If You Love Them, Let Them Go

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  • Опубликовано: 26 ноя 2024

Комментарии • 652

  • @brinselyseven5530
    @brinselyseven5530 2 года назад +77

    I chose our marriage therapist based on the fact that his motto is, "I am not on her side, nor am I on his side. I am on the side of your marriage." I was sold : )

  • @12trijavirgo18
    @12trijavirgo18 5 лет назад +565

    You can't fight for someone unless they're willing to get in the ring with you!

    • @MikeJackson690
      @MikeJackson690 5 лет назад +26

      Exactly. If you try to fight on your own they become repelled and run further. If one or the other is not willing to fight then there's nothing the fighter can do. It just looks 'desperate' if they try.

    • @natalia7112
      @natalia7112 5 лет назад +4

      @@MikeJackson690 Exactly!

    • @padilla23
      @padilla23 5 лет назад +1

      12trija Virgo1 🤣🤣👆🏽👆🏽

    • @skryvazena6548
      @skryvazena6548 5 лет назад +1

      It's true...

    • @corey8711
      @corey8711 4 года назад +7

      Depends on how you fight, and why you found yourself in a position that requires a fight.

  • @michaelg.5650
    @michaelg.5650 4 года назад +58

    If you love yourself let them go. There is nothing less meaningful and unattractive than somebody pursuing or chasing a loved one who broke off a relationship or doesn’t want to be in a relationship with you any longer. The best and only thing you can do if you still have loving feelings and hope that this person may eventually change their mind and want to come back, is to become the very best version of yourself and put yourself in a position where you love you again and willing to become the best person you know your capable of being. Physically mentally and spiritually you must transform your self into the best version of you. This will ultimately make you more attractive, self-confident, and just happier in general. Eventually you will get to the point that if that person doesn’t come back or still has no interest in you, then it won’t bother you as much knowing that you are the best version of who you possibly can be and you will start attracting new People into your life and new love interests. Then when you have time to reflect your wonder to yourself why you were so hung up on that person who didn’t ever really want you in the first place! What a waste of time! They never gave you a 2nd thought or had any concern toward you, so you just wasted valuable time you could’ve been working on being your better self.

    • @snoopyw6589
      @snoopyw6589 4 года назад +3

      Michael Gessinger my husband’s friends are telling him there biased opinions. Listen to a person who is unbiased. Because this person sounds biased

  • @shaishavgandhi
    @shaishavgandhi 4 года назад +76

    You can only save someone who wants to be saved !

  • @josephsm2412
    @josephsm2412 4 года назад +63

    When I let my wife go, I was because she was gone. No sense in holding onto something that don’t want to stay. I will always be there and willing to reconcile, however, it takes two to want a lifelong marriage. It takes two fighting side by side

    • @ierdnasoasis4396
      @ierdnasoasis4396 2 года назад +4

      Same here

    • @johna30
      @johna30 8 месяцев назад +1

      @josephsm2413 any update? did she ever come back?

    • @SD62534
      @SD62534 7 месяцев назад

      I am with you.. in same situation

  • @OnderHassan
    @OnderHassan 5 лет назад +343

    I used to agree with this statement, but not anymore. It's got nothing to do with love and everything to do with Attraction. A person can love you and still choose to not come back because the attraction is no longer there. Love cannot exist without Attraction and Respect.

    • @abbybella2884
      @abbybella2884 5 лет назад +2

      Onder Hassan on point

    • @karibyers7948
      @karibyers7948 5 лет назад +18

      It means love yourself enough to let the things go that don’t benefit you . External love is depending and expecting along with that come self experience. True love is love within yourself

    • @karibyers7948
      @karibyers7948 5 лет назад +1

      Marriage means marriage of the mind .
      Honor thy mother and father means . Honer Mother Earth and the father above meaning the cosmos , our dna is from the cosmos , fact not thought . Research it .
      Love thy neighbor as yourself means
      Love and respect your body and the one next to you, the soul that leaves your body , that is your neighbor .

    • @sawssenfid1398
      @sawssenfid1398 5 лет назад +21

      I love him and still attracted to him and even want him badly but I won't come back to him cause I don't trust that he won't hurt me like he did before again !

    • @OnderHassan
      @OnderHassan 5 лет назад +14

      @@sawssenfid1398That's not love. That's a combination of pride, and fear holding you back. Exactly like what my ex did to me and chose to stay with someone else in a rebound relationship for better or worse. Everyone deserves a second chance.

  • @RodneyD
    @RodneyD 4 года назад +88

    “If you love someone then let them go”
    This statement is true pertaining to a dating relationship. However in a marriage relationship it’s not true. Especially if the marriage is worth fighting for.

    • @vjs0902
      @vjs0902 4 года назад +11

      Yes. I agree. Marriage is very different.

    • @RodneyD
      @RodneyD 4 года назад +13

      dark zeratul
      The marriage vow says
      “for better for worst”
      It doesn’t say
      “for better for worse. UNLESS ONE PERSON FALLS OUT OF LOVE”
      The “For worse” means even in the tough and darkness moments. You hang in there and work it out. In some cases it may involve the help of professionals. Love is a choice my friend. Lost love can be rekindled.

    • @cavitycreep
      @cavitycreep 3 года назад +1

      That saying is bullshit

    • @toddandpartheniasheppard2743
      @toddandpartheniasheppard2743 3 года назад +4

      Commitment is commitment married or not

    • @MoparMikeMM
      @MoparMikeMM 3 года назад +7

      And I got my boxing gloves on, I'm fighting for my marriage, it's sanctity and God given connection is worth it. If I have to make some self reflecting changes, then so be it, she's more important than a few personality quirks I have.

  • @ivysoto2842
    @ivysoto2842 5 лет назад +59

    But if u love someone and are willing to work on it and they dont love you back, no matter how much u believe in commitment u will never make that person want the same back. Sometimes people have to be apart from u to miss u and know what they lost. Free will applies especially to love

    • @davidcole2530
      @davidcole2530 3 года назад +1

      Thanks

    • @ateam3727
      @ateam3727 Год назад +1

      Yes....i let my wife go, because she didnt seem happy. It was my first and only marriage.....id give anything to have her back, just dont want her to know the truth.... that way she has her own free will, especially since she remarried and has a child with new guy.

    • @deborahrouse5644
      @deborahrouse5644 Год назад +1

      @@ateam3727 😢

    • @domenicv7962
      @domenicv7962 4 месяца назад

      all a big mystery......up to us, but ultimately God

  • @kimmichaud4064
    @kimmichaud4064 4 года назад +162

    Disagree completely chasing someone who doesn't want you leads to unending heartbreak

    • @RodneyD
      @RodneyD 3 года назад +31

      Marriage Helper never teaches you to chase. Nowhere do they suggest that. In fact they teach never to chase. When I came to Marriage Helper I had been chasing my wife. My marriage coach told me to stop chasing her. That’s called a Push behavior. Push behavior’s are things that push your spouse further away from the marriage... and chasing is a push behavior. They teach how to stand for your marriage without chasing. They advise pull behavior’s. Pull behavior’s is what causes your spouse to come back towards you and the Marriage. The biggest pull you can do to save your marriage is to work on “Self”. My wife and I are headed towards reconciliation as a result of Marriage Helper.

    • @richj6404
      @richj6404 2 года назад +1

      @@RodneyD Rodney. Which coach did you use?

    • @RodneyD
      @RodneyD 2 года назад +1

      @@richj6404
      Her name is Melody…

    • @srevepaynr007
      @srevepaynr007 2 года назад +1

      @@RodneyD do you have her contact details

    • @jannlewandowski5540
      @jannlewandowski5540 Год назад +1

      When you chase someone, it BELITTLES you! Never chase a person because you will definitely drive them away.

  • @jimamen8703
    @jimamen8703 3 года назад +18

    I have been fighting for months to save my marriage as a standing partner. My spouse has told me she is seeking something more...I stayed with her, loved her, in spite of affairs, and in spite of not getting love in return...now I am letting her go find what or who she is looking for. I pray she finds what she seeks, meanwhile, I am going on with my life. I lost my best friend, my wife, but I cannot keep chasing her...I obviously can't give her the "more" that she is looking for, she is not even sure what she is looking for.

    • @yro50
      @yro50 2 года назад +5

      Pray to GOD he leads you to a ministry for standers. Theres many videos on y tube ,and their testimonies. GOD wants to heal our issues first. He can and will ,seek him he will answe.🙏

    • @ChaN-ks3ov
      @ChaN-ks3ov Год назад

      Same here my husband has a mistress who smoke, drink, who knows what more else! He is seeking wild women rather than simple and devoted.

    • @suzukigsxfa9683
      @suzukigsxfa9683 Год назад +1

      Shes looking for God. Thats whats missing

  • @jasonw5586
    @jasonw5586 5 лет назад +126

    Sometimes you have to let them go so you can grow. The commitment need to be both ways. Yes you should try and save your relationship but if you Keep pushing you will push them away lose your self worth. Practice self love and being the best person you can be and if you’ve doing that and the person doesn’t want you. It wasn’t ment to be. Stay strong ❤️

    • @snoopyw6589
      @snoopyw6589 4 года назад +7

      Jason W thanks for speaking on my behalf

  • @taciadessaix5748
    @taciadessaix5748 5 лет назад +44

    .... So true. if he does not love you... let him go. it is no use keeping someone who does not love you. you will end both the loneliest .

  • @wyethhan7434
    @wyethhan7434 5 лет назад +155

    It's so true...., Real love is delivererd with Genuine CONSISTENCY and for me, It is someone who Stays with you no matter what..!!

    • @Westindiangyal1111
      @Westindiangyal1111 5 лет назад +17

      I don't agree! Even thought you love someone you don't stay with them no.matter what. I know a man who is in a relationship with a woman that he loves She has lots of issues where she abuses him mentally, verbally a d emotionally to the point of him reliving his abusive childhood. He sits in his car getting heart palpitations. So I don't agree with stay with someone no matter what. Sometimes two people need to break apart to work on themselves to come back together or go their seperate ways.

    • @arabaamoah5660
      @arabaamoah5660 5 лет назад +1

      @@Westindiangyal1111 maybe true talk

    • @JustineMfulama
      @JustineMfulama 4 года назад +8

      Hmm, I think no matter what will be hard. But yes both people need to be invested in the relationship!

    • @dineshkamble4246
      @dineshkamble4246 4 года назад

      Hi..... That's true what he is talking about

    • @Frissdas1207
      @Frissdas1207 4 года назад +4

      Love isn't consistent at all. Like any emotion, its vulnerable to change and feeling both increasing and decreasing at times. Staying with someone through trials is a FORM of love, not love itself. If you marry someone because you love them, you're an idiot. A marriage won't survive on love alone.

  • @janethughes2775
    @janethughes2775 4 года назад +16

    What is there to fight for if someone wants to leave? I love myself too much to beg someone to stay. Just go and don’t let door hit your rear!

  • @ToyLatrine
    @ToyLatrine Год назад +11

    This video has me crying my eyes out. We’re so shaky and on the verge of collapse and I would literally do anything to save my marriage and my family. I can’t even explain how these words in the video shot through my entire being.

    • @philotsopher5471
      @philotsopher5471 Год назад +1

      That happens to me in the previous months. Now she is more than happy to save our relationship. You have to think why the other person leaves you. Start changing that ASAP. Improve in all areas and hang around. Let them see your change. Remember if they love you once, an better version of yourself will make them love you even more again. I lost weight, now dress a lot better, keep calm, smile to people. They have to see you in peace with the situation. But you have to change internally quickly which is easier under trauma.

  • @mjperfume1523
    @mjperfume1523 Год назад +3

    He wont let himself even brush up against me. He will walk around the room so he doesnt touch me!

  • @jeffangelo5447
    @jeffangelo5447 Год назад +3

    Please take a moment and pray for Jeff and Shay to be reconciled in marriage. Thank you.

  • @manandhisdog6229
    @manandhisdog6229 4 года назад +25

    The problem is, when u let them go many times, they mate quickly and when they find the grass is not greener, its burnt..Than they come back? No way..you leave, you leave for good

    • @snoopyw6589
      @snoopyw6589 4 года назад

      Manandhisdog not true. They sometimes have no choice. Because the one that abandoned them was there everything

  • @gatto-arrabiatto
    @gatto-arrabiatto 3 месяца назад +1

    Fighting for relationship is a true love. You consider more your partner than yourself. And when they are gone, they will never forget how you fought. They might come back, if are mature enough. And you know later that you did your best and you are not to blame

  • @mussabillegeya1294
    @mussabillegeya1294 5 лет назад +61

    Pulling someone back into a relationship they strongly feel they don't need anymore or is not working for them (only because YOU think you need it or can't live without it) IS NOT LOVING that person, IT IS USING THEM!! ...You simply want them back because IT WORKS for you, and you don't care that it does not work for them (and sometimes there is nothing you can do to make you good enough to someone else)!
    Not every person you love will love you back, so don't try to pull people in your life only because YOU love them, even when they do not love you, or even worse, don't feel attracted to you (anymore)!

  • @willhall7559
    @willhall7559 3 года назад +7

    I’ve done everything I can, fought for my marriage, stayed faithful, confessed my sins, asked for forgiveness, repented worked on being the best man/husband that God calls me to be… she has left, moved away, filed for divorce, moved on and won’t allow conversation. I’ve tried for so long, and now feel that I need to “let her go” to allow God to complete the work He is doing.
    I need to know “how” to forgive and “let go” as I have no control over the situation.

    • @cathyrianma3985
      @cathyrianma3985 3 года назад

      I’ll love to introduce you to someone that helped me get my ex back and he can also help you as he did mine too

    • @cathyrianma3985
      @cathyrianma3985 3 года назад

      Text vi whtsapp

    • @cathyrianma3985
      @cathyrianma3985 3 года назад

      +1(;9;7;1;);2;6;4;2;9;1;0

  • @eliasmcvilla8063
    @eliasmcvilla8063 4 года назад +89

    If someone loves you they will never leave you no matter what happens

    • @marysuzettecatipon6147
      @marysuzettecatipon6147 4 года назад +3

      Maybe you are like that.

    • @eliasmcvilla8063
      @eliasmcvilla8063 4 года назад +14

      Mary Suzette Catipon I am like that and it should be like that

    • @marysuzettecatipon6147
      @marysuzettecatipon6147 4 года назад +12

      @@eliasmcvilla8063 its nice to know you are really like that person. God bless you on that maybe it means you respect a woman a lot and value her. If you are in a relationship now. That woman is blessed.

    • @janeeld764
      @janeeld764 4 года назад +4

      I believe that

    • @renostubbs8504
      @renostubbs8504 3 года назад +2

      I agree buddy

  • @hotelpv
    @hotelpv Год назад +17

    If someone loves they will fight for you no matter what.

    • @HelenaHart_SPELLS
      @HelenaHart_SPELLS Год назад

      Use my law of attraction, very effective

    • @MichaelRutzz
      @MichaelRutzz Год назад

      ​@@HelenaHart_SPELLS yes thank you, it helped me restore my broken marriage

    • @domenicv7962
      @domenicv7962 4 месяца назад

      How's that?

  • @MrSwaggOn
    @MrSwaggOn 4 года назад +89

    When they start talking to someone else more than you.... its time to go!

    • @punchtothegut
      @punchtothegut 4 года назад +4

      I wish I'd realized this before my wife cheated on me before we divorced

    • @johnnyboy9576
      @johnnyboy9576 4 года назад +10

      I wish I had left when I started seeing red flags earlier

    • @khethosithole1405
      @khethosithole1405 4 года назад +6

      @@johnnyboy9576 im seeing red flags, this person is happy with another men, why do i want them when they treat me like shit

    • @marysuzettecatipon6147
      @marysuzettecatipon6147 4 года назад +5

      @@khethosithole1405 maybe you really love the person unfortunately it was just a one sided love. There are lots of amazing person out there just ooen your heart again. God bless.

    • @marysuzettecatipon6147
      @marysuzettecatipon6147 4 года назад

      @@punchtothegut its ok atleast you are free now.

  • @zengirl2111
    @zengirl2111 5 лет назад +8

    This is great advice! Just remember this advise is for people who have not moved out and left the relationship. If you are still living with them then fight!!!! If you left chances are it will be harder. God bless!

  • @jeffreycosnow9466
    @jeffreycosnow9466 4 года назад +3

    You should try your best of the first choice to keep them before your second choice is to let them go...and the third choice is to accept them coming back in your life if you really loved them...

  • @Manu-od8du
    @Manu-od8du 5 лет назад +23

    When he choose one of your best friend to be in a relationship with and both are not going to apologize because they can do whatever they want because they are free? They are gabbarge and no more

    • @krystafitch4609
      @krystafitch4609 3 года назад

      Wtf you had this happen?! :( I’m sorry

    • @nicolewinters
      @nicolewinters 3 года назад

      Find a hotter and smarter man for true love and leave those two 🗑️ in the garbage can

  • @JustineMfulama
    @JustineMfulama 4 года назад +31

    WOW, THIS VIDEO REALLY SPOKE TO ME! I believe in manifestation and surrendering your desires, but I completely agree with you that love requires work.

  • @duysalekinci
    @duysalekinci 4 года назад +2

    one of the most rational comments I have ever heard recently! if one of the partners is leaving, the other spouse has to ask what can he/she do to make her/him stay? you just do NOT let your partner leave like that without doing anything!!!

  • @stevensummers9002
    @stevensummers9002 4 года назад +3

    I’m sure you are a man of great talent and ability you’ve helped out many people but if somebody doesn’t want to be with you they want to do something else life is way too short let them go for your own sanity and health I know I have lived it

  • @jneptune1540
    @jneptune1540 5 лет назад +9

    Don’t say let them go, better to walk away. Don’t have a victim losing mentality.
    Once a person wants out, their out. Might not be tomorrow but it will be one day.

  • @phillipphill2008
    @phillipphill2008 2 года назад +2

    I didn’t get a choice, my ex said she didn’t want the relationship but oddly enough said she still loved me more than any man she’d ever met, it’s been 10 weeks and she doesn’t even speak to me so proves how much she values love??

  • @janed9462
    @janed9462 4 года назад +10

    He didn’t want to know me anyways. Loving life regardless. True love doesn’t leave you x

  • @ewoski
    @ewoski 5 лет назад +71

    Sir, I humbly disagree with you. If someone chooses to leave, it must be their idea to come back. I do agree with becoming your best self in order to attract them back.
    They lost their will to stay committed. It takes 2 to make a relationship work. Otherwise you are fighting an uphill battle.

    • @lizculpepper5851
      @lizculpepper5851 5 лет назад +5

      Maybe not their will to be committed but their will to stop being on one way street of being a supportive loving kind spouse... there comes a time to stop being a "doormat" in your marriage.

    • @lizculpepper5851
      @lizculpepper5851 5 лет назад +6

      As I am divorced and still love him still dream that we could be together but he proved over and over that he didn't have any problem abandoning me and my child if he didn't get away with treating me like his personal ATM while playing mind games with me to the point of having me suicidal and absolutely questioning my own self worth from being his emotional punching bag... I wanna have a life/marriage with him but not with those behaviors...he hid those "traits" until after we got married then he did whatever he could possibly do to hurt me including openly flirted with strangers in front of me!!!

    • @lvncsr6166
      @lvncsr6166 5 лет назад +9

      @@lizculpepper5851 You were married to a Narcissist. You need to take time to forgive yourself, stop looking back and show your child that you and him will be all right because the nightmare is over. Take it from one who was there, for many many years but now am free. God loves you and you will get through this.

    • @lizculpepper5851
      @lizculpepper5851 5 лет назад

      @@lvncsr6166 my first comment was about my 1st husband who I have two sons with. My second comment was about my second marriage to which I have knowledge now that he is a narcissist (not diagnosed) but I still love him and wish we could be together. He hid his anger and control issues until after we married. My oldest son has these same traits like his father my first marriage was 22 years and I'm still struggling with the brain washing from the first marriage. The second marriage only lasted 7 weeks as I recognized the traits, circular conversations and mind games as soon as he began them THE DAY after we got married... the mask started slipping

    • @lizculpepper5851
      @lizculpepper5851 5 лет назад

      @@lvncsr6166 thank you for your love and supportive words.

  • @AM-xe4iq
    @AM-xe4iq 4 года назад +15

    I guess I don’t totally agree. You CAN love someone enough to let them be happy elsewhere. Pulling them toward you is about your feelings, not theirs.

  • @GetGwapThisYear
    @GetGwapThisYear 4 года назад +2

    He needs to be committed to himself, not to someone that wants to walk away from him. Letting her go is more likely to see her return, than chasing after her.

  • @ofwolfandmanii
    @ofwolfandmanii 5 лет назад +159

    Taking back an Ex is like putting poop back in your underwear

  • @thisisgeorge2117
    @thisisgeorge2117 4 года назад +8

    I completely agree with the 3 points here. My ex wife said that the intimacy was harmed by my lying (no I never cheated - I believe I fall into the doctors 2nd and more-so 3rd kind of lying husband). So she always struggled with emotional intimacy with me.
    2nd and it probably hinges on the first, that she didn’t feel passion. She didn’t feel that I put in the work.
    I do have all the commitment in the world however and would never walk away. She says she doesn’t respect that level of commitment.
    I love her still with all I am. I am far from perfect and unfortunately am only now understanding what changes need to be made. But a new man has taken her away. Weirdly very similar to me, but I think with the foreknowledge of what she wants through our marriage problems, he is able to play that role.
    I’m deeply heartbroken. We have 5 kids together. She also says she loves me deeply. She wants me to find someone and all of us be one big happy family. I don’t think I can do that. I think I will always have a wound inside, an empty place that she once occupied. How can I look upon her and another man loving each other? I’m cut to the heart at the thought of it.
    Is it possible to love a person so deeply and still fail to make it work?
    I haven’t given the full picture of what the relationship looked like, but there was so much beauty and goodness and sweetness that did happen between us.
    Thank you for these videos.

    • @jonathandixon3432
      @jonathandixon3432 4 года назад

      Go no contact forever. Never see them again ever.
      Do it out of love for them and yourself. It was never meant to be or she would be with you.

    • @thisisgeorge2117
      @thisisgeorge2117 4 года назад +1

      @@jonathandixon3432 since that time we’ve gone through some things. She’s done a good job at causing me to think less and less of her as a person, which is sad. I don’t really see her. So I guess that is what it happening.

    • @phabeondominguez5971
      @phabeondominguez5971 2 года назад

      @@thisisgeorge2117 it's been a year
      Now, how goes it all?

    • @thisisgeorge2117
      @thisisgeorge2117 2 года назад +2

      @@phabeondominguez5971 on the other side of divorce I have found so much healing. Also, gained perspective. Long gone are the days of any emotional draw to my ex wife. I see now too, that she had so many of her own issues. Yes, I lied, but I also see too the level of emotional manipulation and abuse I underwent. So to some extent it makes it more understandable why I lied. Not that I approve of lying. Lying is wrong either way. God is most merciful to me, and my life is very blessed. I am still single and though I have many interested parties, for now I am happy where I am. I have peace and joy in my life.

    • @manonfranklin830
      @manonfranklin830 2 года назад +2

      Hey George, just wondering how you're doing now? I read your comment and am in a similar situation..hope you are well 🙏

  • @ladonnamiller6238
    @ladonnamiller6238 5 лет назад +6

    It is true to give it 100%. I agree to an extent! What humans don’t understand is that sometimes we form attachments which aren’t healthy! Not all marriages a that of Godly influences. I say make the decision best for your souls growth! We all have our own separate journeys and if that pulls you in a different path of your marriage and union understand this is the Divine guiding you to your higher self! Marriages aren’t understood and have been conditioned they should be a certain way. It’s time to shift the old ways of thinking and understand it simply can not exist as we shift into a new paradigm!!!!

    • @JustineMfulama
      @JustineMfulama 4 года назад

      I agree Ladonna! IT's so important to understand why you want to be with someone before committing.

    • @sarunaturals1363
      @sarunaturals1363 4 года назад

      I think I am attached to my husband because he loved me like no one else ever did. However, because I do not know how to receive love and show love in his love language he never felt loved by me, not fully at least. I have a drive that causes tunnel vision and I tried to communicate my dream and visions but he was only concerned about how I loved him. Well, he decided to leave, our 16 year marriage is ending and I do not know how to detach. I know ending our marriage is the right thing to do but I do not know how to release him from my heart. Thank you for your comment as I agree. Figuring out how to move on is the problem.

  • @yoda3988
    @yoda3988 4 года назад +2

    Woman ! Men! This is hard . I’m conflicted because I want more but built a life with someone who wants less out of life. This stuff is so deep and hard .

    • @snoopyw6589
      @snoopyw6589 4 года назад

      yoda3988 why would you think they want less?

  • @iamsuccess6634
    @iamsuccess6634 5 лет назад +21

    It is not objective. Maybe your generation knows what commitment is, not mine.

  • @mizannebillions5703
    @mizannebillions5703 4 года назад +16

    My exp. is aligned with what he said, I choose to stand for my marriage. The process has been time consuming, there has been tears, even times when I wanted wanted to throw up my hands and say f-k it. The reward is seeing the shift to a beautiful relationship growing. There is still a lot of work to be done. I believe that God honors my commitment to my vows, which is a commitment to Him. I am overjoyed that I did not let the marriage go.

    • @snoopyw6589
      @snoopyw6589 4 года назад +4

      MizAnne Billions I believe in marriage. But my husband does not. He has not ever come back

    • @mizannebillions5703
      @mizannebillions5703 4 года назад +3

      @@snoopyw6589 That must be painful and I wish you the best as you pick up the pieces.

  • @mistuhe4778
    @mistuhe4778 5 лет назад +11

    I'm not married but I've lost the best relationship I've ever had with the love of my life and I have been trying for 2 and a half months to get her back... people say I need to leave her alone and let it be and if it was meant to be it will but I really don't want to give up on her but I've tried everything and she's still not back in my life so right now I'm just leaving it all into the lord's hands🙏

    • @eduu2
      @eduu2 5 лет назад +2

      If they come back it is not when u want , if they come back they will when u let them go.
      They always come back when u dont care anymore

    • @shamatembamelvin1023
      @shamatembamelvin1023 5 лет назад +1

      Man you're not alone, am in the same situation.

  • @em7496
    @em7496 5 лет назад +7

    This guy left his wife and then came back though ?? She let him go and divorced him and he came back. I'm confused.

  • @kenbrown4390
    @kenbrown4390 3 года назад +5

    I let my wife leave with the understanding she needed to have some time to figure some stuff out about herself. Come to find out she just wanted to have an affair

  • @florenciagonzalez4571
    @florenciagonzalez4571 4 года назад +7

    As the person who left, I can say he's right. My ex had a lot of mental health issues to work on however we never mistreated each other. I decided to not stay anymore because I started to get anxiety and depression due to the uncertainty of will he get better or not. When I realized his treatment and diagnosis might take a whole year and even then might prove us incompatible, I decided I couldn't take it anymore. I like to think though, that we could get back together once he goes through the work he needs to do on his own and if it turns out that we are compatible after all. In our case it is better that we are apart at least for a period of time. I do love him very much still, I hope that we can meet again however that's up to him now.

  • @nmitrading
    @nmitrading 5 лет назад +35

    Sometimes it’s nothing sometimes it’s literally just over for the other person

  • @SUMMONER917
    @SUMMONER917 4 года назад +15

    CUZ THESE WORDS ARE KNIVES THAT ALSO LEAVE SCARS

  • @louisenriquez5121
    @louisenriquez5121 4 года назад +3

    Respect free will even our lord respects that.. if they’re really understand true love it doesn’t have to do with how you feel. It’s a decision and a decision to love. But you have to understand this kind of love which means you care for others unreservedly!!! Gods love it’s unconditional and eternal!! That’s the true love.

  • @Cliff2548
    @Cliff2548 Год назад

    I've been down this road and back previously and I sure needed advice from someone like him at those times! This fella is very wise, he is exactly the friend I needed!

  • @mikepilotphotographer6449
    @mikepilotphotographer6449 3 года назад +4

    Thank you so much for your videos I lost my wife three weeks ago and our four children I’ve been going through a very dark time and your videos have been extremely helpful I’m still not 100% sure of everything that I’ve done to cause her to do what she’s doing but I’m trying to figure it out so that I can undo the damage that I have done

    • @patriciaclay2111
      @patriciaclay2111 3 года назад

      There is someone who can actually attract the person you love and your soulmate to you. Believe me it works very fast!....

    • @patriciaclay2111
      @patriciaclay2111 3 года назад

      He's the same man that helped me attract my lover back , his name is Dr Steve, he can help you out too. ,,,,

    • @patriciaclay2111
      @patriciaclay2111 3 года назад

      What sApp him ......

    • @domenicv7962
      @domenicv7962 4 месяца назад

      It's truly up to God

  • @dubyabalthazar4598
    @dubyabalthazar4598 4 года назад +6

    Yes, very freakin prejudice! I had a group of "friends" that kept giving me the worst advice. Everytime I followed it, it made things wayyyy worse in my marriage.

  • @aniballugo555
    @aniballugo555 3 года назад +2

    Thanks so much! You may have touched a chord in my heart that has been dormant with the "Let them go" philosophy!!! Will have to reassess my "lack of commitment" posture!! Again, thanks!!

  • @caydenmongolo7187
    @caydenmongolo7187 4 года назад +6

    This is the only ad on RUclips I have watched

  • @stevenrod7
    @stevenrod7 3 года назад +6

    Well, I just learn from my marriage that not everyone fully understands what Commitment means in a marriage. If you can do 100 hundred things right and one thing wrong and that builds over time, they can just abandon their commitment in a marriage then its may not be worth holding on and fighting for no matter how attractive I become, I may end up being attractive to a bunch of new people ect.

    • @cheeenique9075
      @cheeenique9075 3 года назад

      I recommend you to a man who help me manifest whatever you want to manifest within two days💞

    • @cheeenique9075
      @cheeenique9075 3 года назад

      He was the person who helped me manifest my ex back three days ago without daley🌹

    • @cheeenique9075
      @cheeenique9075 3 года назад

      Text him on whatsap 💞

    • @cheeenique9075
      @cheeenique9075 3 года назад

      +2 3 4 8 0 8 0 4 9 4 1 4 1🌹

  • @BluntlyHonest12
    @BluntlyHonest12 4 года назад +3

    😢💔 my husband just left me after almost 35 years a few weeks before our anniversary. I love him , but I got to let him go. I'll always love him and I pray I can live without him. But I don't see it. I'm just ready to go to the lord.

    • @sanadragh2933
      @sanadragh2933 4 года назад

      Frankie Butler I can recommend you to a poweful man whol help me get my husband backl

    • @sanadragh2933
      @sanadragh2933 4 года назад

      If youl needl help try mess,,age him what's Appi +2 3 4 8 1 6 0 3 6 6 9 4 9

    • @domenicv7962
      @domenicv7962 4 месяца назад

      I hope you are well !!

  • @ksmith5826
    @ksmith5826 4 года назад +7

    Hello ! Love listening to you . Can you help me find someone my age just turn 70 in December. Lost my husband 6 years ago I have 3 daughters married and 3 grandchildren.I thank God everyday for all the blessings he has given me .my health and my family . Thank you ! God bless! Elizabeth from Dallas Texas 😊

    • @domenicv7962
      @domenicv7962 4 месяца назад

      How ae things working out for you??

  • @pirateking4418
    @pirateking4418 2 года назад +1

    True but I did try everything to save the relationship. I said sorry even tho I wasn’t the one leaving. I called I wanted to fix things but she blocked me and asked for money that I “owed” any further and I’ll be devaluing myself. Hurts to live without her but not going to do that to myself when she doesn’t care anymore.

  • @djpitophp
    @djpitophp 2 года назад +3

    This advice is amazing and exactly what I needed to hear thank you 🙏🏼

  • @tabietengeneng1995
    @tabietengeneng1995 4 года назад +2

    Although letting go hurts but it's the best decision.

  • @philotsopher5471
    @philotsopher5471 Год назад

    You are so right, I've just watched this video now after all that happened. I fought , I improved my self, fixed what made her go in the first place. She slowly noticed the change and suddenly she needs me. Before this was seemed impossible. She met someone else and was happy. She said to me many times if you love me, leave me alone. But I have a little girl who needs her father, so I just have no choice but to improve my character, energy, other relationships etc. She now see me like those first years.

  • @ryanwithbaobao7325
    @ryanwithbaobao7325 2 года назад +1

    If love exist in the beginning. It is you and the other half share the same sparks. As times grow, things can happen in every relationship but it is up to both to see if they want mend their wound.

  • @hepsibandi7535
    @hepsibandi7535 4 года назад +15

    Let them go🙏

  • @rc2487
    @rc2487 4 года назад +4

    If a woman leaves you don't chase her. Give her the gift of missing you by letting her reflect on the good memories. Men and women have different hormones. Women act on there emotions and men think logically. Why would you fight for a relationship if love is based on a condition. Statistics show that 70 percent of women initiate divorces. Women don't love men for who they are. Women love men for what they can do for them. We live in a feminist society. The modern woman doesn't have the same values as a traditional woman. Happiness comes from within you not a woman.

    • @snoopyw6589
      @snoopyw6589 4 года назад

      R C not all woman are modern

    • @auralit8
      @auralit8 Год назад

      No one thinks completely logically. The more you think of yourself as intrinsically logical, and the more you reject your emotions, the more likely your emotions are to masquerade as logic and control you.
      Logic is a tool we can learn to use-no one is logical by default.

    • @domenicv7962
      @domenicv7962 4 месяца назад

      good one

  • @sysy8713
    @sysy8713 4 года назад +2

    I have done everything I could to try and get my husband back. He is totally revolted, because of this other woman who is supposedly perfect. He wants us to be strangers after 20 years of love and commitment. Yes, we are married

  • @BIGPAPABEAR
    @BIGPAPABEAR Год назад +1

    I got 80 years as my sentences so there's no way I will come out alive, so I love my wife so much I don't want her to suffer....so I let her go........ she's happy now and I am happy because she is happy.

  • @mxthunder2
    @mxthunder2 5 лет назад +25

    this video was posted just in the nick of time. i was starting to feel that I had hurt my wife so much that i should just let her go.

    • @lvncsr6166
      @lvncsr6166 5 лет назад +3

      I applaud you for recognizing that. My husband used to apologize to me for 'all the hurt I see in your eyes." His solution: Marry the OW.

  • @jilll4649
    @jilll4649 5 лет назад +1

    People you have 4 blocks emotional spiritual mental and physical. They need to be in equal 1/4 each. Emotional gets huge when go you through break up. Get walking and get in balance.

  • @capwilson2322
    @capwilson2322 4 года назад +2

    My problem is that our state doesn’t recognize legal separation so I have to file for divorce to protect my kids and myself. I don’t want to but this is the last option

    • @sanadragh2933
      @sanadragh2933 4 года назад

      cap wilson I can recommend you to a poweful man whol help me restore my marriage backl
      If youl needl help try text him on what's Appi +2 3 4 8 1 6 0 3 6 6 9 4 9

  • @renostubbs8504
    @renostubbs8504 3 года назад +1

    It's your approach that caused me to subscribe to your channel, a brilliant introduction I might add. Happy New Year.

  • @carolineflores4318
    @carolineflores4318 Год назад

    I remember this word, quoted by the other woman of my husband to me who is so full of pride 😢😢😢 while my husband on the other side saying that they are planning to go away and be together 😞

  • @brambletbrats3184
    @brambletbrats3184 5 лет назад +5

    Jim Berg describes it like a wedge in a relationship... we need to take care of our side of the wedge and gently encourage the other side to deal with theirs. You can't force someone to change but you can sure make it much easier by loving words and actions.

  • @happyhaptoe5653
    @happyhaptoe5653 3 года назад +1

    Its time to let go to have your peace and live

  • @dheerajdixit6617
    @dheerajdixit6617 4 года назад +1

    Hey budhaoo, same thing is true for her, if she truly loves me she will try all the thing u have said , I have already tried a lot

  • @nmitrading
    @nmitrading 5 лет назад +14

    Why in the world would you be committed to someone who doesn’t want him back??! This is delusional!!

    • @ilovebaywatch
      @ilovebaywatch 5 лет назад +1

      Huh? Because you love them?!

    • @pattyl2811
      @pattyl2811 5 лет назад +6

      Life is long and hard. People go through difficulties in life when they doubt themselves, their relationships, their commitments. It’s those times when you see who really understands you and keeps you steady so you do not self sabotage. I’ve been there. I thought I wanted a divorce- lost a job, mother diagnosed with cancer, was physically assaulted at work - and I pinned it all on my marriage. Thankfully my partner stood still and was my rock. He waited until I saw the light. That’s real love.

  • @yamcha7168
    @yamcha7168 4 года назад +1

    It’s so much easier said than done. Everyone makes it sound so easy but this is harder than anything I’ve ever done. I can’t stop thinking about it. From the moment i wake up to the moment I fall asleep.. if I can actually sleep

    • @thisisgeorge2117
      @thisisgeorge2117 4 года назад

      I know what you are going through. I think of her constantly. It’s a very difficult way to live when you love someone so deeply and they have decided to go.

    • @snoopyw6589
      @snoopyw6589 4 года назад +1

      Yamcha I think of him because we were yoked for so long. But then something came and dirtied our yoke and from then on I felt like he was becoming a stranger to me

    • @snoopyw6589
      @snoopyw6589 4 года назад +1

      Yamcha do you ask yourself why everyone else wants you to leave but something tells you it’s wrong. The devil breaks up marriages with an intent on hurting true love

  • @SonjaWebb-tq4he
    @SonjaWebb-tq4he Год назад +1

    I let him go because he couldn’t provide for me financially I guess. He says he loves me and wants to take care of me when he’s there 😢 idk what to think but I let him go.

    • @HelenaHart_SPELLS
      @HelenaHart_SPELLS Год назад

      Use my law of attraction, very good

    • @paulscholes653
      @paulscholes653 Год назад

      @@HelenaHart_SPELLS yes thank you, it helped me restore my marriage

  • @kimmiw8663
    @kimmiw8663 4 года назад +2

    Love is created by committed ppl

  • @1Sun111
    @1Sun111 4 года назад +1

    I have been fighting for years, but it´s no pleasure

  • @ameliacarter7656
    @ameliacarter7656 3 года назад

    We could snd have had a great relationship. He kept letting me do something that for on his nerves, never said anything until he just said, were done. And here we are. We get along we do some stuff together still, great conversations… snd he still wants me to go.

  • @Ron-ni8uu
    @Ron-ni8uu 6 месяцев назад

    This is so true my wife and I were attacked in a terrorist attack. My job is extremely dangerous now cannot be with one of the only women I have ever loved.l have lived a completely loveless life and I finally fall in love and I cannot be with her.i cannot live in pain like this

  • @dontran391
    @dontran391 4 года назад

    Easier said than done. Especially about the pulling part. You recommend pull gently but to the person whom you love point of view he or she may still feel overwhelmed and easily felt harassed in one's attempt to repair a broken relationship.
    In my experience with a broken relationship I pull gently by communicating what's going on and also allow her to make a choice up if she want to repair the relationship with me. But if she felt hesitant and still be unwilling to repair a friendship with me at least then I use the term if I love her then I let her go. I will no longer chase her. Instead I'm focusing on myself to become a better man and move on with my life. If she comes back I welcome her with open arms. If she don't and it's okay because it never meant to be.

    • @snoopyw6589
      @snoopyw6589 4 года назад

      Don Tran my husband makes me feel so bad if I approach him with my feelings. Plus I think there are things involved here in my life that have not been resolved. I’m just lost when it comes to anything anymore. Sometimes it’s just best to leave the phone off and go just lay my head down to rest. It’s all been just too much. Maybe I never wake up this time. I love this thought of it all just going away

  • @briangrogan910
    @briangrogan910 4 года назад +1

    This doesn't address someone that does not have integrity. If he or she has no integrity they will cheat and lie about it.

  • @boston07able
    @boston07able 4 года назад +3

    This man is very smart, all great advices!! Thank you!!

  • @doreenlane2370
    @doreenlane2370 2 года назад

    A married person usually knows why the other person left. Most of the time they don't care. Marriage takes two honest and committed people who are kind.

  • @kiransharma7848
    @kiransharma7848 5 лет назад +4

    Thank you Doc for this meaningful message! 🙏🌺🙏

  • @sammuelsam4882
    @sammuelsam4882 Год назад

    You don't have to do anything wrong for a person to decide to go. Therefore, asking the grieving person to figure out what they did wrong is questionable.

  • @joamai1204
    @joamai1204 5 лет назад +9

    thank you for the insight. We often forget that life, like love always, always demands work.. at a moment or an other.

    • @MikeJackson690
      @MikeJackson690 5 лет назад

      Great point. Last year my ex and I stopped the work. It fizzled out. Neither of us were tending to each other's needs and this year we split. Life has been tough since but nearly 9 months later I'm getting there.

  • @Aries4uu
    @Aries4uu 4 года назад

    The truth is that adage or saying does not apply to every situation. Some situations could be self-inflicted or spiritual. The latter could be more prominent, as much as people are eternally fighting a belief system with their blindfold on, then people afflicted spiritually will never see beyond their physical extent. Yes, and it so true because that’s the biding of the evil one to keep them blinded.

  • @cryptocash2529
    @cryptocash2529 5 лет назад +5

    What’ happens if you were never really in love but still married for all the wrong reasons

    • @darlingdivine
      @darlingdivine 5 лет назад +4

      If you both are willing to do the right things, you can still find love and build a healthy marriage. Dr Beam's stuff and marriage helper can absolutely help with that.

    • @kirkfrandsen6502
      @kirkfrandsen6502 4 года назад +2

      In my experience it ate at me until we ended it. Hindsight maybe I could have worked on me and my true self but I believe it would have ended the same tho. You either vibe or you don't. Good luck.

  • @GloriaShamim
    @GloriaShamim 5 месяцев назад

    Sometimes you have held on too long and the only other solution is to let go😢

  • @workerbee6619
    @workerbee6619 4 года назад +4

    This is exactly what I believe!

  • @melaniebrown5467
    @melaniebrown5467 4 года назад +1

    I care about him.. not in love but i was falling deep.. n all of sudden things changes. The endless lies began.. just don't understand why people xant be honest.. it would be so much easier. Less heartaches for alot of individuals...

    • @melaniebrown5467
      @melaniebrown5467 4 года назад

      @@jameswatt1029 NO!!.. I'm Good.. hes not an ex .. thank you have a good day.

    • @snoopyw6589
      @snoopyw6589 4 года назад

      melanie Brown yeah why don’t you be honest for once

  • @downhomegirl5
    @downhomegirl5 4 года назад

    Committed to doing what ever it takes. Ask what are your needs and wants & they are not one way.

    • @snoopyw6589
      @snoopyw6589 4 года назад

      Truth Seeker commitment does not include any prejudice, judgment or pride. It’s purely humbleness that is what is needed

  • @ksmith5826
    @ksmith5826 4 года назад +1

    G’morning Dr Joe ! Have a great day .Elizabeth from Dallas Texas 😊

  • @roseystroup
    @roseystroup 4 года назад +1

    @dr Joe Beam what can you do
    When your spouse tells you
    There is no passion in your marriage
    And you try but not enough. I been married for 24 years.

    • @MarriageHelper
      @MarriageHelper  4 года назад +1

      Hi, Maria! Here are a few resources that may help:
      marriagehelper.com/grow-my-marriage/attraction-romance/more-fulfilling-sex/
      marriagehelper.com/the-spark-video-series/
      If you would like to speak to someone about your marriage situation, please fill in the form on this page, and someone will reach out to you: marriagehelper.com/contact/

  • @colleenreid5029
    @colleenreid5029 4 года назад +6

    I lost a really good guy, He was perfect for me. Very disheartening.

    • @larrylovejr82
      @larrylovejr82 4 года назад +2

      At least you know he was a good man

    • @thedeedee
      @thedeedee 4 года назад +1

      Me too

    • @IrishRonquillo2022
      @IrishRonquillo2022 4 года назад +1

      its painful 😣 I lost him he’s a good one too 😭😭😭

    • @jonathandixon3432
      @jonathandixon3432 4 года назад

      Sorry to hear that. Hope you have the strength to build yourself up and move on.

  • @queenb8993
    @queenb8993 3 года назад

    My husband says he’s done! That he can’t stand me, he says I don’t appreciate him I put him last, he doesn’t help me with the kids or anything. I do everything, I ask for help and I get none, I feel like I’m drowning. I also take care of my grampa that has cancer and gramma that is starting to forget. He goes to work and that’s it, I’m praying I can do this. He says he’s leaving but won’t leave, he told me he didn’t love anymore. Plus he met someone and started texting them, I feel betrayed now they that he met this girl, apparently there is no happiness or good in us at all! 💔

    • @migdaliasims9205
      @migdaliasims9205 3 года назад

      Im so sorry. I can’t even imagine what you must feel. I hope he doesn’t leave and I hope you guys find that spark again that y’all once had. One day at a time. Much love to you.

    • @miamason8254
      @miamason8254 3 года назад

      Hi friend, i really understand how you feel right now, there is no problem without a solution to it, do you really need help in recovering your relationship by getting your husband to love you and stay with you???

    • @miamason8254
      @miamason8254 3 года назад

      There is someone that can help you.

    • @miamason8254
      @miamason8254 3 года назад

      He helped me recover my relationship by making my husband to love me and stay with me, because he tried to leave me to someone else.

    • @miamason8254
      @miamason8254 3 года назад

      W.h.z.t.s.a.p.p.h.i.m........now

  • @makok8140
    @makok8140 4 года назад +3

    Yean that’s why we broke up we both watched this

  • @leonard5601
    @leonard5601 Год назад

    You can try to bring the horse to the water but you can't make it to drink .No matter who is the choach the marriage can't be fixed only from one to work ,it needs both .