Success is scarier than failure | Jemele Hill | TEDxPSU

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  • Опубликовано: 17 ноя 2024
  • We've been taught to fear failure, but in truth, we're more afraid of success. Here's how you learn to adapt a success-friendly mentality.
    Jemele Hill is a co-host for His & Hers, formerly Numbers Never Lie, with Michael Smith.Hill joined ESPN in November 2006 as a national columnist on ESPN.com. Before joining ESPN, Hill worked as a columnist for the Orlando Sentinel I and a sports writer with the Detroit Free Press. Hill began her career in 1997 as a general assignment sports writer for the Raleigh News & Observer.In 2007, Hill won the first annual McKenzie Cup, which is given in tribute to groundbreaking sports editor Van McKenzie, at the annual Poynter Media Summit. She also received an honorable mention in the 2007 edition of Best American Sports Writing. In 1998, Hill won first place in sports feature writing at the North Carolina Press Association. Hill is also a member of the National Association of Black Journalists.A native of Detroit, Hill attended Michigan State University and graduated in 1997 with a degree in journalism and a minor in Spanish.
    This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at ted.com/tedx

Комментарии • 210

  • @CoffeeBrainzz
    @CoffeeBrainzz 4 года назад +165

    Sometimes you feel the ALL the weight on your shoulders, thinking of the expectation/accountability success brings starts to feel stressful and scary

    • @tmiles9747
      @tmiles9747 3 года назад +6

      Currently 😵‍💫 I'm releasing the expectations 🕊️

    • @dorian7215
      @dorian7215 2 года назад +2

      That’s how I feel.

    • @fluffytail6355
      @fluffytail6355 Год назад

      Yes, I wonder how young celebrities (Taylor Swift, for example) handle the pressure of having the responsibility of providing livelihoods for so many people that depend on her success.

    • @rriver2668
      @rriver2668 Год назад +1

      That's exactly how I feel. There's that there's the people judging me and what they'll say about my password how I don't deserve what I have. I'm also afraid I'm having impostor syndrome. And it's probably the biggest fear on my heart.

  • @LorettaBangBang
    @LorettaBangBang 4 года назад +128

    This topic is SO important and yet pretty much overlooked! Success is terrifying to a lot of people without them even realizing. With an essential impact on their lives!

  • @dalton6173
    @dalton6173 2 года назад +62

    Also there is the fear of changing who you are as a person. The fear of the hate that comes with success, how your closest people might look at you & treat you differently. There is the fear of no privacy if you become successful enough.

  • @davinarose4015
    @davinarose4015 2 года назад +26

    I was legit embarassed till I realized how common if a struggle this is... thank you ❤ the success does feel achievable and it gives me anxious tbh and It feels like my heart is curling into a knot with my stomach. .

  • @Mason-ir3yi
    @Mason-ir3yi 8 лет назад +391

    Successful people have something to lose. Unsuccessful people has everything to gain ;)

    • @Lundahlium
      @Lundahlium 8 лет назад +24

      Successful people have won, losers have won nothing.

    • @cassiefredell6389
      @cassiefredell6389 6 лет назад +4

      Mason, u have the fear if success

    • @bigboobaaron2196
      @bigboobaaron2196 6 лет назад +9

      @@Lundahlium successful people are winning so they might still fall unsuccessful people are can still win even though they've never lost.

    • @thesoul2871
      @thesoul2871 6 лет назад +1

      😋

    • @thesoul2871
      @thesoul2871 6 лет назад +2

      @@cassiefredell6389 😂😂😂 these comments it's why I go to youtube

  • @triciabrathwaite9914
    @triciabrathwaite9914 4 года назад +19

    Watching this 5 years later still has the impact of the first day it was published. Thank you my sister. You are certainly a Queen.

  • @sweesiangtan3086
    @sweesiangtan3086 4 года назад +25

    Stop searching for the reasons you can't and START looking for the reasons you WILL.
    I WILL DO IT BECAUSE....

  • @zoartontheprotector9198
    @zoartontheprotector9198 3 года назад +22

    Success sets a standard that people expect, and when you fail people that know you notice. Essentially you fear disappointing everyone around you.

  • @melissab6976
    @melissab6976 6 лет назад +76

    I really loved this! What she said about writing was so spot on for me. I spent a good chunk of my life living off welfare, with a mentally ill mother and emotionally unavailable/exhausted father, growing up in a toxic religious environment that I never felt like I really belonged in.
    I used to write lots of stories about how I wished life could be, and I'm slowly putting together a series of autobiographical novels about my life and experiences so help others that are going through the same thing.
    No one in my family talked about mum's illness, despite how much it impacted everyone, and everyone in my family has only ever tried to live a normal and what I consider to be mundane life. I'm scared of succeeding because it means going against everything I've ever known and ever been taught, but I know that I've got a lot to share and give to the world, so I don't really have a choice to not succeed.

    • @viktoriapimentel9459
      @viktoriapimentel9459 4 года назад +4

      Oh my god I love THIS comment! Wish you all the best Melissa, can't wait to read your novels:)

    • @yogi30303
      @yogi30303 3 года назад +3

      so did you do it? Or are you still pursuing it?

    • @melissab6976
      @melissab6976 3 года назад +3

      @@yogi30303 still pursuing it, although it's been on the back burner for a while. It's definitely something I want to do.

    • @noreallyiam
      @noreallyiam 2 года назад +4

      Three years late but oh my goodness, I genuinely thought I wrote this and forgot. Here’s to you and your journey Melissa, all the way from my little room probably miles away. Somewhere out here is a person with a similar experience who is so thrilled to be a witness to whatever you do one day. :)

    • @loskerry2675
      @loskerry2675 2 года назад +1

      You got this!

  • @7shukur
    @7shukur 7 лет назад +20

    I am so scared of success, every time I am about to succeed I mess up. There is samething within me.

  • @nikecontd
    @nikecontd 2 года назад +7

    As a person who has been told they have potential for many diverse things and who lately has been following their dreams with unexpected success and positive feedback, I am in a state of shock most of the time or feeling on the verge of a panic attack. I'm extremely grateful and I consider myself lucky, at the same time I'm being put on some kind of higher stool and others started glorifying me by saying things like "You're the person others don't compare themselves to because it's just way too out of any league." - at the same time I really am just a normal person and I have troubles finding my place inbetween all of this.

  • @rasheeda1303
    @rasheeda1303 5 лет назад +39

    Success creates expectations/accountability(its imperative to ponder)

  • @rmgdmv2786
    @rmgdmv2786 9 лет назад +111

    Shout out to Jemele Hill, she's been a trailblazer for years now. She's balances her intelligence with a "homegirl you've known for years" personality that works well together. Much success!

    • @boknowsbaseball
      @boknowsbaseball 7 лет назад +2

      Tony Spade "Trailblazer"? Pretty bold word for someone who bullshits about sports for a living.

    • @shekukamara6421
      @shekukamara6421 7 лет назад

      Smart Jemela Hill. Thank you for this inspiring message.

    • @JaySparty1
      @JaySparty1 7 лет назад +1

      Have you ever read her articles in The State News? Do you know her history?

    • @mytunesnocopyright456
      @mytunesnocopyright456 7 лет назад

      +TEDx Talks
      Winner of a video, I have been researching "quote for future success" for a while now, and I think this has helped. Have you ever come across - Donaac Motivation Magnetar - (search on google ) ? Ive heard some decent things about it and my cousin got excellent results with it.

  • @kaybest4191
    @kaybest4191 4 года назад +16

    Cried at the point when she said both her parents had addiction issues Wow she is definitely a role model that speaks on her truths Very well done.

  • @LLO227
    @LLO227 Год назад +2

    8 years later and I finally got this message, thanks Miss Jemele ❤️

  • @shalzone_
    @shalzone_ 3 года назад +13

    people who really know how loosing feels like are the ones who win the the most

  • @melissaearl7770
    @melissaearl7770 5 лет назад +11

    The last thing you said truly hit home. I love your soul.

  • @coachcarter5554
    @coachcarter5554 9 лет назад +12

    Honest Joe your last comment was so on point. That women's personality and the way she conducts herself is exactly what makes her beautiful. I just need to run into her one time.

  • @Beingthankful
    @Beingthankful Год назад

    This actually made me cry ...

  • @ramprasadgude4981
    @ramprasadgude4981 2 года назад +1

    I had experienced it myself....Turn negatives into positives. Thank you

  • @LeilaGharani
    @LeilaGharani 6 лет назад +45

    Thank you for sharing your story in such a beautiful way.

  • @fluffytail6355
    @fluffytail6355 Год назад +1

    I am afraid of success. I know it sounds strange. I've always been an employee, just like my mother, but never a self-employed like my father. My mother had a stable life-long career as a Registered Nurse and made good money at it - enough to support my brother and I with all of our school and sports activities. She also had good benefits so we could see doctors, paraprofessionals, dentists and eye doctors. While Dad was a farmer, he never had benefits (he was covered under Mom's employee plan) and didn't have money for extras the family needed - his income only supporting his farming career and not the rest of the family's expenses. So, naturally, I received a lot of support to get an education with the goal of "getting a good job." As such, I did. I've spent 30 years working for someone else to make THEIR business successful while I've been told when to work and have had to beg for vacation days off at my schedule (boss' vacation days were always a priority with everyone else having to work around them) then came the boss' office pets whose vacation requests were always approved regardless of the ask. I've been at work when others left and kept the place going. This entire time, I envied my Dad's ability to work when he wanted, other than honoring the needs of the crops and the cattle. As I get older, I get more concerned about my career. No longer do I want to be supervised by people younger than me, whose needs prioritize mine. No longer do I want to be victimized by ageism in favor of younger colleagues who have the luxury of living at home and working for a smaller salary or be considered "overqualified" (a fancy term used to prevent me from being paid at a higher income bracket). I want to be self-employed but am fearful of having success after being punched down my entire life of people not believing in me - it affects my self-worth and self-belief - and to lose the "safety net" of having a regular income with benefits that makes me feel stable, a throwback to the stability my Mom had. I want to have the opportunity to be rewarded for my own efforts and to earn an income I deserve based on my work. I have much work to do on this, especially rebuilding my mental health and self-esteem to believe in myself again. Thank you for listening. Sometimes I need to just get things off my chest to be able to breathe again.

  • @curiouslymavismade
    @curiouslymavismade Год назад

    This was a beautiful speech from a beautiful woman, inside and out. Love me some Jemele Hill.

  • @ragibperwez
    @ragibperwez 6 месяцев назад

    Love this ted talk, and the wisdom she gave ❤ turn your negatives into positives. Thank you Jemele hill.

  • @James67851
    @James67851 2 года назад

    I got denied the job in at least 10 interviews for a Network Engineer, I really lost count but kept interviewing until I finally got the job. All of the interviews that I was denied the job only made me stronger for the next one. I became an expert at interviewing.

  • @jamiew1664
    @jamiew1664 4 года назад +6

    Hi jemele, just watched your video in my downtime at work here in Sydney Australia. You seem like a wonderful woman. Great video. I’m very talented but at the same time I’m absolutely petrified of success, so I end up wasting my talents. I plan to try and stop this before time runs out!

  • @ynotmi
    @ynotmi 9 лет назад +11

    this is why I know my choice to add/follow you and your career is moments like this, so proud of you!

  • @SoulLoveBase
    @SoulLoveBase 3 года назад +1

    i remember walking 20 minutes to our local newstand in Nongkhai to purchase the Bangkok Post hoping that the Vancouver Canucks had beaten the New York Rangers in Game 7. I remember it, and the distinct feeling I had when reading the results. That feeling will not leave me, not for nothing.

  • @FlipTheCatOfficial
    @FlipTheCatOfficial 3 года назад +5

    I relate to this feeling. And I’m even afraid of being more successful than my own parents. Her stories were interesting but it took over 8 minutes to actually talk about the actual fear of success.

  • @Sirhilyish
    @Sirhilyish 3 года назад +9

    Turn the negative into positive ; that's so good. Thanks for sharing your story . Very inspiring :-)

  • @asiadorsey7969
    @asiadorsey7969 2 года назад

    Turning negatives into positives. Thank you so much Jemele!

  • @supremelord964
    @supremelord964 8 лет назад +77

    she is so beautiful

    • @AppleSlicesUnite
      @AppleSlicesUnite 7 лет назад +1

      Math God yes she is.

    • @scottt2012
      @scottt2012 7 лет назад +1

      Math God yes, very pretty

    •  7 лет назад +3

      She's fugly.

    • @melissaearl7770
      @melissaearl7770 5 лет назад +1

      @ behold the smarty pants and his idea of beauty....

  • @Bigbrotheriswatchingus
    @Bigbrotheriswatchingus 5 лет назад +1

    Ok, this hit home....so why am I crying.....

  • @wellbodisalone
    @wellbodisalone 4 месяца назад

    For some, being successful means that they can lose everything they built in a blink of an eye, and prefer not to take their chances.

  • @gino6658
    @gino6658 3 года назад +3

    Thank you for this!

  • @dinorahhenriquez7295
    @dinorahhenriquez7295 7 лет назад +2

    Wow deep words a wiser way of turning the negatives things in life and use them as your path through sucess.Blessings.

  • @markblackhurst6925
    @markblackhurst6925 Год назад

    Luckily I never have success. I’ve never been promoted. Twice when I asked why I didn’t get promoted, I got told it’s because I was by far the most productive in my department. They couldn’t afford to lose me from the productive level into management. So working hard and achieving stellar results is definitely not going to get you success. Be lazy, that’s how you get success.

  • @unicornlight8251
    @unicornlight8251 7 лет назад +2

    hope the failures will be the reason i succeed

  • @dhanstad5
    @dhanstad5 3 года назад

    A good example of personable public speaking

  • @DatGirlAlicia
    @DatGirlAlicia Год назад

    Thank you breaking it down for me! I couldn’t put it into words.

  • @kenduwilliamson5436
    @kenduwilliamson5436 6 лет назад +1

    I know people tell her this all the time but I'm gonna say it anyway. She is beautiful!

  • @jameslsmoot8496
    @jameslsmoot8496 5 лет назад +2

    Great job, Jemele, very well spoken, I've always been a big fan of your professionalism and your love of sports and you are a beautiful woman, keep doing what you do.

  • @puffoffluffedair543
    @puffoffluffedair543 2 года назад +2

    Biggest fear is getting to that place you’ve always ruminated on and it’s not what you thought it was, or it’s worse. That’s a disappointment I’ll never be able to handle lmfao it feels a bit safer when ur closer the ground

  • @eternalyfeful
    @eternalyfeful 8 лет назад +43

    I love this! This woman is my total package!

    • @eternalyfeful
      @eternalyfeful 7 лет назад +6

      Alejandro Ramos...she doesn't look like a man, now she may not be your style and that's cool but she surely doesn't look like a man.

    • @eternalyfeful
      @eternalyfeful 7 лет назад +8

      The King in the North...she ain't fat, she's what we call "thick", you trippin.

    • @eternalyfeful
      @eternalyfeful 7 лет назад +9

      The King in the North...I don't know, you can say you're not attracted to her and that's fine but she is FAR from being fat.

    • @uhurusasa2190
      @uhurusasa2190 7 лет назад +2

      Alejandro Ramos So then, looks better than you ?

  • @sunnyraskar7386
    @sunnyraskar7386 2 года назад

    Absolutely outstanding attitude. I love her!!!

  • @Manish79
    @Manish79 8 лет назад +7

    success should not be measured

    • @jbetts214
      @jbetts214 7 лет назад +2

      manish ayare success is when you become who you were created to be, when you have fulfilled your purpose for being.

  • @smilemka3342
    @smilemka3342 Год назад

    This is so challenging to perspectives !

  • @reginadavis1028
    @reginadavis1028 4 года назад +2

    Great talk Mele and she looks amazing!

  • @forevercalirarebreed
    @forevercalirarebreed 3 года назад +2

    Definitely motivation!

  • @edgarosofernandez
    @edgarosofernandez 8 лет назад +16

    A humble Lady

  • @CK-ic8jg
    @CK-ic8jg Год назад

    Eloquent.. Inspiring.

  • @mrom544
    @mrom544 4 года назад +1

    Thank you for keeping it real!

  • @NkrumahTure
    @NkrumahTure 9 лет назад +2

    I loves me some Jemele Hill. Continued success.

  • @ahmedabdallah1058
    @ahmedabdallah1058 5 лет назад +1

    Thanks jemilli for giving us these valuable informations

  • @smwd2591
    @smwd2591 2 года назад

    Thank you, you have awared me of something.

  • @summerlopez4176
    @summerlopez4176 7 лет назад +5

    Magnificent!!!!! No other words needed

  • @teajelmore
    @teajelmore Год назад

    That was powerful!

  • @danielkulessa2987
    @danielkulessa2987 9 лет назад

    hope full message for us and new generation. penetrating such message to the generation is one of a ways for success. thank you great for suggestion

  • @elizabethsisenda
    @elizabethsisenda 9 лет назад +1

    Hopeful message..very inspiring..all things work for good..very lady like for sports/tommy

  • @HealingUTV
    @HealingUTV 6 лет назад +4

    Great presentation from Jemele Hill - amazing that success is so scary hey - crazy :)

  • @nattacev9954
    @nattacev9954 3 года назад

    Thank youu

  • @202020morehourstogo
    @202020morehourstogo 7 лет назад +3

    Thank you!! This was so inspiring and helpful!

  • @roypatton9070
    @roypatton9070 7 лет назад +1

    I love her

  • @justmadyo
    @justmadyo Год назад

    Its true🙂

  • @alextoliver994
    @alextoliver994 5 лет назад +1

    This helps me! Thank you!

  • @adammorrison1962
    @adammorrison1962 4 года назад

    Thanks. I needed that

  • @allandiaz9302
    @allandiaz9302 6 лет назад +5

    video ends at 01:20

  • @baylee8659
    @baylee8659 2 года назад

    Thank you for this :)

  • @jasonwoods3667
    @jasonwoods3667 7 лет назад +2

    She's a true testament to the downfall of Sportscenter/ESPN.

  • @orvovosk
    @orvovosk 3 года назад +1

    Yes but only reason why you are afraid of accountability is because you will not be able to handle it. so it is still fear of failure.

  • @galactus4mac
    @galactus4mac 7 лет назад +1

    She says 'even you guys in the cheap seats' shows how out of touch this human being really is.

  • @yellooh
    @yellooh 5 лет назад +1

    Truth

  • @JusMaqiK
    @JusMaqiK 8 лет назад +1

    She's so Fine!!!

  • @eklctc1Kng1arrw
    @eklctc1Kng1arrw 7 лет назад +20

    She looks like she could be Oprah's daughter. Both beautiful women.

  • @cinammondream
    @cinammondream 8 лет назад +5

    What an amazing Ted Talk!!!

  • @chrisspa930
    @chrisspa930 7 лет назад

    WOW what a amazing Video. Don´t stop doing this. Bye Chris

  • @whoman7489
    @whoman7489 5 лет назад +1

    suffering from success

  • @kareemsmith8957
    @kareemsmith8957 7 лет назад +4

    where's my love emoji when I need it?

  • @Lily.valkyrie
    @Lily.valkyrie 7 лет назад

    why does everyone hate this lady

  • @MsTolatola
    @MsTolatola 5 лет назад

    Amazing

  • @sarahbc7720
    @sarahbc7720 6 лет назад

    HUGE

  • @ElvisMarrero
    @ElvisMarrero 3 года назад

    success in what i do would mean fame. and im scared of fame.

  • @jessbeblessed7
    @jessbeblessed7 8 лет назад +4

    Wow, I loved it!

  • @drkaustubhwagh9779
    @drkaustubhwagh9779 8 лет назад +2

    absolutely correct

  • @odefeoberabor7597
    @odefeoberabor7597 6 лет назад +3

    She didn't get that standing ovation though. 😂😂😂😂😂

  • @ttmazz1
    @ttmazz1 5 лет назад +1

    Beauty is her name.

  • @AaaaAa-yf6ku
    @AaaaAa-yf6ku 5 лет назад +1

    Gootd talk

  • @khalidm.q.2639
    @khalidm.q.2639 3 года назад +5

    Seriously though; DO NOT touch the Godfather, Hollywood!

  • @anotherdroid493
    @anotherdroid493 3 года назад +7

    2:08 “Imagine being on the beach 🏖 in Cabo and someone bringing you a Corona..” 🤣 Nooooo..

  • @mzilg
    @mzilg 5 лет назад +2

    She has a beautiful voice!! 🤓👍💙

  • @cbread208
    @cbread208 7 лет назад +1

    Great job Jemele!

  • @relativegifrelativegif8369
    @relativegifrelativegif8369 4 года назад +6

    Ah shucks , when I closed my eyes and imagined success, it DID feel real and tangible to me, it felt like I could do it
    But I was surprised when she said that it didn’t feel real to all of us 🤔

  • @PinkYellowGreen2023
    @PinkYellowGreen2023 2 года назад

    🔥🔥🔥🔥

  • @davidlis7974
    @davidlis7974 3 года назад

    I have this fear I'm failing Hight school not due to resources just I'm scared to succeed and go out in to the world and i don't believe that i can meet those expectations but i have that disire to succeed but its just so much

  • @enricoweeks2282
    @enricoweeks2282 8 лет назад

    😍😉😘🎉🎊jemele hill my love keep # 100 you r espn.💘

  • @guineeeg1
    @guineeeg1 7 лет назад

    You are very right Jemele! We are in a (matrix) kinda, so i believe many things happen for a reason...Therefore good or bad, think about left and about right attitude is good to have to move forward in any situation. 👏

  • @JaySparty1
    @JaySparty1 7 лет назад +1

    I didnt get the option for any stipulations. I had to pay. Why?

  • @Keana43
    @Keana43 2 года назад

    Interesting

  • @derekj5519
    @derekj5519 8 лет назад +2

    Great job Jemele

  • @jokerfrown
    @jokerfrown 3 года назад

    Did she mention the 2nd way to get past this behavior?
    Also, the first was not very good if it hinges on you being lucky.
    I liked the first 2 min or so though.