I love how you take stalking seriously and point out how people who are stalked are not taken seriously! It can ruin someone’s life or be deadly like in this tragic case.
I was stalked. I was ‘laughed away’ at the police-it altered my life; moved 7 states away & hid for 3 years from every single person in my previous life.
@Jack Tha Real Sadly, your view holds merit. Statistics would certainly bear this out. Ms. Ellen , possibly a cat lady somewhere living a blue state mentality, would rather believe what “feels the best”..
Just goes to show stalking can happen to anyone. When I had to come forward about a stalker at work, I was shocked how many of my colleagues, male and female, who had similar experiences. One lady said her stalker crashed his SUV through her patio windows! These people are not confused or lovelorn. THEY ARE INSANE. You can't just "tell them to stop".
You are so correct!! I had a stalker as well, and no one can understand how scary and nerve racking that is unless it happens to them! The creep who was stalking me was a neighbor who thought he was going to get somewhere with me, I was totally not interested, and never did anything but (mistakenly) be polite when I first moved in! I believe in his mind he saw us as a couple. He had cameras set up facing my door and one facing my parking spot! I lived in a nightmarish hell for three years before I was finally able to move out!
give them a taste of their own poison, point cameras at his place, get a vicious dog to bark at his dumba-s and pepperspray him at the slightest approach.. but unfortunately sometimes moving away may be the only option
@@jayuhoo4806 Unfortunately, they don't care about that; retaliation makes them feel even more justified. A combination of my moving across town, and after he found me again, a visit from the police did the trick. It was a weird situation. His wife also began stalking me (long story), so two against one. Luckily, I had officers with excellent training, and they knew whom to believe.
@@micheleanello2953 That is terrible. I'm sorry that happened to you. I was in a similar situation, in that housing choices in my city are extremely limited, and I wasn't able to move until a year later. I would have had to quit my job and move halfway across the country to find someone who could take me in, knowing I had a stalker. I wouldn't inflict that on anyone who didn't know exactly what he was in for.
I just watched a piece on a young woman being stalked for over a year and she is terrified for her life. I feel victims of stalking should legally be able to have special gun rights, shooting lessons and self defense classes. Too late is not early enough for self protection.
It is exactly the same over here in Germany and in Holland. The police can do nothing until a crime is committed. Such are the laws. They can give a stalker a warning and a good talking to, that's all.
Dr.Grande is right that there should have been other means for her but the cold hard reality of the world is that, like he says, there are no consequences for stalkers the majority of the time and no help available, and it's not because people don't care but there are complicated things that cannot be overcome like the guilty beyond a reasonable doubt and the effort and expense of a prosecution that will probably fail, certain things aren't illegal and it would be hard to see how to make illegal a behavior like parking on a street and waiting in your car, I know that this is done maliciously but beyond the harassment laws that are already in place there doesn't seem to be a way to make illegal this behavior. That's how stalker's are so dangerous, they repeat threatening but ostensibly legal behavior that just steps up to the line and in many cases when they cross it there is no evidence or record. I think that getting armed is a good step to take in these situations because you know that every other means of defense is so flawed.
I agree stalking is Rule # 1 in the Murderers playbook, there is new laws but it doesnt stop them they will eventually find a way to get you, disgusting
@@FollowmedowntheNumberWhole It's not that, it's that stalking behavior is comprised of ostensibly legal behavior. There are harassment laws but without evidence and a record of the behavior there is no chance for a prosecutor to build a case that's beyond a reasonable doubt. It's definitely imperfect but it has nothing to do with how much law enforcement care about women or minorities, in general, law enforcement is very patriarchal and see themselves as protectors of the vulnerable especially women, it's not that they don't take this seriously it's that there is nothing they can do. What would be a good use of resources that would curb this issue is to assign detectives to build cases against stalkers that are strong enough to get convictions but when there aren't enough detectives to take on all homicides and violent crimes that happen then they aren't going to spare any on this. Ending the war on drugs is a good start to freeing up resources and increasing funding for law enforcement is the solution.
It's defined as harasment but hardly enforced by the law as far as I know, but if you dare to comfront the menace physically then you can be easily charged with assault.
I work with domestic violence survivors. The fear they endure is so hard to witness. The police's dismissive attitude towards women makes me feel so discouraged. I am talking about Toronto police.
Everything will be better when we convince women to stop selecting men based on testosterone levels. As it is women see men with highest testosterone levels as the most dominant and sexually desirable, but they forget that these traits in men are also associated with impulsiveness, risk taking, and propensity for violence.
@@earlmcearl1244 So, perhaps women should ask for their blood samples on dates? To test their testosterone levels? I love how one-sided this is as opposed to being united as a society, and giving harsher punishments towards those who exhibit violent behaviours. Also, what about the men who naturally have higher levels, but are excellent partners, fathers, good samaritans etc.? They shouldn’t have any dates at all?
@@earlmcearl1244 you want to be an ally to women? Step in when another dude is out of line, like ‘she told you to leave her alone man, why are you still talking to her?’ And do that without the expectation of anything g more than a ‘thanks’ Also, if you have a female friend or relative being stalked and she wants to get law enforcement involved, get on the police until they DO something.
@@earlmcearl1244 I do see what your saying and understand what you mean and I'm a female. I don't see your comment as 'victim blamey'. To an extent there is some truthfulness to what you said. There are many layers to everybody, so not as to say it's stereotypical that a muscle filled meathead will be an abuser as opposed to a shy, soft, highly educated person being the sweetest kindest one that will never hurt or harm.
Stalking is illegal in Scotland. More than two instances of stalking behaviour that causes fear or alarm is prosecutable. I don't think it's ever been enacted for so few offences but it has definitely got some persistent offenders off the streets.
It's absurd that victims have to wait until the stalker 'strikes' here in the U.S. As though the Stalker's rights take precedent over the victims rights.
I'm guessing it's to do with the whole 'freedom' narrative the US is being fed. Even though its creating a situation of unfreedom (which is apparent in other contexts that use freedom as the narrative)
It’s illegal here in US as well, however it’s not pursued legally as it should be. It’s so hard for me to understand her possible reasoning for not having a gun seeing how that IS perfectly legal in the US and would have, in all likelihood saved her life. There is also the option of preemptive action (NOT so legal, but definitely life saving!). I then realized that all I was thinking fell into the category of blaming the victim for having been murdered...and for that I am so sorry, because it’s wrong, period!
She obviously new he was very dangerous, but she did all she could, and I guess having the 8 year time span with nothing happening she must have felt the threat was over, very scary.
I think she should have carried a firearm, pepper spray just doesn't cut it. When she told her friends that she didn't know how to protect herself that broke my heart, she lived in California and worked in a very left-leaning field and I think that the idea of a firearm for self defense didn't even cross her mind. If you are being stalked, get yourself armed and learn how to use it. It would be such a better outcome for this monster to take 2 to the chest and for her to get away. Dr.Grande is right that there should have been other means for her but the cold hard reality of the world is that, like he says, there are no consequences for stalkers the majority of the time and no help available, and it's not because people don't care but there are complicated things that cannot be overcome like the guilty beyond a reasonable doubt and the effort and expense of a prosecution that will probably fail, certain things aren't illegal and it would be hard to see how, that's how stalker's are so dangerous, they repeat threatening but ostensibly legal behavior that just steps up to the line and in many cases when they cross it there is no evidence or record. I think that getting armed is a good step to take in these situations because you know that every other means of defense is so flawed.
@@bencheevers6693 I was looking for such a comment about getting a firearm because that's what I would, as a woman, do in this situation too. A stalker is a selfish coward. Most of them just need the sight of a gun to back the hell off. And if a person is trained on handling a firearm, he/she could safely fire warning or non-fatal shots to scare or disable the assailant. It didn't need to end like this for Amie...
Not rly, she looked like a high on herself hollywood wanna be star person who doesn’t care much except if she is getting payed. All good she has done she done it for the fame. Atleast she looked like that and looks like she had a bit of daddy issues.
@@stevearcher6100 i dont think many picked up on hanging around playboy mansion, and porn stars . i also think she got with Drew Carey for his status and money. id love to hear what he really thinks of her, i bet she has a toxic side also.
Thank you for understanding what stalking is Dr Grande, very few people do. When it happened to me (my ex) I had to inform one manager and she said that she wished her husband would love her that much. 😪This is not love, it is a debilitating experience that slowly crushes your joy, your sense of safety and massively increases your paranoia. It is terrifying, you see your pursuer everywhere and question your sanity. Thankfully the Police were sympathetic and helpful but I was in despair for a while. I feel so sorry for this unfortunate woman, her life taken away so violently but an evil man. May she rest in peace. She made the world a better place with her good work.
I was stalked by an ex. I withdrew from all social media and changed my phone, and after 3 months not being able to contact me she sent her two brothers round. That was great, I much prefer to face the danger I'm in than having it hanging over my head. I pursuaded them to leave and never saw them or her again. I think the message I sent back with them convinced her.
That’s the police for you. Never there when you need them, only there to clean up a crime scene. That’s why having a weapon is key, preferably one that you can use from a distance.
Just a suggestion. Take it, or toss it. Find a GOOD Martial Arts Teacher, who also knows street fighting techniques, as a last resort. Buy a gun, or don't. If you do, train with it until you can handle it like it's part of you. Put N alarm system on your windows, and doors, and beef up your doors. Know that ( and they WILL teach you this) if you point a gun at anybody, DO NOT do it if you're not 100% sure you can pull the trigger. Keep yourself aware of your surroundings when you're out and about. And most of all, have back up plan for your back up plan. That has saved me numerous interactions with a former stalker. Oh, and always remember, once a stalker, always a stalker ( or at least you have to assume that). Read as much as you can about the subject. If you do all these things, he may lose interest. Especially if you don't react to his crap. But...keep a notebook ( slide it under your couch) and every single time he tries to contact you write it down. If he talks to your family, friends or neighbors, write it down. And, if you file a Restraining order, be aware that he's likely to ignore it. File it anyway. Then call the Police every single time he "accidentally " runs into you at a store, etc.., If , ultimately, something happens where he hurts you, you'll have a great paper trail, and the police will take you more seriously, than if you're vague about your complaints about him. Screen all your calls. A yone who isn't in your contacts can always , and WILL leave a message for you if something is THAT important to them. Just a few suggestions, like I said. Do what you wish with it.
@@BaronSaturday66 oh stop already! Police cannot possibly be all things to all people who need them at all times! There are not enough of them! Do not out them on e this country down. I AGREE THAT SHE SHOULD TAKE IT SERIOUSLY ENOUGH TO PREPARE HERSELF CORRECTLY. Watching the movie ENOUGH with Jennifer Lopez will help her in doing this. And the Karate Kid series, no joke. THAT is what every one of us good people should have under our belt (the evil people need not read this!).
Having a stalker was the exact reason I started watching your videos years ago, the first video I watched was about Narcissistic personality disorder..The laws need to be more severe when it comes to this type of situation. Thank you for bringing awareness.❤
She's not "pretty", she's well groomed. I guarantee you, anyone can pile on makeup and do up their hair and look good. If you doubt this, have you SEEN any of the before and afters on youtube?
@@dortesandal4303 yeah that’s obvious by the way she made sure to surround herself with quality people and she had loved ones around her to protect her…
This one really scared me Doc. I just found out my long-term stalker from years ago lives less than a block away. I haven't noticed any contact and I'm unsure how to proceed. You are right, there is no handbook for dealing with these people 😰
When at all possible do not be seen by him. This triggers them greatly, along with talking to the more texting Facebook etc. any contact is not good. Dress and appear different to how you were when he knew you. If possible I would move.
Wow...she had the financial and intellectual ability to do everything right, more than what anyone should even have to do in such a situation, and it seems as though it was so easy for him to do it as soon as he felt like it.
Thank you for this video about an underappreciated topic. Even in cases where stalking does not lead to murder, it's terrifying for the victim. The anxiety can be really torturous.
How completely sad and frustrating for this poor woman! Nowhere to turn or look to except over her shoulder for years and years. No one should have to live their life that way and she did until she was murdered. So sad.
Stalking kills your soul slowly and painfully, and leaves you feeling scared, tired and paranoid. Sometimes the only solution is leaving your town or country and even that seems not enough. Thanks Dr Grande, hopefully one day authorities and mental health professionals take this issue as seriously as you do.❤️
The thoughtful care you put into this topic was incredibly touching, Dr. Grande! At best, stalking victims live a life of fear, and there's no need to say what the worst is. Amazing episode! ♡
This is one of the most tragic cases I’ve seen you cover. The way she did everything she was supposed to and was still murdered is so terrifying and heartbreaking.
Another great take Dr. G, I think you addressed the "why didn't she get a gun" argument very well: not everyone is capable of/willing to take things to that degree, and at any rate it offers no "surefire" solution to the problem. I recall another case of stalking where the woman had her armed bf come over to her parents house with her the night things went down, and the all of them ended up dead because the stalker was watching the house and chose the right time to strike. If she made any mistake here, I think it was talking to him at the convention and afterwards: he was quoting voicemails from 8 years ago and berating her as if things had just happened, and it's hard to imagine any productive interaction could happen under those conditions. As in the Jodi Arias case, one must take heed when dealing with the mentally unstable: it seems the interaction only agitated the stalking mind-state (if indeed it was dormant). Of course, just seeing her again may have been enough, even if she had shut down the conversation immediately, and this doesn't not mean it was "her fault" for giving his delusions life again, but it is a caution for those empathetic souls who feel obliged to give crazy their time and space: we may just be giving the fire the fuel it needs to consume us.
You’re being one dimensional. There are a lot of variables that are factored in when considering the development of the human mind. Sometimes, several factors come together and the “perfect storm” is created. That’s not to say that these people don’t know right from wrong, they do, and they need to be taken out of society so as not to put ANYone else at risk.
*I do as well! I know im going to like them, and its become somewhat of a system for me. I'll 'like' a video when I watch it, that way I know what videos I've already watched. Then, if its a bad video, after I watch it I just 'dislike' it.*
If someone abused you once they will do it twice and it changes if you cut them off they go obsess over you and abuse go farther to real harm and death. Stay safe all. Thank you Dr. Grande 🤍🫀
Thanks for this. I was stalked for 4 years and in my country at the time there were no laws to stop it. It was exhausting and terrifying. Thankfully it didn't end like this case. Poor Amy. As you say, she did everything in her power to protect herself.
Thanks so much Dr Grande, so eloquent and heartfelt. Amy should have been safe. It's wholly unacceptable and the law does need to change. Bless her and her loved ones, what a huge loss of someone who did so much good.
@@infamousla815 because the murderers are not known to, on the first date, say "oh hey, I'm going to brutally murder you one day". Disturbing number of misogynists in the comments.
Pro Tip for any would be stalker: If you value a person so highly, that you can't stop thinking about them, you have to at least stop watching any videos or photographs of them unless the person directly shows them to you, especially sultry videos or photographs. This will help you, them and any potential relationship with them in two ways: 1. You don't develop a destructive obsession over them and if you already have it, will halt it from being fed. 2. If there's ever the chance you actually get to date the person in ernest, you are way less desperate looking and less likely to rush it. Obsession is love's greatest enemy, because it appears like it was love to the uninitiated but is actually pretty vile. At least towards real people, obsess over anime waifus all you like.
I was stalked when I was in college, it is scary. I was in a major city, and I still did not feel safe, and my practical classes ran into 10:00 at night and he followed me home twice, one time I met him on my steps. I really wish they would change the laws surroundings stalking, it is incredibly disturbing
This is so scary. I think she probably tried to reason with an unreasonable/unhinged man because of her profession at that event. Rest In Peace Amie. Ps: you don’t own anyone anything especially an abusive stalker, you don’t have to give that person your time or energy because you feel “bad” for their upbringing
I wonder if FB stalking others is somehow less criminal? I would like to know why people do that? Although:. Some years ago one of my NHS colleagues met a girl, and their relationship although it lasted just a couple of years was not great. They always argued, he treated her terribly and he was unfaithful, They split up and he could not leave her alone, he would come into work crying like a baby, He missed shifts we all hated it when he was in work because he shirked his job and behaved dreadfully. His ex was admitted to the hospital where we worked, but not to our ward, we were accident and emergency and she was on an elective ward. I don't even know how he found out she was in! It turns out he attacked her with a knife while she was on the ward, he was restrained, arrested and sectioned. The lady in question survived. Just! She emigrated to get as far away from him as possible. He is no longer working in healthcare but I heard he married some poor soul last year!
If women being physically stalked can't be helped we're in so much trouble when it comes to social media. It's so sad that your colleague emigrated in the end. :( :( :(
If you can find out where he lives and who he married. Inform the police via an anonymous system. Just in case he does something and it prevents things getting really bad. All you can do unfortunately.
Dear Dr G, great new shirt. Tragic ending with Harwick's death, of a talented and exceptional woman. Pity she did not up the security - big time. I take no chances. Steel bars over all ground floor windows, deadlocks and high megapixel camera's = so far so good.
A tragic case. I heard about it in passing, thanks to the Drew Carey connection. Glad to know more about it Dr. Grande. So am wondering if you have heard of 'tapping,' or acupressure points, as a form of therapy? I read about it once in a book. The one case that stayed with me was the one by a stalker. He said, he was stalking, knew he was, knew stalking was wrong, that if he did not stop he could be locked up. But just could not stop. Until a therapist tried acupressure points with him, and he stopped. He could not explain it, but was grateful. He said something along the lines of it ending, or releasing, his obsession with the poor woman. Have you have heard of this type of thing? And do you think there is any truth to it? Thanks.
I’ve been catching up on the videos with Dr. Grande this am, I truly can say, many of the ones lives that were taken to soon can really, truly, help so many with red flags, and so much awareness. I’d absolutely love to see Dr. Grande do a video to help so many, being stocked is very scary. We need many ones to bring awareness on saving lives. I always carry away much safety, & I always share with others.
This world is scary but it's even scarier when you're a woman. I always have to look behind me when I walk outside on my own due to my own personal stalker as well as an online stalker. Which is why I use this pfp and I'm actually not Korean. I hate living like I'm paranoid, but as women, you cannot let your guard down. Stay safe
Dr. Grande the same could happen to anyone. I learned in a sociology course specific to what I was last studying in that men studying in a university or college program are being targeted with violence more often than men get attacked elsewhere too. Unfortunate that no one, like a policeman, took the time to tell Amie how to upgrade her locks and secure her balcony better. Like reinforcing balcony railings and installing a four [3 inch] screw strike plate box in both front and back door frames. New homes need that upgrade too. Monitoring systems and practicing mindfulness always during waking hours helps protect a person too.
This is a great comment. Many people like to take the responsibility off themselves & ask for cops (or other regulatory body) to do more… that thought process is a waste of time. Everybody needs to get their heads out of their phones and be mindful & aware. Look to the right and to the left & run from danger at the earliest signs of it…We should all be scanning our environments As an innate survival instinct…not because we live in fear, but because we’re too smart to assume somebody else will be doing it for us…
Makes me wonder how many people have just killed their stalker to end the fear. Like one day, they've just had enough, and decide to flip the dynamic. You have to figure it's happened at least a few times given the lack of protection provided by the law for stalking victims.
You have interesting details that I hadn't heard. I just read that he "yelled" at her at the event, not that they spoke for 45 then 30 minutes. Yikes! Obviously, she thought that by being "nice" and talking to him, it might help. Unfortunately, it did not. He was a good-looking guy and could have easily found another love. Obsession is scary!
I would’ve call security to escort him out. If security ignores me, I’d call the police. I’d never talk to him because that’ll give a narcissist the impression that their tactic works or you’ve changed your mind about them.
I knew a girl while I was in college who was a victim of stalking and the police never did anything because her stalker (luckily) never escalated to violent behavior. But she went through months of hell with this creeper following her around at a distance, writing her cards, and leaving her hand carved wooden baby toys...
I really appreciate you taking time to speak thoughtfully about the inadequacies of solutions for people who are being stalked. It is exhausting to be in that position and it seems we always end up discussing all the things that WEREN'T done to protect the victim. And by then it's too late, as you mentioned. I do hope we see some changes in the amount of protection available. I'm at a loss for what exactly that would look like, but of course that's precisely why it so often happens that stalking victims are under protected. We can't seem to come up with The Solution on this issue.
In my opinion, the mental health effects on victims of stalking and continuous harassment are underestimated by courts and society in general. I've seen it happen to good friends of mine. The emotional scarring and fear that it instils in a person can last for years.
I remember listening to you on this months ago, but I’m gonna listen again because I may have dozed off to your cat like purring abilities.. Either way it’s good to see you Dr. Grande🌵.
I lived this life. The day my stalker was served with a Restraining order, he came to my home after work, looked me right in my face, waved the paper in my face, and stated " This is just a piece of paper, nothing else, it doesn't matter one bit!". Hecontinued to show upevery si gle day after I got home from work, he'd be waiting on my front porch. Ignoring him only made things worse. He was violent when we were married, and he only escalated. I had kids to protect. I remarried, and he still stalked me. The final straw was when I went to drop my Granddaughter off at the sidewalk, because her Daddy was over at his house visiting HIS Dad, ( my ex) . Things had been civil for quite a while). I opened the door to my pickup, took my Granddaughter out of her carpet, and set her on the side walk leading up to my ex's house. Like I said he drank a LOT, and suddenly I heard my Son yell from the porch "DAD!, what are youv doing!?" I tried to jump in my truck as fast as possible as he was running full out towards me. He slammed the truck door as hard as he could by hitting it. My lower legs had crush injuries to them across the shin bones. In shock I drove home, He had moved in 4 blocks away from our new house, and I knew then, he would always try to hurt me...he felt he owned me. This was insane. I sat with ice packs on my legs, and my new Husband wanted nothing more than to go shoot my ex's kneecaps. I told him he wasn't going to prison, his Kids, and Grandkids, and I needed him here. Ironically, the idiot made the mistake of calling me, still slightly drunk, and started screaming and telling me about how next time he would make it worse ( Like that hadn't happened when we were previously married) . Something just "clicked " in my brain. Like a switch being turned on or off. I simply yelled at him to " Shut UP! And then as calm as ever I told him ...if he EVER hurt me again, if he ever broke into my house again ( he'd done so 6 times AFTER I moved to a different house,because he insisted it was HIS house, and as long as our kids were living there he could come & go whenever he wanted) and like I stated before the Restraining Order meant nothing to him) I would shoot him dead. I told him I was DONE living in fear, he'd had 15 years of his sadistic fun with me, and I was "DONE!". Stunned silence on the other end of the line, then very quietly " Would you repeat that"? I said " Repeat what" ? The fact that I'm going to stop your abusing me one way or another? I think you heard me loud & clear the 1st time." Years & years later? He still makes asinine comments at the Grandkids Graduations, and I just smile, and ignore him. He leaves me alone now.
Must've felt so good to take control. Although I wonder why other family members still tolerate him after witnessing what he did, why is he even being invited to graduations and the like?
@@anonymouse6703 Because he is their Father. I am Civil to him. He has gone through a lot of heavy crap in the last 30+ years. Although, I'll never fully trust him again, He has mellowed ( except when he's drinking) a lot. Don't be fooled, I stay aware when he is around. If our grown children want to forgive him ( and he has done some pretty unforgivable things) and see him sometimes , then that's on them. They're free to choose, and make their own decisions. I will say, as of a year ago he had alienated every single child we had. He called ME wanting to know what was "wrong" with these kids. I talked to him and you'd him kindly, but firmly he was an alcoholic, and had some real issues. And, if he ever hoped to heal things with the kids he better get some help.
@@reneet5858 oh ok yes, that'd be the logical answer. I've had such toxic issues with my own family that at a young age, I made the decision to emotionally disconnect and leave them, and I forget sometimes that most people wouldn't cut their family ties like that. You sound like a very patient and empathetic person, and your kids and husband are lucky to have you :)
Well if the other person just can’t see that they’re meant to be, then that’s their fault and they deserve to be punished. I’m being sarcastic but it shows stalking is about dominant on and ownership, not unrequited love.
This case and your most recent Patreon video are cautionary tales about the dangers of stalking. I think stalking has become even easier nowadays with the increase in our electronic communications. Cyberstalking does come to mind, although it does not require physical contact, it is just as insidious. This is a heartbreaking story of a beautiful, successful woman who was helping so many others and ended up losing her life in such a tragic manner. Thank you for bringing this topic to light Dr. Grande, I think we all need to know more about stalking, its dangers and ways to protect oneself. You review is much appreciated.❤️
I wanted to thank you for your kind reply to my last post. I didn't really want to continue that thread, but I thought your response was kind and thoughtful. You come across, to me, as a grounded optimist, which I certainly appreciate. I like to think I'm the same, in that regard. Stalking though, that's a tricky one to deal with... The cyber aspect makes things even easier for stalkers. About 10 years ago, I remember I was talking to a coworker about my house, and I remember him instantly pulling up a picture of it without me telling him my address. It suddenly dawned on me just how much information is out there. Eh, I don't have the attention span for stalking someone, but I've looked up people before and yeah, you can find a lot of information about people, it's kind of scary. I couldn't even imagine actually being famous and what those people must have to deal with even without the papparazzi.
@@sato7320 You are most welcome and thank you:) Your post left a big impression on me. I still reflect on the things you said. Furthermore, your honesty and insight really stood out to me. About your experience - whoa!! That’s really creepy. I can’t even imagine what I would do in a situation like this.😰 Stalking is serious and like you said it’s fairly easy to find information about people online. In addition to that, there is social media stalking such as persistent unwanted messaging/DMs or stalking someone’s activities, which may not seem dangerous at first but it may become a bigger issue if not contained. It’s really a fine line because social media is here to stay but at the same time we need to protect our privacy.
@@rejaneoliveira5019 I think some people post a bit much on places like Facebook. I don't really post much. I don't think anyone's going to be interested in where I went to lunch.. except maybe a stalker. 😄 I guess some people are social in that way, and that's fine, but people should be mindful that they're broadcasting their activities to the whole world.
@@sato7320 I couldn’t agree more. I decided not to open a Facebook account but I do have an Instagram one, which I hardly ever post anything. I prefer to keep that way.
We don’t need new laws for a lot of things in the US but we definitely need more protection against stalking! 🥺😰 Horrible case. Excellent video Dr. Grande!! 💕👍🏼💕
What a waste of an amazing individual. She sounds like an incredible woman. Intelligent, empathic, open minded, non judgemental and an absolute go getter. Her brother summed it up, she always wanted to know how other people are doing rather than focus on herself. I love that she gave discounted rates to adult industry workers. What an amazing person, just living her life, enjoying the perks that came with her fame as well but a really genuine Dr. What a beautiful soul... 😢
Thanks you! Stalking itself should be a criminal offence. Unfortunately stalking and other sorts of intimidation that abusive partners (current or ex) choose to do seems to be mostly legal. The effects can be terrible for the victim.
Exactly. We’re also getting stalked by Apple, Google, RUclips, & cameras in highways, stores, etc. etc.… cameras everywhere. If you file an insurance claim it’s legal for adjusters stalk you to make sure you’re not doing anything You say you can’t do. Everyone’s acting like they’re in a Third World mob. It’s unbelievable that all of this is allowed to happen. Nothing is sacred anymore.
My friend also felt like she could be violated at any random moment, her ex stalked her for years and years, driving up next to her on the freeway, getting into her apartment. Years of harassment, threats and burglary. Protection order worthless. Police could only pick up the guy and release him, multiple times. Never killed her, just her ability to relax.
Dr. Grande, I love your merch! One request, or rather question? I’d love to be able to purchase from past collections. There is this one thing you had that I was in love with but it must have been shortly before your new line. Don’t get me wrong, new line is great, but the one I want is like what I consider your OG line. Also I love how you still respond with a like to a lot of our comments even though you’re famous now. Lastly, your humor is the best and I laugh my ass off every time.
Thank you Doctor Grande. Would you consider giving your analysis on Edie Bouvier Beale and Edie Ewing Bouvier Beale? I'd love to hear you speculate about what could be happening in a situation like theirs. : )
@@beejavaid4512 They are relatives of Jackie Kennedy. A well known documentary Grey Gardens was based on their puzzling, but interesting, eccentricities.
That is so terrifying and disheartening that she did everything a rational person would or could do to protect herself from this stalker but it still did not work!!! I like that version in Scotland some commenter stated that if there are at least two instances of stalking behavior, the stalker gets arrested. It is terrible that it is obvious to everyone that some person has bad intentions but the police won't do anything until you have been attacked?
Harwick was so out of her killer's league. She was bright, beautiful, very educated and financially stable, even if Drew Carey said she had some difficulties. May she RIP. I have never been a stalking victim and don't think it's likely that I ever would be. However, I heard what steps Amie took (by the way I am a Pepperdine MBA and also lived in both Hollywood and W. Hollywood.) I think prayer is in order as well. So among other prayers, I do pray the Auxilium Christianorum daily followed by the prayers for the Society of the Most Sorrowful Mother. I also pray to my Guardian Angel night and day. Jesus I place my Trust in Thee.
Thanks for your analysis Doctor. What I don't understand is why she did not file charges against him for assault. He would have gotten some jail time wouldn't he ? I also think the only protection against a maniac like this is a gun.
Years ago, I met with my attorney to file a restraining order. My attorney asked me if the person carried a concealed weapons permit. I said, "yes." The attorney simply stated, "a piece of paper will not stop a bullet." Instead, it can anger this individual more, just knowing they have an obstacle to overcome. The stalking got worse. My husband and I went to the police. The officer told us that the individual has every right to do what they were doing, until they caused us (or our daughters) harm. Those comments have stayed with me and my husband. We moved away and live every day to the best of our abilities. By living our life and being happy, we believe it creates more pain for the individual that was putting us through hell.
I love how you take stalking seriously and point out how people who are stalked are not taken seriously! It can ruin someone’s life or be deadly like in this tragic case.
I was stalked. I was ‘laughed away’ at the police-it altered my life; moved 7 states away & hid for 3 years from every single person in my previous life.
Thank you for this clarification she wasn't taken seriously. I didn't realize that was the real reason or how ever I should say it.
@Jack Tha Real You obviously have no success with women.
@Jack Tha Real Sadly, your view holds merit. Statistics would certainly bear this out. Ms. Ellen , possibly a cat lady somewhere living a blue state mentality, would rather believe what “feels the best”..
@Jack Tha Real damn
Just goes to show stalking can happen to anyone. When I had to come forward about a stalker at work, I was shocked how many of my colleagues, male and female, who had similar experiences. One lady said her stalker crashed his SUV through her patio windows! These people are not confused or lovelorn. THEY ARE INSANE. You can't just "tell them to stop".
You are so correct!! I had a stalker as well, and no one can understand how scary and nerve racking that is unless it happens to them! The creep who was stalking me was a neighbor who thought he was going to get somewhere with me, I was totally not interested, and never did anything but (mistakenly) be polite when I first moved in! I believe in his mind he saw us as a couple. He had cameras set up facing my door and one facing my parking spot! I lived in a nightmarish hell for three years before I was finally able to move out!
I believe protection from a stalker must involve law enforcement.
give them a taste of their own poison, point cameras at his place, get a vicious dog to bark at his dumba-s and pepperspray him at the slightest approach.. but unfortunately sometimes moving away may be the only option
@@jayuhoo4806 Unfortunately, they don't care about that; retaliation makes them feel even more justified. A combination of my moving across town, and after he found me again, a visit from the police did the trick.
It was a weird situation. His wife also began stalking me (long story), so two against one. Luckily, I had officers with excellent training, and they knew whom to believe.
@@micheleanello2953 That is terrible. I'm sorry that happened to you.
I was in a similar situation, in that housing choices in my city are extremely limited, and I wasn't able to move until a year later. I would have had to quit my job and move halfway across the country to find someone who could take me in, knowing I had a stalker. I wouldn't inflict that on anyone who didn't know exactly what he was in for.
Law enforcement would often say “there’s nothing we can do until a crime is committed”. Yes, but by then it’s too late. 😡
I just watched a piece on a young woman being stalked for over a year and she is terrified for her life. I feel victims of stalking should legally be able to have special gun rights, shooting lessons and self defense classes. Too late is not early enough for self protection.
*That would be where my friends Heckler and Koch come in!*
Exactly! This SHOULD be a crime
It’s not really there fault tbh police don’t make the laws they can only enforce the laws as they are
It is exactly the same over here in Germany and in Holland. The police can do nothing until a crime is committed. Such are the laws. They can give a stalker a warning and a good talking to, that's all.
It’s so frustrating that the law doesn’t take stalking seriously!!
Great video Dr Grande.
Dr.Grande is right that there should have been other means for her but the cold hard reality of the world is that, like he says, there are no consequences for stalkers the majority of the time and no help available, and it's not because people don't care but there are complicated things that cannot be overcome like the guilty beyond a reasonable doubt and the effort and expense of a prosecution that will probably fail, certain things aren't illegal and it would be hard to see how to make illegal a behavior like parking on a street and waiting in your car, I know that this is done maliciously but beyond the harassment laws that are already in place there doesn't seem to be a way to make illegal this behavior. That's how stalker's are so dangerous, they repeat threatening but ostensibly legal behavior that just steps up to the line and in many cases when they cross it there is no evidence or record. I think that getting armed is a good step to take in these situations because you know that every other means of defense is so flawed.
I agree stalking is Rule # 1 in the Murderers playbook, there is new laws but it doesnt stop them they will eventually find a way to get you, disgusting
Maybe the law just doesn’t take poor people, women or minorities seriously, unless they’re forced to (?) at least most of the time. Just a thought.
@@FollowmedowntheNumberWhole It's not that, it's that stalking behavior is comprised of ostensibly legal behavior. There are harassment laws but without evidence and a record of the behavior there is no chance for a prosecutor to build a case that's beyond a reasonable doubt. It's definitely imperfect but it has nothing to do with how much law enforcement care about women or minorities, in general, law enforcement is very patriarchal and see themselves as protectors of the vulnerable especially women, it's not that they don't take this seriously it's that there is nothing they can do. What would be a good use of resources that would curb this issue is to assign detectives to build cases against stalkers that are strong enough to get convictions but when there aren't enough detectives to take on all homicides and violent crimes that happen then they aren't going to spare any on this. Ending the war on drugs is a good start to freeing up resources and increasing funding for law enforcement is the solution.
It's defined as harasment but hardly enforced by the law as far as I know, but if you dare to comfront the menace physically then you can be easily charged with assault.
I work with domestic violence survivors. The fear they endure is so hard to witness. The police's dismissive attitude towards women makes me feel so discouraged. I am talking about Toronto police.
Everything will be better when we convince women to stop selecting men based on testosterone levels. As it is women see men with highest testosterone levels as the most dominant and sexually desirable, but they forget that these traits in men are also associated with impulsiveness, risk taking, and propensity for violence.
@@earlmcearl1244 So, perhaps women should ask for their blood samples on dates? To test their testosterone levels?
I love how one-sided this is as opposed to being united as a society, and giving harsher punishments towards those who exhibit violent behaviours.
Also, what about the men who naturally have higher levels, but are excellent partners, fathers, good samaritans etc.? They shouldn’t have any dates at all?
@@earlmcearl1244 everything will be better when we stop victim blaming
@@earlmcearl1244 you want to be an ally to women? Step in when another dude is out of line, like ‘she told you to leave her alone man, why are you still talking to her?’ And do that without the expectation of anything g more than a ‘thanks’
Also, if you have a female friend or relative being stalked and she wants to get law enforcement involved, get on the police until they DO something.
@@earlmcearl1244 I do see what your saying and understand what you mean and I'm a female. I don't see your comment as 'victim blamey'. To an extent there is some truthfulness to what you said. There are many layers to everybody, so not as to say it's stereotypical that a muscle filled meathead will be an abuser as opposed to a shy, soft, highly educated person being the sweetest kindest one that will never hurt or harm.
Stalking is illegal in Scotland. More than two instances of stalking behaviour that causes fear or alarm is prosecutable. I don't think it's ever been enacted for so few offences but it has definitely got some persistent offenders off the streets.
It's absurd that victims have to wait until the stalker 'strikes' here in the U.S. As though the Stalker's rights take precedent over the victims rights.
I'm guessing it's to do with the whole 'freedom' narrative the US is being fed. Even though its creating a situation of unfreedom (which is apparent in other contexts that use freedom as the narrative)
Good job Scotland. I hope that they are staying in jail for a long time.
I have expreienced this and it is truly frightening.... good for Scotland
It’s illegal here in US as well, however it’s not pursued legally as it should be. It’s so hard for me to understand her possible reasoning for not having a gun seeing how that IS perfectly legal in the US and would have, in all likelihood saved her life. There is also the option of preemptive action (NOT so legal, but definitely life saving!). I then realized that all I was thinking fell into the category of blaming the victim for having been murdered...and for that I am so sorry, because it’s wrong, period!
“ stalkers can roam with impunity”... this says it all. Thank you for another thorough analysis.
♥️👍♥️
She obviously new he was very dangerous, but she did all she could, and I guess having the 8 year time span with nothing happening she must have felt the threat was over, very scary.
I think she should have carried a firearm, pepper spray just doesn't cut it. When she told her friends that she didn't know how to protect herself that broke my heart, she lived in California and worked in a very left-leaning field and I think that the idea of a firearm for self defense didn't even cross her mind. If you are being stalked, get yourself armed and learn how to use it. It would be such a better outcome for this monster to take 2 to the chest and for her to get away.
Dr.Grande is right that there should have been other means for her but the cold hard reality of the world is that, like he says, there are no consequences for stalkers the majority of the time and no help available, and it's not because people don't care but there are complicated things that cannot be overcome like the guilty beyond a reasonable doubt and the effort and expense of a prosecution that will probably fail, certain things aren't illegal and it would be hard to see how, that's how stalker's are so dangerous, they repeat threatening but ostensibly legal behavior that just steps up to the line and in many cases when they cross it there is no evidence or record. I think that getting armed is a good step to take in these situations because you know that every other means of defense is so flawed.
@@bencheevers6693 Agreed about the firearm, and maybe a rottweiler as well. So sad
@@bencheevers6693 I was looking for such a comment about getting a firearm because that's what I would, as a woman, do in this situation too. A stalker is a selfish coward. Most of them just need the sight of a gun to back the hell off. And if a person is trained on handling a firearm, he/she could safely fire warning or non-fatal shots to scare or disable the assailant. It didn't need to end like this for Amie...
Yea,definitely
Such a sad case...she had everything to live for. Good show, Dr. Grande, and nice shirt, nice color on you. 👍
I'm not diagnosing Dr Grande but that shirt color is common among malignant narcissists.
Totally suits the doc !!
@@natehbrotherroy17 🤣 That’s mean!
She might be educated but she earned her money in a disgusting way. Working with adult industry, you get what’s coming to you.
@@LegBuilder smh
She sounds like she was an interesting and very kind person. How sad that the world lost her.
Not rly, she looked like a high on herself hollywood wanna be star person who doesn’t care much except if she is getting payed. All good she has done she done it for the fame. Atleast she looked like that and looks like she had a bit of daddy issues.
@@user-w8jhtre23 - amazing skill you have to get into someone's personality and motivations purely by looking at them.
Its always the good people this happens too. Have you noticed that?
@@user-w8jhtre23 Dude, you got rejected by her?? Why so salty? You sound like the killer rly!! 🤦🏻♂️
@@stevearcher6100 i dont think many picked up on hanging around playboy mansion, and porn stars . i also think she got with Drew Carey for his status and money. id love to hear what he really thinks of her, i bet she has a toxic side also.
Thank you for understanding what stalking is Dr Grande, very few people do. When it happened to me (my ex) I had to inform one manager and she said that she wished her husband would love her that much. 😪This is not love, it is a debilitating experience that slowly crushes your joy, your sense of safety and massively increases your paranoia. It is terrifying, you see your pursuer everywhere and question your sanity. Thankfully the Police were sympathetic and helpful but I was in despair for a while.
I feel so sorry for this unfortunate woman, her life taken away so violently but an evil man. May she rest in peace. She made the world a better place with her good work.
I was stalked by an ex. I withdrew from all social media and changed my phone, and after 3 months not being able to contact me she sent her two brothers round. That was great, I much prefer to face the danger I'm in than having it hanging over my head. I pursuaded them to leave and never saw them or her again. I think the message I sent back with them convinced her.
Such a heinous hitch in our laws that a woman has to end up dead before her abuser/attacker/stalker is held accountable.
Societal misogyny
That’s the police for you. Never there when you need them, only there to clean up a crime scene. That’s why having a weapon is key, preferably one that you can use from a distance.
@@FollowmedowntheNumberWhole Your comment doesn’t make any sense
@@ToyotaGuy1971 you have some serious issues. Go back to your incel/MGTOW forums.
@@FollowmedowntheNumberWhole Uh-oh. You've brought out all the incels.
That shirt is just peachy!
🍑🍑🍑
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🍑😂
😁😁
😂😂😂😊
Ive been stalked before and again by the same person very recently. No one takes you seriously, especially the law.
That must be terrifying, I pray you stay safe🙏
Hello. Me too. It suuuuuuuuuuucked(cubed). Please keep going to your local police (daily if you must) until you find someone there that DOES listen!
Move to a different state
Just a suggestion. Take it, or toss it. Find a GOOD Martial Arts Teacher, who also knows street fighting techniques, as a last resort. Buy a gun, or don't. If you do, train with it until you can handle it like it's part of you. Put N alarm system on your windows, and doors, and beef up your doors. Know that ( and they WILL teach you this) if you point a gun at anybody, DO NOT do it if you're not 100% sure you can pull the trigger. Keep yourself aware of your surroundings when you're out and about. And most of all, have back up plan for your back up plan. That has saved me numerous interactions with a former stalker. Oh, and always remember, once a stalker, always a stalker ( or at least you have to assume that). Read as much as you can about the subject. If you do all these things, he may lose interest. Especially if you don't react to his crap. But...keep a notebook ( slide it under your couch) and every single time he tries to contact you write it down. If he talks to your family, friends or neighbors, write it down. And, if you file a Restraining order, be aware that he's likely to ignore it. File it anyway. Then call the Police every single time he "accidentally " runs into you at a store, etc.., If , ultimately, something happens where he hurts you, you'll have a great paper trail, and the police will take you more seriously, than if you're vague about your complaints about him. Screen all your calls. A yone who isn't in your contacts can always , and WILL leave a message for you if something is THAT important to them. Just a few suggestions, like I said. Do what you wish with it.
@@BaronSaturday66 oh stop already! Police cannot possibly be all things to all people who need them at all times! There are not enough of them! Do not out them on e this country down. I AGREE THAT SHE SHOULD TAKE IT SERIOUSLY ENOUGH TO PREPARE HERSELF CORRECTLY. Watching the movie ENOUGH with Jennifer Lopez will help her in doing this. And the Karate Kid series, no joke. THAT is what every one of us good people should have under our belt (the evil people need not read this!).
Having a stalker was the exact reason I started watching your videos years ago, the first video I watched was about Narcissistic personality disorder..The laws need to be more severe when it comes to this type of situation. Thank you for bringing awareness.❤
When her picture popped up in this video as the Doc was talking, I was legitimately taken aback by how pretty this woman was.
Yes, so beautiful, stunning eyes and obviously a curious and inspiring brain♥️.
She's not "pretty", she's well groomed. I guarantee you, anyone can pile on makeup and do up their hair and look good. If you doubt this, have you SEEN any of the before and afters on youtube?
@@dortesandal4303 yeah that’s obvious by the way she made sure to surround herself with quality people and she had loved ones around her to protect her…
@@SirenaSpades Exactly. I looked her up on a search to see more images. She does herself up well but her features aren't outstanding.
@@SirenaSpadesshe was certainly prettier than you, inside and out.
This one really scared me Doc. I just found out my long-term stalker from years ago lives less than a block away. I haven't noticed any contact and I'm unsure how to proceed. You are right, there is no handbook for dealing with these people 😰
Be safe please!
The Gift of fear.
~~~~~~~~~~~ By
Gavin De Becker
Let your local police know your fear through their ‘non emergency services’. It’s valid.
When at all possible do not be seen by him. This triggers them greatly, along with talking to the more texting Facebook etc. any contact is not good. Dress and appear different to how you were when he knew you. If possible I would move.
This is not good what is the probability that this location of your stalker is just random? Please dont downplay this.....
Wow...she had the financial and intellectual ability to do everything right, more than what anyone should even have to do in such a situation, and it seems as though it was so easy for him to do it as soon as he felt like it.
Great analysis along with a caring tone.
Almost ten years she suffered and feared this outcome - truly horrifying
Thank you for this video about an underappreciated topic.
Even in cases where stalking does not lead to murder, it's terrifying for the victim. The anxiety can be really torturous.
This is such a horribly tragic case. Thank you for remaining respectful while discussing it.
How completely sad and frustrating for this poor woman! Nowhere to turn or look to except over her shoulder for years and years. No one should have to live their life that way and she did until she was murdered. So sad.
Stalking kills your soul slowly and painfully, and leaves you feeling scared, tired and paranoid. Sometimes the only solution is leaving your town or country and even that seems not enough. Thanks Dr Grande, hopefully one day authorities and mental health professionals take this issue as seriously as you do.❤️
The thoughtful care you put into this topic was incredibly touching, Dr. Grande!
At best, stalking victims live a life of fear, and there's no need to say what the worst is. Amazing episode! ♡
This is one of the most tragic cases I’ve seen you cover. The way she did everything she was supposed to and was still murdered is so terrifying and heartbreaking.
Another great take Dr. G, I think you addressed the "why didn't she get a gun" argument very well: not everyone is capable of/willing to take things to that degree, and at any rate it offers no "surefire" solution to the problem. I recall another case of stalking where the woman had her armed bf come over to her parents house with her the night things went down, and the all of them ended up dead because the stalker was watching the house and chose the right time to strike.
If she made any mistake here, I think it was talking to him at the convention and afterwards: he was quoting voicemails from 8 years ago and berating her as if things had just happened, and it's hard to imagine any productive interaction could happen under those conditions. As in the Jodi Arias case, one must take heed when dealing with the mentally unstable: it seems the interaction only agitated the stalking mind-state (if indeed it was dormant). Of course, just seeing her again may have been enough, even if she had shut down the conversation immediately, and this doesn't not mean it was "her fault" for giving his delusions life again, but it is a caution for those empathetic souls who feel obliged to give crazy their time and space: we may just be giving the fire the fuel it needs to consume us.
Dr Grande should maybe address the victim blaming / misogyny on some of these comments in another video ...
For real. Some of the stuff I've read thus far in the comments ranges from shallow to upsetting. His perspective on them would be helpful.
THIS
I dont think we are hearing everything about her here. id like to hear what Drew carey had to honestly say why he broke it off with her.
@@tankthearc9875 what the heck does that have to do with anything??? WTF
@@tankthearc9875who the fuck cares what Drew Carey ( her ex fiancée ) thinks about her ? You need to check yourself and sit down.
Abuse at an early age or whatever the case, doesn't excuse someone from their actions, especially as an adult. Dangerous people out there.
It’s not an “excuse”, it’s a reason (BIG difference!).
You’re being one dimensional. There are a lot of variables that are factored in when considering the development of the human mind. Sometimes, several factors come together and the “perfect storm” is created. That’s not to say that these people don’t know right from wrong, they do, and they need to be taken out of society so as not to put ANYone else at risk.
@@noobie7719yea, away from it!!!
I always like Dr Grande’s videos before I see them. His videos are always entertaining.
*I do as well! I know im going to like them, and its become somewhat of a system for me. I'll 'like' a video when I watch it, that way I know what videos I've already watched. Then, if its a bad video, after I watch it I just 'dislike' it.*
*To be sure, I never dislike any of Dr Grande's videos, I was referring to other videos on RUclips when I made that statement.*
@@Griselda_Puppy I absolutely knew that😁
@@Griselda_Puppy 👍🏻👍🏻
@@Griselda_Puppy omg we are the same yay
That is such a sad story. That poor woman.
Great recommendations for a conclusion.
If someone abused you once they will do it twice and it changes if you cut them off they go obsess over you and abuse go farther to real harm and death. Stay safe all. Thank you Dr. Grande 🤍🫀
@@JayJordanJuly I hope you are safe now
@@JayJordanJuly don’t blame yourself people. Emotional manipulation
The gorgeous cactus with the 🤍🤍🤍🤍 printed on it is now the center of attention in the cacti family. 🙂 Great topic btw.
I agree
Yep
Dr. Grande, I agree with others about the peachy shirt. It's a great colour!😊
Such a sad situation and a great loss of a high quality person. Thank you for sharing the story, I didn't know everything about it good to know thanks
Thanks for this. I was stalked for 4 years and in my country at the time there were no laws to stop it. It was exhausting and terrifying. Thankfully it didn't end like this case. Poor Amy. As you say, she did everything in her power to protect herself.
Dr. Grande, please post more episodes. Quickly! My habit of listening to one of your episodes to help me fall asleep isn’t mitigating my insomnia!!!
Dr. Grande, I ALWAYS find your analyses of topics to be interesting. I appreciate you! 😍
Very sad. Amy must have been so terrified in those last moments of her life. Yes, laws need to somehow change. 💔
Thanks so much Dr Grande, so eloquent and heartfelt. Amy should have been safe. It's wholly unacceptable and the law does need to change. Bless her and her loved ones, what a huge loss of someone who did so much good.
When women say they’re scared of men, this is what they mean :(
Why do they continue to become the lovers of these dangerous guys?
@@infamousla815 because the murderers are not known to, on the first date, say "oh hey, I'm going to brutally murder you one day". Disturbing number of misogynists in the comments.
@@jonnylumberjack6223 bullshit. I knew my unstable ex gf was unstable the first 2 weeks of dating. After then, it was my responsibility
It's the men who engage in mindless feminist sloganeering that women really need to watch out for. It's often the camouflage of the sexual predator.
For a fictional 4th grader from an adult animated comedy you and your friends have always been wise beyond your years. Well....except for Cartman.
Another great video Dr. Grande! Loving the peach color on you, it really suits you ☺️
Bless her sweet, giving heart! Such a devastating tragedy at a time when we need all of the truly good human beings we can get!
Pro Tip for any would be stalker:
If you value a person so highly, that you can't stop thinking about them, you have to at least stop watching any videos or photographs of them unless the person directly shows them to you, especially sultry videos or photographs. This will help you, them and any potential relationship with them in two ways: 1. You don't develop a destructive obsession over them and if you already have it, will halt it from being fed. 2. If there's ever the chance you actually get to date the person in ernest, you are way less desperate looking and less likely to rush it.
Obsession is love's greatest enemy, because it appears like it was love to the uninitiated but is actually pretty vile. At least towards real people, obsess over anime waifus all you like.
I was stalked when I was in college, it is scary. I was in a major city, and I still did not feel safe, and my practical classes ran into 10:00 at night and he followed me home twice, one time I met him on my steps. I really wish they would change the laws surroundings stalking, it is incredibly disturbing
As someone who was once stalked for nearly two years - this is terrifying.
Poor Miss Harwick, she sounded like a wonderful person.
Dr. Grande's advice on public policy matters is some of the finest I've ever seen.
This is so scary. I think she probably tried to reason with an unreasonable/unhinged man because of her profession at that event. Rest In Peace Amie.
Ps: you don’t own anyone anything especially an abusive stalker, you don’t have to give that person your time or energy because you feel “bad” for their upbringing
When I see a criminal case , I come here to listen DR Todd Grande, he always explain the cse , PERFECTLY AND IN DETAIL, BIG THANKS DR.
I wonder if FB stalking others is somehow less criminal? I would like to know why people do that?
Although:.
Some years ago one of my NHS colleagues met a girl, and their relationship although it lasted just a couple of years was not great. They always argued, he treated her terribly and he was unfaithful,
They split up and he could not leave her alone, he would come into work crying like a baby, He missed shifts we all hated it when he was in work because he shirked his job and behaved dreadfully.
His ex was admitted to the hospital where we worked, but not to our ward, we were accident and emergency and she was on an elective ward. I don't even know how he found out she was in!
It turns out he attacked her with a knife while she was on the ward, he was restrained, arrested and sectioned.
The lady in question survived. Just! She emigrated to get as far away from him as possible.
He is no longer working in healthcare but I heard he married some poor soul last year!
If women being physically stalked can't be helped we're in so much trouble when it comes to social media. It's so sad that your colleague emigrated in the end. :( :( :(
Bravo on emigration.
Bravo
Wow, someone married him? Could she have not known what he did to the lady in the hospital??
If you can find out where he lives and who he married. Inform the police via an anonymous system. Just in case he does something and it prevents things getting really bad. All you can do unfortunately.
This case is so tragic. The irony is not lost on me.😢Thank you for compassionate and informative analysis Dr Grande💛
It's a very sad situation.
I can't imagine being stalked.
Thank you.
You are an advocate for people who are victims who are being harassed. Great opinions!!
Excellent another early Dr Grande video.
Dear Dr G, great new shirt. Tragic ending with Harwick's death, of a talented and exceptional woman. Pity she did not up the security - big time. I take no chances. Steel bars over all ground floor windows, deadlocks and high megapixel camera's = so far so good.
A tragic case. I heard about it in passing, thanks to the Drew Carey connection. Glad to know more about it Dr. Grande.
So am wondering if you have heard of 'tapping,' or acupressure points, as a form of therapy? I read about it once in a book.
The one case that stayed with me was the one by a stalker. He said, he was stalking, knew he was, knew stalking was wrong, that if he did not stop he could be locked up. But just could not stop. Until a therapist tried acupressure points with him, and he stopped. He could not explain it, but was grateful. He said something along the lines of it ending, or releasing, his obsession with the poor woman.
Have you have heard of this type of thing? And do you think there is any truth to it?
Thanks.
EFT Emotional Freedom Technique “Tapping” an effective Therapy
Excellent coverage of this murder. You are aware how dangerous ‘stalking’ behavior is. 🤔😢
Ah sure ur a grande fellow( good) as we say here in Ireland...🇮🇪 great time for you Mr Big
I’ve been catching up on the videos with Dr. Grande this am, I truly can say, many of the ones lives that were taken to soon can really, truly, help so many with red flags, and so much awareness. I’d absolutely love to see Dr. Grande do a video to help so many, being stocked is very scary. We need many ones to bring awareness on saving lives. I always carry away much safety, & I always share with others.
THE ONLY WAY A STALKER WILL STOP STALKING - WHEN ONE OF YOU IS DEAD. - Shelley
Thanks Shelley
Are you quoting yourself?
@@mengoinggodsway9024 I don’t think I can take anyone seriously named “heroes of social justice” with a gay Jewish flag pfp
Your Analysis's are Outstanding and Sooo Remarkable Dr.!! I Enjoy Them Sooo Much!! Thank You as Always!!!
This world is scary but it's even scarier when you're a woman. I always have to look behind me when I walk outside on my own due to my own personal stalker as well as an online stalker. Which is why I use this pfp and I'm actually not Korean. I hate living like I'm paranoid, but as women, you cannot let your guard down. Stay safe
Dr. Grande the same could happen to anyone. I learned in a sociology course specific to what I was last studying in that men studying in a university or college program are being targeted with violence more often than men get attacked elsewhere too. Unfortunate that no one, like a policeman, took the time to tell Amie how to upgrade her locks and secure her balcony better. Like reinforcing balcony railings and installing a four [3 inch] screw strike plate box in both front and back door frames. New homes need that upgrade too. Monitoring systems and practicing mindfulness always during waking hours helps protect a person too.
This is a great comment. Many people like to take the responsibility off themselves & ask for cops (or other regulatory body) to do more… that thought process is a waste of time. Everybody needs to get their heads out of their phones and be mindful & aware. Look to the right and to the left & run from danger at the earliest signs of it…We should all be scanning our environments As an innate survival instinct…not because we live in fear, but because we’re too smart to assume somebody else will be doing it for us…
Makes me wonder how many people have just killed their stalker to end the fear. Like one day, they've just had enough, and decide to flip the dynamic. You have to figure it's happened at least a few times given the lack of protection provided by the law for stalking victims.
Another excellent analysis, Dr Grande. Thank you for making this video.
You have interesting details that I hadn't heard. I just read that he "yelled" at her at the event, not that they spoke for 45 then 30 minutes. Yikes! Obviously, she thought that by being "nice" and talking to him, it might help. Unfortunately, it did not. He was a good-looking guy and could have easily found another love. Obsession is scary!
Even with insight It's hard for agreeable people to deal with narcissism in all sorts of ways, internal and external.
Maybe she was just trying to avoid triggering him and causing a scene? Who knows.
I would’ve call security to escort him out. If security ignores me, I’d call the police. I’d never talk to him because that’ll give a narcissist the impression that their tactic works or you’ve changed your mind about them.
"Another love!?" He never loved her!
i think they were on and off, it wasnt a typical stalker case as being shown.
I knew a girl while I was in college who was a victim of stalking and the police never did anything because her stalker (luckily) never escalated to violent behavior. But she went through months of hell with this creeper following her around at a distance, writing her cards, and leaving her hand carved wooden baby toys...
I really appreciate you taking time to speak thoughtfully about the inadequacies of solutions for people who are being stalked. It is exhausting to be in that position and it seems we always end up discussing all the things that WEREN'T done to protect the victim. And by then it's too late, as you mentioned. I do hope we see some changes in the amount of protection available. I'm at a loss for what exactly that would look like, but of course that's precisely why it so often happens that stalking victims are under protected. We can't seem to come up with The Solution on this issue.
Life in prison, or death sentence would do. Or be sent to mental asylum. But I guess laws, justice system cater criminals
She was so beautiful. Very sad.
What her looks gotta do with?
The music playing at her door: Every breath you take...
Justice shall prevail!!!!
A Smith & Wesson brand security system seemed to be in order.
Not everyone is able to face the reality of the need for lethal force. Getting to that realization is a process.
Smith & Wesson also invented the very first “point and click” interface.
Did you listen to the entire video? Dr. Grande addressed the point about getting a fire arm.
@@garmtpug Yes, and I know.
@@YTInnovativeSolution LOL! I'm stealing that one.
Your content is always interesting. Thank you for providing this content.
In my opinion, the mental health effects on victims of stalking and continuous harassment are underestimated by courts and society in general.
I've seen it happen to good friends of mine. The emotional scarring and fear that it instils in a person can last for years.
I remember listening to you on this months ago, but I’m gonna listen again because I may have dozed off to your cat like purring abilities..
Either way it’s good to see you Dr. Grande🌵.
Excellent as always. . . Thank you Dr. Grande❕💛
Amazing job. I love your insights into these cases. 8 years is a long time!!! I like that shirt Dr.Grande.
How about a case on John Nash? That would be interesting. Thx!
I lived this life. The day my stalker was served with a Restraining order, he came to my home after work, looked me right in my face, waved the paper in my face, and stated " This is just a piece of paper, nothing else, it doesn't matter one bit!". Hecontinued to show upevery si gle day after I got home from work, he'd be waiting on my front porch. Ignoring him only made things worse. He was violent when we were married, and he only escalated. I had kids to protect. I remarried, and he still stalked me. The final straw was when I went to drop my Granddaughter off at the sidewalk, because her Daddy was over at his house visiting HIS Dad, ( my ex) . Things had been civil for quite a while). I opened the door to my pickup, took my Granddaughter out of her carpet, and set her on the side walk leading up to my ex's house. Like I said he drank a LOT, and suddenly I heard my Son yell from the porch "DAD!, what are youv doing!?" I tried to jump in my truck as fast as possible as he was running full out towards me. He slammed the truck door as hard as he could by hitting it. My lower legs had crush injuries to them across the shin bones. In shock I drove home, He had moved in 4 blocks away from our new house, and I knew then, he would always try to hurt me...he felt he owned me. This was insane. I sat with ice packs on my legs, and my new Husband wanted nothing more than to go shoot my ex's kneecaps. I told him he wasn't going to prison, his Kids, and Grandkids, and I needed him here.
Ironically, the idiot made the mistake of calling me, still slightly drunk, and started screaming and telling me about how next time he would make it worse ( Like that hadn't happened when we were previously married) .
Something just "clicked " in my brain. Like a switch being turned on or off. I simply yelled at him to " Shut UP! And then as calm as ever I told him ...if he EVER hurt me again, if he ever broke into my house again ( he'd done so 6
times AFTER I moved to a different house,because he insisted it was HIS house, and as long as our kids were living there he could come & go whenever he wanted) and like I stated before the Restraining Order meant nothing to him) I would shoot him dead. I told him I was DONE living in fear, he'd had 15 years of his sadistic fun with me, and I was "DONE!". Stunned silence on the other end of the line, then very quietly " Would you repeat that"? I said " Repeat what" ? The fact that I'm going to stop your abusing me one way or another? I think you heard me loud & clear the 1st time."
Years & years later? He still makes asinine comments at the Grandkids Graduations, and I just smile, and ignore him. He leaves me alone now.
Must've felt so good to take control. Although I wonder why other family members still tolerate him after witnessing what he did, why is he even being invited to graduations and the like?
@@anonymouse6703 Because he is their Father. I am Civil to him. He has gone through a lot of heavy crap in the last 30+ years.
Although, I'll never fully trust him again, He has mellowed ( except when he's drinking) a lot. Don't be fooled, I stay aware when he is around. If our grown children want to forgive him ( and he has done some pretty unforgivable things) and see him sometimes , then that's on them. They're free to choose, and make their own decisions. I will say, as of a year ago he had alienated every single child we had. He called ME wanting to know what was "wrong" with these kids. I talked to him and you'd him kindly, but firmly he was an alcoholic, and had some real issues. And, if he ever hoped to heal things with the kids he better get some help.
@@reneet5858 oh ok yes, that'd be the logical answer. I've had such toxic issues with my own family that at a young age, I made the decision to emotionally disconnect and leave them, and I forget sometimes that most people wouldn't cut their family ties like that. You sound like a very patient and empathetic person, and your kids and husband are lucky to have you :)
Nice work! I love stories like this. Not worrying about what the cops will do you you took control and flipped the script & That’s what they need.
Does anyone else think it’s an extreme irony that a stalker who feels he/she is “destined to be with” their target
will kill that person?
Well if the other person just can’t see that they’re meant to be, then that’s their fault and they deserve to be punished.
I’m being sarcastic but it shows stalking is about dominant on and ownership, not unrequited love.
No because it’s all about control. if I can’t have you nobody will.
homicide in their mind may represent the ultimate form of dominance over the victim
That's how nuts they are. No ability to think rationally! So scary!
No. I don't see irony - I just see a pathetically dysfunctional and inadequate little man extracting a horrific and total "revenge".
This case and your most recent Patreon video are cautionary tales about the dangers of stalking. I think stalking has become even easier nowadays with the increase in our electronic communications. Cyberstalking does come to mind, although it does not require physical contact, it is just as insidious.
This is a heartbreaking story of a beautiful, successful woman who was helping so many others and ended up losing her life in such a tragic manner.
Thank you for bringing this topic to light Dr. Grande, I think we all need to know more about stalking, its dangers and ways to protect oneself. You review is much appreciated.❤️
I wanted to thank you for your kind reply to my last post. I didn't really want to continue that thread, but I thought your response was kind and thoughtful. You come across, to me, as a grounded optimist, which I certainly appreciate. I like to think I'm the same, in that regard.
Stalking though, that's a tricky one to deal with... The cyber aspect makes things even easier for stalkers. About 10 years ago, I remember I was talking to a coworker about my house, and I remember him instantly pulling up a picture of it without me telling him my address. It suddenly dawned on me just how much information is out there. Eh, I don't have the attention span for stalking someone, but I've looked up people before and yeah, you can find a lot of information about people, it's kind of scary. I couldn't even imagine actually being famous and what those people must have to deal with even without the papparazzi.
@@sato7320 You are most welcome and thank you:)
Your post left a big impression on me. I still reflect on the things you said. Furthermore, your honesty and insight really stood out to me.
About your experience - whoa!! That’s really creepy. I can’t even imagine what I would do in a situation like this.😰
Stalking is serious and like you said it’s fairly easy to find information about people online. In addition to that, there is social media stalking such as persistent unwanted messaging/DMs or stalking someone’s activities, which may not seem dangerous at first but it may become a bigger issue if not contained. It’s really a fine line because social media is here to stay but at the same time we need to protect our privacy.
@@rejaneoliveira5019 I think some people post a bit much on places like Facebook. I don't really post much. I don't think anyone's going to be interested in where I went to lunch.. except maybe a stalker. 😄 I guess some people are social in that way, and that's fine, but people should be mindful that they're broadcasting their activities to the whole world.
@@sato7320 I couldn’t agree more. I decided not to open a Facebook account but I do have an Instagram one, which I hardly ever post anything. I prefer to keep that way.
Wow! She was really beautiful! Great commentary! Love ❤️ your channel (and your shirt) 😘
Thank you for bringing awareness to this topic.
We don’t need new laws for a lot of things in the US but we definitely need more protection against stalking! 🥺😰 Horrible case. Excellent video Dr. Grande!! 💕👍🏼💕
What a waste of an amazing individual. She sounds like an incredible woman. Intelligent, empathic, open minded, non judgemental and an absolute go getter.
Her brother summed it up, she always wanted to know how other people are doing rather than focus on herself.
I love that she gave discounted rates to adult industry workers.
What an amazing person, just living her life, enjoying the perks that came with her fame as well but a really genuine Dr.
What a beautiful soul... 😢
@ Dr. Grande and community... This sounds like a sad case that didn’t have to end this way. Sick on the side of the stalker! 🤔❤️🇺🇸
Love your relaxed manner in this video !
Great as always
2nd!
@@BucketHeadianHagg congratulations 👏
This is so sad. Good analysis
Thanks you!
Stalking itself should be a criminal offence. Unfortunately stalking and other sorts of intimidation that abusive partners (current or ex) choose to do seems to be mostly legal. The effects can be terrible for the victim.
Exactly. We’re also getting stalked by Apple, Google, RUclips, & cameras in highways, stores, etc. etc.… cameras everywhere. If you file an insurance claim it’s legal for adjusters stalk you to make sure you’re not doing anything You say you can’t do. Everyone’s acting like they’re in a Third World mob. It’s unbelievable that all of this is allowed to happen. Nothing is sacred anymore.
My friend also felt like she could be violated at any random moment, her ex stalked her for years and years, driving up next to her on the freeway, getting into her apartment. Years of harassment, threats and burglary. Protection order worthless. Police could only pick up the guy and release him, multiple times. Never killed her, just her ability to relax.
i have no doubt her stalker being there was no coincidence
Dr. Grande, I love your merch! One request, or rather question? I’d love to be able to purchase from past collections. There is this one thing you had that I was in love with but it must have been shortly before your new line. Don’t get me wrong, new line is great, but the one I want is like what I consider your OG line.
Also I love how you still respond with a like to a lot of our comments even though you’re famous now.
Lastly, your humor is the best and I laugh my ass off every time.
Thank you Doctor Grande. Would you consider giving your analysis on Edie Bouvier Beale and Edie Ewing Bouvier Beale? I'd love to hear you speculate about what could be happening in a situation like theirs. : )
Never heard of this case, is it one or two ppl?
@@beejavaid4512 They are relatives of Jackie Kennedy. A well known documentary Grey Gardens was based on their puzzling, but interesting, eccentricities.
@@beejavaid4512 two people, a mother and daughter. As Evelyn Waugh commented, relatives of Jackie Kennedy, and interesting eccentrics.
That is so terrifying and disheartening that she did everything a rational person would or could do to protect herself from this stalker but it still did not work!!! I like that version in Scotland some commenter stated that if there are at least two instances of stalking behavior, the stalker gets arrested. It is terrible that it is obvious to everyone that some person has bad intentions but the police won't do anything until you have been attacked?
Harwick was so out of her killer's league. She was bright, beautiful, very educated and financially stable, even if Drew Carey said she had some difficulties. May she RIP.
I have never been a stalking victim and don't think it's likely that I ever would be. However, I heard what steps Amie took (by the way I am a Pepperdine MBA and also lived in both Hollywood and W. Hollywood.) I think prayer is in order as well. So among other prayers, I do pray the Auxilium Christianorum daily followed by the prayers for the Society of the Most Sorrowful Mother. I also pray to my Guardian Angel night and day.
Jesus I place my Trust in Thee.
This is very sad. Thank you for this video Dr. G. I wasn’t aware of this story.
Thanks for your analysis Doctor. What I don't understand is why she did not file charges against him for assault. He would have gotten some jail time wouldn't he ? I also think the only protection against a maniac like this is a gun.
Great video, I’ve dealt with stalkers before and this is definitely good information.
Years ago, I met with my attorney to file a restraining order. My attorney asked me if the person carried a concealed weapons permit. I said, "yes." The attorney simply stated, "a piece of paper will not stop a bullet." Instead, it can anger this individual more, just knowing they have an obstacle to overcome.
The stalking got worse. My husband and I went to the police. The officer told us that the individual has every right to do what they were doing, until they caused us (or our daughters) harm.
Those comments have stayed with me and my husband. We moved away and live every day to the best of our abilities.
By living our life and being happy, we believe it creates more pain for the individual that was putting us through hell.
Good living is the best revenge. God bless you.!
Thank you, Dr. Grande!