I love this video! The empathy you show goes such a long way. I'm constantly reminding myself of that. Reminding myself that if you want to show your full and true loving self then you must empathize with your lover, not constantly be on the defense. Wish I truly understood that before she dumped me lol
Yeah, I agree, whoever is here watching all these videos are going through hard time, cheating, dump, and all, so we have experience and we can be good couples if choose from here!
I think i must be the only person that doesnt look on their social media. I know it would just hurt...and hurt my progress. Curious? Of course! But i honestly do NOT want any confirmation of my fears.
I do get that but your fears are heightened at the moment I think it is difficult to even think straight at the moment and your ex could return stay hopeful
💓 I was talking to a lady today whose partner left her after 5 years only to return 18 months later they have been togethe ever since and recently celebrated their 27th anniversary so it can happen 💓
That's so relieving hear when each day seems like passing through death.... It's so painful can't express in words of losing a relationship in which we had so much hope in....
Don’t regret your emotions, begging or breaking no contact, it’s completely normal and to be expected. I suggest going no contact for good after trying. They say, those who care for you, will hear your silence. It’s so true. My ex contacted me after 4-6 months, her emotions were neglected as soon as we broke up, she needed to experience life without me, and realised my value, so she never faced reality. As we the dumpee, only grow stronger every day, week and month. They become weaker.
This is a long distance relationship X 3 years . Been apart for a year but only broke six months ago. I've been working on myself n still in no contact. Has he given up and no longer interested since covid is still around. I felt better after six months n confident so u sent a happy new years greeting. He replied in kindness signing off 'all the best'. he no longer follows me on Insta nothing. that doesn't sound weak to me or any signs that he wants this again.
Steven Nguyen me too it’s a fucking shame. We were great together Been dating a beautiful lady who’s three years out of a divorce with an expert gaslighter/narcissistic First 6 months have been fantastic, full of joy, great intimacy ( she’s a therapist) We have great time together surf together work in the garden, talk n laugh and have fantastic sex, she’ll shed a tear in those intimate moments and tell me she’s glad I don’t run and her heart is open to me. Then 3 weeks ago she starts withdrawing, I feel this, so we talk. She has list of things that she say causes her not to feel trust for me. Example. I say I adore her ( I do) When she shares a painful moment, I will listen, be present, then perhaps say I’ve shared a similar experience and I know how tough that can be. I am a good listener. Then she say “ there you go again, making everything about you..u say u love me then always talk about yourself.. your words and actions are incongruent, yesterday you didn’t offer to carry the heavy bag, if you loved me you would, incongruent!!! It erodes my trust, that’s why I’ve withdrawn.. “ I suggested she told me she feels safe with me so bring up matters as they happen don’t hold them inside to smoulder for days and withdraw let’s talk it out, we are great at that” She said I’m not sure how much of this is me and I don’t want to come off as a picky bitch. I said Bringing up matters will show me you value us and want to create intimacy and fix issues... it’s how we can deal with things. It’s exhausting suddenly, I really do care about her. Now I’m overthinking. That was yesterday... let her come to me? I sent a text yesterday asking about day and that I miss her presence and touch. She replied re her day but didn’t acknowledge the personal stuff. I think she has trust issues. She’s in a battle with ex who’s telling the kids she’s a bad mother. Battle to be best parents. Lot on her plate. I asked if she needs space she said I’ve had enough space from u. She said she’s trying to figure out how much of this is her stuff. And if it’s us or the ex problems that’s getting in our way. How do I handle support her. Help. She tried to break up with me. I suggested a week break to reflect. She agreed. What do I do know? Thoughts Be honest people Richard BYRON bay Australia Xxx
@@wategoslife8371 bro she had communication issues, she can't fully vent to u how she's feeling as an issue arise, ik everyone is different. And issue may arise and a person want to reflect on it before they address but ofc they can't wait too long for that and trust me I do understand been in a similar situation where that kind of communication is concern. It's frustrating when u both agree to b upfront and honest with these things and yet the other person has battled up emotion inside. She sounds like an Avoidant they tend to do these stuff. And your doing a great job by listening and I'm seeing a little distorting of reality from her. Where u r listening and trying to connect with her through your similar experience in comparison to hers and she's saying u are bringing the attention to u or someone of that nature; point is I think that's bizarre and it makes me wonder what could cause this communication issue a mean what was her childhood like? Her attachment to her primary care takers etc. I believe all this is playing a role if it's unhealthy plus I think the issue with her ex husband is stressing her and it's not fair to u that it's affecting the relationship negatively especially when u r being understanding and trying to help, if she needs space tell her u love and care about her and that to contact u when she's ready n leave her alone.
If they dump you without reason they dating somebody else behind your back! Let them go. Work on your self. And kiss their ass good bye. Move on! That wasn’t meant to be.
A reason doesnt always mean its theyr real reason either. Experienced it several times that they were actually looking for excuses , some reasons were such a bad lie ,nobody would believe that BS. So... the reason may not always be the real reason.
It would i beleave to move on if we new there were with some one else so hard in long distance we have brocken up 6 times in 4 years i woukd never go back if i new
Less is more. Totally agree on not posting everything or it will be obvious you’re trying too hard to make your ex jealous. Remaining mysterious and not posting will make your ex miss you more if you just disappear.
Remember, YOU attract... Don't chase. Let them experience the time and space without your presence. If they are not a sociopath and are actually a human being with emotions, THEY WILL REACH OUT TO YOU EVENTUALLY! Be strong and focus on personal growth!
They walked away and then I walked away. They came back but I don't care nearly as much anymore I've grown so much as a person I don't have the same extreme desire to be with him anymore. Actually, I can see myself maybe dating a new amazing man in the future 🤗
Damn throughout the course of a day I'm a range of emotions. Sometimes I'm like "oh I miss her so much" then 20 minutes later I'm like "I got this, I'm way better than her". She blocked me off everything and left me for another guy, so I know she'll never come back. But I just love her even if she hates me..
But I know it's stupid to love someone who cheated and left. I know she'll never talk to me again. But it's ok, I'll go no contact and get over her. I pray karma will come back to bite her.
Mine did the same. Told me she love another guy, she regret dating me, she swear to call for if I contact her, dare to tell her parents. And even say she will definently cheat on me if she is with me. Blocked me too so pretty sure my ex is with someone as much as I hate to think about it.
Ash Mo thank you. It has been such a hard month. I was in a year long, long distance relationship. We had an amazing relationship- we were always laughing and always communicating and never fought. As things got more serious (we saw each other for at least a week or two a month - we would take turns traveling to each other. My family loved him, and his loved me. His son had just started calling me Mom - his mom isn’t in the picture at all.) we decided we didn’t want to be apart anymore. Due to some family issues (he takes care of his ill mom), there was no way he could move here... so, despite how much I loved my job (I’m a teacher) I gave everything up to be with him and start our lives together. Fast forward - two weeks before I’m supposed to move (not to mention my parents/my biggest support system, were out of state for a few weeks which he knew)... I’m getting ready for a normal night - we would spend every night together doing something, whether it was watching our favorite shows or playing games or whatever - and he sends me a long TEXT breaking up with me. He tells me he doesn’t think I should move, in fact we need to break up. In short, he felt complacent and just “wasn’t feeling it” anymore. He said his romantic feelings were gone and he felt like I was more of a best friend. I called him - our talk was about five minutes of me just being shocked and him saying sorry. It felt like my worst fear, that he would get bored of me, came true. I couldn’t and still can’t believe it. It’s been a month now and I’m going strong with no contact and slowly trying to work on myself, but I still feel so crushed. The life I was about to have got ripped away, and I’m left jobless, in a house full of packed boxes. The worst part is just how much I miss him and his son. I miss my family. But thanks to Craig’s videos I feel like I’m aware now of my anxious attachment style due to my past, and I feel my ex was terrified of the commitment- of the reality that I was really moving across country for him in a matter of days. He most likely felt trapped. And in his family, where they all ignore their problems, it was easier for him to just end it. Hopefully in time he will realize that we were and still can be an amazing, happy couple and family... but with or without him, I need to find my happiness.
smollybellies wishing for the best for you. Sounds like a real shitty situation. These videos help me but sometimes I feel like this is becoming my new addiction. It’s hard now for me to turn away from breakup videos.
Coach Craig, this video is exactly what my ex admitted this last week when she came by to pick up a few things that she left behind. She said that she has struggled “a lot” with the break up even though it was her idea to do it. After hearing her admit that it made it easier for me to be able to move on (it has been 2 months since the breakup ) because one of the hardest things for me to understand is how she could just be gone from my life after being so relevant in it for 20 months. I appreciate you and Coach Margaret. Your wisdom has helped me tremendously.
My ex was an avoidant. I was very patient with him, and defended some of his actions when friends were wondering why I stuck with him. I loved him with every fiber of my being, and worked hard at understanding him, being patient with him, and being empathetic. He wasn't a bad guy, just brought up differently than my friends and me. I defended him then, and I still defend him today.
I can attest to personal growth. Almost a year on from my breakup and I'm alot bigger in terms of muscle. I've lifted for a year straight and it's great. Plus I'm joining the British army next month. See it works So thank you ex.... Losing her Made me find myself again. Me losing her made me love myself again. But I still love her but i dont want her back. I've outgrown her so much. 😅😅😅
Lonely Guy me too. I pleaded and texted her incessantly for a month just to show how much I cared and loved her. She broke up saying that I don’t love her. She never tried to ask what’s going on in my life before dumping. When I chased her, she did exactly as these guys say, that is, frustrated and annoyed her in the process. I couldn’t take it anymore and went into NC for my own well being. Everyday was torturous when she didn’t read or reply my texts. Only God can pull me out of this tribulation. You stay strong, coz I believe one day the tables will turn. Like they say, everyday can’t be Sunday 😊
Lonely Guy I hear you bro. I’m in NC for over a month now. During my begging and pleading, she really got annoyed and she turned her face sour when she saw me. That sight of her face I couldn’t take anymore and I decided that I will not bother her for some time until, hopefully, time heals her attitude towards me. The only problem is, she lives 2 hours drive from my place, and there is no other way to track her moves unless I see her at train station when she goes to work. I feel terrible to go and chase her like that. I also feel the same way as you are feeling right now. Hopelessness, fear, anger, etc. I try to forget and try occupy myself into different things hoping to forget about her. But you can’t shut the thoughts out of your mind. It’s a vicious cycle. Sometimes I feel ok and sometimes it comes back out of nowhere. I’m not even sure what lies ahead. But I have faith in God that keeps me in check all the time. Else I would’ve been broken down completely. BTW, as I had promised you that I will pray for you and relationship; I did put you in my prayers this morning. And I believe that God will surely hear my prayer for you.
Lonely Guy I feel your pain bro, as I’m going through the same. I myself cried during this time so much that I must have never cried since the day I was born. Hopefully, one day I look back on my moments and think why? And hopefully you too. Days are also hard for me. I stopped going out, esp places where you see couple together, hand in hand, such as malls etc. coz they remind me of my time with her; and that sight is torturous to look at. That’s the reason why I stopped going out much apart from work and the gym. What I have realized is, when I’m sitting all by myself, those thoughts about her haunt me and gets me crushed. That’s y I keep myself occupied most of the time, and that way it’s good. Sometimes I wonder how some people can be so callous and merciless. If I think deeply about our breakup, I believe that she is half responsible for it. But I never argued with her about that, as that would infuriate her. I accepted all of the faults as my own. So you also do not argue with her, but humbly accept them as your fault. Eventually humility will triumph and bring her to senses. I can imagine how much you must have cried, and how many tears you must have shed. Trust me bro, all of those shed tears will never go to waste, as they are accumulated for your ultimate joy one day. I see your pain in those comments, and if I could be of any help for you apart from prayers, please let me know.
This channel is so therapeutic. Craig and Margaret need to win an award or something. But also, can you guys do a video on forgiving someone that hurt you? Anger has set in and I don't like it but its so hard to let it go.
I'm going to say it again... thank God for your video's. About three weeks ago I had to go through a breakup with a highschool crush. We reunited after 22 years but due to circumstances it only lasted about 7 weeks. I'm devastated because I REALLY love this girl. I've never thought about someone being "The One", but she was it. Listening to you and Margaret soothes the pain, and at the same time provides such valuable insight.
I broke up with him. I loved him. I still love him. I am heartbroken. But he lied all the time, seemed narcissistic, threatened me and was insecure. He also took me for granted.... though I did it, I'm still grieving...what about a video for the people that do the breaking up?
No,do not try talking to him.He knows what he did to you.I strongly believe that some people leave u with no choice but to break up with them that is just as good as them breaking up with you.Know your worth and understand that if you reach out to him he will never change.let him realize for himself what he did and decide for himself that he wants to make a change and that he wants u in his life.I know it's hard but it will get better
There is a video by him that describes when a relationship is not worth saving...basically, it's not worth saving if he has an addiction or mental illness or is abusive.
She doesn't have any feelings for me anymore after been together for 4 years.....4 good years. But she thinks future might lead us to be together. I'm not a back up plan or a second choice. Gonna move on.... it's been month since break up
Going through a breakup, your videos give me comfort and hope during this difficult time. If only I would've not given this person a chance after the first red flag. I'm trying to keep myself sane and say positive affirmations.
Craig spoke a lot about over-posting on social media. I agree that over-posting is bad but I think he missed the point a little bit. I don't think the danger is that your ex will think you've got so much going on that you don't care. I think the real danger is that they'll think you're trying too hard to look busy. If you suddenly are posting way more than you were before, it would look to your ex as though you're trying to get their attention and impress him/her. That's just as bad if not worse than breaking NC.
The best thing about watching these is taking this knowledge isn't just about knowing and improving, but helping others with the same advice, and even showing you to them. It's eye-opening really!
It’s hard to believe that they miss you once they are with somebody else, they will reach out to you when things don’t work out with the new person or during a fight but that doesn’t mean they miss you or they want you back, it means you’re their plan B
Yo I been broken up for almost three months and this video helped me a lot I’ve finally gotten over the hump of letting my mind beer towards negativity and untrue things and now I feel happy again
My ex fiancé and I were in a LDR and I haven’t seen her since October 2019. Never did I think seeing her leave would be the last time I ever saw her.. 😞
Same , I left Italy in March , he said think of me when u look at the ring have faith on us ,5 months later he broke up with me 👀👀 I cannot see him because the border control he is Italian and I’m chinese we are long distance due to the covid , I’m in NC 11 days after 2 months broke up 😂😂 Any updates from u ?
Gao Ang we were together for 3 years and I was planning to move to her this year until COVID happened. I’m in the US and she in Germany. She broke up with me in late august and I gave her about a month of NC until I found out she’s now dating a new guy. That was September 29th. I blew up. She’s now blocked me on everything and I’m back in NC. I’m really hurting right now.
Adrian Ross wish the same luck for us , he didn’t date anyone but he said he is afraid to marry and when he was with me it’s working like drugs , he loves me but my love blinded him ,and he doesn’t know when will us meet , it’s impossible blah blahhh .. he didn’t delete me but I unfriend him on Instagram we only hold connection via wechat ,it’s hurt as hell , I’m like addicted on RUclips video these days ,🤯
Your channel is a life line. Currently going through a breakup and just listening to your videos give so much hope and comfort. Thanks Coach Craig and Margaret 😇😊
This is so true, putting it as a lifeline is like the most perfect way to describe the comfort these videos have brought me as I’ve been trying to go through my breakup
They don't feel abandoned when they have have found someone else. No contact itself doesn't work if they have found someone else better or more suitable for them.
You’re a good guy, Craig. I wish there had been social media when I was dumped 40 years ago. I did all the wrong things, although my partner had already moved on to a new guy 6 months beforehand. Still suffering the trauma.
Coach Craig knows what he’s talking about. My ex not ex and I have a chronic habit of breaking up - getting back together. So many times I won’t admit it. Follow Coach Craigs advice and hit the gym.
Craig, can you do a video on when YOU do the breaking up because you feel disrespected and devalued and go no contact...hoping that your ex will reach out when they realize what they lost.
Petros Giorgallis this whole channel is basically about us being dumped and trying to avoid reaching out by going no contact, so there’s a chance they could. Especially when the only reason I broke up with him was because he said he loved me, but he started treating me like crap...so if he actually means what he said than I’m hoping no contact will make him appreciate what he had when it’s not there anymore and clean up his act. Unless of course it was all lovebombing and he’s a narcissist.
matrixband12 thankyou for understanding. Well I guess we are at an impasse then because if I were to reach out and try to reconcile it’s basically telling him that I accept him treating me like crap, so it will feed into his ego. I’ll just cut my losses and accept that he went from being this amazing man, to a totally different person. I’m not just going to accept his breadcrumbing anymore.
matrixband12 I did that before. This is the third time now that we have broken up. The first 2 times he broke up with me but always came back saying he was sorry and things would be as they used to be for a couple of days. This time I had the exact discussion that you are suggesting with him, but it’s almost like he wasn’t listening and was just waiting me to finish what I was saying so that he could turn it around and try to gaslight me with it. I got so frustrated I told him that if he’s not willing to try and even to listen to how I’m feeling than I’m walking. Which is exactly what I did. Now I’m in 3 weeks no contact, and other than an angry text he sent me on Thursday night at 11:30 pm, I haven’t heart from him since.
Am I the only person that doesn’t look at her social media? This is my ex wife and we weren’t ever connected. She didn’t show any empathy at all. I even said before that we should show each other a little empathy, but that wasn’t even acknowledged. She said she wanted us to be only friends, but I told her several times I wasn’t interested in being just friends. She said that’s all she had to offer and goodbye. I’m freaking out!!!!
Thank you for this important information. Six weeks into NC, and I've stopped crying...but suddenly, I'm having a hard time sleeping, while in the beginning I slept too much. I wake up frequently, in a panic state, in a sweat, my heart pounding. Knowing why helps...but even understanding WHY doesn't stop the pain.
I know exactly what you are going through I have had 5 months and counting of this totally look crappie cause of lack of sleep I'm broken hearted I admitt to waking up in cold sweats panic and heart racing but the saddest thing is all we really require is our exes having one conversation with us just closure i guess if we can't work stuff out you know it seems they're holding all the cards at the moment and this NC rule is getting some power back but how are you supposed to do this wen you have been blocked? So childish this action I think
Man, this is exactly what I needed to hear. Had two kids with a total narcissist. They really crush you through vindictive and brutal ways. Vampires. Thanks Craig
Dude, I swear to God.... You're a wizard. She said that about focusing on herself and I only hear how she is still fueling her anger on little things and envy from one woman to another. Almost a month in our breakup and she is still fighting on social media with some other people. Making allusion to people imitating her and stuff like that. Whilst I'm doing kickboxing, back to drawing, feeling positive everyday and growing as a person, got a tattoo, new clothes, hung out and go on karaoke nights every friday, plus I got a new tattoo!!! In just 3 weeks and this is getting better and better Craig. I've met a whole bunch of people and I'm having amazing life experiences. She is just choosing poor self-management. Took me out of her life and she is still in ruins.
Why would an ex tell you to move on only to text you a Happy Easter a few days later followed by the day after that telling you about something good related to work?
After 4 months of no contact I am finally feeling better guys. 3 years, lived together, step kids, and we were engaged. I won't reach out if it means to death, I was dumped and she has relapsed on drugs and hooking up with guy 30 years older with money. Best of luck, at this point it's best to move on of I haven't heard 1 word!
Ive been in no contact for 2 weeks now.. i feel like she's gone for good. Im trying so fucking hard to not think about her but what makes it impossible is bc i help raised her daughter and she wont let me say goodbye
So if I broke up with her and regretted it 3 weeks later only to find out she didn’t want to try again, and blamed her anxious attachment style on me even though she suffered severe childhood trauma, and is now seeing an ex from long ago that they haven’t even talked for 5 years. Then what? We dated for 4.5 years, I’m 27 she’s 24 now. She blocked me everywhere and told me not to fight for her. Tricky
I think she is just angry and blocking you is both childish and won't solve anything I know because my partner has done the same I think you should still try no contact and try and stay away from social media until the dust settles and there's nothing to say that within time you two may be able to dissolve your differences
What if your ex is heartless? Will he still miss me? He specifically told me that he's heartless and gets over people quickly, and I feel that that is true
I have been going through hell since our breakup. I miss my ex so much. Her cousins are my best friends and her brother works for me. So it's hard to not think of her.
When my ex fiancée broke up the relationship it was the most hurtful and devastating moment of my life, I truly loved this girl, she was my everything, my world. Upon breaking up with me she decided to do her own thing and move on with her life and since I knew there was not a chance for a close up I decided to go on with my life as well. Mind you that after the break up I implemented the no contact rule ( an entire year and a half to be exact) and since I was dumped knowing she didn’t wanted me in her life anymore so I moved to a different town closer to my family and started to focus more on myself to create a better version of me to be prepared for down the road in my future and with my friends support and self motivation I started to occupy my mind and my time on other important things that I totally forgotten there actually existed while I was on my last relationship. I focused on my health and started going to the gym and lost 70lbs, worked hard for a promotion at my job, I signed up myself for school to finish my career, started to read again, started to socialize more with friends and family. I have never felt so great, then boom! Out of the sudden my ex texted me recently wanting to know where I been all this time and what I been up to? . Honestly speaking I haven’t text her back since the memory of the heartbreak and all those sleepless nights that I spent crying over her wanting answers as to why she left me still lingers on the back of my mind, plus I don’t know what is the real purpose and reasons behind her texts besides “wanting to know”
Christina Lewis I did reply two days later after her initial text. I kept it short and sweet and business as usual. I didn’t disclose too much information about my current everyday basis or lifestyle, I only responded with the basics of me doing good and being happier. That’s all!
Sounds like me here. 3 weeks ago gf of 11 years dumped me when I was going to propose to her on this Christmas. Im broken completely but I gotta be a better person and get healthier mentally and physically. Im not over weight Im fit skinny but want to pack on muscle. I wanted to do no contact for a month but shes the one who suggested it ughhhhh
@@rottingrage7805 same here man I begged and recently broke no contact after a week when i found out shes been talking to this guy her friend set her up with. Now i gotta restart
@@TheMartymcfly88mph shit.. Id go absolutely mental, but she knows it, if she spoke to any other guy she'd make sure I don't find out, I'd lose it. But then again she used to think I didn't trust her even though I do, so I don't think she'd be doing that. But yeh I struggle to go 1 day without messaging, I'm shit at no contact haha but I need to do it to see if it works, everyone is telling me not to text her and eventually shel text me. The thing is, they test us. If we try no contact they say they still don't want us to get a reaction, and dumb arse here takes the bait... They then have power and reassurance again. Need to stop been an idiot and do this no contact stuff lol
It's been 3 months since she ended our communication. The grief still resonates within me up to this day. The numerous breakup hiccups pain me too much. Wherein, every air I breathe in starts to hurt me. As much as I would like to be remember, her every day reminds me that I am not worthy of one. I hope I can man up enough to get out of this circle and think through of my value. Even these days feel like taking forever - where I slowly picking all the scattered shards of me. I hope one day, somehow, I will end up not just the one who was left behind.
Day 3 of no contact, feeling better in myself after a few issues in myself, not expecting her to reach out but I don’t really care now, i know im better than her in so many aspects anyways, keep yourself positive in tough times, things do get a lot easier!!
He was my soul mate from the very first second i met him when he took my hand to shake it i felt like I had known my whole life I have never experienced that before untill never have since
My boyfriend of 3 years left me, currently I’m pregnant with his child. I love him with everything in me and want him back . He said we fight too much and I’m not what he wants anymore. I blocked him so I can’t see what he’s doing because what he did hurts. I love him so much, we’ve been through so much together and I really wanted us to work . Idk what to do anymore.
this was a great video. about 2.5 weeks out of my breakup - and yeah lots of this makes sense. Been watching your videos to help get me through the roughest parts of it but liked it so much been watching more of them. Took your advice and doing the no contact and more importantly the self work on my issues. Thanks dude
I thought of pursuing a girl I really clicked with, however, felt conflicted because I still want to bring back my ex and also feared losing any progress on my personal growth. After seeing this video I now think it's best to put myself on probation and just work on me. Who knows what will happen
Love your work Craig and Margaret! It helped me through my breakup but now I need to keep working so I don’t lose the beautiful woman that has entered my life.
I am the dumper but I’m hurting and trying to do the work. I ended things bc he wasn’t ready for a commitment even though we had been dating for 10 months. I’m heartbroken but I value myself and needed to walk away since he just always kept me in limbo. It was very hurtful and painful so I needed to do what was best for me and chose to end things. I feel abandoned and sad but I’ve left him alone for good.
I dated an avoidant, blocked me completely when I called him out. He left me with no choice but to move on. I worked on myself (self love + self care) and he helped me to tap into my feminine energy and love myself more. 3 months after when I felt completely detached to him and everything is neutral, I reached out to him and we have been good friends ever since. He eventually told me things that reminded him of me. I was surprised I've affected him in a good way so yes, avoidant will miss you if you have been good to them and they won't reach out to you so up to you if you want to do so or not.
Very powerful video Coach Craig - I love it 😍 Your advice regarding working on yourself and committing to personal growth is a truly life changing experience. I am working with 4 teen girls in trauma recovery who are all having severe relationship difficulties due to their attachment injuries. We watch all of yours and Margaret’s videos and discuss the theories. It is making a huge huge huge difference to their future outlook as emotionally healthy young women and their personal recoveries. Thank you 😊 Have a super day Xx
Oftentimes, I heard you said dumpees made huge mistakes by bombarding and harassing their exes immediately after the breakup. Then the dumper became angry before missing them. HOWEVER, if the dumpee was emotionally strong enough to leave the dumper alone completely, no bombardment, no beggings, just full-fledged no contact right after the breakup, how would their dumpers feel in that case?
No, he is not out there trying to improve himself. Knowing him, he is trying to go on with life trying to avoid thinking about the breakup. In a twisted way this makes me feel so much better about myself. It motivates me because I know that I will improve myself in many areas and he will not. And in the end, if I end up outgrowing this person and no longer hoping they will come back, I will know that they were not the one for me:D I will come back to this video when I need this motivation to keep moving forward! If I could like this video 1000 times I would(:
My name is my ex is the same he likes to avoid thoughts and avoid any sort of feeling that’s why he sleeps a lot and try’s to keep busy this year I accomplished a lot he just recently got a job but at the end of the year -_- so I know I can do so much better I’ve done great things with my life I’ve grown as a person he on the other hand has this dark twisted mind of blocking things and going numb I prefer to feel than to ever destroy others with my self egoistical and selfish ways
I don’t think I should reattract my x as he’s way too young for me😢😢😭😭😭😫😫😫😬😬😬I wish I could warn women to not go there with younger men they are users!!!!!!!At least he got what he needed from me! But I got used
My boyfriend broke up with me Christmas Day . He was always loving and on the Christmas Day I couldn’t believe how cold he was . I ask him what was wrong and he said I love you but not in love with you . My question is why would he be so cold that day .
Am I the only one who doesn't do the social media stalking thing? If they haven't blocked me, I always block them so I don't have to deal with the stress of seeing them pop up (possibly with someone else in the picture...)
My heart breaks when I see even just a picture of a landscape taken by him. It makes me miss him and all kinds of anxious thoughts full my mind. It just feels so bad, so I follow that instinct and stop hurting myself. I don’t look.
Wow this is so enlighting. I love it. I came here to understand why my last ex dumped me trying to understand her behaviour and I now I want to know more about myself! Thank you!
My personal growth is a investment to a better life for me. The work will never stop for me. The more I work on myself the better me I will become! Than you Craig and Margaret!
*THIS* is the one! *THIS* is my keeper! *THIS* is the video that I will watch over and over. Coach, do you really think this is true? I've been having a rough few days, after just short of six months apart. He's in a rebound (three months or so), which I keep watching for signs that it's falling apart, but I'm not seeing any. I really miss him. I doubt his thoughts are on me, they are probably all on the new one. Lately I have been fighting with, if he does come back, will I be able to get past thinking about him sleeping with someone else and just nonchalantly going into a new relationship, while I feel absolutely broken. Maybe you could do a video on that topic? Thank you so much for this one 💜
I think it depends on whether you are serious about taking him back he could come looking for you even months down the line try not to think about not forgiving just try and believe in him returning to your arms stay focused on that (that's what I'm trying to do)
The secret my ex didn’t want me to know is that she was emotionally cheating. God forbid that I found out not just one time but multiple times. The last time I confronted her she just blocked me. I just thought she could of been upfront that we are not working out and that she could walk away. She’s just like that and will do that to the next man. Good luck to him.
In a similar situation, caught her multiple times. So I just told her rebound that he was being cheated on with evidence. Atp, I didn't plan on getting her back so I didn't care that she blocked me afterwards. I just needed that closure that I cannot be with a serial cheater, even if I was so attached and thought I was so in love with her. Months of sleepless nights and being depressed opened my eyes after a while.
Thanks for this video. It really helps us understand how the breaker upper is feeling which helps with our anxiety. Please do more of these...they’re great!
my ex have no way of knowing even if he wants to cause after I got dumped, I removed him from my follower's list and unfollowed him. I'm not curious about his life anymore and even if I am on somedays, I just don't want to know about it I'm dumping him and his family to my past and they won't be in my present nor my future.
I left my ex, because he said he was confused about what he wanted because he developed feelings for his coworker.. I left the moment he couldn’t choose us.. it was the hardest thing I had to do. Craig all your videos have been making me feel better about the choice I made. Not even a few days later he changed his relationship status to single on Facebook and his picture from us to just him. He made me feel insecure about our relationship and would shut down when I would ever bring up how hurt I was by his betrayal and there were other things. I’m just happy to have a place to hang my hat at the end of the day with my parents. It’s been so hard to distant myself from the relationship and him because we shared a dog.. but I’m feeling more and more confident I made the right choice for me.
I think one point Craig brings up that's very important is understanding relationship dynamics, not just with your ex, but in general. I feel much more competent in all relationship dynamics, not just dating. im a bit of an introvert/loaner that lacks some social skills, imo, and these videos help with those things. thanks! much love to everyone!
Thank you !!! I needed to hear this. It's been 159 days NC buy who's counting. This was an important message for me. We were close 3 years and lived together. I went NC day 1 peacefully, respectively, with dignity. WE have not spoken since New years Eve together. She wanted the break up. I told her I felt we were better together than apart. I respected her decision and was gone jan 1st before she got home from work that day. I was gone. I guess we will see. She is in law enforcement, which will tell you. She deals with comply or consequences, not compromise ! She is avoidant, no surprise there, which is why I believe she won't reach out. Cheers
Thank you so much! I felt I couldn’t breathe and no one understands me and you’ve given me so much insight! Thank you 🙏🏽 thank you! It’s helping me feel better!
Advice on hot/cold? My ex is a fearful avoidant- by his recent admission he’s not “normal” bc he has a harder time trusting than other people. He seems deeply hurt by past trauma so I try to be patient and understanding and wait for those defenses mechanisms to fade. We’ve been broken up almost a year and have made progress and only see each other. Last week he was very warm, encouraging and positive in texting- said things he hasn’t said since we were together. Thurs night we had a great interaction- no drama or pressure. Then he declined seeing me Sat and ignored a text on Sat and Sun. Does this hot/cold behavior show his inner conflict and fears? Should I just back off for a few days and let him decompress?
Stacey Swope - our men sound similar girl . I believe his an avoidant and i want a video on hot and cold or mixed messages . I haven’t heard from mine since i saw him 3 weeks ago . My ex does have a bad past and even to this day he doesn’t talk to his mother , so sad !. I think he knows he messed up by not calling back like me said ! How’s it going for you ? I miss him so much but i know i got it move on ...
nicole browne Yes, I’ve been patient but his lack of response over the weekend was just rude. He hasn’t done that in a while. It makes me want to let go. He’s just not ready. I feel well enough on my own to not be upset anymore or even miss him. I’ve really detached at this point. I’d like to be with him, but not in this way. He needs to do his OWN work. Maybe your ex, too.
Stacey Swope - seems they do similar things - mine will act like he is in then pulls away again . If it’s another women be honest but don’t be reaching out to me . When you and I move on i bet they will won’t us back . Do you have fb ?
nicole browne I have Facebook, but my ex doesn’t do any social media. He has remained alone all these months. If he was ready to date and be with someone, he would choose me. He’s just refusing to address any of his issues and is choosing to remain alone. He thinks relationships are too much work. What can I do? I’m not reaching out anymore. His behavior this past weekend was very inconsiderate.
Wow what he said about therapy and personal growth is sooooo true. That’s all i did was grow personally. A year later she was in the spot i was in the break up. Wow insanely true. I grew immensely while she did nothing
craig merrila I’m trying to understand what you said. She dealt with the break up by going with someone else immediately. This is simply a bandaid. I put myself in counseling, worked out my feelings and was able to grow for a year. She would message me randomly about her beloved dog passing years ago etc and how she is down. She doesn’t deal with heartbreak until she hits rock bottom. By then she is in a deep hole
Are any of these videos or advise directed for those of us that were in a 30 year marriage.? And have kids and grandkids, where we have to see each other?
My ex reaches out alll the time (he broke up with me two months ago) but every time he does it’s the whole “hey what’s up” small talk conversation and we relive the convo every time he reaches out... sooo confusing. Craig could you please do a video on when they reach out a lot and what that means because they haven’t said anything in the terms of getting back together or missing me
Add me on Instagram @CoachCraigKenneth
I've just purchased your work books, so yeah one messed up soul from New Zealand hoping u can help me turn my life around x
I’d love to have your feedback on them. There is an email in the end of each volume 👍
Love the workbooks
I love this video! The empathy you show goes such a long way. I'm constantly reminding myself of that. Reminding myself that if you want to show your full and true loving self then you must empathize with your lover, not constantly be on the defense. Wish I truly understood that before she dumped me lol
@@gnnaal Keep going Papa, you'll be a fantastic partner for some lucky woman. ;)
Guys! Why don't all of us (in the comment section) just start dating eachother? Be so much easier!
Works for me! Some of the guys sound like they actually have their act together!
After some given time 😂
I agree most people have no idea what there love language is let alone there attachment style
Yeah, I agree, whoever is here watching all these videos are going through hard time, cheating, dump, and all, so we have experience and we can be good couples if choose from here!
Yes😂 all of us here are actually trying to improve and motivate ourselves. And most of us can’t imagine our other half( I mean ex) doing the same:D
I wish you all healthy loving relationships.
Holly Drucker Hopefully I can one day that’s the goal. 🙂
You too!
@@user-ke3vx9ub4b You deserve it we all do.
Thank you you to!:)
@@trebalero9091
Hello Dr Johnson He can recover your relationship back permanently
I think i must be the only person that doesnt look on their social media. I know it would just hurt...and hurt my progress. Curious? Of course! But i honestly do NOT want any confirmation of my fears.
I do get that but your fears are heightened at the moment I think it is difficult to even think straight at the moment and your ex could return stay hopeful
I deleted all social media
Me too im the same
I've done the same! And for the same reasons
Im the same just the fear of the pain keeps me away
💓 I was talking to a lady today whose partner left her after 5 years only to return 18 months later they have been togethe ever since and recently celebrated their 27th anniversary so it can happen 💓
That's so relieving hear when each day seems like passing through death.... It's so painful can't express in words of losing a relationship in which we had so much hope in....
Wish I could be this lucky
That's a beautiful story to hear 💕
That’s amazing but since going on NC I really just want to be the best version of my self so that I don’t repeat the same mistakes.
I am not hoping and waiting 5 years for my ex to reach back.
Don’t regret your emotions, begging or breaking no contact, it’s completely normal and to be expected. I suggest going no contact for good after trying.
They say, those who care for you, will hear your silence. It’s so true.
My ex contacted me after 4-6 months, her emotions were neglected as soon as we broke up, she needed to experience life without me, and realised my value, so she never faced reality. As we the dumpee, only grow stronger every day, week and month. They become weaker.
Lonely Guy she did you a favor leaving my friend. Assume she is happy with married guy and move on.
Hope you're doing better
I honestly want him to be stronger, because he suffered mental health issues. Hold nothing against him
This is a long distance relationship X 3 years . Been apart for a year but only broke six months ago. I've been working on myself n still in no contact. Has he given up and no longer interested since covid is still around. I felt better after six months n confident so u sent a happy new years greeting. He replied in kindness signing off 'all the best'. he no longer follows me on Insta nothing. that doesn't sound weak to me or any signs that he wants this again.
I'm on 7 month....nc
I started crying as soon as you said they miss you too
Steven Nguyen fucking same.
Steven Nguyen me too it’s a fucking shame. We were great together
Been dating a beautiful lady who’s three years out of a divorce with an expert gaslighter/narcissistic
First 6 months have been fantastic, full of joy, great intimacy ( she’s a therapist)
We have great time together surf together work in the garden, talk n laugh and have fantastic sex, she’ll shed a tear in those intimate moments and tell me she’s glad I don’t run and her heart is open to me.
Then 3 weeks ago she starts withdrawing, I feel this, so we talk. She has list of things that she say causes her not to feel trust for me.
Example. I say I adore her ( I do)
When she shares a painful moment, I will listen, be present, then perhaps say I’ve shared a similar experience and I know how tough that can be.
I am a good listener.
Then she say “ there you go again, making everything about you..u say u love me then always talk about yourself.. your words and actions are incongruent, yesterday you didn’t offer to carry the heavy bag, if you loved me you would, incongruent!!! It erodes my trust, that’s why I’ve withdrawn.. “
I suggested she told me she feels safe with me so bring up matters as they happen don’t hold them inside to smoulder for days and withdraw let’s talk it out, we are great at that”
She said
I’m not sure how much of this is me and I don’t want to come off as a picky bitch.
I said
Bringing up matters will show me you value us and want to create intimacy and fix issues... it’s how we can deal with things.
It’s exhausting suddenly, I really do care about her. Now I’m overthinking. That was yesterday... let her come to me?
I sent a text yesterday asking about day and that I miss her presence and touch. She replied re her day but didn’t acknowledge the personal stuff.
I think she has trust issues.
She’s in a battle with ex who’s telling the kids she’s a bad mother. Battle to be best parents. Lot on her plate.
I asked if she needs space she said I’ve had enough space from u.
She said she’s trying to figure out how much of this is her stuff.
And if it’s us or the ex problems that’s getting in our way.
How do I handle support her. Help.
She tried to break up with me. I suggested a week break to reflect. She agreed.
What do I do know?
Thoughts
Be honest people
Richard
BYRON bay
Australia
Xxx
@@wategoslife8371 bro she had communication issues, she can't fully vent to u how she's feeling as an issue arise, ik everyone is different. And issue may arise and a person want to reflect on it before they address but ofc they can't wait too long for that and trust me I do understand been in a similar situation where that kind of communication is concern. It's frustrating when u both agree to b upfront and honest with these things and yet the other person has battled up emotion inside. She sounds like an Avoidant they tend to do these stuff. And your doing a great job by listening and I'm seeing a little distorting of reality from her. Where u r listening and trying to connect with her through your similar experience in comparison to hers and she's saying u are bringing the attention to u or someone of that nature; point is I think that's bizarre and it makes me wonder what could cause this communication issue a mean what was her childhood like? Her attachment to her primary care takers etc. I believe all this is playing a role if it's unhealthy plus I think the issue with her ex husband is stressing her and it's not fair to u that it's affecting the relationship negatively especially when u r being understanding and trying to help, if she needs space tell her u love and care about her and that to contact u when she's ready n leave her alone.
Same I miss him a lot . Even if he left me in the meanest way
Yes but you know what? If she does not have the balls (in this case, the ovaries) to come back, it does not worth your tears.
If they dump you without reason they dating somebody else behind your back! Let them go. Work on your self. And kiss their ass good bye. Move on! That wasn’t meant to be.
A reason doesnt always mean its theyr real reason either. Experienced it several times that they were actually looking for excuses , some reasons were such a bad lie ,nobody would believe that BS. So... the reason may not always be the real reason.
It would i beleave to move on if we new there were with some one else so hard in long distance we have brocken up 6 times in 4 years i woukd never go back if i new
That is true.
@@Faxtronare you in long distance
Less is more. Totally agree on not posting everything or it will be obvious you’re trying too hard to make your ex jealous. Remaining mysterious and not posting will make your ex miss you more if you just disappear.
Fantastic..... My ex cannot even now see my Dp on wattsapp which I used to change often.... Total vanish.....
Remember, YOU attract... Don't chase. Let them experience the time and space without your presence. If they are not a sociopath and are actually a human being with emotions, THEY WILL REACH OUT TO YOU EVENTUALLY! Be strong and focus on personal growth!
Men, my tear drops when you say "they are thinking about you too"
They walked away and then I walked away. They came back but I don't care nearly as much anymore I've grown so much as a person I don't have the same extreme desire to be with him anymore. Actually, I can see myself maybe dating a new amazing man in the future 🤗
Same thoughts here.
Call me 🤙🏽
Damn throughout the course of a day I'm a range of emotions. Sometimes I'm like "oh I miss her so much" then 20 minutes later I'm like "I got this, I'm way better than her". She blocked me off everything and left me for another guy, so I know she'll never come back. But I just love her even if she hates me..
But I know it's stupid to love someone who cheated and left. I know she'll never talk to me again. But it's ok, I'll go no contact and get over her. I pray karma will come back to bite her.
A lot of people are in the same boat.
Mine did the same. Told me she love another guy, she regret dating me, she swear to call for if I contact her, dare to tell her parents. And even say she will definently cheat on me if she is with me. Blocked me too so pretty sure my ex is with someone as much as I hate to think about it.
@@jupiter-walk5461 I guess you never really know a person till you see how they dump you.
@@connormitchell8048 yep...she was my first and I was her first though... I know it'll be hard to move past that.
It seems like your videos are the only thing getting me through these days. 💕
Ash Mo thank you. It has been such a hard month. I was in a year long, long distance relationship. We had an amazing relationship- we were always laughing and always communicating and never fought. As things got more serious (we saw each other for at least a week or two a month - we would take turns traveling to each other. My family loved him, and his loved me. His son had just started calling me Mom - his mom isn’t in the picture at all.) we decided we didn’t want to be apart anymore. Due to some family issues (he takes care of his ill mom), there was no way he could move here... so, despite how much I loved my job (I’m a teacher) I gave everything up to be with him and start our lives together. Fast forward - two weeks before I’m supposed to move (not to mention my parents/my biggest support system, were out of state for a few weeks which he knew)... I’m getting ready for a normal night - we would spend every night together doing something, whether it was watching our favorite shows or playing games or whatever - and he sends me a long TEXT breaking up with me. He tells me he doesn’t think I should move, in fact we need to break up. In short, he felt complacent and just “wasn’t feeling it” anymore. He said his romantic feelings were gone and he felt like I was more of a best friend. I called him - our talk was about five minutes of me just being shocked and him saying sorry. It felt like my worst fear, that he would get bored of me, came true. I couldn’t and still can’t believe it. It’s been a month now and I’m going strong with no contact and slowly trying to work on myself, but I still feel so crushed. The life I was about to have got ripped away, and I’m left jobless, in a house full of packed boxes. The worst part is just how much I miss him and his son. I miss my family. But thanks to Craig’s videos I feel like I’m aware now of my anxious attachment style due to my past, and I feel my ex was terrified of the commitment- of the reality that I was really moving across country for him in a matter of days. He most likely felt trapped. And in his family, where they all ignore their problems, it was easier for him to just end it. Hopefully in time he will realize that we were and still can be an amazing, happy couple and family... but with or without him, I need to find my happiness.
smollybellies wishing for the best for you. Sounds like a real shitty situation. These videos help me but sometimes I feel like this is becoming my new addiction. It’s hard now for me to turn away from breakup videos.
Try viewing Bernardo Mendez.. he’s. Good too!
smollybellies Ash Mo what happened to your relationship now. Are you back together? Did the no contact work?
@@Bnk2907
Hello Dr Johnson He can recover your relationship back permanently
Coach Craig, this video is exactly what my ex admitted this last week when she came by to pick up a few things that she left behind. She said that she has struggled “a lot” with the break up even though it was her idea to do it. After hearing her admit that it made it easier for me to be able to move on (it has been 2 months since the breakup ) because one of the hardest things for me to understand is how she could just be gone from my life after being so relevant in it for 20 months.
I appreciate you and Coach Margaret. Your wisdom has helped me tremendously.
My ex was an avoidant. I was very patient with him, and defended some of his actions when friends were wondering why I stuck with him. I loved him with every fiber of my being, and worked hard at understanding him, being patient with him, and being empathetic. He wasn't a bad guy, just brought up differently than my friends and me. I defended him then, and I still defend him today.
Did he ever try to get you back?
@@ameliapeach3029 no, he's still with the one he left me for. I still see him at work though.
@@aliacoo wow that must be tough. I hope you meet someone more secure soon!
@@ameliapeach3029 I have, but I still look at my ex every day and feel bad about what happened after twelve years together.
I can attest to personal growth.
Almost a year on from my breakup and I'm alot bigger in terms of muscle.
I've lifted for a year straight and it's great.
Plus I'm joining the British army next month.
See it works
So thank you ex....
Losing her
Made me find myself again.
Me losing her made me love myself again.
But I still love her but i dont want her back. I've outgrown her so much. 😅😅😅
Jack Gaul's Fitness Vlog good on you brother. I’ve been following the same path for 3 months now 💪
Did she contacted you some time?
@@aronchas nope lol
I wish that I had never fallen in love in the first place. I was better off by myself
Lonely Guy me too. I pleaded and texted her incessantly for a month just to show how much I cared and loved her. She broke up saying that I don’t love her. She never tried to ask what’s going on in my life before dumping. When I chased her, she did exactly as these guys say, that is, frustrated and annoyed her in the process. I couldn’t take it anymore and went into NC for my own well being. Everyday was torturous when she didn’t read or reply my texts. Only God can pull me out of this tribulation. You stay strong, coz I believe one day the tables will turn. Like they say, everyday can’t be Sunday 😊
Lonely Guy I hear you bro. I’m in NC for over a month now. During my begging and pleading, she really got annoyed and she turned her face sour when she saw me. That sight of her face I couldn’t take anymore and I decided that I will not bother her for some time until, hopefully, time heals her attitude towards me. The only problem is, she lives 2 hours drive from my place, and there is no other way to track her moves unless I see her at train station when she goes to work. I feel terrible to go and chase her like that. I also feel the same way as you are feeling right now. Hopelessness, fear, anger, etc. I try to forget and try occupy myself into different things hoping to forget about her. But you can’t shut the thoughts out of your mind. It’s a vicious cycle. Sometimes I feel ok and sometimes it comes back out of nowhere. I’m not even sure what lies ahead. But I have faith in God that keeps me in check all the time. Else I would’ve been broken down completely. BTW, as I had promised you that I will pray for you and relationship; I did put you in my prayers this morning. And I believe that God will surely hear my prayer for you.
Lonely Guy I feel your pain bro, as I’m going through the same. I myself cried during this time so much that I must have never cried since the day I was born. Hopefully, one day I look back on my moments and think why? And hopefully you too. Days are also hard for me. I stopped going out, esp places where you see couple together, hand in hand, such as malls etc. coz they remind me of my time with her; and that sight is torturous to look at. That’s the reason why I stopped going out much apart from work and the gym. What I have realized is, when I’m sitting all by myself, those thoughts about her haunt me and gets me crushed. That’s y I keep myself occupied most of the time, and that way it’s good. Sometimes I wonder how some people can be so callous and merciless.
If I think deeply about our breakup, I believe that she is half responsible for it. But I never argued with her about that, as that would infuriate her. I accepted all of the faults as my own. So you also do not argue with her, but humbly accept them as your fault. Eventually humility will triumph and bring her to senses.
I can imagine how much you must have cried, and how many tears you must have shed. Trust me bro, all of those shed tears will never go to waste, as they are accumulated for your ultimate joy one day. I see your pain in those comments, and if I could be of any help for you apart from prayers, please let me know.
This made me feel so much better 😊 love your channel! It’s not just about the ex it’s about self growth, finding yourself and being happy x
Me too I really love his channel make me feel better
This channel is so therapeutic. Craig and Margaret need to win an award or something. But also, can you guys do a video on forgiving someone that hurt you? Anger has set in and I don't like it but its so hard to let it go.
I'm with you on this!
No point in being angry it's an emotion that takes a lot of your time stay positive and see what happens
Dude, you make me feel better and i dont even know why. Heartbreak is hard but for some reason, I feel happier
I'm going to say it again... thank God for your video's. About three weeks ago I had to go through a breakup with a highschool crush. We reunited after 22 years but due to circumstances it only lasted about 7 weeks. I'm devastated because I REALLY love this girl. I've never thought about someone being "The One", but she was it. Listening to you and Margaret soothes the pain, and at the same time provides such valuable insight.
I broke up with him. I loved him. I still love him. I am heartbroken. But he lied all the time, seemed narcissistic, threatened me and was insecure. He also took me for granted.... though I did it, I'm still grieving...what about a video for the people that do the breaking up?
Try talking to him? Bring your feelings to the table....confront gently .
No,do not try talking to him.He knows what he did to you.I strongly believe that some people leave u with no choice but to break up with them that is just as good as them breaking up with you.Know your worth and understand that if you reach out to him he will never change.let him realize for himself what he did and decide for himself that he wants to make a change and that he wants u in his life.I know it's hard but it will get better
There is a video by him that describes when a relationship is not worth saving...basically, it's not worth saving if he has an addiction or mental illness or is abusive.
She doesn't have any feelings for me anymore after been together for 4 years.....4 good years. But she thinks future might lead us to be together. I'm not a back up plan or a second choice. Gonna move on.... it's been month since break up
Going through a breakup, your videos give me comfort and hope during this difficult time. If only I would've not given this person a chance after the first red flag. I'm trying to keep myself sane and say positive affirmations.
I asked if she ever thought of me. She replied not in that way. Case closed. Who cares if she thought of me, it’s not in the way that we want them to.
Still binge watching these vids 4 months in No Contact. I've heard nothing from her. The vids definitely help. Thank you guys.
Did your ex ever reach out to you???
@@archangelelmo nope
Craig spoke a lot about over-posting on social media. I agree that over-posting is bad but I think he missed the point a little bit. I don't think the danger is that your ex will think you've got so much going on that you don't care. I think the real danger is that they'll think you're trying too hard to look busy. If you suddenly are posting way more than you were before, it would look to your ex as though you're trying to get their attention and impress him/her. That's just as bad if not worse than breaking NC.
The best thing about watching these is taking this knowledge isn't just about knowing and improving, but helping others with the same advice, and even showing you to them. It's eye-opening really!
It’s hard to believe that they miss you once they are with somebody else, they will reach out to you when things don’t work out with the new person or during a fight but that doesn’t mean they miss you or they want you back, it means you’re their plan B
Yo I been broken up for almost three months and this video helped me a lot I’ve finally gotten over the hump of letting my mind beer towards negativity and untrue things and now I feel happy again
Yes! Stay dedicated to yourself! Grow for yourself!
Craig, you have created a supportive community of self-healers! You're videos have educated me more about myself than hours in front of therapist
I know of someone who can help you get your ex back
Because he helped me too
🙏🙏
Via...... What'S
+ 2 3 4 8 0 7 7 7 5 1 6 9 5
🙏🙏🙏
My ex fiancé and I were in a LDR and I haven’t seen her since October 2019. Never did I think seeing her leave would be the last time I ever saw her.. 😞
Same , I left Italy in March , he said think of me when u look at the ring have faith on us ,5 months later he broke up with me 👀👀
I cannot see him because the border control he is Italian and I’m chinese we are long distance due to the covid , I’m in NC 11 days after 2 months broke up 😂😂
Any updates from u ?
Gao Ang we were together for 3 years and I was planning to move to her this year until COVID happened. I’m in the US and she in Germany. She broke up with me in late august and I gave her about a month of NC until I found out she’s now dating a new guy. That was September 29th. I blew up. She’s now blocked me on everything and I’m back in NC. I’m really hurting right now.
Adrian Ross wish the same luck for us , he didn’t date anyone but he said he is afraid to marry and when he was with me it’s working like drugs , he loves me but my love blinded him ,and he doesn’t know when will us meet , it’s impossible blah blahhh .. he didn’t delete me but I unfriend him on Instagram we only hold connection via wechat ,it’s hurt as hell , I’m like addicted on RUclips video these days ,🤯
Breakups are best and most motivating time to focus on your health and business goals!
my ex is not human no feelings at all
So mine, she is the monster of Cheating! Cheated me thrice in 4months
Ajay Singh iam so sorry
Thanks Marsha! Sorry for you too! I am from India nd you?
iam from America
He just lost feelings once he had for you. . . Sad but true!
Your channel is a life line. Currently going through a breakup and just listening to your videos give so much hope and comfort. Thanks Coach Craig and Margaret 😇😊
This is so true, putting it as a lifeline is like the most perfect way to describe the comfort these videos have brought me as I’ve been trying to go through my breakup
So true.. I’m going through a break up after almost 4yrs..
Me too, I often listen in the car. Thank you for videos.. I've bought books but they just sit there.
I doubt your ex is thinking about you if they left you for somebody else like their ex boyfriend.
Good one.
They don't feel abandoned when they have have found someone else. No contact itself doesn't work if they have found someone else better or more suitable for them.
Not true.
You’re a good guy, Craig. I wish there had been social media when I was dumped 40 years ago. I did all the wrong things, although my partner had already moved on to a new guy 6 months beforehand. Still suffering the trauma.
Have you thought about therapy?
@@rwentfordable Thanks for your comment. I’ve been in therapy for the past three years or so but my trauma remains unresolved.
Coach Craig knows what he’s talking about. My ex not ex and I have a chronic habit of breaking up - getting back together. So many times I won’t admit it. Follow Coach Craigs advice and hit the gym.
Craig, can you do a video on when YOU do the breaking up because you feel disrespected and devalued and go no contact...hoping that your ex will reach out when they realize what they lost.
Christine Lynn yes please
Petros Giorgallis is this a link or a comment
Petros Giorgallis this whole channel is basically about us being dumped and trying to avoid reaching out by going no contact, so there’s a chance they could. Especially when the only reason I broke up with him was because he said he loved me, but he started treating me like crap...so if he actually means what he said than I’m hoping no contact will make him appreciate what he had when it’s not there anymore and clean up his act. Unless of course it was all lovebombing and he’s a narcissist.
matrixband12 thankyou for understanding. Well I guess we are at an impasse then because if I were to reach out and try to reconcile it’s basically telling him that I accept him treating me like crap, so it will feed into his ego. I’ll just cut my losses and accept that he went from being this amazing man, to a totally different person. I’m not just going to accept his breadcrumbing anymore.
matrixband12 I did that before. This is the third time now that we have broken up. The first 2 times he broke up with me but always came back saying he was sorry and things would be as they used to be for a couple of days. This time I had the exact discussion that you are suggesting with him, but it’s almost like he wasn’t listening and was just waiting me to finish what I was saying so that he could turn it around and try to gaslight me with it. I got so frustrated I told him that if he’s not willing to try and even to listen to how I’m feeling than I’m walking. Which is exactly what I did. Now I’m in 3 weeks no contact, and other than an angry text he sent me on Thursday night at 11:30 pm, I haven’t heart from him since.
Am I the only person that doesn’t look at her social media? This is my ex wife and we weren’t ever connected.
She didn’t show any empathy at all. I even said before that we should show each other a little empathy, but that wasn’t even acknowledged.
She said she wanted us to be only friends, but I told her several times I wasn’t interested in being just friends. She said that’s all she had to offer and goodbye.
I’m freaking out!!!!
This is so spot on. You continue to grow, they remain stagnant.
Thank you for this important information. Six weeks into NC, and I've stopped crying...but suddenly, I'm having a hard time sleeping, while in the beginning I slept too much. I wake up frequently, in a panic state, in a sweat, my heart pounding. Knowing why helps...but even understanding WHY doesn't stop the pain.
I know exactly what you are going through I have had 5 months and counting of this totally look crappie cause of lack of sleep I'm broken hearted I admitt to waking up in cold sweats panic and heart racing but the saddest thing is all we really require is our exes having one conversation with us just closure i guess if we can't work stuff out you know it seems they're holding all the cards at the moment and this NC rule is getting some power back but how are you supposed to do this wen you have been blocked? So childish this action I think
Man, this is exactly what I needed to hear. Had two kids with a total narcissist. They really crush you through vindictive and brutal ways. Vampires. Thanks Craig
Dude, I swear to God.... You're a wizard. She said that about focusing on herself and I only hear how she is still fueling her anger on little things and envy from one woman to another. Almost a month in our breakup and she is still fighting on social media with some other people. Making allusion to people imitating her and stuff like that. Whilst I'm doing kickboxing, back to drawing, feeling positive everyday and growing as a person, got a tattoo, new clothes, hung out and go on karaoke nights every friday, plus I got a new tattoo!!! In just 3 weeks and this is getting better and better Craig. I've met a whole bunch of people and I'm having amazing life experiences. She is just choosing poor self-management. Took me out of her life and she is still in ruins.
Why would an ex tell you to move on only to text you a Happy Easter a few days later followed by the day after that telling you about something good related to work?
After 4 months of no contact I am finally feeling better guys. 3 years, lived together, step kids, and we were engaged. I won't reach out if it means to death, I was dumped and she has relapsed on drugs and hooking up with guy 30 years older with money. Best of luck, at this point it's best to move on of I haven't heard 1 word!
Did your ex ever reach out to you???
Yeah mine was toxic. 5 years and he left me. I’ve not slept better in years!
I have made every single mistake you can make during this break up
Ive been in no contact for 2 weeks now.. i feel like she's gone for good. Im trying so fucking hard to not think about her but what makes it impossible is bc i help raised her daughter and she wont let me say goodbye
So if I broke up with her and regretted it 3 weeks later only to find out she didn’t want to try again, and blamed her anxious attachment style on me even though she suffered severe childhood trauma, and is now seeing an ex from long ago that they haven’t even talked for 5 years. Then what? We dated for 4.5 years, I’m 27 she’s 24 now. She blocked me everywhere and told me not to fight for her. Tricky
I think she is just angry and blocking you is both childish and won't solve anything I know because my partner has done the same I think you should still try no contact and try and stay away from social media until the dust settles and there's nothing to say that within time you two may be able to dissolve your differences
What if your ex is heartless? Will he still miss me? He specifically told me that he's heartless and gets over people quickly, and I feel that that is true
Why would you even want him back if he's heartless?
Break ups Are part of Life
We Grow from Relationships
& We Learn As we go
YES! This is so difficult!!! I am constantly wondering how he's feeling!!
Did he dump u or u him?
I cried when you said "abandonment" it's really painful.
I have been going through hell since our breakup. I miss my ex so much. Her cousins are my best friends and her brother works for me. So it's hard to not think of her.
Craig you killed it in this video. This breakup I’m going thru is challenging me become a better me for life
When my ex fiancée broke up the relationship it was the most hurtful and devastating moment of my life, I truly loved this girl, she was my everything, my world. Upon breaking up with me she decided to do her own thing and move on with her life and since I knew there was not a chance for a close up I decided to go on with my life as well. Mind you that after the break up I implemented the no contact rule ( an entire year and a half to be exact) and since I was dumped knowing she didn’t wanted me in her life anymore so I moved to a different town closer to my family and started to focus more on myself to create a better version of me to be prepared for down the road in my future and with my friends support and self motivation I started to occupy my mind and my time on other important things that I totally forgotten there actually existed while I was on my last relationship. I focused on my health and started going to the gym and lost 70lbs, worked hard for a promotion at my job, I signed up myself for school to finish my career, started to read again, started to socialize more with friends and family. I have never felt so great, then boom! Out of the sudden my ex texted me recently wanting to know where I been all this time and what I been up to? . Honestly speaking I haven’t text her back since the memory of the heartbreak and all those sleepless nights that I spent crying over her wanting answers as to why she left me still lingers on the back of my mind, plus I don’t know what is the real purpose and reasons behind her texts besides “wanting to know”
Christian Castro did you reply back to her?
Christina Lewis I did reply two days later after her initial text. I kept it short and sweet and business as usual. I didn’t disclose too much information about my current everyday basis or lifestyle, I only responded with the basics of me doing good and being happier. That’s all!
Sounds like me here. 3 weeks ago gf of 11 years dumped me when I was going to propose to her on this Christmas. Im broken completely but I gotta be a better person and get healthier mentally and physically. Im not over weight Im fit skinny but want to pack on muscle.
I wanted to do no contact for a month but shes the one who suggested it ughhhhh
@@rottingrage7805 same here man I begged and recently broke no contact after a week when i found out shes been talking to this guy her friend set her up with. Now i gotta restart
@@TheMartymcfly88mph shit.. Id go absolutely mental, but she knows it, if she spoke to any other guy she'd make sure I don't find out, I'd lose it. But then again she used to think I didn't trust her even though I do, so I don't think she'd be doing that. But yeh I struggle to go 1 day without messaging, I'm shit at no contact haha but I need to do it to see if it works, everyone is telling me not to text her and eventually shel text me. The thing is, they test us. If we try no contact they say they still don't want us to get a reaction, and dumb arse here takes the bait... They then have power and reassurance again. Need to stop been an idiot and do this no contact stuff lol
It's been 3 months since she ended our communication. The grief still resonates within me up to this day. The numerous breakup hiccups pain me too much. Wherein, every air I breathe in starts to hurt me. As much as I would like to be remember, her every day reminds me that I am not worthy of one. I hope I can man up enough to get out of this circle and think through of my value. Even these days feel like taking forever - where I slowly picking all the scattered shards of me. I hope one day, somehow, I will end up not just the one who was left behind.
Now?
@@yanabi83did your ex ever reach out to you???
Thank you your videos are helping me threw a really hard time I can't afford to go to therapy so these videos have been a god send
Day 3 of no contact, feeling better in myself after a few issues in myself, not expecting her to reach out but I don’t really care now, i know im better than her in so many aspects anyways, keep yourself positive in tough times, things do get a lot easier!!
He was my soul mate from the very first second i met him when he took my hand to shake it i felt like I had known my whole life I have never experienced that before untill never have since
My boyfriend of 3 years left me, currently I’m pregnant with his child. I love him with everything in me and want him back . He said we fight too much and I’m not what he wants anymore. I blocked him so I can’t see what he’s doing because what he did hurts. I love him so much, we’ve been through so much together and I really wanted us to work . Idk what to do anymore.
Be strong. What meant to be will be
Thank you.. I just wish everything would turn around
this was a great video. about 2.5 weeks out of my breakup - and yeah lots of this makes sense. Been watching your videos to help get me through the roughest parts of it but liked it so much been watching more of them. Took your advice and doing the no contact and more importantly the self work on my issues. Thanks dude
I thought of pursuing a girl I really clicked with, however, felt conflicted because I still want to bring back my ex and also feared losing any progress on my personal growth. After seeing this video I now think it's best to put myself on probation and just work on me. Who knows what will happen
Can you do a video that talks more about how we should handle social media during No Contact?
If you don’t heal your traumas, you will keep meeting the same person in a different body.
Love your work Craig and Margaret! It helped me through my breakup but now I need to keep working so I don’t lose the beautiful woman that has entered my life.
I am the dumper but I’m hurting and trying to do the work. I ended things bc he wasn’t ready for a commitment even though we had been dating for 10 months. I’m heartbroken but I value myself and needed to walk away since he just always kept me in limbo. It was very hurtful and painful so I needed to do what was best for me and chose to end things. I feel abandoned and sad but I’ve left him alone for good.
Currently going through it. Thank you for your videos Coach Craig. I always find comfort in your advice and outlook.
I dated an avoidant, blocked me completely when I called him out.
He left me with no choice but to move on.
I worked on myself (self love + self care) and he helped me to tap into my feminine energy and love myself more.
3 months after when I felt completely detached to him and everything is neutral, I reached out to him and we have been good friends ever since.
He eventually told me things that reminded him of me. I was surprised I've affected him in a good way so yes, avoidant will miss you if you have been good to them and they won't reach out to you so up to you if you want to do so or not.
Very powerful video Coach Craig - I love it 😍 Your advice regarding working on yourself and committing to personal growth is a truly life changing experience. I am working with 4 teen girls in trauma recovery who are all having severe relationship difficulties due to their attachment injuries. We watch all of yours and Margaret’s videos and discuss the theories. It is making a huge huge huge difference to their future outlook as emotionally healthy young women and their personal recoveries. Thank you 😊 Have a super day Xx
Oftentimes, I heard you said dumpees made huge mistakes by bombarding and harassing their exes immediately after the breakup. Then the dumper became angry before missing them. HOWEVER, if the dumpee was emotionally strong enough to leave the dumper alone completely, no bombardment, no beggings, just full-fledged no contact right after the breakup, how would their dumpers feel in that case?
No, he is not out there trying to improve himself. Knowing him, he is trying to go on with life trying to avoid thinking about the breakup. In a twisted way this makes me feel so much better about myself. It motivates me because I know that I will improve myself in many areas and he will not. And in the end, if I end up outgrowing this person and no longer hoping they will come back, I will know that they were not the one for me:D I will come back to this video when I need this motivation to keep moving forward! If I could like this video 1000 times I would(:
My name is my ex is the same he likes to avoid thoughts and avoid any sort of feeling that’s why he sleeps a lot and try’s to keep busy this year I accomplished a lot he just recently got a job but at the end of the year -_- so I know I can do so much better I’ve done great things with my life I’ve grown as a person he on the other hand has this dark twisted mind of blocking things and going numb I prefer to feel than to ever destroy others with my self egoistical and selfish ways
Well... My ex just unfollowed me on instagram. So now there's less chance that she might be "stalking" me! She even restricted me on facebook.
I don’t think I should reattract my x as he’s way too young for me😢😢😭😭😭😫😫😫😬😬😬I wish I could warn women to not go there with younger men they are users!!!!!!!At least he got what he needed from me! But I got used
My boyfriend broke up with me Christmas Day .
He was always loving and on the Christmas Day I couldn’t believe how cold he was . I ask him what was wrong and he said I love you but not in love with you .
My question is why would he be so cold that day .
Am I the only one who doesn't do the social media stalking thing? If they haven't blocked me, I always block them so I don't have to deal with the stress of seeing them pop up (possibly with someone else in the picture...)
I won't look either. I don't want to know.
Agnes P same, but I was the one to block them not them me.
Totally understandable, it just causes you unnecessary pain.
My heart breaks when I see even just a picture of a landscape taken by him. It makes me miss him and all kinds of anxious thoughts full my mind. It just feels so bad, so I follow that instinct and stop hurting myself. I don’t look.
Me too. The breakup happen kind of 1 month ago and i've never seen the social media him.
Wow this is so enlighting. I love it. I came here to understand why my last ex dumped me trying to understand her behaviour and I now I want to know more about myself! Thank you!
Oh man! This video is amazing craig! I’m so grateful to have found your channel seriously ! You’re saving my mental health
Thank u Ms Design 🤓
Coach Craig Kenneth no Craig thank you! I’m sending you a cyber hug. :-,D
My personal growth is a investment to a better life for me. The work will never stop for me. The more I work on myself the better me I will become! Than you Craig and Margaret!
*THIS* is the one! *THIS* is my keeper! *THIS* is the video that I will watch over and over. Coach, do you really think this is true? I've been having a rough few days, after just short of six months apart. He's in a rebound (three months or so), which I keep watching for signs that it's falling apart, but I'm not seeing any. I really miss him. I doubt his thoughts are on me, they are probably all on the new one.
Lately I have been fighting with, if he does come back, will I be able to get past thinking about him sleeping with someone else and just nonchalantly going into a new relationship, while I feel absolutely broken. Maybe you could do a video on that topic? Thank you so much for this one 💜
I think it depends on whether you are serious about taking him back he could come looking for you even months down the line try not to think about not forgiving just try and believe in him returning to your arms stay focused on that (that's what I'm trying to do)
The secret my ex didn’t want me to know is that she was emotionally cheating. God forbid that I found out not just one time but multiple times. The last time I confronted her she just blocked me. I just thought she could of been upfront that we are not working out and that she could walk away. She’s just like that and will do that to the next man. Good luck to him.
In a similar situation, caught her multiple times. So I just told her rebound that he was being cheated on with evidence. Atp, I didn't plan on getting her back so I didn't care that she blocked me afterwards. I just needed that closure that I cannot be with a serial cheater, even if I was so attached and thought I was so in love with her. Months of sleepless nights and being depressed opened my eyes after a while.
Thanks for this video. It really helps us understand how the breaker upper is feeling which helps with our anxiety. Please do more of these...they’re great!
my ex have no way of knowing even if he wants to cause after I got dumped, I removed him from my follower's list and unfollowed him.
I'm not curious about his life anymore and even if I am on somedays, I just don't want to know about it
I'm dumping him and his family to my past and they won't be in my present nor my future.
I know of someone who can help you get your ex back
Because he helped me too
🙏🙏
Via...... What'S
+ 2 3 4 8 0 7 7 7 5 1 6 9 5
🙏🙏🙏
I’m pretty sure that I can’t be the only1 who totally LOVES his theme Music with the whistling & upbeat Cords!! Lol MAKES ME HAPPY EVERY TIME!!! LOL 😊
Me too! It's happy!!😊💟
I left my ex, because he said he was confused about what he wanted because he developed feelings for his coworker.. I left the moment he couldn’t choose us.. it was the hardest thing I had to do. Craig all your videos have been making me feel better about the choice I made. Not even a few days later he changed his relationship status to single on Facebook and his picture from us to just him. He made me feel insecure about our relationship and would shut down when I would ever bring up how hurt I was by his betrayal and there were other things.
I’m just happy to have a place to hang my hat at the end of the day with my parents. It’s been so hard to distant myself from the relationship and him because we shared a dog.. but I’m feeling more and more confident I made the right choice for me.
Any update?
abandonment is deep
I think one point Craig brings up that's very important is understanding relationship dynamics, not just with your ex, but in general. I feel much more competent in all relationship dynamics, not just dating. im a bit of an introvert/loaner that lacks some social skills, imo, and these videos help with those things. thanks! much love to everyone!
Thank you, Craig and Margaret for helping me and so many others. I wish all of you loving relationships..
Thank you !!! I needed to hear this. It's been 159 days NC buy who's counting. This was an important message for me. We were close 3 years and lived together. I went NC day 1 peacefully, respectively, with dignity. WE have not spoken since New years Eve together. She wanted the break up. I told her I felt we were better together than apart. I respected her decision and was gone jan 1st before she got home from work that day. I was gone. I guess we will see. She is in law enforcement, which will tell you. She deals with comply or consequences, not compromise ! She is avoidant, no surprise there, which is why I believe she won't reach out. Cheers
Thank you so much! I felt I couldn’t breathe and no one understands me and you’ve given me so much insight! Thank you 🙏🏽 thank you! It’s helping me feel better!
Love is always the answer
I hope we all find it
Advice on hot/cold? My ex is a fearful avoidant- by his recent admission he’s not “normal” bc he has a harder time trusting than other people. He seems deeply hurt by past trauma so I try to be patient and understanding and wait for those defenses mechanisms to fade. We’ve been broken up almost a year and have made progress and only see each other. Last week he was very warm, encouraging and positive in texting- said things he hasn’t said since we were together. Thurs night we had a great interaction- no drama or pressure. Then he declined seeing me Sat and ignored a text on Sat and Sun. Does this hot/cold behavior show his inner conflict and fears? Should I just back off for a few days and let him decompress?
Stacey Swope - our men sound similar girl . I believe his an avoidant and i want a video on hot and cold or mixed messages . I haven’t heard from mine since i saw him 3 weeks ago . My ex does have a bad past and even to this day he doesn’t talk to his mother , so sad !. I think he knows he messed up by not calling back like me said ! How’s it going for you ? I miss him so much but i know i got it move on ...
nicole browne Yes, I’ve been patient but his lack of response over the weekend was just rude. He hasn’t done that in a while. It makes me want to let go. He’s just not ready. I feel well enough on my own to not be upset anymore or even miss him. I’ve really detached at this point. I’d like to be with him, but not in this way. He needs to do his OWN work. Maybe your ex, too.
Stacey Swope - seems they do similar things - mine will act like he is in then pulls away again . If it’s another women be honest but don’t be reaching out to me . When you and I move on i bet they will won’t us back . Do you have fb ?
nicole browne I have Facebook, but my ex doesn’t do any social media. He has remained alone all these months. If he was ready to date and be with someone, he would choose me. He’s just refusing to address any of his issues and is choosing to remain alone. He thinks relationships are too much work. What can I do? I’m not reaching out anymore. His behavior this past weekend was very inconsiderate.
Keep your chin up! I’m not letting him or any other person steal my joy!!!
Wow what he said about therapy and personal growth is sooooo true. That’s all i did was grow personally. A year later she was in the spot i was in the break up. Wow insanely true. I grew immensely while she did nothing
Wow. She was where you were at at breakup. How did she requested h out to you and what happened?
craig merrila I’m trying to understand what you said. She dealt with the break up by going with someone else immediately. This is simply a bandaid. I put myself in counseling, worked out my feelings and was able to grow for a year.
She would message me randomly about her beloved dog passing years ago etc and how she is down. She doesn’t deal with heartbreak until she hits rock bottom. By then she is in a deep hole
Sorry mate, typos. It meant to read 'how did she reach out to you'
Are any of these videos or advise directed for those of us that were in a 30 year marriage.?
And have kids and grandkids, where we have to see each other?
Thank you, my heart is broke, left me for another, listening to you really helps.
My ex reaches out alll the time (he broke up with me two months ago) but every time he does it’s the whole “hey what’s up” small talk conversation and we relive the convo every time he reaches out... sooo confusing. Craig could you please do a video on when they reach out a lot and what that means because they haven’t said anything in the terms of getting back together or missing me
Omg I’m going through the exact same thing
Same