Yeah that too! ! This is all so life altering, seeing this big hidden universe of OTHERS with the same mental workings etc.... i have always thought I was super weird
OMG I thought I was the only one! When I was a kid, my parents would buy me sketchbooks because they knew I loved drawing but I always opted to draw on scrap papers instead because I didn't want to waste a good sketchbook just in case my drawings turned out ugly. I always told myself that I'd draw on them once I was good enough and realized to this day, most of my sketchbooks are either untouched or barely halfway drawn on.
Also, the lack of coarse swear words makes me so happy to share this. I'm no language prude, but the lack of expletives really does ameliorate the discourse. It's like wearing a suit before the judge. It doesn't make you more innocent, it just helps the judge rule out visual prejudices. Being edgy is impossible these days; may as well be interesting. Which you absolutely are.
Thank you! Also thanks about the swear words - which is intentional! I think it was Mike Birbiglia or Jerry Seinfeld, but one of them said to try comedy without swearing and see how good you really are. So this is nice to have it recognised 😊😊
@@JoanOfArgghh The lead singer of Linkin Park - Chester once said in an interview that “Hybrid Theory does not follow a trend set up by a lot of other bands in that it doesn't contain any curses or swear words. This was because the band wanted to write lyrics honestly and they thought that unnecessary swear words take away attention from the music." He also said “that it’s harder to write songs by NOT adding in swear words and other bands add them in just to try and sound cooler.” So yes @struthless has got the intricate point across clearly by not taking away attention from the message with swearing. Soo tempting to swear at the end of this comment now😆
@@struthless Good point about the swear words although I didn't even think about it until I read the comments! Anyway I love this video dude great job and your way of speaking is very compeling, there is really a lot of quality on your production overall. I subscribed at one video. peace out!
Extra tip: I learned this from "Atomic Habits" by James Clear. Have you ever realised that almost all the habits you tried to create in the past, like exercising, studying, reading, you don't actually do anymore? Or when you plan to do your assignment but find yourself not doing anything until right before deadline where you spend the whole day doing it? The answer might be procrastination. When trying to build a habit, the 2 minute rule really helps to stop with procrastination. Start with a very simplified version of that habit or in other words, a 2 minute version, then build your way up. You procrastinate doing that assignment because you think it's a hassle to write that 30 paragraph essay. Instead of thinking like that, think that you will just write 1 sentence. When you feel like you can do more, that's the best time to stop. For example: Let's say you want to start going to the gym. The biggest mistake people make, is that they get very motivated and enthusiastic which makes them do their best and try as hard as possible. Then the next day they get a bit lazy, and couldn't do as well as the previous day. Then the next they do the same thing. Then after a month they fully stopped. Instead of going full on 2 hours at the gym, do it for 2 minutes instead. It doesn't necessarily have to be that exact time, the point is that you do a simplified version of the habit. Point is that you master the art of "showing up" itself(this video also said that the most difficult part is to show up). It's not that you can't do it for 2 hours again after doing it for one day, but it's that you don't even show up to the gym because of your procrastination. If you instead just try to first create a habit of showing up to the gym, you would be able to then upgrade that easy habit into something better. Imagine just reading one page of a book. It's not that big of a deal isn't it? You wouldn't procrastinate just reading one page would you? Now imagine doing what you've always done, and try to imagine reading for 3 hours. You would get all lazy and procrastinate right? After getting an inch of motivation, you instantly try to do it for as long and as hard as possible until your motivation fades. So instead of doing that, just read a page until could do it without a second thought. Then try to go for 5 pages, Then 7, Then 10, and so on. Finally, you would reach your previous attempt to read for hours in a day but this time you would not procrastinate at all. One more thing, there is also something called a "Habit Tracker" that I learned from that book. Get a calendar, and circle the date if you did your habit you were going for that day. Try to get as long of a streak as possible. Missing one day is fine, but don't EVER miss 2 days in a row. IMPORTANT NOTE: You can circle it even if you just, let's say, read a paragraph from a book. Or just doing one pushup. Point is that you make yourself think the habit is easy to do, and you do it everyday.
Reminds me of that one quote from Bojack Horseman... "It gets easier. Every day, it gets a little easier. But you gotta do it every day. That's the hard part. But it does get easier."
@Isabelle Gomez well for example, let's say you want to read books. If you read even just one page today, you circle today on the calendar. If you read again tommorow, you circle that day again on the calendar. Just try to get as long of a streak as possible because seeing it directly makes us not want to break the streak of that reading everyday
This dude really just read me like a book. I never thought my perfectionism and 'I give up' behavior were linked, I always just thought it was weird since they're like opposites of each other. On one hand I want to complete something perfectly or I"ll feel terrible and worthless but then I also never feel like it'll be good enough so I just don't do anything or give up early on
@@beatsg i swear to god... i ruined my past 3 years of life with this shit. It's so draining and dissapointing. Feels like i am forever stuck in this circle.
Same. I'm filled with so much shame day to day, mostly coming from my prolonged lack of expression since the late 2000s and my failure to be able to show the best of myself to my fans.
yeah. i'm seriously struggling. thought i was getting better, but i took like four steps back recently and i'm hoping this video reminds me of something good or worthwhile. hope life gets better for you, dude.
Not a problem, just a coming home. Feel. Question it. Feel again, know that it will be better. Give yourself time. Choking is because you, Strutless, all on here, I, are part of that family.
I hate it when people are so gutted when they do something their parents wouldn’t approve of but like you shouldn’t be living your life for others you should live it doing what you want to do. Its sad really
So needed to hear this as a chronic perfectionist. I've wasted years turning ideas over and over in my head when I could have been acting on them. Such a waste... can't do that anymore.
Great insights. I tell my kids “done is better than perfect” particularly when it comes to schoolwork. Getting 0% because you didn’t turn in an assignment really sets you back. When it comes to art and music, the process can be the reward. Imperfections are often interesting and beautiful. But if you’re a perfectionist, it’s tough to change your mindset. I really enjoyed your video!
I recently heard “ you’re not a procrastinator, you have developed the HABIT of procrastination.” That was my a-ha moment !! Because I know I can change a habit.
For anyone that might be interested in this, from my memory it was stated by Mel Robbins in the approach of her, "5, 4, 3, 2, 1 Method". It's absolutely wonderful work to look into and it may be the kick that someone needs to be able to break the habit of procrastination!
Eh, I wish my brain worked that way. Mostly because if I do it, and it turns out poorly, then I never try it again, because it's obvious I don't have any natural talent in that particular subject, and the work and time spent to develop my awful skills would be better spent on things I'm already good at
You've obviously never been online LOL.. Trying being less than perfectly PC on youtube and see how that flies. Just one racist comment, even in humor, will end you.
As someone trying to replace my addiction to drugs with an addiction to art, you are my favorite channel. I have felt like every artist on RUclips expresses their daily life as a calm artistic bubble, while you discuss actual challenges many others may have gone through and empathize greatly. You’re awesome bro.
Your videos are telling me basic stuff I feel I could’ve learned in elementary school but here I am sitting 20 years later feeling enlightened af by your basic 70% rule.
@@pentabump Surely, SURELY.. the partial "all caps" and tone of the comment was very clearly dripping with sarcasm and jest. No? I have to actually explain what a joke is? Right. That was a joke. Your heart is in the right place. But you misread the situation.
"Laziness is not the cause of procrastination. Fear of failure is." I've known this in my bones for a few years, but it's so hard to get past that struggle. I try to tell myself that it doesn't matter what I'm doing or why, so long as I'm doing it. An eye-opening video. Thank you for your thoughts.
"Your body of work is only as good as the projects you finish." Holy crap I felt that! Thank you for another clearly explained, paradigm shifting, really helpful video.
I’ve seen perfectionism take over myself and in other people as well. When I was younger I’ve never thought about perfectionism being a bad thing except it has caused so much stress for me in the past before. Wanting to get the highest grades in the class. A perfect test score. It drove me crazy. 🙁
This made me think of a joke my dad would always tell me if I was getting too hard on myself: what do you call someone who graduated medical school last in their class? ... Doctor
Goddamn, man. I recognized myself in each and every points you made. Being like this is nothing but torture and self-disappointment. This video helps a lot, thank you. I drew a big 75 on a piece of paper and I put it on the wall where I can see it at all times. I'll try to live with this as my new motto (well, at least 75% of the time).
The most powerful thing I have done around my perfectionism is shifting my mindset. Instead of viewing the track in my head that always pointing out my mistakes as bad, it's the helpful voice in my head that tells me how I can improve. From that view, I have a better ability than most to learn from my project, work, experience, whatever. Now, my "perfectionism" is a strength.
THE 70% RULE WORKED. CAN YOU BELIEVE IT. I HAD TO WRITE AN ESSAY, AND I WANTED TO WRITE THE BEST EVER ESSAY BUT I COULDN'T GET STARTED. THE 70% RULE WORKED.
I can't stop crying. I couldn't have found this at a more fitting time. I've managed to procrastinate for years in something I'm extremely passionate about... And when he said that procrastination comes from shame and that my work is not my worth something kinda broke inside of me... I was gonna write a longer story for this but who cares in the end... This just hit too hard
I’d love to hear it. I have the same problem with procrastination things I’m actually passionate about to the point where I question my passions. I’ve lost a lot of creative years and almost lost my secondary education because of this anxiety. I’m gonna give this 70% rule a go.
I'll tell my story if it's to encourage anyone else in telling theirs. If not then I guess it may be something to relate to but it's pretty short and simple. I have been wanting to write and create my own music for 6 years. I have actually completed 1 song in that time due to fear of failure and not being good enough. I'm only 21, so I still have time but I've always felt behind cause a lot of people I know around me at my age and mainly younger is starting a business, or starting a family, or buying a house or has a good job etc. I'm still staying with my parents. I don't have a job. I don't have a significant other. I feel incredibly worthless because I've spent the last 6 years just living in fear. But fear of what exactly? Criticism? I invite criticism to improve. My issue is I don't create to be critiqued to see that improvement.
The Quantity leads to Quality thing...I've never looked at it from that perspective! Eye-opening! Really love your channel and just pre-ordered the book, can't wait to get it - even though I would rather have an audio book, cause I love the Aussie accent. :D
Reminds me of a quote from Willie Nelson when asked how he wrote so many great songs. He said 'Well, I wrote thousands of songs. A few of them were bound to be good'.
I feel like most artists suffer from either perfectionism or imposter syndrome. Amanda Palmer’s book The Art of Asking helped me with imposter syndrome, she calls I the fraud police. Amazing book. Great video, I appreciate your motivation to help motivate others. Inspiring people is an act of service, I hope everyone benefits from.
You probably don’t read too many of your comments on your old videos anymore, but on the off chance you do see this, I just wanted to say, as a random fellow human walking around and living on the other side of the planet, YOU’RE A TREASURE! You put into words so many of the things I struggle with and many of your suggestions and insights feel like the long lost keys to parts of my mind that I’ve long since given up on trying to unlock. The work you’re doing here is SO important and I want to thank you for all the effort and care you put into these videos. It means so much more than you could ever possibly imagine. Thank you!
I'm very happy for the experience that you got from this video, it was the same for me! Your comment is so so nice. Good luck with anything that you do 🫶🏼
Bruh, I can't even get out bed because I'm too worried about how I'll fuck up getting from my bed to the stairs and into the kitchen. I didn't get out bed until 6:30 today and spent the entire day setting up the "perfect" workspace for writing an essay.
@@ChrisD__ Nah bro that definitely sound ocd like. You have been kept from participating in your daily life by your need to have a “perfect” workspace. Im very uptight and have ocd “like” features but i dont HAVE to do them. I am no doctor and i know it might be scary to have it confirmed to you. To know something is wrong with you(me with anxiety). But i think it might be worth looking into man. God bless and good luck.
I identify with the perfect blank piece of paper so much. I have a stack of unused notebooks almost as high as my knee because they're too nice for my invaluable thoughts. I'm still a teenager (just) and I hate to imagine where I'll be in a couple of years if I don't start using them. Thanks for tackling this topic in a more meaningful way then 'just start'
I sew. A lot. My friends sew, my family sew....the hardest part of any sewing project is taking the scissors and actually cutting into that big perfect length of fabric. 🙄
Omg same, I always buy new notebooks because I find them pretty and then I just don't use them because they are to nice and I don't want to ruin them. So I figured it out, now I buy 2 notebooks that are the same and relax myself by telling that if this one isn't going to be perfect so I always have the another one, and then I really like the result and keep it, and have another notebook that isn't used, so I can stay relaxed.
My rule is "aim to learn something instead of perfection" when doing my own thing. Learning can only happen when making mistakes. Just think Art is not Surgery.
If you ever watch those real life surgery shows you'll also realize that surgery is more art than science, LOL 😋. How they just hack away to open someone's chest or do a nose job etc.
@@bellairene9023 it basically means that even if you have the best skills, knowledge, or experience, people aren't gonna know about it or recognize those wonderful qualities unless you show them. So, when you finish a project, that's when you can be known and recognized. Basically what that quote means.
Thank you so much for this. I have recently realised I am a perfectionist and it has stopped me from starting or continuing with so many projects in my life. I have not drawn for over 20 years, because I was scared of not being “perfect”. A few weeks ago I started to draw and restarted the same picture 4 times! I watched your video and it made me look at myself and my work in a different light. Thanks to you, I finally sat down, started and finished a picture. It’s not perfect by any means but it’s finished and I have learned so much about where I need to improve. For the first time I am proud of something that isn’t perfect and it’s encouraged me to continue.
You understand me more than most people in my life ever have! I spend far too long deliberating over every decision in my life, which really zaps my leisure time (that I don't allow myself to have unless I finish those ToDo's). The hardest part is that even if I spend far too many hours researching to make a decision or tweaking what I wrote, when the result is imperfect I berate myself for not taking more time to make a better choice... when in reality, the other choices were just as (if not more) flawed.
The wall behind him is a visual proof of him being a perfectionist. The wall, supposedly dotted randomly, yet when you pay attention, you see every color is carefully placed perfectly like different gas molecules perfectly diffused in air.
I used to wonder why and how the hell anyone could take on inktober variations because the thought of making a Good Drawing every day for a MONTH was crazy. I usually spend at least 2 hours a day for 4 days making just one drawing, and even that doesn't turn out very good. It seemed like the most inefficient thing ever. Who knew the solution was to just make more drawings even if they're bad.
Just a way i use is not to judge my drawings as GOOD or BAD . They are just drawings ! i don't draw to show off , or to have a very nice drawing , but because i REALLY love to draw . "good" ones may come along the way . but i'm equally as happy with the "bad" ones ! and remember : Failure is a sign that shows you're trying . Hope this helps .
when you said : aim for 70% I felt shook, I can't imagine that, it sounds so mediocre and so complacent and so... repulsive. I know I'll try it because 70% perfect, is better than 100% unhappy, or 0% accomplished, that's how 4 decades of my life have gone. But it hurts.
Funny how this applies to other things in life too; I have real bad anxiety to go outside and do certain stuff (groceries, picking up my meds, go to appointments etc) and because I was too scared to do it myself (and I was afraid to fail) I always let someone else do it.. But today, for the first time in weeks (and with a calming tablet lol) Ive managed to pick up my own meds ( my mom drove me there since Im not alowed to drive with those meds) at first I was so frustrated it didn't go "perfect" since I was shaking and still really nervous whilst being there.. but after I came home my sister showed me this video and I realised I actually did really well; it was easily over 70%, so why should I be disappointed?? Im so happy I managed to go outside, go all the way to the pharmasist and even picked up my own meds.. this way of thinking really helps with the healing proces and makes me realise I shouldnt be so hard on myself if it didn't go 100%.. I will always have bad days.. but I should be really proud of myself when I achive something hard, even if it didn't go "perfect".. and remember those better days Edit: I never expected so many kind reactions.. thank you all so much! :)
It's nice to hear that, it's such a small thing but has a very positive impact on the body and mind imo. It may stress you out at that moment but thinking back at the achievement compensates for that. I completely understand your situation as I have been in a very similar one a while back, but looking at it now I see that the more I let other people do things for me the more I let myself be comfortable with not doing it which only leads to sinking deeper and deeper into anxiety, depression, or whatever is stopping a person. As soon as I did a few things of the same importance as you mentioned(seemingly small for an outsider, but huge for you) I started to realize this and over time it actually helped me because with that I also realized no one can ever help me as much as I can help myself❤️ I know it may not be completely related to what you said but someone may read this and get something helpful out of it
Diminishing returns - a concept that I had to learn the hard way, but it is key to know that not every next effort will bring the same results. The distinctions of diminishing-returns efforts only come to light when the competition is isolated to the top performers.
It’s a common misconception that perfectionists actually end up doing amazing job. Even if or when we do, it’s still at expense of our well being. For me it’s giving up on my health, sleep, etc. So, generally speaking, the job is not done perfectly with such corresponding consequences.
Thank you so much for this! I have put off many things in my life because i built them up to be so big in my mind. But thankfully I’m in a creative streak and getting better at throwing the perfectionism out the window. I’ll be sure to use your tips as well. One thing that has helped me is playing a mental trick on myself where I say “it’s just a rough draft” but really it’s the actual project. I made one of my favorite songs this way lol
only three minutes in and 'your worth is not determined by what you accomplish' shook me to my core wew we're in for some trauma unpacking today fellas
I can't agree with that, though. Everything I've seen and experienced has shown me that (as a man) if you're useless, you won't garner respect, and therefore will be seen with less value than those around you. You'll be like a pet; maybe liked (as you're inoffensive), but not held in any esteem and won't be actively missed.
@@sirnonapplicable Nah dude, those sound like bad friends. My friends value my worth based on me as a person, not achievements, be weird as shit if they did honestly. Besides, the bar for achievements is individual. If you're depressed as fuck, getting out of bed is an achievement. If you came from an abusive house and you break the cycle of abuse, that's an achievement. Who gives a shit about a piece of paper that cost you 5 years of your life and gives you lifelong debt. It's not like it gives you a leg up anymore. We aren't all doctors or rocket scientists and that's alright. Stop comparing yourself to other people and look at where you started compared to where you are now man. Any progress is still progress. And seriously, find some better friends who don't make you feel like trash.
@@sirnonapplicable Man, there's good potential SO's out there for you too. Keep looking. The ones who are worth anything aren't going to only value you for your achievements. Ideally your SO should be one of your best friends imo. Try aiming more for making friends with similar interests and then if it turns into more, awesome! If not, you made a friend. I feel like going into it only looking for a partner is a rough way to go about things and puts a lot of pressure on the whole situation.
I really needed this. I failed my whole semester all because I was trying to perfect them to the tea and I ended up missing the submission date all coz I was so caught up in perfecting my assignments. Thank goodness I have a chance to redeem myself before the academic year starts in Feb to resubmit those assignments. I'm definitely going to remember the 70% rule. thank you =)
4:22 Yes you should make it most definitely! Brother you are changing lives and giving us the wisdom we didn’t know we needed. Keep up the work it’s absolutely amazing!!!
I know it sounds dumb, but im kinda afraid of giving up on my perfectionism... im scared of becoming too forgiving and lazy with myself and my work. I know it doesnt work like that, but it just the fear of the kind of failure and shame that perfectionism is protecting me from. It makes no sense, and i hate it, maybe the shame and hate will slowly melt away with years
It doesn't sound dumb. It's exactly what he's talking about. You're gonna have to decide if it's more important to you to live like this or to...to put it frankly...get over it.
It's just the brain. Bc the brain work math. Your Feelings are not there lokated. That's what it is to remember. Your Brain can only tell you that you where lazy wenn he saw it.(delay) The Brain trys to catch up Time that is already gone.... afterwords you can say 'damn that was lazy'. NEXT 'I did not like that lazy result'... NEXT: you will not do it again that way... that's learning.... learning by doing. Perfection is'nt real.... until you make it....
Recovering perfectionist here, and while I do have days of "oh my god, I've become the laziest person in the world *internal panic*" the reality is that I'm achieving as much (if not more) than I was before. I'm just not making myself sick doing it. Being able to zoom out and look at my collection of work (I make astrology, mental health, and anti-capitalist zines and am hoping to make videos eventually), rather than the micro-pieces of the work really helps. And yes, time heals the hell out of perfectionism! I hope you get some space/time/grace to put the shame down and make some neat stuff (to the 70% mark) soon!
It will Anni, it will. It's what I wanted to answer. Time does make you milder on yourself. Plus, you're never a failure or lazy. It's your mind making you. You can't make that little voice shut up all the time but you do can prove it wrong. With being happy.
Oh my gosh this is exactly what I needed! You are an amazing content creator because this video included many different types of visual aids and examples to help my brain stay engaged and understand, and you have a fabulous, down to earth, unique and admirable personality. AND now I feel like I have a solid, shiny new tool that could be life saving in grad school! Thank you for making thiiiiis!
This hits deep. My parents always said don't ever do anything "half ass" so my mind won't let me get away with doing anything without being extremely thorough. It's time consuming and exhausting and makes me not even wanna START anything cuz I know perfection isn't possible and I won't be happy with it if it isn't so....its definitely a burden. Thanks man, this is the clarity I've been begging for.
I found your book through a Reddit comment and I've spent the weekend binging your videos. Thank you from the bottom of my little Romanian heart for the very solid advice and techniques I can use myself and recommend to my patients. Massive respect and thank you for using the power of metaphors to connect with us and us with ourselves. Cheers!
- "Goes to a new restaurant after studying the menu online for at least 30min" "After eating, thinks that maybe I should've chosen dish X" - "Spends hours browsing for art supplies and reading reviews because you want the best supplies" - "Spends hours on producing a drawing, scans it in and edits it digitally for hours, prints it out and traces it onto the chosen paper and then spends hours on re-drawing it and refining it" "Has at least 2-5 drafts of the same drawing" List goes on. Problem is, I don't really know what causes my perfectionism. My mum is kind of the same way. It doesn't reflect so heavily on day-to-day life but when it comes to creating something or relationships with other people, we tend to have very high standards. It's exhausting.
This video is the video I’ve needed my whole life. I’m going to watch it every morning this week and hope it sticks. Thank you so much!!! So happy this is free
Thank you Struthless for this video! I feel like I've needed to hear this for way too long. I love the quality of your videos and the research that goes into them, it makes it such a pleasure to learn and grow. Thank you for sharing your personal experiences and struggles to help everyone relate and find hope to be better and do better. Your videos do that for me. 🙏🏻
I’m so glad I found your videos! Just wanted to let you know you’re doing an amazing job and your videos have been helping me more than any therapy in real life 🥺 Thank you and keep up the good work~ ☺️
I was actually really anxious to click on this video in case I couldn't watch it perfectly enough. I'm going to try and persevere and watch it through. I normally cut experiences off early from fear, including watching videos. I'm worried about writing this comment for the same reason. But here I go, I think it's good enough.
Guys, I've been dealing with mental health issues my whole life but you are still young and don't have to live this way. There are so many options out there for help. Find a professional and talk to them about these issues. You are NOT alone. Join a Facebook or Insta group where you can speak with other people that are struggling. Please do it before things get worse. There's a better way to live with or without anxiety and or depression or your particular demons. Take care of yourselves.
@@Glim246 well, I personally cant get professional help simply because it isn't accessible to me and honestly it the systems fault..and I am simply entering adulthood with the build up of years of trauma.. I guess the only way was to deal with it myself.
Agree with the idea of looking for professional help to figure out what's underlying these issues. For me, it turns out to be ADHD, which I got diagnosed with this summer, just before my 50th birthday! But if formal assessment isn't available to you right now, keep reading and learning bc self-assessment can be very helpful! Follow people on social media - for suspected ADHD, that includes people like How to ADHD, Dani Donovan, ADHD Alien, and Black Girl Lost Keys. By the time I got diagnosed I was already sure of what was going on, and was already applying strategies to overcome my limitations.
This video is probably the best I've seen on RUclips so far. I'm on to fight my problems, and it seems like it all comes from perfectionism. Thank you so much! Yes I cried during this video
'understanding that perfectionism comes from shame'. Had to pause and go back to digest it properly. You said it so fast, like it's so obvious... but honestly that's an insane insight.
Same here. I've read a lot of stuff about perfectionism to try and get my head around it and feel like I've made progress in some ways but this feels like the magic bullet that gets to the bottom of the problem. Sobering but grateful for it!
Dude, you’ve changed my life. I mean unironically not just this video but your channel in general, it’s helping me so much. You have this way of explaining things thats just [chef’s kiss] its simple its straight to the point it’s structured and it just speaks to me. I found your channel not too long ago actually, I guess at the right time in my life where I’m done feeling like shit and being shitty and I’m also done pretending it’ll get better by itself eventually and I should just abuse substances to endure life in the meantime, and I feel like you’ve given me some tools to actually do something about it. I dont wanna be like dauntingly putting responsibilities on you or anything from this comment, it’s just that the level headedness and honesty you put in here is reaching me somewhere deep, as a fellow perfectionist procrastinating artist with a loaded past and a complex about a lack of hair. Also the prod and post prod here is amazing yo the art the pacing the music the script damn. keep doing what your doing, for yourself most importantly, and for the people like me you’re reaching, cause I swear your advice has helped me so much in understanding what I’ve been doing wrong, what really it is I’m trying to do, and how I should go about it. also I’ve typed probably 20 comments on your vids in the past and idk if I’ve even posted one cause it’s never The Perfect Comment encapsulating everything I mean with the perfect intonation, but damn it you’re right if I want to get a message delivered I gotta actually send it even if its just 70% of the perfect concept I have in mind.
Dude!!! Man this comment means so much to me. Also, was having a low as day and this was a really really nice pick me up. Thank you for everything you said 💞💞💞
Same! I think it’s also his relatability that makes me listen to him. He’s vulnerable. I see him also struggling. So I can trust this guy. He’s cool but approachable. Also I mean the videos are freakin beautiful.
I feel this too! wow this has helped so much, and also seeing the comments and seeing we're all in the same boat. Love one another, be kind and make art
This is so spot on. Thank you for the suggestions! I can't even count how many unfinished projects remain unfinished for the very reasons you explained. Excellent content!
Suga from BTS once said (and this is a translation): "You can only evaluate something once you look back when it's over." I've started noticing this recently too, where I need to take a few days away from a project when I feel like it's done or when I get frustrated that it's not going great, and when I come back to it, I often realise that it's not as bad as I thought. Or I see where the problems are more clearly. But taking that time away is so hard. And just getting started is hard too, but it's something you have to practice (me @ myself here too). I like the 70% rule. It takes away a lot of pressure if you can commit to it.
Brilliant! You said once "Thinking about it is NOT the same as doing it!" That phrase has often helped me reason through my perfectionism-fueled-procrastination. I brought up perfectionism yesterday in a video - and this really is timely for me. Thank you!
1 + 1 = 1 'Thinking is not doing.' + 'Doing nothing is not thinking' = ZEN In other words... if you want to ride a bike, you have to stop thinking about how it works... we don't have to understand life... it's already on (air)... let's go out there and have some fun! 🤪
Perfection is a Process of Perpetual imProvement. It would be a serious flaw to not leave room for ever greater accomplishments. The more we know --- the more we realize that there is to know ...
Hey man, you're great! Thank you for this boost, much needed as I'm in the middle end of completing a query & synopsis. Sending goodness from Brooklyn.
I needed to watch this so much. I'm in the worst writer's block I've ever had. Even though I write so much, every paper and essay I present always receives so many compliments, but every single time I have to write something from scratch it gives me so much anxiety that I just can't do it. I feel so ashamed to even imagine letting someone read it, that I keep creating excuses to just never start. But today, with your video, I said to myself "omg, just sit down and fucking write something, not thinking about it, not judging, just write", and that's what I did and it worked :)
Omg everytime I make 4 or 5 sentences I always try and perfect the wording and grammar then spend an hour trying to perfect it then the cycle goes on 😭
I have been struggling with this lately and I found it really helpful to reach out to my professor, advisor and therapist. I felt better after receiving feedback from them on how to make the process less daunting.
I've heard of the 80/20 rule before. It's about the fact that 80% of the work costs 20% of the energy and the last 20% to make it perfect will cost you 80% of your energy. Now, I'm an absolute perfectionist and haven't taken these thoughts by hart yet. But I'm gonna try to remind myself of this more. Thanks
I already have subconsciously been doing this with school work without even realizing it, and I’m really excited now to see what I can do outside of school with this mindset. There are so many things I just haven’t started working on because I want them to be perfect, but now this makes following through and doing them actually obtainable. Thank you for this
I've struggled with this for a short period of time. And according to your logic, I'm actually having a 1% rule. I just start whatever I have on my mind and go from there. I don't try to assess if it's a good idea and I consider the whole process to be a huge mess anyway, that I try to save somehow. As you said yourself, starting is the hardest. So by having no expectations before starting, you can't mess up, as you already expect to mess up (does that make sense?) My motto is "don't think, just do and critically assess when it's done"
So true..I've been struggling with procrastination, perfection and distractions for a while now and it's just slowed my work process down. Anyway I just told myself lastnight to just do it without thinking. Think afterwards 🙈 just get it done. I just i need to get 4 more thumbnail sketches done for my clients book and that's it. That's what I'm doing today after my workout without thinking. The pressure and feeling overwhelming is less daunting when I think about it in that way.. so yea.. I'm going to get started in the next 2 hrs from now.🤞🏽🙏🏽
@@Unukadesign LOL. If my barrier to entry was 1% and I chased every idea that came to me, I'd literally never finish anything because I have so many new ideas every day while I'm working on whatever I'm working on. But yeah, it is super helpful to just start and not try to worry too much about whether it'll be amazing, or whether it'll work out.
I was here for the are lol...but didn't look at his teeth once, had to go look. I had to listen and not look the background was killing me with his shirt ahahhaha
Hey! Just came across your channel yesterday and love it!! This process is so helpful and i see many people self-sabotaging and I have done so too. Thank you for making this!!
I never thought I was a perfectionist because i assumed perfectionists were perfect, and I never finished anything perfectly. I now see that's exactly what a perfectionist would think. Oh boy.
Кино
My best sketches were made on scrap paper, because I didn't want to ruin a good sheet.
Yeah that too!
! This is all so life altering, seeing this big hidden universe of OTHERS with the same mental workings etc.... i have always thought I was super weird
OMG I thought I was the only one!
When I was a kid, my parents would buy me sketchbooks because they knew I loved drawing but I always opted to draw on scrap papers instead because I didn't want to waste a good sketchbook just in case my drawings turned out ugly. I always told myself that I'd draw on them once I was good enough and realized to this day, most of my sketchbooks are either untouched or barely halfway drawn on.
dude. same
Same here, but I'm not a very good artist anyway soo...
@@ninakim9832 this!!!!!!!!!!!
"Perfectionism is not the way; it is in the way." Merchandise this. It's awesome.
Also, the lack of coarse swear words makes me so happy to share this. I'm no language prude, but the lack of expletives really does ameliorate the discourse. It's like wearing a suit before the judge. It doesn't make you more innocent, it just helps the judge rule out visual prejudices. Being edgy is impossible these days; may as well be interesting. Which you absolutely are.
Thank you! Also thanks about the swear words - which is intentional! I think it was Mike Birbiglia or Jerry Seinfeld, but one of them said to try comedy without swearing and see how good you really are. So this is nice to have it recognised 😊😊
Yep, much easier to share w/o swear words, thank you!
@@JoanOfArgghh The lead singer of Linkin Park - Chester once said in an interview that “Hybrid Theory does not follow a trend set up by a lot of other bands in that it doesn't contain any curses or swear words. This was because the band wanted to write lyrics honestly and they thought that unnecessary swear words take away attention from the music." He also said “that it’s harder to write songs by NOT adding in swear words and other bands add them in just to try and sound cooler.” So yes @struthless has got the intricate point across clearly by not taking away attention from the message with swearing. Soo tempting to swear at the end of this comment now😆
@@struthless Good point about the swear words although I didn't even think about it until I read the comments! Anyway I love this video dude great job and your way of speaking is very compeling, there is really a lot of quality on your production overall. I subscribed at one video. peace out!
Extra tip:
I learned this from "Atomic Habits" by James Clear.
Have you ever realised that almost all the habits you tried to create in the past, like exercising, studying, reading, you don't actually do anymore? Or when you plan to do your assignment but find yourself not doing anything until right before deadline where you spend the whole day doing it? The answer might be procrastination.
When trying to build a habit, the 2 minute rule really helps to stop with procrastination. Start with a very simplified version of that habit or in other words, a 2 minute version, then build your way up. You procrastinate doing that assignment because you think it's a hassle to write that 30 paragraph essay. Instead of thinking like that, think that you will just write 1 sentence. When you feel like you can do more, that's the best time to stop.
For example: Let's say you want to start going to the gym. The biggest mistake people make, is that they get very motivated and enthusiastic which makes them do their best and try as hard as possible. Then the next day they get a bit lazy, and couldn't do as well as the previous day. Then the next they do the same thing. Then after a month they fully stopped.
Instead of going full on 2 hours at the gym, do it for 2 minutes instead. It doesn't necessarily have to be that exact time, the point is that you do a simplified version of the habit. Point is that you master the art of "showing up" itself(this video also said that the most difficult part is to show up). It's not that you can't do it for 2 hours again after doing it for one day, but it's that you don't even show up to the gym because of your procrastination. If you instead just try to first create a habit of showing up to the gym, you would be able to then upgrade that easy habit into something better.
Imagine just reading one page of a book. It's not that big of a deal isn't it? You wouldn't procrastinate just reading one page would you? Now imagine doing what you've always done, and try to imagine reading for 3 hours. You would get all lazy and procrastinate right? After getting an inch of motivation, you instantly try to do it for as long and as hard as possible until your motivation fades. So instead of doing that, just read a page until could do it without a second thought. Then try to go for 5 pages, Then 7, Then 10, and so on. Finally, you would reach your previous attempt to read for hours in a day but this time you would not procrastinate at all.
One more thing, there is also something called a "Habit Tracker" that I learned from that book.
Get a calendar, and circle the date if you did your habit you were going for that day. Try to get as long of a streak as possible. Missing one day is fine, but don't EVER miss 2 days in a row.
IMPORTANT NOTE: You can circle it even if you just, let's say, read a paragraph from a book. Or just doing one pushup. Point is that you make yourself think the habit is easy to do, and you do it everyday.
Was that an entire Matt D’Avela script? ;)
Thank you, man. I'm gonna download that book right now. :3
Reminds me of that one quote from Bojack Horseman... "It gets easier. Every day, it gets a little easier. But you gotta do it every day. That's the hard part. But it does get easier."
Yeah since I read this book it's been half a year and I still haven't missed a day of reading books
@Isabelle Gomez well for example, let's say you want to read books. If you read even just one page today, you circle today on the calendar. If you read again tommorow, you circle that day again on the calendar. Just try to get as long of a streak as possible because seeing it directly makes us not want to break the streak of that reading everyday
This dude really just read me like a book. I never thought my perfectionism and 'I give up' behavior were linked, I always just thought it was weird since they're like opposites of each other. On one hand I want to complete something perfectly or I"ll feel terrible and worthless but then I also never feel like it'll be good enough so I just don't do anything or give up early on
100%!!!
ouch
Its called Perfective Procrastination.
@@beatsg i swear to god... i ruined my past 3 years of life with this shit. It's so draining and dissapointing. Feels like i am forever stuck in this circle.
@@dobrilakaradzic5907 I feel like I've ruined my past 10-15 so I mean, you're doing better than me.
“Perfectionism comes from shame” My whole life makes since now.
Μood sis
This hit hard
Sending love your way. I've been through the same
Same. I'm filled with so much shame day to day, mostly coming from my prolonged lack of expression since the late 2000s and my failure to be able to show the best of myself to my fans.
Saaaame
You know you've got a problem when you choke up as he says "Your worth is not defined by your accomplishments".
This 😂
yeah. i'm seriously struggling. thought i was getting better, but i took like four steps back recently and i'm hoping this video reminds me of something good or worthwhile. hope life gets better for you, dude.
Not a problem, just a coming home. Feel. Question it. Feel again, know that it will be better. Give yourself time. Choking is because you, Strutless, all on here, I, are part of that family.
You guys are the sweetest, thank you so much
I hate it when people are so gutted when they do something their parents wouldn’t approve of but like you shouldn’t be living your life for others you should live it doing what you want to do. Its sad really
So needed to hear this as a chronic perfectionist. I've wasted years turning ideas over and over in my head when I could have been acting on them. Such a waste... can't do that anymore.
This video is a blessing to me. I'm a serious victim too
samee
Great insights. I tell my kids “done is better than perfect” particularly when it comes to schoolwork. Getting 0% because you didn’t turn in an assignment really sets you back. When it comes to art and music, the process can be the reward. Imperfections are often interesting and beautiful. But if you’re a perfectionist, it’s tough to change your mindset. I really enjoyed your video!
Nice practice. My father used to say "do it well or don't do it at all" now I'm a perfectionist who don't do things 💀
I recently heard “ you’re not a procrastinator, you have developed the HABIT of procrastination.” That was my a-ha moment !! Because I know I can change a habit.
This was a nice one! I will keep this in mind.
Thank you for sharing. I NEED to hear that.
For anyone that might be interested in this, from my memory it was stated by Mel Robbins in the approach of her, "5, 4, 3, 2, 1 Method". It's absolutely wonderful work to look into and it may be the kick that someone needs to be able to break the habit of procrastination!
@@maniacallyhappy what was stated?
Thank you!
I’ve always heard “everything worth doing is worth doing poorly” because even attempting it is better than never starting
Eh, I wish my brain worked that way.
Mostly because if I do it, and it turns out poorly, then I never try it again, because it's obvious I don't have any natural talent in that particular subject, and the work and time spent to develop my awful skills would be better spent on things I'm already good at
I had never heard of that, I'll try to keep it in mind.
@michaelandrews “Dude, suckin’ at something is the first step to being sorta good at something.” - Jake the Dog
Better done than perfect
Ye..sounds about right!
“perfectionism is not the way, it’s in the way” I REALLY NEEDED TO HEAR THIS SO MUCH THANK U😭😭❤️
“Your body of work is only as great as the projects you finish.”
I both appreciate and hate you. 😂❤️
As an artist:
"Is it 70% perfect?"
"...No..."
"Is it 70% a failure?"
"...No...
:)"
This is really wonderful 😭
nice
ik the feeling
To my parents anything less than 100% is a failure... that’s why I’m so fucked up ...
@@HannahClarkgreencupcakes let go of their judgements/opinions, of their power over you so you can be free and create awesome art :)
“The world isn’t going to hate you for making something less than perfect” that HIT
yeah but online trolls will temporarily hate-mail you
@Jasmine yeah same
My boyfriend has told me this before and my answer always is "they won't, but I will"... you can imagine how I'm doing!
You've obviously never been online LOL.. Trying being less than perfectly PC on youtube and see how that flies. Just one racist comment, even in humor, will end you.
The world and the Internet are pretty unforgiving places
As someone trying to replace my addiction to drugs with an addiction to art, you are my favorite channel. I have felt like every artist on RUclips expresses their daily life as a calm artistic bubble, while you discuss actual challenges many others may have gone through and empathize greatly. You’re awesome bro.
Your videos are telling me basic stuff I feel I could’ve learned in elementary school but here I am sitting 20 years later feeling enlightened af by your basic 70% rule.
I literally stopped editing the video I've been struggling with for the past 4 weeks to watch this video about how to stop procrastinating.
So that's why your video was late? GET BACK TO WORK!
Now I hope you finished it and it’s at least 70% perfect :3 ♥️
@Sylvers Volpe
Stop being so rude, people have lives outside of RUclips. This person isn't just a video making machine.
@@pentabump Surely, SURELY.. the partial "all caps" and tone of the comment was very clearly dripping with sarcasm and jest. No? I have to actually explain what a joke is?
Right. That was a joke. Your heart is in the right place. But you misread the situation.
@@SylversVolpe
Oh ok sorry I'm dumb lol
"Laziness is not the cause of procrastination. Fear of failure is."
I've known this in my bones for a few years, but it's so hard to get past that struggle. I try to tell myself that it doesn't matter what I'm doing or why, so long as I'm doing it.
An eye-opening video. Thank you for your thoughts.
Same bro, just remember that you always have to try. And if you fail, try again. And if you succeed you'l feel so fckn good.
The fear of success as well
and the laziness to get out of your comfort zone!!!
This is so true! I struggle with procrastination and I also have a major fear of failure. Things finally make sense.
Same here but, i f you're afraid to fail and afraid to try, then you're afraid to succeed.
"Your body of work is only as good as the projects you finish." Holy crap I felt that! Thank you for another clearly explained, paradigm shifting, really helpful video.
I’ve seen perfectionism take over myself and in other people as well. When I was younger I’ve never thought about perfectionism being a bad thing except it has caused so much stress for me in the past before. Wanting to get the highest grades in the class. A perfect test score. It drove me crazy. 🙁
This made me think of a joke my dad would always tell me if I was getting too hard on myself: what do you call someone who graduated medical school last in their class? ... Doctor
Wise man your father!!
My mom always taught me: don’t do anything if you can’t do it well
Huh, I wonder why I suffer with procrastination and perfectionism?...
This is so backwards! So hard to unlearn these things, but you can do it!! 🙌
My dad told me that. I think, subconsciously, I let that become my excuse.
Same same same, ohhhh I hate it when they tell me that... 😒
Same, just gotta unlearn that 😞
Anything worth doing is worth doing wrong first.
Goddamn, man. I recognized myself in each and every points you made. Being like this is nothing but torture and self-disappointment.
This video helps a lot, thank you.
I drew a big 75 on a piece of paper and I put it on the wall where I can see it at all times. I'll try to live with this as my new motto (well, at least 75% of the time).
The most powerful thing I have done around my perfectionism is shifting my mindset. Instead of viewing the track in my head that always pointing out my mistakes as bad, it's the helpful voice in my head that tells me how I can improve. From that view, I have a better ability than most to learn from my project, work, experience, whatever. Now, my "perfectionism" is a strength.
THE 70% RULE WORKED. CAN YOU BELIEVE IT. I HAD TO WRITE AN ESSAY, AND I WANTED TO WRITE THE BEST EVER ESSAY BUT I COULDN'T GET STARTED. THE 70% RULE WORKED.
Fabulous!
Not 80/20?
Congratulations, and what a great show of courage to push past your hesitations. I salute you!
I can't stop crying. I couldn't have found this at a more fitting time. I've managed to procrastinate for years in something I'm extremely passionate about... And when he said that procrastination comes from shame and that my work is not my worth something kinda broke inside of me...
I was gonna write a longer story for this but who cares in the end... This just hit too hard
Please do write that story, however long 😉
I’d love to hear it. I have the same problem with procrastination things I’m actually passionate about to the point where I question my passions. I’ve lost a lot of creative years and almost lost my secondary education because of this anxiety. I’m gonna give this 70% rule a go.
we care. make something beautiful
I'm suffering the same. Lost a lot of creative years due to extreme perfectionism and shame
I'll tell my story if it's to encourage anyone else in telling theirs. If not then I guess it may be something to relate to but it's pretty short and simple.
I have been wanting to write and create my own music for 6 years. I have actually completed 1 song in that time due to fear of failure and not being good enough. I'm only 21, so I still have time but I've always felt behind cause a lot of people I know around me at my age and mainly younger is starting a business, or starting a family, or buying a house or has a good job etc. I'm still staying with my parents. I don't have a job. I don't have a significant other. I feel incredibly worthless because I've spent the last 6 years just living in fear. But fear of what exactly? Criticism? I invite criticism to improve. My issue is I don't create to be critiqued to see that improvement.
The Quantity leads to Quality thing...I've never looked at it from that perspective! Eye-opening! Really love your channel and just pre-ordered the book, can't wait to get it - even though I would rather have an audio book, cause I love the Aussie accent. :D
Reminds me of a quote from Willie Nelson when asked how he wrote so many great songs. He said 'Well, I wrote thousands of songs. A few of them were bound to be good'.
5:28 "There's probably a more efficient way..." spoken like a perfectionist :P
😂😂😂
I considered just adding this video to my "watch later" list to procrastinate watching it, but I'm glad I didn't!
I almost did too, but I paused the movie I wasnt really watching, to watch this video and was so glad I did!
You have to love the irony.
I'm watching this from my Watch Later list 🙈😂😂😂
SAME 😂
Same
I almost put this video in my "watch later" playlist, then I realized...
Same
... I've had this in my watch later for months 😌
SAME omg
@@cheddarharpy same
Hahah I feel you
I feel like most artists suffer from either perfectionism or imposter syndrome. Amanda Palmer’s book The Art of Asking helped me with imposter syndrome, she calls I the fraud police. Amazing book. Great video, I appreciate your motivation to help motivate others. Inspiring people is an act of service, I hope everyone benefits from.
You probably don’t read too many of your comments on your old videos anymore, but on the off chance you do see this, I just wanted to say, as a random fellow human walking around and living on the other side of the planet, YOU’RE A TREASURE! You put into words so many of the things I struggle with and many of your suggestions and insights feel like the long lost keys to parts of my mind that I’ve long since given up on trying to unlock. The work you’re doing here is SO important and I want to thank you for all the effort and care you put into these videos. It means so much more than you could ever possibly imagine. Thank you!
I'm very happy for the experience that you got from this video, it was the same for me! Your comment is so so nice. Good luck with anything that you do 🫶🏼
A quick phrase I tell myself when I think myself into a corner: *Perfectionism kills joy*
Love this!
Yes!
This is a very important lesson alot of artists still have to learn.
Elcaaaa
Bruh, I can't even get out bed because I'm too worried about how I'll fuck up getting from my bed to the stairs and into the kitchen. I didn't get out bed until 6:30 today and spent the entire day setting up the "perfect" workspace for writing an essay.
@@ChrisD__ hey dude, i think that sounds like OCD. i have the similar experience
@@nyxturnal No, I'm pretty sure OCD is much worse than what I'm experiencing. Or maybe I'm just constantly in denial...
@@ChrisD__ Nah bro that definitely sound ocd like. You have been kept from participating in your daily life by your need to have a “perfect” workspace. Im very uptight and have ocd “like” features but i dont HAVE to do them. I am no doctor and i know it might be scary to have it confirmed to you. To know something is wrong with you(me with anxiety). But i think it might be worth looking into man. God bless and good luck.
I identify with the perfect blank piece of paper so much. I have a stack of unused notebooks almost as high as my knee because they're too nice for my invaluable thoughts. I'm still a teenager (just) and I hate to imagine where I'll be in a couple of years if I don't start using them. Thanks for tackling this topic in a more meaningful way then 'just start'
I sew. A lot. My friends sew, my family sew....the hardest part of any sewing project is taking the scissors and actually cutting into that big perfect length of fabric. 🙄
Omg same, I always buy new notebooks because I find them pretty and then I just don't use them because they are to nice and I don't want to ruin them.
So I figured it out, now I buy 2 notebooks that are the same and relax myself by telling that if this one isn't going to be perfect so I always have the another one, and then I really like the result and keep it, and have another notebook that isn't used, so I can stay relaxed.
I've been creatively blocking myself due to my perfectionism (in recent years). This video was a great pick me up. Thank you!
My rule is "aim to learn something instead of perfection" when doing my own thing. Learning can only happen when making mistakes. Just think Art is not Surgery.
This is really good!
this kind of thinking really help-me start working on decade old projects, and learning to code.
If you ever watch those real life surgery shows you'll also realize that surgery is more art than science, LOL 😋. How they just hack away to open someone's chest or do a nose job etc.
@@BitsOfInterest Well yeah it is sculpting in a way XD
same
"Your body of work is only as good as the projects you FINISH" - I printed this out and put it up on my wall where I work. Thank you!
Can you please kindly explain this line to me? English is not my native language so I'm kind of confused
@@bellairene9023 it basically means that even if you have the best skills, knowledge, or experience, people aren't gonna know about it or recognize those wonderful qualities unless you show them.
So, when you finish a project, that's when you can be known and recognized.
Basically what that quote means.
@@onuohaudeagha1255 Thank you so much for explaining! I can clearly understand it now. Have a great day!
@@bellairene9023 welcome!
I like this idea. i'm going to just vandalise a wall and write this quote.
This hit me hard. I've been told that I'm "too" academic, "too" detail oriented, "too" perfect. And my response was "Is that even a problem?".
Bought your book. Not because I needed it, but I wanted to support your channel and your work. Please dont't stop. Thx !
"your body of work is defined by the projects you finish" damn that's going on a sticky note in front of my desk thanks man
I'm like : How to make the 70% perfectly? 🥴
just make 70% of 70%- 😂
@@cheeseycheezy I'm imperfectly confused 😕
LMAO
@@cheeseycheezy hahahah exactly what my lazy ass was thinkin, if 70% is the new 100% then i should make 50% of that and i'll be fine 😀
And how do you know it’s at 70% when actually at 97% stressing
Thank you so much for this. I have recently realised I am a perfectionist and it has stopped me from starting or continuing with so many projects in my life. I have not drawn for over 20 years, because I was scared of not being “perfect”. A few weeks ago I started to draw and restarted the same picture 4 times! I watched your video and it made me look at myself and my work in a different light.
Thanks to you, I finally sat down, started and finished a picture. It’s not perfect by any means but it’s finished and I have learned so much about where I need to improve.
For the first time I am proud of something that isn’t perfect and it’s encouraged me to continue.
You understand me more than most people in my life ever have! I spend far too long deliberating over every decision in my life, which really zaps my leisure time (that I don't allow myself to have unless I finish those ToDo's). The hardest part is that even if I spend far too many hours researching to make a decision or tweaking what I wrote, when the result is imperfect I berate myself for not taking more time to make a better choice... when in reality, the other choices were just as (if not more) flawed.
The wall behind him is a visual proof of him being a perfectionist. The wall, supposedly dotted randomly, yet when you pay attention, you see every color is carefully placed perfectly like different gas molecules perfectly diffused in air.
I used to wonder why and how the hell anyone could take on inktober variations because the thought of making a Good Drawing every day for a MONTH was crazy. I usually spend at least 2 hours a day for 4 days making just one drawing, and even that doesn't turn out very good. It seemed like the most inefficient thing ever. Who knew the solution was to just make more drawings even if they're bad.
My thought exactly.
MMM I get bored with my drawings after an hour or so and draw new one, I rarely finish anything :"D
You know? Same with mine. I drew last night but when I wanted to finish inking it I stopped and not motivated at all.
Just a way i use is not to judge my drawings as GOOD or BAD . They are just drawings !
i don't draw to show off , or to have a very nice drawing , but because i REALLY love to draw . "good" ones may come along the way . but i'm equally as happy with the "bad" ones !
and remember : Failure is a sign that shows you're trying . Hope this helps .
but they gave inktober themes a month before, didn't they? so maybe artists made art pieces and just post every day in October
Thank you for reminding me creativity is beautiful at 70%
this video feels super personal omg
when you said : aim for 70% I felt shook, I can't imagine that, it sounds so mediocre and so complacent and so... repulsive. I know I'll try it because 70% perfect, is better than 100% unhappy, or 0% accomplished, that's how 4 decades of my life have gone. But it hurts.
Same here
You're definitely not alone, bruh)
Ok so you want me to believe that you have at least 40 years but you have this profile pic?
Um no
@@heberthr.6978 I am 41 and have this profile pricture :)
@@heberthr.6978 what are u, a kid? anyone can like anime/any other stuff, ain't age restrictive lol
Funny how this applies to other things in life too; I have real bad anxiety to go outside and do certain stuff (groceries, picking up my meds, go to appointments etc) and because I was too scared to do it myself (and I was afraid to fail) I always let someone else do it.. But today, for the first time in weeks (and with a calming tablet lol) Ive managed to pick up my own meds ( my mom drove me there since Im not alowed to drive with those meds) at first I was so frustrated it didn't go "perfect" since I was shaking and still really nervous whilst being there.. but after I came home my sister showed me this video and I realised I actually did really well; it was easily over 70%, so why should I be disappointed?? Im so happy I managed to go outside, go all the way to the pharmasist and even picked up my own meds.. this way of thinking really helps with the healing proces and makes me realise I shouldnt be so hard on myself if it didn't go 100%.. I will always have bad days.. but I should be really proud of myself when I achive something hard, even if it didn't go "perfect".. and remember those better days
Edit: I never expected so many kind reactions.. thank you all so much! :)
Well said! You rocked it and inspired me, thank u 💓
@@AnneWilkynson aww thank you for your kind words 🤗☺️
I'm so proud of you!! Keep going love ❤️❤️
It's nice to hear that, it's such a small thing but has a very positive impact on the body and mind imo. It may stress you out at that moment but thinking back at the achievement compensates for that. I completely understand your situation as I have been in a very similar one a while back, but looking at it now I see that the more I let other people do things for me the more I let myself be comfortable with not doing it which only leads to sinking deeper and deeper into anxiety, depression, or whatever is stopping a person. As soon as I did a few things of the same importance as you mentioned(seemingly small for an outsider, but huge for you) I started to realize this and over time it actually helped me because with that I also realized no one can ever help me as much as I can help myself❤️ I know it may not be completely related to what you said but someone may read this and get something helpful out of it
Yes, you should be proud, a positive mindset is important. 👍 And things will get better each time ☺️
Diminishing returns - a concept that I had to learn the hard way, but it is key to know that not every next effort will bring the same results. The distinctions of diminishing-returns efforts only come to light when the competition is isolated to the top performers.
In 10 minutes you walked me through my self destructive perfectionism better than my therapist
Let's not forget that when you keep working on a project to fix all the 'imperfections' you see, you often end up ruining it... :(
I feel like I'm a perfectionist who makes absolutely crap work. I put in so much effort and at the end I'm like 😐can't even look at it
Me toooooo!
Same
Link your work and allow objective critiques. Most perfectionists view their baseline as crap work.
Same
It’s a common misconception that perfectionists actually end up doing amazing job. Even if or when we do, it’s still at expense of our well being. For me it’s giving up on my health, sleep, etc. So, generally speaking, the job is not done perfectly with such corresponding consequences.
I struggle w/ major self-criticism. Thanks for breaking this down and infusing your authenticity, creativity, and humor. Feeling inspired.
Thank you so much for this! I have put off many things in my life because i built them up to be so big in my mind. But thankfully I’m in a creative streak and getting better at throwing the perfectionism out the window. I’ll be sure to use your tips as well. One thing that has helped me is playing a mental trick on myself where I say “it’s just a rough draft” but really it’s the actual project. I made one of my favorite songs this way lol
only three minutes in and 'your worth is not determined by what you accomplish' shook me to my core wew we're in for some trauma unpacking today fellas
I can't agree with that, though. Everything I've seen and experienced has shown me that (as a man) if you're useless, you won't garner respect, and therefore will be seen with less value than those around you. You'll be like a pet; maybe liked (as you're inoffensive), but not held in any esteem and won't be actively missed.
@@sirnonapplicable Nah dude, those sound like bad friends. My friends value my worth based on me as a person, not achievements, be weird as shit if they did honestly.
Besides, the bar for achievements is individual. If you're depressed as fuck, getting out of bed is an achievement. If you came from an abusive house and you break the cycle of abuse, that's an achievement. Who gives a shit about a piece of paper that cost you 5 years of your life and gives you lifelong debt. It's not like it gives you a leg up anymore. We aren't all doctors or rocket scientists and that's alright. Stop comparing yourself to other people and look at where you started compared to where you are now man. Any progress is still progress. And seriously, find some better friends who don't make you feel like trash.
@@Sufficio I should have been more specific: potential SOs care about that, friends not so much. Not sure why I was so vague.
@@sirnonapplicable Man, there's good potential SO's out there for you too. Keep looking. The ones who are worth anything aren't going to only value you for your achievements. Ideally your SO should be one of your best friends imo. Try aiming more for making friends with similar interests and then if it turns into more, awesome! If not, you made a friend. I feel like going into it only looking for a partner is a rough way to go about things and puts a lot of pressure on the whole situation.
I really needed this. I failed my whole semester all because I was trying to perfect them to the tea and I ended up missing the submission date all coz I was so caught up in perfecting my assignments. Thank goodness I have a chance to redeem myself before the academic year starts in Feb to resubmit those assignments. I'm definitely going to remember the 70% rule. thank you =)
This is me rnnnn
Someone told me this year "C's get degrees" it's my new mantra...but only works when I remember to think of it 😅
SAMEEE! We got this next semester c:
Gotta check back here in 4/5month time 😅
@@sarahprosecco 😂😂😂 C's get degrees! So true
4:22 Yes you should make it most definitely! Brother you are changing lives and giving us the wisdom we didn’t know we needed. Keep up the work it’s absolutely amazing!!!
I appreciate you mentioning the being sober struggle. I've never really connected the perfectionism struggle with the moderation struggle.
Perfectionism comes from shame. Mind blown. I was today years old when I finally learned this.
I know it sounds dumb, but im kinda afraid of giving up on my perfectionism... im scared of becoming too forgiving and lazy with myself and my work. I know it doesnt work like that, but it just the fear of the kind of failure and shame that perfectionism is protecting me from. It makes no sense, and i hate it, maybe the shame and hate will slowly melt away with years
It doesn't sound dumb. It's exactly what he's talking about. You're gonna have to decide if it's more important to you to live like this or to...to put it frankly...get over it.
It's just the brain. Bc the brain work math. Your Feelings are not there lokated. That's what it is to remember. Your Brain can only tell you that you where lazy wenn he saw it.(delay) The Brain trys to catch up Time that is already gone.... afterwords you can say 'damn that was lazy'. NEXT 'I did not like that lazy result'... NEXT: you will not do it again that way... that's learning.... learning by doing. Perfection is'nt real.... until you make it....
mooood
Recovering perfectionist here, and while I do have days of "oh my god, I've become the laziest person in the world *internal panic*" the reality is that I'm achieving as much (if not more) than I was before. I'm just not making myself sick doing it. Being able to zoom out and look at my collection of work (I make astrology, mental health, and anti-capitalist zines and am hoping to make videos eventually), rather than the micro-pieces of the work really helps.
And yes, time heals the hell out of perfectionism! I hope you get some space/time/grace to put the shame down and make some neat stuff (to the 70% mark) soon!
It will Anni, it will. It's what I wanted to answer. Time does make you milder on yourself. Plus, you're never a failure or lazy. It's your mind making you. You can't make that little voice shut up all the time but you do can prove it wrong. With being happy.
Oh my gosh this is exactly what I needed! You are an amazing content creator because this video included many different types of visual aids and examples to help my brain stay engaged and understand, and you have a fabulous, down to earth, unique and admirable personality. AND now I feel like I have a solid, shiny new tool that could be life saving in grad school! Thank you for making thiiiiis!
this video is seriously everything I needed to hear thank you
This hits deep. My parents always said don't ever do anything "half ass" so my mind won't let me get away with doing anything without being extremely thorough. It's time consuming and exhausting and makes me not even wanna START anything cuz I know perfection isn't possible and I won't be happy with it if it isn't so....its definitely a burden. Thanks man, this is the clarity I've been begging for.
OMG same here. At 48 the weight of it has finally exhausted me. I’m crispy fried and looking for a better way.
I signed up to this channel for some sweet dank artwork. But what I got was the most valuable self help class my mental health has ever attended.
Thank you so very much for your well- thought and heart-felt presentation, Brother.
I found your book through a Reddit comment and I've spent the weekend binging your videos. Thank you from the bottom of my little Romanian heart for the very solid advice and techniques I can use myself and recommend to my patients. Massive respect and thank you for using the power of metaphors to connect with us and us with ourselves. Cheers!
"Fear of tainting a pristine page." A KINDRED SPIRIT!!!
this is why i never draw 💀
- "Goes to a new restaurant after studying the menu online for at least 30min" "After eating, thinks that maybe I should've chosen dish X"
- "Spends hours browsing for art supplies and reading reviews because you want the best supplies"
- "Spends hours on producing a drawing, scans it in and edits it digitally for hours, prints it out and traces it onto the chosen paper and then spends hours on re-drawing it and refining it" "Has at least 2-5 drafts of the same drawing"
List goes on. Problem is, I don't really know what causes my perfectionism. My mum is kind of the same way. It doesn't reflect so heavily on day-to-day life but when it comes to creating something or relationships with other people, we tend to have very high standards. It's exhausting.
I find myself in your comment.. An I HATE it! Our life is so exhausting😑
It could be some generational trauma that comes from your mother side. Look up for epigenetics, you two may be able to pinpoint something.
We take on a lot of our parents behaviours even if we don’t directly experience them :/
MinnaM, I'm suffering exactly the same level of perfectionism. It sets me back and makes me wanna cry.
@@NourolHuda extremely exhausting. Makes me achieve little.
This video is the video I’ve needed my whole life. I’m going to watch it every morning this week and hope it sticks. Thank you so much!!! So happy this is free
Thank you Struthless for this video! I feel like I've needed to hear this for way too long. I love the quality of your videos and the research that goes into them, it makes it such a pleasure to learn and grow. Thank you for sharing your personal experiences and struggles to help everyone relate and find hope to be better and do better. Your videos do that for me. 🙏🏻
'Perfectionism comes from shame'... I had such a profound f*ck-me-aha! moment that I had to step away from my computer and smoke 70% of a cigarette.
I’m almost 60. I wish I could have watched this video 40 years ago!
It’s never too late!
Remember KFC
Isn't it great that you found it at 60 instead of 70 though?
@@DonnaAndCats lol, good point, though.
But what if one finds it at 90 and not 100? 😜
That would be perfect, but story tells the other
I’m so glad I found your videos! Just wanted to let you know you’re doing an amazing job and your videos have been helping me more than any therapy in real life 🥺 Thank you and keep up the good work~ ☺️
I know this is an old video and you're not likely to see this, but this is EXACTLY what I needed to hear right now. Thank you for that.
"If your fidelity for perfection is too high, you'll never get anything done" - David Foster Wallace
I was actually really anxious to click on this video in case I couldn't watch it perfectly enough. I'm going to try and persevere and watch it through. I normally cut experiences off early from fear, including watching videos. I'm worried about writing this comment for the same reason. But here I go, I think it's good enough.
This is exactly me!
You did good x
Guys, I've been dealing with mental health issues my whole life but you are still young and don't have to live this way. There are so many options out there for help. Find a professional and talk to them about these issues. You are NOT alone. Join a Facebook or Insta group where you can speak with other people that are struggling. Please do it before things get worse. There's a better way to live with or without anxiety and or depression or your particular demons. Take care of yourselves.
@@Glim246 well, I personally cant get professional help simply because it isn't accessible to me and honestly it the systems fault..and I am simply entering adulthood with the build up of years of trauma.. I guess the only way was to deal with it myself.
Agree with the idea of looking for professional help to figure out what's underlying these issues. For me, it turns out to be ADHD, which I got diagnosed with this summer, just before my 50th birthday! But if formal assessment isn't available to you right now, keep reading and learning bc self-assessment can be very helpful! Follow people on social media - for suspected ADHD, that includes people like How to ADHD, Dani Donovan, ADHD Alien, and Black Girl Lost Keys. By the time I got diagnosed I was already sure of what was going on, and was already applying strategies to overcome my limitations.
oh my god. amazing video! thanks so much for this, i really needed to hear it.
This video is probably the best I've seen on RUclips so far. I'm on to fight my problems, and it seems like it all comes from perfectionism.
Thank you so much!
Yes I cried during this video
'understanding that perfectionism comes from shame'. Had to pause and go back to digest it properly. You said it so fast, like it's so obvious... but honestly that's an insane insight.
Yes....that struck me too!
Isn't it just?!
I pause so many times and end up crying while watching his videos too
Same here. I've read a lot of stuff about perfectionism to try and get my head around it and feel like I've made progress in some ways but this feels like the magic bullet that gets to the bottom of the problem. Sobering but grateful for it!
I had that insight from watching Teal Swan's work. I was impressed to see Struthless knows this stuff.
Dude, you’ve changed my life. I mean unironically not just this video but your channel in general, it’s helping me so much. You have this way of explaining things thats just [chef’s kiss] its simple its straight to the point it’s structured and it just speaks to me. I found your channel not too long ago actually, I guess at the right time in my life where I’m done feeling like shit and being shitty and I’m also done pretending it’ll get better by itself eventually and I should just abuse substances to endure life in the meantime, and I feel like you’ve given me some tools to actually do something about it. I dont wanna be like dauntingly putting responsibilities on you or anything from this comment, it’s just that the level headedness and honesty you put in here is reaching me somewhere deep, as a fellow perfectionist procrastinating artist with a loaded past and a complex about a lack of hair. Also the prod and post prod here is amazing yo the art the pacing the music the script damn. keep doing what your doing, for yourself most importantly, and for the people like me you’re reaching, cause I swear your advice has helped me so much in understanding what I’ve been doing wrong, what really it is I’m trying to do, and how I should go about it.
also I’ve typed probably 20 comments on your vids in the past and idk if I’ve even posted one cause it’s never The Perfect Comment encapsulating everything I mean with the perfect intonation, but damn it you’re right if I want to get a message delivered I gotta actually send it even if its just 70% of the perfect concept I have in mind.
Dude!!! Man this comment means so much to me. Also, was having a low as day and this was a really really nice pick me up. Thank you for everything you said 💞💞💞
I think your message is perfect !
Same! I think it’s also his relatability that makes me listen to him. He’s vulnerable. I see him also struggling. So I can trust this guy. He’s cool but approachable. Also I mean the videos are freakin beautiful.
I feel this too! wow this has helped so much, and also seeing the comments and seeing we're all in the same boat. Love one another, be kind and make art
Absolutely agree with this 100%!!! Feel the same about my life and how he has helped!
This is what I needed to hear today, THANK YOU!
This is so spot on. Thank you for the suggestions! I can't even count how many unfinished projects remain unfinished for the very reasons you explained.
Excellent content!
Suga from BTS once said (and this is a translation): "You can only evaluate something once you look back when it's over."
I've started noticing this recently too, where I need to take a few days away from a project when I feel like it's done or when I get frustrated that it's not going great, and when I come back to it, I often realise that it's not as bad as I thought. Or I see where the problems are more clearly. But taking that time away is so hard. And just getting started is hard too, but it's something you have to practice (me @ myself here too). I like the 70% rule. It takes away a lot of pressure if you can commit to it.
Brilliant! You said once "Thinking about it is NOT the same as doing it!" That phrase has often helped me reason through my perfectionism-fueled-procrastination. I brought up perfectionism yesterday in a video - and this really is timely for me. Thank you!
1 + 1 = 1
'Thinking is not doing.' + 'Doing nothing is not thinking' = ZEN
In other words... if you want to ride a bike, you have to stop thinking about how it works... we don't have to understand life... it's already on (air)... let's go out there and have some fun! 🤪
Agreed! It’s helping me too 💗
This is just my second video in and I already love your content !
I always received comfort knowing that DaVinci never finished a piece. 😂
Thanks, Now I also feel the same.
Me too!
Perfection is a Process of Perpetual imProvement.
It would be a serious flaw to not leave room for ever greater accomplishments.
The more we know --- the more we realize that there is to know ...
This video is such a relief for anxious people like me that tend to feel overwhelmed easily.
Dude, you're the best! Thank you for not have being a perfectionist person and post this video. This video totally helped me.
Hey man, you're great! Thank you for this boost, much needed as I'm in the middle end of completing a query & synopsis. Sending goodness from Brooklyn.
I needed to watch this so much. I'm in the worst writer's block I've ever had. Even though I write so much, every paper and essay I present always receives so many compliments, but every single time I have to write something from scratch it gives me so much anxiety that I just can't do it. I feel so ashamed to even imagine letting someone read it, that I keep creating excuses to just never start. But today, with your video, I said to myself "omg, just sit down and fucking write something, not thinking about it, not judging, just write", and that's what I did and it worked :)
I’m here for writing too. I feel you
Omg everytime I make 4 or 5 sentences I always try and perfect the wording and grammar then spend an hour trying to perfect it then the cycle goes on 😭
Despite being a Christian, your problem being my problem is the exact reason I have "Because Dammit it's happening TODAY!" Taped to my wall.
“You can’t edit a blank page”
I have been struggling with this lately and I found it really helpful to reach out to my professor, advisor and therapist. I felt better after receiving feedback from them on how to make the process less daunting.
I've heard of the 80/20 rule before. It's about the fact that 80% of the work costs 20% of the energy and the last 20% to make it perfect will cost you 80% of your energy. Now, I'm an absolute perfectionist and haven't taken these thoughts by hart yet. But I'm gonna try to remind myself of this more. Thanks
I already have subconsciously been doing this with school work without even realizing it, and I’m really excited now to see what I can do outside of school with this mindset. There are so many things I just haven’t started working on because I want them to be perfect, but now this makes following through and doing them actually obtainable. Thank you for this
Holy shit. I’m so grateful i stumbled into your channel. ❤️
I've struggled with this for a short period of time. And according to your logic, I'm actually having a 1% rule. I just start whatever I have on my mind and go from there. I don't try to assess if it's a good idea and I consider the whole process to be a huge mess anyway, that I try to save somehow.
As you said yourself, starting is the hardest. So by having no expectations before starting, you can't mess up, as you already expect to mess up (does that make sense?)
My motto is "don't think, just do and critically assess when it's done"
So true..I've been struggling with procrastination, perfection and distractions for a while now and it's just slowed my work process down. Anyway I just told myself lastnight to just do it without thinking. Think afterwards 🙈 just get it done. I just i need to get 4 more thumbnail sketches done for my clients book and that's it. That's what I'm doing today after my workout without thinking. The pressure and feeling overwhelming is less daunting when I think about it in that way.. so yea.. I'm going to get started in the next 2 hrs from now.🤞🏽🙏🏽
I love this point of view! Thanks for sharing :)
You said "asses"
@@willguggn2 whoops! corrected it now! XD
@@Unukadesign LOL. If my barrier to entry was 1% and I chased every idea that came to me, I'd literally never finish anything because I have so many new ideas every day while I'm working on whatever I'm working on. But yeah, it is super helpful to just start and not try to worry too much about whether it'll be amazing, or whether it'll work out.
His teeth is beautifully white...
I would say they’re about 70% perfectly white.
@@RyanTford Hahahaha you just made me laugh. Sharp.
... ARE beautifully white. Sorry, I’m a perfectionist 🙄
Which is weird and unnatural
I was here for the are lol...but didn't look at his teeth once, had to go look. I had to listen and not look the background was killing me with his shirt ahahhaha
I can't love this video enough, thank you!
Hey! Just came across your channel yesterday and love it!! This process is so helpful and i see many people self-sabotaging and I have done so too. Thank you for making this!!
I never thought I was a perfectionist because i assumed perfectionists were perfect, and I never finished anything perfectly. I now see that's exactly what a perfectionist would think. Oh boy.