A sadistic malignant narcissist will keep asking questions to you about a hurtful situation you happen to find yourself in once they pick up on your suffering. They will listen contentedly as you explain what causes you pain. If you naively and inadvertently give out information to them, they will keep coming back for more. Beware!
This. Had a "friend" who admitted he was a sexual sadist. I have painful physical condition and mental health issues. I wonder what he got out of it(rhetorical. I know what he did).
Very good video. My ex narcissistic husband of 20 years had all 12 of these signs and more. He was truly a sadist. I was so depressed from all the abuse and trauma I was hospitalized many times. He wanted me to die of suicide. These sick people will murder your soul. It’s taken me years to recover. Get out!! and protect your kids, pets too.
That sounds terrible. How were you hospitalised? My brother is the sadist that I'm uncovering. Thought he was a close friend until a few years ago. "Murder your soul" is exactly how I feel too. But saying that to counselors or psychiatrists doesn't mean anything. Now that I am unmasking him I feel hunted by him but I'm avoiding him as much as possible.
@@vantom9836 keep a mask/low profile. Pretend it's a game of chess: white against black. Winning is getting to a position you can cut contact completely without them knowing where you are and not having a way to discover. You will have to move a considerable distance away and possibly let go of mutual contacts. If you do this you will minimize the chances of incredible harm these individuals often do when their victims wake up and try to distance themselves. Good luck 🙏🏼
I grew up the youngest in a family of extroverted sadistic/sociopathic narcissists. I can't even begin to describe how damaged I was as a kind hearted introvert until I finally went no contact and got the proper help I needed to begin to heal. It's like growing up with actual demons.
because they are demons - just remember their eyes - there is nothing human in them - sometimes you can see they are all black (psychopathic rage) or eyes change their shape (if you have experienced it you know what I ma talking about).
Describes my mother perfectly. Straight from hell. I went no contact with her over a decade ago. Best day of my life was when I got news of her death late last year. She was 87. I was 58. The world finally feels reasonably safe. Better, even though I know there are plenty of other demons. At least my own mother isn't amoung them
I swear this fits my ex - I’ll never forget him texting me while I was in the ER for kidney stones asking when I would take the kids back because he has things to do. Or when he yelled at me for bothering him while I was having a miscarriage and asked him to drive me to the hospital because I passed out from pain. Other people don’t even seem to be seen as human by him when it conflicts with his wants
Accurate. I had called an ambulance because I didn't know what was going on. The pain and strange feelings of nausea while also feeling like I had to relieve myself without being able to was deeply concerning. When I got to the hospital, I found out I had kidney stones. One of the worst experiences I've ever had. After I called the ambulance, I texted her to let her know what was going on, and instead of wondering if I was okay or what was going to happen, she started to shame me for trying to get out of spending time with my kids. It's insane.
You just described my ex-wife to the teeth. Thought she was a covert narc but this is more like her. She would like to starte and argument just for the "fun" of it and wake me up in the middle of the night because she had an issue. And she made sure that every time I wanted to spend time outside the home I was told that I was ego centric and didn't love the family and her. The smirk and the black eyes are the things that really mess with your mind. Never again.
This was my mother, I went no contact. I ended up in a relationship with what I believe is a covert narc but I’m not a therapist. I’m struggling if I have a personality disorder from the abuse from him and the abuse I put him through.
I know it’s not a gender battle, and I’ve encountered my fair share of annoying and scary men. But it really gets to me when women do this. My mother did, and I had a few ‘friends’ who would beat down their partner and others and outright say that’s fun. It makes me want to throw up. I now have No patience for that anymore and have started calling them out. Relationship over ofcourse but they ain’t fooling me. That’s sick behavior, not a badge of honor!
You have just perfectly described my husband of 58 years!! It is as though you you knew him intimately!! I have been a widow now for 3 1/2 years and couldn’t be happier!! The only thing I could add to all you said would be that his narcissism became steadily worse and more vindictive with age!!
"Insults disguised as jokes." Thanks for hitting that nail on the head. This is something covert about my brother that I have struggled to explain to even counselors. My brother also fits multiple other signs like enjoying others' misfortune, including laughing about pets dying, and public humiliation and drawing attention to people's failures. And constantly seeming like he wants some kind of argument and then to derail and dominate it. It's not about the argument or topic but just finding someone to tussle with without admitting it. And yes, there is a constant sense of intensification to his toxicity over time. I'm really avoiding and minimising contact as much as possible and it feels like fighting/flighting for my life!
I looked after my mother for 16 years after my father died. Visiting her every Saturday in that time, when she became demented slightly more regularly. I worked 80 miles away full time and lived 40 miles in the other direction away from her. 3 months after she died my narcissistic husband and my 2 manipulative children sat me down and tore strips off me for still grieving for her and that I needed help. Cruelty like none other.
Being in a toxic relationship and with a suspected NRC or BPD partner, could actually be one of the great moments of your life, in such a way that if you are ready, and are not particularly inclined to create a victim identity for yourself, you may actually be able to recreate yourself and find a measure of self love that before hand might have taken many years to figure out. That is if the NRC doesn’t off you first, because you are their property, in their eyes and from their supreme sense of entitlement, even if it is not at all true. I hope everyone who reads this understands how much danger you are in by keeping these toxic covert poisonous people around. Save yourself.
I could have benefited from knowing EVERYTHING in this video as a toddler-anyone who’s not a narc, and is exposed to narcs (isn’t that most people?), should know ALL the info in this video,so they’ll understand what’s happening, and that they can never do anything to change it (other than quietly sneak away).
They should show this as an educational tool or similar type videos on this & other disorders in hs health education class. Could save a LOT of ppl from future devastation.
Yes it seems the final discard has to come from you otherwise you just get stuck in their harem with endless devaluation triangulation and abuse followed by shorter episodes of love bombing!
@@ianarn Yup…isn’t that funny? Narcs hate you & criticize you incessantly, and they’re “too good for you,” YET even with their working legs, THEY DON’T LEAVE! 😂
These videos have enabled me to for the fist time recognize (and name) the full extent of what she did to me. I’ve stayed alone ever since, out of fear, for decades.
My ex girlfriend almost out of the blue one day said “how can i punish you” i thought she was joking and didn’t take it seriously as she seemed fun and playful other than a previous silent treatment. I mentioned the Caroline Flack lamping event as an example of what not to do. I didn’t think anything mor of it apart from when she occasionally pushed me really hard when i was asleep. After refusing a baby request after only 10 months of pretty unstable dating where i was constantly triangulated with other men she kicked me incredibly hard in the backside when i was asleep. The next evening we had an argument and she said “if you go that’s the last time your coming back here”. I quickly exited as i didn’t trust sleeping there another night so her control tactics ultimately back fired on her. The first night i was actually with her she bit my lips really hard and sadistically there was nothing playful about it. I guess she was testing how much abuse I’m could withstand for later. It was the kind of bite that I hadn’t had since a toddler bit me when i was a little kid in the sandpit. I imagine this is congruent with narcissists only having the emotional development of a 3 year old despite being a chronological adult in their 30s with a mature intellect and body.
That's horrible.. I hope u have a really true loving partner now.. glad u got outa there sounds like she will end up in jail in time if continues with anyone else!!!
I’ve been bit like you described and also attacked in my sleep. Once I was awake and she bit me in her sleep enough to break the skin and draw blood. At this point in my life I can’t sleep if someone is in the same room with me. I had a narcissistic stepmom who also had a thing with attacking me when I was asleep. How I attracted that aggression later in life after having escaped it is a horrific mystery.
Reminds me a lot of my father. I remember that glint of pleasure in his eyes when he'd watch people, especially me, in pain. Disrespect for people and their property was his way. And the denial when he got caught breaking things or hurting children.
This. But when there's an outing of their behavior they switch into the good Samaritan and instantly go looking for people to supoort the notion that they are indeed outstanding members of society/community or the family. And your social anxiety and sensitivity gets labeled ad crazy or attention seeking or like your sanity is slipping (and it is!) but you're actually so against it and thats why they're painting you like that and you're watching them like a bird with a broken wing from a distance as they feed into the role of saviour/good guy/provider wondering how the fuck nobody else can see their predatory nature!
This describes my ex husband I was married to him 20+ years. And also my mother was a narcissist but I didn’t realize until just now she was a malignant narcissist as well! YIKES!
Hmm... I never really thought of some of these things as being actually sadistic... I think it'll take me a little while to absorb this expanded definition of the word! Thank you.
@@garryyoung8945 I'm so sorry that your still going through all that they are such evil people.Ive been married for 16yrs of complete stress.I would like to pray for you! I wouldn't mind prayers,too!
Dear Darren, because you took the time to explain the elements of the dark tetrad here, I now know that my soon to be ex-husband is definitely a dark tetrad covert narcissist. This certainty really, really helps me because I no longer blame or doubt myself, and I can now understand why he was so very mean and hateful, without the slightest concern for my welfare or feelings. I endured a harrowing few months of marriage, and barely made it out alive! He made fun of ne during my very difficult time in the hospital, even the fact that they couldn't diagnose the illness for over 2 months. The new knowledge you've imparted here makes me just that much more relieved to have been kicked out and to be far, far away, no contact except through the attorney who has filed our court case. (He seems to be a perfect gentleman, but it probably doesn't hurt that my daughter works for a judge in his state.) God bless you, Darren!
I’ve been there (not with a husband but in life). I highly recommend therapy. It’s never going to be “bad luck with one person”. It’s like murder hornets. Sadistic narcissists leave their mark on you that attracts others. There will always be others coming until you get healing.
Thank You! in other words they are a typical Bully ! I learned all about this growing up the youngest for seven years as the scapegoat . I was number 5 in a dysfunctional family of 6 kids . And I even had to deal with other cruel kids my mom would take care of also.
Ditto 6 of 7. Still the scapegoat. Of course, always having narcissist in my life not realizing it. So glad I finally figured it out and broke the cycle!!!!
Growing up with a pain in the ass parent. One week: “I hid it from you, to teach you a lesson…” another week passes: “I haven’t seen it, maybe it was the little elves.”
Thank You So.very Much For Sharing This I Was In A Relationship With A Sadistic Overt Narcissist. He Destroyed My Life My Self worth And Self Esteem.He Discarded Me In April He Continues To Punish Me With The Silent Treatment.This Is What Broke Me. Down Narcissistic Abuse Is Very Brutal
Everything except for the clothing issue fits the life I lived for over 23 years. Intimacy was basically a dead bed up until I was almost completely destroyed emotionally when EVERYTHING switched. I understand it all now.
Yrs after breakup, I always secretly called my first, serious, long-term boyfriend a sadist. I didn't have the understanding to be confident to say it out loud. But I certainly don't doubt it now. A lot of suffering, hurt and control occurred for 4 years. I wld eventually learn how to steer clear frm those types (mum was one). But not until i felt a great amount of hurt frm people I thought loved me. I'd like to have the opportunity to tell him and all our friends abt his fuckery, but I'll have to be satisfied with using him in stories like this... as the referenced bad guy.
Thank you, Darren. I'm learning so much about the man I left eleven years ago. I used to think he was just a narcissist that had spent too much time in religious schools. He is a PhD organic chemist. Something that has always bewildered me is how through all of this, including trying to push me down staircases, is that whenever something serious would happen, he would "be crushed." For instance, when people we were acquainted with would die, or when his son ran into a man on a bike and killed him, he appeared to take these things very personally. Is "appeared" key here? I mean, tears and all. I have seen him display tears also when relaying a story about someone whom he helped in some way. But not for anyone else, such as my mother or father. He displayed all of these sadistic traits that you outline, as well as negligent narcissism, and some covert.
I know the videos are not substitutes for therapy, and I’m in therapy for recovery from the relations and aftermath of family and other types. But it really helps putting a description to something that is so unimaginable that it helps when someone breaks it down as you cannot wrap your head around nor have the vocabulary to describe the reasons for the terror you felt since it was a game you sensed was going on but don’t know the rules for. So it does help. It helps letting go, because the emotion is being translated. The terror of moving on and not being severely harmed gets put into perspective. Even though there is no contact, I still felt it as being a threat.
Yes, this is how it went for me as well. I've never heard of narcissism until one of my closest friends suggested the word. Truthfully say that I never really understood the word evil until I was married to a dark tetrad covert narcissist. I recently found out the definition of evil is Twisted truth.
I hate that im breaking down. Im depressed and my idiotic self tried explaining that to him. Now i dont love or care about him. He is asking every 5 minutes what is wrong. I said i told you im feeling down. Give me a couple days then ill snap back into whatever im supposed to be. Yet he feels attacked. Why am i not stroking his ego? How dare i have emotions. The cruelty of no rest. He ups the torture. And he knows it. 😢
My father was a quiet unassuming man a knowledgeable deep thinking man. A county Armagh man. His saying was. Wait you will get them in the long grass. My two sisters and I heard this and it is becoming more true. No need to fret. Time will tell. When I was saved by Woman's Aid the year before lockdown. I was quietly entertained sitting back and watching the narcs activities. Brilliant. Once he knew I knew his game he walked out the door quiet and couldn't wait to get away. I locked the door on his heal and never looked back.
Thanks for this video. I know my Ex is vindictive but also fits some of these:(. I know this for sure; I have gone no contact but he still does everything he can yo punish me. I don’t think it will ever end which is sad because he had taken everything from me but apparently it is not enough.
I was married to a covert, malignant narcissist for 15 years. I've experienced all 12 of your signs. We had 3 children 9,11, and 13 when my ex-husband controlled every aspect of separation and divorce. Oh, how I hated him with a passion back then. Separation day was April 26, 2001; the WORST AND BEST DAY OF MY LIFE. The worst because o the way it happened. The best because I was then away from his ass.
@@KellenAdairWhy are you replying back to me in this way? If you actually read my comment, you wouldn’t have responded in this way. I clearly used the word WAS in first sentence. Not the word AM. I also clearly stated this was back in 2001. TWENTY THREE YEARS AGO. Maybe your response is meant for Kaitlyn Cox, the lady that also responded underneath my comment.
"There can be little to no relief even when the partner is fully complying." This is true. I am a Christian and I love God, myself, and I speak the truth in love and forgive continually. God will vindicate me. I am praying for His help, direction, and a way out.
Exceptionally important info for me in navigating around my two narcissistic sibs h sadly, even in our late 60s/early 70s. I need to both have compassion for the basis for their narcissism (childhood trauma in my view), and being able to structure social situations to avoid their often inappropriateness, hurtful sadistic remarks. Given they are more apt to ‘act out’ when one on one, I structure group get togethers. This is better but basically I do not enjoy being in their presence given the uncertainty of what could come at you. Professor-Elizabeth
5 years of pure hell in earth with one of these sadists who was on show the moment his feet hit the driveway until finally he left for good when I went totally gray rock & he just disappeared
She would definitely hide my stuff but the most devious of hiding was hiding my family photos from my childhood behind her family photos in a hidden photo album. She literally tried to make me crazy and forget my past so I know no other
psychologizing" or "psychologizer." These terms are not very common, but they can be used to describe someone who interprets people's behavior in psychological terms excessively or uses psychology language in a simplified manner to categorize others. It's important to note that labeling people solely based on psychological terms can be reductionist and may not capture the full complexity of human nature.
THANKYOU FOR YOUR CHANNEL AND VIDEOS DARREN I APPRECIATE NOW I KNOW THE ABUSIVE SADISM AND ABUSIVE BEHAVIOR I HAVE AND HAD BEEN THRU AND EVEN MORE DISTRESSING THAT HE AND THEY GOT IMMERSE PLEASURE OUT OF DOING IT ITS SO SO SAD 😔😥😢😭
I came back home from the hospital after close family member suffered a terrible incident and immediately my now ex wanted me to start doing things for him. Never asked how my family member was doing, or how me and rest of family were holding up. I hadn’t slept in two days and told him that, didn’t matter and he became enraged. It’s simply and shockingly evil.
Please speak more on this topic. I’m being tortured unmercifully by a person who acts like a terminator hell bent to destroy me no matter where I go or what I do.
My ex husband would repeatedly threaten my pets and even kick my little dogs in front of me. Then I would keep them in their crates to keep them safe. At this point he would yell at me that the dogs had to “locked up” so they were bad pets! He actually got excited about watching my disabled sister being told of her dog’s sudden death.
they are reading books about a sickness or desease, caused by an other abuser in the victim, for example ALS, amythroph lateral sclerosis, caused also by narcissistic abuser, to better understand how they are able to inflict even more pain in their own victims! Absolute sickening to the core.
Just prior to my husband discarding me, he literally was flaunting in my face that he had been screwing the secretary from his work. Of course he didn't come out and say it, he just flaunted coming home with his shirt undone way down his chest at like 9pm when he works day shift. Hes shacked up with her and still currently married to me. So evil 😈 now i realize why he would laugh at serious matters
Don’t let it get to ur self esteem….ur a good person and deserve so much better then that pos….what kind of pig does that to their spouse other then scum….he can act like he’s doing great and wonderful but just know he’s with another person because he’s dead inside and needs someone to suck the life out of…he’s drained u to the point u aren’t giving him the attention he wants and needs….kind of like how the pets get worms….ur husband would be the worm slowly trying to kill off the pet in order to survive…I’ve been divorced for 15 years now and am still learning who I am and how to love myself….before I left, I was clueless of who I really was…I had no hobbies didn’t know what music I really liked etc…I had just been existing for 14 years while he openly cheated on me and then blamed me for him cheating….he had me believing I was ugly and deformed as a woman only to discover that is not the case according to his friends lol….I’ve had a few dating situations that turned out to be even worse then the ex….and that’s when I discovered it’s me attracting these types by what I subconsciously believe ….that I don’t deserve love or respect….I’m unworthy and so on….now, I’m completely different…I won’t tolerate the slightest comment intending on tearing me down….or poor treatment…..my ex used to tell me no man will ever want me…..it got to the point I was ok with that possibility cuz id rather be alone then with him for one more minute…remember he will be doing the same thing he’s doing to u now, to her very soon. Just be cold and emotionless towards him cuz to him, bad attention is still attention he’s taking from u….u deserve better then that pos…u will meet someone that fits with u so well…u won’t even remember how shitty it is right now….u will be happy….he won’t ever be happy….and that should put a smile on ur face ….God bless
@w8what575 thank you so much for the encouragement 🙏 You really touched my heart & remind me that there are good people out here✨️❤️ I blocked him today because he had the audacity to wish me a happy birthday yesterday 🤷♀️ Can you believe the nerve!? All interactions can be done by the attorneys from now on. Again, THANK YOU because I'm still in this hurt,it's a rather fresh realization
The point is, there is no reprieve. They do not let up. If they get bored, they'll create pain in your life for funsies. It doesn't matter how much you sacrifice, how much you effort, it doesn't matter if you somehow do manage to perform perfectly, you will still be punished. It has nothing to do with you. There will always be an excuse.
Hi Darren. I've known people who present themselves as self-sacrificing and loving similar to an altruistic narcissist, but when they're not around other people, they become a malignant narcissist. Is this a thing that malignant narcissists do? Try to make everyone believe that they are a loving and giving person so that no one believes the person they are truly abusing? This would go as far as starting a series of lies several months in advance about a person when the opposite is in fact true. When the abused person starts talking about what is happening, no one believes them because the malignant narcissist has made so many lies. But it's all done in the guise of the narcissist being so loving and self-sacrificing for the person that they're abusing.
My sisters husband was the worst that I have ever seen. Her daughter STILL have no contact with her mother. Its been 25 years now. My sisters husband would tear up her clothes, destroy her make-up. tell her children how stupid she is. And the last thing is HE would have never married her if she had not gotten pregnant. My niece repeated this to me when she was 20 or so. So sad hat he would do this to his children
He gave me a whole 4 days to grieve the death of my only child before he gave me the following ultimatum If you don't want to give it (sex) to me that I have options and dropped a couple of names. If he's got options why is he still fighting with me about it? Because he doesn't have any options and he knows it. He's all about food and sex but he's also been impotent for 15 years and to lazy to put in any effort to do anything to even give the appearance that he's trying to be helpful to me he saves all of that for the people that he likes and will go out of his way for those people so they all think he's the nice guy and I'm the monster. But what would they think of him if they knew the truth about him and how he's always treated me? That's actually a wake up call for all of them today it's me and tomorrow it could easily be anyone of them.
I have met well adjusted sadists in the BDSM community. Narcissism, BPD, etc. are problems. A sadist who tends to hang out with consenting masochists is not a problem. There are three masochists per sadist, I'm told, so it might make sense to train for it if you are lonely and have any tendencies in that direction. There are classes available. Haven't taken any. I would like to better understand the mindset of those three masochists. I have no idea where they are coming from.
If you're a healthy individual you understand there's no such thing as a well adjusted sadist. The BDSM cult is rife with abusers. Obviously it would be since it's full of people who like to hurt others for sexual pleasure, which is dangerous. That's what serial killers do. Paraphillias also tend to escalate. That's why someone with a paraphillia, their behavior tends to escalate over time. It might start with porn and graduate to flashing, then worse. Whether a person consents to being abused or not, the fact remains that a sadist is an abuser, who gets off on abusing others. Its bizarre that people have been swindled into believing that's perfectly OK if the abused agrees to being abused by an abuser. It's not ok. It's dangerous to promote BDSM practices as normal, healthy, or something that is safe. It's not.
@@VaporRize08THANK YOU!!! Well said! Consent to abuse is, in my opinion, very strong evidence of mental/emotional problems. And the "Dom" (so called) must be presumed to know that. Such being the case, their consent is worthless, and should be deemed invalid in any ensuing criminal prosecution for Assault & Battery. And that's what it is. And crime vitiates all contracts. No one can legally consent to A&B outside a specifically licensed and pervasively regulated activity (eg., Boxing, Football and other contact sports). 🎼TD, Boston
My verry good friend was just telling me about how years ago (she has since quit having sex w/him) her husband got an erection at times for example, when her daughter was in a car accident as he witnessed her despair. And there was another similar situation she told of that he got an erection but I can't remember the details of.
Thank you so much for all these videos, I have just discovered your channel - VERY helpful. Sorry to ask this but in concert with the above material and some of the others, my question is: would is be possible be a Narcissistic Sociopath with Sadistic tendencies as well as Borderline Personality Disorder? Is that even possible? thank you again and for even taking the time to possibly respond 🙏
There’s a lot of overlap in the symptoms but the same lesson applies- don’t be there or you will be their target. You’ll have to decide if it’s worth staying long enough to get the exact diagnosis by analyzing their repeated abuse.
I still believe it’s not possible to definitively label a Narcissist. Mine displays a range of behaviours, which include quite a lot of these, but I don’t think he’s sadistic so much as looking for opportunities to start another argument where shouting the loudest = winning. For the record, I refuse to shout back at him because that’s pouring oil on the flames.
Thank you for this video. What kind of psychology helps people to deal with a beaten downed mindset? What terminology can I google to help myself? Thank you!
Cognitive dissonance is one to look into. Angie Atkerson was one of the many that helped me. She has since passed away, but her videos are still on RUclips helping people. Dr. Carter is a good one also. I found I needed several different perspectives from different people to put it all together and find some healing. I have forgotten alot of the earlier ones I watched, but hopefully this helps. 😊
A roomate can be sadistic I had to get away from one and stalking sexual harassment etc. even. after moving out a text can we still be friends this is unbelievable a person is like this but it’s real avoid these people first red flag get out immmeadiatly
A sadistic malignant narcissist will keep asking questions to you about a hurtful situation you happen to find yourself in once they pick up on your suffering. They will listen contentedly as you explain what causes you pain. If you naively and inadvertently give out information to them, they will keep coming back for more. Beware!
This. Had a "friend" who admitted he was a sexual sadist. I have painful physical condition and mental health issues. I wonder what he got out of it(rhetorical. I know what he did).
And pass on the information to people that they know you least want to have it.
Yes they look for your weak points, what hurts you the most then plan how to attack you using them.
You mean the therapist?
I do.
It literally happened to me….4 days ago.
I wish I had read your comment earlier!
Very good video. My ex narcissistic husband of 20 years had all 12 of these signs and more. He was truly a sadist. I was so depressed from all the abuse and trauma I was hospitalized many times. He wanted me to die of suicide. These sick people will murder your soul. It’s taken me years to recover. Get out!! and protect your kids, pets too.
That sounds terrible. How were you hospitalised? My brother is the sadist that I'm uncovering. Thought he was a close friend until a few years ago. "Murder your soul" is exactly how I feel too. But saying that to counselors or psychiatrists doesn't mean anything. Now that I am unmasking him I feel hunted by him but I'm avoiding him as much as possible.
@@vantom9836 keep a mask/low profile. Pretend it's a game of chess: white against black. Winning is getting to a position you can cut contact completely without them knowing where you are and not having a way to discover. You will have to move a considerable distance away and possibly let go of mutual contacts. If you do this you will minimize the chances of incredible harm these individuals often do when their victims wake up and try to distance themselves. Good luck 🙏🏼
Well I hope you are recovering. I am in the same boat. I understand your comment more than id like to admit.
I was there too. Mine used reactionary abuse on me.. Did yours?
Same here 😢
"constant barrage of malice" sums it up well
This is exactly what sadists do. Sadism manifests in the ways you have described. I have experienced many of them. Evil is driving those cruel people.
I grew up the youngest in a family of extroverted sadistic/sociopathic narcissists. I can't even begin to describe how damaged I was as a kind hearted introvert until I finally went no contact and got the proper help I needed to begin to heal. It's like growing up with actual demons.
💯 spot on - demons alright
because they are demons - just remember their eyes - there is nothing human in them - sometimes you can see they are all black (psychopathic rage) or eyes change their shape (if you have experienced it you know what I ma talking about).
Are you able to present as extroverted?
Not very well @@RiverDaughter-l9f
Describes my mother perfectly. Straight from hell. I went no contact with her over a decade ago. Best day of my life was when I got news of her death late last year. She was 87. I was 58. The world finally feels reasonably safe. Better, even though I know there are plenty of other demons.
At least my own mother isn't amoung them
I swear this fits my ex - I’ll never forget him texting me while I was in the ER for kidney stones asking when I would take the kids back because he has things to do. Or when he yelled at me for bothering him while I was having a miscarriage and asked him to drive me to the hospital because I passed out from pain. Other people don’t even seem to be seen as human by him when it conflicts with his wants
Im sorry i hope you’re finding healing and more peace now🌸
Omg, that's demonic. When I had breast cancer my ex told me he was taking me off his médical insurance!
Accurate. I had called an ambulance because I didn't know what was going on. The pain and strange feelings of nausea while also feeling like I had to relieve myself without being able to was deeply concerning. When I got to the hospital, I found out I had kidney stones. One of the worst experiences I've ever had. After I called the ambulance, I texted her to let her know what was going on, and instead of wondering if I was okay or what was going to happen, she started to shame me for trying to get out of spending time with my kids. It's insane.
Imagine having the nurses turned against you by this person after giving birth!!!! That's what I dealt with.
😢💔Yep, I've been thru similar. They are Monsters to those who are closest to them.
You just described my ex-wife to the teeth. Thought she was a covert narc but this is more like her. She would like to starte and argument just for the "fun" of it and wake me up in the middle of the night because she had an issue. And she made sure that every time I wanted to spend time outside the home I was told that I was ego centric and didn't love the family and her. The smirk and the black eyes are the things that really mess with your mind. Never again.
This was my mother, I went no contact. I ended up in a relationship with what I believe is a covert narc but I’m not a therapist. I’m struggling if I have a personality disorder from the abuse from him and the abuse I put him through.
I know it’s not a gender battle, and I’ve encountered my fair share of annoying and scary men. But it really gets to me when women do this. My mother did, and I had a few ‘friends’ who would beat down their partner and others and outright say that’s fun. It makes me want to throw up. I now have No patience for that anymore and have started calling them out. Relationship over ofcourse but they ain’t fooling me. That’s sick behavior, not a badge of honor!
Yep.. Mine to. My abuser had me so mad at times.
😢😢😢
You have just perfectly described my husband of 58 years!! It is as though you you knew him intimately!! I have been a widow now for 3 1/2 years and couldn’t be happier!! The only thing I could add to all you said would be that his narcissism became steadily worse and more vindictive with age!!
Enjoy your life to the fullest now. You deserve it . Thank you for sharing your story .
I hope you’re still doing well. Your comment made my heart hurt for you. 58 years is a very long time.
Yes! They do!
♥️
Magnificent ❤❤❤
"Insults disguised as jokes." Thanks for hitting that nail on the head. This is something covert about my brother that I have struggled to explain to even counselors. My brother also fits multiple other signs like enjoying others' misfortune, including laughing about pets dying, and public humiliation and drawing attention to people's failures. And constantly seeming like he wants some kind of argument and then to derail and dominate it. It's not about the argument or topic but just finding someone to tussle with without admitting it. And yes, there is a constant sense of intensification to his toxicity over time. I'm really avoiding and minimising contact as much as possible and it feels like fighting/flighting for my life!
I looked after my mother for 16 years after my father died. Visiting her every Saturday in that time, when she became demented slightly more regularly. I worked 80 miles away full time and lived 40 miles in the other direction away from her. 3 months after she died my narcissistic husband and my 2 manipulative children sat me down and tore strips off me for still grieving for her and that I needed help. Cruelty like none other.
Being in a toxic relationship and with a suspected NRC or BPD partner, could actually be one of the great moments of your life, in such a way that if you are ready, and are not particularly inclined to create a victim identity for yourself, you may actually be able to recreate yourself and find a measure of self love that before hand might have taken many years to figure out. That is if the NRC doesn’t off you first, because you are their property, in their eyes and from their supreme sense of entitlement, even if it is not at all true. I hope everyone who reads this understands how much danger you are in by keeping these toxic covert poisonous people around. Save yourself.
It's like you lived in the house with myself and my now deceased 2nd husband. I'm so glad for your education and others. You literally saved my life.
Its not a need to win a war, its that the person is always going to be their perceived enemy.
I could have benefited from knowing EVERYTHING in this video as a toddler-anyone who’s not a narc, and is exposed to narcs (isn’t that most people?), should know ALL the info in this video,so they’ll understand what’s happening, and that they can never do anything to change it (other than quietly sneak away).
They should show this as an educational tool or similar type videos on this & other disorders in hs health education class. Could save a LOT of ppl from future devastation.
@@GingerNinja1 💯 x 💯!!!
Yes it seems the final discard has to come from you otherwise you just get stuck in their harem with endless devaluation triangulation and abuse followed by shorter episodes of love bombing!
@@ianarn Yup…isn’t that funny? Narcs hate you & criticize you incessantly, and they’re “too good for you,” YET even with their working legs, THEY DON’T LEAVE! 😂
@@ianarnI don't even get the love bombing any more...
These videos have enabled me to for the fist time recognize (and name) the full extent of what she did to me. I’ve stayed alone ever since, out of fear, for decades.
Ppl ask: Do I date? No! I will never risk being in that type of situation again. Life is so much easier when you can walk away from these ppl
I lived with this for decades, and it accelerated especially after retirement and children leaving (no witnesses) ... until I fled for my life.
My ex girlfriend almost out of the blue one day said “how can i punish you” i thought she was joking and didn’t take it seriously as she seemed fun and playful other than a previous silent treatment. I mentioned the Caroline Flack lamping event as an example of what not to do. I didn’t think anything mor of it apart from when she occasionally pushed me really hard when i was asleep. After refusing a baby request after only 10 months of pretty unstable dating where i was constantly triangulated with other men she kicked me incredibly hard in the backside when i was asleep. The next evening we had an argument and she said “if you go that’s the last time your coming back here”. I quickly exited as i didn’t trust sleeping there another night so her control tactics ultimately back fired on her. The first night i was actually with her she bit my lips really hard and sadistically there was nothing playful about it. I guess she was testing how much abuse I’m could withstand for later. It was the kind of bite that I hadn’t had since a toddler bit me when i was a little kid in the sandpit. I imagine this is congruent with narcissists only having the emotional development of a 3 year old despite being a chronological adult in their 30s with a mature intellect and body.
That's horrible.. I hope u have a really true loving partner now.. glad u got outa there sounds like she will end up in jail in time if continues with anyone else!!!
@@neilmurphy966 thanks! No I’m still recovering really! Still see her at a social even 7 months later! Obviously we don’t talk to each other.
I’ve been bit like you described and also attacked in my sleep. Once I was awake and she bit me in her sleep enough to break the skin and draw blood. At this point in my life I can’t sleep if someone is in the same room with me. I had a narcissistic stepmom who also had a thing with attacking me when I was asleep. How I attracted that aggression later in life after having escaped it is a horrific mystery.
@@boxelder9167 That’s terrible! Apart from girls at school that was the most violent and narcissistic girlfriend I’ve ever had!
Parental Alienation really IS a thing, and you are correct, the act of alienation can, and often does, start long before a separation takes place.
It can be planned in advance.
@@talbenavraham1478Especially by the mothers. They know the state is backing them.
Reminds me a lot of my father. I remember that glint of pleasure in his eyes when he'd watch people, especially me, in pain. Disrespect for people and their property was his way. And the denial when he got caught breaking things or hurting children.
This. But when there's an outing of their behavior they switch into the good Samaritan and instantly go looking for people to supoort the notion that they are indeed outstanding members of society/community or the family. And your social anxiety and sensitivity gets labeled ad crazy or attention seeking or like your sanity is slipping (and it is!) but you're actually so against it and thats why they're painting you like that and you're watching them like a bird with a broken wing from a distance as they feed into the role of saviour/good guy/provider wondering how the fuck nobody else can see their predatory nature!
@@NeonDungeonExactly. Both the overt and the covert. 😢
I was entangled for 1-1/2 years....the worse encounter I've ever had.
Whenever my ex narc saw someone get hurt, he would laugh a sadistic laugh.
This describes my ex husband I was married to him 20+ years. And also my mother was a narcissist but I didn’t realize until just now she was a malignant narcissist as well! YIKES!
Hmm... I never really thought of some of these things as being actually sadistic... I think it'll take me a little while to absorb this expanded definition of the word! Thank you.
My husband narc. is all those signs.Its not safe mentally and emotionally here.
You have to get away.
@@garryyoung8945 I'm slowly working on it,he's on disability,and I'm retired,so I'll have to do it one step at a time!
@@kathleenbristol6747 I’m very sorry to hear of your predicament. Mine nearly killed me, I’m twenty one years gone and she still won’t leave me alone.
@@garryyoung8945 I'm so sorry that your still going through all that they are such evil people.Ive been married for 16yrs of complete stress.I would like to pray for you! I wouldn't mind prayers,too!
@@kathleenbristol6747 Please consider it done. I wish you all the best.
Yes to all, ive experienced all of this from my Dad older sister and husband. Very accurate.
Dear Darren, because you took the time to explain the elements of the dark tetrad here, I now know that my soon to be ex-husband is definitely a dark tetrad covert narcissist. This certainty really, really helps me because I no longer blame or doubt myself, and I can now understand why he was so very mean and hateful, without the slightest concern for my welfare or feelings. I endured a harrowing few months of marriage, and barely made it out alive! He made fun of ne during my very difficult time in the hospital, even the fact that they couldn't diagnose the illness for over 2 months. The new knowledge you've imparted here makes me just that much more relieved to have been kicked out and to be far, far away, no contact except through the attorney who has filed our court case. (He seems to be a perfect gentleman, but it probably doesn't hurt that my daughter works for a judge in his state.) God bless you, Darren!
I’ve been there (not with a husband but in life). I highly recommend therapy. It’s never going to be “bad luck with one person”. It’s like murder hornets. Sadistic narcissists leave their mark on you that attracts others. There will always be others coming until you get healing.
Thank You! in other words they are a typical Bully ! I learned all about this growing up the youngest for seven years as the scapegoat . I was number 5 in a dysfunctional family of 6 kids . And I even had to deal with other cruel kids my mom would take care of also.
Live a good life my friend , it's the greatest revenge
Ditto 6 of 7. Still the scapegoat. Of course, always having narcissist in my life not realizing it. So glad I finally figured it out and broke the cycle!!!!
Growing up with a pain in the ass parent. One week: “I hid it from you, to teach you a lesson…” another week passes: “I haven’t seen it, maybe it was the little elves.”
Thank You So.very Much For Sharing This
I Was In A Relationship With A Sadistic Overt Narcissist.
He Destroyed My Life My Self worth And Self Esteem.He Discarded Me
In April He Continues To Punish Me With The Silent Treatment.This Is What Broke
Me. Down Narcissistic Abuse Is Very Brutal
Everything except for the clothing issue fits the life I lived for over 23 years. Intimacy was basically a dead bed up until I was almost completely destroyed emotionally when EVERYTHING switched. I understand it all now.
Yrs after breakup, I always secretly called my first, serious, long-term boyfriend a sadist. I didn't have the understanding to be confident to say it out loud. But I certainly don't doubt it now. A lot of suffering, hurt and control occurred for 4 years. I wld eventually learn how to steer clear frm those types (mum was one). But not until i felt a great amount of hurt frm people I thought loved me. I'd like to have the opportunity to tell him and all our friends abt his fuckery, but I'll have to be satisfied with using him in stories like this... as the referenced bad guy.
Thank you, Darren. I'm learning so much about the man I left eleven years ago. I used to think he was just a narcissist that had spent too much time in religious schools. He is a PhD organic chemist. Something that has always bewildered me is how through all of this, including trying to push me down staircases, is that whenever something serious would happen, he would "be crushed." For instance, when people we were acquainted with would die, or when his son ran into a man on a bike and killed him, he appeared to take these things very personally. Is "appeared" key here? I mean, tears and all. I have seen him display tears also when relaying a story about someone whom he helped in some way. But not for anyone else, such as my mother or father. He displayed all of these sadistic traits that you outline, as well as negligent narcissism, and some covert.
Great video! I guess these people could realistically treat anyone like that.
I know the videos are not substitutes for therapy, and I’m in therapy for recovery from the relations and aftermath of family and other types. But it really helps putting a description to something that is so unimaginable that it helps when someone breaks it down as you cannot wrap your head around nor have the vocabulary to describe the reasons for the terror you felt since it was a game you sensed was going on but don’t know the rules for. So it does help. It helps letting go, because the emotion is being translated. The terror of moving on and not being severely harmed gets put into perspective. Even though there is no contact, I still felt it as being a threat.
Yes, this is how it went for me as well. I've never heard of narcissism until one of my closest friends suggested the word. Truthfully say that I never really understood the word evil until I was married to a dark tetrad covert narcissist. I recently found out the definition of evil is Twisted truth.
Great video. I'm so glad to see you're making more recently! 😁 Thanks!
I hate that im breaking down. Im depressed and my idiotic self tried explaining that to him. Now i dont love or care about him. He is asking every 5 minutes what is wrong. I said i told you im feeling down. Give me a couple days then ill snap back into whatever im supposed to be. Yet he feels attacked. Why am i not stroking his ego? How dare i have emotions. The cruelty of no rest. He ups the torture. And he knows it. 😢
My father was a quiet unassuming man a knowledgeable deep thinking man. A county Armagh man. His saying was. Wait you will get them in the long grass. My two sisters and I heard this and it is becoming more true. No need to fret. Time will tell. When I was saved by Woman's Aid the year before lockdown. I was quietly entertained sitting back and watching the narcs activities. Brilliant. Once he knew I knew his game he walked out the door quiet and couldn't wait to get away. I locked the door on his heal and never looked back.
Your dad would be very proud. I like that saying and he was right.
1:03 is called shaden freude
GREATLY appreciate this video! I LIVED under such a sadistic malignant person - unsuspecting of him, my church pastor, of all people.
People we look up to or authority cops Dr's nurses politicians bosses etc judges it goes on and on
My brother is sadistic I fear
He laughs at otgher people's misfortune, and he gets sullen when someone else succeeds
Thanks for this video. I know my Ex is vindictive but also fits some of these:(. I know this for sure; I have gone no contact but he still does everything he can yo punish me. I don’t think it will ever end which is sad because he had taken everything from me but apparently it is not enough.
I was married to a covert, malignant narcissist for 15 years. I've experienced all 12 of your signs. We had 3 children 9,11, and 13 when my ex-husband controlled every aspect of separation and divorce. Oh, how I hated him with a passion back then. Separation day was April 26, 2001; the WORST AND BEST DAY OF MY LIFE. The worst because o the way it happened. The best because I was then away from his ass.
I want to leave but I'm so afraid. He won't let me go. I know he will punish me.
You need to get to a shelter ASAP. Take the kids and dog. And get all your evidence ready and a PPO request in.
@@KellenAdairWhy are you replying back to me in this way? If you actually read my comment, you wouldn’t have responded in this way. I clearly used the word WAS in first sentence. Not the word AM. I also clearly stated this was back in 2001. TWENTY THREE YEARS AGO.
Maybe your response is meant for Kaitlyn Cox, the lady that also responded underneath my comment.
Thank you for posting your amazing videos, Mr. Magee. ❤
The most dangerous type
"There can be little to no relief even when the partner is fully complying." This is true. I am a Christian and I love God, myself, and I speak the truth in love and forgive continually. God will vindicate me. I am praying for His help, direction, and a way out.
Exceptionally important info for me in navigating around my two narcissistic sibs h sadly, even in our late 60s/early 70s. I need to both have compassion for the basis for their narcissism (childhood trauma in my view), and being able to structure social situations to avoid their often inappropriateness, hurtful sadistic remarks. Given they are more apt to ‘act out’ when one on one, I structure group get togethers. This is better but basically I do not enjoy being in their presence given the uncertainty of what could come at you. Professor-Elizabeth
I am getting my will made!
What’s the difference between a sadist and a psychopath I see so many overlaps
5 years of pure hell in earth with one of these sadists who was on show the moment his feet hit the driveway until finally he left for good when I went totally gray rock & he just disappeared
She would definitely hide my stuff but the most devious of hiding was hiding my family photos from my childhood behind her family photos in a hidden photo album. She literally tried to make me crazy and forget my past so I know no other
psychologizing" or "psychologizer." These terms are not very common, but they can be used to describe someone who interprets people's behavior in psychological terms excessively or uses psychology language in a simplified manner to categorize others. It's important to note that labeling people solely based on psychological terms can be reductionist and may not capture the full complexity of human nature.
According to Catholicism it is a sin to take pleasure in someone else’s suffering or misfortune.
"They have a level of empathy but no sympathy". A good one to never forget.
Selective empathy
Cold empathy that's feigned.
THANKYOU DARREN
FOR YOUR CHANNEL WISDOM
AND INSIGHT
🙏😘🌸💖🌹🧿
Excellent information. Thank you 🙏
Ironically, while Your video was about hate, I SO LOVE 💞
THANKYOU
FOR YOUR CHANNEL AND VIDEOS
DARREN I APPRECIATE
NOW I KNOW THE ABUSIVE SADISM
AND ABUSIVE BEHAVIOR I HAVE AND HAD BEEN THRU AND EVEN
MORE DISTRESSING THAT HE AND
THEY GOT IMMERSE PLEASURE
OUT OF DOING IT ITS SO SO SAD
😔😥😢😭
I came back home from the hospital after close family member suffered a terrible incident and immediately my now ex wanted me to start doing things for him. Never asked how my family member was doing, or how me and rest of family were holding up. I hadn’t slept in two days and told him that, didn’t matter and he became enraged. It’s simply and shockingly evil.
Please speak more on this topic. I’m being tortured unmercifully by a person who acts like a terminator hell bent to destroy me no matter where I go or what I do.
My ex husband would repeatedly threaten my pets and even kick my little dogs in front of me. Then I would keep them in their crates to keep them safe. At this point he would yell at me that the dogs had to “locked up” so they were bad pets! He actually got excited about watching my disabled sister being told of her dog’s sudden death.
And yet you stayed? Allowing your dogs to be abused? WTF, lady? I would have been gone with my pets the very first time that happened.
relentless, dominating and amoral with stealing and destroying other people's items, yes
This is what I'm dealing with on a regular with me Narcissist Husband
Extremely helpful video
they are reading books about a sickness or desease, caused by an other abuser in the victim, for example ALS, amythroph lateral sclerosis, caused also by narcissistic abuser, to better understand how they are able to inflict even more pain in their own victims! Absolute sickening to the core.
Thank You!
Just prior to my husband discarding me, he literally was flaunting in my face that he had been screwing the secretary from his work. Of course he didn't come out and say it, he just flaunted coming home with his shirt undone way down his chest at like 9pm when he works day shift. Hes shacked up with her and still currently married to me. So evil 😈 now i realize why he would laugh at serious matters
Don’t let it get to ur self esteem….ur a good person and deserve so much better then that pos….what kind of pig does that to their spouse other then scum….he can act like he’s doing great and wonderful but just know he’s with another person because he’s dead inside and needs someone to suck the life out of…he’s drained u to the point u aren’t giving him the attention he wants and needs….kind of like how the pets get worms….ur husband would be the worm slowly trying to kill off the pet in order to survive…I’ve been divorced for 15 years now and am still learning who I am and how to love myself….before I left, I was clueless of who I really was…I had no hobbies didn’t know what music I really liked etc…I had just been existing for 14 years while he openly cheated on me and then blamed me for him cheating….he had me believing I was ugly and deformed as a woman only to discover that is not the case according to his friends lol….I’ve had a few dating situations that turned out to be even worse then the ex….and that’s when I discovered it’s me attracting these types by what I subconsciously believe ….that I don’t deserve love or respect….I’m unworthy and so on….now, I’m completely different…I won’t tolerate the slightest comment intending on tearing me down….or poor treatment…..my ex used to tell me no man will ever want me…..it got to the point I was ok with that possibility cuz id rather be alone then with him for one more minute…remember he will be doing the same thing he’s doing to u now, to her very soon. Just be cold and emotionless towards him cuz to him, bad attention is still attention he’s taking from u….u deserve better then that pos…u will meet someone that fits with u so well…u won’t even remember how shitty it is right now….u will be happy….he won’t ever be happy….and that should put a smile on ur face ….God bless
@w8what575 thank you so much for the encouragement 🙏 You really touched my heart & remind me that there are good people out here✨️❤️ I blocked him today because he had the audacity to wish me a happy birthday yesterday 🤷♀️ Can you believe the nerve!? All interactions can be done by the attorneys from now on. Again, THANK YOU because I'm still in this hurt,it's a rather fresh realization
This describes my ex to a tee .
Wow you made a whole video describing my dad.
The point is, there is no reprieve. They do not let up. If they get bored, they'll create pain in your life for funsies. It doesn't matter how much you sacrifice, how much you effort, it doesn't matter if you somehow do manage to perform perfectly, you will still be punished. It has nothing to do with you. There will always be an excuse.
Ok your information hits home, how do you move on from an individual like this?
All of the low/midrange, so called covert Narcissists I know are really sadistic
Great video
Thank you
OH MY FU‼️eN GOSH!!!
THANK YOU!!!! YOU HIT THE NAIL ON THE HEAD!!!! EVERYTHING
10000%
Hi Darren. I've known people who present themselves as self-sacrificing and loving similar to an altruistic narcissist, but when they're not around other people, they become a malignant narcissist. Is this a thing that malignant narcissists do? Try to make everyone believe that they are a loving and giving person so that no one believes the person they are truly abusing? This would go as far as starting a series of lies several months in advance about a person when the opposite is in fact true. When the abused person starts talking about what is happening, no one believes them because the malignant narcissist has made so many lies. But it's all done in the guise of the narcissist being so loving and self-sacrificing for the person that they're abusing.
Thank you 🦉
My ex brought the affair partner to dinner and stared at me the whole time. This is before I found out he had slept with her.
Thank you.
My sisters husband was the worst that I have ever seen. Her daughter STILL have no contact with her mother. Its been 25 years now. My sisters husband would tear up her clothes, destroy her make-up. tell her children how stupid she is. And the last thing is HE would have never married her if she had not gotten pregnant. My niece repeated this to me when she was 20 or so. So sad hat he would do this to his children
Omg, my father to a tee. We kids were afraid of him.
It's sad to be like this.
They may love to harm pets.
Oh that's my step father 100%. Yeah idk why anyone would choose this personality to date or have a family with... but alas this is my life.
They are in competition with their partners
Spot on
True, true, true 👍
He gave me a whole 4 days to grieve the death of my only child before he gave me the following ultimatum If you don't want to give it (sex) to me that I have options and dropped a couple of names. If he's got options why is he still fighting with me about it? Because he doesn't have any options and he knows it.
He's all about food and sex but he's also been impotent for 15 years and to lazy to put in any effort to do anything to even give the appearance that he's trying to be helpful to me he saves all of that for the people that he likes and will go out of his way for those people so they all think he's the nice guy and I'm the monster. But what would they think of him if they knew the truth about him and how he's always treated me? That's actually a wake up call for all of them today it's me and tomorrow it could easily be anyone of them.
Honestly it does not matter when u know what your dealing with.
Omg.
Thank you❤ so politocal...
Unless you witness it, you wouldn't Believe it!
Unless you experienced it.
A sadist can also play hell in a social circle.
My mother and my ex-husband.
I think they understand the concept of empathy, but possess no sympathy
We gotta stop naming terrible personality traits the coolest things ever. Dark Empath? I wanna be whatever kind of wizard that is.
Performative crying is disturbing.
I have met well adjusted sadists in the BDSM community. Narcissism, BPD, etc. are problems. A sadist who tends to hang out with consenting masochists is not a problem. There are three masochists per sadist, I'm told, so it might make sense to train for it if you are lonely and have any tendencies in that direction. There are classes available. Haven't taken any.
I would like to better understand the mindset of those three masochists. I have no idea where they are coming from.
If you're a healthy individual you understand there's no such thing as a well adjusted sadist. The BDSM cult is rife with abusers. Obviously it would be since it's full of people who like to hurt others for sexual pleasure, which is dangerous. That's what serial killers do. Paraphillias also tend to escalate. That's why someone with a paraphillia, their behavior tends to escalate over time. It might start with porn and graduate to flashing, then worse.
Whether a person consents to being abused or not, the fact remains that a sadist is an abuser, who gets off on abusing others. Its bizarre that people have been swindled into believing that's perfectly OK if the abused agrees to being abused by an abuser. It's not ok. It's dangerous to promote BDSM practices as normal, healthy, or something that is safe. It's not.
@@VaporRize08THANK YOU!!! Well said! Consent to abuse is, in my opinion, very strong evidence of mental/emotional problems. And the "Dom" (so called) must be presumed to know that. Such being the case, their consent is worthless, and should be deemed invalid in any ensuing criminal prosecution for Assault & Battery. And that's what it is. And crime vitiates all contracts. No one can legally consent to A&B outside a specifically licensed and pervasively regulated activity (eg., Boxing, Football and other contact sports).
🎼TD, Boston
My verry good friend was just telling me about how years ago
(she has since quit having sex w/him) her husband got an erection at times for example, when her daughter was in a car accident as he witnessed her despair.
And there was another similar situation she told of that he got an erection but I can't remember the details of.
Wow, that's creepy and a little scary.
Thank you so much for all these videos, I have just discovered your channel - VERY helpful. Sorry to ask this but in concert with the above material and some of the others, my question is: would is be possible be a Narcissistic Sociopath with Sadistic tendencies as well as Borderline Personality Disorder? Is that even possible? thank you again and for even taking the time to possibly respond 🙏
There’s a lot of overlap in the symptoms but the same lesson applies- don’t be there or you will be their target. You’ll have to decide if it’s worth staying long enough to get the exact diagnosis by analyzing their repeated abuse.
I would say yes. Thinking my older Covert Narc bro turned into a secondary psychopath. If not a primary one. Definitely, predatory and sadistic!
@@boxelder9167 🙏 I had to leave for mental and physical safety. It's taken months for recovery.
@@KellenAdair 🙏
I still believe it’s not possible to definitively label a Narcissist.
Mine displays a range of behaviours, which include quite a lot of these, but I don’t think he’s sadistic so much as looking for opportunities to start another argument where shouting the loudest = winning.
For the record, I refuse to shout back at him because that’s pouring oil on the flames.
Thank you for this video.
What kind of psychology helps people to deal with a beaten downed mindset? What terminology can I google to help myself? Thank you!
Cognitive dissonance is one to look into. Angie Atkerson was one of the many that helped me. She has since passed away, but her videos are still on RUclips helping people. Dr. Carter is a good one also. I found I needed several different perspectives from different people to put it all together and find some healing. I have forgotten alot of the earlier ones I watched, but hopefully this helps. 😊
@knowtruth2773,
Thank you.
Check out Narc Con. I am sure her videos will help you😊
@lindajohnsen9499,
Thank you! 🙂
cognitive behavioral therapy --- CBT
A roomate can be sadistic I had to get away from one and stalking sexual harassment etc. even. after moving out a text can we still be friends this is unbelievable a person is like this but it’s real avoid these people first red flag get out immmeadiatly