You'll watch an entire Netflix show even when the first episodes are slow and boring just because someone told you "it gets better." *But what if you looked at your goals like that and watched your life get better instead???*
Great point. Even if financially it doesn't get insanely better, creatively I've pushed myself and grown so much, the aspect of money has been less worrying. There are always jobs to be taken. But there's not always inspiration so I'm learning to really take advantage of it when inspiration does strike.
When i was younger, i was in what i thought was a pretty serious relationship. I was in college, burned out, broke, and taking a semester off. in reality, i was probably on my way to permanently dropping out of school. During this time, I found out that my partner was cheating on me with one of my other close friends, and we broke up once this came to light. I asked the usual questions of "Why do you want someone else" and the answer i got was a shallow... basically "i think the other guy is going to be more successful than you" That fucking devastated me... because that's not how i saw myself at all. I felt like i was just collecting myself to try again, or try something different.. and then i got hyper-motivated in the worst way. I basically went into "i'll show her what she's missing out on" mode... and finished college. Twice. With honors... I'm finally doing the work that i think is important, im finally realizing goals i've had for a long time. I even did it with only a tiny amount of debt that i paid off in the first year out of school. I rode that Revenge Success train to the bank until the thought of revenge "winning" just wore off and became meaningless... and i began realizing that i could have done the same thing thinking about my own interests, rather than some other person's opinion, and i could have done it with much less anger and spite. I'm where i am today because of years of unhealthy motivation... but it also gave me the resources and space i needed to work on the healthier me now. I don't recommend it... but "Fuck you" can be one powerful motivator.
this reminds me of adults trying to spite their childhood bullies, at some point you need to give yourself permission to let go and set your own standards, letting go isn't letting them off the hook, it's letting yourself off the hook for feeling guilty about what they did to you
@@sarah3602 Not surprisingly, she went through a very dark period in her life. When you associate with people that hold that kind of view, that's kind of to be expected. What is surprising though is that we actually are on good terms again. We re-connected recently, both very different people, and have become the closest of friends. She called me one night out of the blue about 5 years ago needing someone (really anyone...) to talk to. I really didn't care, but i knew if she didn't leave there she'd probably be dead in a month. I ended up driving across the country, picked her up with a single suitcase, and dropped her off back in her hometown at her mom's to start over. Over 2 days of driving we let it all out. Just straight venting about all the pain we each carried. With each other, with anything, just uncorked the bottle of emotions and poured it out, past and present. We talk almost every day now, and are both becoming the people we wanted to be. Once the gloves came off while we shouted and cried on the drive to her mom's place, and we hashed out our beef along the way... the raw unfiltered honesty stayed with our new friendship, and is why we're close once again. It took almost 10 years to get here, and im glad with how things ended up. Nobody understands why I'd ever talk to her again, but that's OK. They have no idea how either of us have changed or how great it is to have someone that knows all your dirty laundry... and i don't really need them to understand either. So in the end it's a melancholicly happy story, but it took a lot to get there. :)
Anger is useful. It is energy. It creates change. Sorrow just buries us, turns us to sludge. It's not good to live in anger, but if the anger is there and you can harness it like a bucking horse to ride to a destination - any destination better than where you're trapped - do it. I think if we surveyed people on their true motivations behind everything they do, seldom would you find a person with pure intentions.
People will always hate you. Untalented, people make fun of you, too talented no one likes you. Dumb, people hate you, too intelligent people hate. Ugly, get teased, too good looking people get jealous. Bottom line is fk people, they are average, 90 iq masses of hateful people. Do you.
I've watched a number of "fear of success" videos because I know that fear is why I procrastinate, but this one hits different. I relate so much to a couple of your points. You have identified exactly where my particular flavour of fear is originating. Now that I know where the problems lay I can address them. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts with us, struthless. You're definitely helping people.
It came from your heart. Kudos! Also, you are to enjoy the power of "Now"; before you do more self critique. Every day is a new day and it is certainly different. Therefore, get back to the people who "You" matter to. Be it one person, get in touch and you'd find more success due to the resonating energies. This is called constructive interference. Thanks.
Dr. K (Healty Gamer GG) often asks people, who he interviewes if there was a time when they didn't yet have the problem they're struggling with. And very often when they remember that, they are able to identify key happenings in their life's that caused them to have a specific mindset. I found this profoundly helpful for my own wellbeing, because it helps so well to separate adult me from helpless-child or helpless-young-person me.
Great video as usual. However, in my case my fear of success is more of a "Can I actually handle it?" when it happens and can I keep up with the expectations of the people who actually made me be in that place - fans, clients, viewers. With that stress and when you add a sprinkle of imposter syndrome the cocktail that is created doesn't taste nice and subconsciously I self sabotage myself.
Yesss! I feel the same way! What I've realized, though is that humans can easily adapt to things, because I've been able to do things in the past that didn't seem possible for me to handle, but I was able to pull through anyway! We are probably much stronger and more capable than we think! So I'm starting not to worry too much about the future, because, who knows, I might have gathered enough experience and expertise to successfully handle anything that I may face at that point in the future! I wish you the best!
I’m about to graduate after a long battle of financial and mental crisis, the fact I’m about graduate is considered a success and an image that I am not familiar with myself, I always thought I won’t make it till the end. Seeing this video is such a good timing, especially facing my final exams :) Always loved your videos, always reminding me to take it one step at a time and look at things differently. Thanks, Campbell! EDIT: I finished my studies and I’m all set for my graduation! Even decided to opt for the ceremony as a testament and celebration that I pulled through. 😭 this was something I initially thought I didn’t deserve to go for.
8:10 As a perfectionist, I really agree with this, as long as you focus on just trying to convey what you mean, it really works wonders, correcting yourself for every minute mistake you make is just gonna leave you stressed and not have the motivation to make the video anymore.
When you spoke about how as soon as you kill the desire to desperately have something, that is when you can actually have that thing, it reminds me of the NZ men's rowing team who recently won gold at the Olympics, they cited pretty much the same thing as one of the major reasons they were able to win the gold medal.
Hey, I am not sure if you will see this but I've been watching your videos for a few months. I was in huge denial about how depressed and anxious I really was. Your videos, what you're about etc encouraged me to seek professional help for my mental health. I started antidepressants today so I'm excited for this journey. Your tips did help me gain some control of my life back but I definitely need the extra support of professionals. Thanks so much
@@user-rx7lc1od7w I don't have ig anymore. I just couldn't handle being on that app with poor mental health. I picked up 12 rules for life and I am restarting therapy. Hopefully it goes well
I freaking love you Thank you my man! Just went through the biggest crisis in my life, and I’m totally restarting everything lost my family my friends my fiancé my god and just everything hit the freaking fan and I can’t express how much I needed this all ur other videos Thank you so so much, I can’t express to You how much even ur style of “chill your Jets dude life is good if You let it” Just thank you man from the bottom of my heart ❤️❤️❤️
1:35 in and already, this video was a breath of fresh air. your ability to casually and candidly acknowledge your "success crash" whilst reminding us of the "post dip growth" made me breathe a sigh of relief. thank you for reminding me I'm human, these are human feelings and Im no less human (or successful) for experiencing these things too. congrats on the recent successes and thanks for always keeping it real 🤙
The journalling exercise at the end: 1. What do I define as Shallow Success? 2. What do I define as Deep Success? 3. Why do I want Shallow Success? 4. What would Shallow Success mean for my life? 5. What are the negative repercussions of Shallow Success? 6. Why am I scared of them? 7. What would happen if they came true? 8. What do I fear most about Success? 9. How does this relate to my relationship to Deep Success? 10. How Can I heal?
I love this. I was way too attached to my dream of becoming a fitness youtuber and it caused me immense stress so I quit. I pursued something completely different where I wasn’t too bothered about success and achieved that goal in way less time. Love this message - don’t care about the results, focus on the journey (cliche but it’s sooo true)
I tried explaining my “fear of success” to my therapist and she was so confused. “Don’t you mean fear of failure?” She asked. And I just couldn’t provide a reason that made sense to her. You have eloquently articulated what has been rustling around in my brain for years. Thank you 🥰
From México, i'm SO thankful for your videos. I usually Enter to RUclips when i'm on a crisis and don't know what to do. Sometimes i don't Even know how to look for what i need to hear and then booooom the answer. Thanks, you are amazing 🦀
I go through waves of this… I realized it’s a lot of my own definitions of success that define my happiness. Sometimes overlooking small success keeps from reaching big success later. I also have been always told people learn a lot more from failing than from success. Accepting failure is not easy but needed for success
I’ve had a dream to become a famous rapper/musician since something like 5 years back. I always thought it was my destiny. Sadly this dream has brought me a ton of pain and misery. I had a passion and was definitely interested in rap music which is here I started. But over the years I got more and more hungry for that “shallow success” (fame, power, money) and I thereby lost my original interest. I have thereby felt very miserable whenever I do bad music or no music at all. I’ve been treated badly by some people and my dream always were a way of me to say “f*ck you” to their faces and get the appreciation and approval I wanted. This has become very unhealthy for me over the years. Like I said I’ve been feeling very miserable:( I still don’t know exactly what to do. I’ve considered a “normal life” a failure since those people won’t be impressed by me. I know subconsciously that fame and power isn’t gonna make me feel any better in the long run. Ive even imagine getting all that and the just live a peaceful life and “learn my lesson” or whatever. I think if I’m gonna continue to do music it won’t be all for the shallow success. It has stripped me of all my creativity and happiness. I just made an album and yes, there were times where I had fun making the music and stuff, BUT the fear of making bad music controlled the entire project and I therefore always feared rapping bad to the point where I didn’t even wanna rap, since I was afraid of it turning out bad. The conflict in my head says something like: “Do what makes you happy and only do music whenever you feel like it” “but at the same time I know that success won’t come without a fair bit of grinding, and grinding isn’t always fun. I’ve been very unsure if I want to pursue this music career or not, since it has brought me all that misery. But at the same time the thought of making it feels like heaven and my revenge. What to do…
I REALLY resonate with the "Remove the need to be successful". For example, with my RUclips channel I first made videos and I always thought it had to be perfect for all the wrong reasons (i.e. Success). Which stressed me out so much... But now I make videos that make me proud (and nothing else) and I enjoy it so much more, get more done, and I feel more fulfilled. Ofc they are not super successful, but at least I made a video I can say I am proud of and nobody can take that away from me.
I had a phase where i was only driven by revenge success and on the outside it was highly effective, until i walked home from a night clubbing and i felt this mixture of guilt, melanchony and nostalgia. I had become an arrogant hustling person full of vanity. That was the last night i had a drink, deleted my ig and stopped grinding 24/7. Now i am much more balanced. However this is not just a good thing. I now associate success with arrogance and started idealising mediocrity as i dont want to be this unlikeable dude i used to be. Needing success is bad but avoiding it is not much better.
I felt it when you said that “it protects your identity” I’m in therapy and my therapist is helping unpack this so deeply that I’m glad I decided to get help. Your videos are always a delight. Thanks for sharing!
Damn dude, you hit points in more ways than I could when arguing with my parents about the emerging toxicity of highly-competitive environments I was thrust into and had no choice but to adapt. In a way, my lingering hatred for the situations I was forced to be in and endure fed into my fear of success, that the people I should have support from would suddenly put more unrealistic expectations upon me and that I'd lose my sense of self and drive the more I see achieving something "as a means to an end" rather than something I would unabashedly "live the moment" (basically, the whole being vs living dichotomy). Innumerable thanks, friend, for bringing this out.
A few thoughts: 1) I am lazy and unmotivated. However, I have realised that it is also part of my identity, I have always had an aversion to people perceiving that I am actively trying. At anything. I either want to be seen as doing it without effort, or I don't want to be seen doing it at all. 2) In relation to 'not that good' and comparison. When I think of an idea I like, and I see a similar idea on a popular show, I get disheartened, as I assume my idea will be seen as a unoriginal, a rip-off, plagiarism. 3) I too do not work without a deadline, and I still don't work if the deadline only affects me. If the deadline affects others, I do it. I still leave it to the very last minute, but I do it. Perhaps combining this with doing it for someone else's sake may be the key. I might even do the journal thing. Thanks.
Oh man, relaxed energy versus desperate energy...that seriously resonated with me. This entire video was fantastic. Seriously, thank you. Many hugs for the rut you fell into. I'm glad to see you back.
Some of the most accurate but simple advice I heard about success the other day was this, "Honestly, the secret to success in anything is doing it consistently for 10 years"
Thought I’d share with you my little success: I haven’t started drawing yet but I’ve been working on shading/coloring and following your advice of drawing the same thing every day … the last two months, I’ve been shading sugar skulls and I last night I started my 15th sugar skull and I finally noticed that I might have done something that stylistically might be original to me. I feel so blessed that I found your channel cos I had been praying for a “creative partner/mentor/etc. Thank you. You’re a powerful influencer. I appreciate you! ✌🏼
I pre-ordered your book and now have my grubby little mitts on it - it's feckin FANTASTIC! Thanks for writing it and doing these videos too. For most of this video I was nodding my head going 'holeee shit'. I've been sober for 9 years now and your insights really help keep me on track - and that is deep success for me.
Not liking people who have success is part of the basics for being French. It's a part of me that I don't like, but I can't help it - especially since when I was in college, I built my social identity around failing (at the very least, not doing my best) in order to hang with the cool guys.
This is definitely a 'watch again' video. So much to unpack here. As Always, Thank You for thought provoking content. Also, you do you, sir. I'm not here to judge - only to learn and grow. Indubitably making a boat load of mistakes along the way. Even at age 67. I wish you a smooth journey. We will still watch, we will still read your book, and we will still feel the compassion of your soul reaching out to us through our devices. Whenever you are able to show up - so will we.
Another word for relaxed energy for me would be “contentment”. When you are content, you won’t strive to prove yourself, and no one can pressure you because you’re completely happy and fine where you are. Real insightful Campbell
omg.... every single one of these resonates with me, especially the one that says - it increases the likelihood of getting hate. As a fellow Australian, I really agree when you said people just don't celebrate success here. In Australia, if you're happy that you've made progress and you tell certain people, even in a humble way, they think you're bragging.... (or I could be just hanging with the wrong crowd). I really struggle with not caring what people think, while trying not to become someone who becomes disassociated with emotion...
Cam, I just finished reading your book and I cried reading the end. I love you and your work so much, you are an incredible human being doing important and beautiful things and I am really really thankful for you. Thank you for existing, you are truly amazing and an inspiration. Love you!!! ❤️
This is a great video! People with autism and PTSD like me tend to think poorly of themselves, one problem I've always had is thinking "I do not deserve happiness". Because I had a rough childhood. Because I was always sacrificing what I wanted in life for my family whenever there wasn't enough for us all to get what we wanted. I'd rather see my mother or younger siblings happy than get what I want. Now I'm in my early 30s and I'm just sick of taking care of everyone else and never asking about when it's my turn? When do I get to like... want stuff? For myself? I have to basically train myself to think it's OK to go after stuff I want. Being socialized as a girl is also a factor. If you know, you know.
I have been grappling with this exact thing for so long. My ideas live in my head because the success I dream about is much easier to attain there than if I take a chance in reality. It’s so frustrating and exhausting. After watching this I think I can try and take that leap off the edge and take the first step that I’ve been putting off for years. Thank you for this PSA that I really needed to hear ❤️
Why? 1. Shallow Success vs. Deep success @1:35 2. More to gain means more to lose @2:21 3. You're worried people won't have sympathy for you @3:41 4. It doesn't make sense culturally @4:05 5. It increases your likelihood of getting hated @4:26 6. You're scared you just might not be that good @4:54 Strategies: 1. Label stuff @5:50 2. Articulate the timeline @6:04 3. Push through for someone else's sake @6:19 4. Reconnect with what got you excited in the first place @6:53 5. Remove the need to be successful (relaxed energy vs. desperate energy) @7:08 Unhealthy strategies: 1. Remove the choice to be successful @9:23 2. Get revenge success @9:56 Journaling exercises on the Fear of Success: 1. What do I define as shallow success? 2. What do I define as Deep success? 3. Why do I want Shallow Success? 4. What would Shallow Success mean for my life? 5. What are the negative repercussions of Shallow Success? 6. Why am I scared of them? 7. What would happen if they came true? 8. What do I fear most about success? 9. How does this relate to my relationship to Deep Success? 10. How can I heal?
omg struthless this is exactly what is on my mind right now thanks the universe and thank you !! you are the most charming and relatable youtuber and i'm inspired by you a lot! love from china ❤️
i feel so blessed every time you post a video. i quit my office job in September and have been thinking of doing art for a living but the fear that people won't like it is crippling. and here your are with this video! really like the plan b strategy. I've been most relaxed when i thought hey, i can always go back to my old job if it doesn't work out, i live my colleagues and the job was fine. but i tried to scare off these thoughts cause it felt like I was giving up before even starting?
You articulate this from the heart so eloquently and in a manner that’s so relatable. Thanks for sharing how you’ve processed this with us, it’s definitely helped me! 🙌
Im glad that you call it a Dip and not a Backslide. Ive only ever heard it as Backslides, and that just sounds so harsh and creates this mental image of retrograde, instead of a forward journey even THROUGH the dips.
Just bought your book man, really love your content as I seem to struggle in a similar fashion to you with being an artist while working and trying to be productive and learn all the skills I need. It seems like no one wants to talk about all the work it takes, physical, intellectual, and emotional, but you dive deep into it. Thanks so much!
“Post crash growth”. Love that phrase. I am so glad I stumbled across you while looking for drawing help. Your honesty is refreshing and inspiring. Thank you!!!
you addressed a life long trauma i was suffering from my whole life that i had experienced affecting almost every friendship relationship i ever had. i am really grateful for this
The one about buying equipment and stuff is actually so helpful to me. It removes my excuses and then I can't blame anything but myself for not doing something.
I didn't quite realize that this was one of my big problems- plus I find it interesting how I found this the day you posted it which also happens to be my birthday, so thanks for the gift! Also looking forward to reading your book soon. I really appreciate all the work you put into what you do, it's all really interesting and deserves all the success it gets.
FINALLY, someone talks about the fear of success! THANK YOU! 🤗 Thank you so much for this! The whole internet goes on and on about the fear or failure and how to overcome it. F*** that! Man, you got me with reason number 2 the most. That one hurt, so I know it hit the right spot. I'm not afraid of failure... I see myself as a failure, as an outcast and whenever I start something, as soon as I see progress, as soon as I see I'm good at it, I will self-sabotage even if I don't want to... somehow I still do. And it kills me... But it also gives the "devil on my shoulder" a chance to say: "You see? You can't do/have/be that thing. That's not who you are." And then I look around, see what I've done and... all I can say in return is: "...yeah, I guess you're right. What was I thinking?..........."
The video went from a 10/10 to a 15/10 just by your doggo being there 💜 Also, it's kinda creppy how you always upload a video when I'm about to crash and help me stand up again. Thank you so much 💜💜💜
Always need videos like this from you! I am a singer songwriting trying to produce my own music- but I’ve got ADHD that is yet to be diagnosed (we love a two year waiting list). You help inspire me to change my way of thinking and you always make me feel heard. Been following you online for years but I subscribed on RUclips for this sort of stuff. Purchased your book for both my sister and I. You’ve got a great head on your shoulders and you’ve helped me make some good changes in my life. I know you enjoy reading good comments so I thought I’d share my appreciation instead of just watching it this time. Canada has yet to release your book, can’t wait to get it :)
"if i have too much love i'll lose it". I had to pause and just process that for a moment. That is definately a fear that's been lurking in my subconcious. Damn Campbell, you're just dropping insight like that like it's nothing! Congrats on the book. The vunerability in your videos is fucking admirable.
Recovered People-pleaser here! What a waste of my years to try and do what others EXPECT me to do. Have a corporate job and climb the ladder to then realize I AM ON THE WRONG LADDER I hated working for a boss, who was I kidding??? Myself. All I wanted was others to be happy for me and I was burning out! Fast-forward my life series, I am now traveling the world, living the laptop lifestyle, feeling HAPPY and FREE. We all have a choice in life and we are responsible for that choice. Do you choose to live with REGRET or do you choose to live the life YOU WANT? choice is yours.....
I just preordered your book here in Canada. Such a big fan of these videos, I always feel strangely lighter after watching one. I am working on a graphic novel and I swear battling through my own mental resistance is as much if not more work than actually just doing the drawing/writing itself. Part of me doesn’t even care if it’s good, it just needs to be done, the other part of me will accept nothing less than exactly what I have created in my mind, which is an impossible target to reach since it’s always moving and changing on me. Thanks again for the great content, can’t wait to read your book. PS. I think the fact you are struggling with these things makes you MORE qualified to write about them, not less.
Thank you so much for this video. I just got your book and my spouse has been reading it out loud to me as we sit together. We even do the journalling exercises together. Thank you for your insight and for being such a grounded, loving force. Thank you also for being honest about who you are and when you hit rough patches. You are a tops bloke.
Hi Campbell. This is one of the most concise and well-made vids on the topic. Too many of us are stuck and have no idea why. Now we know what's going on and how to deal with it. Keep being awesome!
This was recommended to me this morning and I'm glad I watched it. I'm VERY aware that I am blocking becoming successful in my photography career. This has made me realise I need to figure out what exactly it is in my head and work past it. This video is very helpful, I think I may watch it a few times to drill some of these points into my head.
Man I love your channel, I love you. Thank you for what you do. You are creating such a safe environment, which makes accepting my bad sides not so painful, and really helps to understand what I can do about it. You are a LEGEND!
Dear RUclips, Please allow people to use a heart, not just a like - success or not, struthy needs loving. A RUclips energy that's not annoying, no claxons, no wobbly shots... just wholesome goodness.
As a creator who did the whole college route, have a 9-5 that gets my basic needs met, but always want more- I want to thank you for the content you produce. I know you may never see this comment, but struthless, your messages are more real and helpful, 9/10, than therapy I have spent 100s on. You are giving struggling "brains" out there hope an a sense of clarity that most aren't offering, and I just really hope you know that the work you do is a service. You put a voice to struggles I think most of us don't even recognize we are unnecessarily fighting. Thank you for finding your sobriety, and keep doing the great work you do. I'd hate to think how much harder the path would be for some of us without your messages helping clear the clutter from the mess of living in a brain that needs to make things. you remind us that we aren't alone in this chaotic world.
I used strategy 2 in a loop when I was deep in postnatal depression: I did things to look after my daughter's mother, i.e. me, but I couldn't see the point in doing things for myself. It tricked my brain and got me doing stuff again.
The protecting your identity part and the worried that you won't get sympathy I've heard before and is so spot on! I have had this since childhood. Thank you for reiterating this for me. I believe that getting rescued has been a mind set as an adult that I thought would help me, it has not and I'm working my way through this now. Loving your vids and animations, just found you now and I'm binging, thank you for providing this free info, putting yourself out there and making it so relatable that people may not have found with self help before and thank you for swearing, it makes me relate to you even more 😊
I just had to write this in the middle of the video. Paused it actually, to write this. Hearing about the possible reasons for my irrational fear of success (and probably my lack of self love/confidence) made me involuntarily tap my forehead with my knuckles like crazy. Then I knew. I finally knew what I was running away from. So thank you. Will watch the latter part for way to face these fears, but in the meantime, I just had to write this down on the comments. The urge to express my feelings in words took me over absolutely. Thank you.
How do you always know EXACTLY the upload I need at any given moment? LOL... I ended up sharing this with a few people, in no small part because the unhealthy coping mechanisms (especially the first one) are basically the things we're already doing, and we KNOW it's not sustainable, but most of us have ADHD and it's the only thing that's worked so far. This video ended up being MASSIVELY helpful as far as how to think of shallow vs deep success & conquering that fear of people hating us if we're too successful. Definitely some food for thought to bring to my next therapy session. :D Thank you for your uploads, and congrats on the book!
Other than the fact that my parents were already divorced when it happened and I only lived with my mom, I went through the exact same story that you shared in this video! Mom's company went bankrupt from stupid decisions, and she got laid off and we ended up losing our house. The idea of fearing success because the more you have, the more you have to lose, really is eye-opening. You can't know the devastation of losing your home if you never try to obtain one in the first place.
I love how this guy approaches all these videos with so much education and insight, and then relays it with so much empathy and chill. He's learning to forgive himself for being human and asks us to do the same. Kudos man
Your videos are gold! your entire channel is the best thing that has happened to my brain lately. I’m suffering from a burnout and I just can’t get out of it but your videos helped me so much. Thank you for your content!
The way this resonates with me is unreal. Thank you being genuine and so real. It’s refreshing af. You’re videos always make me feel like I’m okay. Wishing you the best!
I can't help but think that all of your videos are therapy sessions, for real. Each video is a different therapy session, and IT WORKS. Much better than 90% of the therapists in my country, trust me when I say this
You have a real talent for taking complex psychology concepts and reducing down to terms that people can clearly understand. And no pharmaceutical medication required!
Yo man.. I'm an aspiring movie director.. Stuff like that is golden. I hope you truly understand that you put out good quality and thoughtful videos, you bring the tools for us, now we have to use them. Plz also remember that, energy flows so easily.. Get stressed or put too much hype for a vid and it'll transmit to the camera. You're basically an actor for us in those vids.. So just clear your mind and make sure you love and believe what you say, and you'll make the most loveable vids.. You truly have the insight necessary, the appeal and the will for making those vids. You don't really have that much experience yet but it's okay cuz its just a time related question and it'll only get better.. One thing about experience is that as long as you keep going no matter how hard you fucked up, you'll still learn :) Anyway, thanks for fresh human "insight", hope you have a nice one pal :)
Not gonna lie, my education system related goals thrive on spite. Like, I know how part of my family thinks and talks of me and most days I'm legitimately doing it for the middle finger in their faces once I have my B.A. and maybe also an M.A.
Dude that relaxed energy one is so true. I make sketches and commentary videos and I've had an exceptionally hard time with coming off as anxious when it's just me and my camera. Actually just yesterday I decided to ditch the lights and office chair and film a commentary on a movie right from my bed, only lit by a lamp, and holy crap man what a WORLD of difference. Editing the footage and I come off so much more authentic and comfortable. I realized this before watching this video but seeing it put into words really solidifies the idea. Well done as always, you never disappoint!
I just thought about my fear of success yesterday, cause it was becoming evident in my recent life events. All these nonsense thought of mine is what is still holding me. Now I got a video of you explaining everything I wanted to hear. Thank you so much. Really loved the video.
You just made it more clear when you talked about replicating the "deadline feeling". Somehow, I thought about myself on how can I gradually remove my bad habits and I realized that they tend to creep up when I have nothing to do. It feels counterproductive since I am increasing my workload however it helps a lot in not putting myself to a hellhole of doing things that makes me feel guilt or regret after.
This is the most beneficial little punch to the solar plexus I've ever felt. A lot of that resonated with me and with the journaling exercise I uncovered some more. Now I know what to work on, and hopefully I'll manage to come out on top to the point where I genuinely try to give it my all when it comes to the goals I want to achieve. So thank you a thousand times for putting this video together!
Every video I watch of yours Feels like you are talking specifically to me😳 You totally get it & I think your openness about your own experiences helps people. THANK YOU
You are so wildly relatable! I love the way you simplify and box up concepts and ideas ☺️ somehow you take the angst and complexity and soften it making it palatable. NICE!🙏
This could have not come at a more appropriate time in my life. Thank you for always creating because you're helping so many understand while creating a community of awesome people!
I needed this. I made a feature film alone. It's not the greatest film ever, objectively speaking, but it's not the worse. I was interviewed in a local newspaper in July because my film was selected to be on a streaming platform, and then I panicked without being aware. I released it this week. I didn't even send it to the distributor yet.
I think I started to recognise a lot of these fears and questions within myself, and think about them and what they mean to me, and how to deal with them. This video gives the process and understanding such succinct clarity. Thank You.
Oh my God! Cam! I just got your book! It's amazing! I had expected it to be useful and interesting, and I've been dying for it to come. What I had not expected is how hilarious it is and how I would fall in love with your art work. I love the clever, disingenuous you I see on your videos, but I had no idea that you would be such a brilliant writer. Each page is a visual delight. I want to frame them all. I expect some of your characters to become iconic: everyone will get it when we refer to the YELLING ELEPHANT and the FREAKED OUT RABBIT. There has to be merch now! Posters with quotes, Stuthless illustrated journals where we interact with our Five Bosses and Grumpy Sock-Puppets, and T-shirts! I'll buy the first T-Shirt that says, "A life path isn't a get-out-of-suffering-free card." You did it, Buddy! Your book ROCKS! Thanks for the shout-out to teachers; I've been a middle-school teacher for twenty-seven years, and I can't wait to share some pages with my students. Thank you for your lavish, generous, beautiful book! Thank you for surviving all the hell you did and making yourself a gift to the world. THANK YOU!
You'll watch an entire Netflix show even when the first episodes are slow and boring just because someone told you "it gets better." *But what if you looked at your goals like that and watched your life get better instead???*
The good point
🤯
Because it's way easier to watch a show than to do things in life, this comparison ain't it.
I wanna watch Netflix now instead of self work videos
Great point. Even if financially it doesn't get insanely better, creatively I've pushed myself and grown so much, the aspect of money has been less worrying. There are always jobs to be taken. But there's not always inspiration so I'm learning to really take advantage of it when inspiration does strike.
When i was younger, i was in what i thought was a pretty serious relationship.
I was in college, burned out, broke, and taking a semester off. in reality, i was probably on my way to permanently dropping out of school.
During this time, I found out that my partner was cheating on me with one of my other close friends, and we broke up once this came to light.
I asked the usual questions of "Why do you want someone else" and the answer i got was a shallow... basically "i think the other guy is going to be more successful than you"
That fucking devastated me... because that's not how i saw myself at all. I felt like i was just collecting myself to try again, or try something different.. and then i got hyper-motivated in the worst way.
I basically went into "i'll show her what she's missing out on" mode... and finished college. Twice. With honors...
I'm finally doing the work that i think is important, im finally realizing goals i've had for a long time.
I even did it with only a tiny amount of debt that i paid off in the first year out of school.
I rode that Revenge Success train to the bank until the thought of revenge "winning" just wore off and became meaningless... and i began realizing that i could have done the same thing thinking about my own interests, rather than some other person's opinion, and i could have done it with much less anger and spite.
I'm where i am today because of years of unhealthy motivation... but it also gave me the resources and space i needed to work on the healthier me now.
I don't recommend it... but "Fuck you" can be one powerful motivator.
you dodged a bullet dude, the trash took itself out
this reminds me of adults trying to spite their childhood bullies, at some point you need to give yourself permission to let go and set your own standards, letting go isn't letting them off the hook, it's letting yourself off the hook for feeling guilty about what they did to you
Did she ever try to get you back?
@@sarah3602 Not surprisingly, she went through a very dark period in her life. When you associate with people that hold that kind of view, that's kind of to be expected. What is surprising though is that we actually are on good terms again. We re-connected recently, both very different people, and have become the closest of friends. She called me one night out of the blue about 5 years ago needing someone (really anyone...) to talk to. I really didn't care, but i knew if she didn't leave there she'd probably be dead in a month.
I ended up driving across the country, picked her up with a single suitcase, and dropped her off back in her hometown at her mom's to start over. Over 2 days of driving we let it all out. Just straight venting about all the pain we each carried. With each other, with anything, just uncorked the bottle of emotions and poured it out, past and present.
We talk almost every day now, and are both becoming the people we wanted to be. Once the gloves came off while we shouted and cried on the drive to her mom's place, and we hashed out our beef along the way... the raw unfiltered honesty stayed with our new friendship, and is why we're close once again. It took almost 10 years to get here, and im glad with how things ended up. Nobody understands why I'd ever talk to her again, but that's OK. They have no idea how either of us have changed or how great it is to have someone that knows all your dirty laundry... and i don't really need them to understand either.
So in the end it's a melancholicly happy story, but it took a lot to get there. :)
Anger is useful. It is energy. It creates change. Sorrow just buries us, turns us to sludge. It's not good to live in anger, but if the anger is there and you can harness it like a bucking horse to ride to a destination - any destination better than where you're trapped - do it.
I think if we surveyed people on their true motivations behind everything they do, seldom would you find a person with pure intentions.
Me: I have no fears about being successful
Struth: The more successful you are, the more people hate you
Me: I have one fear about being successful
😂😂😂
😂😂😂
People will always hate you. Untalented, people make fun of you, too talented no one likes you. Dumb, people hate you, too intelligent people hate. Ugly, get teased, too good looking people get jealous. Bottom line is fk people, they are average, 90 iq masses of hateful people. Do you.
😭🤣🤣I relate
I've watched a number of "fear of success" videos because I know that fear is why I procrastinate, but this one hits different. I relate so much to a couple of your points. You have identified exactly where my particular flavour of fear is originating. Now that I know where the problems lay I can address them. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts with us, struthless. You're definitely helping people.
O
Yes, for real...Such a young man to be so insightful ~!
the same here!
It came from your heart. Kudos! Also, you are to enjoy the power of "Now"; before you do more self critique. Every day is a new day and it is certainly different. Therefore, get back to the people who "You" matter to. Be it one person, get in touch and you'd find more success due to the resonating energies. This is called constructive interference. Thanks.
Dr. K (Healty Gamer GG) often asks people, who he interviewes if there was a time when they didn't yet have the problem they're struggling with. And very often when they remember that, they are able to identify key happenings in their life's that caused them to have a specific mindset. I found this profoundly helpful for my own wellbeing, because it helps so well to separate adult me from helpless-child or helpless-young-person me.
are u guys serious??? why isnt anybody here talking about his cutie doggo sleeping beside hiiiimmmm !!!!!
Wtf, how, I only now see the doggo * . * ❤️
Exactlyyyy 😍 so adorbs!!!
Exactly! Cam we want to meet your dog!
Haha, I was like 'awwwwww' 😍and had to rewind as I missed what he said haha. My book arrived in London and am loving it btw!!
i'm here for talking about the doggo
You had me at "I'll move to Guatemala, start a permaculture farm, just live off the land, and chill." Relatable.
Great video as usual. However, in my case my fear of success is more of a "Can I actually handle it?" when it happens and can I keep up with the expectations of the people who actually made me be in that place - fans, clients, viewers. With that stress and when you add a sprinkle of imposter syndrome the cocktail that is created doesn't taste nice and subconsciously I self sabotage myself.
Same here. I hope you can find your way through.
Yesss! I feel the same way! What I've realized, though is that humans can easily adapt to things, because I've been able to do things in the past that didn't seem possible for me to handle, but I was able to pull through anyway! We are probably much stronger and more capable than we think! So I'm starting not to worry too much about the future, because, who knows, I might have gathered enough experience and expertise to successfully handle anything that I may face at that point in the future! I wish you the best!
I’m about to graduate after a long battle of financial and mental crisis, the fact I’m about graduate is considered a success and an image that I am not familiar with myself, I always thought I won’t make it till the end. Seeing this video is such a good timing, especially facing my final exams :) Always loved your videos, always reminding me to take it one step at a time and look at things differently. Thanks, Campbell!
EDIT: I finished my studies and I’m all set for my graduation! Even decided to opt for the ceremony as a testament and celebration that I pulled through. 😭 this was something I initially thought I didn’t deserve to go for.
Congrats!! You got this!!
Congratulations! You got this!
@@louhortonsculpture thank you so much!
@@bridgetteswenson52 thank you so much!
Good luck with your finals!
8:10 As a perfectionist, I really agree with this, as long as you focus on just trying to convey what you mean, it really works wonders, correcting yourself for every minute mistake you make is just gonna leave you stressed and not have the motivation to make the video anymore.
I always suspected I have a “fear of success” but was never sure…and then you just called me out one point after another 😂 thank you
I feel called out too hahaha so spot on
Every time your dog puts his head on the arm of that couch my heart melts a little. 😍
When you spoke about how as soon as you kill the desire to desperately have something, that is when you can actually have that thing, it reminds me of the NZ men's rowing team who recently won gold at the Olympics, they cited pretty much the same thing as one of the major reasons they were able to win the gold medal.
You have any articles about the I looked them up didn’t find anything
*5 things to quit right now:*
*1. Overthinking*
*2. Trying to make everyone happy*
*3. Living in the past*
*4. Worrying*
*5. Doubting yourself*
thank you! your videos have definitely been beyond helpful whenever I get stuck in my own head ^^;
Ayyyye, CypherDen! Fun to see you commenting, I love your drawing style! 😄 Keep up the great work!
Hey, I am not sure if you will see this but I've been watching your videos for a few months. I was in huge denial about how depressed and anxious I really was. Your videos, what you're about etc encouraged me to seek professional help for my mental health. I started antidepressants today so I'm excited for this journey. Your tips did help me gain some control of my life back but I definitely need the extra support of professionals. Thanks so much
Follow therapists on ig, and watch more vids like that on yt, and certainly read more books about healing
Best of luck to you.
We love to see it
@@user-rx7lc1od7w I don't have ig anymore. I just couldn't handle being on that app with poor mental health. I picked up 12 rules for life and I am restarting therapy. Hopefully it goes well
@@josequins9099 thank you, I appreciate it
I freaking love you
Thank you my man!
Just went through the biggest crisis in my life, and I’m totally restarting everything lost my family my friends my fiancé my god and just everything hit the freaking fan and I can’t express how much I needed this all ur other videos
Thank you so so much, I can’t express to You how much even ur style of “chill your Jets dude life is good if You let it”
Just thank you man from the bottom of my heart ❤️❤️❤️
1:35 in and already, this video was a breath of fresh air. your ability to casually and candidly acknowledge your "success crash" whilst reminding us of the "post dip growth" made me breathe a sigh of relief. thank you for reminding me I'm human, these are human feelings and Im no less human (or successful) for experiencing these things too.
congrats on the recent successes and thanks for always keeping it real 🤙
When youre so fearful of success you don't even finish the video just in case it works
The journalling exercise at the end:
1. What do I define as Shallow Success?
2. What do I define as Deep Success?
3. Why do I want Shallow Success?
4. What would Shallow Success mean for my life?
5. What are the negative repercussions of Shallow Success?
6. Why am I scared of them?
7. What would happen if they came true?
8. What do I fear most about Success?
9. How does this relate to my relationship to Deep Success?
10. How Can I heal?
I love this. I was way too attached to my dream of becoming a fitness youtuber and it caused me immense stress so I quit. I pursued something completely different where I wasn’t too bothered about success and achieved that goal in way less time. Love this message - don’t care about the results, focus on the journey (cliche but it’s sooo true)
Very good point! And what is the different thing that you chose?
@@ryazanovaSasha Design :)
Subscribed
That inspires me to actually pursue what I love for the sake of what I truly love. Thank you!
Do you still want to be a fitness youtuber/Are you still working towards becoming a fitness influencer?
*”Success is based off of your willingness to work your butt off no matter what obstacles are in your way.”- David Goggins*
I tried explaining my “fear of success” to my therapist and she was so confused.
“Don’t you mean fear of failure?” She asked. And I just couldn’t provide a reason that made sense to her. You have eloquently articulated what has been rustling around in my brain for years. Thank you 🥰
From México, i'm SO thankful for your videos. I usually Enter to RUclips when i'm on a crisis and don't know what to do. Sometimes i don't Even know how to look for what i need to hear and then booooom the answer. Thanks, you are amazing 🦀
I go through waves of this… I realized it’s a lot of my own definitions of success that define my happiness. Sometimes overlooking small success keeps from reaching big success later. I also have been always told people learn a lot more from failing than from success. Accepting failure is not easy but needed for success
I’ve had a dream to become a famous rapper/musician since something like 5 years back. I always thought it was my destiny. Sadly this dream has brought me a ton of pain and misery. I had a passion and was definitely interested in rap music which is here I started. But over the years I got more and more hungry for that “shallow success” (fame, power, money) and I thereby lost my original interest.
I have thereby felt very miserable whenever I do bad music or no music at all. I’ve been treated badly by some people and my dream always were a way of me to say “f*ck you” to their faces and get the appreciation and approval I wanted. This has become very unhealthy for me over the years. Like I said I’ve been feeling very miserable:(
I still don’t know exactly what to do. I’ve considered a “normal life” a failure since those people won’t be impressed by me.
I know subconsciously that fame and power isn’t gonna make me feel any better in the long run. Ive even imagine getting all that and the just live a peaceful life and “learn my lesson” or whatever. I think if I’m gonna continue to do music it won’t be all for the shallow success. It has stripped me of all my creativity and happiness. I just made an album and yes, there were times where I had fun making the music and stuff, BUT the fear of making bad music controlled the entire project and I therefore always feared rapping bad to the point where I didn’t even wanna rap, since I was afraid of it turning out bad.
The conflict in my head says something like: “Do what makes you happy and only do music whenever you feel like it” “but at the same time I know that success won’t come without a fair bit of grinding, and grinding isn’t always fun.
I’ve been very unsure if I want to pursue this music career or not, since it has brought me all that misery. But at the same time the thought of making it feels like heaven and my revenge.
What to do…
I REALLY resonate with the "Remove the need to be successful".
For example, with my RUclips channel I first made videos and I always thought it had to be perfect for all the wrong reasons (i.e. Success).
Which stressed me out so much... But now I make videos that make me proud (and nothing else) and I enjoy it so much more, get more done, and I feel more fulfilled.
Ofc they are not super successful, but at least I made a video I can say I am proud of and nobody can take that away from me.
Look at that dog in the background. He doesn’t give a f about success. He seems wise.
I had a phase where i was only driven by revenge success and on the outside it was highly effective, until i walked home from a night clubbing and i felt this mixture of guilt, melanchony and nostalgia. I had become an arrogant hustling person full of vanity. That was the last night i had a drink, deleted my ig and stopped grinding 24/7. Now i am much more balanced. However this is not just a good thing. I now associate success with arrogance and started idealising mediocrity as i dont want to be this unlikeable dude i used to be. Needing success is bad but avoiding it is not much better.
I felt it when you said that “it protects your identity”
I’m in therapy and my therapist is helping unpack this so deeply that I’m glad I decided to get help.
Your videos are always a delight. Thanks for sharing!
Love this. I’m a screenwriter, and I constantly battle the fear of success. I just didn’t have a label for it before :)
Damn dude, you hit points in more ways than I could when arguing with my parents about the emerging toxicity of highly-competitive environments I was thrust into and had no choice but to adapt. In a way, my lingering hatred for the situations I was forced to be in and endure fed into my fear of success, that the people I should have support from would suddenly put more unrealistic expectations upon me and that I'd lose my sense of self and drive the more I see achieving something "as a means to an end" rather than something I would unabashedly "live the moment" (basically, the whole being vs living dichotomy).
Innumerable thanks, friend, for bringing this out.
Relaxed energy is the doggo snoozing in the back- I’d like to borrow that energy
A few thoughts:
1) I am lazy and unmotivated. However, I have realised that it is also part of my identity, I have always had an aversion to people perceiving that I am actively trying. At anything. I either want to be seen as doing it without effort, or I don't want to be seen doing it at all.
2) In relation to 'not that good' and comparison. When I think of an idea I like, and I see a similar idea on a popular show, I get disheartened, as I assume my idea will be seen as a unoriginal, a rip-off, plagiarism.
3) I too do not work without a deadline, and I still don't work if the deadline only affects me. If the deadline affects others, I do it. I still leave it to the very last minute, but I do it. Perhaps combining this with doing it for someone else's sake may be the key.
I might even do the journal thing.
Thanks.
Oh man, relaxed energy versus desperate energy...that seriously resonated with me. This entire video was fantastic. Seriously, thank you. Many hugs for the rut you fell into. I'm glad to see you back.
Some of the most accurate but simple advice I heard about success the other day was this, "Honestly, the secret to success in anything is doing it consistently for 10 years"
Thought I’d share with you my little success: I haven’t started drawing yet but I’ve been working on shading/coloring and following your advice of drawing the same thing every day … the last two months, I’ve been shading sugar skulls and I last night I started my 15th sugar skull and I finally noticed that I might have done something that stylistically might be original to me. I feel so blessed that I found your channel cos I had been praying for a “creative partner/mentor/etc. Thank you. You’re a powerful influencer. I appreciate you! ✌🏼
I pre-ordered your book and now have my grubby little mitts on it - it's feckin FANTASTIC! Thanks for writing it and doing these videos too. For most of this video I was nodding my head going 'holeee shit'. I've been sober for 9 years now and your insights really help keep me on track - and that is deep success for me.
“I’m meant to be sober.” That’s a beautiful way of putting it.
This is better than any therapy Ive ever been to, u just understand whats actually going on in so many of our heads. Thank you! 💪
Not liking people who have success is part of the basics for being French. It's a part of me that I don't like, but I can't help it - especially since when I was in college, I built my social identity around failing (at the very least, not doing my best) in order to hang with the cool guys.
I almost never comment on RUclips videos but your advice is the only thing holding me together. everything you say is so helpful, thank you 🙏🏼
This is definitely a 'watch again' video. So much to unpack here. As Always, Thank You for thought provoking content.
Also, you do you, sir. I'm not here to judge - only to learn and grow. Indubitably making a boat load of mistakes along the way. Even at age 67.
I wish you a smooth journey. We will still watch, we will still read your book, and we will still feel the compassion of your soul reaching out to us through our devices.
Whenever you are able to show up - so will we.
Another word for relaxed energy for me would be “contentment”. When you are content, you won’t strive to prove yourself, and no one can pressure you because you’re completely happy and fine where you are. Real insightful Campbell
omg.... every single one of these resonates with me, especially the one that says - it increases the likelihood of getting hate. As a fellow Australian, I really agree when you said people just don't celebrate success here. In Australia, if you're happy that you've made progress and you tell certain people, even in a humble way, they think you're bragging.... (or I could be just hanging with the wrong crowd). I really struggle with not caring what people think, while trying not to become someone who becomes disassociated with emotion...
Cam, I just finished reading your book and I cried reading the end. I love you and your work so much, you are an incredible human being doing important and beautiful things and I am really really thankful for you. Thank you for existing, you are truly amazing and an inspiration. Love you!!! ❤️
I've been having a really hard time. This is seriously helpful stuff. I'm learning that consistency is more important than always being successful.
This is a great video! People with autism and PTSD like me tend to think poorly of themselves, one problem I've always had is thinking "I do not deserve happiness". Because I had a rough childhood. Because I was always sacrificing what I wanted in life for my family whenever there wasn't enough for us all to get what we wanted. I'd rather see my mother or younger siblings happy than get what I want. Now I'm in my early 30s and I'm just sick of taking care of everyone else and never asking about when it's my turn? When do I get to like... want stuff? For myself? I have to basically train myself to think it's OK to go after stuff I want. Being socialized as a girl is also a factor. If you know, you know.
I have been grappling with this exact thing for so long. My ideas live in my head because the success I dream about is much easier to attain there than if I take a chance in reality. It’s so frustrating and exhausting. After watching this I think I can try and take that leap off the edge and take the first step that I’ve been putting off for years. Thank you for this PSA that I really needed to hear ❤️
Why?
1. Shallow Success vs. Deep success @1:35
2. More to gain means more to lose @2:21
3. You're worried people won't have sympathy for you @3:41
4. It doesn't make sense culturally @4:05
5. It increases your likelihood of getting hated @4:26
6. You're scared you just might not be that good @4:54
Strategies:
1. Label stuff @5:50
2. Articulate the timeline @6:04
3. Push through for someone else's sake @6:19
4. Reconnect with what got you excited in the first place @6:53
5. Remove the need to be successful (relaxed energy vs. desperate energy) @7:08
Unhealthy strategies:
1. Remove the choice to be successful @9:23
2. Get revenge success @9:56
Journaling exercises on the Fear of Success:
1. What do I define as shallow success?
2. What do I define as Deep success?
3. Why do I want Shallow Success?
4. What would Shallow Success mean for my life?
5. What are the negative repercussions of Shallow Success?
6. Why am I scared of them?
7. What would happen if they came true?
8. What do I fear most about success?
9. How does this relate to my relationship to Deep Success?
10. How can I heal?
omg struthless this is exactly what is on my mind right now thanks the universe and thank you !! you are the most charming and relatable youtuber and i'm inspired by you a lot! love from china ❤️
i feel so blessed every time you post a video. i quit my office job in September and have been thinking of doing art for a living but the fear that people won't like it is crippling. and here your are with this video!
really like the plan b strategy. I've been most relaxed when i thought hey, i can always go back to my old job if it doesn't work out, i live my colleagues and the job was fine. but i tried to scare off these thoughts cause it felt like I was giving up before even starting?
You articulate this from the heart so eloquently and in a manner that’s so relatable. Thanks for sharing how you’ve processed this with us, it’s definitely helped me! 🙌
Im glad that you call it a Dip and not a Backslide.
Ive only ever heard it as Backslides, and that just sounds so harsh and creates this mental image of retrograde, instead of a forward journey even THROUGH the dips.
Just bought your book man, really love your content as I seem to struggle in a similar fashion to you with being an artist while working and trying to be productive and learn all the skills I need. It seems like no one wants to talk about all the work it takes, physical, intellectual, and emotional, but you dive deep into it. Thanks so much!
“Post crash growth”. Love that phrase. I am so glad I stumbled across you while looking for drawing help. Your honesty is refreshing and inspiring. Thank you!!!
Wow, ‘having money means you can lose money’ whacked me right in the heart.
you addressed a life long trauma i was suffering from my whole life that i had experienced affecting almost every friendship relationship i ever had. i am really grateful for this
The one about buying equipment and stuff is actually so helpful to me. It removes my excuses and then I can't blame anything but myself for not doing something.
I didn't quite realize that this was one of my big problems- plus I find it interesting how I found this the day you posted it which also happens to be my birthday, so thanks for the gift! Also looking forward to reading your book soon. I really appreciate all the work you put into what you do, it's all really interesting and deserves all the success it gets.
Happy birthday ((((:
FINALLY, someone talks about the fear of success! THANK YOU! 🤗
Thank you so much for this! The whole internet goes on and on about the fear or failure and how to overcome it. F*** that!
Man, you got me with reason number 2 the most. That one hurt, so I know it hit the right spot.
I'm not afraid of failure... I see myself as a failure, as an outcast and whenever I start something, as soon as I see progress, as soon as I see I'm good at it, I will self-sabotage even if I don't want to... somehow I still do. And it kills me... But it also gives the "devil on my shoulder" a chance to say: "You see? You can't do/have/be that thing. That's not who you are." And then I look around, see what I've done and... all I can say in return is: "...yeah, I guess you're right. What was I thinking?..........."
The video went from a 10/10 to a 15/10 just by your doggo being there 💜 Also, it's kinda creppy how you always upload a video when I'm about to crash and help me stand up again. Thank you so much 💜💜💜
Always need videos like this from you! I am a singer songwriting trying to produce my own music- but I’ve got ADHD that is yet to be diagnosed (we love a two year waiting list).
You help inspire me to change my way of thinking and you always make me feel heard. Been following you online for years but I subscribed on RUclips for this sort of stuff. Purchased your book for both my sister and I. You’ve got a great head on your shoulders and you’ve helped me make some good changes in my life.
I know you enjoy reading good comments so I thought I’d share my appreciation instead of just watching it this time. Canada has yet to release your book, can’t wait to get it :)
"if i have too much love i'll lose it". I had to pause and just process that for a moment. That is definately a fear that's been lurking in my subconcious. Damn Campbell, you're just dropping insight like that like it's nothing! Congrats on the book. The vunerability in your videos is fucking admirable.
Recovered People-pleaser here! What a waste of my years to try and do what others EXPECT me to do.
Have a corporate job and climb the ladder to then realize I AM ON THE WRONG LADDER
I hated working for a boss, who was I kidding??? Myself.
All I wanted was others to be happy for me and I was burning out!
Fast-forward my life series, I am now traveling the world, living the laptop lifestyle, feeling HAPPY and FREE.
We all have a choice in life and we are responsible for that choice.
Do you choose to live with REGRET or do you choose to live the life YOU WANT?
choice is yours.....
I just preordered your book here in Canada. Such a big fan of these videos, I always feel strangely lighter after watching one. I am working on a graphic novel and I swear battling through my own mental resistance is as much if not more work than actually just doing the drawing/writing itself. Part of me doesn’t even care if it’s good, it just needs to be done, the other part of me will accept nothing less than exactly what I have created in my mind, which is an impossible target to reach since it’s always moving and changing on me. Thanks again for the great content, can’t wait to read your book. PS. I think the fact you are struggling with these things makes you MORE qualified to write about them, not less.
Thank you so much for this video. I just got your book and my spouse has been reading it out loud to me as we sit together. We even do the journalling exercises together. Thank you for your insight and for being such a grounded, loving force. Thank you also for being honest about who you are and when you hit rough patches. You are a tops bloke.
Hi Campbell. This is one of the most concise and well-made vids on the topic.
Too many of us are stuck and have no idea why. Now we know what's going on and how to deal with it.
Keep being awesome!
This was recommended to me this morning and I'm glad I watched it. I'm VERY aware that I am blocking becoming successful in my photography career. This has made me realise I need to figure out what exactly it is in my head and work past it. This video is very helpful, I think I may watch it a few times to drill some of these points into my head.
Man I love your channel, I love you. Thank you for what you do. You are creating such a safe environment, which makes accepting my bad sides not so painful, and really helps to understand what I can do about it. You are a LEGEND!
You have no idea how much your videos help me to get through in life and just overall keep it chill. Thanks mate, from the bottom of my heart.
Dear RUclips,
Please allow people to use a heart, not just a like - success or not, struthy needs loving. A RUclips energy that's not annoying, no claxons, no wobbly shots... just wholesome goodness.
As a creator who did the whole college route, have a 9-5 that gets my basic needs met, but always want more- I want to thank you for the content you produce. I know you may never see this comment, but struthless, your messages are more real and helpful, 9/10, than therapy I have spent 100s on. You are giving struggling "brains" out there hope an a sense of clarity that most aren't offering, and I just really hope you know that the work you do is a service.
You put a voice to struggles I think most of us don't even recognize we are unnecessarily fighting.
Thank you for finding your sobriety, and keep doing the great work you do. I'd hate to think how much harder the path would be for some of us without your messages helping clear the clutter from the mess of living in a brain that needs to make things. you remind us that we aren't alone in this chaotic world.
every time i’m in a rut you pull me out. thank you forever
I used strategy 2 in a loop when I was deep in postnatal depression: I did things to look after my daughter's mother, i.e. me, but I couldn't see the point in doing things for myself. It tricked my brain and got me doing stuff again.
Thanks for sharing your actual journey. Insight, strategy, progress, crash, process it, insight, repeat.
It’s the most helpful thing.
The protecting your identity part and the worried that you won't get sympathy I've heard before and is so spot on! I have had this since childhood. Thank you for reiterating this for me. I believe that getting rescued has been a mind set as an adult that I thought would help me, it has not and I'm working my way through this now. Loving your vids and animations, just found you now and I'm binging, thank you for providing this free info, putting yourself out there and making it so relatable that people may not have found with self help before and thank you for swearing, it makes me relate to you even more 😊
Man I feel everything you said in this video to the bones. Thank you for making it. I’m Stuck in my head again
I just had to write this in the middle of the video. Paused it actually, to write this. Hearing about the possible reasons for my irrational fear of success (and probably my lack of self love/confidence) made me involuntarily tap my forehead with my knuckles like crazy. Then I knew. I finally knew what I was running away from. So thank you. Will watch the latter part for way to face these fears, but in the meantime, I just had to write this down on the comments. The urge to express my feelings in words took me over absolutely. Thank you.
How do you always know EXACTLY the upload I need at any given moment? LOL... I ended up sharing this with a few people, in no small part because the unhealthy coping mechanisms (especially the first one) are basically the things we're already doing, and we KNOW it's not sustainable, but most of us have ADHD and it's the only thing that's worked so far. This video ended up being MASSIVELY helpful as far as how to think of shallow vs deep success & conquering that fear of people hating us if we're too successful. Definitely some food for thought to bring to my next therapy session. :D Thank you for your uploads, and congrats on the book!
Other than the fact that my parents were already divorced when it happened and I only lived with my mom, I went through the exact same story that you shared in this video! Mom's company went bankrupt from stupid decisions, and she got laid off and we ended up losing our house.
The idea of fearing success because the more you have, the more you have to lose, really is eye-opening. You can't know the devastation of losing your home if you never try to obtain one in the first place.
I love how this guy approaches all these videos with so much education and insight, and then relays it with so much empathy and chill. He's learning to forgive himself for being human and asks us to do the same.
Kudos man
Your videos are gold! your entire channel is the best thing that has happened to my brain lately. I’m suffering from a burnout and I just can’t get out of it but your videos helped me so much. Thank you for your content!
This video literally gave me so much clarity about myself. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
The way this resonates with me is unreal. Thank you being genuine and so real. It’s refreshing af. You’re videos always make me feel like I’m okay. Wishing you the best!
I can't help but think that all of your videos are therapy sessions, for real. Each video is a different therapy session, and IT WORKS. Much better than 90% of the therapists in my country, trust me when I say this
You have a real talent for taking complex psychology concepts and reducing down to terms that people can clearly understand. And no pharmaceutical medication required!
Yo man.. I'm an aspiring movie director.. Stuff like that is golden. I hope you truly understand that you put out good quality and thoughtful videos, you bring the tools for us, now we have to use them.
Plz also remember that, energy flows so easily.. Get stressed or put too much hype for a vid and it'll transmit to the camera. You're basically an actor for us in those vids.. So just clear your mind and make sure you love and believe what you say, and you'll make the most loveable vids.. You truly have the insight necessary, the appeal and the will for making those vids. You don't really have that much experience yet but it's okay cuz its just a time related question and it'll only get better.. One thing about experience is that as long as you keep going no matter how hard you fucked up, you'll still learn :)
Anyway, thanks for fresh human "insight", hope you have a nice one pal :)
Not gonna lie, my education system related goals thrive on spite. Like, I know how part of my family thinks and talks of me and most days I'm legitimately doing it for the middle finger in their faces once I have my B.A. and maybe also an M.A.
Dude that relaxed energy one is so true. I make sketches and commentary videos and I've had an exceptionally hard time with coming off as anxious when it's just me and my camera. Actually just yesterday I decided to ditch the lights and office chair and film a commentary on a movie right from my bed, only lit by a lamp, and holy crap man what a WORLD of difference. Editing the footage and I come off so much more authentic and comfortable. I realized this before watching this video but seeing it put into words really solidifies the idea. Well done as always, you never disappoint!
Not me already crying at 1:34 coz I'm so impressed by your brutal honesty
I just thought about my fear of success yesterday, cause it was becoming evident in my recent life events. All these nonsense thought of mine is what is still holding me. Now I got a video of you explaining everything I wanted to hear. Thank you so much. Really loved the video.
Owe... That hurt... In all the good ways. Thank you. You're a beautiful being.
You just made it more clear when you talked about replicating the "deadline feeling". Somehow, I thought about myself on how can I gradually remove my bad habits and I realized that they tend to creep up when I have nothing to do. It feels counterproductive since I am increasing my workload however it helps a lot in not putting myself to a hellhole of doing things that makes me feel guilt or regret after.
This is the most beneficial little punch to the solar plexus I've ever felt. A lot of that resonated with me and with the journaling exercise I uncovered some more. Now I know what to work on, and hopefully I'll manage to come out on top to the point where I genuinely try to give it my all when it comes to the goals I want to achieve. So thank you a thousand times for putting this video together!
Every video I watch of yours
Feels like you are talking specifically to me😳
You totally get it & I think your openness about your own experiences helps people.
THANK YOU
You are so wildly relatable! I love the way you simplify and box up concepts and ideas ☺️ somehow you take the angst and complexity and soften it making it palatable. NICE!🙏
This could have not come at a more appropriate time in my life. Thank you for always creating because you're helping so many understand while creating a community of awesome people!
I needed this. I made a feature film alone. It's not the greatest film ever, objectively speaking, but it's not the worse. I was interviewed in a local newspaper in July because my film was selected to be on a streaming platform, and then I panicked without being aware. I released it this week. I didn't even send it to the distributor yet.
I think I started to recognise a lot of these fears and questions within myself, and think about them and what they mean to me, and how to deal with them.
This video gives the process and understanding such succinct clarity.
Thank You.
Oh my God! Cam! I just got your book! It's amazing! I had expected it to be useful and interesting, and I've been dying for it to come. What I had not expected is how hilarious it is and how I would fall in love with your art work. I love the clever, disingenuous you I see on your videos, but I had no idea that you would be such a brilliant writer. Each page is a visual delight. I want to frame them all. I expect some of your characters to become iconic: everyone will get it when we refer to the YELLING ELEPHANT and the FREAKED OUT RABBIT. There has to be merch now! Posters with quotes, Stuthless illustrated journals where we interact with our Five Bosses and Grumpy Sock-Puppets, and T-shirts! I'll buy the first T-Shirt that says, "A life path isn't a get-out-of-suffering-free card." You did it, Buddy! Your book ROCKS! Thanks for the shout-out to teachers; I've been a middle-school teacher for twenty-seven years, and I can't wait to share some pages with my students. Thank you for your lavish, generous, beautiful book! Thank you for surviving all the hell you did and making yourself a gift to the world. THANK YOU!