He's telling it straight. My father as a malignant narc. I remember as a teen I had a go bag in case things got too bad. I remember being terrified to have to go to the kitchen and get a drink of water. Whenever I heard his car come in the driveway I'd be in a total meltdown panic. I remember once he 'caught' me doing my homework with a light on so I could see and he absolutely FLEW into a RAGE at me for wasting his money on the electricity needed for that one light bulb. He refused to pay for heat (I live in Canada. It gets down to -20 C in the dead of winter where I grew up). He refused to pay for clothes for me or food. Years later I visited him as an adult and he said 'I want to apologize to you, you don't realize the impact you have on people' I was shocked! Five seconds later? He goes 'Now you apologize to me!' I was like 'what??' "you!" he snarled at me "YOU had an attitude!" um....I guess? Because most people don't like being horrifically abused?!?! All I can say about that creature is it's a shame he hadn't been sterilized before I'd been born. I wish I'd been adopted into a loving family. Instead I got stuck being dragged through a living nightmare. Toward the end of his life, my aunt tried to help him. She and her husband took him into their home. They were both in the military. Her husband had been to Afganistan no less than 15 times as part of a special forces unit. He said "Your father was the type of person to s1it someone's throat and not bat an eye. He was dangerous". From all the things that man had seen and from all the PTSD he has from the war, even HE could see how dangerous my father was and he and my aunt had to get him out of their house because he was so unsafe.
@@Star-bd8zmThe problem is that when kids ask for help or others report the abuse the kids aren’t always helped. I have more PTSD from the abuse from a social worker & evil cops. We don’t really have a system to help abused kids; often social workers sex traffic the kids & cops rape homeless teens whose safest choice is to sleep on the street. If you want to know how the system actually works, please look up the 2013 murder of 8-year-old Gabriel Fernandez in California. This case likely only got so much coverage because the boy was tortured for months & murdered for “acting gay”, & the LGBTQ lobby used it to bolster their claims so they can get legislation passed, & the media used it to clicks & views. There’s no publicity or outrage for child abuse & murder unless some group or organization can use it for their gain. We don’t actually care about children in this country despite all of our platitudes.
I used to think , from being a teenager - that some people should be PREVENTED from having children. I, like you wished fervently that I had never been born to them. Yes, there should be a test to pass before bringing a defenseless child into the World. We have both survived and should be proud. xx
What your father put you through is so heartbreaking. Refrain from allowing his unacceptable behaviour cripple your spirit, your whole being, your potential in life. And I bet he sure wouldn't want to be controlled and treated that way.
I had an abusive mother no father and an abusive husband. They just didn’t use belts.Sorry for your experience. Mine was and is still bad. Of course I didn’t know my husband was going to be abusive when I married him. The emotional scars are awful.
The more unconditional love and support I gave the more mentally abusive, devious, cruel and dangerous he became. Divorced and No Contact period. No knowledge of his whereabouts or current life by design. It’s the only way to freedom and peace. And a new start:)
They're not all men. I am a female and I live with a female housemate who is a malignant narcissist. Never met anyone like her, and I hope to never meet another like her ever again in my life. RUN AWAY FROM THESE PEOPLE AS FAST AS YOU CAN.
Yes, two of the most destructive narcs I have encountered in life are women. One was supposed to be a mother, the other is a neighbour whose plots/schemes/baits/provocations/traps and smear campaigns have been cunning, relentless and utterly corrosive. Two of the worst are the two who are not so easily avoided.
This one resonates I recently had to share living space with a malignant narc, this was a guy though Just managed to get him kicked the f out a while ago. I hear you. Had ever met anyone like that before, either Here to chat, if you need to share Also, happy to offer any advice, if I can help at all - Take care. Don't be afraid to put yourself first. Talk to others Be strong, you deserve kindness ❤
@armouredgideon949 thank you. I'm here for you as well. It's really just so important to know that another understands. Don't mess with these people, they are relentless. Keep your cool, stay your ground. Don't stand your ground with them. It doesn't work. STAY your ground and stay strong in yourself and get the F away from them asap. They are only out to destroy you and they will never change. Hope you're well.
My mom would BRAG about what she did to her children to her friends at the countryclub decades after the abuse. She asked her tennis partner to look at my hair and see how thin it is, and then told her it was because she used to grab me by the hair and shake me back and forth, and that's why my hair is so thin. She talked about it to them, in front of me as an early 30's adult, as if it was a badge of honor for her. She had ZERO remorse. Pure entitlement. No embarassment. No remorse. I haven't seen or spoken to her since 2004. My paternal grandmother told me that she drove 1600 miles, one way, a year or so after I cut her off and moved, and she went to the registrars office at UC Berkeley demanding they give her my home address and my transcripts. Apparently they told her something akin to, "Your daughter is a 40 year old adult woman. If she wanted to have contact with you, I'm sure she would find you." lol She didn't stop there, though. She then contacted my insurance company, gave them my social security number, her maiden name, the name of my first pet, etc. trying to con them into giving them my home address. The insurance company called me to warn me that someone was trying to "steal my identity". They told me "a woman called with all your personal information pretending to be your mother...". I had to try to get them to understand that my mother was a very sick, entitled woman, and that she wasn't like the mother most people think about but one of the abusive mothers people see on the nightly news. The insurance rep was speechless. I told the rep that I'm so glad that they don't understand because I wouldn't wish a mother like her on any child. As narcissistic as my mother is, her own mother was much worse than she. She was as caustic and toxic human being as I've ever seen, thriving on gossip, alcohol, and trips to Vegas in her 70s. She died a horrible death from pancreatic cancer, and she actually deserved every bit of that agonizing death she had. I'm so relieve I didn't turn out like either of them. Sadder still, I didn't get the worst of the abuse, my older brother was the scapegoat. I ws the youngest. There was financial abuse, as well. After my father died when I was 15, and my paternal grandfather died when I was 16, she became the "trustee" for my college fund that my paternal grandfather saved for me. She spent about $22K of the $25K I as given by my father's father. This is next level entitlement with all kind of sadism, and they truly ENJOY abusing others. They really savor it.
Sorry that you went through so much. My mom is also a malignant narcissist. She abandoned her own mother (my grandma) when she moved to another country; didn’t do a thing when grandma needed to move to a nursing home, and didn’t go back when grandma passed away to take care of her funeral. She wouldn’t even call for help when my dad had a stroke, and not even two weeks after dad was admitted into hospital she wanted to stop visiting him. She has probably forgotten where dad’s buried by now. I almost fell into a depression because of her after dad died because she wouldn’t stop gaslighting me, but I survived by the grace of God. I hope you’re a much happier person today and God bless.
“She died a horrible death from pancreatic cancer, and she actually deserved every bit of that agonizing death she had. I'm so relieve I didn't turn out like either of them.” OK. . ,
Malignant narcs can play heads games to the point of making you lose your mind... And identy. These guys need to be prosecuted much more than they are.
@@cindihaeseker1925 did he play like a bunch of small veey annoying head games. With normal life.. And some medium size head games that he chalked off as blunders etc accidents etc and some wham bam large bad head games... And for a while you thought he accidentally did these things and was just super annoying and hard to deal with.? If that makes any sense... Damn, they know if you tell anyone... No one will believe you!!
I didn't know he was playing games with me until after he left. He played the crazy card on me the whole time. 27 years worth. I never heard of a narrisist before. I thot it was his job working in a prison. I started researching the internet and narrisist popped up
Head games galore. Not from family but a complete stranger who bopped into my private life. I just heard a horn honk. The building I live in has strange situations. Gaslighting central. I get mentally worn down trying to survive at 75. I feel like I have balls of tears stuck inside. I'm an outsider.
I believe my narc has bought our building so he is free to get into my apartment. The men most of them act like they are hiding something. The guy showed up at our picnic wearing dark glasses so he couldn't be really identified. One is so creepy. He knows when I pass his apartment to get on elevator. One time he whinnied like a horse behind his door. I don't know when I dropped off planet Earth into this corner apartment.
My insane mother and older half-brother are both malignant narcissists in spades. Psychopaths, really. If I told you the things they did to me you might not believe me. And in their crazy insane brains, or what passes for brains, they both view themselves as completely innocent and have no idea why so many people hate their guts. As one example, the older half brother is a convicted child rapist who spent fifteen years in prison in Tennessee, after being found out for not even one percent of all the psycho things he's done in his life. And in his sick brain everybody should feel sorry for him. He and the psychotic mother both are convinced that the universe owes them a huge apology, even though they are two of the craziest, most violent people you could ever meet. What Dr. Phil says here about the totally unapologetic nature of these people is absolutely correct. If you bring up any of the things they've done they will act as though *they* are being pushed around. In their demented minds they are always, always the victim, no matter what.
Watching these are so crazy. Hearing a complete stranger describe my Father and the exact words he told me and everyone else. Thank god I'm out of there, I will never ever go back. My enabling family pulled me back before, never again.
This is my exhusband to a T. The excuse he used for his cruelity is spot on and he would laugh at me when he was done. He put me through hell. He thankfully left in 2011 but not until he started the smear campaign with my kids. My kids are my heart and he knows that so he makes sure they have nothing to do with me. They hate me. Every year he just gets meaner. I was married to that cruel man for 27 years. And by the way he retired last year as a warden. I have lived your resesrch. They don't change. They don't care. They use and abuse for their win
Mine did the same. He actually told the judge at the end of the trial, "I was trying to help her." The judge said it was the most disturbing trial he had ever presided over. I'm five years out and live in peace and purpose. He said, "If you ever leave, I will destroy you." True to his word, he alienated my adult children and by association my grandchildren, with outrageous lies and shameless manipulation. That hurt me deeply, but I would not let him destroy me. I have learned to love them, and let them go.
NO EXCUSE for ABUSE!!!!!!! RUN RUN RUN FAST!!!!!!!!! Get therapy to help you!!!! Whatever…get to FREEDOM!!!!!!!!!!!! TOXIC!!!!!!!! 👿 Dr. Phil is telling the truth!!
That is what many of them do, and I hope for both of you (and me too) that the kids who are healthy, and didn't become an understudy to your exes, will figure it out and come back to relationship with you.
Physical abusers are despicable, my father was one, he never apologised. My mother in law has never physically abused me, but the abuse I’ve suffered from her has been much much worse. Very covert and very deniable. Sneaky and underhanded spreading lies and distorting the truth.. turning people against me when from when I was just in my early 20’s and just a very shy introvert, without the wherewithal to counter such an attack.
11 years with a cover narcistic young woman... I did have to registrer our conversations to hear them later and saying to myself :"you wasn't crazy". The two latest weeks thanks to Dr. Phil, I grew so fast. He was the person who gave me the tools to get the full picture with a savage close up. People we was supposed to get married this summer but now that I've found out, I'll put gradually an end of it. Two years ago, thanks to a friend and his prayers, and who lived in an other country, I've had an unexplainable courage to search a flat. One day she came back from work, I was gone ! From my socks to my teeth brush... Finally, the decusion is made in my heart after 11 years 🤦🏾♂️😭 still painful
So 37 years later, especially the past 8 years, our marriage is over. Let's call him "the slick one" because it wasn't until I was fully trapped, that he revealed his true self. "Do narcissists get worse with age," is a common theme, or did they just not care about hiding anymore? My question is how 🤔 do I heal? Forgiveness is the easy part when you know someone is mentally ill. Healing myself, I've found is the hardest part. I'm divorced from a man who's goal was to possess, then destroy me. I still find myself worrying about him. How messed up is that! And I'm trying not to care, but it's like my brain is on auto programming or something. I think leaving is/was the hardest part, even though some freedom has followed. Can you please do a podcast that deals with healing from narcissistic abuses? Thank you for your podcasts.
Quote Dr. Phil, "There major attitude is- Get them before they get me." This is what explains that feeling you get when dealing with a narc, that sets off an alarm in your gut, while you are thinking what is going on for me to be getting this behavior, what is this person attacking me for, well here we have it, thank you. Get them before they get me. He also says they don't change, have no remorse, and abuse works. Wake up society!
Most therapists have zero training in dark triad personality disorders. As a therapist, you have to take extra courses after the work you have already done. So they are easily fooled by the narcissist, who plays the victim like a virtuoso. I have seen, off and on, seven? therapists over the decades of my roller coaster marriage and it was only the last one, a woman in her 70's, who had my ex' number. And she oversaw him dumping me, when she held his heels to the fire and asked what he planned to do going forward to stop creating misery in the marriage. Most of the others were easily manipulated to triangulate with the narc to scapegoat me. But I too knew nothing about this stuff and so just sort of bumbled along. Kept telling myself I was strong and he was the one who really needed the support/help so I could deal. Surreal.
Same bs and fulishness here... I'm a 6'4 black athletic guy with a "kind shy slim white girl". She broke me once. And zero empathy while I was crying like a kid. Few minutes later, I get my sh** together :"watch her in the eyes and said that she will never see me wick again". Didn't know I was saving myself back then. It was in 2016 🫣
That was the norm as a small child. Including beating me till my ears bled with full-man punches. As a man now I accept the challenge of any narcissist that may come my way in life. They won't be around long.
My ex was one and I hadn't heard about it until my therapist told me. Also my mechanic called me the next week to tell me my wife called him asking how to cut my brakes because I was throwing her around. Meanwhile she's twice my size and he knew I couldn't lol. Imagine being so open about it.
Married to covert malignant narc police officer. When I sought divorce, he tried to kill me by tampering with my car which lost control on a freeway. Later he tried to cause a house fire messing w the wiring.
Wow, I wonder if mine will go that far. He pulled several things right before we separated. I feel lucky our daughter and grandchildren were living here at the time. She seen many of the things he was doing. Saved me from a breakdown. He lied so much. Did things to make me stress. EDIT I have cameras so that helps. Several.
Malignant Narcissist Police Officers are the worst of the worst, especially when they Abuse their Position of Authority. Most people just assume all Officials are good, honest, caring, hardworking people and most are. BUT, unfortunately, some are not. Some are very, very dangerous Narcissists that Abuse their Positions of Authority. I am so sorry that you had to endure such abuse and hope you are doing well now!
Try managing an alligators anger, or a sharks anger, or a bull-dogs anger or a narcissists anger. It’s a genetic part of them. And that is why they are a different “species or kind or genus or whatever” of human. “You can’t fix what you don’t acknowledge” or something like that, that you always say!
I’m convinced they don’t change unless they ‘want’ to and 9 out of 10 they don’t want to. However, WHY is it we cannot make the Judges in the Family Court UNDERSTAND & SEE that. These judges STILL give joint custody to these abusers. HOW is that ever in the ‘best interest’ of the child / children? I have come to believe these Judges are in on it.
I think the judges are failing us by not locking them into the asylums. They shouldn't be in5 the streets with us let alone raising kids. It's destroying our society. It's massive
Yes I was with one for 12 years of ABUSE and every type of ABUSE possible. He dragged me around by my hair and I had to wear long sleeved shirts to hide my bruises from my friends
You're a good boy, Dr. Phil ❤ we love and appreciate you for everything you've done to protect women, children, and vulnerable men!!! God Bless you mister!!! 🙏
There was this guy who wanted to go out with me while I was married. Naturally I refused. Being the malignant narcissist he is, he threatened to lie to my husband saying we’ve been in an affair for two years. He got my number + left horrifying messages. I was scared to death. After four years, the fear was so unbearable that I had to leave my own house because my husband is a covert narcissist so I knew he wouldn’t believe the truth. Lost my pup + granddaughter (his daughter’s child - died at 31), who needed extra help to process her mourning. I took her in for eight years. The loss I experienced was + still is extremely painful. What a sick sadistic man this guy was. Even after I left, he stalked me at my new residence so I moved. He always found out where I was so that he could stalk, verbally abuse me + threaten me. This has gone on for ten years + counting. The police were of no help. What a frightening life I lead. Thank you Doctor Phil for all of your information! It is helpful.
@@allanwalli2935 yes, I’m taking it one day at a time, trying to find myself again. Thank you so very much for your reply and well wishes ❤️ it means more than you know!
The scenario you were presenting at the beginning sounds like my life...abuse, and it was "all her fault". Mine claimed he wanted to change and become a good person, started doing all this work: reading everything he can read, going to therapy, taking medicine, etc. This was 2 years ago and guess what he is doing now...? Nothing. None of those things I listed. He has now professed he's a "good person" that just had breakdown/bad moment(s) and he's "fine". Scary stuff. My husband was professionally diagnosed with NPD, APD and HPD. He is far from fine.
What about the guys and gals who act like the most wonderful spouses ever. They set it to look like their are the victim. But at home they mentally and emotionally abuse their spouses. Their abused spouses enter into therapy where the abuser does a great job gaining pity and admiration for staying with the person he or she made sick. To me they are the worst kind of narcisst.
Will never have to repeat this experience ever again. Got out with my life! Key: highly plausibly manipulative. I think they need to be held to account (boot camp style). All said, I’ve leaned! I will go accordingly ie: control myself & decisions. We can’t control them, we must control ourselves. They will not change!
Yes so true they use God and Jesus for abuse and beatings and read Bible it is so scary couse they really believe that they are chosen ones ,very sick mindset
@charlottequillen732. I agree. I know more than one. They ARE the worst. Their "Masks of Respectability" helps them hide from exposure and able to project a false narrative to outsiders. "Such People" could never behave badly or committ crimes, Everyone assumes wrongly. 😣💔😔
Thank you ! In my family I call them 2 faces relatives, back stabbing and lies in my face and more topical, they think the scapegoat owes them because they exist for our good welfare, wow and wow !
after studying narcissists i am sure i married one 63 years ago!!!2nd year he showed NO empathy when i was hurt laughed at me!lived a single life for so many years ago.tries to take everyone i deeply care for away from me.because i dont agree with him.just only fights.and hurt.i just listen to Dr.Phil yes all points fit to him he can not love or hate just cold.i am a positiv person still happy with myself.but it is VERY difficult to live with him.but i cant do anything .to late.😢
Yes! Exactly, Dr. Phil. Their disorder tells them they're justified in destroying you and that you deserved it. They're hate-filled and they're always on the prowl for another scapegoat if you miraculously, by the grace and guidance of God, escape. Weak people need a scapegoat. Strong people are scapegoats and many of us are now escaped goats. Protect your peace and sanity at all costs. That's everything worth fighting for. ❤
It’s extremely accurate Dr. Phil! I dealt with a malignant narcissistic Grandmother, which I know isn’t common to hear, but it exists. As an empath I was manipulated, gaslit & abused for 20 years by her. My mom as a grandiose narcissist didn’t do much help either. These self entitled people are dangerous & will never change!
They don’t see any need to change because they actually believe what they so easily spew out and don’t believe they have a problem. Everyone else is always the problem.
I worked in the criminal justice system for almost ten years and every malignant narcissist I came across was a repugnant domestic abuse perpetrator. These individuals are all the same. Arrogant, entitled, with zero empathy and zero self awareness. Almost all of them abused women and or children. Stupidly the Probation service often gave them female caseworkers - so they had to answer to a female authority figure. Sounds appropriate in theory but always these poor women were scapegoated by these vile offenders. Believing male workers to be ‘more reasonable’ They should have had highly ethical, strong boundaried male workers to challenge and breakdown their distorted thinking and dangerous patterns of behaviour. Sadly, none of the male workers I encountered were strong enough to deal with these types !
My niece has severe paranoia - she is extremely negative and shifts blame all the time. She had her children taken away, right now she is in the psychiatric hospital to find out the main cause, but she still believes there is nothing wrong with her. If they let her go she will end up on the streets once again. She has a narcissistic personality disorder, but she is blind to that fact. She says everyone else is. Sadly. I spend as little time with her as possible, because none of what I do for her ultimately helps her.
Yes ! Thank you Dr. Phil ! Also, if they decide to commit crime, they must be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law, so they do not harm others ! These Dark Triads/Dark Tetrads are found in families, landlord/tenant situations, physicians, some in law enforcement, and others in society.
This was great information, how to you help someone get away that's truly to get away? They don't think anyone is thing to believe them to be able to get help. This is truly sad. Thank you all who are sharing I appreciate you. There's alot of comments so I've gotta keep reading. God bless you and I'm sending you all love and light.
Thank you, you're so right about everything. It's so true. I got C-Ptsd from the abuse. I am 47 female , I am the oldest out of five children my parents had. I always been the black sheep in my family. I went to Jesus cause of the abuse. I been a Christian for over ten years. Jesus is our hope. God is Love. I know my worth and values. My peace comes from God. God is great all the time. Both of my parents are Narcissists so is my grandmother. My brothers and sisters are Narcissists Enablers.
aren't you mad at God for not warning you about M-narcissists? aren't you mad at God for letting you go through this M-narcissist pure hell? aren't you mad at God for not protecting you? I lost my faith from all this.
I thought you’d say the sociopath narcissist. It gets confusing. I believe my ex is just all of them. He shows zero emotion, care, empathy. He’s 2 years sober and a worse human being. Like dead inside. Professional gaslighter, con artist, liar, I can go on! Very very unfeeling, cold and abusive!! Will punish you. Will deny you. It has been the worst experiences of my life!! And is quite a long process to heal from! Trauma after trauma has really hurt my brain. I get so forgetful. CPTSD real bad. Nightmares. Anxieties. Panic attacks. Health issues, Sleep issues!!! Nothing genuinely or truly good comes from them. He’s always the victim or victor sometimes both in the same sentence. Twist truth, reality, never admits to anything, he’s sober now get over the past crap. Arrrrrrrooooogant!!! Has zero emotion or regard for me. Etc…. Having kids with these monsters makes it a zillion times worse and harder!!! I’m a fighter, but sheeesh, I almost gave up completely because the insanity and abuse and neglect and control he put me through!!! Still does!!! With the kids too. But to others, he’s come far and has changed so much and blah blah bullshit blah blah! He’s so nice! In reality especially to us, he’s a monster!
Omg I just started watching this and hearing you I know I'm not crazy everything is always my fault that I just give up giving my point across hes a good dad but with me it very I can't have an Opinion it wrong I'm to Sensitive.and dwell to much on the past or I can't let things go and if I mess up on anything all Literally here about it all week or he make me fill like unwelcome guest in my house it's very hard uncomfortable uncomfortable
Thank u Dr.Phil .You are saving lives...it's just like talking to a brick wall. They rationalize🌈the behavior. I just heard that comment," what's she going to do arrest me ?"
Doctor Phil is an absolute and I mean absolute genius on this subject. He's right absolutely spot on. I had a principle, a school principal who openly admitted to me. One of the greatest things he enjoyed about being a principle was he could hurt people and get away with it. He took pride in it. I actually saw him abuse a child when I reported it. I was targeted bullied out of my job. Have to get a lawyer. I was slandered. I was trying to protect the child and that whole schooldress. Drifts screwed me over and cited with that bully as teachers. I felt we had to protect the kids but. When you're dealing with a bunch of malignant freaking nut jobs or evil nut jobs like that that's what you get
Robin, thank you for borrowing us your husband, I learned so much from his podcast and I fall asleep listening to Phil in the blanks every night. Even the episodes I cannot relate to at all, it’s just invaluable ❤
Dr. Phil--very impressive here. I am just finding out that a relative I've known for over 60 years may be a narcissist and this information is very significant. 45 years of experience in the field & believe me--I appreciate your wisdom here & experience but more than that--I appreciate your sober warning @ the end of this video to stay the hell away from these malignant parasites.
Found out after i kicked my ex out that another ex charged him with SA and DV. He had to do anger management, and I found his workbook for that, and it's all bs...he didn't learn anything except how to hide his anger better. Nothing was ever his fault he had everyone believing she made it up but no one saw who he was like we did when no one else was around.
I’ve had restraint orders against me I’ve had to do anger management all because my ex can lie sooo well, I wouldn’t heart a fly but the courts listened to him and my lawyer was shit.
I was telling this guy about my good deeds that I did helping the homeless by cooking them really good cabbage beef soup, he told me to not talk about myself, yet he would always talk about himself and what good things he did for others. I had to have his validation just to talk. Narcissists take their deep jealousy very seriously. They can't hide their jealousy, even if they tried. Their jealousy starts to show right away. The top 4 badest things of a narcissist that I've noticed in them or about them are: 1 Their control freaks that want full control over you. 2: Their jealousy is their best exposed part about them, they can't hide their jealousy, it just comes out like a bat out of hell. 3: They gaslight you constantly so that you react, and then they use your reaction against you. 4: Manipulation and fancy lies is their best way of making themselves look better than you or anyone because if their not getting admeration or praise on a daily bases they feel abandoned, rejected, denied, and ignored.😌🤔🤔🤨🤨👼
Dr Phil and catholic priest exorcist monsignor rossetti a trained psychologist would have a good time comparing notes, there is e very real spiritual component to the toxic persona. Another great Dr David who discusses a lot about escaping them.
That sounds exactly what my brother would about his actions. I truly think my dad is afraid of him because he won't do anything about my brother, his actions or his words or his threats. My brother is 40 years old, living at home & my dad does nothing about it, he is 73 yrs old & is terminally ill. My brother has threatened that if he ever got kicked out of the house that he would burn down the house & everyone in it, he has threatened that is I hit him that he would beat me to death because I said & he knows that I will call the police ion him & he said no you won't because you won't be alive. I don't know where he gets his hatred of women & I know he hates women, he is a misogynist because he has treated my mom & I with such cruelty.
A really great book on this is Why Does He Do That, by Lundy Bancroft. They see no reason to change because THEY are always the victim. No one ever put my head through a wall or broke my teeth, but my copy is filled with pencilled in notes.
11 years with a cover narcistic young woman... I had to registrer our conversations to hear them later and to be sure of what I've heard to saying to myself :"you wasn't crazy". These two latest weeks, thanks to Dr. Phil, I grew so fast. He was the person who gave me the tools to get the full picture with a savage close up on her disorder personality. People we was supposed to get married this summer but now that I've found out, I'll put gradually an end of it. Two years ago, thanks to a friend and his prayers, and who lived in an other country, I've had an unexplainable courage to search a flat. One day she came back from work, I was gone ! From my socks to my teeth brush... Finally, my decision is made 💪🏾but it's still painful 🤷🏾♂️🤦🏾♂️😮💨
My narcissistic abuser father is 85. He just beat his 65 year old developmentally disabled son, sending him to the hospital. APS done nothing. Apparently it's dad the lawyer's word against a man who doesn't have the capacity to speak for himself.
I'm 50 physically and mentally disabled I'm being abused by my brother I've been hiding in the woods for 3 days. I need help he is using the police against me also
Daniel, Seems to me, the only thing you can do is,get to a road, start hitching at night, keep hitching, get as far away as possible...If you can get a train ride, all the better... Then, once you feel you are far enough away, go homeless, grow a beard, grow your hair long, so you're not recognizable... use another name. Tell no-one where you are from ... Better out on the street than at the mercy of a vicious narc.. Take care, You're in my prayers ..
Daniel, wherabouts are you,~ Exact, area ? Are you in the USA ? I am in the UK, but that doesn't mean I can't help you...Maybe,I can get a helicopter to you.. there are organizations, other than the police, that can help ... but ~MUST have your exact location first !
Provoked, my fault, you made me do it - he was dangerous. My abuse included mental, emotional, financial, he threw things in my direction is what he said and could have hit me if he wanted to, drove wildly with me and the children in the car, hit my daughter, went to court but my daughter was scolded and he was not. He put his hands around my neck, shoved me in a chair and it went over backwards.....and it was always my fault. He had no desire to change, didn't want to change, and would never change is what he told the marriage counselor. Once I found out it wasn't my fault, I divorced him after 30 years. I had no idea what a narcissist even was until 2 years before the end. No one would say he was a narcissist then. I believe his mother was a NPD and perhaps his grandfather by the sound of things.
I'm married to a covert narcissist .he deliberately moving things around in house . And putting them in other places. I have not confront him because he's going to say I'm blaming him for something he's not doing. And will say I'm doing that like I'm the crazy one. How do I handle this.
married to a covert for 38 years: financial betrayal twice, multiple emotional affairs, yes he blamed me consistently.. my mother set the bar so low I tolerated his emotional abuse.. fast forward he has early dementia..I will hire someone Im not giving him care.. someone else will.. God is good.. So true they NEVER change.. These are evil nasty people
A lot of females think that getting beat means they're loved so much. That kind of mentality is just as sick as the narcissist themselves. They are in dire need of treatment, - not just the narcissist.
No, there being trauma bonded the narcissist gives her bread crumbs of hope then lashes off and mistreats her again. It’s an unhealthy emotional pattern the abuser creates towards the victim.
@@jazminolivari3734absolutely. And how tragic, that these women equate such treatment with love.. More than likely as a result of how their father raised them in childhood. Moral of the story: stay TF away from men.
My own father choked me twice, once to unconsciousness. No remorse. My husband put bruises on my arms and said "I wouldn't have to put my hands on you if you weren't bat shit crazy" I called the police they did nothing and domestic shelters say the abuse isn't bad enough, other women are literally running for their lives!
Mine has even managed to convince our children that i "deserved" it. My oldest has told me frequently that i "deserved everything thats ever happened to" me
My Narc got so furious when I called him out for his behavior that he'd interrupt anything I tried to say, rage on me, and scream, "Ok Dr. Phil!!!!" followed by the the hang up, stonewalling silent treatment, and reminders that I pushed him over the edge and I'm on borrowed time. He HATES Dr. Phil. Lol
I knew covert narc who probably dreamed to be daring like malignant, he liked to pretend he is choking you during intimate moments, what a coward pieces of sh..ts.
Thanks for honoring my freedom of speech. Dr. Phil said on an interview that he is PROUD to be a Christian. I didn't hear him mention whether he was PROUD to be a Catholic or Protestant ... and we know that they are definitely not proud of each other's doctrines. I suggest that THE most dangerous narcissist's throughout history were the theologians in religions that thought their souls were saved by a holy "GOD" ... and that outsiders were evil and of the devil. Religion only exists BECAUSE of Narcissism. Atheist ... "Do you know for certain that a god exists? Theologian ... "YES I DO? Atheist ... Do you know what the god knows? Theologian ... "NO!. I do NOT! What God knows is beyond all human ability TO know." Atheist ... "Then why are you pretending that you do know?"
God help me, I've been with one like this for 24 years, with no way out. I'm not the same person I was years ago. Brain damaged, broken bones, 100 lbs heavier, etc. I truly Hate myself. His first wife escaped him after 7 years. I've known he's mentally unstable since the first year. Funny I've ran from these kind of people my whole life.
I never got representation. His sister threw all the parties for the judges. The last time I went in I spent an hour filling out papers. When I handed it in she set it to the side without looking at it . Giggled and said to me im denying your restraining order. I looked at her and told her my death be on you then. He had just let the air out of the jack of the car he knew I was under. From 18 inches to four in a few seconds. I had pictures at that time of black bruises from the top of my neck 3/4 of the way down my back. The accidents didn't stop there. Then he showed up to the house to destroy the pictures. The first one he drugged me for thirty days. The judge told him take her home and take care of her or ill send you to prison. No you don't send a person home with a person you should be sending to prison. He kept me knocked out for 15 more days after the trial. I woke up in his house with no idea how I got there. I knew i was in trouble when the Christmas cards I sent to his list of friends all came back return to sender, Unopened, Every one. They wanted nothing to do with him.
Dr Phil-I know I am preaching to the choir so to speak-BUT-so many times ppl confuse Narcissist with "egotistical"-which is part of Narcissist BUT what is scary IS-when the extreme level of this is not met-it turns violent-the NEED to be TOP or FIRST in every area has different levels-and the violence is seen in extreme levels-BUT appeasing these ppl is easy in some degrees of the disorder. It just depends upon the intellect of the person. Like I said-i know I am preaching to the choir
Been through verbal, emotional, and financial abuse by my ex husband....I am still in therapy after going on 2 years 😭 he was an absolute and is an absolute narcissist
Good God, Im the one that has the front row to seeing this devolution of a small childs experience with a parent and the female partner. Ive been seeing an amplification of hostility towards the tiny scapegoat child. Im the scapegoat, too. Its become dangerous, the mishandling has amped up.
My 64 yro brother was kicked out of his house 2 years ago for being abusive towards his wife. My mom and I own our house together. He has gotten worse over time. He's a alcoholic, smokes pot all day, does coke. Several weeks ago, he got a dui. He's very hateful to me, very disrespectful . He's lost all his friends. Now that he can't drink or do his drugs, He's become belligerent towards me. I started to put a restraining order against him and have him removed from our home.
The Internet bully I had on a discussion forum, I wasted about a year trying to fight it with the mods and the forum owner company before I found out for sure that two of the mods were totally supporting this guy's abusive bullying because he was saying things they agreed with.
worst narcessit is those who can hide they are...those who not brag those who not blame... those who just seems fine on the outside...but man between the walls.. ive been there
He's telling it straight. My father as a malignant narc. I remember as a teen I had a go bag in case things got too bad. I remember being terrified to have to go to the kitchen and get a drink of water. Whenever I heard his car come in the driveway I'd be in a total meltdown panic. I remember once he 'caught' me doing my homework with a light on so I could see and he absolutely FLEW into a RAGE at me for wasting his money on the electricity needed for that one light bulb. He refused to pay for heat (I live in Canada. It gets down to -20 C in the dead of winter where I grew up). He refused to pay for clothes for me or food.
Years later I visited him as an adult and he said 'I want to apologize to you, you don't realize the impact you have on people' I was shocked! Five seconds later? He goes 'Now you apologize to me!' I was like 'what??' "you!" he snarled at me "YOU had an attitude!" um....I guess? Because most people don't like being horrifically abused?!?!
All I can say about that creature is it's a shame he hadn't been sterilized before I'd been born. I wish I'd been adopted into a loving family. Instead I got stuck being dragged through a living nightmare.
Toward the end of his life, my aunt tried to help him. She and her husband took him into their home. They were both in the military. Her husband had been to Afganistan no less than 15 times as part of a special forces unit. He said "Your father was the type of person to s1it someone's throat and not bat an eye. He was dangerous". From all the things that man had seen and from all the PTSD he has from the war, even HE could see how dangerous my father was and he and my aunt had to get him out of their house because he was so unsafe.
I think we should teach children to go to the police station to go to a new hidden from abuser home
Horrific. My story is bad but no way near. You are a strong person for surviving. God bless you and give you peace 😊
@@Star-bd8zmThe problem is that when kids ask for help or others report the abuse the kids aren’t always helped. I have more PTSD from the abuse from a social worker & evil cops. We don’t really have a system to help abused kids; often social workers sex traffic the kids & cops rape homeless teens whose safest choice is to sleep on the street. If you want to know how the system actually works, please look up the 2013 murder of 8-year-old Gabriel Fernandez in California. This case likely only got so much coverage because the boy was tortured for months & murdered for “acting gay”, & the LGBTQ lobby used it to bolster their claims so they can get legislation passed, & the media used it to clicks & views. There’s no publicity or outrage for child abuse & murder unless some group or organization can use it for their gain. We don’t actually care about children in this country despite all of our platitudes.
I used to think , from being a teenager - that some people should be PREVENTED from having children. I, like you wished fervently that I had never been born to them. Yes, there should be a test to pass before bringing a defenseless child into the World. We have both survived and should be proud. xx
What your father put you through is so heartbreaking. Refrain from allowing his unacceptable behaviour cripple your spirit, your whole being, your potential in life. And I bet he sure wouldn't want to be controlled and treated that way.
yep , my stepdad used to beat me and choke me with belts then say I deserved it because I’m disrespectful, a true narcissist
Still afraid of belts 🤦♀️ even the yoga belt is scary when it catches my eye in the bedroom
I hope he ended up being reported and got charged.
I don’t believe in step parents period
So sorry🦋
I had an abusive mother no father and an abusive husband. They just didn’t use belts.Sorry for your experience. Mine was and is still bad. Of course
I didn’t know my husband was going to be abusive when I married him. The emotional scars are awful.
The more unconditional love and support I gave the more mentally abusive, devious, cruel and dangerous he became. Divorced and No Contact period. No knowledge of his whereabouts or current life by design. It’s the only way to freedom and peace. And a new start:)
True! I unfortunately was not in a position to run and hide. So, I toughed it out for years. The guy finally died.
I'm so happy to hear that you got out of that relationship! You are an inspiration to all of us and I, for one, appreciate you sharing your story.💖
Lucky you that you don’t have children with him.
They're not all men. I am a female and I live with a female housemate who is a malignant narcissist. Never met anyone like her, and I hope to never meet another like her ever again in my life. RUN AWAY FROM THESE PEOPLE AS FAST AS YOU CAN.
I think it's most important to not only learn that there are many narcs in the world but that they are both male and female. Dangerous.
I understand …. Shared space with a female malignant narcissist….the worst, the very worst !
Yes, two of the most destructive narcs I have encountered in life are women. One was supposed to be a mother, the other is a neighbour whose plots/schemes/baits/provocations/traps and smear campaigns have been cunning, relentless and utterly corrosive. Two of the worst are the two who are not so easily avoided.
This one resonates
I recently had to share living space with a malignant narc, this was a guy though
Just managed to get him kicked the f out a while ago.
I hear you. Had ever met anyone like that before, either
Here to chat, if you need to share
Also, happy to offer any advice, if I can help at all -
Take care.
Don't be afraid to put yourself first.
Talk to others
Be strong, you deserve kindness
❤
@armouredgideon949 thank you. I'm here for you as well. It's really just so important to know that another understands. Don't mess with these people, they are relentless. Keep your cool, stay your ground. Don't stand your ground with them. It doesn't work. STAY your ground and stay strong in yourself and get the F away from them asap. They are only out to destroy you and they will never change. Hope you're well.
My mom would BRAG about what she did to her children to her friends at the countryclub decades after the abuse. She asked her tennis partner to look at my hair and see how thin it is, and then told her it was because she used to grab me by the hair and shake me back and forth, and that's why my hair is so thin. She talked about it to them, in front of me as an early 30's adult, as if it was a badge of honor for her. She had ZERO remorse. Pure entitlement. No embarassment. No remorse. I haven't seen or spoken to her since 2004.
My paternal grandmother told me that she drove 1600 miles, one way, a year or so after I cut her off and moved, and she went to the registrars office at UC Berkeley demanding they give her my home address and my transcripts. Apparently they told her something akin to, "Your daughter is a 40 year old adult woman. If she wanted to have contact with you, I'm sure she would find you." lol
She didn't stop there, though. She then contacted my insurance company, gave them my social security number, her maiden name, the name of my first pet, etc. trying to con them into giving them my home address. The insurance company called me to warn me that someone was trying to "steal my identity". They told me "a woman called with all your personal information pretending to be your mother...". I had to try to get them to understand that my mother was a very sick, entitled woman, and that she wasn't like the mother most people think about but one of the abusive mothers people see on the nightly news. The insurance rep was speechless. I told the rep that I'm so glad that they don't understand because I wouldn't wish a mother like her on any child.
As narcissistic as my mother is, her own mother was much worse than she. She was as caustic and toxic human being as I've ever seen, thriving on gossip, alcohol, and trips to Vegas in her 70s. She died a horrible death from pancreatic cancer, and she actually deserved every bit of that agonizing death she had.
I'm so relieve I didn't turn out like either of them. Sadder still, I didn't get the worst of the abuse, my older brother was the scapegoat. I ws the youngest.
There was financial abuse, as well. After my father died when I was 15, and my paternal grandfather died when I was 16, she became the "trustee" for my college fund that my paternal grandfather saved for me. She spent about $22K of the $25K I as given by my father's father.
This is next level entitlement with all kind of sadism, and they truly ENJOY abusing others. They really savor it.
You are extraordinary person, so much light in you for us to learn from
Sorry that you went through so much. My mom is also a malignant narcissist. She abandoned her own mother (my grandma) when she moved to another country; didn’t do a thing when grandma needed to move to a nursing home, and didn’t go back when grandma passed away to take care of her funeral. She wouldn’t even call for help when my dad had a stroke, and not even two weeks after dad was admitted into hospital she wanted to stop visiting him. She has probably forgotten where dad’s buried by now. I almost fell into a depression because of her after dad died because she wouldn’t stop gaslighting me, but I survived by the grace of God. I hope you’re a much happier person today and God bless.
@leth2753 so glad you are no contact. People like that are like cancer. All you can do is cut them out if you have any hope of moving on and healing.
“She died a horrible death from pancreatic cancer, and she actually deserved every bit of that agonizing death she had. I'm so relieve I didn't turn out like either of them.” OK. . ,
@@cau4528 Thank you, wishing you well on your path to healing, as well.
Malignant narcs can play heads games to the point of making you lose your mind... And identy. These guys need to be prosecuted much more than they are.
Yes, the head games my X played on me were just horrible. The sadistic part was the enjoyment he got out of it.
@@cindihaeseker1925 did he play like a bunch of small veey annoying head games. With normal life.. And some medium size head games that he chalked off as blunders etc accidents etc and some wham bam large bad head games... And for a while you thought he accidentally did these things and was just super annoying and hard to deal with.?
If that makes any sense... Damn, they know if you tell anyone... No one will believe you!!
I didn't know he was playing games with me until after he left. He played the crazy card on me the whole time. 27 years worth. I never heard of a narrisist before. I thot it was his job working in a prison. I started researching the internet and narrisist popped up
Head games galore. Not from family but a complete stranger who bopped into my private life. I just heard a horn honk. The building I live in has strange situations. Gaslighting central. I get mentally worn down trying to survive at 75. I feel like I have balls of tears stuck inside. I'm an outsider.
I believe my narc has bought our building so he is free to get into my apartment. The men most of them act like they are hiding something. The guy showed up at our picnic wearing dark glasses so he couldn't be really identified. One is so creepy. He knows when I pass his apartment to get on elevator. One time he whinnied like a horse behind his door. I don't know when I dropped off planet Earth into this corner apartment.
@ 5:21 = "... you aint gonna change these people..."
Absolutely true! And they know exactly what they are doing when they create chaos in our lives.
My insane mother and older half-brother are both malignant narcissists in spades. Psychopaths, really. If I told you the things they did to me you might not believe me. And in their crazy insane brains, or what passes for brains, they both view themselves as completely innocent and have no idea why so many people hate their guts. As one example, the older half brother is a convicted child rapist who spent fifteen years in prison in Tennessee, after being found out for not even one percent of all the psycho things he's done in his life. And in his sick brain everybody should feel sorry for him. He and the psychotic mother both are convinced that the universe owes them a huge apology, even though they are two of the craziest, most violent people you could ever meet. What Dr. Phil says here about the totally unapologetic nature of these people is absolutely correct. If you bring up any of the things they've done they will act as though *they* are being pushed around. In their demented minds they are always, always the victim, no matter what.
Watching these are so crazy. Hearing a complete stranger describe my Father and the exact words he told me and everyone else. Thank god I'm out of there, I will never ever go back. My enabling family pulled me back before, never again.
This is my exhusband to a T. The excuse he used for his cruelity is spot on and he would laugh at me when he was done. He put me through hell. He thankfully left in 2011 but not until he started the smear campaign with my kids. My kids are my heart and he knows that so he makes sure they have nothing to do with me. They hate me. Every year he just gets meaner. I was married to that cruel man for 27 years. And by the way he retired last year as a warden. I have lived your resesrch. They don't change. They don't care. They use and abuse for their win
Mine did the same. He actually told the judge at the end of the trial, "I was trying to help her." The judge said it was the most disturbing trial he had ever presided over. I'm five years out and live in peace and purpose. He said, "If you ever leave, I will destroy you." True to his word, he alienated my adult children and by association my grandchildren, with outrageous lies and shameless manipulation. That hurt me deeply, but I would not let him destroy me. I have learned to love them, and let them go.
NO EXCUSE for ABUSE!!!!!!!
RUN
RUN
RUN
FAST!!!!!!!!!
Get therapy to help you!!!!
Whatever…get to FREEDOM!!!!!!!!!!!!
TOXIC!!!!!!!! 👿
Dr. Phil is telling the truth!!
That is what many of them do, and I hope for both of you (and me too) that the kids who are healthy, and didn't become an understudy to your exes, will figure it out and come back to relationship with you.
Physical abusers are despicable, my father was one, he never apologised. My mother in law has never physically abused me, but the abuse I’ve suffered from her has been much much worse. Very covert and very deniable. Sneaky and underhanded spreading lies and distorting the truth.. turning people against me when from when I was just in my early 20’s and just a very shy introvert, without the wherewithal to counter such an attack.
Gosh , can soooooo relate !!!
Never heard anyone in my inner circle describe a M.I .L. like that ; you think you’re alone !
The Most Dangerous Narcissist is The One You Least Suspect of Being a Dangerous Narcissist.
The Smart ones Don't Get Caught. 😢❤
That's not smart. It's evil 😥
Absolutely!!!!
11 years with a cover narcistic young woman... I did have to registrer our conversations to hear them later and saying to myself :"you wasn't crazy". The two latest weeks thanks to Dr. Phil, I grew so fast. He was the person who gave me the tools to get the full picture with a savage close up. People we was supposed to get married this summer but now that I've found out, I'll put gradually an end of it. Two years ago, thanks to a friend and his prayers, and who lived in an other country, I've had an unexplainable courage to search a flat. One day she came back from work, I was gone ! From my socks to my teeth brush... Finally, the decusion is made in my heart after 11 years 🤦🏾♂️😭 still painful
Yes, this is true, God sets them up.
My siblings, Buddhist teacher, Christian leaders...do good for others, abuse me in private😢
So 37 years later, especially the past 8 years, our marriage is over. Let's call him "the slick one" because it wasn't until I was fully trapped, that he revealed his true self. "Do narcissists get worse with age," is a common theme, or did they just not care about hiding anymore? My question is how 🤔 do I heal? Forgiveness is the easy part when you know someone is mentally ill. Healing myself, I've found is the hardest part. I'm divorced from a man who's goal was to possess, then destroy me. I still find myself worrying about him. How messed up is that! And I'm trying not to care, but it's like my brain is on auto programming or something. I think leaving is/was the hardest part, even though some freedom has followed. Can you please do a podcast that deals with healing from narcissistic abuses? Thank you for your podcasts.
What’s Truly sad. . .These Arrogant, belligerent dark triad dwelling malignant narcissists need to change you. Because things are broken.
Quote Dr. Phil, "There major attitude is- Get them before they get me." This is what explains that feeling you get when dealing with a narc, that sets off an alarm in your gut, while you are thinking what is going on for me to be getting this behavior, what is this person attacking me for, well here we have it, thank you. Get them before they get me.
He also says they don't change, have no remorse, and abuse works. Wake up society!
And yet very few therapists want to believe it when they see it.
Right? And why? Narcissistic personality disorder has been the DSM since 1980 I think!
Most therapists have zero training in dark triad personality disorders. As a therapist, you have to take extra courses after the work you have already done. So they are easily fooled by the narcissist, who plays the victim like a virtuoso. I have seen, off and on, seven? therapists over the decades of my roller coaster marriage and it was only the last one, a woman in her 70's, who had my ex' number. And she oversaw him dumping me, when she held his heels to the fire and asked what he planned to do going forward to stop creating misery in the marriage. Most of the others were easily manipulated to triangulate with the narc to scapegoat me. But I too knew nothing about this stuff and so just sort of bumbled along. Kept telling myself I was strong and he was the one who really needed the support/help so I could deal. Surreal.
Same bs and fulishness here... I'm a 6'4 black athletic guy with a "kind shy slim white girl". She broke me once. And zero empathy while I was crying like a kid. Few minutes later, I get my sh** together :"watch her in the eyes and said that she will never see me wick again". Didn't know I was saving myself back then. It was in 2016 🫣
My therapist gave up on me once I even mentioned I had a narcissistic parent.
That was the norm as a small child. Including beating me till my ears bled with full-man punches. As a man now I accept the challenge of any narcissist that may come my way in life. They won't be around long.
I met a malignant one . Truly terrifying . I was walked smeared all-sorts
Absolutely!! Dr. Phil they are NOT going to change and it Best to run! Love them from a far!
📢 never love a demon from afar Never.
My ex was one and I hadn't heard about it until my therapist told me. Also my mechanic called me the next week to tell me my wife called him asking how to cut my brakes because I was throwing her around. Meanwhile she's twice my size and he knew I couldn't lol. Imagine being so open about it.
Married to covert malignant narc police officer. When I sought divorce, he tried to kill me by tampering with my car which lost control on a freeway. Later he tried to cause a house fire messing w the wiring.
Wow, I wonder if mine will go that far. He pulled several things right before we separated. I feel lucky our daughter and grandchildren were living here at the time. She seen many of the things he was doing. Saved me from a breakdown. He lied so much. Did things to make me stress. EDIT I have cameras so that helps. Several.
Malignant Narcissist Police Officers are the worst of the worst, especially when they Abuse their Position of Authority. Most people just assume all Officials are good, honest, caring, hardworking people and most are. BUT, unfortunately, some are not. Some are very, very dangerous Narcissists that Abuse their Positions of Authority. I am so sorry that you had to endure such abuse and hope you are doing well now!
Cops are the worst!!!!
Did you leave correct?
@@MsGeorgiabrown Yes, immediately
Thank you Dr Phil. Your list is sobering and such a helpful reminder of their reality.
Try managing an alligators anger, or a sharks anger, or a bull-dogs anger or a narcissists anger. It’s a genetic part of them. And that is why they are a different “species or kind or genus or whatever” of human. “You can’t fix what you don’t acknowledge” or something like that, that you always say!
I’m convinced they don’t change unless they ‘want’ to and 9 out of 10 they don’t want to. However, WHY is it we cannot make the Judges in the Family Court UNDERSTAND & SEE that. These judges STILL give joint custody to these abusers. HOW is that ever in the ‘best interest’ of the child / children? I have come to believe these Judges are in on it.
Extreme Narcissism is in every position of Authority. Cop's, Clergy, Politicians like Liar King KEVIN McCarthy,tRump ECT, ECT...
I think the judges are failing us by not locking them into the asylums. They shouldn't be in5 the streets with us let alone raising kids. It's destroying our society. It's massive
Yes I was with one for 12 years of ABUSE and every type of ABUSE possible. He dragged me around by my hair and I had to wear long sleeved shirts to hide my bruises from my friends
You're a good boy, Dr. Phil ❤ we love and appreciate you for everything you've done to protect women, children, and vulnerable men!!! God Bless you mister!!! 🙏
There was this guy who wanted to go out with me while I was married. Naturally I refused. Being the malignant narcissist he is, he threatened to lie to my husband saying we’ve been in an affair for two years. He got my number + left horrifying messages. I was scared to death. After four years, the fear was so unbearable that I had to leave my own house because my husband is a covert narcissist so I knew he wouldn’t believe the truth. Lost my pup + granddaughter (his daughter’s child - died at 31), who needed extra help to process her mourning. I took her in for eight years. The loss I experienced was + still is extremely painful. What a sick sadistic man this guy was. Even after I left, he stalked me at my new residence so I moved. He always found out where I was so that he could stalk, verbally abuse me + threaten me. This has gone on for ten years + counting. The police were of no help. What a frightening life I lead. Thank you Doctor Phil for all of your information! It is helpful.
So sad how useless the police are in these situations. I pray that the God of love removes this maniac from your life in Jesus's name, amen.
I was told that every time he put his hands on me, it was always my fault!
Yeah for sure. Now look what you made me do! Unable to accept ANY responsibility. Sick.
Hope you are healing from it all. ❤❤
@@allanwalli2935 yes, I’m taking it one day at a time, trying to find myself again. Thank you so very much for your reply and well wishes ❤️ it means more than you know!
What an arrogant, self entitled narc! So sorry you went through that! 😢
If only we had the internet in the eighties. I survived but all the misunderstanding and all the info I could have had.
The scenario you were presenting at the beginning sounds like my life...abuse, and it was "all her fault". Mine claimed he wanted to change and become a good person, started doing all this work: reading everything he can read, going to therapy, taking medicine, etc. This was 2 years ago and guess what he is doing now...? Nothing. None of those things I listed. He has now professed he's a "good person" that just had breakdown/bad moment(s) and he's "fine". Scary stuff. My husband was professionally diagnosed with NPD, APD and HPD. He is far from fine.
RUN
Ty Dr Phil for your most appreciated advice!! It is so enlightening to me!!! It is so wonderful to have someone like u to advise us.!!
What about the guys and gals who act like the most wonderful spouses ever. They set it to look like their are the victim. But at home they mentally and emotionally abuse their spouses. Their abused spouses enter into therapy where the abuser does a great job gaining pity and admiration for staying with the person he or she made sick. To me they are the worst kind of narcisst.
There street angles in public and house devils behind closed doors 🚪
Will never have to repeat this experience ever again.
Got out with my life!
Key: highly plausibly manipulative.
I think they need to be held to account (boot camp style).
All said, I’ve leaned!
I will go accordingly ie: control myself & decisions.
We can’t control them, we must control ourselves.
They will not change!
For me, IMO. The Religious Narcissist is the worst hobgoblin of them all.....No Other Type Even Comes Close.
Yes so true they use God and Jesus for abuse and beatings and read Bible it is so scary couse they really believe that they are chosen ones ,very sick mindset
@charlottequillen732.
I agree. I know more than one.
They ARE the worst.
Their "Masks of Respectability" helps them hide from exposure and able to project a false narrative to outsiders. "Such People" could never behave badly or committ crimes, Everyone assumes wrongly. 😣💔😔
Thank you ! In my family I call them 2 faces relatives, back stabbing and lies in my face and more topical, they think the scapegoat owes them because they exist for our good welfare, wow and wow !
after studying narcissists i am sure i married one 63 years ago!!!2nd year he showed NO empathy when i was hurt laughed at me!lived a single life for so many years ago.tries to take everyone i deeply care for away from me.because i dont agree with him.just only fights.and hurt.i just listen to Dr.Phil yes all points fit to him
he can not love or hate just cold.i am a positiv person still happy with myself.but it is VERY difficult to live with him.but i cant do anything .to late.😢
No, you are so right!!
No matter what you do, you are Will never ever make it!
Yes! Exactly, Dr. Phil. Their disorder tells them they're justified in destroying you and that you deserved it. They're hate-filled and they're always on the prowl for another scapegoat if you miraculously, by the grace and guidance of God, escape. Weak people need a scapegoat. Strong people are scapegoats and many of us are now escaped goats. Protect your peace and sanity at all costs. That's everything worth fighting for. ❤
It’s extremely accurate Dr. Phil!
I dealt with a malignant narcissistic Grandmother, which I know isn’t common to hear, but it exists.
As an empath I was manipulated, gaslit & abused for 20 years by her. My mom as a grandiose narcissist didn’t do much help either. These self entitled people are dangerous & will never change!
They don’t see any need to change because they actually believe what they so easily spew out and don’t believe they have a problem. Everyone else is always the problem.
Their NOT capable of seeing their damaging flaws,
I agree 100 % !
@@jazminolivari3734nor do they want to. These are the Dark Triad/Tetrad of society.
@@JenGable-Justeson interesting, I’ll look what those terms mean, thank you! 🙏🏻
I worked in the criminal justice system for almost ten years and every malignant narcissist I came across was a repugnant domestic abuse perpetrator.
These individuals are all the same. Arrogant, entitled, with zero empathy and zero self awareness.
Almost all of them abused women and or children.
Stupidly the Probation service often gave them female caseworkers - so they had to answer to a female authority figure.
Sounds appropriate in theory but always these poor women were scapegoated by these vile offenders. Believing male workers to be ‘more reasonable’
They should have had highly ethical, strong boundaried male workers to challenge and breakdown their distorted thinking and dangerous patterns of behaviour.
Sadly, none of the male workers I encountered were strong enough to deal with these types !
My niece has severe paranoia - she is extremely negative and shifts blame all the time. She had her children taken away, right now she is in the psychiatric hospital to find out the main cause, but she still believes there is nothing wrong with her. If they let her go she will end up on the streets once again. She has a narcissistic personality disorder, but she is blind to that fact. She says everyone else is. Sadly. I spend as little time with her as possible, because none of what I do for her ultimately helps her.
These personality types love their sin. I agree, Dr. Phil, that there must be disgust for their own sin before there can be a change in them.
Germaine Greer said, long ago, "Women have very little idea of how much men hate them."
enuf men play the "woman game" use women up for everything till bone dry of finances etc then leave them - yep.
Yes ! Thank you Dr. Phil ! Also, if they decide to commit crime, they must be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law, so they do not harm others ! These Dark Triads/Dark Tetrads are found in families, landlord/tenant situations, physicians, some in law enforcement, and others in society.
This was great information, how to you help someone get away that's truly to get away? They don't think anyone is thing to believe them to be able to get help. This is truly sad. Thank you all who are sharing I appreciate you. There's alot of comments so I've gotta keep reading. God bless you and I'm sending you all love and light.
Thank you, you're so right about everything. It's so true. I got C-Ptsd from the abuse. I am 47 female , I am the oldest out of five children my parents had. I always been the black sheep in my family. I went to Jesus cause of the abuse. I been a Christian for over ten years. Jesus is our hope. God is Love. I know my worth and values. My peace comes from God. God is great all the time. Both of my parents are Narcissists so is my grandmother. My brothers and sisters are Narcissists Enablers.
aren't you mad at God for not warning you about M-narcissists? aren't you mad at God for letting you go through this M-narcissist pure hell? aren't you mad at God for not protecting you? I lost my faith from all this.
I thought you’d say the sociopath narcissist.
It gets confusing.
I believe my ex is just all of them.
He shows zero emotion, care, empathy.
He’s 2 years sober and a worse human being. Like dead inside.
Professional gaslighter, con artist, liar, I can go on!
Very very unfeeling, cold and abusive!! Will punish you. Will deny you.
It has been the worst experiences of my life!! And is quite a long process to heal from!
Trauma after trauma has really hurt my brain. I get so forgetful. CPTSD real bad. Nightmares. Anxieties. Panic attacks. Health issues, Sleep issues!!!
Nothing genuinely or truly good comes from them.
He’s always the victim or victor sometimes both in the same sentence. Twist truth, reality, never admits to anything, he’s sober now get over the past crap. Arrrrrrrooooogant!!!
Has zero emotion or regard for me. Etc….
Having kids with these monsters makes it a zillion times worse and harder!!!
I’m a fighter, but sheeesh, I almost gave up completely because the insanity and abuse and neglect and control he put me through!!! Still does!!! With the kids too.
But to others, he’s come far and has changed so much and blah blah bullshit blah blah! He’s so nice!
In reality especially to us, he’s a monster!
That would render him a ‘dry drunk’. They are all the same with their abuse + blames their victims
Omg I just started watching this and hearing you I know I'm not crazy everything is always my fault that I just give up giving my point across hes a good dad but with me it very I can't have an Opinion it wrong I'm to Sensitive.and dwell to much on the past or I can't let things go and if I mess up on anything all Literally here about it all week or he make me fill like unwelcome guest in my house it's very hard uncomfortable uncomfortable
Thank u Dr.Phil .You are saving lives...it's just like talking to a brick wall. They rationalize🌈the behavior. I just heard that comment," what's she going to do arrest me ?"
Yes I agree with you my son going through this now. Your the best love watching you on TV everyday.
Such a wonderful video. Thank you. Dr. Phil!
Doctor Phil is an absolute and I mean absolute genius on this subject. He's right absolutely spot on. I had a principle, a school principal who openly admitted to me. One of the greatest things he enjoyed about being a principle was he could hurt people and get away with it. He took pride in it. I actually saw him abuse a child when I reported it. I was targeted bullied out of my job. Have to get a lawyer. I was slandered. I was trying to protect the child and that whole schooldress. Drifts screwed me over and cited with that bully as teachers. I felt we had to protect the kids but. When you're dealing with a bunch of malignant freaking nut jobs or evil nut jobs like that that's what you get
Robin, thank you for borrowing us your husband, I learned so much from his podcast and I fall asleep listening to Phil in the blanks every night. Even the episodes I cannot relate to at all, it’s just invaluable ❤
Dr. Phil--very impressive here. I am just finding out that a relative I've known for over 60 years may be a narcissist and this information is very significant. 45 years of experience in the field & believe me--I appreciate your wisdom here & experience but more than that--I appreciate your sober warning @ the end of this video to stay the hell away from these malignant parasites.
Found out after i kicked my ex out that another ex charged him with SA and DV. He had to do anger management, and I found his workbook for that, and it's all bs...he didn't learn anything except how to hide his anger better. Nothing was ever his fault he had everyone believing she made it up but no one saw who he was like we did when no one else was around.
Thank you for these series. Informative and helpful.
I’ve had restraint orders against me I’ve had to do anger management all because my ex can lie sooo well, I wouldn’t heart a fly but the courts listened to him and my lawyer was shit.
I was telling this guy about my good deeds that I did helping the homeless by cooking them really good cabbage beef soup, he told me to not talk about myself, yet he would always talk about himself and what good things he did for others. I had to have his validation just to talk. Narcissists take their deep jealousy very seriously. They can't hide their jealousy, even if they tried. Their jealousy starts to show right away. The top 4 badest things of a narcissist that I've noticed in them or about them are: 1 Their control freaks that want full control over you. 2: Their jealousy is their best exposed part about them, they can't hide their jealousy, it just comes out like a bat out of hell. 3: They gaslight you constantly so that you react, and then they use your reaction against you. 4: Manipulation and fancy lies is their best way of making themselves look better than you or anyone because if their not getting admeration or praise on a daily bases they feel abandoned, rejected, denied, and ignored.😌🤔🤔🤨🤨👼
Dr Phil and catholic priest exorcist monsignor rossetti a trained psychologist would have a good time comparing notes, there is e very real spiritual component to the toxic persona. Another great Dr David who discusses a lot about escaping them.
My mother died at the hands of a malignant narcissist. 😢
I understand
But remember she is free now and you are her gift to the world go live and love and enjoy
All true sir 👍
Unbelievable!! How true!
Most dangerous kind and least opposed or penalized
That sounds exactly what my brother would about his actions. I truly think my dad is afraid of him because he won't do anything about my brother, his actions or his words or his threats. My brother is 40 years old, living at home & my dad does nothing about it, he is 73 yrs old & is terminally ill. My brother has threatened that if he ever got kicked out of the house that he would burn down the house & everyone in it, he has threatened that is I hit him that he would beat me to death because I said & he knows that I will call the police ion him & he said no you won't because you won't be alive. I don't know where he gets his hatred of women & I know he hates women, he is a misogynist because he has treated my mom & I with such cruelty.
WOW needed to see this to remember who I married and why I divorced
A really great book on this is Why Does He Do That, by Lundy Bancroft. They see no reason to change because THEY are always the victim. No one ever put my head through a wall or broke my teeth, but my copy is filled with pencilled in notes.
So now what does a victim do to get away forever , Help
11 years with a cover narcistic young woman... I had to registrer our conversations to hear them later and to be sure of what I've heard to saying to myself :"you wasn't crazy". These two latest weeks, thanks to Dr. Phil, I grew so fast. He was the person who gave me the tools to get the full picture with a savage close up on her disorder personality. People we was supposed to get married this summer but now that I've found out, I'll put gradually an end of it. Two years ago, thanks to a friend and his prayers, and who lived in an other country, I've had an unexplainable courage to search a flat. One day she came back from work, I was gone ! From my socks to my teeth brush... Finally, my decision is made 💪🏾but it's still painful 🤷🏾♂️🤦🏾♂️😮💨
In my experience, the only people more dangerous than these monsters are the ones who insist that they don’t exist.
The trick of the Devil is making people believe he doesn't exist...
@@emathecataww man you beat me to the greatest lie ever told
My narcissistic abuser father is 85. He just beat his 65 year old developmentally disabled son, sending him to the hospital. APS done nothing. Apparently it's dad the lawyer's word against a man who doesn't have the capacity to speak for himself.
He's a coward for beating somebody that's weak😂
I'm 50 physically and mentally disabled I'm being abused by my brother I've been hiding in the woods for 3 days. I need help he is using the police against me also
Daniel, Seems to me, the only thing you can do is,get to a road, start hitching at night, keep hitching, get as far away as possible...If you can get a train ride, all the better... Then, once you feel you are far enough away, go homeless, grow a beard, grow your hair long, so you're not recognizable... use another name. Tell no-one where you are from ... Better out on the street than at the mercy of a vicious narc.. Take care, You're in my prayers ..
Daniel, wherabouts are you,~ Exact, area ? Are you in the USA ? I am in the UK, but that doesn't mean I can't help you...Maybe,I can get a helicopter to you.. there are organizations, other than the police, that can help ... but ~MUST have your exact location first !
🙏🙏🙏
You nailed it!! That's my husband! Omg!!!
Provoked, my fault, you made me do it - he was dangerous. My abuse included mental, emotional, financial, he threw things in my direction is what he said and could have hit me if he wanted to, drove wildly with me and the children in the car, hit my daughter, went to court but my daughter was scolded and he was not. He put his hands around my neck, shoved me in a chair and it went over backwards.....and it was always my fault.
He had no desire to change, didn't want to change, and would never change is what he told the marriage counselor. Once I found out it wasn't my fault, I divorced him after 30 years. I had no idea what a narcissist even was until 2 years before the end. No one would say he was a narcissist then.
I believe his mother was a NPD and perhaps his grandfather by the sound of things.
Does this include sudden unexplained rage incidents? Is this a trait of a Narcissist?
Dr. Phil, how long have you known my daughter? Because every word you said applies.
I'm married to a covert narcissist .he deliberately moving things around in house . And putting them in other places. I have not confront him because he's going to say I'm blaming him for something he's not doing. And will say I'm doing that like I'm the crazy one. How do I handle this.
Run. It only gets worse. Get out and stay out (GOSO).
why haven't you left? you know you're living with a part psychopath
married to a covert for 38 years: financial betrayal twice, multiple emotional affairs, yes he blamed me consistently.. my mother set the bar so low I tolerated his emotional abuse.. fast forward he has early dementia..I will hire someone Im not giving him care.. someone else will.. God is good.. So true they NEVER change.. These are evil nasty people
Thank you so much for this video, thank you love to all
A lot of females think that getting beat means they're loved so much. That kind of mentality is just as sick as the narcissist themselves. They are in dire need of treatment, - not just the narcissist.
No, there being trauma bonded the narcissist gives her bread crumbs of hope then lashes off and mistreats her again. It’s an unhealthy emotional pattern the abuser creates towards the victim.
@@jazminolivari3734absolutely. And how tragic, that these women equate such treatment with love.. More than likely as a result of how their father raised them in childhood. Moral of the story: stay TF away from men.
Love your podcasts. I would be interested to hear your opinion on the guy who just shot his three little boys in front of their mother.
My own father choked me twice, once to unconsciousness.
No remorse.
My husband put bruises on my arms and said "I wouldn't have to put my hands on you if you weren't bat shit crazy"
I called the police they did nothing and domestic shelters say the abuse isn't bad enough, other women are literally running for their lives!
Mine has even managed to convince our children that i "deserved" it. My oldest has told me frequently that i "deserved everything thats ever happened to" me
Absolutely............................................................................
My Narc got so furious when I called him out for his behavior that he'd interrupt anything I tried to say, rage on me, and scream, "Ok Dr. Phil!!!!" followed by the the hang up, stonewalling silent treatment, and reminders that I pushed him over the edge and I'm on borrowed time. He HATES Dr. Phil. Lol
Paranoid monster toddlers
The disordered person in my life covers the camera in his laptop. He has "dead mother" - emotionally dead mother - complex.
I knew covert narc who probably dreamed to be daring like malignant, he liked to pretend he is choking you during intimate moments, what a coward pieces of sh..ts.
Some people don't merit your empathy, and you are a fool to give it to them.
You're right.
Thanks for honoring my freedom of speech.
Dr. Phil said on an interview that he is PROUD to be a Christian. I didn't hear him mention whether he was PROUD to be a Catholic or Protestant ... and we know that they are definitely not proud of each other's doctrines.
I suggest that THE most dangerous narcissist's throughout history were the theologians in religions that thought their souls were saved by a holy "GOD" ... and that outsiders were evil and of the devil.
Religion only exists BECAUSE of Narcissism.
Atheist ... "Do you know for certain that a god exists?
Theologian ... "YES I DO?
Atheist ... Do you know what the god knows?
Theologian ... "NO!. I do NOT! What God knows is beyond all human ability TO know."
Atheist ... "Then why are you pretending that you do know?"
RUN
RUN
RUN
TOXIC
DEATH
God help me, I've been with one like this for 24 years, with no way out. I'm not the same person I was years ago. Brain damaged, broken bones, 100 lbs heavier, etc. I truly Hate myself. His first wife escaped him after 7 years.
I've known he's mentally unstable since the first year. Funny I've ran from these kind of people my whole life.
Quietly plan your escape. Woman's refuge, anywhere, it only gets worse.
I never got representation. His sister threw all the parties for the judges. The last time I went in I spent an hour filling out papers. When I handed it in she set it to the side without looking at it . Giggled and said to me im denying your restraining order. I looked at her and told her my death be on you then. He had just let the air out of the jack of the car he knew I was under. From 18 inches to four in a few seconds. I had pictures at that time of black bruises from the top of my neck 3/4 of the way down my back. The accidents didn't stop there. Then he showed up to the house to destroy the pictures. The first one he drugged me for thirty days. The judge told him take her home and take care of her or ill send you to prison. No you don't send a person home with a person you should be sending to prison. He kept me knocked out for 15 more days after the trial. I woke up in his house with no idea how I got there. I knew i was in trouble when the Christmas cards I sent to his list of friends all came back return to sender, Unopened, Every one. They wanted nothing to do with him.
Dr Phil-I know I am preaching to the choir so to speak-BUT-so many times ppl confuse Narcissist with "egotistical"-which is part of Narcissist BUT what is scary IS-when the extreme level of this is not met-it turns violent-the NEED to be TOP or FIRST in every area has different levels-and the violence is seen in extreme levels-BUT appeasing these ppl is easy in some degrees of the disorder. It just depends upon the intellect of the person. Like I said-i know I am preaching to the choir
Been through verbal, emotional, and financial abuse by my ex husband....I am still in therapy after going on 2 years 😭 he was an absolute and is an absolute narcissist
They think about how they keep arguing to weaken you. So they pretend to solve it and don't apologize.
Good God, Im the one that has the front row to seeing this devolution of a small childs experience with a parent and the female partner. Ive been seeing an amplification of hostility towards the tiny scapegoat child. Im the scapegoat, too. Its become dangerous, the mishandling has amped up.
My 64 yro brother was kicked out of his house 2 years ago for being abusive towards his wife. My mom and I own our house together. He has gotten worse over time. He's a alcoholic, smokes pot all day, does coke. Several weeks ago, he got a dui. He's very hateful to me, very disrespectful . He's lost all his friends. Now that he can't drink or do his drugs, He's become belligerent towards me. I started to put a restraining order against him and have him removed from our home.
The Internet bully I had on a discussion forum, I wasted about a year trying to fight it with the mods and the forum owner company before I found out for sure that two of the mods were totally supporting this guy's abusive bullying because he was saying things they agreed with.
More physical outside Maligments are... yes very dangerous. Coverts more dangerous inside psychology...
worst narcessit is those who can hide they are...those who not brag those who not blame... those who just seems fine on the outside...but man between the walls.. ive been there