Yeah that too! ! This is all so life altering, seeing this big hidden universe of OTHERS with the same mental workings etc.... i have always thought I was super weird
OMG I thought I was the only one! When I was a kid, my parents would buy me sketchbooks because they knew I loved drawing but I always opted to draw on scrap papers instead because I didn't want to waste a good sketchbook just in case my drawings turned out ugly. I always told myself that I'd draw on them once I was good enough and realized to this day, most of my sketchbooks are either untouched or barely halfway drawn on.
Same. I'm filled with so much shame day to day, mostly coming from my prolonged lack of expression since the late 2000s and my failure to be able to show the best of myself to my fans.
Eh, I wish my brain worked that way. Mostly because if I do it, and it turns out poorly, then I never try it again, because it's obvious I don't have any natural talent in that particular subject, and the work and time spent to develop my awful skills would be better spent on things I'm already good at
You've obviously never been online LOL.. Trying being less than perfectly PC on youtube and see how that flies. Just one racist comment, even in humor, will end you.
yeah. i'm seriously struggling. thought i was getting better, but i took like four steps back recently and i'm hoping this video reminds me of something good or worthwhile. hope life gets better for you, dude.
Not a problem, just a coming home. Feel. Question it. Feel again, know that it will be better. Give yourself time. Choking is because you, Strutless, all on here, I, are part of that family.
I hate it when people are so gutted when they do something their parents wouldn’t approve of but like you shouldn’t be living your life for others you should live it doing what you want to do. Its sad really
@@pentabump Surely, SURELY.. the partial "all caps" and tone of the comment was very clearly dripping with sarcasm and jest. No? I have to actually explain what a joke is? Right. That was a joke. Your heart is in the right place. But you misread the situation.
This dude really just read me like a book. I never thought my perfectionism and 'I give up' behavior were linked, I always just thought it was weird since they're like opposites of each other. On one hand I want to complete something perfectly or I"ll feel terrible and worthless but then I also never feel like it'll be good enough so I just don't do anything or give up early on
@@beatsg i swear to god... i ruined my past 3 years of life with this shit. It's so draining and dissapointing. Feels like i am forever stuck in this circle.
"Laziness is not the cause of procrastination. Fear of failure is." I've known this in my bones for a few years, but it's so hard to get past that struggle. I try to tell myself that it doesn't matter what I'm doing or why, so long as I'm doing it. An eye-opening video. Thank you for your thoughts.
Also, the lack of coarse swear words makes me so happy to share this. I'm no language prude, but the lack of expletives really does ameliorate the discourse. It's like wearing a suit before the judge. It doesn't make you more innocent, it just helps the judge rule out visual prejudices. Being edgy is impossible these days; may as well be interesting. Which you absolutely are.
Thank you! Also thanks about the swear words - which is intentional! I think it was Mike Birbiglia or Jerry Seinfeld, but one of them said to try comedy without swearing and see how good you really are. So this is nice to have it recognised 😊😊
@@JoanOfArgghh The lead singer of Linkin Park - Chester once said in an interview that “Hybrid Theory does not follow a trend set up by a lot of other bands in that it doesn't contain any curses or swear words. This was because the band wanted to write lyrics honestly and they thought that unnecessary swear words take away attention from the music." He also said “that it’s harder to write songs by NOT adding in swear words and other bands add them in just to try and sound cooler.” So yes @struthless has got the intricate point across clearly by not taking away attention from the message with swearing. Soo tempting to swear at the end of this comment now😆
@@struthless Good point about the swear words although I didn't even think about it until I read the comments! Anyway I love this video dude great job and your way of speaking is very compeling, there is really a lot of quality on your production overall. I subscribed at one video. peace out!
So needed to hear this as a chronic perfectionist. I've wasted years turning ideas over and over in my head when I could have been acting on them. Such a waste... can't do that anymore.
I can't stop crying. I couldn't have found this at a more fitting time. I've managed to procrastinate for years in something I'm extremely passionate about... And when he said that procrastination comes from shame and that my work is not my worth something kinda broke inside of me... I was gonna write a longer story for this but who cares in the end... This just hit too hard
I’d love to hear it. I have the same problem with procrastination things I’m actually passionate about to the point where I question my passions. I’ve lost a lot of creative years and almost lost my secondary education because of this anxiety. I’m gonna give this 70% rule a go.
I'll tell my story if it's to encourage anyone else in telling theirs. If not then I guess it may be something to relate to but it's pretty short and simple. I have been wanting to write and create my own music for 6 years. I have actually completed 1 song in that time due to fear of failure and not being good enough. I'm only 21, so I still have time but I've always felt behind cause a lot of people I know around me at my age and mainly younger is starting a business, or starting a family, or buying a house or has a good job etc. I'm still staying with my parents. I don't have a job. I don't have a significant other. I feel incredibly worthless because I've spent the last 6 years just living in fear. But fear of what exactly? Criticism? I invite criticism to improve. My issue is I don't create to be critiqued to see that improvement.
THE 70% RULE WORKED. CAN YOU BELIEVE IT. I HAD TO WRITE AN ESSAY, AND I WANTED TO WRITE THE BEST EVER ESSAY BUT I COULDN'T GET STARTED. THE 70% RULE WORKED.
Extra tip: I learned this from "Atomic Habits" by James Clear. Have you ever realised that almost all the habits you tried to create in the past, like exercising, studying, reading, you don't actually do anymore? Or when you plan to do your assignment but find yourself not doing anything until right before deadline where you spend the whole day doing it? The answer might be procrastination. When trying to build a habit, the 2 minute rule really helps to stop with procrastination. Start with a very simplified version of that habit or in other words, a 2 minute version, then build your way up. You procrastinate doing that assignment because you think it's a hassle to write that 30 paragraph essay. Instead of thinking like that, think that you will just write 1 sentence. When you feel like you can do more, that's the best time to stop. For example: Let's say you want to start going to the gym. The biggest mistake people make, is that they get very motivated and enthusiastic which makes them do their best and try as hard as possible. Then the next day they get a bit lazy, and couldn't do as well as the previous day. Then the next they do the same thing. Then after a month they fully stopped. Instead of going full on 2 hours at the gym, do it for 2 minutes instead. It doesn't necessarily have to be that exact time, the point is that you do a simplified version of the habit. Point is that you master the art of "showing up" itself(this video also said that the most difficult part is to show up). It's not that you can't do it for 2 hours again after doing it for one day, but it's that you don't even show up to the gym because of your procrastination. If you instead just try to first create a habit of showing up to the gym, you would be able to then upgrade that easy habit into something better. Imagine just reading one page of a book. It's not that big of a deal isn't it? You wouldn't procrastinate just reading one page would you? Now imagine doing what you've always done, and try to imagine reading for 3 hours. You would get all lazy and procrastinate right? After getting an inch of motivation, you instantly try to do it for as long and as hard as possible until your motivation fades. So instead of doing that, just read a page until could do it without a second thought. Then try to go for 5 pages, Then 7, Then 10, and so on. Finally, you would reach your previous attempt to read for hours in a day but this time you would not procrastinate at all. One more thing, there is also something called a "Habit Tracker" that I learned from that book. Get a calendar, and circle the date if you did your habit you were going for that day. Try to get as long of a streak as possible. Missing one day is fine, but don't EVER miss 2 days in a row. IMPORTANT NOTE: You can circle it even if you just, let's say, read a paragraph from a book. Or just doing one pushup. Point is that you make yourself think the habit is easy to do, and you do it everyday.
Reminds me of that one quote from Bojack Horseman... "It gets easier. Every day, it gets a little easier. But you gotta do it every day. That's the hard part. But it does get easier."
@Isabelle Gomez well for example, let's say you want to read books. If you read even just one page today, you circle today on the calendar. If you read again tommorow, you circle that day again on the calendar. Just try to get as long of a streak as possible because seeing it directly makes us not want to break the streak of that reading everyday
This made me think of a joke my dad would always tell me if I was getting too hard on myself: what do you call someone who graduated medical school last in their class? ... Doctor
Great insights. I tell my kids “done is better than perfect” particularly when it comes to schoolwork. Getting 0% because you didn’t turn in an assignment really sets you back. When it comes to art and music, the process can be the reward. Imperfections are often interesting and beautiful. But if you’re a perfectionist, it’s tough to change your mindset. I really enjoyed your video!
My rule is "aim to learn something instead of perfection" when doing my own thing. Learning can only happen when making mistakes. Just think Art is not Surgery.
If you ever watch those real life surgery shows you'll also realize that surgery is more art than science, LOL 😋. How they just hack away to open someone's chest or do a nose job etc.
I used to wonder why and how the hell anyone could take on inktober variations because the thought of making a Good Drawing every day for a MONTH was crazy. I usually spend at least 2 hours a day for 4 days making just one drawing, and even that doesn't turn out very good. It seemed like the most inefficient thing ever. Who knew the solution was to just make more drawings even if they're bad.
Just a way i use is not to judge my drawings as GOOD or BAD . They are just drawings ! i don't draw to show off , or to have a very nice drawing , but because i REALLY love to draw . "good" ones may come along the way . but i'm equally as happy with the "bad" ones ! and remember : Failure is a sign that shows you're trying . Hope this helps .
@@bellairene9023 it basically means that even if you have the best skills, knowledge, or experience, people aren't gonna know about it or recognize those wonderful qualities unless you show them. So, when you finish a project, that's when you can be known and recognized. Basically what that quote means.
As someone trying to replace my addiction to drugs with an addiction to art, you are my favorite channel. I have felt like every artist on RUclips expresses their daily life as a calm artistic bubble, while you discuss actual challenges many others may have gone through and empathize greatly. You’re awesome bro.
Funny how this applies to other things in life too; I have real bad anxiety to go outside and do certain stuff (groceries, picking up my meds, go to appointments etc) and because I was too scared to do it myself (and I was afraid to fail) I always let someone else do it.. But today, for the first time in weeks (and with a calming tablet lol) Ive managed to pick up my own meds ( my mom drove me there since Im not alowed to drive with those meds) at first I was so frustrated it didn't go "perfect" since I was shaking and still really nervous whilst being there.. but after I came home my sister showed me this video and I realised I actually did really well; it was easily over 70%, so why should I be disappointed?? Im so happy I managed to go outside, go all the way to the pharmasist and even picked up my own meds.. this way of thinking really helps with the healing proces and makes me realise I shouldnt be so hard on myself if it didn't go 100%.. I will always have bad days.. but I should be really proud of myself when I achive something hard, even if it didn't go "perfect".. and remember those better days Edit: I never expected so many kind reactions.. thank you all so much! :)
It's nice to hear that, it's such a small thing but has a very positive impact on the body and mind imo. It may stress you out at that moment but thinking back at the achievement compensates for that. I completely understand your situation as I have been in a very similar one a while back, but looking at it now I see that the more I let other people do things for me the more I let myself be comfortable with not doing it which only leads to sinking deeper and deeper into anxiety, depression, or whatever is stopping a person. As soon as I did a few things of the same importance as you mentioned(seemingly small for an outsider, but huge for you) I started to realize this and over time it actually helped me because with that I also realized no one can ever help me as much as I can help myself❤️ I know it may not be completely related to what you said but someone may read this and get something helpful out of it
I really needed this. I failed my whole semester all because I was trying to perfect them to the tea and I ended up missing the submission date all coz I was so caught up in perfecting my assignments. Thank goodness I have a chance to redeem myself before the academic year starts in Feb to resubmit those assignments. I'm definitely going to remember the 70% rule. thank you =)
The wall behind him is a visual proof of him being a perfectionist. The wall, supposedly dotted randomly, yet when you pay attention, you see every color is carefully placed perfectly like different gas molecules perfectly diffused in air.
only three minutes in and 'your worth is not determined by what you accomplish' shook me to my core wew we're in for some trauma unpacking today fellas
I can't agree with that, though. Everything I've seen and experienced has shown me that (as a man) if you're useless, you won't garner respect, and therefore will be seen with less value than those around you. You'll be like a pet; maybe liked (as you're inoffensive), but not held in any esteem and won't be actively missed.
@@sirnonapplicable Nah dude, those sound like bad friends. My friends value my worth based on me as a person, not achievements, be weird as shit if they did honestly. Besides, the bar for achievements is individual. If you're depressed as fuck, getting out of bed is an achievement. If you came from an abusive house and you break the cycle of abuse, that's an achievement. Who gives a shit about a piece of paper that cost you 5 years of your life and gives you lifelong debt. It's not like it gives you a leg up anymore. We aren't all doctors or rocket scientists and that's alright. Stop comparing yourself to other people and look at where you started compared to where you are now man. Any progress is still progress. And seriously, find some better friends who don't make you feel like trash.
@@sirnonapplicable Man, there's good potential SO's out there for you too. Keep looking. The ones who are worth anything aren't going to only value you for your achievements. Ideally your SO should be one of your best friends imo. Try aiming more for making friends with similar interests and then if it turns into more, awesome! If not, you made a friend. I feel like going into it only looking for a partner is a rough way to go about things and puts a lot of pressure on the whole situation.
"Your body of work is only as good as the projects you finish." Holy crap I felt that! Thank you for another clearly explained, paradigm shifting, really helpful video.
when you said : aim for 70% I felt shook, I can't imagine that, it sounds so mediocre and so complacent and so... repulsive. I know I'll try it because 70% perfect, is better than 100% unhappy, or 0% accomplished, that's how 4 decades of my life have gone. But it hurts.
I've struggled with this for a short period of time. And according to your logic, I'm actually having a 1% rule. I just start whatever I have on my mind and go from there. I don't try to assess if it's a good idea and I consider the whole process to be a huge mess anyway, that I try to save somehow. As you said yourself, starting is the hardest. So by having no expectations before starting, you can't mess up, as you already expect to mess up (does that make sense?) My motto is "don't think, just do and critically assess when it's done"
So true..I've been struggling with procrastination, perfection and distractions for a while now and it's just slowed my work process down. Anyway I just told myself lastnight to just do it without thinking. Think afterwards 🙈 just get it done. I just i need to get 4 more thumbnail sketches done for my clients book and that's it. That's what I'm doing today after my workout without thinking. The pressure and feeling overwhelming is less daunting when I think about it in that way.. so yea.. I'm going to get started in the next 2 hrs from now.🤞🏽🙏🏽
@@Unukadesign LOL. If my barrier to entry was 1% and I chased every idea that came to me, I'd literally never finish anything because I have so many new ideas every day while I'm working on whatever I'm working on. But yeah, it is super helpful to just start and not try to worry too much about whether it'll be amazing, or whether it'll work out.
You probably don’t read too many of your comments on your old videos anymore, but on the off chance you do see this, I just wanted to say, as a random fellow human walking around and living on the other side of the planet, YOU’RE A TREASURE! You put into words so many of the things I struggle with and many of your suggestions and insights feel like the long lost keys to parts of my mind that I’ve long since given up on trying to unlock. The work you’re doing here is SO important and I want to thank you for all the effort and care you put into these videos. It means so much more than you could ever possibly imagine. Thank you!
I'm very happy for the experience that you got from this video, it was the same for me! Your comment is so so nice. Good luck with anything that you do 🫶🏼
I know it sounds dumb, but im kinda afraid of giving up on my perfectionism... im scared of becoming too forgiving and lazy with myself and my work. I know it doesnt work like that, but it just the fear of the kind of failure and shame that perfectionism is protecting me from. It makes no sense, and i hate it, maybe the shame and hate will slowly melt away with years
It doesn't sound dumb. It's exactly what he's talking about. You're gonna have to decide if it's more important to you to live like this or to...to put it frankly...get over it.
It's just the brain. Bc the brain work math. Your Feelings are not there lokated. That's what it is to remember. Your Brain can only tell you that you where lazy wenn he saw it.(delay) The Brain trys to catch up Time that is already gone.... afterwords you can say 'damn that was lazy'. NEXT 'I did not like that lazy result'... NEXT: you will not do it again that way... that's learning.... learning by doing. Perfection is'nt real.... until you make it....
Recovering perfectionist here, and while I do have days of "oh my god, I've become the laziest person in the world *internal panic*" the reality is that I'm achieving as much (if not more) than I was before. I'm just not making myself sick doing it. Being able to zoom out and look at my collection of work (I make astrology, mental health, and anti-capitalist zines and am hoping to make videos eventually), rather than the micro-pieces of the work really helps. And yes, time heals the hell out of perfectionism! I hope you get some space/time/grace to put the shame down and make some neat stuff (to the 70% mark) soon!
It will Anni, it will. It's what I wanted to answer. Time does make you milder on yourself. Plus, you're never a failure or lazy. It's your mind making you. You can't make that little voice shut up all the time but you do can prove it wrong. With being happy.
'understanding that perfectionism comes from shame'. Had to pause and go back to digest it properly. You said it so fast, like it's so obvious... but honestly that's an insane insight.
Same here. I've read a lot of stuff about perfectionism to try and get my head around it and feel like I've made progress in some ways but this feels like the magic bullet that gets to the bottom of the problem. Sobering but grateful for it!
It’s a common misconception that perfectionists actually end up doing amazing job. Even if or when we do, it’s still at expense of our well being. For me it’s giving up on my health, sleep, etc. So, generally speaking, the job is not done perfectly with such corresponding consequences.
I needed to watch this so much. I'm in the worst writer's block I've ever had. Even though I write so much, every paper and essay I present always receives so many compliments, but every single time I have to write something from scratch it gives me so much anxiety that I just can't do it. I feel so ashamed to even imagine letting someone read it, that I keep creating excuses to just never start. But today, with your video, I said to myself "omg, just sit down and fucking write something, not thinking about it, not judging, just write", and that's what I did and it worked :)
Omg everytime I make 4 or 5 sentences I always try and perfect the wording and grammar then spend an hour trying to perfect it then the cycle goes on 😭
I have been struggling with this lately and I found it really helpful to reach out to my professor, advisor and therapist. I felt better after receiving feedback from them on how to make the process less daunting.
The most powerful thing I have done around my perfectionism is shifting my mindset. Instead of viewing the track in my head that always pointing out my mistakes as bad, it's the helpful voice in my head that tells me how I can improve. From that view, I have a better ability than most to learn from my project, work, experience, whatever. Now, my "perfectionism" is a strength.
Brilliant! You said once "Thinking about it is NOT the same as doing it!" That phrase has often helped me reason through my perfectionism-fueled-procrastination. I brought up perfectionism yesterday in a video - and this really is timely for me. Thank you!
1 + 1 = 1 'Thinking is not doing.' + 'Doing nothing is not thinking' = ZEN In other words... if you want to ride a bike, you have to stop thinking about how it works... we don't have to understand life... it's already on (air)... let's go out there and have some fun! 🤪
- "Goes to a new restaurant after studying the menu online for at least 30min" "After eating, thinks that maybe I should've chosen dish X" - "Spends hours browsing for art supplies and reading reviews because you want the best supplies" - "Spends hours on producing a drawing, scans it in and edits it digitally for hours, prints it out and traces it onto the chosen paper and then spends hours on re-drawing it and refining it" "Has at least 2-5 drafts of the same drawing" List goes on. Problem is, I don't really know what causes my perfectionism. My mum is kind of the same way. It doesn't reflect so heavily on day-to-day life but when it comes to creating something or relationships with other people, we tend to have very high standards. It's exhausting.
Your videos are telling me basic stuff I feel I could’ve learned in elementary school but here I am sitting 20 years later feeling enlightened af by your basic 70% rule.
I was actually really anxious to click on this video in case I couldn't watch it perfectly enough. I'm going to try and persevere and watch it through. I normally cut experiences off early from fear, including watching videos. I'm worried about writing this comment for the same reason. But here I go, I think it's good enough.
Guys, I've been dealing with mental health issues my whole life but you are still young and don't have to live this way. There are so many options out there for help. Find a professional and talk to them about these issues. You are NOT alone. Join a Facebook or Insta group where you can speak with other people that are struggling. Please do it before things get worse. There's a better way to live with or without anxiety and or depression or your particular demons. Take care of yourselves.
@@Glim246 well, I personally cant get professional help simply because it isn't accessible to me and honestly it the systems fault..and I am simply entering adulthood with the build up of years of trauma.. I guess the only way was to deal with it myself.
Agree with the idea of looking for professional help to figure out what's underlying these issues. For me, it turns out to be ADHD, which I got diagnosed with this summer, just before my 50th birthday! But if formal assessment isn't available to you right now, keep reading and learning bc self-assessment can be very helpful! Follow people on social media - for suspected ADHD, that includes people like How to ADHD, Dani Donovan, ADHD Alien, and Black Girl Lost Keys. By the time I got diagnosed I was already sure of what was going on, and was already applying strategies to overcome my limitations.
These videos are actually saving my life. I’ve been binging them for the past 24 hours after I came to RUclips to escape suicidal thoughts. Bro. Honestly, I know your videos are technically about art (of which I try to do also), but the whole time I’m watching I’m also associating it with my everyday life. This is magic. Sending you so much love for giving me such valuable tools to live by. 🤍
art and self discovery are linked a lot because of this. When you produce art you need to confront these things or they will eventually make their way to sabotage you
Perfection is a Process of Perpetual imProvement. It would be a serious flaw to not leave room for ever greater accomplishments. The more we know --- the more we realize that there is to know ...
There’s another rule that can help those who get stuck on things trying to make it perfect. The 80/20 rule. Basically you spend 20% of your energy making it 80% perfect and then you waste 80% of your energy trying to achieve that last 20%. I have no where near knocked that rule into my head but it still helped me ton so :)
Along with that, basically, is you get 80% of the value or profits from 20% of the effort/work. Translation: for the work for 80% of the value, trying to get the last 20% value can be as costly as turning down 4 more projects with the same amount of work/effort put into them that you put in 20% of the time/effort but get out 80% of the possible value/profit. Damnit: mediocrity is very profitable!
I was here for the are lol...but didn't look at his teeth once, had to go look. I had to listen and not look the background was killing me with his shirt ahahhaha
I feel like most artists suffer from either perfectionism or imposter syndrome. Amanda Palmer’s book The Art of Asking helped me with imposter syndrome, she calls I the fraud police. Amazing book. Great video, I appreciate your motivation to help motivate others. Inspiring people is an act of service, I hope everyone benefits from.
Had that moment in knitting recently. Usually when you mess up you need to destroy a fragment or the whole work depending on where the mistake was. I was learning to knit a new pattern on a blanket. At the very beginning I made a whole row of mistakes that made 3 next rows out of sync. I made a hard decision to carry on rather than destroy (in such a large piece it would be too discouraging and I would just give up). The blanket turned out beautifully and probably no one noticed. I remembered a video comparing handmade to machine work and they said in handmade items are small mistakes. That just made the decision to carry on easier.
Creativity, although it can aggravate perfectionism, can actually really break it down if you approach it like you did. I recently started coloring. Weirdly the spontaneity and mistakes in that process has helped my brain with writing.
"The world doesn't hate us at all for making something imperfect." That made me emotional. I have been trying to keep that in mind whenever I draw and it was powerful hearing it come from someone else. I have been trying to teach myself that lately. I can see an artist do an illustration that I enjoy that might have a wonky hand or clumsy lines and I will still love what they have made but if I do something of equal quality it's all I can see and my brain screams, "EVERYONE IS STARING AT YOUR FLAWS." so I redraw and redraw and redraw until I spend 6 hours on something that should have taken 2. Really though the only person who is paying attention to my mistakes is me. Great video and great advice, definitely gonna check out more of your work.
Omg........ it's like you spoke my thoughts....wth?! I'm the same. I rarely ever criticize art. I love all forms of it. I love the "perfectionist" lines and the "wonky" style. I love super rendered animations and artwork that looks like children's drawing. But I just don't love anything that I do....or love myself :/
I've heard of the 80/20 rule before. It's about the fact that 80% of the work costs 20% of the energy and the last 20% to make it perfect will cost you 80% of your energy. Now, I'm an absolute perfectionist and haven't taken these thoughts by hart yet. But I'm gonna try to remind myself of this more. Thanks
Your work, especially an artistic one, has value only in the eyes of the people who enjoy it. You will eventually get tired of your works once they're finished becouse all the effort behind.Your art is for others, and you don't know theyre feeling of perfection. It's an aproximation and it needs to be done like that. 70% for you is maybe 110% for the guy who needed it in that mmoment.
'.... it's a lot more comforting to just not start.' Wow. Lightbulb moment for me. I couldn't figure out why I wouldn't start something when I had been excited to do it. This helps me so much 💞 Thank you 💟👍
I’m not only a perfectionist I’m also impatient and it holds me back so much it’s infuriating. But this video gives me a new perspective on the perfectionist issue 😄
I never thought I was a perfectionist because i assumed perfectionists were perfect, and I never finished anything perfectly. I now see that's exactly what a perfectionist would think. Oh boy.
this reminds me of when i was in middle school and the highest score my art teacher would give was a 99, and i’d get so upset and i asked her why she always gave 99’s and she said because we need to learn even if you try your hardest or follow all the instructions there’s no such thing as perfection and there will always be something to pick apart, but that doesn’t mean it’s not still good
You understand me more than most people in my life ever have! I spend far too long deliberating over every decision in my life, which really zaps my leisure time (that I don't allow myself to have unless I finish those ToDo's). The hardest part is that even if I spend far too many hours researching to make a decision or tweaking what I wrote, when the result is imperfect I berate myself for not taking more time to make a better choice... when in reality, the other choices were just as (if not more) flawed.
You are a genius! I don’t know how I found this video but I needed it so bad 😩 everything you mentioned just screams my name 😂 I’ve been doing 1 section of my portfolio for over 2 weeks now ...the deadline is 1.30pm today 🥴 I still feel shite. GUYS I’M AIMING FOR THE 70% RULE RIGHT NOW! Wish me luck on not overthinking my ability & finally finishing it before my birthday ❤️ peace & love x
"If I can't make this video perfectly, why should I make it at all" - yes! I can relate so much. I made a video on perfectionism too recently and then I bashed myself because it wasn't a perfect video on perfectionism
I felt so mediocre that I didn’t even realize I’m a perfectionist, a lot of different advice and experiences just clicked with the way you worded them and illustrated them, I can finally chill the f down, thanks
Whenever my therapist mentioned perfectionist, I kept saying nope, I can't see that in myself, but I just had an idea of perfectionism that didn't match up the mediocrity that I perceived in myself, so I totally understand where you're coming from!
I needed to hear this. Especially the last quote. I literally almost cried. I've been afraid of drawing because I think it won't be good enough. But the people who are better than me are practicing everyday regardless. I needed to hear this. Thank you
yeah i bought paint brushes and a notebook months ago but i just cant paint because i dont like the ones i painted before.i get angry at myself because im not drawing good and then i get angry because im not drawing at all
"Your body of work is only as good as the projects you finish." Gosh deifnitely hurts. I've started so many and finished none of my stories, and they're not things I can even claim having done because they never left my folder!
Ok, with this video you got promoted from "Greatest RUclipsr" to "Spirit Animal" in my book. I found your channel some weeks ago; I can't thank you enough for making yourself public and vulnerable; and in doing so, helping us and setting such a great and inspiring example.
yo, the way you explain things is literally... fucking brilliant. every single video of yours that i've watched literally leaves me with that "holy shit i finally understand" feeling. you literally out here being a ray of shining hope for people just by living your best life. and thats what im trying to do, be my best self so i can spread the vibes. love what your doing man, seriously i cant thank you enough for sharing these nuggets of gold. in a way that very few motivational speakers can convey.
the quote i've drilled into my head is "Action is self-correcting." just starting, just taking that first step is enough to kickstart the process of being better at that thing. You'll learn all the nuances eventually, just start it and you'll eventually go the right way.
An English teacher I had in college for creative writing gave us some advice for writing. He said “just start writing, it can be the at the middle or the end it doesn’t matter. Just write something.” He is the author of Flowers for Algernon which was made into the movie “Charlie” some time ago. I took his advice and he gave me an A and read my short story to the class calling it extremely original. - Another bit of good advice I had from a journalism/advertising professor in college was to learn not to procrastinate then go to work for a newspaper. I did that and faced an immovable deadline every single day for 18 years. I struggle in a lot of other areas of my life with chronic procrastination, but that job was perfect for me because it doesn’t matter if I have 10 days, or 10 hours or 10 minutes, I won’t do it until the very last second. This video is the first advice on this subject that actually makes sense to me and gives me hope that I can accomplish some things. Good luck to you!
Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you. That short story, the one I which I got an A, I didn’t start writing it until 2 hour’s before class and it was also a first draft. I don’t think I could duplicate the results again.
can i just say: your videos are incredibly inspirational. the way that you combine art and self development is so entertaining and joyful. keep going, people out here really love what you do
I found your channel today and my mind is kinda blown! I’ve spent sooo much money on therapy and feel like you hit so many nails on the head, that’s really a special talent 💕 thank you for loosening up the anxiety knot I constantly have in my chest just a tiny bit!
This whole concept really hit home when I watched the movie about folk artist Maud Lewis "Maudi"...she just kept painting and was not burdened by perfectionism and became a Canadian treasure and also got better and better with each painting. I remarked how her output was part of what made her popular. If she'd been worried about her art, she would have never been discovered. Thank you for the video.
When I was in high school I was such a perfectionist that I’d rip out a page if I wrote something I wasn't completely happy with and rewrite the whole thing all over again... And I'd do that MORE THAN ONCE 😔 Discovering white out was amazing 💖
As a kid, I used to waste so much paper trying to draw the "Perfect Circle", until I got older & learned how to sketch a circle & kept working around that sketch to the way I felt was complete. In other words, don't be stuck in one way trying to jump to completion, find other ways to help you reach success!
This is brilliant, the quantity over quality part is something I had never thought of! I've gotten in the habit of working toward "good enough", instead of perfect. I've been known to wear holes through my drawings in pursuit of perfect. 😅
I'm literally crying out of happiness right now, because you have no Idea how easier this made my life. Just not having the self pressure to achieve 90-100% and "failing" and accepting the new goal of 65-75% because I'm able to get there, saved my mental health. Thank You!
The whole during a task thing of “abandoning the old one and starting a new one” LITERALLY ME istg it’s so annoying and then after the task I get annoyed at myself for not finishing the previous one
My dad used to say something similar, “shoot for a 100%, and you’ll get just shy” kind of excepting that it won’t be perfect even if you shoot for the 100%.
I was literally procrastinating on reading a book about procrastinating when this video popped up, if that ain’t a sign I don’t know what is haha 😅 You have a beautiful soul struthless and it shines through. I’m very appreciative of you and what you bring to this world. Thank you!!
This is the most realised comment section I've ever seen... Man I see you've changed loads of people's lives.. Including mine..... Thank you for freeing me from my own prison
@@AlexisTwoLastNames I'll let you know when I figure it out. Thing about being high neurotic is that you think you're a realist. But you're really not.
@@madwilliamflint is anyone a realist actually? reality is diff for all of us, and something that’s real to someone may not exist for someone else. i’m curious abt your pov.
@@AlexisTwoLastNames Eh. That's not accurate. There's nothing that's "real for someone and not for someone else." Things either exist or they don't. Relativism is just a head game people play with themselves to try and get out of dealing with uncomfortable truths. MEANING can be different, what frightens you may bore me. But the thing is still there.
My best sketches were made on scrap paper, because I didn't want to ruin a good sheet.
Yeah that too!
! This is all so life altering, seeing this big hidden universe of OTHERS with the same mental workings etc.... i have always thought I was super weird
OMG I thought I was the only one!
When I was a kid, my parents would buy me sketchbooks because they knew I loved drawing but I always opted to draw on scrap papers instead because I didn't want to waste a good sketchbook just in case my drawings turned out ugly. I always told myself that I'd draw on them once I was good enough and realized to this day, most of my sketchbooks are either untouched or barely halfway drawn on.
dude. same
Same here, but I'm not a very good artist anyway soo...
@@ninakim9832 this!!!!!!!!!!!
“Perfectionism comes from shame” My whole life makes since now.
Μood sis
This hit hard
Sending love your way. I've been through the same
Same. I'm filled with so much shame day to day, mostly coming from my prolonged lack of expression since the late 2000s and my failure to be able to show the best of myself to my fans.
Saaaame
I’ve always heard “everything worth doing is worth doing poorly” because even attempting it is better than never starting
Eh, I wish my brain worked that way.
Mostly because if I do it, and it turns out poorly, then I never try it again, because it's obvious I don't have any natural talent in that particular subject, and the work and time spent to develop my awful skills would be better spent on things I'm already good at
I had never heard of that, I'll try to keep it in mind.
@michaelandrews “Dude, suckin’ at something is the first step to being sorta good at something.” - Jake the Dog
Better done than perfect
Ye..sounds about right!
“The world isn’t going to hate you for making something less than perfect” that HIT
yeah but online trolls will temporarily hate-mail you
@Jasmine yeah same
My boyfriend has told me this before and my answer always is "they won't, but I will"... you can imagine how I'm doing!
You've obviously never been online LOL.. Trying being less than perfectly PC on youtube and see how that flies. Just one racist comment, even in humor, will end you.
The world and the Internet are pretty unforgiving places
You know you've got a problem when you choke up as he says "Your worth is not defined by your accomplishments".
This 😂
yeah. i'm seriously struggling. thought i was getting better, but i took like four steps back recently and i'm hoping this video reminds me of something good or worthwhile. hope life gets better for you, dude.
Not a problem, just a coming home. Feel. Question it. Feel again, know that it will be better. Give yourself time. Choking is because you, Strutless, all on here, I, are part of that family.
You guys are the sweetest, thank you so much
I hate it when people are so gutted when they do something their parents wouldn’t approve of but like you shouldn’t be living your life for others you should live it doing what you want to do. Its sad really
I literally stopped editing the video I've been struggling with for the past 4 weeks to watch this video about how to stop procrastinating.
So that's why your video was late? GET BACK TO WORK!
Now I hope you finished it and it’s at least 70% perfect :3 ♥️
@Sylvers Volpe
Stop being so rude, people have lives outside of RUclips. This person isn't just a video making machine.
@@pentabump Surely, SURELY.. the partial "all caps" and tone of the comment was very clearly dripping with sarcasm and jest. No? I have to actually explain what a joke is?
Right. That was a joke. Your heart is in the right place. But you misread the situation.
@@SylversVolpe
Oh ok sorry I'm dumb lol
This dude really just read me like a book. I never thought my perfectionism and 'I give up' behavior were linked, I always just thought it was weird since they're like opposites of each other. On one hand I want to complete something perfectly or I"ll feel terrible and worthless but then I also never feel like it'll be good enough so I just don't do anything or give up early on
100%!!!
ouch
Its called Perfective Procrastination.
@@beatsg i swear to god... i ruined my past 3 years of life with this shit. It's so draining and dissapointing. Feels like i am forever stuck in this circle.
@@dobrilakaradzic5907 I feel like I've ruined my past 10-15 so I mean, you're doing better than me.
"Laziness is not the cause of procrastination. Fear of failure is."
I've known this in my bones for a few years, but it's so hard to get past that struggle. I try to tell myself that it doesn't matter what I'm doing or why, so long as I'm doing it.
An eye-opening video. Thank you for your thoughts.
Same bro, just remember that you always have to try. And if you fail, try again. And if you succeed you'l feel so fckn good.
The fear of success as well
and the laziness to get out of your comfort zone!!!
This is so true! I struggle with procrastination and I also have a major fear of failure. Things finally make sense.
Same here but, i f you're afraid to fail and afraid to try, then you're afraid to succeed.
As an artist:
"Is it 70% perfect?"
"...No..."
"Is it 70% a failure?"
"...No...
:)"
This is really wonderful 😭
nice
ik the feeling
To my parents anything less than 100% is a failure... that’s why I’m so fucked up ...
@@greencupcakes1 let go of their judgements/opinions, of their power over you so you can be free and create awesome art :)
"Perfectionism is not the way; it is in the way." Merchandise this. It's awesome.
Also, the lack of coarse swear words makes me so happy to share this. I'm no language prude, but the lack of expletives really does ameliorate the discourse. It's like wearing a suit before the judge. It doesn't make you more innocent, it just helps the judge rule out visual prejudices. Being edgy is impossible these days; may as well be interesting. Which you absolutely are.
Thank you! Also thanks about the swear words - which is intentional! I think it was Mike Birbiglia or Jerry Seinfeld, but one of them said to try comedy without swearing and see how good you really are. So this is nice to have it recognised 😊😊
Yep, much easier to share w/o swear words, thank you!
@@JoanOfArgghh The lead singer of Linkin Park - Chester once said in an interview that “Hybrid Theory does not follow a trend set up by a lot of other bands in that it doesn't contain any curses or swear words. This was because the band wanted to write lyrics honestly and they thought that unnecessary swear words take away attention from the music." He also said “that it’s harder to write songs by NOT adding in swear words and other bands add them in just to try and sound cooler.” So yes @struthless has got the intricate point across clearly by not taking away attention from the message with swearing. Soo tempting to swear at the end of this comment now😆
@@struthless Good point about the swear words although I didn't even think about it until I read the comments! Anyway I love this video dude great job and your way of speaking is very compeling, there is really a lot of quality on your production overall. I subscribed at one video. peace out!
So needed to hear this as a chronic perfectionist. I've wasted years turning ideas over and over in my head when I could have been acting on them. Such a waste... can't do that anymore.
This video is a blessing to me. I'm a serious victim too
samee
I can't stop crying. I couldn't have found this at a more fitting time. I've managed to procrastinate for years in something I'm extremely passionate about... And when he said that procrastination comes from shame and that my work is not my worth something kinda broke inside of me...
I was gonna write a longer story for this but who cares in the end... This just hit too hard
Please do write that story, however long 😉
I’d love to hear it. I have the same problem with procrastination things I’m actually passionate about to the point where I question my passions. I’ve lost a lot of creative years and almost lost my secondary education because of this anxiety. I’m gonna give this 70% rule a go.
we care. make something beautiful
I'm suffering the same. Lost a lot of creative years due to extreme perfectionism and shame
I'll tell my story if it's to encourage anyone else in telling theirs. If not then I guess it may be something to relate to but it's pretty short and simple.
I have been wanting to write and create my own music for 6 years. I have actually completed 1 song in that time due to fear of failure and not being good enough. I'm only 21, so I still have time but I've always felt behind cause a lot of people I know around me at my age and mainly younger is starting a business, or starting a family, or buying a house or has a good job etc. I'm still staying with my parents. I don't have a job. I don't have a significant other. I feel incredibly worthless because I've spent the last 6 years just living in fear. But fear of what exactly? Criticism? I invite criticism to improve. My issue is I don't create to be critiqued to see that improvement.
THE 70% RULE WORKED. CAN YOU BELIEVE IT. I HAD TO WRITE AN ESSAY, AND I WANTED TO WRITE THE BEST EVER ESSAY BUT I COULDN'T GET STARTED. THE 70% RULE WORKED.
Fabulous!
Not 80/20?
Congratulations, and what a great show of courage to push past your hesitations. I salute you!
Extra tip:
I learned this from "Atomic Habits" by James Clear.
Have you ever realised that almost all the habits you tried to create in the past, like exercising, studying, reading, you don't actually do anymore? Or when you plan to do your assignment but find yourself not doing anything until right before deadline where you spend the whole day doing it? The answer might be procrastination.
When trying to build a habit, the 2 minute rule really helps to stop with procrastination. Start with a very simplified version of that habit or in other words, a 2 minute version, then build your way up. You procrastinate doing that assignment because you think it's a hassle to write that 30 paragraph essay. Instead of thinking like that, think that you will just write 1 sentence. When you feel like you can do more, that's the best time to stop.
For example: Let's say you want to start going to the gym. The biggest mistake people make, is that they get very motivated and enthusiastic which makes them do their best and try as hard as possible. Then the next day they get a bit lazy, and couldn't do as well as the previous day. Then the next they do the same thing. Then after a month they fully stopped.
Instead of going full on 2 hours at the gym, do it for 2 minutes instead. It doesn't necessarily have to be that exact time, the point is that you do a simplified version of the habit. Point is that you master the art of "showing up" itself(this video also said that the most difficult part is to show up). It's not that you can't do it for 2 hours again after doing it for one day, but it's that you don't even show up to the gym because of your procrastination. If you instead just try to first create a habit of showing up to the gym, you would be able to then upgrade that easy habit into something better.
Imagine just reading one page of a book. It's not that big of a deal isn't it? You wouldn't procrastinate just reading one page would you? Now imagine doing what you've always done, and try to imagine reading for 3 hours. You would get all lazy and procrastinate right? After getting an inch of motivation, you instantly try to do it for as long and as hard as possible until your motivation fades. So instead of doing that, just read a page until could do it without a second thought. Then try to go for 5 pages, Then 7, Then 10, and so on. Finally, you would reach your previous attempt to read for hours in a day but this time you would not procrastinate at all.
One more thing, there is also something called a "Habit Tracker" that I learned from that book.
Get a calendar, and circle the date if you did your habit you were going for that day. Try to get as long of a streak as possible. Missing one day is fine, but don't EVER miss 2 days in a row.
IMPORTANT NOTE: You can circle it even if you just, let's say, read a paragraph from a book. Or just doing one pushup. Point is that you make yourself think the habit is easy to do, and you do it everyday.
Was that an entire Matt D’Avela script? ;)
Thank you, man. I'm gonna download that book right now. :3
Reminds me of that one quote from Bojack Horseman... "It gets easier. Every day, it gets a little easier. But you gotta do it every day. That's the hard part. But it does get easier."
Yeah since I read this book it's been half a year and I still haven't missed a day of reading books
@Isabelle Gomez well for example, let's say you want to read books. If you read even just one page today, you circle today on the calendar. If you read again tommorow, you circle that day again on the calendar. Just try to get as long of a streak as possible because seeing it directly makes us not want to break the streak of that reading everyday
This made me think of a joke my dad would always tell me if I was getting too hard on myself: what do you call someone who graduated medical school last in their class? ... Doctor
Wise man your father!!
In nursing school our motto was "B's get degrees" 😂
Great insights. I tell my kids “done is better than perfect” particularly when it comes to schoolwork. Getting 0% because you didn’t turn in an assignment really sets you back. When it comes to art and music, the process can be the reward. Imperfections are often interesting and beautiful. But if you’re a perfectionist, it’s tough to change your mindset. I really enjoyed your video!
Nice practice. My father used to say "do it well or don't do it at all" now I'm a perfectionist who don't do things 💀
I almost put this video in my "watch later" playlist, then I realized...
Same
... I've had this in my watch later for months 😌
SAME omg
@@cheddarharpy same
Hahah I feel you
My rule is "aim to learn something instead of perfection" when doing my own thing. Learning can only happen when making mistakes. Just think Art is not Surgery.
This is really good!
this kind of thinking really help-me start working on decade old projects, and learning to code.
If you ever watch those real life surgery shows you'll also realize that surgery is more art than science, LOL 😋. How they just hack away to open someone's chest or do a nose job etc.
@@BitsOfInterest Well yeah it is sculpting in a way XD
same
I used to wonder why and how the hell anyone could take on inktober variations because the thought of making a Good Drawing every day for a MONTH was crazy. I usually spend at least 2 hours a day for 4 days making just one drawing, and even that doesn't turn out very good. It seemed like the most inefficient thing ever. Who knew the solution was to just make more drawings even if they're bad.
My thought exactly.
MMM I get bored with my drawings after an hour or so and draw new one, I rarely finish anything :"D
You know? Same with mine. I drew last night but when I wanted to finish inking it I stopped and not motivated at all.
Just a way i use is not to judge my drawings as GOOD or BAD . They are just drawings !
i don't draw to show off , or to have a very nice drawing , but because i REALLY love to draw . "good" ones may come along the way . but i'm equally as happy with the "bad" ones !
and remember : Failure is a sign that shows you're trying . Hope this helps .
but they gave inktober themes a month before, didn't they? so maybe artists made art pieces and just post every day in October
My mom always taught me: don’t do anything if you can’t do it well
Huh, I wonder why I suffer with procrastination and perfectionism?...
This is so backwards! So hard to unlearn these things, but you can do it!! 🙌
My dad told me that. I think, subconsciously, I let that become my excuse.
Same same same, ohhhh I hate it when they tell me that... 😒
Same, just gotta unlearn that 😞
Anything worth doing is worth doing wrong first.
"Your body of work is only as good as the projects you FINISH" - I printed this out and put it up on my wall where I work. Thank you!
Can you please kindly explain this line to me? English is not my native language so I'm kind of confused
@@bellairene9023 it basically means that even if you have the best skills, knowledge, or experience, people aren't gonna know about it or recognize those wonderful qualities unless you show them.
So, when you finish a project, that's when you can be known and recognized.
Basically what that quote means.
@@onuohaudeagha1255 Thank you so much for explaining! I can clearly understand it now. Have a great day!
@@bellairene9023 welcome!
I like this idea. i'm going to just vandalise a wall and write this quote.
As someone trying to replace my addiction to drugs with an addiction to art, you are my favorite channel. I have felt like every artist on RUclips expresses their daily life as a calm artistic bubble, while you discuss actual challenges many others may have gone through and empathize greatly. You’re awesome bro.
Funny how this applies to other things in life too; I have real bad anxiety to go outside and do certain stuff (groceries, picking up my meds, go to appointments etc) and because I was too scared to do it myself (and I was afraid to fail) I always let someone else do it.. But today, for the first time in weeks (and with a calming tablet lol) Ive managed to pick up my own meds ( my mom drove me there since Im not alowed to drive with those meds) at first I was so frustrated it didn't go "perfect" since I was shaking and still really nervous whilst being there.. but after I came home my sister showed me this video and I realised I actually did really well; it was easily over 70%, so why should I be disappointed?? Im so happy I managed to go outside, go all the way to the pharmasist and even picked up my own meds.. this way of thinking really helps with the healing proces and makes me realise I shouldnt be so hard on myself if it didn't go 100%.. I will always have bad days.. but I should be really proud of myself when I achive something hard, even if it didn't go "perfect".. and remember those better days
Edit: I never expected so many kind reactions.. thank you all so much! :)
Well said! You rocked it and inspired me, thank u 💓
@@AnneWilkynson aww thank you for your kind words 🤗☺️
I'm so proud of you!! Keep going love ❤️❤️
It's nice to hear that, it's such a small thing but has a very positive impact on the body and mind imo. It may stress you out at that moment but thinking back at the achievement compensates for that. I completely understand your situation as I have been in a very similar one a while back, but looking at it now I see that the more I let other people do things for me the more I let myself be comfortable with not doing it which only leads to sinking deeper and deeper into anxiety, depression, or whatever is stopping a person. As soon as I did a few things of the same importance as you mentioned(seemingly small for an outsider, but huge for you) I started to realize this and over time it actually helped me because with that I also realized no one can ever help me as much as I can help myself❤️ I know it may not be completely related to what you said but someone may read this and get something helpful out of it
Yes, you should be proud, a positive mindset is important. 👍 And things will get better each time ☺️
I really needed this. I failed my whole semester all because I was trying to perfect them to the tea and I ended up missing the submission date all coz I was so caught up in perfecting my assignments. Thank goodness I have a chance to redeem myself before the academic year starts in Feb to resubmit those assignments. I'm definitely going to remember the 70% rule. thank you =)
This is me rnnnn
Someone told me this year "C's get degrees" it's my new mantra...but only works when I remember to think of it 😅
SAMEEE! We got this next semester c:
Gotta check back here in 4/5month time 😅
@@sarahprosecco 😂😂😂 C's get degrees! So true
I'm like : How to make the 70% perfectly? 🥴
just make 70% of 70%- 😂
@@cheeseycheezy I'm imperfectly confused 😕
LMAO
@@cheeseycheezy hahahah exactly what my lazy ass was thinkin, if 70% is the new 100% then i should make 50% of that and i'll be fine 😀
And how do you know it’s at 70% when actually at 97% stressing
“Your body of work is only as great as the projects you finish.”
I both appreciate and hate you. 😂❤️
"your body of work is defined by the projects you finish" damn that's going on a sticky note in front of my desk thanks man
The wall behind him is a visual proof of him being a perfectionist. The wall, supposedly dotted randomly, yet when you pay attention, you see every color is carefully placed perfectly like different gas molecules perfectly diffused in air.
only three minutes in and 'your worth is not determined by what you accomplish' shook me to my core wew we're in for some trauma unpacking today fellas
I can't agree with that, though. Everything I've seen and experienced has shown me that (as a man) if you're useless, you won't garner respect, and therefore will be seen with less value than those around you. You'll be like a pet; maybe liked (as you're inoffensive), but not held in any esteem and won't be actively missed.
@@sirnonapplicable Nah dude, those sound like bad friends. My friends value my worth based on me as a person, not achievements, be weird as shit if they did honestly.
Besides, the bar for achievements is individual. If you're depressed as fuck, getting out of bed is an achievement. If you came from an abusive house and you break the cycle of abuse, that's an achievement. Who gives a shit about a piece of paper that cost you 5 years of your life and gives you lifelong debt. It's not like it gives you a leg up anymore. We aren't all doctors or rocket scientists and that's alright. Stop comparing yourself to other people and look at where you started compared to where you are now man. Any progress is still progress. And seriously, find some better friends who don't make you feel like trash.
@@Sufficio I should have been more specific: potential SOs care about that, friends not so much. Not sure why I was so vague.
@@sirnonapplicable Man, there's good potential SO's out there for you too. Keep looking. The ones who are worth anything aren't going to only value you for your achievements. Ideally your SO should be one of your best friends imo. Try aiming more for making friends with similar interests and then if it turns into more, awesome! If not, you made a friend. I feel like going into it only looking for a partner is a rough way to go about things and puts a lot of pressure on the whole situation.
"Your body of work is only as good as the projects you finish." Holy crap I felt that! Thank you for another clearly explained, paradigm shifting, really helpful video.
when you said : aim for 70% I felt shook, I can't imagine that, it sounds so mediocre and so complacent and so... repulsive. I know I'll try it because 70% perfect, is better than 100% unhappy, or 0% accomplished, that's how 4 decades of my life have gone. But it hurts.
Same here
You're definitely not alone, bruh)
@Heberth R. I am 41 and have this profile pricture :)
@Heberth R. what are u, a kid? anyone can like anime/any other stuff, ain't age restrictive lol
As Warren Buffett says "Good enough is perfect".
Or was it Allan nation?.. Anyway
Perfectionism comes from shame. Mind blown. I was today years old when I finally learned this.
I've struggled with this for a short period of time. And according to your logic, I'm actually having a 1% rule. I just start whatever I have on my mind and go from there. I don't try to assess if it's a good idea and I consider the whole process to be a huge mess anyway, that I try to save somehow.
As you said yourself, starting is the hardest. So by having no expectations before starting, you can't mess up, as you already expect to mess up (does that make sense?)
My motto is "don't think, just do and critically assess when it's done"
So true..I've been struggling with procrastination, perfection and distractions for a while now and it's just slowed my work process down. Anyway I just told myself lastnight to just do it without thinking. Think afterwards 🙈 just get it done. I just i need to get 4 more thumbnail sketches done for my clients book and that's it. That's what I'm doing today after my workout without thinking. The pressure and feeling overwhelming is less daunting when I think about it in that way.. so yea.. I'm going to get started in the next 2 hrs from now.🤞🏽🙏🏽
I love this point of view! Thanks for sharing :)
You said "asses"
@@willguggn2 whoops! corrected it now! XD
@@Unukadesign LOL. If my barrier to entry was 1% and I chased every idea that came to me, I'd literally never finish anything because I have so many new ideas every day while I'm working on whatever I'm working on. But yeah, it is super helpful to just start and not try to worry too much about whether it'll be amazing, or whether it'll work out.
You probably don’t read too many of your comments on your old videos anymore, but on the off chance you do see this, I just wanted to say, as a random fellow human walking around and living on the other side of the planet, YOU’RE A TREASURE! You put into words so many of the things I struggle with and many of your suggestions and insights feel like the long lost keys to parts of my mind that I’ve long since given up on trying to unlock. The work you’re doing here is SO important and I want to thank you for all the effort and care you put into these videos. It means so much more than you could ever possibly imagine. Thank you!
I'm very happy for the experience that you got from this video, it was the same for me! Your comment is so so nice. Good luck with anything that you do 🫶🏼
I signed up to this channel for some sweet dank artwork. But what I got was the most valuable self help class my mental health has ever attended.
I know it sounds dumb, but im kinda afraid of giving up on my perfectionism... im scared of becoming too forgiving and lazy with myself and my work. I know it doesnt work like that, but it just the fear of the kind of failure and shame that perfectionism is protecting me from. It makes no sense, and i hate it, maybe the shame and hate will slowly melt away with years
It doesn't sound dumb. It's exactly what he's talking about. You're gonna have to decide if it's more important to you to live like this or to...to put it frankly...get over it.
It's just the brain. Bc the brain work math. Your Feelings are not there lokated. That's what it is to remember. Your Brain can only tell you that you where lazy wenn he saw it.(delay) The Brain trys to catch up Time that is already gone.... afterwords you can say 'damn that was lazy'. NEXT 'I did not like that lazy result'... NEXT: you will not do it again that way... that's learning.... learning by doing. Perfection is'nt real.... until you make it....
mooood
Recovering perfectionist here, and while I do have days of "oh my god, I've become the laziest person in the world *internal panic*" the reality is that I'm achieving as much (if not more) than I was before. I'm just not making myself sick doing it. Being able to zoom out and look at my collection of work (I make astrology, mental health, and anti-capitalist zines and am hoping to make videos eventually), rather than the micro-pieces of the work really helps.
And yes, time heals the hell out of perfectionism! I hope you get some space/time/grace to put the shame down and make some neat stuff (to the 70% mark) soon!
It will Anni, it will. It's what I wanted to answer. Time does make you milder on yourself. Plus, you're never a failure or lazy. It's your mind making you. You can't make that little voice shut up all the time but you do can prove it wrong. With being happy.
'understanding that perfectionism comes from shame'. Had to pause and go back to digest it properly. You said it so fast, like it's so obvious... but honestly that's an insane insight.
Yes....that struck me too!
Isn't it just?!
I pause so many times and end up crying while watching his videos too
Same here. I've read a lot of stuff about perfectionism to try and get my head around it and feel like I've made progress in some ways but this feels like the magic bullet that gets to the bottom of the problem. Sobering but grateful for it!
I had that insight from watching Teal Swan's work. I was impressed to see Struthless knows this stuff.
5:28 "There's probably a more efficient way..." spoken like a perfectionist :P
😂😂😂
I feel like I'm a perfectionist who makes absolutely crap work. I put in so much effort and at the end I'm like 😐can't even look at it
Me toooooo!
Same
Link your work and allow objective critiques. Most perfectionists view their baseline as crap work.
Same
It’s a common misconception that perfectionists actually end up doing amazing job. Even if or when we do, it’s still at expense of our well being. For me it’s giving up on my health, sleep, etc. So, generally speaking, the job is not done perfectly with such corresponding consequences.
I needed to watch this so much. I'm in the worst writer's block I've ever had. Even though I write so much, every paper and essay I present always receives so many compliments, but every single time I have to write something from scratch it gives me so much anxiety that I just can't do it. I feel so ashamed to even imagine letting someone read it, that I keep creating excuses to just never start. But today, with your video, I said to myself "omg, just sit down and fucking write something, not thinking about it, not judging, just write", and that's what I did and it worked :)
I’m here for writing too. I feel you
Omg everytime I make 4 or 5 sentences I always try and perfect the wording and grammar then spend an hour trying to perfect it then the cycle goes on 😭
Despite being a Christian, your problem being my problem is the exact reason I have "Because Dammit it's happening TODAY!" Taped to my wall.
“You can’t edit a blank page”
I have been struggling with this lately and I found it really helpful to reach out to my professor, advisor and therapist. I felt better after receiving feedback from them on how to make the process less daunting.
Let's not forget that when you keep working on a project to fix all the 'imperfections' you see, you often end up ruining it... :(
The most powerful thing I have done around my perfectionism is shifting my mindset. Instead of viewing the track in my head that always pointing out my mistakes as bad, it's the helpful voice in my head that tells me how I can improve. From that view, I have a better ability than most to learn from my project, work, experience, whatever. Now, my "perfectionism" is a strength.
Brilliant! You said once "Thinking about it is NOT the same as doing it!" That phrase has often helped me reason through my perfectionism-fueled-procrastination. I brought up perfectionism yesterday in a video - and this really is timely for me. Thank you!
1 + 1 = 1
'Thinking is not doing.' + 'Doing nothing is not thinking' = ZEN
In other words... if you want to ride a bike, you have to stop thinking about how it works... we don't have to understand life... it's already on (air)... let's go out there and have some fun! 🤪
Agreed! It’s helping me too 💗
- "Goes to a new restaurant after studying the menu online for at least 30min" "After eating, thinks that maybe I should've chosen dish X"
- "Spends hours browsing for art supplies and reading reviews because you want the best supplies"
- "Spends hours on producing a drawing, scans it in and edits it digitally for hours, prints it out and traces it onto the chosen paper and then spends hours on re-drawing it and refining it" "Has at least 2-5 drafts of the same drawing"
List goes on. Problem is, I don't really know what causes my perfectionism. My mum is kind of the same way. It doesn't reflect so heavily on day-to-day life but when it comes to creating something or relationships with other people, we tend to have very high standards. It's exhausting.
I find myself in your comment.. An I HATE it! Our life is so exhausting😑
It could be some generational trauma that comes from your mother side. Look up for epigenetics, you two may be able to pinpoint something.
We take on a lot of our parents behaviours even if we don’t directly experience them :/
MinnaM, I'm suffering exactly the same level of perfectionism. It sets me back and makes me wanna cry.
@@NourolHuda extremely exhausting. Makes me achieve little.
"Fear of tainting a pristine page." A KINDRED SPIRIT!!!
this is why i never draw 💀
Your videos are telling me basic stuff I feel I could’ve learned in elementary school but here I am sitting 20 years later feeling enlightened af by your basic 70% rule.
"If your fidelity for perfection is too high, you'll never get anything done" - David Foster Wallace
I was actually really anxious to click on this video in case I couldn't watch it perfectly enough. I'm going to try and persevere and watch it through. I normally cut experiences off early from fear, including watching videos. I'm worried about writing this comment for the same reason. But here I go, I think it's good enough.
This is exactly me!
You did good x
Guys, I've been dealing with mental health issues my whole life but you are still young and don't have to live this way. There are so many options out there for help. Find a professional and talk to them about these issues. You are NOT alone. Join a Facebook or Insta group where you can speak with other people that are struggling. Please do it before things get worse. There's a better way to live with or without anxiety and or depression or your particular demons. Take care of yourselves.
@@Glim246 well, I personally cant get professional help simply because it isn't accessible to me and honestly it the systems fault..and I am simply entering adulthood with the build up of years of trauma.. I guess the only way was to deal with it myself.
Agree with the idea of looking for professional help to figure out what's underlying these issues. For me, it turns out to be ADHD, which I got diagnosed with this summer, just before my 50th birthday! But if formal assessment isn't available to you right now, keep reading and learning bc self-assessment can be very helpful! Follow people on social media - for suspected ADHD, that includes people like How to ADHD, Dani Donovan, ADHD Alien, and Black Girl Lost Keys. By the time I got diagnosed I was already sure of what was going on, and was already applying strategies to overcome my limitations.
This video is such a relief for anxious people like me that tend to feel overwhelmed easily.
“perfectionism isn’t the way, it’s in the way” - love this
I’m almost 60. I wish I could have watched this video 40 years ago!
It’s never too late!
Remember KFC
Isn't it great that you found it at 60 instead of 70 though?
@@DonnaAndCats lol, good point, though.
But what if one finds it at 90 and not 100? 😜
That would be perfect, but story tells the other
These videos are actually saving my life. I’ve been binging them for the past 24 hours after I came to RUclips to escape suicidal thoughts. Bro. Honestly, I know your videos are technically about art (of which I try to do also), but the whole time I’m watching I’m also associating it with my everyday life. This is magic. Sending you so much love for giving me such valuable tools to live by. 🤍
This guys advice is epic and it’s helping me so much! I hope you’re doing well too!
I'm glad you came to watch his awesome videos. Good job fren.
art and self discovery are linked a lot because of this. When you produce art you need to confront these things or they will eventually make their way to sabotage you
Bought your book. Not because I needed it, but I wanted to support your channel and your work. Please dont't stop. Thx !
I always received comfort knowing that DaVinci never finished a piece. 😂
Thanks, Now I also feel the same.
Me too!
Perfection is a Process of Perpetual imProvement.
It would be a serious flaw to not leave room for ever greater accomplishments.
The more we know --- the more we realize that there is to know ...
There’s another rule that can help those who get stuck on things trying to make it perfect. The 80/20 rule. Basically you spend 20% of your energy making it 80% perfect and then you waste 80% of your energy trying to achieve that last 20%. I have no where near knocked that rule into my head but it still helped me ton so :)
Along with that, basically, is you get 80% of the value or profits from 20% of the effort/work. Translation: for the work for 80% of the value, trying to get the last 20% value can be as costly as turning down 4 more projects with the same amount of work/effort put into them that you put in 20% of the time/effort but get out 80% of the possible value/profit.
Damnit: mediocrity is very profitable!
His teeth is beautifully white...
I would say they’re about 70% perfectly white.
@@RyanTford Hahahaha you just made me laugh. Sharp.
... ARE beautifully white. Sorry, I’m a perfectionist 🙄
Which is weird and unnatural
I was here for the are lol...but didn't look at his teeth once, had to go look. I had to listen and not look the background was killing me with his shirt ahahhaha
I feel like most artists suffer from either perfectionism or imposter syndrome. Amanda Palmer’s book The Art of Asking helped me with imposter syndrome, she calls I the fraud police. Amazing book. Great video, I appreciate your motivation to help motivate others. Inspiring people is an act of service, I hope everyone benefits from.
Had that moment in knitting recently. Usually when you mess up you need to destroy a fragment or the whole work depending on where the mistake was. I was learning to knit a new pattern on a blanket. At the very beginning I made a whole row of mistakes that made 3 next rows out of sync. I made a hard decision to carry on rather than destroy (in such a large piece it would be too discouraging and I would just give up). The blanket turned out beautifully and probably no one noticed. I remembered a video comparing handmade to machine work and they said in handmade items are small mistakes. That just made the decision to carry on easier.
Creativity, although it can aggravate perfectionism, can actually really break it down if you approach it like you did. I recently started coloring. Weirdly the spontaneity and mistakes in that process has helped my brain with writing.
I love this! And i’m glad u carried on
"The world doesn't hate us at all for making something imperfect." That made me emotional. I have been trying to keep that in mind whenever I draw and it was powerful hearing it come from someone else. I have been trying to teach myself that lately. I can see an artist do an illustration that I enjoy that might have a wonky hand or clumsy lines and I will still love what they have made but if I do something of equal quality it's all I can see and my brain screams, "EVERYONE IS STARING AT YOUR FLAWS." so I redraw and redraw and redraw until I spend 6 hours on something that should have taken 2. Really though the only person who is paying attention to my mistakes is me.
Great video and great advice, definitely gonna check out more of your work.
Omg........ it's like you spoke my thoughts....wth?! I'm the same. I rarely ever criticize art. I love all forms of it. I love the "perfectionist" lines and the "wonky" style. I love super rendered animations and artwork that looks like children's drawing. But I just don't love anything that I do....or love myself :/
This hit me hard. I've been told that I'm "too" academic, "too" detail oriented, "too" perfect. And my response was "Is that even a problem?".
I've heard of the 80/20 rule before. It's about the fact that 80% of the work costs 20% of the energy and the last 20% to make it perfect will cost you 80% of your energy. Now, I'm an absolute perfectionist and haven't taken these thoughts by hart yet. But I'm gonna try to remind myself of this more. Thanks
Your work, especially an artistic one, has value only in the eyes of the people who enjoy it. You will eventually get tired of your works once they're finished becouse all the effort behind.Your art is for others, and you don't know theyre feeling of perfection. It's an aproximation and it needs to be done like that. 70% for you is maybe 110% for the guy who needed it in that mmoment.
Thank you for sharing this, I like that way of thinking!
WOW. That's brilliant. Thank you for that!
'.... it's a lot more comforting to just not start.' Wow. Lightbulb moment for me. I couldn't figure out why I wouldn't start something when I had been excited to do it. This helps me so much 💞 Thank you 💟👍
I’m not only a perfectionist I’m also impatient and it holds me back so much it’s infuriating. But this video gives me a new perspective on the perfectionist issue 😄
I never thought I was a perfectionist because i assumed perfectionists were perfect, and I never finished anything perfectly. I now see that's exactly what a perfectionist would think. Oh boy.
this reminds me of when i was in middle school and the highest score my art teacher would give was a 99, and i’d get so upset and i asked her why she always gave 99’s and she said because we need to learn even if you try your hardest or follow all the instructions there’s no such thing as perfection and there will always be something to pick apart, but that doesn’t mean it’s not still good
You understand me more than most people in my life ever have! I spend far too long deliberating over every decision in my life, which really zaps my leisure time (that I don't allow myself to have unless I finish those ToDo's). The hardest part is that even if I spend far too many hours researching to make a decision or tweaking what I wrote, when the result is imperfect I berate myself for not taking more time to make a better choice... when in reality, the other choices were just as (if not more) flawed.
You are a genius! I don’t know how I found this video but I needed it so bad 😩 everything you mentioned just screams my name 😂 I’ve been doing 1 section of my portfolio for over 2 weeks now ...the deadline is 1.30pm today 🥴 I still feel shite. GUYS I’M AIMING FOR THE 70% RULE RIGHT NOW! Wish me luck on not overthinking my ability & finally finishing it before my birthday ❤️ peace & love x
On your team. How did it go?
I don’t know why the RUclips algorithm gods sent this to me, but man, I needed it
that’s cause you’re watching RUclips too much and they know you’re procrastinating! just like meeeeee 😜
@@empathematics8928 the RUclips overlords know 😅
"If I can't make this video perfectly, why should I make it at all" - yes! I can relate so much. I made a video on perfectionism too recently and then I bashed myself because it wasn't a perfect video on perfectionism
this video feels super personal omg
'Perfectionism comes from shame'... I had such a profound f*ck-me-aha! moment that I had to step away from my computer and smoke 70% of a cigarette.
I felt so mediocre that I didn’t even realize I’m a perfectionist, a lot of different advice and experiences just clicked with the way you worded them and illustrated them, I can finally chill the f down, thanks
Whenever my therapist mentioned perfectionist, I kept saying nope, I can't see that in myself, but I just had an idea of perfectionism that didn't match up the mediocrity that I perceived in myself, so I totally understand where you're coming from!
this part - 5:21 "and if you interrupt the pattern enough times, you start to develop a new pattern"
I struggle w/ major self-criticism. Thanks for breaking this down and infusing your authenticity, creativity, and humor. Feeling inspired.
I needed to hear this. Especially the last quote. I literally almost cried. I've been afraid of drawing because I think it won't be good enough. But the people who are better than me are practicing everyday regardless. I needed to hear this. Thank you
yeah i bought paint brushes and a notebook months ago but i just cant paint because i dont like the ones i painted before.i get angry at myself because im not drawing good and then i get angry because im not drawing at all
"Your body of work is only as good as the projects you finish."
Gosh deifnitely hurts. I've started so many and finished none of my stories, and they're not things I can even claim having done because they never left my folder!
So true
I feel you
Good ideas grow like plants . some plants just take longer to produce the fruit . . .
Yeah I recorded many gameplay thinking I would edited it and post on RUclips , only for it to be in the folder for years. Same goes with my drawing .
This relate to much hahaha
Ok, with this video you got promoted from "Greatest RUclipsr" to "Spirit Animal" in my book.
I found your channel some weeks ago; I can't thank you enough for making yourself public and vulnerable; and in doing so, helping us and setting such a great and inspiring example.
yo, the way you explain things is literally... fucking brilliant. every single video of yours that i've watched literally leaves me with that "holy shit i finally understand" feeling. you literally out here being a ray of shining hope for people just by living your best life. and thats what im trying to do, be my best self so i can spread the vibes.
love what your doing man, seriously i cant thank you enough for sharing these nuggets of gold. in a way that very few motivational speakers can convey.
The way that this was more helpful than years of people trying to give me solutions but not telling me how to get there
the quote i've drilled into my head is "Action is self-correcting."
just starting, just taking that first step is enough to kickstart the process of being better at that thing.
You'll learn all the nuances eventually, just start it and you'll eventually go the right way.
I'm a writer and THIS MAKES SO MUCH SENSE. I'm always afraid of ruining the perfect idea that I have in my head by penning it down.
An English teacher I had in college for creative writing gave us some advice for writing. He said “just start writing, it can be the at the middle or the end it doesn’t matter. Just write something.” He is the author of Flowers for Algernon which was made into the movie “Charlie” some time ago. I took his advice and he gave me an A and read my short story to the class calling it extremely original. - Another bit of good advice I had from a journalism/advertising professor in college was to learn not to procrastinate then go to work for a newspaper. I did that and faced an immovable deadline every single day for 18 years. I struggle in a lot of other areas of my life with chronic procrastination, but that job was perfect for me because it doesn’t matter if I have 10 days, or 10 hours or 10 minutes, I won’t do it until the very last second. This video is the first advice on this subject that actually makes sense to me and gives me hope that I can accomplish some things. Good luck to you!
Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you. That short story, the one I which I got an A, I didn’t start writing it until 2 hour’s before class and it was also a first draft. I don’t think I could duplicate the results again.
@@marianrosenberg567 thank you 💖
@@marianrosenberg567 spontaneity helps bring out original content and thoughts, I've noticed that.
I saw a lot of videos about this mental health issue, but, only in your videos I heard exact words I needed to hear. Just a story of my life
can i just say: your videos are incredibly inspirational. the way that you combine art and self development is so entertaining and joyful. keep going, people out here really love what you do
THANK you so much 💞💞💞💞💞 love this
I found your channel today and my mind is kinda blown! I’ve spent sooo much money on therapy and feel like you hit so many nails on the head, that’s really a special talent 💕 thank you for loosening up the anxiety knot I constantly have in my chest just a tiny bit!
This whole concept really hit home when I watched the movie about folk artist Maud Lewis "Maudi"...she just kept painting and was not burdened by perfectionism and became a Canadian treasure and also got better and better with each painting. I remarked how her output was part of what made her popular. If she'd been worried about her art, she would have never been discovered. Thank you for the video.
When I was in high school I was such a perfectionist that I’d rip out a page if I wrote something I wasn't completely happy with and rewrite the whole thing all over again... And I'd do that MORE THAN ONCE 😔
Discovering white out was amazing 💖
That is like the perfect example of how stupid the whole concept is
Ugh SAME. I would rewrite my notes over and over and over.
@@viktoriab4293 Of course it's illogical and infuriating.
In 10 minutes you walked me through my self destructive perfectionism better than my therapist
As a kid, I used to waste so much paper trying to draw the "Perfect Circle", until I got older & learned how to sketch a circle & kept working around that sketch to the way I felt was complete. In other words, don't be stuck in one way trying to jump to completion, find other ways to help you reach success!
This is brilliant, the quantity over quality part is something I had never thought of! I've gotten in the habit of working toward "good enough", instead of perfect. I've been known to wear holes through my drawings in pursuit of perfect. 😅
I'm literally crying out of happiness right now, because you have no Idea how easier this made my life. Just not having the self pressure to achieve 90-100% and "failing" and accepting the new goal of 65-75% because I'm able to get there, saved my mental health. Thank You!
This channel has taught me more in 10 minutes than my university has in 2 years lol
The whole during a task thing of “abandoning the old one and starting a new one” LITERALLY ME istg it’s so annoying and then after the task I get annoyed at myself for not finishing the previous one
My dad used to say something similar, “shoot for a 100%, and you’ll get just shy” kind of excepting that it won’t be perfect even if you shoot for the 100%.
From one perfectionist to another, this video is PERFECT.
I was literally procrastinating on reading a book about procrastinating when this video popped up, if that ain’t a sign I don’t know what is haha 😅 You have a beautiful soul struthless and it shines through. I’m very appreciative of you and what you bring to this world. Thank you!!
One of the best explanations of perfectionism affecting procrastination.
“perfectionism is not the way, it’s in the way” I REALLY NEEDED TO HEAR THIS SO MUCH THANK U😭😭❤️
Brene Brown: "the world's mother" - I vote we put together a petition to make her adopt us all. Change starts with us.
This is the most realised comment section I've ever seen...
Man I see you've changed loads of people's lives.. Including mine..... Thank you for freeing me from my own prison
The curse of the high neurotic. It's brutal, but you're dead on.
yeah. what's the upside to being this way? is there one?
@@AlexisTwoLastNames I'll let you know when I figure it out. Thing about being high neurotic is that you think you're a realist. But you're really not.
@@madwilliamflint is anyone a realist actually? reality is diff for all of us, and something that’s real to someone may not exist for someone else. i’m curious abt your pov.
@@AlexisTwoLastNames Eh. That's not accurate. There's nothing that's "real for someone and not for someone else." Things either exist or they don't. Relativism is just a head game people play with themselves to try and get out of dealing with uncomfortable truths. MEANING can be different, what frightens you may bore me. But the thing is still there.
Then what happens is people presume their interpretation is objective, then project it on others.