I don't keep secrets well, I'm a horrible liar, and to me secrets being kept is a form of lying 🤥...but I suppose one secret is I pour coffee creamer in my mouth cuz I like the texture and taste, and I drink heavy whipping cream straight from the carton again I like the texture and taste. Idk what kind of stuff I used as a girl scout to make the sweetest butter ever, well next to Grandy's and Texas roadhouse with the cinnamon butter 😋...anyways...as a kid I would take bites out of butter sticks cuz I liked the texture and taste...I would mix spoonfuls of butter, sugar and rice crispies and eat it straight from the bowl...that's about the only secrets I keep to myself....kinda like that show...my strange addiction....
I am Aroace and I can't tell anybody because I know they won't understand, my parents already have my life planned out so I think I just have to deal with it. And I go to a religious school so I can't talk to my teachers about it, I have so many questions but I don't know who to ask. That's one of my secrets lol
I have many secrets that I keep. They do not make me feel shame, they are part of honor, and make me feel good about myself. These secrets will go to my grave and no one will know them. Trust is key!
Instead of saying open up to people please say open up to the right people. Trauma bonding or opening up to people that will use that against you will only hurt you in the long run. Set boundaries with people and (sigh) vet them first. Dont just open up to any person
He did reference choosing our confidants carefully to have the benefits of sharing a secret. So he didn't say it so explicitly, but did allude to this.
Amen 🌿 I'm living hell right now. I'm from a small town, my husband during our divorce told people I have PTSD . He let people know when I received my divorce settlement . Local meth /fent druggies started casing me , stealing, men started coming to my home asking if I needed yard work. I live in the country police are not available here....I live on trust land. B.IA. jurisdiction . My x Father- in law is local attorney the court house here is the good ole buddy system. My home has been Broken into eight times .
Welll living a lie my whole life and keeping a big gigantic secret for my whole life has not only cost me severe harm mentally and physically but it has ate me up! My whole life I was hiding that I was transgender and I didn’t want to deal with it because I was terrified of being vulnerable with myself and being vulnerable with everyone else around me. But it has severely harmed me keeping that secret inside. It really is a shame that people like me feel like we have to keep everything a secret
I understand your feelings although I am not part of your group and parties. As you have reveal the” sercet” which is not accept from the society. Both way is harming you as you reveal it and keeping it in mind as the rumination thinking. After I have read about the psychology from Adler, you don’t need to reveal it as to avoid the shameless, instead. You don’t reveal because as we are a human being as a unique individual, we don’t need to have the recognition from others but yourself instead. For me though, revealing a secret and hiding a sercet is both painful. The best way is to accept yourself, trusting people( as there will not thinking you are weirdo), taking apart in a role in the society. By focusing yourself into a work/hobbies / and learning. You will less weighting the value of the secret in your life that you blaming for. Meanwhile, there will be more shining spot that you will be discover from others. It’s okay that we’ve some trauma or sad history in the past. We all does, but don’t let it override you life. The choice that you make is intentionally to make yourself better, although is not accept by society, but there will not life partners that will support you and understand your feelings. You choice is not a regretful decision, it is just a fact and neutral event that happen in our life. Please don’t connect your negative emotion choice on this decision. I genuinely support you decision as it making yourself to a better position and make yourself as the ideal self. Be brave and don’t need shame. Good luck🙏
Quick summary. There's a difference between secrecy and privacy. Secrecy is when you withhold information because you are afraid of consequences(Here, I am talking about toxic secrets, not the good ones). Privacy is when you withhold information because you don't want to or you are not comfortable to share it with anyone. There are good secrets too like surpise birthday party, marriage proposal, etc. Here, the intent is to make other person happy. You are not afraid of it. A secret is bad when it's affecting your health and you are ruminating about it often and that too in a negative way. The possible way to deal with this is find a person you can confide in and who, you think, will give you the helpful response you need. However, it's easier said than done.
They both lead up the same, sharing private information may lead to consequences in the long. You could be wary of sharing private matters without intent, end up used against you. Hence, consequence. I suppose it's really about intent, not consequence.
"Three may keep a secret if two of them are dead." Ben Franklin, 1735 I trained in the Army as an intelligence analyst/interpreter. It was repeatedly drummed into our heads-"No Need To Know !"
0:36 - I think shame can be a powerful force for positive change, too. I've come to value and appreciate my shame for motivating me to be a better person.
Dont disagree, however if the shame is induced not by one s perception and based on external perceptions of a behavior then one has a large chance of creating distortions with regard to self perception, leading to confusion and difficulty with regards to figuring out what fits and what does not. I beleive there is ample evidence put forth by professional in the field of questions that using shame as a motivator is not the greatest idea with regards to mental health. However in no way am i suggesting that you are wrong for you just that assuming what works for u will work for others when professionals seem to contradict your idea would not be wise. Just an opinion of mine though. Take care
Withholding information is a lie not a form of lying! People can make wrong decisions ( life changing) based on upon a person withholding valuable information!
I'm sure you mean well but have you any concept of the variety of experiences people have had to manage in life, most often by themselves. Just get over it attitude really doesn't help. It fuels the whole living in a delusion of respectability
It hurts the more i keep secrets, it hurts to hold secrets for others, It hurts that i have to keep my mouth shut about a lot of things. My shoulders will never get lowered cause i cant ever feel like i can share mine with anyone, but I make others feel safe enough for them to tell their secrets to me.😢
I think secret is something is we don't want to reveal to public because we think it is a shame. Such as I was bullied severely in high school, was in a psychiatric hospital for 2 months due to the trauma, and was a virgin until the late 20s. Turned out that it is nothing to worry about revealing these facts. We are not perfect, and nothing to be scared about revealing our vulnerability.
Very interesting concept! The choice has been revealed from my experiences. I have learned there is time and space for disclosure! Some people deserve my time and attention because they display a balanced relationship with genuine kindness, reciprocal skills, and understanding the difference between words and actions. Other people move in a ways that don't suit my preferences, like high contrast orchestrations, a scarcity mindset, validation seeking, and rigidity. The choice is abundantly clear.
Maybe I'm just emotionally stronger to handle it. Keep everything a secret eventually someone will question you and try to force the answer out of you by coersive means.
When everyone around you is homophobic and you are taught that being lgbt means you'll go to hell. You keep that secret like your life and after life depends on it. Being older now I realise that the prejudice and theistic claims are both utter nonsense. But the secret that has protected you for so long is difficult to let go of.
I was on an all girls multi day mountain bike trip in a remote canyon in Utah. We ran into one other group during our time in the canyon - a group of guys - and we partied with them one night. The next morning when a few of us were up, one woman said her tent mate didn't sleep in the tent and was asking if any of us knew where she was. We did, because we saw her flirting with one guy in particular. No big deal, right? Except she was MARRIED. She is a former best friend of mine and I know other unsavory things about her. I ended up not hanging out with her anymore because she did a crazy thing that caused an issue between me and my daughter. And this woman is very highly thought of in the community, lol. After I decided to walk away from the relationship, I was so happy to relieve the weight of her secrets from my shoulders. Not in a gossipy way, just telling my husband, daughters, and a good friend. It's not fair to expect people to keep your crappy secrets, but if you do, you better be nice to them *forever*!
Consider the following: a. I am a human as defined by humans. b. I am an energy based quarkelectronian as modern science claims that all matter is made up of quarks, electrons and interacting energy and I am made up of matter and interacting energy. c. I am a being of 'light', 'if' my current theory of everything is correct whereby the 'gem' photon is the energy unit of this universe that makes up everything in this universe, including space, time and numbers. (Currently dependent upon the results of my gravity test). d. "I" do not even actually exist but eternally existent space time exists as "me", currently in the forms as above. * I exist and yet "I" simultaneously do not exist, dependent upon perspective. But yet, do "I" not truly exist in absolute truth reality as only eternally existent space time exists as all things in absolute truth reality? * "I" can mentally change between perspectives thereby experiencing existence from those various perspectives. "My" mind continues to expand, but is it truly 'my' mind that is expanding or is it eternally existent space time's mind that is expanding? In absolute truth reality, it would seem to be the later.
When you are capable of love - the ability to keep secrets becomes a source of honour and pride; because you have been entrusted with the self-destruct key to something that you don't want destroyed. Ergo: politics is the process that has the least use for love.
My world crashed in 2014. Career phased out and body got worse. It is an extreme rarity that I see or talk to anyone off the computer. Nothing to really do with secrets. Already canceled the holidays. At least, I have the memories.
The power of me knowing everyones Secrets and we all share secrets together and none of you know what secrets ajajajaj I LOVE IT ,, MARCIANO WE HAVE SOME UNFINISHED BUSINESS BOY LOL XXX
We will see, I go back to college within the year and will be running into generation Z and up. I will try to find a right one and open my heart again.
I disagree... keeping a secret in this extremely sharing-your-life-on-social-media society may be one of the sanest things you can do. Trust and intimacy are build overtime and with common experiences that tell you who the people around you are. If we live in a society full of secrets and if so many people said they were keeping one, it only tells us how rotten society is, how we cannot build real connection and trust with the people around us to tell our secrets.
This is an absolutely WONDERFUL piece. Extremely insightful! Prof Slepian, you are amazing! I would love to learn more about how you conceived your 3-D map and how you linked the dots. Rurik
Same, spill your secret to me, I'm not involved on your personal life so I will not affect your life, spilling your secrets to me will help lift weight of your shoulders
Secrets are a byproduct of a natural real-world ecology that rewards one set of behaviors with pleasure and a social construct that rewards and punishes another set of behavior. This schizophrenia between our cult and our ecology rewards people for doing the things that bring them pleasure and then hiding those things so they won't be punished by the cult. The cost of this is individual schizophrenia, or a gap between behavior that is seen by many people and behavior that is done privately. There is a cost to holding a secret, a cost to the schizophrenia of maintaining two images and transitioning between them and a cost of always following personal instincts and beliefs and a cost for always complying with the cult dogmas around us to avoid being caught. The deeper question is how to avoid the cult schizophrenia in the first place? I think that a mixture of directions remove secrets: 1) Increase emphasis on the science of well-being: what behavior leaves us and our group better off sustainably. 2) A commitment to meet every person's basic human needs sustainably: to ensure that every person has a safe place to sleep, a healthy meal or more a day and the security of community support, while having the option of good friends. 3) Ongoing innovation in technology to create super-abundance of low cost energy, food, information and education. 4) Fewer laws about human behavior and more transparency about human behavior. 5) More study and emphasis on best-practices based on data: the best way to get things done and why. 6) More quality time with fewer people: Most lies are a by-product of inadequate time, inadequate attention to seeing each other clearly, and insensitivity due to a lack of empathy and understanding. 7) Creating more independent access to our needs leads to freedom and less abuse of power. In a scarcity environment it is normal for those in power to manipulate for more resources than the rest of the group. This manipulation is less effective the more the balance of power is equal.
I swear to God I'm not keeping any secrets. Of course, it could be that I've forgotten the secrets that I am keeping, but they weren't that important anyway. I mean it is true that I don't tell my mom that I like to swear like a sailor in conversation or that I'm an atheist. But I don't consider them secrets. That's none of their business.
Open up to the right person some people will create problems for you i had a person i know have a secret against me opened up to the wrong people and the person messed up my life now i am a walking target to everyone and i have done nothing wrong to anyone everyone wants to have a problem with me because of a stupid secret that is not worth it and the person should have just kept their mouth shut
My mother told me at a young age my brother is not my fathers son… 5 years ago I told her to let my brother know, she didn’t have the courage, I had to do it my self since it was such a heavy weight for me growing up.. such a baggage I had to carry, they told Me not to tell him that every family has secrets.. my relation ship with him was never 100 percent good and I think it was because of that.. never teach a kid to lie
It wasn't fair for your mother to transfer the burden of that secret from her to you. I appreciate you having the courage to speak the truth, and help heal your family.
I have a secret but I don't want to be know for it. I don't want it to take over my life, or my identity. I used to be a prostitute, before I met my partner. I love him & only him. I'm not the same person that I was when that happened. My values have changed. It, in a way made me feel grounded and satisfied with a " typical life" because I don't have any fantasy about cheating or doing wild things because. 1. Sex with a stranger, is only a moment of pleasure and then meh its gone, not worth it. Plus it's not always great and it's usually better in our imagination. Which I'm veryyyy aware of. But here's the thing I'm also aware of, most haven't walked in my shoes & may not be aware of how it feels. Maybe one day I'll say it, but I just don't see a good reason to do so at the moment.
I’d say by sharing here anonymously you are diminishing the internal pressure of holding that secret. Personally, I don’t think you have anything to be ashamed of. Sounds like you learned valuable lessons from that experience and that’s admirable.
@@Kormac80 Yes learnt a lot. Just trying to focus on the present, which has been beneficial. I know I'm on the right track when I imagine time slowing down and me still being okay with what's happening in my life. That's something I wouldn't have said before. So it's like a little life thermometer 🌡️ Wishing you well. 🌸
When I listened to this, it didn't remind me, but it made me think of Julian Assange. He decided to share despicable secrets about those in power to the trustful around them, and what he got in return was that those in power decided to exact revenge on him by attempting to destroy him in every way. This video hardly even touches on that type of situation.
The purpose of science is that it's impartial. If they own anything more than Diogen, or Muammar Quaddafi, they're wrong. You're just an organisation with profit interests.
European science also makes zero sense (as a tool to shift around words and debate God), because Arab science is the highest one of all, they've tried mathematically EVERYTHING, and found God being above all.
What to do when the secret you keep, just cannot be told, for your own safety and security? That's when it becomes difficult. Some secrets, just have to be kept secret it seems.
Learn to fight. Get into mixed martial arts and hit the gym. Learn to shoot if its legal where you are at. Then defend yourself but be firm anyway. People want prey, not someone who can break their arms and feed them into their own woodchipper.
Thanks for this - I hadn't met up with your channel before RUclips just suggested this video. Grateful for the subject matter here, and have enjoyed the way you have delivered it. Best 🙂
I am a very secretive person, learned this as a child as a very effective tool. I don't agree its damaging. I wouldn't have it any other way. If i really trust someone, i may reveal shades of some of this.
Yeah but that’s the issue every time I would reveal secrets I would fight with my parents or partners so I am like fuck it. I mean it makes sense how should you tell your girlfriend to secretly want to get rich and fuck a bunch of gold digging bitches.
When did secrets become a super power? I would hope people realize that if they do share it’s with a person that they’ve had a long relationship with. They’ve built a long trusting relationship and can express themselves because they know they got each other’s backs till death do them apart or their ride or die.
It's interesting that you put it this way. An unjust law can be a form of violence, and the secrets needed to protect against an unjust law are also a form of violence.
I'm not much a people person so I can agree or disagree with too much conviction, but I will say that I don't think that will ALWAYS be the case. You just have to be lucky and find the right people to talk to about your secret.
In a world where access to mental health professionals , anonymous organizations ie AA , etc.. even hotlines i believe there are ways accesible to most in order to share secrets in a safe environment
And then the secret society that manipulates your life sends secret assassins because they know your secret and you know theirs and they're not certain about your Deadman switch so it's a cat-and-mouse game where your both secretly mice and the cat is stray. They can also read your mind and may be training you to do the same.
While I understand the study is focused on secrecy in general, I would like to know more about the impact of burdensome secrets such as state secrets or security reliant upon secrecy.
Given the nature of what you are referencing i doubt if there is much data on people that keep "classified" data. I guess one could make a broad mental health assessment on holders of confidential info without breaching confidentiality however drs and lawyers are privy to much confidential info and at least anecdotally they dont seem to be saying much about the issue
@jackfishthe6th373 Everything unnatural usually has a negative consequence. It's only a secret because of the concept of an enemy (which is fear) or because of hierarchical-power (which is evil control). It's by design; using chaos & confusion, which leads to fear & anxiety, which leads to control. No Man is an island and Our deceptive and false indoctrination around the concept of "enemy race", "enemy states" "enemy countries" is a lie to stop Us All from attaining true freedom & unity, while maintaining control (evil power). The solution is; practicing love and care, which leads to Self-sovereignty & Self-control, which leads to more peace and true freedom.
Here is a little secret for you. Listen to this speech without that inspirational background music and all you will hear will Be nonsenSe. Now that you know it, it is your decision what to do with it. Will you share it, or will you keep it and live the rest of your life with that shame?!
it's not MEANT to, but it's basically their selling point for authors/experts to come on and instead of paying them, they give them exposure. Think Marcelo, think
![BLACK BAG - Official Trailer [HD] - Only in Theaters March 14](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/Du0Xp8WX_7I/mqdefault.jpg)
What's a secret you will only admit in this comment section?
I can neither confirm nor deny that I have any secrets. 👽👽
None!
I don't keep secrets well, I'm a horrible liar, and to me secrets being kept is a form of lying 🤥...but I suppose one secret is I pour coffee creamer in my mouth cuz I like the texture and taste, and I drink heavy whipping cream straight from the carton again I like the texture and taste. Idk what kind of stuff I used as a girl scout to make the sweetest butter ever, well next to Grandy's and Texas roadhouse with the cinnamon butter 😋...anyways...as a kid I would take bites out of butter sticks cuz I liked the texture and taste...I would mix spoonfuls of butter, sugar and rice crispies and eat it straight from the bowl...that's about the only secrets I keep to myself....kinda like that show...my strange addiction....
I am Aroace and I can't tell anybody because I know they won't understand, my parents already have my life planned out so I think I just have to deal with it. And I go to a religious school so I can't talk to my teachers about it, I have so many questions but I don't know who to ask. That's one of my secrets lol
At the time I was watching this video, I was keeping a heavy secret...hence, the lyrics ...
I have many secrets that I keep. They do not make me feel shame, they are part of honor, and make me feel good about myself. These secrets will go to my grave and no one will know them. Trust is key!
May I please at least know, is one or more of the secrets considered “wrong” in societies eyes?
I don't dwell on them, there are just certain things I wouldn't share with anyone, or at all.
Instead of saying open up to people please say open up to the right people. Trauma bonding or opening up to people that will use that against you will only hurt you in the long run. Set boundaries with people and (sigh) vet them first. Dont just open up to any person
👍👍👍
He did reference choosing our confidants carefully to have the benefits of sharing a secret. So he didn't say it so explicitly, but did allude to this.
Amen 🌿 I'm living hell right now. I'm from a small town, my husband during our divorce told people I have PTSD . He let people know when I received my divorce settlement . Local meth /fent druggies started casing me , stealing, men started coming to my home asking if I needed yard work. I live in the country police are not available here....I live on trust land. B.IA. jurisdiction . My x Father- in law is local attorney the court house here is the good ole buddy system. My home has been Broken into eight times .
@@ctlo4403 🌿🌈🌿
Exactly but no way to know if they will keep the secret
Not everybody has to know your secrets. That’s like giving the keys to your house to every person you meet.
Someone has keys to my house and I didn’t give it to them! DISRESPECTFUL!
Welll living a lie my whole life and keeping a big gigantic secret for my whole life has not only cost me severe harm mentally and physically but it has ate me up! My whole life I was hiding that I was transgender and I didn’t want to deal with it because I was terrified of being vulnerable with myself and being vulnerable with everyone else around me. But it has severely harmed me keeping that secret inside. It really is a shame that people like me feel like we have to keep everything a secret
I understand your feelings although I am not part of your group and parties. As you have reveal the” sercet” which is not accept from the society.
Both way is harming you as you reveal it and keeping it in mind as the rumination thinking.
After I have read about the psychology from Adler, you don’t need to reveal it as to avoid the shameless, instead. You don’t reveal because as we are a human being as a unique individual, we don’t need to have the recognition from others but yourself instead.
For me though, revealing a secret and hiding a sercet is both painful. The best way is to accept yourself, trusting people( as there will not thinking you are weirdo), taking apart in a role in the society. By focusing yourself into a work/hobbies / and learning. You will less weighting the value of the secret in your life that you blaming for. Meanwhile, there will be more shining spot that you will be discover from others.
It’s okay that we’ve some trauma or sad history in the past. We all does, but don’t let it override you life.
The choice that you make is intentionally to make yourself better, although is not accept by society, but there will not life partners that will support you and understand your feelings. You choice is not a regretful decision, it is just a fact and neutral event that happen in our life. Please don’t connect your negative emotion choice on this decision.
I genuinely support you decision as it making yourself to a better position and make yourself as the ideal self. Be brave and don’t need shame.
Good luck🙏
Quick summary. There's a difference between secrecy and privacy. Secrecy is when you withhold information because you are afraid of consequences(Here, I am talking about toxic secrets, not the good ones). Privacy is when you withhold information because you don't want to or you are not comfortable to share it with anyone. There are good secrets too like surpise birthday party, marriage proposal, etc. Here, the intent is to make other person happy. You are not afraid of it. A secret is bad when it's affecting your health and you are ruminating about it often and that too in a negative way. The possible way to deal with this is find a person you can confide in and who, you think, will give you the helpful response you need. However, it's easier said than done.
to all the people who didn't have seven minutes 😅
@@Fnidner Read away🙃
Without secrets. Currency of knowledge is valueless to the hidden hands that weald it....
They both lead up the same, sharing private information may lead to consequences in the long. You could be wary of sharing private matters without intent, end up used against you. Hence, consequence. I suppose it's really about intent, not consequence.
"Three may keep a secret if two of them are dead." Ben Franklin, 1735
I trained in the Army as an intelligence analyst/interpreter. It was repeatedly drummed into our heads-"No Need To Know !"
0:36 - I think shame can be a powerful force for positive change, too. I've come to value and appreciate my shame for motivating me to be a better person.
Dont disagree, however if the shame is induced not by one s perception and based on external perceptions of a behavior then one has a large chance of creating distortions with regard to self perception, leading to confusion and difficulty with regards to figuring out what fits and what does not. I beleive there is ample evidence put forth by professional in the field of questions that using shame as a motivator is not the greatest idea with regards to mental health. However in no way am i suggesting that you are wrong for you just that assuming what works for u will work for others when professionals seem to contradict your idea would not be wise. Just an opinion of mine though. Take care
People often confuse keeping secrets with telling lies.
Because withholding information is a form of lying.
@@pinchebruha405 - Or a trait proving one’s self being worthy of trust. Context matters.
@@pinchebruha405 Well, it could be. Or it could be a sense of privacy. There is a difference.
Withholding information is a lie not a form of lying! People can make wrong decisions ( life changing) based on upon a person withholding valuable information!
The super weird timing of this when I just decided to blurt out that I’m bi/gay (idk haven’t really figured it all out yet) to my closest friends.
Revealing secrets is the best way to give people amuniition to use against you.
It's amazing how doctors, lawyers, etc. keep things confidential 👏🏽
Add to this, THERAPISTS!
Everyone that works with famous and vip people…
Whatever you keep as a secret just move on and focus on your future, moreover, forget the past, may you all have peace...
I'm sure you mean well but have you any concept of the variety of experiences people have had to manage in life, most often by themselves. Just get over it attitude really doesn't help. It fuels the whole living in a delusion of respectability
I think I have no secrets anymore. More frustrations and worries from what is happening around the world.
🌿🍂🌿
@@Saturntabbytype2 well, you enjoy your dream then, good luck with that. I don't believe in that either.
It hurts the more i keep secrets, it hurts to hold secrets for others,
It hurts that i have to keep my mouth shut about a lot of things.
My shoulders will never get lowered cause i cant ever feel like i can share mine with anyone, but I make others feel safe enough for them to tell their secrets to me.😢
Go to a counsellor or therapist. They are legally not allowed to share what you say
I think secret is something is we don't want to reveal to public because we think it is a shame. Such as I was bullied severely in high school, was in a psychiatric hospital for 2 months due to the trauma, and was a virgin until the late 20s. Turned out that it is nothing to worry about revealing these facts. We are not perfect, and nothing to be scared about revealing our vulnerability.
Very interesting concept! The choice has been revealed from my experiences. I have learned there is time and space for disclosure! Some people deserve my time and attention because they display a balanced relationship with genuine kindness, reciprocal skills, and understanding the difference between words and actions. Other people move in a ways that don't suit my preferences, like high contrast orchestrations, a scarcity mindset, validation seeking, and rigidity. The choice is abundantly clear.
A secret is something you tell no one. If you tell anyone, it's no longer a secret.
eh, no
Nothing wrong with secrets. It all depends on your life philosophy. Don't let your ego make a big deal out of it
The flaw is you need to let go of your ego.
@@lexilamonica7 nobody can let go of their ego. Believing you have is likely a sign your ego has grown.
@@lexilamonica7 Everyone has ego, it’s part of the human experience and not something inherently bad.
@@369Rose yeah
"keeping a secret is choosing loneliness"
Maybe I'm just emotionally stronger to handle it. Keep everything a secret eventually someone will question you and try to force the answer out of you by coersive means.
When everyone around you is homophobic and you are taught that being lgbt means you'll go to hell. You keep that secret like your life and after life depends on it. Being older now I realise that the prejudice and theistic claims are both utter nonsense. But the secret that has protected you for so long is difficult to let go of.
I was on an all girls multi day mountain bike trip in a remote canyon in Utah. We ran into one other group during our time in the canyon - a group of guys - and we partied with them one night. The next morning when a few of us were up, one woman said her tent mate didn't sleep in the tent and was asking if any of us knew where she was. We did, because we saw her flirting with one guy in particular. No big deal, right? Except she was MARRIED. She is a former best friend of mine and I know other unsavory things about her. I ended up not hanging out with her anymore because she did a crazy thing that caused an issue between me and my daughter. And this woman is very highly thought of in the community, lol. After I decided to walk away from the relationship, I was so happy to relieve the weight of her secrets from my shoulders. Not in a gossipy way, just telling my husband, daughters, and a good friend. It's not fair to expect people to keep your crappy secrets, but if you do, you better be nice to them *forever*!
Revealing some things just destroys people. Use with caution.
Usually people can accept things coming from the people that they care about. it's the finding out by surprise that makes people upset
This is true! Sadly I have secrets that I can't tell anyone as long as prisons exist.
Therapists are confidential
"...tell me your secrets, ask me your questions...nobody said it was easy..."
Indians back off. Dhotis stay away from Nepal and stop stealing their remittance and tourism money. And behave!
Consider the following:
a. I am a human as defined by humans.
b. I am an energy based quarkelectronian as modern science claims that all matter is made up of quarks, electrons and interacting energy and I am made up of matter and interacting energy.
c. I am a being of 'light', 'if' my current theory of everything is correct whereby the 'gem' photon is the energy unit of this universe that makes up everything in this universe, including space, time and numbers. (Currently dependent upon the results of my gravity test).
d. "I" do not even actually exist but eternally existent space time exists as "me", currently in the forms as above.
* I exist and yet "I" simultaneously do not exist, dependent upon perspective. But yet, do "I" not truly exist in absolute truth reality as only eternally existent space time exists as all things in absolute truth reality?
* "I" can mentally change between perspectives thereby experiencing existence from those various perspectives. "My" mind continues to expand, but is it truly 'my' mind that is expanding or is it eternally existent space time's mind that is expanding? In absolute truth reality, it would seem to be the later.
Then there are us who just forgets it.
I would tell certain things only to a trusted therapist. They are required to be confidential.
Just because they are required to be confidential, doesn't mean they are. I personally know an incident where they were not.
In general they are but you are correct. Nothing is 100% safe.
You shouldn’t accept all ads
“ I’m not sure your could offer me nothin sir”
Can’t tell you. It’s a secret. But once it’s out, I’ll tell you what it was.
4:42 we can either cope and forgive ourselves or double down
When you are capable of love - the ability to keep secrets becomes a source of honour and pride; because you have been entrusted with the self-destruct key to something that you don't want destroyed. Ergo: politics is the process that has the least use for love.
My world crashed in 2014. Career phased out and body got worse. It is an extreme rarity that I see or talk to anyone off the computer. Nothing to really do with secrets. Already canceled the holidays. At least, I have the memories.
Thanks for sharing this information have a great day ❤
The power of me knowing everyones Secrets and we all share secrets together and none of you know what secrets ajajajaj I LOVE IT ,, MARCIANO WE HAVE SOME UNFINISHED BUSINESS BOY LOL XXX
When listening to this, it reminds of "Crime and Punishment," by Dostoevsky. This explains the elict affects of secrecy in the human mind, perfectly.
I think of Stendhal's missed connection in Armance, some Maupassant novels, most of Balzac and at least half of Zola's Rougeon-Macquarts
We will see, I go back to college within the year and will be running into generation Z and up. I will try to find a right one and open my heart again.
Amazing short. Thank you!
I disagree... keeping a secret in this extremely sharing-your-life-on-social-media society may be one of the sanest things you can do. Trust and intimacy are build overtime and with common experiences that tell you who the people around you are. If we live in a society full of secrets and if so many people said they were keeping one, it only tells us how rotten society is, how we cannot build real connection and trust with the people around us to tell our secrets.
Be careful who you tell your secrets too. A licensed counselor is best. A pastor if trained. A support group. Like ALANON.
Never reveal secrets to a narcissist,,,we all know why,,, Never !
This is an absolutely WONDERFUL piece. Extremely insightful! Prof Slepian, you are amazing! I would love to learn more about how you conceived your 3-D map and how you linked the dots.
Rurik
I've got a secret I've been hiding...
Under my skin, my heart is human. My blood is boiling. My brain, IBM.
Same, spill your secret to me, I'm not involved on your personal life so I will not affect your life, spilling your secrets to me will help lift weight of your shoulders
Secrets are a byproduct of a natural real-world ecology that rewards one set of behaviors with pleasure and a social construct that rewards and punishes another set of behavior. This schizophrenia between our cult and our ecology rewards people for doing the things that bring them pleasure and then hiding those things so they won't be punished by the cult. The cost of this is individual schizophrenia, or a gap between behavior that is seen by many people and behavior that is done privately. There is a cost to holding a secret, a cost to the schizophrenia of maintaining two images and transitioning between them and a cost of always following personal instincts and beliefs and a cost for always complying with the cult dogmas around us to avoid being caught.
The deeper question is how to avoid the cult schizophrenia in the first place? I think that a mixture of directions remove secrets:
1) Increase emphasis on the science of well-being: what behavior leaves us and our group better off sustainably.
2) A commitment to meet every person's basic human needs sustainably: to ensure that every person has a safe place to sleep, a healthy meal or more a day and the security of community support, while having the option of good friends.
3) Ongoing innovation in technology to create super-abundance of low cost energy, food, information and education.
4) Fewer laws about human behavior and more transparency about human behavior.
5) More study and emphasis on best-practices based on data: the best way to get things done and why.
6) More quality time with fewer people: Most lies are a by-product of inadequate time, inadequate attention to seeing each other clearly, and insensitivity due to a lack of empathy and understanding.
7) Creating more independent access to our needs leads to freedom and less abuse of power. In a scarcity environment it is normal for those in power to manipulate for more resources than the rest of the group. This manipulation is less effective the more the balance of power is equal.
Absolutely!
loneliness is like smoking 1 pack of cigs?, shit then as a smoker, I must be smoking 2 packs a day.....
charismatic lector
Thank you
“You don’t have to tell the person you’re keeping it from”?
"you are only as sick as your secrets" Frank Milos
I keep forgetting the secrets I'm told
I swear to God I'm not keeping any secrets. Of course, it could be that I've forgotten the secrets that I am keeping, but they weren't that important anyway. I mean it is true that I don't tell my mom that I like to swear like a sailor in conversation or that I'm an atheist. But I don't consider them secrets. That's none of their business.
Thursday 26th September 2024.
10.10am.
Thank you.
If you want to keep secrets stay off the phone!
Open up to the right person some people will create problems for you i had a person i know have a secret against me opened up to the wrong people and the person messed up my life now i am a walking target to everyone and i have done nothing wrong to anyone everyone wants to have a problem with me because of a stupid secret that is not worth it and the person should have just kept their mouth shut
My mother told me at a young age my brother is not my fathers son… 5 years ago I told her to let my brother know, she didn’t have the courage, I had to do it my self since it was such a heavy weight for me growing up.. such a baggage I had to carry, they told
Me not to tell him that every family has secrets.. my relation ship with him was never 100 percent good and I think it was because of that.. never teach a kid to lie
It wasn't fair for your mother to transfer the burden of that secret from her to you. I appreciate you having the courage to speak the truth, and help heal your family.
don't lie to your children...
Loving this new Big Think Branding. Awesome work
Thank you!
I hate secrets
You dont know exciting and adventurous to live with secrets. You just need to make sure it doesn’t hurt others.
I have a secret but I don't want to be know for it. I don't want it to take over my life, or my identity. I used to be a prostitute, before I met my partner. I love him & only him. I'm not the same person that I was when that happened. My values have changed. It, in a way made me feel grounded and satisfied with a " typical life" because I don't have any fantasy about cheating or doing wild things because. 1. Sex with a stranger, is only a moment of pleasure and then meh its gone, not worth it. Plus it's not always great and it's usually better in our imagination. Which I'm veryyyy aware of.
But here's the thing I'm also aware of, most haven't walked in my shoes & may not be aware of how it feels. Maybe one day I'll say it, but I just don't see a good reason to do so at the moment.
I’d say by sharing here anonymously you are diminishing the internal pressure of holding that secret. Personally, I don’t think you have anything to be ashamed of. Sounds like you learned valuable lessons from that experience and that’s admirable.
@@Kormac80 Yes learnt a lot. Just trying to focus on the present, which has been beneficial. I know I'm on the right track when I imagine time slowing down and me still being okay with what's happening in my life. That's something I wouldn't have said before. So it's like a little life thermometer 🌡️ Wishing you well. 🌸
You found someone to love. You are lucky.
the most body horror thumbnail
Even better with the eye thumbnail above it in the videos list.
Focus on what's real!
You can keep a secret and still manage a happy life by focusing on your future and your family.
When I listened to this, it didn't remind me, but it made me think of Julian Assange. He decided to share despicable secrets about those in power to the trustful around them, and what he got in return was that those in power decided to exact revenge on him by attempting to destroy him in every way. This video hardly even touches on that type of situation.
I have forgotten the location of half the doors in my minds palace.
The purpose of science is that it's impartial. If they own anything more than Diogen, or Muammar Quaddafi, they're wrong. You're just an organisation with profit interests.
European science also makes zero sense (as a tool to shift around words and debate God), because Arab science is the highest one of all, they've tried mathematically EVERYTHING, and found God being above all.
Why would I feel guilty for keeping a secret?
What to do when the secret you keep, just cannot be told, for your own safety and security? That's when it becomes difficult. Some secrets, just have to be kept secret it seems.
Learn to fight. Get into mixed martial arts and hit the gym. Learn to shoot if its legal where you are at. Then defend yourself but be firm anyway. People want prey, not someone who can break their arms and feed them into their own woodchipper.
2kth like like on video. Very true information thank you for this.
Thanks for this - I hadn't met up with your channel before RUclips just suggested this video. Grateful for the subject matter here, and have enjoyed the way you have delivered it. Best 🙂
What about telling your dreams?
What is the secret ?????
Is this the guy from the animation in the townton bar and the 2 guys keep talking about Tony lazudo and this dude kept appearing in the alleyway??.?
I am a very secretive person, learned this as a child as a very effective tool. I don't agree its damaging. I wouldn't have it any other way. If i really trust someone, i may reveal shades of some of this.
Yeah but that’s the issue every time I would reveal secrets I would fight with my parents or partners so I am like fuck it. I mean it makes sense how should you tell your girlfriend to secretly want to get rich and fuck a bunch of gold digging bitches.
this feels so much heavy on extrovert side!😅
I wonder if this scholar has ever studied the physical and psychological damage caused by betrayal.
When did secrets become a super power? I would hope people realize that if they do share it’s with a person that they’ve had a long relationship with. They’ve built a long trusting relationship and can express themselves because they know they got each other’s backs till death do them apart or their ride or die.
Secrets eventually pop out
What horrible crime did all of you to, that you need to reside to such means?
3:40 or just become the perfect psychopath
Hold no secrets. Come to your local government office and confess!
It's interesting that you put it this way. An unjust law can be a form of violence, and the secrets needed to protect against an unjust law are also a form of violence.
In my experience sharing a secret is worst and have much more negative results than just keeping it.
Me too
I'm not much a people person so I can agree or disagree with too much conviction, but I will say that I don't think that will ALWAYS be the case. You just have to be lucky and find the right people to talk to about your secret.
In a world where access to mental health professionals , anonymous organizations ie AA , etc.. even hotlines i believe there are ways accesible to most in order to share secrets in a safe environment
I'm getting your book, but I'm not telling you why.
Dude, you are not helping. I told a secret and got excluded from a "party" of people. How not to be a blabermouth!? - that should be your next video.
Learn to be alone so you can learn to be in companionship….✌️
Very good video
Awesome video.
Glad you liked it, thanks!
Scerts are coop.
Bule Amt 3 are good bppks
Secrets are LIES
And then the secret society that manipulates your life sends secret assassins because they know your secret and you know theirs and they're not certain about your Deadman switch so it's a cat-and-mouse game where your both secretly mice and the cat is stray. They can also read your mind and may be training you to do the same.
the Thumbnail is really disturbing
Focus on what's real
You'll be OK
While I understand the study is focused on secrecy in general, I would like to know more about the impact of burdensome secrets such as state secrets or security reliant upon secrecy.
Given the nature of what you are referencing i doubt if there is much data on people that keep "classified" data. I guess one could make a broad mental health assessment on holders of confidential info without breaching confidentiality however drs and lawyers are privy to much confidential info and at least anecdotally they dont seem to be saying much about the issue
@@dr4track1 Yea you are probably right. Although I am still curious. 🤔
@jackfishthe6th373 Everything unnatural usually has a negative consequence.
It's only a secret because of the concept of an enemy (which is fear)
or because of hierarchical-power (which is evil control).
It's by design; using chaos & confusion, which leads to fear & anxiety, which leads to control.
No Man is an island and Our deceptive and false indoctrination
around the concept of "enemy race", "enemy states" "enemy countries" is a lie
to stop Us All from attaining true freedom & unity,
while maintaining control (evil power).
The solution is; practicing love and care,
which leads to Self-sovereignty & Self-control,
which leads to more peace and true freedom.
His secret is 8 bodies under his house lol
Michael myers pops out with a knife 🔪
😂
Here is a little secret for you. Listen to this speech without that inspirational background music and all you will hear will Be nonsenSe. Now that you know it, it is your decision what to do with it. Will you share it, or will you keep it and live the rest of your life with that shame?!
13 of these 38 categories are about sex! Oh pathetic humans....😂
Wait, but how to keep secret as secret???:/
I have no secrets, but no one ever asks/ talks with me...
Right
That's balance!☯
is there any video of this channel not meant to sell books for the authors?
it's not MEANT to, but it's basically their selling point for authors/experts to come on and instead of paying them, they give them exposure. Think Marcelo, think
It’s a great way to introduce you to the authors and hopefully you find them intriguing maybe you want to buy thier book!
Does everybody have a book to flog?
Don't worry about it!
It's not the determiner of truth
You may think it is, anyway.
We all have them and more than many may realise. It’s life. It’s a part of who we are. Life is not easy no matter what
Так сыворотка же правды есть... Шаринган шисуи...