Shared room story: " she said her daughter would be upset if we didn't share a room." Yeah? And I'll be upset if we do. Why do her feelings trump mine? Dad needs to see this for the red flag that it is
Dad is an AH for marrying someone with 4 more kids. 6 in the house?! The Brady Bunch was fiction, people. With fiancee pushing for OP to the be the solution to her babysitting needs, oh heck no. You know once she gets a driver's license, OP will be asked to ferry the rest of them around. Thanks Dad, hope getting laid was worth losing your own children.
Story 3: OP's boyfriend is using weaponized incompetence. She should Tell him she is not his Mommy. Refuse sex until he starts to act like an adult. Tell him mother's don't have sex with their children.
My father had that mentality after my mother bought him out of his half of the house after the divorce. He was constantly saying that she should have had to pay him 50% of the increased value ever year until I turned 18!! It was so bloody ridiculous - especially after he refused to purchase two different houses we had rented in the same town where he could have gotten one heck of a return after the prices exploded in the 1980s.
My childhood best friends parents had a plan for their daughters car (that they gave her) would break down and she'd have no choice but to stop living with her boyfriend and move back in with them (aka get her back under their control), instead I got involved and her parents called mine and berated them for foiling their plans. They also pulled out her younger sister from highschool the moment they heard she was dating too.
This reminds me of my brother in law and his girlfriend. Her dad found out they were seeing each other so he took away her car, phone, computer, etc… pulled her and her sibling out of all sports and after school activities, and make her stay where they can see her at all times when she’s home including her sleeping in their room with them.
@@susanmontoya1194 OK, that is just beyond weird. And of course one day (via their magical thinking) she's supposed to be a virgin, get married and get on with life perfectly with absolutely no judgement or life experience.
@@user-wr3vt8uq4s The sad thing is is she is so under her parents thumb even when she turns 18 I don’t think she will go against them. It breaks my heart she is such a kind and sweet soul.
The first story: Being other than straight in Alberta isn't safe, the scary thought is that they want her to move back so that they could possibly "retrain" hero be normal... the Alberta Bible belt is strong there.
Story 4: so he wants you to talk to him as if he's a 2-year-old, but doesn't want you to treat him like a two year old? I grew up in a gender bias household but my brother still knew what clear the table meant, I feel like you're committing a crime staying with this guy. Tell him to go back to his mom since he's not ready to take care of himself while you find an actual adult.
And if I remember correctly. OP is 22 while the bf is 26. While that isn’t a huge age difference by any means, I’m betting this is the first bf OP has lived with. He’s likely thinking he can mold and manipulate OP into being his maid with benefits. Sounds like OP has shut that down.
Story 1: Do you know how desperate you have to become to lie about something that big, dropping out of university isn’t a small thing. She’s got to be pretty scared of her sperm donor and stepmonster to take it that far. Good for OP and his son for helping this girl out.
Last story: Okay so I have a sister who's only 3 years younger than me and I've shared a room with her for years since we were little. And we both hated so much, anyone that thinks sharing a room will make sibling closer has never shared a room. Being stuck with someone in the same space all the time just makes you get on each other's nerves, and when you have a fight you don't have somewhere to go cool off because your safe space is there's. That's why most people only share a room because they have to, so I can't imagine how much anger that's going to occur when you force a 15-year-old to share a room with a 7 year old. You try telling them you need your own space and privacy but they won't listen because SM for some reason thinks this is a good idea, up to the point you finally said what was on your mind. Tell your dad to stop letting his fiance peer pressure you and give you the space a 15-year-old needs.
I had 3 daughters, there was 3 years between the oldest and the youngest, their mom passed when the oldest was 8 so they came to live with me full time, for several years they had to share and they hated it, they fought a lot. The best things was when my oldest was able to get her own room, the other 2 liked sharing. but making a 15 year old share with a 7 year old step sister? not going to work
I had a twin, and had to share a room. It was a nightmare. Not only did she bully me at school but also at home. I could never get away from her. Each child needs their own room so they can have their own sanctuary.
I always share a room with my sisters, the oldest one moved to the guest room once my paternal grandmother die, then I share the room with my youngest sister until she move out, did we fight? sure, but most of the time we came to agreements regarding the room, of course the big difference was that we were 2 and 3 years apart and not 8! what the hell I would never share a room with someone that young!
She didn't lie. . . She's not able to feel comfortable telling the truth to her parents. No matter how hard it is your children should be able to tell their parents hard truths and mistakes
Story 3: tell your mom's sister that she probably be more upset her two of her kids are trying to con one of their siblings because they blew their inheritance and she was trying to help them. You gave them yours plus some of your life-saving to have that house, morally and legally you don't owe them a penny, which is probably why they didn't try to go to court because they no they aren't owed anything. If it hadn't been for you the house would have been gone already, and they wouldn't be entitled to the money if a stranger sold the house, so just because they know you doesn't mean they're old anything now.
The deed is is OPs name. It is 100% OPs property. She could have donated it to the fire department for a controlled burn if she wanted. She bought them out fair and square. Did they really think a house wouldn't increase in value?
Story 5: Definitely NOT the idiot. I almost ended up in a situation as a teen with mother's BF and his preteen daughter. Her dad just wanted to for me to be her full time, unpad cretaker (thankfully mother broke it off with him because he didn't want to work). I could imagine OP stepmother thought that OP would have to take care of her kids 24/07.
So father can't take care of his, but neither can the wife and the children require their grandparents to live. They need to stop reproducing if they can't parent.
Story 1: at first I got why they were doing this because any parent would be upset that their child lied to them like that. But apparently that's not why they cut her off, instead of understanding why she doesn't want to go to college they thought could force her to do it. College is not for anything and it can be very stressful, so to ignore your daughter's mental health is horrible. But it doesn't matter she's an adult you're an adult they don't get to make you do anything, and I'm glad at least you and your son about her since her parents don't.
I’m wondering if the parents were pushing and pushing her even while she was away at college? It seems like they wanted her to be the perfect daughter even if they have to break her to remold her. Glad that OPs looking after her and his son.
Story 2: I would feel bad for SIL if she didn't try to take her frustration out on you. Not wanting to babysit is a good enough reason, and just because your mom want to enable this lazy bum doesn't mean you have to. He shouldn't be looking for a babysitter to avoid taking care of his kids and letting his wife take 1 hour to herself, and instead of blowing up your phone for not enabling it she needs to grow a backbone and tell him to get his lazy ass up and spend time with his kids.
sounds to me mom and mil want a third parent around so they don't have to give up their Saturdays all the time because the brother does not want to be alone with the kids
My husband doesn't look after our 2 kids together for more than a quick trip out for me. But that's because the youngest is 4 months and breastfed. Once he's weaned I'm sure he will take both lol!
When people decided to married, have kids, it's not the responsibility of others to support them, your kids and your responsibility. Now please do not expect others to take care of they kids.
Story 1: NTA, but maybe the step sister should try community college. Only taking 1 or 2 classes at a time. It'll take longer for her to get degree but she could go at a pace that suits her for a MUCH cheaper price!!!
Story 4: NTA, but you need to kick this guy out, this is weaponized incompetence. His goal is for you to do everything, because he "doesn't know how to do anything".
Siblings are greedy and envious that OP is much better at money management than they are. If they need money, then they can sell the mazarati and the boat! Maybe next time, they'll learn to invest their money better!
Last story "Start as you mean to go on" Translates to step mom is trying to bull doze her wants on to the OP. If OP doesn't want this ti continue for the rest of her life she needs to keep a shiny spine from day 1.
Story 2 NTA OP is in no way shape or form responsible for that crap. Also, BOTH SIL and Brother are the idiots....it sounds like neither of them want to parent either if the grandparents are doing most of the work (if what OP said is true).
I really wish you would just say the ages. Pre tween isn't even a thing and it sounds like you could be saying preteen which isn't 7. 7 is middle childhood which is vastly different from a 15 year old teen. But a preteen could be 12 and if the 12 year old is about to be 13 and the 15 year old just turned 15 they could be pretty similar. The ages don't always matter as much but sometimes they make a HUGE difference and saying them doesn't hurt the child. It's an anonymous story and the ages won't out the children.
Story 2: You do not need an excuse to say 'no' when somebody asks you to do something you don't wish to do, particularly when that 'something' is a parent's responsibility and they'd simply prefer to push it onto somebody else because "faaammily!"
Wait… Babysitting story. Is that guy deathly afraid of children? Is that why he needs someone else to be with him whenever he is around his own kids? Because if that’s the case, or he hates children so much he can’t tolerate being around them alone, he shouldn’t be having kids. OP is definitely NTA and someone needs to tell 40 yr old brother to step up and learn how to be a parent to his own kids. Heaven’s forbid something happens to SIL or we’re going to end up getting a future Reddit post from one of his kids. And they will be asking if they are the AH for not accepting the the new wife he married right after their mom passed. All because he needed someone else to care for his kids, so he wouldn’t have to.
Story 1: tell them you can also calculate their share of taxes and upkeep towards the house . I had a family friend do this and her siblings got to split like 10k after the sale
Story 1 - OP NTA - While the lie was bad, your son's SS is AN ADULT. She doesn't need Daddy's permission to do with her life as she please. As for your EX she has ZERO say about who YOU chose to have in YOUR home. I graduated HS at 16 and took a year off because I didn't want to be around people older than me. LOL Did my mother throw a hissy fit? Nope, she supported me and a year later I started college. Your little man is amazing. You are doing a great job as a parent. Keep up the good work OP. Ignore the AHs. Story 2 - OP NTA - Why isn't YOUR brother taking care of his kids? I mean they are HIS and NOT yours. Why is SIL berating you when you have NOTHING to do with whatever BS mess she has going on with HER husband. OP, NOT YOUR CIRCUS, NOT YOUR MONKEYS. As for your mom, if it is NOT a big deal, why did SHE volunteer to take care of HER grandkids? Screw that noise and screw their sense of ENTITLEMENT. Story 3 - OP NTA, NTA, NTA - Your siblings are greedy ENTITLED AHs. Ask your siblings and the flying monkeys if they will be giving YOU money if the value of the house was less than what YOU LEGALY bought it for a few years back? Watch how fast they start with the 1001 excuses about why is not the same, blah, blah, blah. OP get an attorney to send them a letter of Cease and Desist. YOU OWE THEM NOTHING! Story 4 - OP NTA but you will be if you stay. You will be this AH's mommy. Good luck! Story5 - OP NTA - "My daughter will be upset if you say no, it will be a great bonding experience, blah, blah, blah". Is this woman for real? Is your father this blind? She is blatantly parading that HER kid's well-being and comfort ARE more important than those of HIS daughter and you father is NOT putting her stupid ass in HER place? OP tell your father that he is the one that needs to deal with the moron that he is choosing to marry.
Story 1 - Coming back crawling on your hands and knees, begging for forgiveness, and asking how she can repair things is a natural consequence of the daughter's actions. OP enabling her does nothing but makes sure that she will steal from him too.
@@phoenix211245how so? Op isn’t giving her money, in fact, it’s the opposite. I would suggest repaying the parents and having a therapy session about the whole situation.
@@vincentlucario5450 And how sure are you that she isn't going to actively steal from OP to feed whatever addiction she has? Going through the amount of money she stole in the time stated is kinda hard if you are just spending it on housing, food, and a bit of entertainment.
@@phoenix211245 for the same reason that you’re sure your neighbor isn’t going to kill you while you sleep. Trust and precautions. How much money? You seem to know the specific amount, including her budget, the rent, groceries, etc.
11:44 i needed this woman as my role model when I got together with my husband! I should have written down the mental load of planning and organizing all the chores.
Story 1 NTA, I think everyone can agree that the Ex’s stepdaughter shouldn’t have lied and pocket the money, but their plan was literally what ever happens to her, happens. Out of the three adults in this story Op is the only one being responsible
Hm, she was pocketing the money sent to her for tuition and living expenses. Can you guess how many thousands she stole? Her parents would have been NTA for cutting her out entirely.
Because dad should have shut his fiance and not allow her to keep insisting after op said no. Because people like fiance think they can bully minors to do what they want so it needs to be adult who tells them to stop.
My daughter will be upset. That’s NOT Ops responsibility to care for others feelings. The step mom is gonna force op to blend and make op miserable because she will call them step
1st story nta poor step daughter I can honestly see why she lied your ex and her husband are cruel controlling people they're willing to make her homeless to make her go back to college and rely on them is abuse, they're only mad at you cause you ruined their plan to control her, they don't care about her mental health only that she studies to get a good job that pays well so they can leech off of her, I can honestly see them doing that to her. Op your doing the step daughter a massive favour you taking her in saved her from her narcassitic parents from turning her into their puppet or her having a mental breakdown, keep protecting her and be ready to report themto the police if they try anything.
Story 1: in the end, the daughter is an adult as is OP. Anyone else has literally 0 to say about how a homeowner rents space or where a consenting informed adult chooses to live and work. Zero.
Hm, taking in a thief who stole tens of thousands from family, however distantly related, is an AH move. How about OP repays everything she stole first?
House sale story - OP NTA. His siblings are. Look at it this way. Back in the 90s we sold a house. We got $X for it. It is now worth three times, if not more, than what we sold it for. Do those morons think that the new owners should compensate me for their good luck? I got good money for it in the 90s. The sins in that story are morons.
S1: college isn't for everyone! For those who don't know Winnipeg has UNGODLY COLD WINTERS, I'm from North Dakota and we pretty much get same cold AF WINTERS.
Story 1.. The girl can always go to online college later if she wants.. many people do this because it’s more affordable and can be done at a pace she can probably handle better.. Story 2.. OP doesn’t owe the siblings anything ! The house was appraised and OP bought it on agreed price.. they each, by their reasoning, owe OP a third of all expenses he was out taxes and upkeep, etc.. Story 3.. OP BF is either deliberately being incompetent or IS totally incompetent.. either way , not worth the effort! Last story.. No, means no.. they should respect that..
Inkompetent husband story: easy fix. Write: "Check x, check y, check z" etc. on your list and Mark them as your tasks. Now hubby can do 50% of All the chores. See how he likes that.
If the woman in the first story had just lied about being in school then I would see nothing wrong with that, but she stole an entire years worth of tuition. She's an adult. She can get a job and get roommates. There is no excuse for stealing.
Story 4: OP should talk to her Dad and ask him to lower the hammer on his fiancee. Let stepmom know she has no authority over his children and is not to badger them. All requests are to go through him and that no means no.
And above all quash the obvious live in 24 hour babysitter fantasy that fiancee has brewing. Why do you think she’s filled her little girls head with this roomie stuff?
2. So they are mad a house ypu bought may now be worth more money. It is irrelevant your parents also owned this same house at one point, you purchased it. NTI.
If your plan involves someone going homeless, thinking they'll be *better* for the experience you're an *idiot* at best, and the deepest kind of vile more likely. Being homeless *fucks* with people. It's a trauma. And it's fucking cruel. And I can't' guarantee what the young adult in question would have done without someone helping her out, but based on experience I can say the possibilities include turning to substances to cope, couch surfing, car sleeping, shelters, and self-termination to name a few outcomes. It's one of the most basic human needs and wanting her deprived of it is fucked up past anything. There is no excuse. I hope the girl gets herself the help she needs and *never* speaks with those sad excuses of humans again.
Story 1: she stole thousands and thousands of dollars from her parents. OP isn’t TA to take her in(though he should be cautious) but they aren’t TA to cut her off either. She’s lucky they didn’t press charges
It does sound like she did it for a good reason given the plan was to force her back. Burn out doesn't occur for no small reason, so I can imagine mother dearest pushed her to the absolute limit.
The parents are lucky, that they are not living in Canada and not here. She could sue them for cutting her of (or could simply talk to the authorities and have them do it instead). They would 100% have to cover her cost of living until her 25. birthday. It is a legally binding obligation to do so. There are very few exceptions, basically being very poor yourself and criminal conduct like physically assault. Not informing them about classified medical information like her burnout and stoping to attend university due to an illness is certainly not enough. The only reason the parents would be able to stop paying in this case, would be her earning her own money, after she has moved in with her mothers ex and started to work.
She should talk to the college. They maybe could have let her defer her place. She could still do this at a local college living with op. It's incredibly dangerous to leave someone homeless and alone. School and college can be relentless without a break. Forcing her back too soon is not a good idea.
4:27 oh waahh SIL had to reschedule her nail appointment. Who's the immature one that can't schedule the appointment at a good time. Brother needs to learn to parent.
2. SIL should refrain from any babysitting agreements. 3. This is common when you buy out others of a shared property. They still entitles to it. It's best to sell it or make sure the contract specifies that they are not entitled to any sale proceeds should the house be put on sale at a later date.
1) NTA, OP was asked to help and did in a way that is truly good for this girl. He is right, she may go back to school at some point, but if not, she can still find her way in the world thanks to those who love and support her as she becomes independent. 2) No is a complete sentence and no explanation need be given. Last minute demands need not be met by someone who bears no responsibility for the situation. NTA. 3) The sibs got their share of the inheritance and are owed nothing more. OP invested, they spent theirs. NTA for not giving them the profit they do not deserve. OP should not give them a dime, should move and enjoy a good life without them, or any of the other idiots, in it. 4) OP, needs to realize she is parenting a child instead of having a partner. If he is going to continue to weaponize incompetence and behave in such an awful and controlling way it's time to realize he needs to be sent back to his mommy. NTA unless OP stays with this guy. 5) NTA. I hope OP's dad realizes he should not marry this woman who has zero care for his child and won't take no for an answer. The fiancee has created this problem by giving false expectations to her daughter and trying to pressure and guilt OP.
Story 1: NTA, manipulating a young adult to get her to do what they want, is the grossest parenting technique ever. She is having a mental health crisis, and needs help, and no tot be homeless.
Story 2: Why should OP give up having a relaxing day with her partner so that the SIL can get her nails done? Why didn’t the SIL ask her husband to look after his children while she went out? The women in the family should stop enabling the brother😒 Story 3: OP, do your siblings not understand how this works? When you gave them money for their shares of the house, the house no longer belonged to them!😠 Story 4: OP, you need to stop living with this guy if he continues to act as if he’s stupid when it comes to household chores😠 Story 5: While it’s cute that the seven year old wants to share a room with her stepsister, I understand why OP, a teenager, doesn’t want to share a room with a little girl😒
Story 1. Parents have a right to cut her off and let her figure it out but they can't get mad at how she managed to work it out. Would they be like this if the daughter was taken in by a friend or do they really want her to become homeless?
3nd story: you all think that Opie is not an idiot and she is because of the fact that she set this up to a loud herself to be used as the babysitter. And now it's more of an expectation instead of hey can you help out. And then the brother and his wife expects it and she runs over there to do it. So this whole family is screwed up and to be honest they don't need children because if you're so bent on trying to throw your children off on everybody else but yourself you don't need kids, even his wife that needed to get her nails done. And if she's a stay-at-home mom then she needs to figure it out how she's going to get her nails done with three small children because if the husband is working full-time than her being a stay-at-home mom is what she supposed to do and she also needs to figure it out. And I don't know where you all get there's a break when you have kids ain't no such s*** if you don't want to take care of your children you don't have them let me say that again if you don't want to take care of the children that you decided to lay up and have and want to find them off on some other people you should not have had children and maybe you need to give them up.
You didn't need to go help him because he had to be a parent for 2 hours, his wife didn't need to cancel her nail appointment because he had to be a parent for 2 hours. Everybody else in your life can stop pretending like it's at all reasonable that a grown man needs help being a parent for 2 hours. I was a stay at home father for five years. If you're not a complete waste of oxygen it's one of the easiest tasks on earth.
I wonder when we're going to start accepting that sending 18-year-olds off to go to University and having them go from being children to adults with adult responsibilities overnight isn't all that reasonable? I too crashed and burned when I had to start college and I was living at home with a supportive family. I wasn't ready to finish my education for a decade while I recovered from those years. Thing is, if it was just me than I'd say it's an anomaly. Unfortunately, the same thing happened at an alarming rate among other kids I knew. All of us had mental health problems; some of us turned to illicit substances to deal with them. I feel like it can't be a coincidence that these health issues only became apparent when we were put into a high-pressure environment with responsibilities that were much larger than anything we'd ever dealt before. At 17 I had to go to a pediatrician and my mom had to sign off on the doctor listening to my chest with a stethoscope. At 18 I was legally saddled with a mountain of debt that would affect my life for the next 20+ years. I'm starting to be more surprised when I see a kid thrive at college rather than struggle.
& why can’t your brother man up & parent his own children? You said sil isn’t much better. Btw: getting nails done usually takes more than two hours. Depending on the type of manicure it can take four hours.
Weaponized incompetence... Go to a week on/ week off schedule. Make a video on how things are, and verify it's done that way. He needs to learn to take care of himself
@@DrownedInExile Ok, could she, or couldn't she have asked for help and options when she decided to drop out? Even from OP, as she did? Yet she decided to lie to her parents and steal their money. Assuming it is in the USA, it's probably in the tens of thousands of dollars range, as tuition is usually paid upfront, which she pocketed, and her parents were sending money for living expenses. WHAT DID SHE SPEND THAT MONEY ON? Only two options come to mind, drugs or gambling. I know that my parents would have told me "you are on your own now", if I did that. The fact that they were willing to take her back at all and try to help in whichever imperfect way they manage is already a surprising point in their book.
Story 1 Kids who drop out of college and steal their parents money are going to come with a lot of problems. Taking her in is really going to not be fun for you. You'll end up kicking her out sooner rather than later, no matter what her parents did for her
Or maybe she will go to therapy and try to figure out what is wrong with her and learn how to deal with it and then get her life back on track. I'm generally a complete pessimist and have zero Hope For Humanity but every once in awhile I try to give people the benefit of the doubt.
That's too pessimistic. She clearly has abusive parents. I don't condone what she did, but it's easy to be righteous when you aren't in the trenches. But I do think OP should be a little cautious of her, be prepared to pull the plug if needed.
This is not going to go well for the man. She is going to pull so much crap on him. He is actually an idiot for taking her in the more I think about it.
@@simshengvue5799 can things go wrong? Absolutely. Are there any signs that it could go wrong other than she dropped out of school due to it being too much pressure on her Mental Health and was trying to live life until her parents wanted her to be homeless so she would crawl back to them? No!
Let me adjust your comment for you, stable adult helping out his son's stepsister who is a newly legal adult with mental health issues because her parents would rather see her homeless then succeed... there I fixed it for you
Story 1, my mind did a record screech when i heard "Homeless on the streets of Winnipeg" I've lived in Winnipeg my whole life and there's about 1/3 of the city i will never go to day or night because of how unsafe it is, knife crime here is unreal, you are legit 7 times more likely to be stabbed than shot here and we've had the highest murder rate nation wide for over a decade. . Also, our winters are insanely cold, -30C. This is what her parents wanted her to endure so they could control her?
good on OP for taking in this girl/.
Considering nearly every other one of these Reddit stories seems to be a stepsibling going to cartoonish lengths to ruin the others life, it's rather sweet that in this case the son asked his dad to help his stepsibling out entirely on his own initiative.
I thought that was nice.And he's quite young isn't he? 15 I think. A caring young man!
Let's ignore the lying about school and boil down the situation to its most basic form, a fully grown stable adult is helping out a newly legal adult because she has mental health problems and her parents would rather see her homeless because they think it would make her come running back to them. op not the ah. The parents sound narcissistic.
Narcissistic and abusive parents. I can't condone what stepdaughter did, but I get that her back was against the wall. OP needs to be a little guarded, and be prepared to pull the plug if necessary.
Abusive my ass. They budgeted for her to go to college and not be a worthless bum. They did their job as parents.
Or even: an adult has another unrelated adult in their house renting a room from them as a tenant. There, it's even less the parents' business.
Let's tackle the fact that said adult first stole tens of thousands from her parents. Notice how OP omits where the tuition has gone? So, where has she spent the tuition money, huh? Pick one, drugs, gambling, or a shopping addiction.
How much do you want to bet that we'll get a story from OP in a few months about how the ungrateful brat he took in stole from him?
@@phoenix211245 where did you get tens of thousands? IF it were you she would be in jail for stealing....oh wait, she did NOT steal the money, it was given freely but instead of using it for school due being burnt out on school, she used it for food and housing. What kind of tool are you to think you can steal something that was freely given? Her ONLY mistake was not informing her parents, tell me, how many of your kids did you make homeless? I think you read only to the part that you disagree with and then give your option, these thread are full of your BS. OP DID say where the money went, maybe listen to it again
S1: Huge NTA, and I hate that OP had to include a disclaimer that he wasn't looking to sleep with stepdaughter. He's a rockstar for keeping her from homelessness, and away from her abusive parents! He doesn't owe his ex wife or her new husband squat. They can eat concrete. That said, OP should be just a little wary of stepdaughter, since she lied and stole tuition money.
Yeah, it stinks that OP had to say it, but a lot of Redditors have been watching too much of that "step- " corn.
@@diarradunlap9337she’s not his stepdaughter and never was. She’s his exwife’s new husbands daughter. His ex-wife’s stepdaughter.
So, her parents are evil because they negatively reacted to their child stealing tens of thousands from them, but OP is a saint for giving shelter to a thief. Good to know.
@@phoenix211245 They're not evil for that. They're evil for wanting their child homeless.
@@akl2k7 So, people should take in and provide free housing for a thief as long as they are faaaaaaaaamily? The parents were very gracious already for not suing her and not going no contact. Yet they were willing to take her back in with conditions, when they would have been completely justified to say "you are on your own now, don't let the door hit you on the way out".
And what has the said child spent the tuition money she stole on? Given the cost of colleges in the USA, she probably had finances to live easily over a year. Go on, give me your best guess.
_"If you make me share a room with The Sister, trust me, _*_she_*_ will regret it. Don't say I didn't warn you."_
SIL had an appt. to get her nails done but no one could make a call ahead of time to see if OP was willing to watch their kids? SIL, knowing her husband is worthless waits until her appt. and then has her husband ask OP to watch the kids? Their 3 kids under 5? Have these people never heard of birth control? Or learned how to use it properly?
Too bad OP's brother can't be bothered to parent his children. It's disgusting that his mom and MIL make sure he never has to. And then they demand that OP jump on that train to continue their idiocy.
All of these people are starring in the FAFO game and deserve every bit of what they get.
Not OP's circus, not OP's monkeys.
Can we please stop acting like birth control is infallible, I'm a birth control baby, so is one of my brothers. I have cousins who also were. And I doubt we the only ones. Birth control fails, all the time.
Let’s also not forget that OP has never babysat for her brother so why should she now?
@@smramos1979Condoms and birth control. My parents managed not to get pregnant with me until trying. 7 years and no accidents. It's called being responsible.
@@christinebenson518 still, even with that double method there is no way to avoid pregnancy 100%... plus...some cannot use hormonal means and couldn't handle/weren't candidates of a copper IUD. The only way to prevent 100% of pregnancy is abstinence or to get closer to a 100% is a well controlled permanent method (vasectomy, tube surgery) and even those can be in a small % reversed naturally and oh surprise, 10 years after the surgery a baby out of the blue if you do not keep getting check ups........ that's why whenever you are sleeping with someone you should discuss what would happen if there is an unexpected pregnancy since that's the risk you face no matter how much you will try to prevent it....
@@christinebenson518, but the only way to be 100% safe is no sex. Every other method, even if you do double up, leads to a non-zero chance of getting pregnant, no matter if you use them perfectly every time you use them
Story #1: when you do terrible things to “teach them a lesson,” they will learn a different lesson. Namely, that life is better off without you.
She should at least lay her parents back for all the money she stole.
Story 1: does the ex and crap father not realize how dangerous being homeless is, especially for young women? I had a crap uncle try to pull the same stuff on me when I was 20 and I'm so glad that girl and I both had someone to help us out of that situation. Very few things are more evil than trying to control someone through the threat of homelessness
Who had the fun creating the kids? That's who should care for them.
Story 2: NTA, unless he had an emergency, he is perfectly capable of parenting his 3 kids alone for a few hours.
Shared room story: " she said her daughter would be upset if we didn't share a room."
Yeah? And I'll be upset if we do. Why do her feelings trump mine?
Dad needs to see this for the red flag that it is
sounds like fiancee wants op to be the babysitter, her brother is nearly out of the house but she can squeeze 4 years of free childcare out of op
@Mewse1203 and you just KNOW it's the step mom who is driving (pretend to be upset if she doesn't want to share) bus for the 7 year old
Dad is an AH for marrying someone with 4 more kids. 6 in the house?! The Brady Bunch was fiction, people. With fiancee pushing for OP to the be the solution to her babysitting needs, oh heck no. You know once she gets a driver's license, OP will be asked to ferry the rest of them around. Thanks Dad, hope getting laid was worth losing your own children.
Story 1: Notice how the edit he had to defend himself becuase reddit tries to turn him into a predator for trying to help her.
Story 3: OP's boyfriend is using weaponized incompetence. She should Tell him she is not his Mommy. Refuse sex until he starts to act like an adult. Tell him mother's don't have sex with their children.
It's not going to resolve anything tho. He will not change, it will go back to same. She needs to drop him.
@duckeh1952 Yeah. I laughed when she said "I want this relationship to continue..." 😂 You really want to keep dating this man-child?
My father had that mentality after my mother bought him out of his half of the house after the divorce. He was constantly saying that she should have had to pay him 50% of the increased value ever year until I turned 18!! It was so bloody ridiculous - especially after he refused to purchase two different houses we had rented in the same town where he could have gotten one heck of a return after the prices exploded in the 1980s.
I hate entitled people who believe you have to drop everything at anytime just to pervide them with free childcare.😱🤷🏽♀️🥴
My childhood best friends parents had a plan for their daughters car (that they gave her) would break down and she'd have no choice but to stop living with her boyfriend and move back in with them (aka get her back under their control), instead I got involved and her parents called mine and berated them for foiling their plans.
They also pulled out her younger sister from highschool the moment they heard she was dating too.
This reminds me of my brother in law and his girlfriend. Her dad found out they were seeing each other so he took away her car, phone, computer, etc… pulled her and her sibling out of all sports and after school activities, and make her stay where they can see her at all times when she’s home including her sleeping in their room with them.
@@susanmontoya1194 OK, that is just beyond weird. And of course one day (via their magical thinking) she's supposed to be a virgin, get married and get on with life perfectly with absolutely no judgement or life experience.
@@user-wr3vt8uq4s The sad thing is is she is so under her parents thumb even when she turns 18 I don’t think she will go against them. It breaks my heart she is such a kind and sweet soul.
The first story: Being other than straight in Alberta isn't safe, the scary thought is that they want her to move back so that they could possibly "retrain" hero be normal... the Alberta Bible belt is strong there.
Story 4: so he wants you to talk to him as if he's a 2-year-old, but doesn't want you to treat him like a two year old? I grew up in a gender bias household but my brother still knew what clear the table meant, I feel like you're committing a crime staying with this guy. Tell him to go back to his mom since he's not ready to take care of himself while you find an actual adult.
And if I remember correctly. OP is 22 while the bf is 26. While that isn’t a huge age difference by any means, I’m betting this is the first bf OP has lived with. He’s likely thinking he can mold and manipulate OP into being his maid with benefits. Sounds like OP has shut that down.
Last Story: NTA!! Your dad's fiancee wants you to be a free babysitter!!
Story 1:
Do you know how desperate you have to become to lie about something that big, dropping out of university isn’t a small thing. She’s got to be pretty scared of her sperm donor and stepmonster to take it that far. Good for OP and his son for helping this girl out.
Last story: Okay so I have a sister who's only 3 years younger than me and I've shared a room with her for years since we were little. And we both hated so much, anyone that thinks sharing a room will make sibling closer has never shared a room. Being stuck with someone in the same space all the time just makes you get on each other's nerves, and when you have a fight you don't have somewhere to go cool off because your safe space is there's. That's why most people only share a room because they have to, so I can't imagine how much anger that's going to occur when you force a 15-year-old to share a room with a 7 year old. You try telling them you need your own space and privacy but they won't listen because SM for some reason thinks this is a good idea, up to the point you finally said what was on your mind. Tell your dad to stop letting his fiance peer pressure you and give you the space a 15-year-old needs.
I had 3 daughters, there was 3 years between the oldest and the youngest, their mom passed when the oldest was 8 so they came to live with me full time, for several years they had to share and they hated it, they fought a lot. The best things was when my oldest was able to get her own room, the other 2 liked sharing. but making a 15 year old share with a 7 year old step sister? not going to work
I had a twin, and had to share a room. It was a nightmare. Not only did she bully me at school but also at home. I could never get away from her. Each child needs their own room so they can have their own sanctuary.
I always share a room with my sisters, the oldest one moved to the guest room once my paternal grandmother die, then I share the room with my youngest sister until she move out, did we fight? sure, but most of the time we came to agreements regarding the room, of course the big difference was that we were 2 and 3 years apart and not 8! what the hell I would never share a room with someone that young!
Give them nothing, they got their fair share, so tell them to kick rocks!!
She didn't lie. . . She's not able to feel comfortable telling the truth to her parents. No matter how hard it is your children should be able to tell their parents hard truths and mistakes
Had the siblings sold mom’s house to strangers they would have been crap out of luck if those ppl sold.
Story 3: tell your mom's sister that she probably be more upset her two of her kids are trying to con one of their siblings because they blew their inheritance and she was trying to help them. You gave them yours plus some of your life-saving to have that house, morally and legally you don't owe them a penny, which is probably why they didn't try to go to court because they no they aren't owed anything. If it hadn't been for you the house would have been gone already, and they wouldn't be entitled to the money if a stranger sold the house, so just because they know you doesn't mean they're old anything now.
Exactly! Low blow on her end to play the dead parent card.
As an Aussie, I had an immediate reaction to call bs on this. You owe them nothing
The deed is is OPs name. It is 100% OPs property. She could have donated it to the fire department for a controlled burn if she wanted.
She bought them out fair and square. Did they really think a house wouldn't increase in value?
Story 5: Definitely NOT the idiot. I almost ended up in a situation as a teen with mother's BF and his preteen daughter. Her dad just wanted to for me to be her full time, unpad cretaker (thankfully mother broke it off with him because he didn't want to work). I could imagine OP stepmother thought that OP would have to take care of her kids 24/07.
So father can't take care of his, but neither can the wife and the children require their grandparents to live. They need to stop reproducing if they can't parent.
Oh, you can bet that the “father” refers to any few small minutes caring for his own children as “babysitting”.
@@mikaq19 could say the same for the mother when it's the grandparents are the ones who do everything.
Story 1: at first I got why they were doing this because any parent would be upset that their child lied to them like that. But apparently that's not why they cut her off, instead of understanding why she doesn't want to go to college they thought could force her to do it. College is not for anything and it can be very stressful, so to ignore your daughter's mental health is horrible. But it doesn't matter she's an adult you're an adult they don't get to make you do anything, and I'm glad at least you and your son about her since her parents don't.
I’m wondering if the parents were pushing and pushing her even while she was away at college? It seems like they wanted her to be the perfect daughter even if they have to break her to remold her. Glad that OPs looking after her and his son.
Also, they wanted her to be homeless in Winnipeg, I live there. Its a horrible place to live if you are homeless or low income.
I wonder if it is really 100% about college. The girl is not into boys and rural Alberta seems like a rather conservative place ...
NTA! OP’s son sounds like a compassionate kid!
NTA! Don’t have kids if you can’t raise them.
Story 2: I would feel bad for SIL if she didn't try to take her frustration out on you. Not wanting to babysit is a good enough reason, and just because your mom want to enable this lazy bum doesn't mean you have to. He shouldn't be looking for a babysitter to avoid taking care of his kids and letting his wife take 1 hour to herself, and instead of blowing up your phone for not enabling it she needs to grow a backbone and tell him to get his lazy ass up and spend time with his kids.
sounds to me mom and mil want a third parent around so they don't have to give up their Saturdays all the time because the brother does not want to be alone with the kids
My husband doesn't look after our 2 kids together for more than a quick trip out for me. But that's because the youngest is 4 months and breastfed. Once he's weaned I'm sure he will take both lol!
STORY OF HOUSE SALE:. As we say in my country "'don' t give them a blind cent."
When people decided to married, have kids, it's not the responsibility of others to support them, your kids and your responsibility.
Now please do not expect others to take care of they kids.
Story 1: NTA, but maybe the step sister should try community college. Only taking 1 or 2 classes at a time. It'll take longer for her to get degree but she could go at a pace that suits her for a MUCH cheaper price!!!
Story 4: NTA, but you need to kick this guy out, this is weaponized incompetence. His goal is for you to do everything, because he "doesn't know how to do anything".
Story 3: NTA, it is your home you paid for, and any increase in value is your money, not theirs.
Siblings are greedy and envious that OP is much better at money management than they are. If they need money, then they can sell the mazarati and the boat! Maybe next time, they'll learn to invest their money better!
Many young adults aren't ready for college straight out of high school but give them a year or two, and they excell.
Last story "Start as you mean to go on" Translates to step mom is trying to bull doze her wants on to the OP. If OP doesn't want this ti continue for the rest of her life she needs to keep a shiny spine from day 1.
Story 2 NTA OP is in no way shape or form responsible for that crap. Also, BOTH SIL and Brother are the idiots....it sounds like neither of them want to parent either if the grandparents are doing most of the work (if what OP said is true).
I really wish you would just say the ages. Pre tween isn't even a thing and it sounds like you could be saying preteen which isn't 7. 7 is middle childhood which is vastly different from a 15 year old teen. But a preteen could be 12 and if the 12 year old is about to be 13 and the 15 year old just turned 15 they could be pretty similar. The ages don't always matter as much but sometimes they make a HUGE difference and saying them doesn't hurt the child. It's an anonymous story and the ages won't out the children.
Story 2: You do not need an excuse to say 'no' when somebody asks you to do something you don't wish to do, particularly when that 'something' is a parent's responsibility and they'd simply prefer to push it onto somebody else because "faaammily!"
Wait… Babysitting story. Is that guy deathly afraid of children? Is that why he needs someone else to be with him whenever he is around his own kids? Because if that’s the case, or he hates children so much he can’t tolerate being around them alone, he shouldn’t be having kids.
OP is definitely NTA and someone needs to tell 40 yr old brother to step up and learn how to be a parent to his own kids.
Heaven’s forbid something happens to SIL or we’re going to end up getting a future Reddit post from one of his kids. And they will be asking if they are the AH for not accepting the the new wife he married right after their mom passed. All because he needed someone else to care for his kids, so he wouldn’t have to.
Story 1: tell them you can also calculate their share of taxes and upkeep towards the house . I had a family friend do this and her siblings got to split like 10k after the sale
Story 1 - OP NTA - While the lie was bad, your son's SS is AN ADULT. She doesn't need Daddy's permission to do with her life as she please. As for your EX she has ZERO say about who YOU chose to have in YOUR home. I graduated HS at 16 and took a year off because I didn't want to be around people older than me. LOL Did my mother throw a hissy fit? Nope, she supported me and a year later I started college. Your little man is amazing. You are doing a great job as a parent. Keep up the good work OP. Ignore the AHs.
Story 2 - OP NTA - Why isn't YOUR brother taking care of his kids? I mean they are HIS and NOT yours. Why is SIL berating you when you have NOTHING to do with whatever BS mess she has going on with HER husband. OP, NOT YOUR CIRCUS, NOT YOUR MONKEYS. As for your mom, if it is NOT a big deal, why did SHE volunteer to take care of HER grandkids? Screw that noise and screw their sense of ENTITLEMENT.
Story 3 - OP NTA, NTA, NTA - Your siblings are greedy ENTITLED AHs. Ask your siblings and the flying monkeys if they will be giving YOU money if the value of the house was less than what YOU LEGALY bought it for a few years back? Watch how fast they start with the 1001 excuses about why is not the same, blah, blah, blah. OP get an attorney to send them a letter of Cease and Desist. YOU OWE THEM NOTHING!
Story 4 - OP NTA but you will be if you stay. You will be this AH's mommy. Good luck!
Story5 - OP NTA - "My daughter will be upset if you say no, it will be a great bonding experience, blah, blah, blah". Is this woman for real? Is your father this blind? She is blatantly parading that HER kid's well-being and comfort ARE more important than those of HIS daughter and you father is NOT putting her stupid ass in HER place? OP tell your father that he is the one that needs to deal with the moron that he is choosing to marry.
Story 1 - Coming back crawling on your hands and knees, begging for forgiveness, and asking how she can repair things is a natural consequence of the daughter's actions. OP enabling her does nothing but makes sure that she will steal from him too.
@@phoenix211245how so? Op isn’t giving her money, in fact, it’s the opposite. I would suggest repaying the parents and having a therapy session about the whole situation.
@@vincentlucario5450 And how sure are you that she isn't going to actively steal from OP to feed whatever addiction she has? Going through the amount of money she stole in the time stated is kinda hard if you are just spending it on housing, food, and a bit of entertainment.
@@phoenix211245 for the same reason that you’re sure your neighbor isn’t going to kill you while you sleep. Trust and precautions. How much money? You seem to know the specific amount, including her budget, the rent, groceries, etc.
What was your mom really going to do? Even if you graduate HS early, you're still a minor. Your mother did what she was supposed to do.
Story 5: NTA, there is no legitimate reason for her to share a room with you, and you being over 8 years older makes it inappropriate.
11:44 i needed this woman as my role model when I got together with my husband! I should have written down the mental load of planning and organizing all the chores.
Story 1 NTA, I think everyone can agree that the Ex’s stepdaughter shouldn’t have lied and pocket the money, but their plan was literally what ever happens to her, happens. Out of the three adults in this story Op is the only one being responsible
Hm, she was pocketing the money sent to her for tuition and living expenses. Can you guess how many thousands she stole? Her parents would have been NTA for cutting her out entirely.
@@phoenix211245 DID YOU FORGET;She USED the Money for food &some shelter. I Think You're AS Dumb as the Frist comment.
S2- those are not your kids and your brother can watch his own damn kids.
Apparently he's of the mindset that only the mom watches the kids, something his mom taught him! This isn't the 1950's, bro!
Hang on why does the father get the blame? He supported his daughter. The problem is the step mother.
Because dad should have shut his fiance and not allow her to keep insisting after op said no.
Because people like fiance think they can bully minors to do what they want so it needs to be adult who tells them to stop.
My daughter will be upset. That’s NOT Ops responsibility to care for others feelings. The step mom is gonna force op to blend and make op miserable because she will call them step
Funny how the fiancé didn't acknowledge the fact that OP would be upset if they shared a room. It was somehow not relevant I guess.
1st story nta poor step daughter I can honestly see why she lied your ex and her husband are cruel controlling people they're willing to make her homeless to make her go back to college and rely on them is abuse, they're only mad at you cause you ruined their plan to control her, they don't care about her mental health only that she studies to get a good job that pays well so they can leech off of her, I can honestly see them doing that to her. Op your doing the step daughter a massive favour you taking her in saved her from her narcassitic parents from turning her into their puppet or her having a mental breakdown, keep protecting her and be ready to report themto the police if they try anything.
Thanks again XOS. Shes an adult now. If college is hurting her mentally she needs to take a break. Maiybe she will want to go back. Maybe not.
Story 1: in the end, the daughter is an adult as is OP. Anyone else has literally 0 to say about how a homeowner rents space or where a consenting informed adult chooses to live and work. Zero.
Hm, taking in a thief who stole tens of thousands from family, however distantly related, is an AH move. How about OP repays everything she stole first?
But remember, she’s a liar and a thief. She owes her parents money at the very least. Op is t wrong for housing her but needs to be careful
House sale story - OP NTA. His siblings are. Look at it this way. Back in the 90s we sold a house. We got $X for it. It is now worth three times, if not more, than what we sold it for. Do those morons think that the new owners should compensate me for their good luck? I got good money for it in the 90s. The sins in that story are morons.
1: so they wanted to break their daughter? how is this good parenting
It isn't.
Maybe they'll be lucky enough for her to be abused while she's homeless. That will really break her.
In what world does a 15 yo want to live with an unrelated 7 yo?
S1: college isn't for everyone! For those who don't know Winnipeg has UNGODLY COLD WINTERS, I'm from North Dakota and we pretty much get same cold AF WINTERS.
Story 3: So if the house/neighborhood declined rather than improved, would the siblings have compensated Op?
doubtful
NTA Op you did nothing wrong.
Story 1.. The girl can always go to online college later if she wants.. many people do this because it’s more affordable and can be done at a pace she can probably handle better..
Story 2.. OP doesn’t owe the siblings anything ! The house was appraised and OP bought it on agreed price.. they each, by their reasoning, owe OP a third of all expenses he was out taxes and upkeep, etc..
Story 3.. OP BF is either deliberately being incompetent or IS totally incompetent.. either way , not worth the effort!
Last story.. No, means no.. they should respect that..
Ex wife is a narcissistic monster. May she find the karma she deserves I’m so glad op is a decent human being.
Inkompetent husband story: easy fix. Write: "Check x, check y, check z" etc. on your list and Mark them as your tasks. Now hubby can do 50% of All the chores. See how he likes that.
If the woman in the first story had just lied about being in school then I would see nothing wrong with that, but she stole an entire years worth of tuition. She's an adult. She can get a job and get roommates. There is no excuse for stealing.
Story 4: OP should talk to her Dad and ask him to lower the hammer on his fiancee. Let stepmom know she has no authority over his children and is not to badger them. All requests are to go through him and that no means no.
And OP should also tell the stepsister how she feels. I know it will be painful for her but she and her mom need to face reality.
And above all quash the obvious live in 24 hour babysitter fantasy that fiancee has brewing. Why do you think she’s filled her little girls head with this roomie stuff?
2. So they are mad a house ypu bought may now be worth more money. It is irrelevant your parents also owned this same house at one point, you purchased it. NTI.
If your plan involves someone going homeless, thinking they'll be *better* for the experience you're an *idiot* at best, and the deepest kind of vile more likely. Being homeless *fucks* with people. It's a trauma. And it's fucking cruel. And I can't' guarantee what the young adult in question would have done without someone helping her out, but based on experience I can say the possibilities include turning to substances to cope, couch surfing, car sleeping, shelters, and self-termination to name a few outcomes. It's one of the most basic human needs and wanting her deprived of it is fucked up past anything. There is no excuse. I hope the girl gets herself the help she needs and *never* speaks with those sad excuses of humans again.
Yeesh, it’s no wonder that first OP has an ex-wife, that woman’s a monster!
Story 1: she stole thousands and thousands of dollars from her parents. OP isn’t TA to take her in(though he should be cautious) but they aren’t TA to cut her off either. She’s lucky they didn’t press charges
It does sound like she did it for a good reason given the plan was to force her back. Burn out doesn't occur for no small reason, so I can imagine mother dearest pushed her to the absolute limit.
Idk, it sounds like they weren’t worried about the money. Just the lying.
The parents are lucky, that they are not living in Canada and not here. She could sue them for cutting her of (or could simply talk to the authorities and have them do it instead). They would 100% have to cover her cost of living until her 25. birthday. It is a legally binding obligation to do so.
There are very few exceptions, basically being very poor yourself and criminal conduct like physically assault. Not informing them about classified medical information like her burnout and stoping to attend university due to an illness is certainly not enough.
The only reason the parents would be able to stop paying in this case, would be her earning her own money, after she has moved in with her mothers ex and started to work.
She should talk to the college. They maybe could have let her defer her place. She could still do this at a local college living with op. It's incredibly dangerous to leave someone homeless and alone. School and college can be relentless without a break. Forcing her back too soon is not a good idea.
In that last story, the mom of the 7 year old wants a daily babysitter in her new husband's 15 year old and is frustrated she's not getting it.
Story 1: the boy done good! OP's son is more mature than his mother and step-father.
4:27 oh waahh SIL had to reschedule her nail appointment. Who's the immature one that can't schedule the appointment at a good time. Brother needs to learn to parent.
Sil doesn't parent either it just gets dropped on op or the grandparents
2. SIL should refrain from any babysitting agreements. 3. This is common when you buy out others of a shared property. They still entitles to it. It's best to sell it or make sure the contract specifies that they are not entitled to any sale proceeds should the house be put on sale at a later date.
Thank you
Ah good old weaponized incompetence.
Story 3: FFS IT'S OP'S HOUSE! SHE BOUGHT IT!!!
Why exactly can't a Father supervise his kids for a few hours??? His Wife volunteered and enabled this.
First! Hello, XO!
1) NTA, OP was asked to help and did in a way that is truly good for this girl. He is right, she may go back to school at some point, but if not, she can still find her way in the world thanks to those who love and support her as she becomes independent.
2) No is a complete sentence and no explanation need be given. Last minute demands need not be met by someone who bears no responsibility for the situation. NTA.
3) The sibs got their share of the inheritance and are owed nothing more. OP invested, they spent theirs. NTA for not giving them the profit they do not deserve. OP should not give them a dime, should move and enjoy a good life without them, or any of the other idiots, in it.
4) OP, needs to realize she is parenting a child instead of having a partner. If he is going to continue to weaponize incompetence and behave in such an awful and controlling way it's time to realize he needs to be sent back to his mommy. NTA unless OP stays with this guy.
5) NTA. I hope OP's dad realizes he should not marry this woman who has zero care for his child and won't take no for an answer. The fiancee has created this problem by giving false expectations to her daughter and trying to pressure and guilt OP.
Story 1. She lied to her parents, because she can't trust them to have the conversation with them. It's one reason people lie.
Story 4: NTA and op doesn’t need to leave the relationship .
Are they going to gove upu money for taxes and repairs made
Story 1: NTA, manipulating a young adult to get her to do what they want, is the grossest parenting technique ever. She is having a mental health crisis, and needs help, and no tot be homeless.
Story 2: Why should OP give up having a relaxing day with her partner so that the SIL can get her nails done? Why didn’t the SIL ask her husband to look after his children while she went out? The women in the family should stop enabling the brother😒
Story 3: OP, do your siblings not understand how this works? When you gave them money for their shares of the house, the house no longer belonged to them!😠
Story 4: OP, you need to stop living with this guy if he continues to act as if he’s stupid when it comes to household chores😠
Story 5: While it’s cute that the seven year old wants to share a room with her stepsister, I understand why OP, a teenager, doesn’t want to share a room with a little girl😒
Story 1. Parents have a right to cut her off and let her figure it out but they can't get mad at how she managed to work it out. Would they be like this if the daughter was taken in by a friend or do they really want her to become homeless?
3nd story: you all think that Opie is not an idiot and she is because of the fact that she set this up to a loud herself to be used as the babysitter. And now it's more of an expectation instead of hey can you help out.
And then the brother and his wife expects it and she runs over there to do it. So this whole family is screwed up and to be honest they don't need children because if you're so bent on trying to throw your children off on everybody else but yourself you don't need kids, even his wife that needed to get her nails done.
And if she's a stay-at-home mom then she needs to figure it out how she's going to get her nails done with three small children because if the husband is working full-time than her being a stay-at-home mom is what she supposed to do and she also needs to figure it out.
And I don't know where you all get there's a break when you have kids ain't no such s*** if you don't want to take care of your children you don't have them let me say that again if you don't want to take care of the children that you decided to lay up and have and want to find them off on some other people you should not have had children and maybe you need to give them up.
You didn't need to go help him because he had to be a parent for 2 hours, his wife didn't need to cancel her nail appointment because he had to be a parent for 2 hours. Everybody else in your life can stop pretending like it's at all reasonable that a grown man needs help being a parent for 2 hours. I was a stay at home father for five years. If you're not a complete waste of oxygen it's one of the easiest tasks on earth.
I wonder when we're going to start accepting that sending 18-year-olds off to go to University and having them go from being children to adults with adult responsibilities overnight isn't all that reasonable? I too crashed and burned when I had to start college and I was living at home with a supportive family. I wasn't ready to finish my education for a decade while I recovered from those years. Thing is, if it was just me than I'd say it's an anomaly. Unfortunately, the same thing happened at an alarming rate among other kids I knew. All of us had mental health problems; some of us turned to illicit substances to deal with them. I feel like it can't be a coincidence that these health issues only became apparent when we were put into a high-pressure environment with responsibilities that were much larger than anything we'd ever dealt before. At 17 I had to go to a pediatrician and my mom had to sign off on the doctor listening to my chest with a stethoscope. At 18 I was legally saddled with a mountain of debt that would affect my life for the next 20+ years. I'm starting to be more surprised when I see a kid thrive at college rather than struggle.
S3: if sibling influencer career had taken off would he have split his profits with OP? No he would not.
& why can’t your brother man up & parent his own children?
You said sil isn’t much better.
Btw: getting nails done usually takes more than two hours. Depending on the type of manicure it can take four hours.
Stop having kids.
OP do you, have fun.
Weaponized incompetence... Go to a week on/ week off schedule. Make a video on how things are, and verify it's done that way. He needs to learn to take care of himself
Story one. Wtf ops ex wanted her step daughter to be homeless in a Winnipeg winter. That is all kinds of messed up. ( I know it's a power thing)
They are abusive parents.
The daughter stole quite a large sum of money from them. No one looks good in this story.
@@phoenix211245 I don't condone what she did. But it's easy to be righteous when you aren't under the gun. OP should still be wary.
@@DrownedInExile Ok, could she, or couldn't she have asked for help and options when she decided to drop out? Even from OP, as she did? Yet she decided to lie to her parents and steal their money. Assuming it is in the USA, it's probably in the tens of thousands of dollars range, as tuition is usually paid upfront, which she pocketed, and her parents were sending money for living expenses. WHAT DID SHE SPEND THAT MONEY ON? Only two options come to mind, drugs or gambling. I know that my parents would have told me "you are on your own now", if I did that. The fact that they were willing to take her back at all and try to help in whichever imperfect way they manage is already a surprising point in their book.
@@phoenix211245 Are you seriously giving the parents credit for threatening to make her homeless in Winnipeg??? That's pretty twisted.
Story 2: NTA
Story 1 nta. Only idiot is the daughter. I don’t blame the parents at all.
Story 1 Kids who drop out of college and steal their parents money are going to come with a lot of problems. Taking her in is really going to not be fun for you. You'll end up kicking her out sooner rather than later, no matter what her parents did for her
Or maybe she will go to therapy and try to figure out what is wrong with her and learn how to deal with it and then get her life back on track. I'm generally a complete pessimist and have zero Hope For Humanity but every once in awhile I try to give people the benefit of the doubt.
That's too pessimistic. She clearly has abusive parents. I don't condone what she did, but it's easy to be righteous when you aren't in the trenches. But I do think OP should be a little cautious of her, be prepared to pull the plug if needed.
@@DrownedInExile exactly my thoughts, it never hurts to try to help but keep a little guard up
This is not going to go well for the man. She is going to pull so much crap on him. He is actually an idiot for taking her in the more I think about it.
@@simshengvue5799 can things go wrong? Absolutely. Are there any signs that it could go wrong other than she dropped out of school due to it being too much pressure on her Mental Health and was trying to live life until her parents wanted her to be homeless so she would crawl back to them? No!
Middle aged man moving in his ex’s teen stepdaughter looks sketch af.
She’s 19, not 14. They planned on making her homeless, dude. I highly doubt he thinks of her that way.
Just as well she's lesbian. Or did you not hear that?
Oh you're one of those. All men are automatically predators eh?
@@mikemahoney5943selective ignorance is what they are demonstrating. They're literally thinking the dirtiest thing they can.
Let me adjust your comment for you, stable adult helping out his son's stepsister who is a newly legal adult with mental health issues because her parents would rather see her homeless then succeed... there I fixed it for you