i disagree that showing your 2 yr worn shoes was in any way counter productive. it shows: you wear them, you LIKE them, and they WORK..... a milion times better than some dry or tongue in cheek "yes, im reciting this script for some random product coz theyre paying me" spiel that the 99.9% of other channels do.. got my attention anyway. im checking Vessis site now
My application letter for my current job came down to, "I have no particular passion for this work, but I need money, so it's in both of our interests if I do the job well." Then at the interview (or maybe it was even in the letter itself) I also said I have a strict nine-to-five mentality because I have better stuff to do than working. They said, "That sounds entirely reasonable and it's good to hear you have a rich life outside of work," and I've been working there for nearly nine years now. Great place.
I'm curious about what field of work this is, like if it's banking or some other desk job where you just file reports and such, that makes sense, though if it's something technical like engineering or being a doctor or something, I'd be a bit concerned, but it's still reasonable
@@dont-worry-about-it- Programming mostly. I like seeing things work and tinkering with stuff, but maintainability isn't exactly high on my list of priorities. I really do like the company I work for, though, and my 'just make it work' mindset is actually useful when a customer has an issue, so I'm more third line support and devops than developer now.
@2:00 the fact that Simon admits he pays potential writers for their SAMPLES just proves, yet again, he is a GOD. DAMN. PROFESSIONAL. Isn't that right Kevin!!!
As a writer who has spent countless days researching and writing what I hope is the perfect sample only for most to get rejected or the gig not paying well enough anyway, the idea of getting paid for all of that time and energy sounds like a fantasy. Then again, he saves money later by making them grow their own mushrooms in the basement. Small investment, big returns.
Plus Simon asking questions like "how do you feel about enclosed spaces " and "how long can you go without food and water" would make people suspicious
I never had to interview for my job because I work at the gym I do gymnastics at so my boss already knew me as an athlete for 4 years before I got hired
Me: legally blind with a PhD, Masters, BA(Hons)... unemployed and nothing but rejections for the last six months. Going to have to listen to this again as I'm too annoyed to focus. Dave, keep rocking it. Simon, thank you.
With a Phd, and as many channels as Simon has, it sounds entirely possible that you could potentially write scripts for at least one of Simon's channels, depending on what your Phd is in. Alternatively, now that I think about it, if he doesn't have a channel that would make sense for you to write for, you could also suggest a new channel.
When i worked for the department of homeland security they were extremely paranoid about USB based security breaches. You were NEVER allowed to plug any type of USB device into any piece of DHS hardware, regardless of the context or circumstances, without explicit permission to do so. You weren't even allowed to use a USB mouse that wasn't specifically provided to you by the department.
if you worked for Homeland Security tell me who you report domestic terrorism to please? I really need to know considering all devices I have access to I'd have to break the law to contact anyone to get assistance and report what is happening in this town and I'm not about to break a law. They jam my signal and reroute my calls to local paid for hire corrupt cops. It's insanity. I wouldn't shut my mouth about the youth murders so then they started attempting to murder me. They won't allow me to leave. Nah they would rather silence me.
I love Simon, he literally is the definition of a "suburbanite", he said I waded through a "river" and I look up, it's just a 2"inch or 5cm stream and I start crying 😂!
Yeah, he said it like he was stepping into a raging river, but it's a creek, that only has water running in it because it probably just rained, how's that not funny! I live by actual rivers, so I find it funny!@@wingerding
The best job interview I ever had was for a machine shop. I walked in, and they handed me a print and pointed at a machine and said, "Make this." So I made the part and have been working there for 10 years, and the interview process is still the same.
We installed emergency 911 tracking in cell sites back in the early 2000s. All smart phones are tracked to within 30 feet. Drives me CRAZY when people and Dispatch waste time arguing about locations you can see within 30 feet on the damn screen. We'd be able to track cell phones within 30 centimeters across the United States if the United Stated gave af about it. Instead its just more tech and rent to be paid for the parts. - 30 feet is enough in most cases anyway.
We had cameras in our ambulances that recorded every square inch of the patient bay. In the er and Maternity/l&d and peds are some of the highest levels of security in the building. It take a passcode, a keycard, and a fingerprint just to enter l&d
@@Loralanthalasthe hoops law enforcement has to jump through to get warrents for a missing persons cell phone are appalling. We have had several younger autistic people get lost for days at a time because the phone companies want warrents to release the files. I get right to privacy, but why pretend the government does when a life is in danger.
In a job working on computers/ copiers/ printers/ software I sometimes worked at the security office (not for it) in an inner city hospital, my city's most profitable one, and they had NONE of that. In fact most of their screens had burnout spots on them. They contracted security out to another company. The highest security area was in the blood bank, specifically in a locked room within that contained a device that irradiated blood samples for the BMT program, a device I once got to take apart. Had a Cs-137 sample in it. You needed to scan your eye to get in there, everywhere else, badges. Labor and Delivery was more secure than other areas with tracking on the babies which was accurate to within inches and would trigger alarms if outside certain areas. You had to be careful not to hit the elevator when they were rolled by or it would set off the alarm. But face tracking would be straight up science fiction to the facility I worked at and probably 99% of them in the US.
@@LoralanthalasNah buddy. Cell Phone Location Data is notoriously Iffy. When I log into my College Student Account, it gives me a Security Prompt and two factor kicks in...asking me to authorize use from "such and such location". That data is usually off by an hour and a half drive distance. When you track Phones, it mostly tracks to the nearest Cell Tower or even a nearby Hub.
Because the platform is privately owned, we can’t claim the same freedoms that we would on a soap-box in the town square, but just like you: I’ve become habituated to blurring certain words. It’s not very “freedom-forward…”
Yeah, Top Secret clearance just means you’re cleared to be in and hear certain sensitive information. I had a TS clearance, and I didn’t even get to learn one cool secret.
My late father had, for a few years in the 60s, one of the highest clearances in the US military, Top Secret/Secure Compartmented Information--Cryptological (TS/SCI-CRYPTO), due to his job at a now-closed Army listening post in Berlin. He said that in general, the higher the classification, the more boring the material was. All the really interesting stuff was Secret or lower (including FOUO and Reasonable Care), and the one time he got to see something that actually did have an SCI-CRYPTO tag on it, it was simply a page full of five-digit number groups that were completely meaningless to anyone who didn't have the key to decode them. (No, he did not have that key, and no, he never found out what any of it meant, he was basically just asked to compare the transcription to the audio recording they were transcribed from for accuracy.) Or, as Tom Clancy once put it, the daily TS briefs that are distributed to certain high muckety-mucks in the intelligence community tend to not include anything you couldn't learn by reading Time Magazine a week later, but written more poorly and with more typos.
I'm pretty sure I've heard Simon tell the story about how he realized that "Lengthy" does not have a second "L" as in "Lengthly" at least 10 times, and yet... he still says "LengthLy" all the time. I can't unhear it now. 8:28, Thanks Simon.
I've also heard him and other English and Australian people not pronounce the middle r in arbitrary. I guess maybe it's the standard pronunciation there, but it makes me wonder what happened to the r? Do they spell it without the r? Arbitary... My spell checker certainly doesn't like that.
@@chitlitlahI'm English and I can say with absolute certainty that it is most definitely NOT the standard pronunciation here. I've found that it's mostly the younger generation who seem to have difficulty when it comes to spelling and pronunciation.
An interview is a way of filtering out the people who lie on their CV, the better way is get them to prove they can do the job... Simon's "Interview" process suddenly looks perfect
@@captainspaulding5963 Yes, I figured as much, but what does it standfor? Are you allergic the the actual words? Would have ben quicker and more efficient to just say the two words...
@krisspkriss are you allergic to using Google instead of waiting for Random Internet Person #5422456789532 to answer questions for you? Also, in your original post, you asked what a CV was..... not what it meant.... maybe next time, actually say what you mean instead of expecting people to read your mind.
I know you're an expert RUclipsr cuz you been doing this for a hundred years, and you have a hundred channels. That legit was one of the best ad reads I've ever seen. And I agree with your mystery person seeing them having been worn is actually a very good selling technique. bravo mate.
Showng that the shoes you wore constantly for two years until there's practically holes in the soles are still fairly good is a great way to show off the shoes. Now I'm actually thinking about getting some. Well until i see the price anyway.
If the work is good, the work is good. It's not complicated. That alone makes this my favorite video hosted by Simon. The thoroughly beaten Vessi shoes were the cherry on top.
Great job, team. Dave, wonderful script. I laughed boisterously. Great stuff, keep it coming. Simon, please fertilize the mushrooms closest to his radiator, and maybe gift him a small jar of Vaseline so he doesn't chafe his ankle so much from the chain. He earned it.
That "rabbit telepathy" thing reminds me of a method of faster-than-light communication proposed by Terry Pratchett in one of his Discworld novels. The theory was that the only thing faster than the speed of light is the speed of royalty. When a king dies, the next in line to the throne instantly becomes king, no matter how far apart they are, possibly by means of quantum entanglement or some yet undiscovered sub-atomic particle he tentatively named the "Kingon" He proposed conducting experiments involving the modulated killing and resuscitating of kings, and measuring the regalness of their heirs.
Whereas Douglas Adams, in one of the Hitchhiker's Guide novels, proposed that the only thing that travelled faster than light was Bad News, which follows its own unique physical laws. He said that there was an attempt at leveraging this as a propulsion system for starships, but while it worked, the ships using it were never welcome anywhere they went and thus the system never became widely used.
The only thing faster than the speed of light is the speed of darkness but that's more of a consideration of whether darkness is a constant or not. Also faster is the electric company billing dept...always seems like I get the next billing statement from these assholes as soon as I pay the f-ing last one and occasionally with a f-ing 5-10%(+) rate increase notice.
Sending a portfolio is equivalent to a resume. Writing a sample to be reviewed is actually more valuable than a conventional interview because it allows you not only to see the person’s abilities prior to hiring them but you learn something of their personality as well. You conducted an interview through your conversations with them, and the requests you made, albeit unconventional.
Completely random aside, but thank you so much for paying people for the sample/example you request for deciding if their work fits the vibe of the channel. There are so many jobs I’ve prepared to apply for and end up backing out because they want extensive free labor through presentations and written samples, and that is often freehand for “we are mostly doing this for free material and ideas from outside perspectives.” It is one of the red flags that I outright say no to (next to “in this company we treat each other like family” in a large corporate structure and anything that just smells like MLM bullshit that’s been covered in glitter to get you to apply) so I’m glad that people like you take an alternate route that gives you the relevant information to decide to move forward with, but without the expectation of free labor.
Everyone makes mistakes, right? I mean, do we really think a country can make lazer guided bombs hit the target with in an inch, when they cant build a maschine that can count voting Papers correct?
Where I work the favourite reason that someone gets the promotion is “they done the best interview !” That means that someone who has next to no experience in the position gets the job over someone who has been covering that position for years when due to sickness, holidays etc etc. nothing to do with favouritism, family or other illegal reasons.
2:55 - Mid roll ads 5:20 - Back to the video 7:10 - Chapter 1 - The NSA ant catalog 14:00 - Chapter 2 - Weaponized lightning 17:35 - Chapter 3 - Planned invasion of cuba 19:30 - Chapter 4 - Soviet researchers allegedly used rabbits to telepathically communicate with submarines 21:55 - Chapter 5 - FBI file on bigfoot
That talk about how many cameras are in Simon's office reminds me of my favorite terrifying cybersecurity fact. You know those little indicator lights on webcams? I always assumed they were wired up in a way where the camera physically cannot function without also turning that light on but it turns out that that's actually pretty rare.
I have 2 cameras in my house and there's an option in the camera's settings where I can choose to either leave the light on or turn it off. Whichever option I pick doesn't affect the camera's ability to function whatever.
@@chloewright1 My point is that many cameras don't have that option, or the option is only available by actually installing the vendor's software. There's no universal "Light off" setting in Windows. So, a hacker/viruse may be able to subvert common cameras, but you need to accumulate a database of different cameras. Which either involves crowd sourcing, large amounts of manual work against individual targets, or a lots of money to buy cameras.
Love how nearly 8 mins of this video is utter gibberish , hilarious , Simon you could literally talk about anything and it would be funny ! The history of toothpaste could make me howl laughing . The best add placement ever !😂😂😂😂
You don't need Drones and a Wire to weaponize lightning. A Laser can be used to create a path of ionized gas to the target and an Electric Bolt would be likely to use the Ionized Path.
1. Find Dave. 2. Interview Dave. 3. Realize living in Simmons basement is not worth being a writer. 4. Cave in to the coveted position of writer and replace Dave. 5. Live the dream. 6. Buy a pair of VESSI 100. (Only actually going to do step 6. Told my wife I'm ordering 2 pairs of shoes because they seem legit and worth it, because Simon actually really wears several pairs. And doubt I'm a quality writer worth any note so won't risk any of Fact Boys channels, from his basement or anywhere else). Thanks for the videos. (Also I love editing, but your videos need no additional assistances).
I think almost everyone agrees that interviews are pointless BS these days. So why the hell can't we ditch all that nonsense?! And don't get me started on cover letters and resumes...
14:35 As an American, I appreciate that viewpoint. I will add to it. There is generally a positive goal/reason. The boots on the ground and other military personnel are doing it to achieve a positive outcome. The upper level of the military, government officials, and military suppliers generally also have their own secret personal goals(to gain money and power). The actions of those few are definitely wrong. However, that doesn't nullify the noble reason everyone else is fighting for.
I'm a business owner who's done interviews, and that's despite the fact I lost out on many jobs that I was qualified for because I choke in inteviews and also think interviews are pointless and dumb. I haven't done away completely with interviews, but I agree that for a lot of jobs they're completely pointless. I recall getting hired for a fastfood job, I showed up for "the interview" and there were a bunch of people there, and there was no interviewing it was actually an orientation. "You're all hired, and here's the rules..." I do feel interviews are important for front desk positions, sales, and high end customer service jobs. However, those are jobs that are going the way of the dodo.
Finally able to get a pair of #vessi shoes! And made sure to give credit to the Legend Simon Whistler lol. I know women aren't the largest demographic of viewers, but for those out there, the Women's Weekend Chelsea - Asphalt Black on Black is muah! chefs kiss cute! I'll let yall know how they go :)
😅😅 14:38 ummm ill take a lightening strike.... They have been known to sort out medical shit in ppl that survive it and my physical therapist did say nothing short of surviving another two story fall or lightening could put me back together again 😅😅😅 ill take my chances with lightening over 15 back surgeries any day. 😊
7:03 similar feels when we got ereaders and you pull up the bible because now you can get directly to the devil..... A long list of names and failed searches later and well at least we have paradise lost 😅
15:49 you could pinpoint lightning if you ran a particle bean through the charged cloud towards your target to conduct the bolt - in neutral air, it's Blind Man Buff.
Fun fact: There is a big foot museum in Boring, Oregon. It's near Portland and about 90 miles from The Dalles (Dalles is pronounced with the hardish "a" sound in Amhurst). If you're ever in The Dalles, Spooky's Pizza is the place to eat. Not affiliated with the museum or Spooky's.
Simon, I’m surprised at you. We got through the whole Lightning entry, and even the part about using it for religion, without a Stargate reference? There was an entire episode of a planet where they did just that! (The “Middle English” village, where they first heard of Sokar. The leader had a ring that summoned it)
Lightning would be a psychological weapon. Think about it. Super seed clouds to cause a storm and then float the drone over the target and 30 strikes in the same area happens. Dudes be like “wtf haints be here run away!!!”
I worked at a certain USAF base in the UK in 2002 doing electrical work as a contractor. They had provisions in place to stop people listening into telephone calls through the power cables that came into the building! The power cables didn’t even connect to the telephones but apparently the US had the tech to be able to do this so had to assume other unfriendly nations had the same, that was nearly 23 years ago so god knows what tech we don’t know about now.
They have this since Nikolas Tesla, he invented power moving without cable. We wouldn't need all those cables, but hell who would make a fortune... the wrong guy.😂
I find job interviews quite fun 😅 I have so far never had an interview and not been offered the job. I make sure they do’nt forget me. Once I was asked what my weakness was and I said ”well, coming to think of it I do have a weakness for chocholate”. The laughter they bursted out in was amazing and I was hired on the spot. Guess they’ve had a lot of bland interviews alla day 😂😂😂
My son applied for a job he was in no way qualified for. When the boss said "You're very young & have no experience in this field, why should I hire you?" My son said, "That's exactly why you should. You can train me exactly how you want. I won't already have bad habits & you can shape me into your perfect employee!" He got the job & his boss LOVED him. 😊
Did anyone inform Simon that henry kissinger died? Also, Simon went to Iceland, now Iceland's volcano is erupting. Coincidence? Conspiracy? I think not.
Just the info that Kissinger died wouldn't tell anything to a person who thinks that the US are the good guys and doesn't know much about their (international) record.
@@tubensalat1453 what you just said proves that one of two thi has OR two of two. A. You're new to the channel B. You're a troll If it's A, welcome, start from the beginning and catch up. If B, we kindly ask that you stay out of these comments.
For the life of me I can't remember which astronaut but I remember reading about one of the Apollo astronauts stating he was given a card with various numbers or phrases that he was to mentally read off and concentrate on at a specific time during the mission. It was speculated that this was an assignment by the CIA, testing if there was any validity to telepathy. I remember thinking this had to be a joke but apparently not.
The reason they investigated Psi powers .. was not because they believed it was real, but the consequences of it being even slightly real were so useful ignoring it completely was not worth the risk ... The reason it remained classified was partly due to embarrassment
@@Little_dick_Prick You got a UFO handle and don't know what psi powers are? They're stuff you "do with your mental powers" as telekinesis, telepathy...
Look if the Australians can weaponize lightning. They're going to start weaponizing their environment. Sam's meme cut in gags get me good. Great job dave and sam. And of course Simon
4:28. Simon day to day- vessi Simon in bed- vessi Simon in the tub- vessi Simon in the huge as River- vessi Simon in the snow- vessi. Simon in the bouncy house with his kids where they make ya take off ur shoes- vessi. Simon in cold storage waiting for his forever life- vessi. Simon waking up 200 years later in post apocalyptic conditions- thank goodness for vessi.
I held a top secret clearance in the military… you would be surprised how limited the scope of what we can look up is. Most top secret clearances mean “we’ve decided we can tell you information mission specific that others may not be privileged to know. When we want to tell you something we will and you’ll shut your mouth.” The information goes down and you honestly wouldn’t know how to access top secret servers or what account I’m sure it’s not an App Store app. When I went to classification office for them upping my clearance from secret to top at the end the older lady said “your all set hun” and I replied “so now I can find out who killed Kennedy? Find out if area51 is real? And if aliens exist?” She just face palmed and said “there’s 1 in every group”.
The thing you are forgetting Simon, is plausible deniability. "The damn lightning bolt didn't hit where we aimed it", has much more value than a laser guided missile that always hits "on target".
Simon my boy I’m one of your listeners from the states. Across most if not all of your channels. And I thought you should know bro… we do care 😁 I enjoy the banter between you and your writers
11:00 IKR...I in the late 1990's learned about a device made that (just using a laser) they could record a conversation from nearly any surface. The laser measured the vibrations on for example a: window and could reproduce the sounds....thats when I knew things were going nuts. They are so far beyond that now.
The best "job interview" answers were David Rose's answers from Schitt's Creek. "Why do u want this job?" David's answer #1. "I don't want this job." When asked again, Answer #2. "I ran out of eye cream." Me too David, me too.😂
Back in the late 90’s I had a commuting buddy on Bart in the SF Bay Area. He worked with cameras. Back then, he said the tunnel cameras were high speed facial recognition cameras. Specifically this was 1998.
20:49 I normally listen to these while doing other stuff, but I looked at the screen when this popped up as an example of a submarine, just another reason I love this channel
20:57 in America we had a show that sounds like what you're thinking of called "What Could Possibly Go Wrong?" it was basically Mythbusters without the myths. Also baby rabbits are called kittens?
Unfortunately having high level security clearance in most government departments is quite boring. You'd probably have to be in the MOD to get anything good.
👟 Big ups to Vessi for keeping my feet dry! Check out vessi.com/blaze for 15% off your first order! Free shipping to CA, US, AUS, NZ, JP, TW, KR, SGP.
i disagree that showing your 2 yr worn shoes was in any way counter productive. it shows: you wear them, you LIKE them, and they WORK..... a milion times better than some dry or tongue in cheek "yes, im reciting this script for some random product coz theyre paying me" spiel that the 99.9% of other channels do.. got my attention anyway. im checking Vessis site now
The saddest thing about Vessi is they still don't ship to EU!
I think you going bananas about how much you love your Vessi's is kind of the best ad read you could do, Simon. It sold me on mine, after all.
@theAessaya I I know! I tried to get a pair last month and was gutted.
If Vessi had steel toe shoes I would consider it. I mainly wear those, so it has no point for me.
My application letter for my current job came down to, "I have no particular passion for this work, but I need money, so it's in both of our interests if I do the job well." Then at the interview (or maybe it was even in the letter itself) I also said I have a strict nine-to-five mentality because I have better stuff to do than working. They said, "That sounds entirely reasonable and it's good to hear you have a rich life outside of work," and I've been working there for nearly nine years now. Great place.
Sounds wise you had no expectations...
I beg you to name this mythical beast, an employer with reasonable interview practices
That’s awesome dude. Lol. That really made me laugh.
I'm curious about what field of work this is, like if it's banking or some other desk job where you just file reports and such, that makes sense, though if it's something technical like engineering or being a doctor or something, I'd be a bit concerned, but it's still reasonable
@@dont-worry-about-it- Programming mostly. I like seeing things work and tinkering with stuff, but maintainability isn't exactly high on my list of priorities. I really do like the company I work for, though, and my 'just make it work' mindset is actually useful when a customer has an issue, so I'm more third line support and devops than developer now.
@2:00 the fact that Simon admits he pays potential writers for their SAMPLES just proves, yet again, he is a GOD. DAMN. PROFESSIONAL. Isn't that right Kevin!!!
Until he invites you over for tea and you wake, chained up in the basement...AM I RIGHT PETER!!!
@@kenrudd641 I SHOULD BE SO LUCKY!!!
I'm sure it pays better than being locked in my Travel Trailer.
I wonder how he'd feel about my 4 cats.
@TimeSurfer206 at least they're not dogs.
I am HERE for this chain of comments...
As a writer who has spent countless days researching and writing what I hope is the perfect sample only for most to get rejected or the gig not paying well enough anyway, the idea of getting paid for all of that time and energy sounds like a fantasy. Then again, he saves money later by making them grow their own mushrooms in the basement. Small investment, big returns.
Simon's hiring method sounds like a dream. I hate interviewing, from either side of the process.
Plus Simon asking questions like "how do you feel about enclosed spaces " and "how long can you go without food and water" would make people suspicious
Ha! "Do you enjoy homemade mushroom soup?"
I never had to interview for my job because I work at the gym I do gymnastics at so my boss already knew me as an athlete for 4 years before I got hired
HR in Whistler verse is the back of Simon's hand
@@Anal_Annihilator at first this just put an image of Simon with a mouth and eyes drawn on his hand acting as the HR manager
Me: legally blind with a PhD, Masters, BA(Hons)... unemployed and nothing but rejections for the last six months. Going to have to listen to this again as I'm too annoyed to focus. Dave, keep rocking it. Simon, thank you.
Could you teach?
Wishing you all the best!
@Trikucian unfortunately I've got a couple other disabilities, which rules teaching out.
@@marlieshilgersom3569 thank you.
With a Phd, and as many channels as Simon has, it sounds entirely possible that you could potentially write scripts for at least one of Simon's channels, depending on what your Phd is in.
Alternatively, now that I think about it, if he doesn't have a channel that would make sense for you to write for, you could also suggest a new channel.
When i worked for the department of homeland security they were extremely paranoid about USB based security breaches. You were NEVER allowed to plug any type of USB device into any piece of DHS hardware, regardless of the context or circumstances, without explicit permission to do so. You weren't even allowed to use a USB mouse that wasn't specifically provided to you by the department.
Why would you even order computers with USB inputs if you're paranoid about USB attacks?
All the new sex toys are USB rechargeable. How do those poor bastards at the dept of Homeland Security manage to get anything done?
Yes that's the same as ANY federal government job, especially military. Some computers will shut down and lock if they detect a non-approved device
if you worked for Homeland Security tell me who you report domestic terrorism to please? I really need to know considering all devices I have access to I'd have to break the law to contact anyone to get assistance and report what is happening in this town and I'm not about to break a law. They jam my signal and reroute my calls to local paid for hire corrupt cops. It's insanity. I wouldn't shut my mouth about the youth murders so then they started attempting to murder me. They won't allow me to leave. Nah they would rather silence me.
This sounds entirely reasonable even for corporate environment. In fact I am surprised it was even possible to get permission.
I love Simon, he literally is the definition of a "suburbanite", he said I waded through a "river" and I look up, it's just a 2"inch or 5cm stream and I start crying 😂!
You cried about that?
Yeah, he said it like he was stepping into a raging river, but it's a creek, that only has water running in it because it probably just rained, how's that not funny! I live by actual rivers, so I find it funny!@@wingerding
The best job interview I ever had was for a machine shop. I walked in, and they handed me a print and pointed at a machine and said, "Make this." So I made the part and have been working there for 10 years, and the interview process is still the same.
My father was a machinist for about a decade. Apparently, his process was about the same lol
Where is said interview spot 🧐 😅
I worked as security in a kids' hospital in the early 2000s. We had cameras that could track faces throughout the hospital from camera to camera.
We installed emergency 911 tracking in cell sites back in the early 2000s. All smart phones are tracked to within 30 feet. Drives me CRAZY when people and Dispatch waste time arguing about locations you can see within 30 feet on the damn screen.
We'd be able to track cell phones within 30 centimeters across the United States if the United Stated gave af about it. Instead its just more tech and rent to be paid for the parts. - 30 feet is enough in most cases anyway.
We had cameras in our ambulances that recorded every square inch of the patient bay. In the er and Maternity/l&d and peds are some of the highest levels of security in the building. It take a passcode, a keycard, and a fingerprint just to enter l&d
@@Loralanthalasthe hoops law enforcement has to jump through to get warrents for a missing persons cell phone are appalling. We have had several younger autistic people get lost for days at a time because the phone companies want warrents to release the files. I get right to privacy, but why pretend the government does when a life is in danger.
In a job working on computers/ copiers/ printers/ software I sometimes worked at the security office (not for it) in an inner city hospital, my city's most profitable one, and they had NONE of that. In fact most of their screens had burnout spots on them. They contracted security out to another company. The highest security area was in the blood bank, specifically in a locked room within that contained a device that irradiated blood samples for the BMT program, a device I once got to take apart. Had a Cs-137 sample in it. You needed to scan your eye to get in there, everywhere else, badges. Labor and Delivery was more secure than other areas with tracking on the babies which was accurate to within inches and would trigger alarms if outside certain areas. You had to be careful not to hit the elevator when they were rolled by or it would set off the alarm. But face tracking would be straight up science fiction to the facility I worked at and probably 99% of them in the US.
@@LoralanthalasNah buddy. Cell Phone Location Data is notoriously Iffy. When I log into my College Student Account, it gives me a Security Prompt and two factor kicks in...asking me to authorize use from "such and such location". That data is usually off by an hour and a half drive distance. When you track Phones, it mostly tracks to the nearest Cell Tower or even a nearby Hub.
I imagine Simon's diet consisting solely of black coffee, c*caine, and those little chocolate covered espresso beans.
🎶 "these are a few of my favourite things" 🎶 😆
Because the platform is privately owned, we can’t claim the same freedoms that we would on a soap-box in the town square, but just like you: I’ve become habituated to blurring certain words. It’s not very “freedom-forward…”
Sounds like my typical diet as well. Nice 😎
Jackass and
you have never done coke.
Yeah, Top Secret clearance just means you’re cleared to be in and hear certain sensitive information. I had a TS clearance, and I didn’t even get to learn one cool secret.
Or if you do learn something cool and secret, it's on the news a week later.
Well, that's just what you'd like us to think
My late father had, for a few years in the 60s, one of the highest clearances in the US military, Top Secret/Secure Compartmented Information--Cryptological (TS/SCI-CRYPTO), due to his job at a now-closed Army listening post in Berlin. He said that in general, the higher the classification, the more boring the material was. All the really interesting stuff was Secret or lower (including FOUO and Reasonable Care), and the one time he got to see something that actually did have an SCI-CRYPTO tag on it, it was simply a page full of five-digit number groups that were completely meaningless to anyone who didn't have the key to decode them. (No, he did not have that key, and no, he never found out what any of it meant, he was basically just asked to compare the transcription to the audio recording they were transcribed from for accuracy.)
Or, as Tom Clancy once put it, the daily TS briefs that are distributed to certain high muckety-mucks in the intelligence community tend to not include anything you couldn't learn by reading Time Magazine a week later, but written more poorly and with more typos.
I actively avoid TS information. I can't justify my own need to know. 😂
Edit: Hell, there's Secret information I wish I could forget.
@@TheStonedbananaWhat is the secret information?
I'm pretty sure I've heard Simon tell the story about how he realized that "Lengthy" does not have a second "L" as in "Lengthly" at least 10 times, and yet... he still says "LengthLy" all the time. I can't unhear it now. 8:28, Thanks Simon.
Jesus yes, I knew I'd heard him mention it before but he still hasn't adjusted it, and now that he's brought it up it's so distracting every time 😂
I've also heard him and other English and Australian people not pronounce the middle r in arbitrary. I guess maybe it's the standard pronunciation there, but it makes me wonder what happened to the r? Do they spell it without the r? Arbitary... My spell checker certainly doesn't like that.
@@chitlitlah It's a spoken dialect thing. Much like how the Cockney accent doesn't say the R's in Governor (Govna).
@@chitlitlahI'm English and I can say with absolute certainty that it is most definitely NOT the standard pronunciation here. I've found that it's mostly the younger generation who seem to have difficulty when it comes to spelling and pronunciation.
Ssshh! It’s a secret! He doesn’t read the comments or he’d know it’s being slipped into scripts… lol
Australians controlling lightning sounds like a Monty Python sketch.
Some people call me “Tim”.
It's to keep the rabbits out.
Americans controlling lightning sounds like a Quentin Tarantino horror shlock sketch.
They power it with sheep in trees xD
@@mrmadunit3923 I'D DIG IT THE MOST, BABY!
An interview is a way of filtering out the people who lie on their CV, the better way is get them to prove they can do the job... Simon's "Interview" process suddenly looks perfect
What is a CV? The only CV that strike my mind is a CV ort CVN carrier in the navy and that makes zero sense.
@krisspkriss a CV is the same thing as a resume
@@krisspkriss it's short of curriculum vitae, latin meaning "course of life"
@@captainspaulding5963 Yes, I figured as much, but what does it standfor? Are you allergic the the actual words? Would have ben quicker and more efficient to just say the two words...
@krisspkriss are you allergic to using Google instead of waiting for Random Internet Person #5422456789532 to answer questions for you?
Also, in your original post, you asked what a CV was..... not what it meant.... maybe next time, actually say what you mean instead of expecting people to read your mind.
Simon, you literally had a seven minute intro. And 90% of it was tangents.
Keep it up. We love the hard work.
I’m glad I didn’t just imagine that. Not complaining tho
Every employer needs to hire like Simon
I know you're an expert RUclipsr cuz you been doing this for a hundred years, and you have a hundred channels. That legit was one of the best ad reads I've ever seen. And I agree with your mystery person seeing them having been worn is actually a very good selling technique. bravo mate.
Showng that the shoes you wore constantly for two years until there's practically holes in the soles are still fairly good is a great way to show off the shoes. Now I'm actually thinking about getting some. Well until i see the price anyway.
$160ish a pair.
Shoes shouldn't wear out after just two years, it totally shows what horrible quality they are.
If the work is good, the work is good. It's not complicated. That alone makes this my favorite video hosted by Simon. The thoroughly beaten Vessi shoes were the cherry on top.
Great job, team. Dave, wonderful script. I laughed boisterously. Great stuff, keep it coming.
Simon, please fertilize the mushrooms closest to his radiator, and maybe gift him a small jar of Vaseline so he doesn't chafe his ankle so much from the chain. He earned it.
22:15 *FBI rubs hands menacingly while muttering "keep thinking that, Simon"*
Simon is the only person I don't mind listening to as he is reading a script for an Advertisement.
Agree honestly is only one
It also seems like his way of getting sponsors is emailing companies he likes, and not just taking whoever's paying
That "rabbit telepathy" thing reminds me of a method of faster-than-light communication proposed by Terry Pratchett in one of his Discworld novels. The theory was that the only thing faster than the speed of light is the speed of royalty. When a king dies, the next in line to the throne instantly becomes king, no matter how far apart they are, possibly by means of quantum entanglement or some yet undiscovered sub-atomic particle he tentatively named the "Kingon" He proposed conducting experiments involving the modulated killing and resuscitating of kings, and measuring the regalness of their heirs.
Whereas Douglas Adams, in one of the Hitchhiker's Guide novels, proposed that the only thing that travelled faster than light was Bad News, which follows its own unique physical laws. He said that there was an attempt at leveraging this as a propulsion system for starships, but while it worked, the ships using it were never welcome anywhere they went and thus the system never became widely used.
@PrototypeSpaceMonkey Rabbit communicators used in the fabulous fantasy series The Magicians
The only thing faster than the speed of light is the speed of darkness but that's more of a consideration of whether darkness is a constant or not. Also faster is the electric company billing dept...always seems like I get the next billing statement from these assholes as soon as I pay the f-ing last one and occasionally with a f-ing 5-10%(+) rate increase notice.
Then one thing that is truly faster than light is thought.
Terry Pratchett is my ABSOLUTE favorite writer, it's so great to see his name as I was scrolling by reading the comments.
a new player has entered the Simon universe: Wendy from trello! maybe she runs logistics for the basement
Honestly, Showing me those worn down shoes sold me on them. I am ordering a pair. Also good video lol.
Right? Evidence of good use is better than just showing a brand new product
Sending a portfolio is equivalent to a resume. Writing a sample to be reviewed is actually more valuable than a conventional interview because it allows you not only to see the person’s abilities prior to hiring them but you learn something of their personality as well. You conducted an interview through your conversations with them, and the requests you made, albeit unconventional.
Completely random aside, but thank you so much for paying people for the sample/example you request for deciding if their work fits the vibe of the channel. There are so many jobs I’ve prepared to apply for and end up backing out because they want extensive free labor through presentations and written samples, and that is often freehand for “we are mostly doing this for free material and ideas from outside perspectives.” It is one of the red flags that I outright say no to (next to “in this company we treat each other like family” in a large corporate structure and anything that just smells like MLM bullshit that’s been covered in glitter to get you to apply) so I’m glad that people like you take an alternate route that gives you the relevant information to decide to move forward with, but without the expectation of free labor.
“Or a civilian building full of children” I couldn’t help but laugh at that statement because it’s terrifyingly accurate.
I was waiting for this comment😅😭
Everyone makes mistakes, right?
I mean, do we really think a country can make lazer guided bombs hit the target with in an inch, when they cant build a maschine that can count voting Papers correct?
Where I work the favourite reason that someone gets the promotion is “they done the best interview !”
That means that someone who has next to no experience in the position gets the job over someone who has been covering that position for years when due to sickness, holidays etc etc.
nothing to do with favouritism, family or other illegal reasons.
2:55 - Mid roll ads
5:20 - Back to the video
7:10 - Chapter 1 - The NSA ant catalog
14:00 - Chapter 2 - Weaponized lightning
17:35 - Chapter 3 - Planned invasion of cuba
19:30 - Chapter 4 - Soviet researchers allegedly used rabbits to telepathically communicate with submarines
21:55 - Chapter 5 - FBI file on bigfoot
Do you also go out of your way to spoil movies and TV shows too, or do you just spoil RUclips videos?
@@cleverusername9369lol
😊
I mean when there's 7mins of nonsensical rambling from Simon before the first subject I'd say this is what heros do. @@cleverusername9369
I recently turned 45 and you are making me feel old... Stop that... Rofl😂
That talk about how many cameras are in Simon's office reminds me of my favorite terrifying cybersecurity fact. You know those little indicator lights on webcams? I always assumed they were wired up in a way where the camera physically cannot function without also turning that light on but it turns out that that's actually pretty rare.
To be fair, often the light is controlled by the camera chip's firmware, so regular hackers aren't going to be able to turn it off.
I have 2 cameras in my house and there's an option in the camera's settings where I can choose to either leave the light on or turn it off. Whichever option I pick doesn't affect the camera's ability to function whatever.
@@chloewright1 My point is that many cameras don't have that option, or the option is only available by actually installing the vendor's software. There's no universal "Light off" setting in Windows.
So, a hacker/viruse may be able to subvert common cameras, but you need to accumulate a database of different cameras. Which either involves crowd sourcing, large amounts of manual work against individual targets, or a lots of money to buy cameras.
Dude! I would write for Simon in a hot minute!
see if you can send him your porfolio, write a sample brain blaze :P
Its gonna be a hot minute means its gonna take a while in the south.
Love how nearly 8 mins of this video is utter gibberish , hilarious , Simon you could literally talk about anything and it would be funny !
The history of toothpaste could make me howl laughing .
The best add placement ever !😂😂😂😂
dammit, now I want a history of toothpaste episode
It is always nice when Cocaine Boy uploads.
Sam, you will always be the master editor. I aspire to your skills and wisdom. ❤🤘
You aren't far behind Lorelai, you've achieved Blazement legendary status very quickly 👌
I’m a huge fan of both resident memeologists!
@@williebauld1007 Very true. And I thank you all for conferring that status upon me!
@@terryenby2304 Aw, and we love you too!
I was watching and noticing there wasn't any metal memery going on, so I knew it wasn't your work 😂
You don't need Drones and a Wire to weaponize lightning.
A Laser can be used to create a path of ionized gas to the target
and an Electric Bolt would be likely to use the Ionized Path.
6 minutes in and all I've learned is how much Simon hates job interviews 😂 same Simon, same.
I have to scroll back all the time, as I am reading and listening..
Simons hustle is unmatched in YT...
Like no joke
1. Find Dave.
2. Interview Dave.
3. Realize living in Simmons basement is not worth being a writer.
4. Cave in to the coveted position of writer and replace Dave.
5. Live the dream.
6. Buy a pair of VESSI
100. (Only actually going to do step 6. Told my wife I'm ordering 2 pairs of shoes because they seem legit and worth it, because Simon actually really wears several pairs. And doubt I'm a quality writer worth any note so won't risk any of Fact Boys channels, from his basement or anywhere else). Thanks for the videos. (Also I love editing, but your videos need no additional assistances).
Simon: *forgets then remembers how old he actually is* "Feeling young."
Simon is showing off his durable his Vessi shoes are. I'm waiting until he goes off the deep end and shows us how durable his Sheath underwear is
Omg this! 😂😂😂
That split second Simon pulls the hood up on the Vessi jacket.... Definitely looks like someone he'd do a piece on for CC....
I wish the hiring process was Simon's way. So many good interviewees who aren't actually good at my job...
I think almost everyone agrees that interviews are pointless BS these days. So why the hell can't we ditch all that nonsense?! And don't get me started on cover letters and resumes...
Simon " And start my own religion" ... Sir, you already have, OGBB. 😅😂
Having clearance isn't enough for most classified materials, one must also have a "need to know" justification to view certain materials.
Thanks!
Memes are on point Sam, nice work!
14:35
As an American, I appreciate that viewpoint. I will add to it. There is generally a positive goal/reason. The boots on the ground and other military personnel are doing it to achieve a positive outcome. The upper level of the military, government officials, and military suppliers generally also have their own secret personal goals(to gain money and power). The actions of those few are definitely wrong. However, that doesn't nullify the noble reason everyone else is fighting for.
God, this was like when you find a recipe online and you have to sift through pages of the blogger's life story 😅
I'm a business owner who's done interviews, and that's despite the fact I lost out on many jobs that I was qualified for because I choke in inteviews and also think interviews are pointless and dumb. I haven't done away completely with interviews, but I agree that for a lot of jobs they're completely pointless. I recall getting hired for a fastfood job, I showed up for "the interview" and there were a bunch of people there, and there was no interviewing it was actually an orientation. "You're all hired, and here's the rules..." I do feel interviews are important for front desk positions, sales, and high end customer service jobs. However, those are jobs that are going the way of the dodo.
Finally able to get a pair of #vessi shoes! And made sure to give credit to the Legend Simon Whistler lol. I know women aren't the largest demographic of viewers, but for those out there, the Women's Weekend Chelsea - Asphalt Black on Black is muah! chefs kiss cute! I'll let yall know how they go :)
😅😅 14:38 ummm ill take a lightening strike.... They have been known to sort out medical shit in ppl that survive it and my physical therapist did say nothing short of surviving another two story fall or lightening could put me back together again 😅😅😅 ill take my chances with lightening over 15 back surgeries any day. 😊
All hail Wendy on Trello! Truly, the secret to victory!
7:03 similar feels when we got ereaders and you pull up the bible because now you can get directly to the devil..... A long list of names and failed searches later and well at least we have paradise lost 😅
You’ve got to be slaying it with video like this.
17:50 or you could do it like doc in back to the Future get that DeLorean that you like and prove that time travel really exists 🔥🔥💯
Simon is 1 Vessi sponsorship away from getting a tattoo of their logo
Allegedly
15:49 you could pinpoint lightning if you ran a particle bean through the charged cloud towards your target to conduct the bolt - in neutral air, it's Blind Man Buff.
If course the mother rabbit's brainwaves spiked when her kids were killed! LOL!
Fun fact: There is a big foot museum in Boring, Oregon. It's near Portland and about 90 miles from The Dalles (Dalles is pronounced with the hardish "a" sound in Amhurst). If you're ever in The Dalles, Spooky's Pizza is the place to eat. Not affiliated with the museum or Spooky's.
Got confused for a moment. Thought RUclips automatically went to next video and started playing Dany Gonzalez videos
Dude, how many channels do you have!? How has your voice not gone off the edge! Massive respect for the work ethic my brother!
Simon, I’m surprised at you. We got through the whole Lightning entry, and even the part about using it for religion, without a Stargate reference? There was an entire episode of a planet where they did just that! (The “Middle English” village, where they first heard of Sokar. The leader had a ring that summoned it)
Wow I forgot about that episode. You are a greater nerd then me. My glasses off to you ma'am.
Lightning would be a psychological weapon. Think about it. Super seed clouds to cause a storm and then float the drone over the target and 30 strikes in the same area happens. Dudes be like “wtf haints be here run away!!!”
We definitely want more. Give us like an hour long video.
I worked at a certain USAF base in the UK in 2002 doing electrical work as a contractor. They had provisions in place to stop people listening into telephone calls through the power cables that came into the building! The power cables didn’t even connect to the telephones but apparently the US had the tech to be able to do this so had to assume other unfriendly nations had the same, that was nearly 23 years ago so god knows what tech we don’t know about now.
They have this since Nikolas Tesla, he invented power moving without cable. We wouldn't need all those cables, but hell who would make a fortune... the wrong guy.😂
I find job interviews quite fun 😅 I have so far never had an interview and not been offered the job. I make sure they do’nt forget me. Once I was asked what my weakness was and I said ”well, coming to think of it I do have a weakness for chocholate”. The laughter they bursted out in was amazing and I was hired on the spot. Guess they’ve had a lot of bland interviews alla day 😂😂😂
My son applied for a job he was in no way qualified for. When the boss said "You're very young & have no experience in this field, why should I hire you?"
My son said, "That's exactly why you should. You can train me exactly how you want. I won't already have bad habits & you can shape me into your perfect employee!" He got the job & his boss LOVED him. 😊
That’s a great line. Thanks for sharing!
@@tatchik77 your son sounds like a smart guy! Good for him he first got the job and then proved he deserved it 💪🏼
i love the memes and clips that go into these lmfao. like the aliens at around 7 mins, so silly
Did anyone inform Simon that henry kissinger died?
Also, Simon went to Iceland, now Iceland's volcano is erupting. Coincidence? Conspiracy? I think not.
Whoa!, wait, what??, Kissinger is dead?
These videos are pre recorded, sometimes months in advance
This was recorded about 2 months ago, so he was probably still alive then.
Hmmm... that does sound a bit sus...
Just the info that Kissinger died wouldn't tell anything to a person who thinks that the US are the good guys and doesn't know much about their (international) record.
@@tubensalat1453 what you just said proves that one of two thi has OR two of two.
A. You're new to the channel
B. You're a troll
If it's A, welcome, start from the beginning and catch up. If B, we kindly ask that you stay out of these comments.
23:00 The Dalles, Oregon is pronounced like “dolls” but with a short a. :)
At this point Simon is probably a deep fake.
lol he even admits to applying!😅😂
For the life of me I can't remember which astronaut but I remember reading about one of the Apollo astronauts stating he was given a card with various numbers or phrases that he was to mentally read off and concentrate on at a specific time during the mission. It was speculated that this was an assignment by the CIA, testing if there was any validity to telepathy. I remember thinking this had to be a joke but apparently not.
Those edits were hilarious! xD The section at 20:40 was my favorite.
Dave is down with Porton Down.
8:49 Close, except it's not adding a 2nd wireless network to an already wireless network. It's adding a wireless backdoor into a wired-ONLY network.
The reason they investigated Psi powers .. was not because they believed it was real, but the consequences of it being even slightly real were so useful ignoring it completely was not worth the risk ... The reason it remained classified was partly due to embarrassment
what are psi powers???
@@Little_dick_Prick
Google is your friend
@@Little_dick_Prick You got a UFO handle and don't know what psi powers are? They're stuff you "do with your mental powers" as telekinesis, telepathy...
Oh did you find this out when you worked for the CIA/DIA or maybe the Monroe institute?
I live by Porton Down. The stuff that goes on in there is so weird.😂
Look if the Australians can weaponize lightning. They're going to start weaponizing their environment.
Sam's meme cut in gags get me good. Great job dave and sam. And of course Simon
6:23 me subscribing to additional Simon channels I find every now and then
Love it!
Employer: Where do you see yourself in five years? Me: Hopefully, sitting at home and nursing a work-related injury
First comment
4:28.
Simon day to day- vessi
Simon in bed- vessi
Simon in the tub- vessi
Simon in the huge as River- vessi
Simon in the snow- vessi.
Simon in the bouncy house with his kids where they make ya take off ur shoes- vessi.
Simon in cold storage waiting for his forever life- vessi.
Simon waking up 200 years later in post apocalyptic conditions- thank goodness for vessi.
I held a top secret clearance in the military… you would be surprised how limited the scope of what we can look up is. Most top secret clearances mean “we’ve decided we can tell you information mission specific that others may not be privileged to know. When we want to tell you something we will and you’ll shut your mouth.” The information goes down and you honestly wouldn’t know how to access top secret servers or what account I’m sure it’s not an App Store app. When I went to classification office for them upping my clearance from secret to top at the end the older lady said “your all set hun” and I replied “so now I can find out who killed Kennedy? Find out if area51 is real? And if aliens exist?” She just face palmed and said “there’s 1 in every group”.
20:41-20:53 That editing made me laugh HARD!
"Somebody who is willing to euthanize baby rabbits" (cuts back to Simon)
The thing you are forgetting Simon, is plausible deniability. "The damn lightning bolt didn't hit where we aimed it", has much more value than a laser guided missile that always hits "on target".
💯
Simon my boy I’m one of your listeners from the states. Across most if not all of your channels. And I thought you should know bro… we do care 😁 I enjoy the banter between you and your writers
11:00 IKR...I in the late 1990's learned about a device made that (just using a laser) they could record a conversation from nearly any surface. The laser measured the vibrations on for example a: window and could reproduce the sounds....thats when I knew things were going nuts. They are so far beyond that now.
The best "job interview" answers were David Rose's answers from Schitt's Creek.
"Why do u want this job?" David's answer #1. "I don't want this job." When asked again, Answer #2. "I ran out of eye cream." Me too David, me too.😂
This is the most laid back video I’ve ever seen Simon in.
Lol I was thinking the same.
Back in the late 90’s I had a commuting buddy on Bart in the SF Bay Area. He worked with cameras. Back then, he said the tunnel cameras were high speed facial recognition cameras. Specifically this was 1998.
20:49 I normally listen to these while doing other stuff, but I looked at the screen when this popped up as an example of a submarine, just another reason I love this channel
20:57 in America we had a show that sounds like what you're thinking of called "What Could Possibly Go Wrong?" it was basically Mythbusters without the myths. Also baby rabbits are called kittens?
Simon saying he doesnt do interviews while simultaneously describing in detail his exact interview process 😂😂😂
No matter what I watch before RUclips algorithm be like: Simon next?
Unfortunately having high level security clearance in most government departments is quite boring. You'd probably have to be in the MOD to get anything good.
(something) of Defense?
Ministry...... you are actively on the internet, Google is your friend
1:30 - I'm going to fill an alien shaped mould with offal, bone and other fleshy things and wrap it in a parachute and try this
Didn't expect to see Danny Gonzalez in a Brain Blaze video.