Story 1: Bold of the dad to ask if OP was choosing a dog over him when he picked his affair partner over OP. I'd have responded "of course, the dog is loyal unlike some people."
"Dad said I should be nicer to her if I wanted a relationship with him." Oh, brother, what a straight line. Next he should hit himself in the face with a pie. And bravo to your Mom , who , as one commenter pointed out, played this exactly right.
Dad seriously misread the room and actually thought he had leverage with OP when he made that demand. Sometimes that reality check hits hard. As for mom, I like her final response. She knows 1 son is officially an adult and OP is 16 so it's no longer on her to facilitate any sort of relationship between them and their father.
So, the child-bride was 22 when the dad married her? That means she was probably even younger when he started grooming her, assuming she started babysitting OP as a teen. The dad is disgusting either way, and OP is better off without him around.
@@elisejackson2854not really, OP would’ve been 12 when they got married, its not too wild to assume she’d been babysitting him for a few years by the time they got married
Agreed these people sound obnoxious. But this being Reddit of course people are going to make OP out to be the bad guy Guarantee if the wifes family were gun loving, Jesus shouting carnivorous republicans there would be a clean sweep to keep them out of the house. OP is a reasonable person who isn’t forcing his beliefs on anyone. These are just people who just love the poke the bear. And then cry victim when the person defends themselves.
Last commentor was odd... She knew what kind of man she was marrying and commentor thinks she was somehow tricked into that life. And yes. She can make tofu replacement for her family. And make sure her family doesn't sling any insult about animal based foods
If inlaws or anyone causes problems, expects you to change your home, cater to their preferences and refuse to compromise AND are nasty to you and make fun of you, why have them over to your home? Meet them at a restaurant or something for a short visit. Disrespectful people and their toxic, bad vibes shouldn't be in your home.
It's not just his home. It's his wife's aswell . He is not an ass for how he is treating his inlaws he is an ass for how he is treating his wife. He is being disrespectful to her and showing her his need to stuck it to his inlaws is more important than her. Nothing the wife is asking for is extreme. If her parents were Jewish would you not expect them to serve a main other than pork. If your partner askes you to take down decor that will make her family uncomfortable and cause her issues is that not fair seeing it is her house aswell.
@@cheekyftoro8962 I disagree. With her demands the wife supports the toxic behavior of her family. THAT is unacceptable. Her family should even be invited to the house after all of that. They can either meet at a restaurant or the wife an visit her family on her own. But I honestly think, that the wife is disrespectful to her husband by subjugating him to her toxic family.
In-laws Are Rude: Why isn't the wife putting a stop to her families disrespectful comments towards her husband and if they dont like the decor in his home, they shouldn't be going there!!
Last: NTA. Wife is putting her *WANTS* before the *NEEDS* of the family. No jump in pay, gone half the time. Wife: "But, I want to travel." Husband: "And I do not want to raise 3 kids, all under the age of 7, by myself for half the time or more. I would rather divorce you and use the child support & alimony money I'll get from you to get a nanny."
Story 1: NTA, and why bother having a relationship with the "baby bride"? OP's dad is totally gonna dump her soon so he can score himself an even younger and more fertile bride ... if anything OP better be careful not to let his dad pick him up from school, he might scope out his son's classmates for said replacement.
Minor elephant in the room: dad is 47 and wants to have another child? This all sounds like a bid to make the ex-wife wrong and to somehow have a "do over" of his younger days. But a new kid will be just out of high school when he's retiring. Is he honestly going to be chasing after a toddler when he's 50? He sounds selfish and immature (despite his age).
I've mellowed out with age but as a 16 year old I was dangerous and vicious myself. I would have smiled at the ex baby sitter and dad and told them "it takes one to know one seeing as he's a cheating dog and she's a clueless bitch." 😅
Story 3: are you talking about there are vegan options, and they're welcome to bring something. I don't see why OP needs to change the main dish because too ignorant people that can't accept over lifestyles exist, we'll be upset when they're the only ones that want a tofu turkey. They're going to insult you even if they don't see any of that stuff on the wall, and your wife needs to stop trying to tiptoe around the issue and call her parents for being so disrespectful to you. They don't have to hide their beliefs or make changes for your sake, why should you?
Yeah, seems like it's one where you can make both and keep them from pushing theirs on other people at the thanksgiving meal there. Adding a tofurkey or something like it to the meal rather than replacing things isn't that big of a thing, but I would refuse to redecorate the house for their visit...
My opinion of these issues is if you’re the aggressor, you’re the asshole. OP‘s wife’s family continually insulted him, trying to get him to fight. He doesn’t bite, so they keep going. At this point if OP‘s wife is demanding that they accommodate, her crappy parents, I think OP may need to reconsider the marriage. It sounds like he and his wife get along, but if she really cares about what her parents think that much, then this is unsustainable.
He should just accept the win & be graceful about it. Meaning, make a 2nd main dish & be kind when telling his wife he won't redecorate. His wife chose him & his lifestyle. Her parents do need to accept their daughter's partner/choices, but it's hard for parents when their kid rejects their religion & everything they believe in. Wife is struggling bc she wants to still have the love of her family. Families can be stressful & complicated.
1st Story: NTA It's so weird when estranged parents come popping back into their kids lives expecting to pick up where they last left off. OP already has a mom and doesn't need another one.
Sometimes I really wonder at the audacity of cheaters. They really do have extraordinary boldness. If I, some how cheat on my husband and destroy my family, I wonder if I would walk around with my head held high & even demand for things as if the world owes me something or if I would be so ashamed that I would never venture outside but then again, being a cheater requires a lot of courage to be a filthy and despicable human being. OP's dad is not only a cheater who wrecked his family but a deadbeat who abandoned his children. If his affair partner was fertile, am sure he would be walking around feeling like he did nothing wrong.
You said exactly what he needed to hear. To be honest if he had that other kids he wouldn't have been there his new family would have been all that matter. You made him look in the mirror and he did not like what he saw
Montana: The YTA is very strange. Her family constantly berates OP, and he just lets it slide. I can't see any possible reason to invite them to his hunting lodge, just so they can bug him some more. For there to be friction there needs to be contact. Separate visits for sure.
It’s (and this is probably a reach) due to the fact REDDIT usually is used by liberals and democrats, anything republican usually will lead to hate, so any instance of disagreement usually is decided “who won” based on belief systems alone
OP with the vegan in-laws is not the A-hole. He should not have to change the decor of his home for guests. He can have vegan options, one main dish and a few side dishes in large enough quantities that they won't run out of non vegans try them. If the in-laws get preechy about being vegan and bring up religion, they can be asked to leave.
Story 3: NTA. So basically she just wants you to re decorate your home “To keep the peace”. I hate to break it to your Wife but even if you went all out for their sake they’d still fine something to complain about. You aren’t disturbing the peace.
@@GiordanDiodato I question his credibility from the start with "Militant vegan and atheist". 9 times out of 10 this is mainly used to put the put into a hostile light and make the speaker seem more like a victim. I wouldn't be surprised if he left out how rude and hostile he is around them.
Story 2: if this was the daughter and her brother’s friend broke up with her you would not allow that boy in the house. If this was my brother I would tell my friend that at this moment it would not be okay to hang out at my house and maybe we should go to her house instead of letting her come over while my brother’s heart is broken. One day the mom and sister are going to wonder why the brother wants nothing to do with them anymore.
The ex was stalking girlfriend’s Facebook…she played around and found out. If ex wants fun she can get it. That relationship is over and she needs to move on. She sounds obnoxious.
I really like how all the commenters assumed she left him when the evidence says he left her. She's the one cyberstalking him. She's the one telling the kids about her dreams of getting back together with him. Each of those things by themselves tell me he left her but taking together it is pretty clear
@@Mewse1203also sounds like he is fun, few weekends a month dad and left all childcare and responsibilities to ex. She cannot have fun weekends because she's single parent due op dropping his 50% of responsibilities. No wonder ex is bitter It actually says she wanted divorce. No wonder if he didn't bother doing anything to upkeep the relationship and i have feeling she left him because she was basically single parent while being married.
@darkmask5933 Heck, she was likely younger when they first hooked up since OP was 12 when they ran off together, so 18 to 20. The dad likes them young. Regardless of her age back then, she has serious gall to be making demands to the kid she helped her husband betray.
To the response of "You're choosing a dog over me." I swear I would have replied. "Well you chose a dog over me, I think it's fair but then again I don't want to compare my dog to that b*tch." Although maybe that's harsh to the dog.
This is very possible. Traveling for work is exhausting. Jet lag is a real problem for almost everyone. She'd be home 1-2 weeks a month, not necessarily sequentially, and be totally checked out. Even if she doesn't consciously want to not be a parent/partner, the result of this kind of position will bring about the same result. But they could be from some corn husker state where their horizons are unchanging, and she's desperate for a change of scenery. If so, she lacks imagination on the realities of traveling for work. The idea that a person will see the world on the company's dime is an delusional as believing Uncle Sam when the poster states: See the world. Join the Army. A military barracks anywhere in the world looks the same; the temperature, humidity, and number of bugs are the only variables that change.
My brother married my best friend. Their divorce drove me mad with both of them trying to put me in the middle. Lost a friend and wad low contact with bro for 3 years
I told my brother i talked to a old friend of his, he immidiatly said he was not the right guy for me. i was like 'okaaay' it was a few days later that i realized he was in big brother mode and knowing this guy was nice but not the mostly stabelist he did not want me to date him. the funny part was i was not even interested i just wanted to tell him i ran into a friend of his lol
My sister dated one of my buds from high school. Ended up not working out as a lot of young love doesn't. She ended up meeting her husband a year or two later and they celebrated 40 years together this past January. He found his match about 5 years later and the only reason they didn't attend my wedding was they were in the process of moving to New Mexico a few weeks before the wedding. We've stayed in touch these 47 years through both of us becoming widowers though while back in our home state we're on opposite ends of the state with health issues so it's mostly contact by phone to check in on each other.
Story 3: NTA. There so many post where people say the partner needs to handle their own family. Yet here the wife gets a pass? How is OP supposed to be cordial with the people who constantly make fun of him for who he is? OP should’ve left that crap long ago.
Nope...NTA...as a fellow Montanan...dont change dookie for them. You can let wifey make her tofurkie but don't change anything else. They can take their ideas and leave them at the door.
They could make the tofurky and whatever turducken combo OP was planning together. Sounds to me like the vegan in laws don't even want non vegan items on the table. Toxic and controlling for huests
Story 3, the family and wife are the AITA, OP has been having to deal with verbal abuse and taunts by wife's family. Those people reminds me of my bullies, claim to be very liberal and loving but are toxic and closet bigots.
I bet you that they would slander him and say lies about him You can tolerate so much abuse before you snap back, bet you they’ll act the victim when OP defend himself
@@Mewse1203 I’m sure they’re very lovely,” tolerant “ progressive liberals who “love”, “support, and respect everyone and everyone. Just as long as they agree with them in way, shape and form unconditionally and without out question. OP doesn’t have to and shouldn’t have to put up with a bunch self righteous ,blowhards who are arrogant enough to think and believe that they way of life is some how more superior. They sound insufferable.
Jealous ex story: IMO whether or not OP could've been better to his ex when they were together, and whether or not he's treating his new gf better, is entirely irrelevant. They're not together anymore, how he treats his new gf is none of the ex's business. I get the hurt she was feeling, but she's TA for trying to make those feelings her ex's problem. That's the kind of thing you vent with your BFFs or therapist and otherwise keep your mouth shut about, not something you talk to your ex or your kids about.
Guarantee that if it was the daughter who dated her brother's best friend and got broken up with the op wouldn't be telling her to suck it up and just move on
That trashy father lost his place as a father when he put his lust over his family. The affair partner is trashy as well. Cheating is EVIL! Also choose your faithful pets over crappy relatives. Parents don’t get a free pass to be evil.
Montana marriage- Buddy, offer a vegan main dish and tell them this atheist says that they are being disrespectful and rude towards others and that ISNT what an atheist should act like. Let others live the way they want to live. Personal choice, regardless whether they approve or not. We all deserve the right to live the way that makes us happy. They need to understand that. And save some turducken for me!
Story 1: LOOOL “if you want a relationship with me you will listen to her demands” “i DONT want a relationship with you…” **shocked pikachu face** The absolute AUDACITY of this man… NTA Op and good for you.
An odd Reddit take. So the son got dumped, his now ex goes off on holiday, and a fortnight later said ex is yukking it up in his home? Were I the ex, I'd probably not want to be around him for a while and meet my friend elsewhere. Some odd dynamics in that family.
She wanted to not be in a relationship for the trip.😢 Mama: "As long as you are with that boy, you are not dancing or walking with or talking to, any other boys! That's cheating!"😮 The girl wants him back. Maybe just young maybe she's sorry maybe a user, who knows at this point. But she wants him to see her & miss her😢
@@GiordanDiodato Annnd? What law states that they can’t meet at the best friends house for a month or two. Or a coffee shop. Or pretty much anywhere than the home of the person the best friend dumped a fortnight ago. It troubles me that some don’t see how odd it is that the best friend was at all comfortable being in the same house as him so soon. Most women or men would stay well away from the partner they dumped for at least a few months.
@Sir_Gerald_Nosehairs. Exactly. All of this. If the kid lived out of the house, he'd at least be able to stay away from his ex for a while, but because he still lives at home, he has to suck it up? He should be allowed not to be around his ex and OP shouldn't be putting the ex above their own son.
Sort of a similar story excpet mine goes on for years.. When i was 16, i got into a relationship with the daughter of my parent's friends. They have known each other for at least 20 years. My father even dated my Ex's mother's sister when they were young. We broke up when i was 18. Hurt like crazy. Its been 43 years since i have seen her. My sister and her sister were friends for years afterward although it diminished many years ago. Our parents still see each other all the time although both of our fathers have now passed away. . Her parents came to my wedding and my parents went to her wedding. And yet after all this time, we have never seen or spoken with each other. I do see her parents maybe 4 times a year and her sister maybe once every 3 or 4 years. Her father died and i went to the funeral although ironically enough she wasn't there because of some issues. . My mother still spends time with her mother and was invited to the wedding of my Ex's son.
My grandparents divorced when my grandmother did the me or the dog. My grandfather chose the dog. (There were other issues but this was the final straw). My grandmother hated dogs and would yell at my dog to get off the furniture. My dog just ignored her. It was funny.
Her family are the ahs, she's just an enabler. OP should be ready to get a divorce lawyer because their marriage won't make it through Thanksgiving. I get why the wife wants to have a relationship with HER family, but then why marry OP? Why change him if she married him for who he is, especially if HER family absolutely despise him? The wife can't have her "tofurkey" and eat it, too. And the commenters bashing OP for hating on his wife's family, well why wouldn't he? They sound like the kind of people who scream into an echo chamber and call it "Other people's opinions." I wouldn't like them either if they constantly give me crap for my lifestyle. I would not trust them into my house, not even for a quick visit, and neither should OP
Story 4 , we don't know what the before situation was with the ex wife. She left him and yes he could have neglected her, or she wanted something she didn't communicate to him. I have been in that situation you can do all you think and they want something not communicated. Also this is a different relationship, yes the train hopping was irresponsible, he has children so that was stupid. However it is a different relationship so things are different. I have an SO now and things I did for my ex I don't do for my current GF. Also the fact the ex told the kids she had a dream getting back together with OP and her stalking the IG says a lot about the ex and her mind. She may regret leaving and not talking and trying to make it work. He didn't ask for the divorce and there was nothing said that she talked about her wanting more from him.
Story 1: If I had to guess mom felt like she had to play nice because she thought it was best to have both parents in their life, and more than likely some guilt tripping from dad. But I feel like the slut should have known not to speak unless spoken to, and especially not to insult the parent that was actually around. It's always amazing to me when you have people that truly believe the people they screwed over are just going to take them back as if none of the crap they did happened. Your brother may want to play nice but you don't owe him anything, and you are a good son for not letting them come in and insult your mom for having a dog, and I'm pretty sure one visit does not mean she truly knows if the dog was deadly.
Montana/Cali story: NTA! the wife could cook for her family. But she wants OP to do it as a facade. Show her family that “hey HES getting better”. Nah. If the wife wants a tofu turkey SHE can make it. Id never cook for people that continuously try to bully me over my beliefs.
Exactly, it's her job to deal with HER family. SHE needs to make the comments stop and she needs to stand up for herself and her husband. And if she wants her family to feel included she needs to make the vegan food.
Story 4: Number One issue, why is your ex stalking your girlfriend 🤮 and two, no two relationships are ever the same, we usually improve ourselves or change the type of person we want in our lives. Your ex needs to butt out of your relationship immediately. There is nothing wrong with having an “adventure,” it DOESN’T make you irresponsible or immature.
Vegan story- NTA. Imagine if it was a jewish household, or any other religon. Asking someone to take down their religous items is an aH move. The wife is an AH
So the ex left because he treated her like a roommate who's an afterthought. He made sure to treat the next one like a partner he actually likes. He basically said he did it because she's small and likes the way she looks. Meanwhile, the ex is raising the kids. So yeah, makes sense that the ex feels put out.
Ahh but what about the dream? AND telling the kids? OP might want to ask himself the question that our narrator always asks, "Am I the Idiot?" Yah you are, she wants OP Back. It was in the dream she had before the fun trip OP & GF went on, even said "I don't no y she toad the kids" Dude!
She didn't leave because she didn't love him. She was tired of the lack of everything. The person he acts like now is who she wanted while she was with him. Once he weighs this one down with kids and responsibilities, he'll stop treating her that way, too. Because then, she'll no longer be tinier and fun. She'll grow up.
I mean I can understand why she’s upset. It’s completely understandable, but idk if OP is an AH because he changed his behavior after life basically said “Dude you gotta be different”
Traveling for work as I have done for many years is not that fun. I am always on a tight schedule to get things done not to mention cancelled flights and airport delays. Many times there is not enough to fit in anything fun in.
Train hopping dad story: I like how all the comments are assuming despite the evidence in the post, that she left him. She's the one that cyberstalking him. She's the one that is telling her kids she wants to get back together. Those two things by themselves tell me that he left her and she's not happy about it. Together.... Edit: I somehow missed that she asked for divorce. Still, the rest stands.
Story 1 - OP NTA - Nope, you didn't say anything that wasn't TRUE. If your father and his new baby bride's feelings got hurt that is THEIR PROBLEM and not yours. Maybe now he can get the real hint that you want nothing to do with him. As for your brother, have a talk with him and make him understand that the same way you respect how he feels about your sperm donor, HE should respect how you feel about the sperm donor and his wife. That he may want a relationship with his father, but you don't. By the way, great choice picking the dog over the sperm donor. I would've done the same LMAO! Story 2 - OP NTA - He is just salty because she was the one who dumped him. I bet you anything that if it was the other way around your son wouldn't be throwing temper tantrums. Story 3 - OP NTA - Why is almost everybody making it seem like OP's wife is some kind of poor damsel in distress in the middle of feud that has nothing to do with her? While is true that they all have their differences, OP's wife has allowed HER family to mock and disrespect OP for a long time. Come, they even accused OP of "brainwashing" their daughter FFS. OP's wife should be the one setting boundaries with HER parents. Story 4 - OP NTA - Tell your ex that you are doing what any smart people do after a broken relationship/divorce, you learned to do things differently with your new partner. That's how it is supposed to be. You can't go living your life making the same mistakes over, and over again. Reiterate to her that you are not saying that your marriage to her was a mistake, but the truth is that it didn't work, and you are a different person now and that is not a bad thing. Story 5 - OP NTA - So, you are unsupportive because you gave your honest opinion about her taking a job that pays the same as the one she has now with the only difference that she will be TRAVELING and be away from you and the kids for 50-70% of the time ad she is upset? OP if your wife wanted to see the world, she should've done that BEFORE having kids. The icing on the cake, she is now mad and throwing a temper tantrum because you don't want to support her idiotic dream to see the world on somebody else's dime. RME! Time for your wife to join the real world and think about what is important here... HER CHILDREN.
Ex husband , ex wife and girlfriend story... if you're spending time/days with your kids and giving them the child support, after the divorce which your ex wife wanted. Then NTA.... she's upset and bitter that another person is making you happy and in return you're doing things for her off your own back..... for me if she wanted you to do nice things for her in the marriage give you a reason to do so....
For the first comment on the story about OP's ex feeling jealous over their new GF. Train hopping is taking multiple trains not actually jumping from train to train.
@@blackrex828it's an age gap of 8yrs so not huge given he's 35. As for the train hoping that is risky but he wants to adventurous now with the new girlfriend. The ex is the one who initiated their divorce.
Story 3: OH HELL NO! I am NOT conservative at all! But if OP wants to live his life with taxidermy heads on the walls and he’s Christian, that’s who he is. His wife knows this and shouldn’t try to change him or the home. I don’t see a problem offering a couple of vegan options for the meal but everything else I would say no.
Oh my God to the woman whose man is telling him you should be cuddling your son and treating you like the little baby is. That's how kids grow up to be weak and entitled and can't deal with life.
Wife needs to tell her family to show respect to her husband in their own home or not come by. I cannot imagine someone being rude to my wife in our home & sitting back. She needs to support him. Other story. The dog was more LOYAL than the dad
Dont usually double comment but also; op in the second to last story is asking if he’s the idiot for treating his girlfriend well and maybe he was a monster to his ex but the fact of the matter is how he treats his current partner is NONE of her business. Who are these people that would just… allow an ex to interrogate them about this? “How come you didnt do xyz why didnt you treat me to this why didnt we etcetcetc” uhmmm well 1st why are you stalking my partner and second what i do with them and why is none of your concern. Crazy people man
One thing I love about relationship stories is how most of Reddit acts like women are entitled to pampering and 110% effort from their men, but if a man wants anything done for him, pampering etc, he must be a misogynist. Wife: “take care of all the kids after a 12 hour shift, then make me dinner and clean for me.” Reddit: “you totally should!” Hubby: “can you make me lunch when the games on?” Reddit: “you pig divorce isn’t enough you should die alone.” The stalking ex story is this in a nutshell. The new girl gets more because she shows APPRECIATION, and makes things fun. The ex DEMANDED it because she believed she was ENTITLED to that treatment as his wife. And as Tony soprano once said, “you’re entitled to shit.”
Regarding OP’s Vegan inlaws: OP is NTA. They badger him while he doesn’t take the bait. I think this request is just another way they are trying to goad him into a fight. I suggest a compromise. Make them a tasty vegan option but OP gets to keep his decor intact. If they cannot accept that, then go NC.
1 story he is NTA, he spoke the truth they have been trying to replace him, but can't and honestly he shouldn't be forced to play nice with people who abandoned him, try to replace him and be down right disrespectful to him and his doggo in his home, so naw nta and if they don't like it well the door is that way.
IKR? Golden retrievers are the go-to dogs for service animals for the disabled because they're so gentle. The dad's gf is trying to exert control over OP'S home
The first story- the OP is absolutely NOT the a-hole. Demanding you change your home and food preferences is ridiculous. However, making an additional vegan option for the in-laws would show who has more class in family and who is a petty, militant twit.
Story 3 NTA The wife family are a bunch of bullies AH I don't even understand why OP even invited them when we all can see this thanksgiving is going to be a disaster with wife and OP family coming together in one roof not good.
Story 2: OP is NOT wrong, the son just needs to realize that you don’t eat where you sh!t. He’s young and will get over it in about a week. OP told him what would happen, but of course teenagers never want to listen. That’s called growing up and getting hurt, it happens to everyone.
OP is wrong. I told you so or not, her daughter can hangout with her friend at her friends house for now, break ups are never easy and this just further proves how people are dismissive of men/boys feelings. You know as well as I if this was flipped people would be empathetic towards the daughter’s first heartbreak.
Final Story: NTA. If this is her dream then you can find a way to make that happen. But the reality is that right now this is not the best decision for the kids. Maybe when they are more independent you can explore this, but it’s far from selfish to ask your partner to be with you right now.
Story 4: NTA. Ya maybe you could have done more for her. But did she inspire you to do more? This reminds me of a story where a man was complaining about his Wife, how he wish she was better than she is now. Only to be practically forced to act better himself and get that woman. I’m not saying she was the whole problem, I just think she believes she was cheated out of something that didn’t have the chance to bloom.
Look, yes when feasible it's great to be able to support your spouse to "bloom", but there's also something called being called a parent, and having three kids in kindergarten age and younger you have to make sacrifices. The job pays worse, is farther away, and has bad benefits but it allows the wife to ditch the family for weeks at a time, that does not sound like a good job for the family. Doesn't matter if it was husband or wife taking it.
@@lovinglifebutnotonearth3909it’s called getting back what you put in. So if she wasn’t acting loving and appreciative of the small things why would he go out of his way to do bigger things? The same goes for her, if OP wasn’t equally appreciative that may have had an impact on what she was putting out.
Story1: Op's dad is delusional if he thinks this is about the dog (and who voices safety issues over a SIXTEEN YEAR OLD having a golden retriever, of all things?!?!?!)
Train hopping isn’t as dangerous as driving a car. He is not a bad person for train hopping. Maybe he wasn’t good to his ex and if so that sucks. But she needs to let it go, she’s not with him anymore. She has a right to feel hurt but not to dictate what he’s doing with his girlfriend and she has no reason to be stalking his girlfriend’s social media. If she wasn’t doing that she wouldn’t even know.
Story 1, your mother allowing your father to bring his homewrecking wife into your home should be an issue. Is she a doormat, she should be more protective of you and her own pride.
Am I the only one wondering why people who eat meat and people who are militantly vegan are coming together on a major food holiday? Have some tofu the weekend before, not on actual Thanksgiving. and turkey on actual Thanksgiving. Or gather with OP's family for turkey the weekend before and in-laws on Thanksgiving. But there is no way in hell I'd be hiding who I am, especially my religious beliefs, to appease anyone. Ever. I'd be needing a deep conversation with my partner to understand what their thinking on this is about. The goal is to have a close relationship with her family. Awesome. But why would that require hiding who we are? On any level but especially to the huge degree OP's partner thinks it needs to happen. Just to be accepted by her family. Shouldn't they accept her just because she is family?
S1: NTA and you were kinder than I would have been. I would have said: "That dog is part of this family. He/She is a well-behaved, loyal and would never hurt me, which is more than I can say for you two. And why would I want to take the advice of a woman who sleeps with a married man with a family. You may think that the blame solely falls on my father, but you are a grown woman who made that decision. If you want to play happy families, get a surrogate or adopt. Don't wait too long though. If he can replace the mother of his child and abandon his children, what's keeping him attached to you?"
"Are you choosing your dog over me?" "No, of course not, I'm choosing the peace and contentment that I know without you over the drama and conflict that comes from a relationship with you." Wow, that Montana man had me so solidly and then lost me so quick. "My wife wanted to redecorate the house but it's my home." "It's "our" home, that's what putting that ring on her finger meant buddy. But fine, you have a moral objection to redecorating for the comfort of your wife, fine fine." "She also wanted me to make a ridiculous meal that meets the dietary restrictions of many, if not possibly most, of our guests." "That MONSTER!" The guy is quickly approaching the point where he becomes a part of a Goldilocks story that his ex-wife repeats to her friends in Northern California while talking about how her new husband is just right. And not because he clearly has no respect for her family, but because he has no respect for her.
Story 1 NTA Once the dad realize he can't have do over kids with his baby bride now he wants a relationship with his sons you sir are a major AH as for the baby bride the whole nerve of her to come into somebody home especially the home of the woman she fuck over and talk about how they shouldn't have a dog and that she a bad mom like how dare you lady what goes on in somebody home ain't your damn business but you wouldn't know that since you love being in and destroying a home.
Story 2 INFO: I wonder how the OP would feel if her daughter was broken up by one of her son's friends and her daughter demanded that her son's friend be banned from the home? Would she tell her daughter to just get over it? I bet not
But the Californian, atheist, liberal vegans were going to FORCE this manly, Christian, Montana rancher to bake a tofurkey in his own home! How can you be so dismissive?!
im thinking montana man should send his wife to california for every holiday. problem solved. he should get life insurance on her too before she goes to San Francisco. who knows what might happen in that sh!thole
How the heck is OP idiot in the Montana story just because he won’t accommodate some annoying hippies? And these hippies are not very nice to OP so how is he the AH again. These people either don’t know how to read or just ignoring texts just like what most of Reddit does. ignores important stuff Also in the second story that son needs to grow up. And people of Reddit needs to stop treating heartbreak as if the world revolves around a person who is heartbroken. Reality check I’ve also been heartbroken to but you don’t see me trying to demand things from other people. Never date your siblings friend, it’s the same that never date your boss or coworker it’s gonna bring nothing but drama. OP tried to warn the son but he didn’t listen so these are the consequences. All these yta comments can go cry to their mommy’s.
It' because they believe atheists or vegans are happier/smarter than religious and meat eating people or they're the "I've never met an atheist I didn't like". Sad but true, I saw it.
Story 1: Bold of the dad to ask if OP was choosing a dog over him when he picked his affair partner over OP. I'd have responded "of course, the dog is loyal unlike some people."
Up the sting: "Yes. I'm choosing family over you" (only a bio dad; not even legally the father due to legally being declared as such)
This! He should've said that!! That dog has more loyalty then his sucky dad..
I'd choose my dog over my dad. He never cheated but he's an asshole 😂😂😂
🔥🔥🔥🔥
"Well, you chose a sow over us..."
"Are you choosing a dog over me?"
"Yes"
🤣 🤣 🤣
After all, he chose his bitch over them.
The dog is loyal and consistently shown OP love. The dad can’t say that
It takes a lot of nerve to expect someone to get rid of a dog in a home you will never be in.
I mean the dog was there for op so..yeah!!!
"Dad said I should be nicer to her if I wanted a relationship with him." Oh, brother, what a straight line. Next he should hit himself in the face with a pie. And bravo to your Mom , who , as one commenter pointed out, played this exactly right.
You almost wet yourself too? 😂 Same. I'm gonna be thinking about that line next time I'm washing the plates 😂
Cheaters are so BOLD. They really do have some audacity.
I think OP was pretty tame with the response. That could have been way worse.
“I don’t want a relationship with you. Mom just asked me to at least TRY to reconnect with you.”
Dad seriously misread the room and actually thought he had leverage with OP when he made that demand. Sometimes that reality check hits hard. As for mom, I like her final response. She knows 1 son is officially an adult and OP is 16 so it's no longer on her to facilitate any sort of relationship between them and their father.
So, the child-bride was 22 when the dad married her? That means she was probably even younger when he started grooming her, assuming she started babysitting OP as a teen. The dad is disgusting either way, and OP is better off without him around.
You’re assuming a lot.
@@elisejackson2854not really, OP would’ve been 12 when they got married, its not too wild to assume she’d been babysitting him for a few years by the time they got married
_"So you're choosing the dog over me??"_
"Yup."
[surprised Pinkachu face]
If she wants them to have tofurkey then she can make it. As for your house, wtf no way. You don't change your house because someone doesn't like it.
Agreed these people sound obnoxious. But this being Reddit of course people are going to make OP out to be the bad guy
Guarantee if the wifes family were gun loving, Jesus shouting carnivorous republicans there would be a clean sweep to keep them out of the house. OP is a reasonable person who isn’t forcing his beliefs on anyone. These are just people who just love the poke the bear. And then cry victim when the person defends themselves.
Last commentor was odd... She knew what kind of man she was marrying and commentor thinks she was somehow tricked into that life.
And yes. She can make tofu replacement for her family. And make sure her family doesn't sling any insult about animal based foods
@@duckeh1952Oh, that's because there's no sane reason why anyone would choose to be conservative or christian. Right?
If inlaws or anyone causes problems, expects you to change your home, cater to their preferences and refuse to compromise AND are nasty to you and make fun of you, why have them over to your home? Meet them at a restaurant or something for a short visit. Disrespectful people and their toxic, bad vibes shouldn't be in your home.
It's not just his home. It's his wife's aswell . He is not an ass for how he is treating his inlaws he is an ass for how he is treating his wife. He is being disrespectful to her and showing her his need to stuck it to his inlaws is more important than her. Nothing the wife is asking for is extreme.
If her parents were Jewish would you not expect them to serve a main other than pork. If your partner askes you to take down decor that will make her family uncomfortable and cause her issues is that not fair seeing it is her house aswell.
@@cheekyftoro8962 I disagree. With her demands the wife supports the toxic behavior of her family. THAT is unacceptable. Her family should even be invited to the house after all of that. They can either meet at a restaurant or the wife an visit her family on her own.
But I honestly think, that the wife is disrespectful to her husband by subjugating him to her toxic family.
I doubt you would have seen all those y t a answers if it was a conservative family vesting a hippie liberal vegan o p.
That story is rage bait. It’s not real.
@@Crispbleach That may or may not be. But what if someone is a very similar situation. What would you advise him to do?
In-laws Are Rude: Why isn't the wife putting a stop to her families disrespectful comments towards her husband and if they dont like the decor in his home, they shouldn't be going there!!
Last: NTA. Wife is putting her *WANTS* before the *NEEDS* of the family.
No jump in pay, gone half the time.
Wife: "But, I want to travel."
Husband: "And I do not want to raise 3 kids, all under the age of 7, by myself for half the time or more. I would rather divorce you and use the child support & alimony money I'll get from you to get a nanny."
Story 1: NTA, and why bother having a relationship with the "baby bride"? OP's dad is totally gonna dump her soon so he can score himself an even younger and more fertile bride ... if anything OP better be careful not to let his dad pick him up from school, he might scope out his son's classmates for said replacement.
Minor elephant in the room: dad is 47 and wants to have another child? This all sounds like a bid to make the ex-wife wrong and to somehow have a "do over" of his younger days. But a new kid will be just out of high school when he's retiring. Is he honestly going to be chasing after a toddler when he's 50? He sounds selfish and immature (despite his age).
I've mellowed out with age but as a 16 year old I was dangerous and vicious myself. I would have smiled at the ex baby sitter and dad and told them "it takes one to know one seeing as he's a cheating dog and she's a clueless bitch." 😅
Well you'd have been wrong anyway, can't be a bitch unless you can get pregnant
Ooh, gonna need some aloe vera for a BURN like that 🤣
Story 3: are you talking about there are vegan options, and they're welcome to bring something. I don't see why OP needs to change the main dish because too ignorant people that can't accept over lifestyles exist, we'll be upset when they're the only ones that want a tofu turkey. They're going to insult you even if they don't see any of that stuff on the wall, and your wife needs to stop trying to tiptoe around the issue and call her parents for being so disrespectful to you. They don't have to hide their beliefs or make changes for your sake, why should you?
Yeah, seems like it's one where you can make both and keep them from pushing theirs on other people at the thanksgiving meal there.
Adding a tofurkey or something like it to the meal rather than replacing things isn't that big of a thing, but I would refuse to redecorate the house for their visit...
My opinion of these issues is if you’re the aggressor, you’re the asshole. OP‘s wife’s family continually insulted him, trying to get him to fight. He doesn’t bite, so they keep going. At this point if OP‘s wife is demanding that they accommodate, her crappy parents, I think OP may need to reconsider the marriage. It sounds like he and his wife get along, but if she really cares about what her parents think that much, then this is unsustainable.
He should just accept the win & be graceful about it. Meaning, make a 2nd main dish & be kind when telling his wife he won't redecorate. His wife chose him & his lifestyle. Her parents do need to accept their daughter's partner/choices, but it's hard for parents when their kid rejects their religion & everything they believe in. Wife is struggling bc she wants to still have the love of her family. Families can be stressful & complicated.
1st Story: NTA It's so weird when estranged parents come popping back into their kids lives expecting to pick up where they last left off. OP already has a mom and doesn't need another one.
They think their kids are toys they can play with for a while then put back on the shelf
And the do over should’ve stayed in her lane. Like no where near OP.
...and most definitely doesn't "need mom" who is only 8 years older than him and young enough to be his sister/dad's daughter since age gap is 21Years
Sometimes I really wonder at the audacity of cheaters. They really do have extraordinary boldness. If I, some how cheat on my husband and destroy my family, I wonder if I would walk around with my head held high & even demand for things as if the world owes me something or if I would be so ashamed that I would never venture outside but then again, being a cheater requires a lot of courage to be a filthy and despicable human being. OP's dad is not only a cheater who wrecked his family but a deadbeat who abandoned his children. If his affair partner was fertile, am sure he would be walking around feeling like he did nothing wrong.
You said exactly what he needed to hear. To be honest if he had that other kids he wouldn't have been there his new family would have been all that matter. You made him look in the mirror and he did not like what he saw
Montana: The YTA is very strange. Her family constantly berates OP, and he just lets it slide. I can't see any possible reason to invite them to his hunting lodge, just so they can bug him some more. For there to be friction there needs to be contact. Separate visits for sure.
It’s (and this is probably a reach) due to the fact REDDIT usually is used by liberals and democrats, anything republican usually will lead to hate, so any instance of disagreement usually is decided “who won” based on belief systems alone
Yep, militant, vegan, atheist are the exact kind of people who start crap and then play victim when people don't cater to them.
The wife knows her family is the problem and can't or won't do anything about it so she expects her husband to change to make things easier for her
Yeah, the wife’s family is a prime example of those who scream about tolerance being the least tolerant of other people’s values/beliefs.
I’m wondering if they gave OP the AH rating because they fixated on how he rants about in-laws beliefs all while ignoring the in-laws ignorance
OP with the vegan in-laws is not the A-hole. He should not have to change the decor of his home for guests. He can have vegan options, one main dish and a few side dishes in large enough quantities that they won't run out of non vegans try them. If the in-laws get preechy about being vegan and bring up religion, they can be asked to leave.
Story 3: NTA. So basically she just wants you to re decorate your home “To keep the peace”. I hate to break it to your Wife but even if you went all out for their sake they’d still fine something to complain about. You aren’t disturbing the peace.
she agreed not to change the house
but the tofurkey crap was where he lost all credibility.
@@GiordanDiodatowhy can't she cook it for her family? I wouldn't do a damn thing for them if that's how they treated me.
@@Cruz2917 That’s a good point. One Turkey is already a lot of work.
I thought it would have lead to wife removing the items against OPs wishes.
@@GiordanDiodato I question his credibility from the start with "Militant vegan and atheist". 9 times out of 10 this is mainly used to put the put into a hostile light and make the speaker seem more like a victim. I wouldn't be surprised if he left out how rude and hostile he is around them.
Story 2: if this was the daughter and her brother’s friend broke up with her you would not allow that boy in the house. If this was my brother I would tell my friend that at this moment it would not be okay to hang out at my house and maybe we should go to her house instead of letting her come over while my brother’s heart is broken. One day the mom and sister are going to wonder why the brother wants nothing to do with them anymore.
The ex was stalking girlfriend’s Facebook…she played around and found out. If ex wants fun she can get it. That relationship is over and she needs to move on. She sounds obnoxious.
I really like how all the commenters assumed she left him when the evidence says he left her. She's the one cyberstalking him. She's the one telling the kids about her dreams of getting back together with him. Each of those things by themselves tell me he left her but taking together it is pretty clear
@@Mewse1203also sounds like he is fun, few weekends a month dad and left all childcare and responsibilities to ex.
She cannot have fun weekends because she's single parent due op dropping his 50% of responsibilities. No wonder ex is bitter
It actually says she wanted divorce. No wonder if he didn't bother doing anything to upkeep the relationship and i have feeling she left him because she was basically single parent while being married.
@@duckeh1952it wasn’t all of his fault.
Story 1....she is 26 now, been gone for more than 4 years.... How old was she when they got involved?
22. Dad's probably gonna start dating an 18-year-old next.
@darkmask5933 Heck, she was likely younger when they first hooked up since OP was 12 when they ran off together, so 18 to 20. The dad likes them young. Regardless of her age back then, she has serious gall to be making demands to the kid she helped her husband betray.
To the response of "You're choosing a dog over me." I swear I would have replied. "Well you chose a dog over me, I think it's fair but then again I don't want to compare my dog to that b*tch."
Although maybe that's harsh to the dog.
Last story: She just doesn't want to be married or a parent anymore.
This is very possible. Traveling for work is exhausting. Jet lag is a real problem for almost everyone. She'd be home 1-2 weeks a month, not necessarily sequentially, and be totally checked out. Even if she doesn't consciously want to not be a parent/partner, the result of this kind of position will bring about the same result.
But they could be from some corn husker state where their horizons are unchanging, and she's desperate for a change of scenery. If so, she lacks imagination on the realities of traveling for work. The idea that a person will see the world on the company's dime is an delusional as believing Uncle Sam when the poster states: See the world. Join the Army. A military barracks anywhere in the world looks the same; the temperature, humidity, and number of bugs are the only variables that change.
#2. Never mess with your siblings friends. Its rarely pretty. Even when it works out your sibling looses a friend.
My brother married my best friend. Their divorce drove me mad with both of them trying to put me in the middle. Lost a friend and wad low contact with bro for 3 years
I told my brother i talked to a old friend of his, he immidiatly said he was not the right guy for me. i was like 'okaaay' it was a few days later that i realized he was in big brother mode and knowing this guy was nice but not the mostly stabelist he did not want me to date him. the funny part was i was not even interested i just wanted to tell him i ran into a friend of his lol
My sister dated one of my buds from high school. Ended up not working out as a lot of young love doesn't. She ended up meeting her husband a year or two later and they celebrated 40 years together this past January. He found his match about 5 years later and the only reason they didn't attend my wedding was they were in the process of moving to New Mexico a few weeks before the wedding. We've stayed in touch these 47 years through both of us becoming widowers though while back in our home state we're on opposite ends of the state with health issues so it's mostly contact by phone to check in on each other.
@@Arylwren1yup this is exactly why it shouldn’t happen. EVERYONE suffers when things go left.
Story 3: NTA. There so many post where people say the partner needs to handle their own family. Yet here the wife gets a pass? How is OP supposed to be cordial with the people who constantly make fun of him for who he is? OP should’ve left that crap long ago.
Nope...NTA...as a fellow Montanan...dont change dookie for them. You can let wifey make her tofurkie but don't change anything else. They can take their ideas and leave them at the door.
Darn right!
If Montana wasn't so cold for part of the year, I'd live there. It's a beautiful state with not a whole lot of people.
They could make the tofurky and whatever turducken combo OP was planning together. Sounds to me like the vegan in laws don't even want non vegan items on the table. Toxic and controlling for huests
Story 3, the family and wife are the AITA, OP has been having to deal with verbal abuse and taunts by wife's family. Those people reminds me of my bullies, claim to be very liberal and loving but are toxic and closet bigots.
Honestly, I would like to hear the story from the in-laws perspective. Just from the tone of his post op as an asshole
I bet you that they would slander him and say lies about him
You can tolerate so much abuse before you snap back, bet you they’ll act the victim when OP defend himself
@@Mewse1203 I’m sure they’re very lovely,” tolerant “ progressive liberals who “love”, “support, and respect everyone and everyone. Just as long as they agree with them in way, shape and form unconditionally and without out question. OP doesn’t have to and shouldn’t have to put up with a bunch self righteous ,blowhards who are arrogant enough to think and believe that they way of life is some how more superior. They sound insufferable.
Jealous ex story: IMO whether or not OP could've been better to his ex when they were together, and whether or not he's treating his new gf better, is entirely irrelevant. They're not together anymore, how he treats his new gf is none of the ex's business. I get the hurt she was feeling, but she's TA for trying to make those feelings her ex's problem. That's the kind of thing you vent with your BFFs or therapist and otherwise keep your mouth shut about, not something you talk to your ex or your kids about.
Guarantee that if it was the daughter who dated her brother's best friend and got broken up with the op wouldn't be telling her to suck it up and just move on
Exactly everyone would be empathetic.
Story 1: NTA. It’s pronounced “Blunt”. Not “Cruel”.
Yeah, and even if someone could consider what OP said as cruel, it's nowhere near as cruel as abandoning your wife and kids to bang the babysitter.
Yes. 🎯
The pathetic jealous ex whining about op's new relationship is soooo funny
That trashy father lost his place as a father when he put his lust over his family. The affair partner is trashy as well. Cheating is EVIL!
Also choose your faithful pets over crappy relatives. Parents don’t get a free pass to be evil.
Story 1, you are the Boss, loving your shiny backbone
3:13 I heard a strong emotion from the narrator from the way how he said yes.
Montana marriage- Buddy, offer a vegan main dish and tell them this atheist says that they are being disrespectful and rude towards others and that ISNT what an atheist should act like. Let others live the way they want to live. Personal choice, regardless whether they approve or not. We all deserve the right to live the way that makes us happy. They need to understand that. And save some turducken for me!
Idk why you should cater to assholes
"So, you're choosing the dog over me?"
"Woof!"
Story 1: LOOOL “if you want a relationship with me you will listen to her demands”
“i DONT want a relationship with you…”
**shocked pikachu face**
The absolute AUDACITY of this man…
NTA Op and good for you.
An odd Reddit take. So the son got dumped, his now ex goes off on holiday, and a fortnight later said ex is yukking it up in his home? Were I the ex, I'd probably not want to be around him for a while and meet my friend elsewhere. Some odd dynamics in that family.
ex is his sister's best friend, that's why
@@GiordanDiodatostill weird as heck
She wanted to not be in a relationship for the trip.😢
Mama: "As long as you are with that boy, you are not dancing or walking with or talking to, any other boys! That's cheating!"😮
The girl wants him back. Maybe just young maybe she's sorry maybe a user, who knows at this point. But she wants him to see her & miss her😢
@@GiordanDiodato Annnd? What law states that they can’t meet at the best friends house for a month or two. Or a coffee shop. Or pretty much anywhere than the home of the person the best friend dumped a fortnight ago. It troubles me that some don’t see how odd it is that the best friend was at all comfortable being in the same house as him so soon. Most women or men would stay well away from the partner they dumped for at least a few months.
@Sir_Gerald_Nosehairs. Exactly. All of this. If the kid lived out of the house, he'd at least be able to stay away from his ex for a while, but because he still lives at home, he has to suck it up? He should be allowed not to be around his ex and OP shouldn't be putting the ex above their own son.
Sort of a similar story excpet mine goes on for years.. When i was 16, i got into a relationship with the daughter of my parent's friends. They have known each other for at least 20 years. My father even dated my Ex's mother's sister when they were young. We broke up when i was 18. Hurt like crazy. Its been 43 years since i have seen her. My sister and her sister were friends for years afterward although it diminished many years ago. Our parents still see each other all the time although both of our fathers have now passed away. . Her parents came to my wedding and my parents went to her wedding. And yet after all this time, we have never seen or spoken with each other. I do see her parents maybe 4 times a year and her sister maybe once every 3 or 4 years. Her father died and i went to the funeral although ironically enough she wasn't there because of some issues. . My mother still spends time with her mother and was invited to the wedding of my Ex's son.
My grandparents divorced when my grandmother did the me or the dog. My grandfather chose the dog. (There were other issues but this was the final straw).
My grandmother hated dogs and would yell at my dog to get off the furniture. My dog just ignored her. It was funny.
Yup NTA. OP’s dad chose his new young wife over his family so why should OP choose his his selfish father over his faithful dog?
Story 3: the biggest AH in this story is the wife, if I’m understanding everything correctly.
Her family are the ahs, she's just an enabler. OP should be ready to get a divorce lawyer because their marriage won't make it through Thanksgiving. I get why the wife wants to have a relationship with HER family, but then why marry OP? Why change him if she married him for who he is, especially if HER family absolutely despise him? The wife can't have her "tofurkey" and eat it, too. And the commenters bashing OP for hating on his wife's family, well why wouldn't he? They sound like the kind of people who scream into an echo chamber and call it "Other people's opinions." I wouldn't like them either if they constantly give me crap for my lifestyle. I would not trust them into my house, not even for a quick visit, and neither should OP
@nicksuazo4377 Could it be he's wealthy?
@elalogar7340 If that were the case, the in-laws would have been kissing ass instead of talking BS.
Story 4 , we don't know what the before situation was with the ex wife. She left him and yes he could have neglected her, or she wanted something she didn't communicate to him. I have been in that situation you can do all you think and they want something not communicated. Also this is a different relationship, yes the train hopping was irresponsible, he has children so that was stupid. However it is a different relationship so things are different. I have an SO now and things I did for my ex I don't do for my current GF.
Also the fact the ex told the kids she had a dream getting back together with OP and her stalking the IG says a lot about the ex and her mind. She may regret leaving and not talking and trying to make it work. He didn't ask for the divorce and there was nothing said that she talked about her wanting more from him.
Story 1 - ‘Are you really choosing a dog over your father?’
Child - ‘Didn’t you choose a b*tch over all of us, Dad?’
*hangs up*
Story 1: If I had to guess mom felt like she had to play nice because she thought it was best to have both parents in their life, and more than likely some guilt tripping from dad. But I feel like the slut should have known not to speak unless spoken to, and especially not to insult the parent that was actually around. It's always amazing to me when you have people that truly believe the people they screwed over are just going to take them back as if none of the crap they did happened. Your brother may want to play nice but you don't owe him anything, and you are a good son for not letting them come in and insult your mom for having a dog, and I'm pretty sure one visit does not mean she truly knows if the dog was deadly.
I don't know what a bison ranch is, but that sounds friggin badass.
It's a ranch that raises bison instead of cattle. Pretty much the same except bison require some specialized equipment and chutes to work them.
Montana/Cali story: NTA! the wife could cook for her family. But she wants OP to do it as a facade. Show her family that “hey HES getting better”. Nah. If the wife wants a tofu turkey SHE can make it. Id never cook for people that continuously try to bully me over my beliefs.
Exactly, it's her job to deal with HER family. SHE needs to make the comments stop and she needs to stand up for herself and her husband. And if she wants her family to feel included she needs to make the vegan food.
How to invalidate your kids feelings 101
Story 4:
Number One issue, why is your ex stalking your girlfriend 🤮 and two, no two relationships are ever the same, we usually improve ourselves or change the type of person we want in our lives. Your ex needs to butt out of your relationship immediately.
There is nothing wrong with having an “adventure,” it DOESN’T make you irresponsible or immature.
Thats what i’m saying why is she so concerned about what her ex and his new girl are up to, maybe find your own adventure
@@dudesinashoe7812
I think that’s her problem, she needs to stop focusing on the ex and focus on finding someone new.
Vegan story- NTA. Imagine if it was a jewish household, or any other religon. Asking someone to take down their religous items is an aH move. The wife is an AH
Story 3: NTA and op isn’t in the wrong . Op is right to snap at her
So the ex left because he treated her like a roommate who's an afterthought. He made sure to treat the next one like a partner he actually likes. He basically said he did it because she's small and likes the way she looks. Meanwhile, the ex is raising the kids. So yeah, makes sense that the ex feels put out.
Ahh but what about the dream? AND telling the kids? OP might want to ask himself the question that our narrator always asks, "Am I the Idiot?" Yah you are, she wants OP Back. It was in the dream she had before the fun trip OP & GF went on, even said "I don't no y she toad the kids" Dude!
She didn't leave because she didn't love him. She was tired of the lack of everything. The person he acts like now is who she wanted while she was with him. Once he weighs this one down with kids and responsibilities, he'll stop treating her that way, too. Because then, she'll no longer be tinier and fun. She'll grow up.
@@EnDBno he won’t because he changed his ways
🤣🤣🤣you sweet summer's child
I mean I can understand why she’s upset. It’s completely understandable, but idk if OP is an AH because he changed his behavior after life basically said “Dude you gotta be different”
Traveling for work as I have done for many years is not that fun. I am always on a tight schedule to get things done not to mention cancelled flights and airport delays. Many times there is not enough to fit in anything fun in.
Train hopping dad story: I like how all the comments are assuming despite the evidence in the post, that she left him. She's the one that cyberstalking him. She's the one that is telling her kids she wants to get back together. Those two things by themselves tell me that he left her and she's not happy about it. Together....
Edit: I somehow missed that she asked for divorce. Still, the rest stands.
The post explicitly stated that she was the one that wanted the divorce actually, at the very beginning 😊
@@megangwilliam5343 you're right, I missed that.
@megangwilliam5343 yeah...if you read my comment, I say that 🤣
@@Mewse1203 …you mean after you edited it? You even put “Edit” for the new info? I do agree that every other part of your comment is still valid
@@megangwilliam5343 I edited it WAY before you commented...
My Lord people are stupid. Commenter said yta because he ignored what his wife wanted, while she was ignoring what he wanted!
Story 1 - OP NTA - Nope, you didn't say anything that wasn't TRUE. If your father and his new baby bride's feelings got hurt that is THEIR PROBLEM and not yours. Maybe now he can get the real hint that you want nothing to do with him. As for your brother, have a talk with him and make him understand that the same way you respect how he feels about your sperm donor, HE should respect how you feel about the sperm donor and his wife. That he may want a relationship with his father, but you don't. By the way, great choice picking the dog over the sperm donor. I would've done the same LMAO!
Story 2 - OP NTA - He is just salty because she was the one who dumped him. I bet you anything that if it was the other way around your son wouldn't be throwing temper tantrums.
Story 3 - OP NTA - Why is almost everybody making it seem like OP's wife is some kind of poor damsel in distress in the middle of feud that has nothing to do with her? While is true that they all have their differences, OP's wife has allowed HER family to mock and disrespect OP for a long time. Come, they even accused OP of "brainwashing" their daughter FFS. OP's wife should be the one setting boundaries with HER parents.
Story 4 - OP NTA - Tell your ex that you are doing what any smart people do after a broken relationship/divorce, you learned to do things differently with your new partner. That's how it is supposed to be. You can't go living your life making the same mistakes over, and over again. Reiterate to her that you are not saying that your marriage to her was a mistake, but the truth is that it didn't work, and you are a different person now and that is not a bad thing.
Story 5 - OP NTA - So, you are unsupportive because you gave your honest opinion about her taking a job that pays the same as the one she has now with the only difference that she will be TRAVELING and be away from you and the kids for 50-70% of the time ad she is upset? OP if your wife wanted to see the world, she should've done that BEFORE having kids. The icing on the cake, she is now mad and throwing a temper tantrum because you don't want to support her idiotic dream to see the world on somebody else's dime. RME! Time for your wife to join the real world and think about what is important here... HER CHILDREN.
Train hoping story. NTA your wife initiated the divorce instead of talking about her issues then gets her feelings hurt when you move on
Ex husband , ex wife and girlfriend story... if you're spending time/days with your kids and giving them the child support, after the divorce which your ex wife wanted. Then NTA.... she's upset and bitter that another person is making you happy and in return you're doing things for her off your own back..... for me if she wanted you to do nice things for her in the marriage give you a reason to do so....
I dont understand why OP still married his wife when he met her parents and learned her parents and family were a bunch of YTA!
Probably dodnt think hed see them so much. He married his wife, not her parents.
For the first comment on the story about OP's ex feeling jealous over their new GF.
Train hopping is taking multiple trains not actually jumping from train to train.
It sure sounded like they were doing the illegal line of train hopping, since he said the trip was free, IIRC.
@@BlazeOnMars i missed that part about the it being free.
@@blackrex828 I getcha, it was a quick reference and easy to miss, for sure.
@@BlazeOnMars yeah, I gotta pay attention better because I missing info like I didn't know there was an age gap between OP and his new GF
@@blackrex828it's an age gap of 8yrs so not huge given he's 35. As for the train hoping that is risky but he wants to adventurous now with the new girlfriend. The ex is the one who initiated their divorce.
Story 3:
OH HELL NO! I am NOT conservative at all! But if OP wants to live his life with taxidermy heads on the walls and he’s Christian, that’s who he is. His wife knows this and shouldn’t try to change him or the home. I don’t see a problem offering a couple of vegan options for the meal but everything else I would say no.
Nta. It's your house and your in laws sound like nightmares. Your wife should have your back
Oh my God to the woman whose man is telling him you should be cuddling your son and treating you like the little baby is. That's how kids grow up to be weak and entitled and can't deal with life.
Wife needs to tell her family to show respect to her husband in their own home or not come by. I cannot imagine someone being rude to my wife in our home & sitting back. She needs to support him. Other story. The dog was more LOYAL than the dad
Dont usually double comment but also; op in the second to last story is asking if he’s the idiot for treating his girlfriend well and maybe he was a monster to his ex but the fact of the matter is how he treats his current partner is NONE of her business. Who are these people that would just… allow an ex to interrogate them about this? “How come you didnt do xyz why didnt you treat me to this why didnt we etcetcetc” uhmmm well 1st why are you stalking my partner and second what i do with them and why is none of your concern. Crazy people man
One thing I love about relationship stories is how most of Reddit acts like women are entitled to pampering and 110% effort from their men, but if a man wants anything done for him, pampering etc, he must be a misogynist. Wife: “take care of all the kids after a 12 hour shift, then make me dinner and clean for me.” Reddit: “you totally should!” Hubby: “can you make me lunch when the games on?”
Reddit: “you pig divorce isn’t enough you should die alone.” The stalking ex story is this in a nutshell. The new girl gets more because she shows APPRECIATION, and makes things fun. The ex DEMANDED it because she believed she was ENTITLED to that treatment as his wife. And as Tony soprano once said, “you’re entitled to shit.”
Regarding OP’s Vegan inlaws: OP is NTA. They badger him while he doesn’t take the bait. I think this request is just another way they are trying to goad him into a fight. I suggest a compromise. Make them a tasty vegan option but OP gets to keep his decor intact. If they cannot accept that, then go NC.
1 story he is NTA, he spoke the truth they have been trying to replace him, but can't and honestly he shouldn't be forced to play nice with people who abandoned him, try to replace him and be down right disrespectful to him and his doggo in his home, so naw nta and if they don't like it well the door is that way.
Story 1, a golden retriever is vicious and dangerous for a 16 year old? 😂
IKR? Golden retrievers are the go-to dogs for service animals for the disabled because they're so gentle. The dad's gf is trying to exert control over OP'S home
The first story- the OP is absolutely NOT the a-hole. Demanding you change your home and food preferences is ridiculous. However, making an additional vegan option for the in-laws would show who has more class in family and who is a petty, militant twit.
That's not the first story
Story one. Yes I picked someone else like you did with mom. Tell him to come back after four years and we'll see how I feel then
Story 3 NTA The wife family are a bunch of bullies AH I don't even understand why OP even invited them when we all can see this thanksgiving is going to be a disaster with wife and OP family coming together in one roof not good.
Story 4: NTA and op isn’t in the wrong . The ex is a big fat grouch
Story 2:
OP is NOT wrong, the son just needs to realize that you don’t eat where you sh!t. He’s young and will get over it in about a week. OP told him what would happen, but of course teenagers never want to listen. That’s called growing up and getting hurt, it happens to everyone.
OP is wrong. I told you so or not, her daughter can hangout with her friend at her friends house for now, break ups are never easy and this just further proves how people are dismissive of men/boys feelings. You know as well as I if this was flipped people would be empathetic towards the daughter’s first heartbreak.
Maybe not ask favors of a kid that your new wife just told you that your mother is a bad parent
Taylor can have her friend over when she wants. They were friends first. The brother is immature for sure.
OP1: Yes, sperm donor, the child you abandoned for a young whoo-ah is choosing his pet over you.
Final Story: NTA. If this is her dream then you can find a way to make that happen. But the reality is that right now this is not the best decision for the kids. Maybe when they are more independent you can explore this, but it’s far from selfish to ask your partner to be with you right now.
I'd have said yes, some dogs are filthy and shouldn't be around children, looked at the dad and said so why don't you take yours outside? 😏
Story 4: NTA. Ya maybe you could have done more for her. But did she inspire you to do more? This reminds me of a story where a man was complaining about his Wife, how he wish she was better than she is now. Only to be practically forced to act better himself and get that woman. I’m not saying she was the whole problem, I just think she believes she was cheated out of something that didn’t have the chance to bloom.
Look, yes when feasible it's great to be able to support your spouse to "bloom", but there's also something called being called a parent, and having three kids in kindergarten age and younger you have to make sacrifices. The job pays worse, is farther away, and has bad benefits but it allows the wife to ditch the family for weeks at a time, that does not sound like a good job for the family. Doesn't matter if it was husband or wife taking it.
@@darkmask5933 I think you have the wrong story Hun.
So if a woman wants some affection, she needs to "inspire" the man? What don't we women have to handhold a man through?
@@lovinglifebutnotonearth3909it’s called getting back what you put in. So if she wasn’t acting loving and appreciative of the small things why would he go out of his way to do bigger things? The same goes for her, if OP wasn’t equally appreciative that may have had an impact on what she was putting out.
Story1: Op's dad is delusional if he thinks this is about the dog (and who voices safety issues over a SIXTEEN YEAR OLD having a golden retriever, of all things?!?!?!)
Train hopping isn’t as dangerous as driving a car. He is not a bad person for train hopping.
Maybe he wasn’t good to his ex and if so that sucks. But she needs to let it go, she’s not with him anymore. She has a right to feel hurt but not to dictate what he’s doing with his girlfriend and she has no reason to be stalking his girlfriend’s social media. If she wasn’t doing that she wouldn’t even know.
Why does OP1's dad need another kid? Didn't he just marry one?
Story 1, your mother allowing your father to bring his homewrecking wife into your home should be an issue. Is she a doormat, she should be more protective of you and her own pride.
First story. If op really wanted to mess with his sperm donors partner. Just say. When you marry your affair partner you create a vacancy.
Am I the only one wondering why people who eat meat and people who are militantly vegan are coming together on a major food holiday? Have some tofu the weekend before, not on actual Thanksgiving. and turkey on actual Thanksgiving. Or gather with OP's family for turkey the weekend before and in-laws on Thanksgiving. But there is no way in hell I'd be hiding who I am, especially my religious beliefs, to appease anyone. Ever. I'd be needing a deep conversation with my partner to understand what their thinking on this is about. The goal is to have a close relationship with her family. Awesome. But why would that require hiding who we are? On any level but especially to the huge degree OP's partner thinks it needs to happen. Just to be accepted by her family. Shouldn't they accept her just because she is family?
S1: NTA and you were kinder than I would have been. I would have said: "That dog is part of this family. He/She is a well-behaved, loyal and would never hurt me, which is more than I can say for you two. And why would I want to take the advice of a woman who sleeps with a married man with a family. You may think that the blame solely falls on my father, but you are a grown woman who made that decision. If you want to play happy families, get a surrogate or adopt. Don't wait too long though. If he can replace the mother of his child and abandon his children, what's keeping him attached to you?"
"Are you choosing your dog over me?"
"No, of course not, I'm choosing the peace and contentment that I know without you over the drama and conflict that comes from a relationship with you."
Wow, that Montana man had me so solidly and then lost me so quick.
"My wife wanted to redecorate the house but it's my home."
"It's "our" home, that's what putting that ring on her finger meant buddy. But fine, you have a moral objection to redecorating for the comfort of your wife, fine fine."
"She also wanted me to make a ridiculous meal that meets the dietary restrictions of many, if not possibly most, of our guests."
"That MONSTER!"
The guy is quickly approaching the point where he becomes a part of a Goldilocks story that his ex-wife repeats to her friends in Northern California while talking about how her new husband is just right. And not because he clearly has no respect for her family, but because he has no respect for her.
As I see it, the are not compatible. I don't understand why she even married him and moved to his place.
Story 2, dude divorce that woman she didn’t care about you.
You don’t know that
Story 1 NTA Once the dad realize he can't have do over kids with his baby bride now he wants a relationship with his sons you sir are a major AH as for the baby bride the whole nerve of her to come into somebody home especially the home of the woman she fuck over and talk about how they shouldn't have a dog and that she a bad mom like how dare you lady what goes on in somebody home ain't your damn business but you wouldn't know that since you love being in and destroying a home.
1st story. Hurray for mom, do not play nice. Not required.
NTA in story 1.
Story 2 INFO: I wonder how the OP would feel if her daughter was broken up by one of her son's friends and her daughter demanded that her son's friend be banned from the home? Would she tell her daughter to just get over it? I bet not
Taxidermy is creepy
Story 3: Of all the things that have never happened, this never happened the most.
But the Californian, atheist, liberal vegans were going to FORCE this manly, Christian, Montana rancher to bake a tofurkey in his own home! How can you be so dismissive?!
1st : NTA
karma hits hard
im thinking montana man should send his wife to california for every holiday. problem solved. he should get life insurance on her too before she goes to San Francisco. who knows what might happen in that sh!thole
Story with Montana thanksgiving NTA.
Story 1…why would mom
Let that man come within a mile of her kids? No
1st OP should have told his dad you Chose a female dog over me
How the heck is OP idiot in the Montana story just because he won’t accommodate some annoying hippies? And these hippies are not very nice to OP so how is he the AH again. These people either don’t know how to read or just ignoring texts just like what most of Reddit does. ignores important stuff
Also in the second story that son needs to grow up. And people of Reddit needs to stop treating heartbreak as if the world revolves around a person who is heartbroken. Reality check I’ve also been heartbroken to but you don’t see me trying to demand things from other people. Never date your siblings friend, it’s the same that never date your boss or coworker it’s gonna bring nothing but drama. OP tried to warn the son but he didn’t listen so these are the consequences. All these yta comments can go cry to their mommy’s.
It' because they believe atheists or vegans are happier/smarter than religious and meat eating people or they're the "I've never met an atheist I didn't like". Sad but true, I saw it.