The way he describes how much his girlfriend has changed his life gives me hope that one day I might be able to change as well. I love how they are able to understand eachothers' conditions so well.
I am so sorry you have this illness. It is so helpful for us to know how psychotic patients feel so we can begin to understand the extend of the physical and mental distress. I work in mental health and I am sorry to say we don't have an idea how our patients really feel. Thank you for sharing your story!
Hey man, I love your videos. I was diagnosed with schizophrenia last year, and I'm having a difficult time with getting my family to understand what I deal with. my mom seems to think that it's pretty much like depression, and I can just kinda get over it in a way. I'm schizoaffective which is bipolar and schizophrenia, so I have a really tough time, and I'm sure we both have different struggles, especially Cuz even schizophrenia alone is different for different people. But I was wondering if you could make a video for maybe the people who know someone suffering from schizophrenia, to help them understand more what it's like at least for you, when you were going through your most difficult times. This video already helped so much and gonna try to show my family because the thing you explained happens to me almost daily and it's so hard and nobody seems to understand the gravity of it. I have to constantly keep coping to make sure I don't go into that state and it's so tiring. and it makes me not wanna do stuff because I'm so scared to get into that state and of course that causes problems in my family. anyways sorry for ranting, idk if you can understand that or relate, but if you can, I'd love to see a video Maybe just explaining to others like what it's like on a Daily basis, helping them understand the gravity of this fucked up illness. etc. if anything, thanks for the videos. they help a lot, you've helped me understand myself better and put shit into words and that's helped all on its own. stay positive man.
Triston Leavitt schizoaffective disorder is NOT the same as schizophrenia. I'm a nurse and work with psychiatric patients all the time. they aren't the same.
William Meister which is why I said "I'm schizoaffective so I know we must have different struggles" I said I have schizophrenia at the beginning because I've been diagnosed disorganized schizophrenia twice and also schizoaffective so I don't know exactly what to believe. Either way though.
I think there is a lot more to reality than we see. Take it or leave it. If ya got that darkness around. Man theres sombody who can help ya. Jesus. Ya ya. This is that comment. But hey. What could it hurt. Ive felt his power. Met him. No darkness can handle him. Strait up.
This is a great video. I've been watching your older vids, and you seem to be much more coherent in this video. I'm very grateful that you share your experiences with us so that we can better understand what you and others go through, having schizophrenia. I love seeing your progress and I'm so glad that you are strong and comfortable enough to post these types of vids. Thank you so much for everything you have taught your audience!
Thank you for the video. You've been hallucinating a girl from the Ring after you watched the movie, because it's then when your brain had information about her, your brain is projecting your fears and worries into all of your senses, it's creating an alternate reality for you based on your experiences. It's incredible, fascinating, unique experience. The movie is scary. I watched it when I was young too and had nightmares from it. I was even afraid while being awake. I think it's best to stop watching horror movies. I took a 7-8 year break from watching horror movies. I prefer comedies. Next time it happens some creepy hallucination, you should laugh, watch something uplifting, I'm serious, it might go away. I'm happy for you guys, you found each other and your meds are working, you can lead completely normal lives. And it's incredible that you're both finding time to help others with these videos, to inspire them and provide comfort for them. And I also have to say that your video topics are awesome, you're covering all the important stuff, very informative and helpful.
I'm so happy that you have such a wonderful, supportive girlfriend. Thank you so much for uploading videos. They're interesting, insightful, and informative.
I completely understand why you wouldn't want everyone to know your own personal business, I understand that b/c I am so much the same way! But what you need to realize is your are one of the most incredibly gifted people with this illness and your explanation of your daily struggles open the eyes of so many who misunderstand schizophrenia. You are doing extremely difficult work but your gift of communicating your innermost struggles enables everyday people to understand on the most basic level your ability to cope (or not) with your illness. Your bravery in relating this disease to millions of people is astounding and I applaud your every effort to record and preserve your personal struggle with schizophrenia and to present it to people who may be able to help with encouragement and dollars for more research and better medicines. Your friend-Sharon in DC
Always love hearing more detailed personal information about your illness. I know schizophrenia is different in lots of ways for everyone that has it, and I find it interesting to learn what specifically the illness is to you. Thank you for feeding my curiosity, Jacob (:
My best friend has schizophrenia and I hear her talk about the voices and it must be horrible for people with this condition. I think you are all amazing and so strong and you are amazing for uploading these videos and being so honest. I'm really glad achizophrenia is something people are finally starting to talk about openly. It's thanks to people like you that we are getting to see the real face of this condition, not the media stereotype. You are all regular people and in a lot of ways so much stronger than lots of people.i think you are a very intelligent guy and I wish you all the best in the future. I have watched a couple of you videos and I am glad to hear you are so happy with your girlfriend. It so important for all of us to have the one person in our life that truly accepts us np matter what. I have an anxiety disorder and I haven't found anyone yet to truly understand me but I'm glad you have. You are a wonderful and inspiring young man. I am going to show your channel to my friend as she will relate you a lot :) thanks
You have every right to keep stuff to yourself. Thank you for explaining what you go through. I had an uncle who was Schizophrenic and he was a professor at Cornell one day he wandered off and we couldn't find him. 20 some years later his remains where found in California. So this is interesting for me to learn. So I appreciate you posting these vids and I'm happy you found such a wonderful girlfriend.
your story is pretty amazing.... your words have a profound impact on everyone who watches your videos, so thank you very much for sharing, even though it can be difficult at times. Sending you lots of good vibes and love from Australia !! (ps still fangurling over the fact your gf wants to visit Australia, just makes her more awesome !)
My partner has schizophrenia....and you have helped me out so, so much with your videos. Thank you really so, so much, really. I want to do everything I possibly can to help him and be there for him. It's beautiful how you talk about your partner.
Thinking of you n thank you! My son has symptoms as you speak of. He’s non verbal and it’s very hard watching him when he is hallucinating but your videos help by describing it in words. He hits his ears when the sounds come. As you say it’s not pleasant! Thank you so much for your videos. My son had a brain tumor removed when he was 2 and he’s got mild cerebral palsy. Drs. Think this caused his mental condition. I don’t know, all I know is it’s hard to watch. And I feel worse for him. I want to thank you again for your videos. They help. I hope you have better days and the hallucinations go away! Your a good person who deserves the best in life! ❤️👌😃🙏👊
I think you're fab. I love the way you keep it real and raw and don't edit even when you're telling us about personal or really scary stuff. You're teachings so many people about schizophrenia. People who don't have it but know people who have it. You're extremely articulate and can help us know what you go through even though. It must be ever so hard for you. And lastly but absolutely not leastly, I'm so happy you've got a lovely girlfriend. Your face lights up when you talk about her. Awesomeness young man! Mostly I just love how you keep everything real.
Thank you for keeping your video real, I consider your style of conversation much more engaging rather than the constant insane cuts and edits. Keep up that approach :)
God, I feel for you. The way you describe shaking is what happens to me during an anxiety attack (I have chronic PTSD and depression.) When your whole body shakes like that, it's like your whole self is being dumped all over the floor and you feel completely drained of everything that makes you YOU.
My son has been recently diagnosed with szichoaffective and bipolar disorder, he is in total denial and does not have insight. It's very difficult to deal with, he is 23 years old . Thanks for doing these videos when you can, it is very helpful just to listen to you, I wish you the best and will continue to listen. Thanks😇
I've been trying to figure out what's up with my brain for about a decade now. My stomach dropped when you said that you hallucinate "little girls", like the one from the Ring. I had all the bases covered in terms of what Schizophrenia looks like but the hallucinations, so I thought. I even experience the "mini-seizures" you have, I call them "mini-heart attacks". Anyways just thought I'd say thanks, your video was helpful.
You are a brave and mentaly strong guy. And i admire your courage ! And the way you own it, and basicaly already defeated it, you just have to deal with it constantly. I think it wouldnt hurt if u post one with ur girlfriend filming it. Also nice to know you found a girl that really loves you and understands you. Stay strong buddy !
Thank you for your candid and honest video. Helps me understand so much more about my boyfriend and the things he's possibly experiencing being schziphrenic.
Thanks for the video :) Only time that I had hallucinations was when lowering the drug I was on. It was horrifying but helped me to know it had to do with the withdrawal symptoms of the drug rather than my actual mental issue.
Not tired of hearing about how much your lady friend has improved your quality of living! :D It's so rare to see the appreciation of eachother's partnership, & I enjoy it
I think its so incredible how many people with these problems are on here openly discussing there experience ive always been intrigued by this illness and by you guys doing these videos it answers many questions about the illness even when this is so hard to understand by this information becoming more open and available maybe we can learn more ways of helping those who suffer from this terrifying illness and can have much better lives i would have loved to be a doctor who specializes in this anyway thank you for sharing your life with us and helping us understand what you have to deal with and i pray we can find a way to end this torment and give people back there lives free of this burden
hey! you once mentioned you had an LSD trip, could you make a more in depth video about your experience, because usually more paranoid people cant really handle the trip and since you said that it was actually good experience for you, i would like to know more about it :) keep up the good work and best wishes from germany!
This is my first time seeing your channel and videos I just want to say a big thank you for sharing your experiences and letting my son know he's not alone, you can save a lot of people's lives by sharing your story and letting them know that they're not the only one. My 15 year old sons starting to have symptoms such as being paranoia and some minor hallucinations but as a mother, thank you God bless you it's helping me to learn a lot more,and understand what he's going through, it means the world to him to know "it's not just me I'm not crazy" thank you you are such a blessing please continue to do what you do I will look up some of your more recent videos and see them, I've been encouraging my son Gabriel to also start expressing his experiences maybe that can help him through it to know he's not alone for people to even give suggestions on how to deal but thank you God bless you keep doing what you do☺️🥰 much love
can you please make a video about different types of schizophrenics....my boyfriend has schizophrenia and I'm trying to be there for him as much as I can.....Please just tell me what would be helpful...I've been with him for 8 months...and I really love him....Please keep on making more videos....they're great
Good video mate hang in there you can fight this shit. Don't let it beat down your mood or whatever, you and only you are the boss of your life. You are fucking courageous I hope you are aware of that, many people would never be as strong as you are!
I know it must be really hard to go through, but it really is fascinating what the brain is capable of doing. I never thought about tactile hallucinations or taste hallucinations. Good educational video.
So incredible that you can talk about this, that you don't try to hide from it and instead try to live your life the best way that you know how to. And the shout out to your girlfriend was so sweet!
Hey Jacob...just want to tell you that you are fuckin awesome and have a great personality....glad to see you are happy!....keep your head up...you have a lot of people who want to see nothing but the best for you and who support you....you are helping so many people with your videos!!
Thank you so very much for this. I can so relate and it's refreshing - and terrifying - that there are other people who share similar stories. I just recently found out that I have schizophrenia and I'm nineteen. Also, I can attest 100% to being/feeling possessed. Certain movies and images stick with me such as movies like 'Signs' and 'War of the Worlds'. They're very real to me. I've been diagnosed with anxiety, ADD, depression, bipolar, and now schizophrenia. To sum my shit up... My shoes are in the clouds and I can't get to them. My head is floating in the air like a balloon hundreds of miles away.
Honestly you're a pretty brave guy because it sounds like a constant bad shrooms trip. And i know alot of people are gonna be like how? I dont have schizophrenia but when i was on that trip i was definetly out of touch with reality in the most worst way a person can be and i felt like i had gone completely insane, also i was alone in my room ( stupid, i know). My heart was racing like crazy.I started hallucinating eyes on the wall. I couldnt make sense of my purpose or my own being i guess. I was hearing things, like people upstairs even though i knew the people who were upstairs were asleep , its probably nothing like what you are going through. I mean you have to deal with this everyday, thats insane . Stay strong man.
Thank you so much for sharing your experience with people. My mother is going through psychosis and hallucination. Your video really made me understand my mother better. The docotrs are suggesting ect treatment but I am very scared to give the approval. What helped you to be so positive and what helps you ? Your video has helped many people I am sure. Thanks a million and all the best to you. Stay always happy with your girlfriend.
Your super brave and thank you I'm learning and it helps me, how I can understand my son. Well I've done a bunch of LSD and dude bad trip every time. From aliens to demons. Totally freak out by people and always had to go hide in the woods.
Hey. I just subscribed to your channel and liked this video, although I have been watching your videos for a while and have seen a lot of them. I was glad to see you back on here doing videos after you were gone from RUclips for months. Anyway, I have been dealing with Schizophrenia for 27 years now(it struck me when I was 18 years old when I was in the Army), and I have also been dealing with OCD for a little longer than that. I have also been struck with Depersonalization/Derealization Disorder as well, and that came about around 13 years ago or so, so I know Hell really well and then some. I however, no longer take any medication or see therapists or doctors or the like, because I have taken almost every drug, if not every drug, available on the market today for my mental illnesses, and that goes for anti-psychotics, anti-depressants, and anti-anxiety medication. I stopped taking medication because none of it really helped much, and the negative effects(horrendous side effects), FAR OUTWEIGHED the positive effects(making me better), and some of the "medicines" actually made my conditions worse, so I said fuck that. I stopped seeing therapists and doctors and the like, because none of them really helped much either, because a lot of times I already knew what they were telling me through my own research. Plus there was the fact that it seemed like a lot of them didn't actually really care, and like I was just paying them to pretend that they do... so I said fuck that as well. So now I just try and deal with all of it on my own, and I am basically a recluse and I rarely go anywhere, but not necessarily because I do not want to. Still, I try and go do what I want to when I can. I am really glad that you found you a seemingly good woman, because speaking from my own experience, finding a good woman that loves me and stands beside me despite all of the fucking HELL that I go through on a daily basis, was a Godsend. Most women out there wouldn't do that for guys like us, so if your girlfriend is one of those that will love you and be there for you like my wife is for me, then treasure her, because that's exactly what women like that are for men like us... an absolute treasure.
Thats why they recommend to not watch horror movies or anything highly disturbing because the illness manifests in ways related to the material that may have disturbed you. Kinda like when we have nightmares after doing/seeing several things during the day, schizophrenia is like that when you're awake and it doesn't always have to be disturbing images its like flashes or images or voices. The illness is an over-active brain too much going on. You function well in my opinion even though like you said you wont show your episodes and I understand that it'd be too much to handle having that much out there online for others to see/judge/laugh at. I don't trust most of the internet people they like to judge for some reason and be hateful. I admire your courage to even admit you have to live like this. Keep on fighting and try to have as much joy as you can.
I know the taste thing all to well. It could be my favorite food, and it tastes like soap or poison, but it gets worse when I hallucinate visually because I'll see worms or stuff moving in my food at the same time as the bad taste. Which can cause me not to eat for days, if unchecked. It sucks. I feel your pain, I hope you are doing good.
I understand what type of girlfriend you have and why you speak so highly of her. My boyfriend has been a major part of my support system, and I couldn't imagine my life without him. HOORAY FOR LOVE!
I'm honored you'd share your worst with us. I don't suffer from what you have, but I have a nice life long companion called black depression with a side order of rapid cycling bi-polar disorder. Good times! But seriously... I will lift you up in prayers. I don't believe that all people who suffer from schizophrenia are possessed. Most aren't. BTW I am a Christian and I'm on several medications myself. I can become delusional at worst - self harm, self loathing. My family think's i'm making it all up. Who could make this crap up? I mean really! Anyway, God put you on my heart to pray for you.
Since you mentioned that you have hallucinations of possession, etc... Do you feel that your lack of religious belief helps you cope in any way? Or, that it helps you parse out "reality" from hallucination? I ask, b/c I am an Atheist and I would have presumed that Schizophrenia and religious/supernatural beliefs might tend to compound/compliment one another. (I saw you mention you weren't really religious in another video I watched earlier. Just discovered your channel. It's entirely possible that was an older video and perhaps your beliefs have changed. If so, I'd be interested to hear about that as well.) Is that even an accurate assumption on my part? I am glad that you have chosen to share. It is fascinating to gain some insight (since, anyone without the illness couldn't really understand) into your mindset. Congrats on quitting smoking. More than I can say for myself :)
When you talk about, that feeling like being tortured by your own brain, that's exactly what I couldn't find a phrase for, that fucking feel when you you can't do anything First I got it when I was at work, it was the most unimaginable uncomfortable feeling in my whole life. I feel so sorry for everybody experiencing it.
some things from shizofrenia stays in brain for a whole life,im sure your mind was creating scary dark things that you cannot explain and you still dont know who you were in that game...ive been through that bro...keep the faith
i understand that part "like im having a seizures" i have epilepsy i can fight it with meds and i feel headache, hear godlike figure asking questions before and during seizures. it helps me kinda accept death. eventhough i don't die ( i am an atheist, but the godlke figure feels real when i get the headache)
Good video... You are so brave to post video's on here.. I have had Schizophrenia since my early 20's. I wish I had not been born... Kind regards and all the best from Dennis .
for me hallucinations are usually just a little bit off, as far as visual goes anyway. link the shadows are wrong or they move awkward. but with tactile they feel completely accurate and I have to figure it out based of possibility, like if I'm the only one in the room, than no one can be tapping me on the shoulder. sometimes my visual hallucinations are more convincing though and I need to ask people or use context clue like I do for tactile.
Shitty Solver for the most part I've grown used to them. but some are stronger than others. strong ones still scare me. like when I felt someone grab a hold of the back of my neck hard. or when I thought there was someone else in a restroom with me.
I always ask myself how realistic visual hallucinations can get, like do they cast correct shadows on real objects, do they have reflections in mirrors or when there are foreground objects like a chair, are they correctly projected behind those objects?
As a child, I'd randomly hear my name get called in the distance. Like someone wants my attention. I'd always look for it but never find any clues to where it came from. Like I could just be walking around at my elementary school, play and have fun then suddenly someone will say my name out loud. Is this a common auditory hallucination and nothing to be worried about? I haven't heard anything else but MY NAME.
Hi , thank you for sharing your journey with schizophrenia I have found them ever so en-lighting that it has convinced me to write my first RUclips comment! I am starting to believe that I may share the same illness through symptoms you have described, which is quite scary because I don't know what to do about it. I originally thought that it could be depression, anxiety and paranoia as I was put on Sertraline 50 mg just before Christmas , which was then up'd to 100mg , so I then accepted that maybe I have depression, but now since watching your videos it makes me question do I have schizophrenia? as its all well and good your doctor just prescribing you meds but how do you know sure what you have without a diagnostic, however I am awaiting counseling. I ended up having to go on medication due to close family and friends making remarks such as "she needs help", as my behavior was extremely erratic and fueled with alcohol and drugs, so I now also have a key-worker for that. The major symptoms that stick out for me that I have is when I was 19 I overdosed on alcohol and whole box of paracetamol because I was so upset due to fighting with my bf at the time, which it then led me to going out and purchasing the box of paracetamol, then coming back and swallowing them whilst sat on the toilet crying to myself. A massive factor of me doing that was voices in my head telling me to do it and I honestly couldn't handle my brain that I just needed to switch off as I found it too much. I feel that it has also made me anti social at times due to the confusion running through my head. I think I create situations where I think people have got it in for me and I constantly override the same thought. I tend to behave erratically as a way of releasing whats going on in my head. I watched another video on schizophrenia and the girl mentions if you create faces out of things for example trees or the carpet and I tend do that a lot of the time , but I didn't realize that it was a symptom I thought it was normal I also thought hearing voices was normal when a person is telling you to do something. I don't know what to think anymore , but if you could give me some sort of answer to what you think is going on with me that would be amazing, as do really need some advice. I'm really sorry for the long message I just got the vibe that you'd be understanding and willing to share your thoughts and opinions on this subject. Thank you!
The mass majority of people with schizophrenia/any form of psychosis aren't really loud or violent- not to say there aren't people like that, because of course there are- but the biggest amount actually aren't.
if the diseases goes untreated then episodes maybe be violent because the person does think they have a problem and think its everyone else so they do things to other people
This tactile hallucinations happened in my dream and it bring me to sleep paralysis. Whenever i just wanted to get rid of that hand in my dream suddenly i wake up and i didnt feel my whole body . Even it take time to remember who i am , where i am . This is really pathetic to describe the whole feelings .
I'm so scared I'll hallucinate. I have ridiculous anxiety/OCD and as a result I keep thinking I have/will contract schizophrenia. I know it doesn't work like that, but honestly I keep feeling like I'm hallucinating, seeing things and stuff, but nowhere near to someone whom actually deals with schizophrenia, hope J havent offended anyone. Thanks for sharing this anyway. really insightful.
TheAquaticBeef I've had the same fear for 11 years. a couple of those years it was so bad that I had panic attacks. it started with a bad mushroom trip and fearing that I had lost my mind/become schizophrenic and that I would permanently be that way. what started the fear for you?
Haliotro wow, it's so refreshing to hear somebody is going through the same thing! this is fairly new for me. I think it's a mixture of me thinking I'm seeing things that aren't really there and a fear that I'm going completely out of my mind, maybe due to stress. Actually, you know when you can see colours and stuff? Neon blues, greens, probably purples. Like after you close your eyes when looking at a light? Yeah, I could see those (without a migraine or prominent light source or anything) when I was going through something akin to a nervous breakdown. Also, a few days ago (I was more than likely in REM sleep though), I had my eyes slightly open and I thought I could see tiny fractals and magnetic waves and stuff, hard to explain. But I was half asleep, half awake, so I think that's why I "saw" it, or maybe it's because I wear glasses? Anyway, I guess you could call me a hyperchondriac, because I'm constantly thinking my life is going to change drastically for the worse due to poor health or sudden death. I take one tiny little thing, and then I run with it. I've usually just obsessed over my physical health, but now things have taken a turn for the worse as I'm obsessing over my mental health, which is terrifying. Obsessing about having a mental disorder, almost makes you feel like you have it. I really don't want to get diagnosed with anything more either, so I keep checking to see if I hallucinate or hear voices and have not heard or seen anything so far (which probably sounds a bit nuts, but hey).
My Son refuses to take medication, he is always super far out, sometimes He seems like he can understand and communicate. He says' he has about 5 super bad meltdowns a year where he just looses it completely and it takes serval cops to take him down. I'm afraid he will be killed or hurt someone. The only thing I can do is pray for him everyday and that is more powerful then people know.🙏🆙
I doubt this will be seen since it is almost 2 years after this was posted, but I'm currently getting tested for schizophrenia after little over 2 years of progressively worsening symptoms. I have voices in my head that sow discord, for lack of a better description. They're almost always negative and aggressive, and if I'm having a really bad episode they become very suggestive. Ironically, they are constantly telling me I'm wasting time and there is nothing wrong. I was wondering if there is anything that can get them to stop. The other hallucinations are unpleasant, but I can never feel alone in my own head. If you see this, and know anything that can make them shut up, I'd appreciate it
Hey... im started hearing voices, my work mates telling me bad things all the time during my work. 8 hours long. I realized, this voices only in my head exist. (im not english, sorry about my english). I think we both schizo. What happened to you? Do you use already medications, or you are still without it? And how it is?
Perhaps one of your symptoms is a very mild seizure, because obviously as you said, shaking is something you get. Shaking in common in seizures, but you also mentioned being disoriented and not knowing who you are or where you are, which is usually something that seizure patients experience after convulsions.
Absolutely. But I will say that having hallucinations, even "pleasant" ones, is still not a pleasant experience. (Maybe unless we're talking about purposely placed pleasant hallucinations from psychedelic drugs or something of some sort. Even then, a pleasant hallucination can feel very unpleasant.)
I had a classmate once who saw dogs everywhere. We didn't even know she was schizophrenic until something happened (I can't remember what) and she got medicine but she said she really liked the dogs and they'd come up to her sometimes but she knew others couldn't see them so she kinda just tried to ignore them.
Actually , the hallucinations are mostly bad, because they are triggered from negative, stressful events. From things that they are not comfortable with.
This is all so interesting. I mean how the brain is able of doing these things to you. That everything suddenly starts to fight you, that the brain motivates itself and starts telling you bad things. Why bad? How does the brain know what to tell you? The operations are so complex wow. Good luck mate
High levels of acetylcholine would cause an excess retrieval of our memories and our thoughts are formed from this, low serotonin causes our worries to go unchecked, high dopamine would cause us to be unable to divert our focus and compulsions away from these thoughts, low oxytocin would cause us to be unable to determine friend from foe. Let me know if that all sounds familiar.
Michellei Rodriguez actually its really nice to see how much his life has gotten better/how much more stable he has gotten. in his older videos he really seems to be in a much worse state
i have a feeling like him n his girl will be together forever... and i feel happy for him also i hope he's taking pills for memory because he takes seraquel.... and it fucks up your memory i feel like they both are going to have a happy life...
I'm curious, have you ever tried meditating, or have you looked into it at all? I don't have schizophrenia, but I do know that after a good meditation session, I can focus so much easier the rest of the day.
I used to meditate for an hour for like a week, but I had a really hard time because with the medication I'm on, my whole body shakes, so when I closed my eyes they would shake and it was really annoying so I stopped doing it.
I have had a lot of these symptoms. But I don't think I have schizophrenia. The thing that happens to me a lot is that I will hear music for days sometimes. And it gets really loud and its like its on a loop that keeps playing over and over. I dunno. It's really weird. It gets really annoying more than anything.
It's rare to see the word triggered used in the correct context. It's most weird to hear now.
You are the coolest fucking dude!! I'm so happy that you're happy, you seem very stable right now
It's that good female lovin..
Sup? All you crazy bitches are hot. Call me.
skankhunt42 wot
Hit me up baby lol
I think you'll be fine. You can do it. This illness got the wrong guy.
The way he describes how much his girlfriend has changed his life gives me hope that one day I might be able to change as well. I love how they are able to understand eachothers' conditions so well.
I am so sorry you have this illness. It is so helpful for us to know how psychotic patients feel so we can begin to understand the extend of the physical and mental distress. I work in mental health and I am sorry to say we don't have an idea how our patients really feel. Thank you for sharing your story!
Hey man, I love your videos. I was diagnosed with schizophrenia last year, and I'm having a difficult time with getting my family to understand what I deal with. my mom seems to think that it's pretty much like depression, and I can just kinda get over it in a way. I'm schizoaffective which is bipolar and schizophrenia, so I have a really tough time, and I'm sure we both have different struggles, especially Cuz even schizophrenia alone is different for different people. But I was wondering if you could make a video for maybe the people who know someone suffering from schizophrenia, to help them understand more what it's like at least for you, when you were going through your most difficult times. This video already helped so much and gonna try to show my family because the thing you explained happens to me almost daily and it's so hard and nobody seems to understand the gravity of it. I have to constantly keep coping to make sure I don't go into that state and it's so tiring. and it makes me not wanna do stuff because I'm so scared to get into that state and of course that causes problems in my family. anyways sorry for ranting, idk if you can understand that or relate, but if you can, I'd love to see a video Maybe just explaining to others like what it's like on a Daily basis, helping them understand the gravity of this fucked up illness. etc.
if anything, thanks for the videos. they help a lot, you've helped me understand myself better and put shit into words and that's helped all on its own. stay positive man.
Triston Leavitt schizoaffective disorder is NOT the same as schizophrenia. I'm a nurse and work with psychiatric patients all the time. they aren't the same.
William Meister which is why I said "I'm schizoaffective so I know we must have different struggles" I said I have schizophrenia at the beginning because I've been diagnosed disorganized schizophrenia twice and also schizoaffective so I don't know exactly what to believe. Either way though.
I think there is a lot more to reality than we see. Take it or leave it. If ya got that darkness around. Man theres sombody who can help ya. Jesus. Ya ya. This is that comment. But hey. What could it hurt. Ive felt his power. Met him. No darkness can handle him. Strait up.
Matthew nailed it.
This is a great video. I've been watching your older vids, and you seem to be much more coherent in this video. I'm very grateful that you share your experiences with us so that we can better understand what you and others go through, having schizophrenia. I love seeing your progress and I'm so glad that you are strong and comfortable enough to post these types of vids. Thank you so much for everything you have taught your audience!
Thank you for the video. You've been hallucinating a girl from the Ring after you watched the movie, because it's then when your brain had information about her, your brain is projecting your fears and worries into all of your senses, it's creating an alternate reality for you based on your experiences. It's incredible, fascinating, unique experience. The movie is scary. I watched it when I was young too and had nightmares from it. I was even afraid while being awake. I think it's best to stop watching horror movies. I took a 7-8 year break from watching horror movies. I prefer comedies. Next time it happens some creepy hallucination, you should laugh, watch something uplifting, I'm serious, it might go away.
I'm happy for you guys, you found each other and your meds are working, you can lead completely normal lives. And it's incredible that you're both finding time to help others with these videos, to inspire them and provide comfort for them.
And I also have to say that your video topics are awesome, you're covering all the important stuff, very informative and helpful.
You genuinely care, i appreciate that dude, even if it's not aimed at me.
Lars van Koningsveld agreed xo
Beautifully written
Thanks guys! I do care a lot, even though I don't have it, my friend has it and I've been trying to motivate him based on Jacob's videos.
i have schizophrenia too but i honestly believe its some dick aliens from another universe fucking with me. try talking to the voices when your alone.
I'm so happy that you have such a wonderful, supportive girlfriend. Thank you so much for uploading videos. They're interesting, insightful, and informative.
I completely understand why you wouldn't want everyone to know your own personal business, I understand that b/c I am so much the same way! But what you need to realize is your are one of the most incredibly gifted people with this illness and your explanation of your daily struggles open the eyes of so many who misunderstand schizophrenia. You are doing extremely difficult work but your gift of communicating your innermost struggles enables everyday people to understand on the most basic level your ability to cope (or not) with your illness. Your bravery in relating this disease to millions of people is astounding and I applaud your every effort to record and preserve your personal struggle with schizophrenia and to present it to people who may be able to help with encouragement and dollars for more research and better medicines.
Your friend-Sharon in DC
Always love hearing more detailed personal information about your illness. I know schizophrenia is different in lots of ways for everyone that has it, and I find it interesting to learn what specifically the illness is to you. Thank you for feeding my curiosity, Jacob (:
My best friend has schizophrenia and I hear her talk about the voices and it must be horrible for people with this condition. I think you are all amazing and so strong and you are amazing for uploading these videos and being so honest. I'm really glad achizophrenia is something people are finally starting to talk about openly. It's thanks to people like you that we are getting to see the real face of this condition, not the media stereotype. You are all regular people and in a lot of ways so much stronger than lots of people.i think you are a very intelligent guy and I wish you all the best in the future. I have watched a couple of you videos and I am glad to hear you are so happy with your girlfriend. It so important for all of us to have the one person in our life that truly accepts us np matter what. I have an anxiety disorder and I haven't found anyone yet to truly understand me but I'm glad you have. You are a wonderful and inspiring young man. I am going to show your channel to my friend as she will relate you a lot :) thanks
You have every right to keep stuff to yourself. Thank you for explaining what you go through. I had an uncle who was Schizophrenic and he was a professor at Cornell one day he wandered off and we couldn't find him. 20 some years later his remains where found in California. So this is interesting for me to learn. So I appreciate you posting these vids and I'm happy you found such a wonderful girlfriend.
your story is pretty amazing.... your words have a profound impact on everyone who watches your videos, so thank you very much for sharing, even though it can be difficult at times.
Sending you lots of good vibes and love from Australia !! (ps still fangurling over the fact your gf wants to visit Australia, just makes her more awesome !)
Nah, honey we would never get sick of you talking about your girlfriend! ♡ You perk up anytime you talk about her. I'm glad she makes you happy!
I'm sorry about what you're going through,surround yourself with positive peoples and get positive encouragement.
This video really helped me. Thanks for your strength and bravery
My partner has schizophrenia....and you have helped me out so, so much with your videos. Thank you really so, so much, really. I want to do everything I possibly can to help him and be there for him. It's beautiful how you talk about your partner.
i love how you are dealing with this, it's so interesting to watch. Keep up man !:D
Thinking of you n thank you! My son has symptoms as you speak of. He’s non verbal and it’s very hard watching him when he is hallucinating but your videos help by describing it in words. He hits his ears when the sounds come. As you say it’s not pleasant! Thank you so much for your videos. My son had a brain tumor removed when he was 2 and he’s got mild cerebral palsy. Drs. Think this caused his mental condition. I don’t know, all I know is it’s hard to watch. And I feel worse for him. I want to thank you again for your videos. They help. I hope you have better days and the hallucinations go away! Your a good person who deserves the best in life! ❤️👌😃🙏👊
I think you're fab. I love the way you keep it real and raw and don't edit even when you're telling us about personal or really scary stuff. You're teachings so many people about schizophrenia. People who don't have it but know people who have it. You're extremely articulate and can help us know what you go through even though. It must be ever so hard for you. And lastly but absolutely not leastly, I'm so happy you've got a lovely girlfriend. Your face lights up when you talk about her. Awesomeness young man! Mostly I just love how you keep everything real.
Thank you for keeping your video real, I consider your style of conversation much more engaging rather than the constant insane cuts and edits. Keep up that approach :)
God, I feel for you. The way you describe shaking is what happens to me during an anxiety attack (I have chronic PTSD and depression.) When your whole body shakes like that, it's like your whole self is being dumped all over the floor and you feel completely drained of everything that makes you YOU.
I just discovered your channel and it has been so nice to hear from someone who is dealing with the same mental illness that I am
My son has been recently diagnosed with szichoaffective and bipolar disorder, he is in total denial and does not have insight. It's very difficult to deal with, he is 23 years old . Thanks for doing these videos when you can, it is very helpful just to listen to you, I wish you the best and will continue to listen. Thanks😇
It's good to love your girlfriend, but remember you are still an individual. Don't put the weight of the world on her shoulders.
You don't say that... She's there to support him bro... smarten up
@@-MrRichBiker1967 No, making your very existence dependent on someone else is a very very stupid idea, for obvious reasons.
594 yeah. But I doubt it's that serious. He probably just really cares about her
@@loutenant2817 True, but I was speaking more in refrence of the original comment "remember you are still an individual".
I've been trying to figure out what's up with my brain for about a decade now. My stomach dropped when you said that you hallucinate "little girls", like the one from the Ring. I had all the bases covered in terms of what Schizophrenia looks like but the hallucinations, so I thought. I even experience the "mini-seizures" you have, I call them "mini-heart attacks".
Anyways just thought I'd say thanks, your video was helpful.
loving these videos bro. keep them coming . This illness is *ucking difficult. It takes a unique patience to deconstruct this illness. thank you .
You are a brave and mentaly strong guy. And i admire your courage ! And the way you own it, and basicaly already defeated it, you just have to deal with it constantly.
I think it wouldnt hurt if u post one with ur girlfriend filming it. Also nice to know you found a girl that really loves you and understands you.
Stay strong buddy !
Thank you for your candid and honest video. Helps me understand so much more about my boyfriend and the things he's possibly experiencing being schziphrenic.
Thanks for the video :) Only time that I had hallucinations was when lowering the drug I was on. It was horrifying but helped me to know it had to do with the withdrawal symptoms of the drug rather than my actual mental issue.
Not tired of hearing about how much your lady friend has improved your quality of living! :D It's so rare to see the appreciation of eachother's partnership, & I enjoy it
I think its so incredible how many people with these problems are on here openly discussing there experience ive always been intrigued by this illness and by you guys doing these videos it answers many questions about the illness even when this is so hard to understand by this information becoming more open and available maybe we can learn more ways of helping those who suffer from this terrifying illness and can have much better lives i would have loved to be a doctor who specializes in this anyway thank you for sharing your life with us and helping us understand what you have to deal with and i pray we can find a way to end this torment and give people back there lives free of this burden
hey! you once mentioned you had an LSD trip, could you make a more in depth video about your experience, because usually more paranoid people cant really handle the trip and since you said that it was actually good experience for you, i would like to know more about it :) keep up the good work and best wishes from germany!
This is my first time seeing your channel and videos I just want to say a big thank you for sharing your experiences and letting my son know he's not alone, you can save a lot of people's lives by sharing your story and letting them know that they're not the only one. My 15 year old sons starting to have symptoms such as being paranoia and some minor hallucinations but as a mother, thank you God bless you it's helping me to learn a lot more,and understand what he's going through, it means the world to him to know "it's not just me I'm not crazy" thank you you are such a blessing please continue to do what you do I will look up some of your more recent videos and see them, I've been encouraging my son Gabriel to also start expressing his experiences maybe that can help him through it to know he's not alone for people to even give suggestions on how to deal but thank you God bless you keep doing what you do☺️🥰 much love
can you please make a video about different types of schizophrenics....my boyfriend has schizophrenia and I'm trying to be there for him as much as I can.....Please just tell me what would be helpful...I've been with him for 8 months...and I really love him....Please keep on making more videos....they're great
Thank you for sharing. Thank you for being here. Thank you for educating and advocating. You are incredibly brave. Thank you. :)
Just listening to this makes me shudder. You're very brave.
Good video mate hang in there you can fight this shit. Don't let it beat down your mood or whatever, you and only you are the boss of your life. You are fucking courageous I hope you are aware of that, many people would never be as strong as you are!
my worst is when it feels like I have tourettes inside my head and then sometimes its like I can view an alternate universe
Can relate
I know it must be really hard to go through, but it really is fascinating what the brain is capable of doing. I never thought about tactile hallucinations or taste hallucinations. Good educational video.
The message *_IS_* the quality ;)
So incredible that you can talk about this, that you don't try to hide from it and instead try to live your life the best way that you know how to. And the shout out to your girlfriend was so sweet!
Hey Jacob...just want to tell you that you are fuckin awesome and have a great personality....glad to see you are happy!....keep your head up...you have a lot of people who want to see nothing but the best for you and who support you....you are helping so many people with your videos!!
Thank you so much
you are honest and brave! thank you for being generous with your spirit and embracing your truth!
Thank you so very much for this. I can so relate and it's refreshing - and terrifying - that there are other people who share similar stories. I just recently found out that I have schizophrenia and I'm nineteen. Also, I can attest 100% to being/feeling possessed. Certain movies and images stick with me such as movies like 'Signs' and 'War of the Worlds'. They're very real to me. I've been diagnosed with anxiety, ADD, depression, bipolar, and now schizophrenia. To sum my shit up... My shoes are in the clouds and I can't get to them. My head is floating in the air like a balloon hundreds of miles away.
Honestly you're a pretty brave guy because it sounds like a constant bad shrooms trip. And i know alot of people are gonna be like how? I dont have schizophrenia but when i was on that trip i was definetly out of touch with reality in the most worst way a person can be and i felt like i had gone completely insane, also i was alone in my room ( stupid, i know). My heart was racing like crazy.I started hallucinating eyes on the wall. I couldnt make sense of my purpose or my own being i guess. I was hearing things, like people upstairs even though i knew the people who were upstairs were asleep , its probably nothing like what you are going through. I mean you have to deal with this everyday, thats insane . Stay strong man.
Thank you so much for sharing your experience with people. My mother is going through psychosis and hallucination. Your video really made me understand my mother better. The docotrs are suggesting ect treatment but I am very scared to give the approval. What helped you to be so positive and what helps you ? Your video has helped many people I am sure. Thanks a million and all the best to you. Stay always happy with your girlfriend.
Your super brave and thank you I'm learning and it helps me, how I can understand my son.
Well I've done a bunch of LSD and dude bad trip every time. From aliens to demons. Totally freak out by people and always had to go hide in the woods.
Thanks for sharing this. You're awesome for your honesty!! I love it, you're helping a lot of people.
Hey. I just subscribed to your channel and liked this video, although I have been watching your videos for a while and have seen a lot of them. I was glad to see you back on here doing videos after you were gone from RUclips for months.
Anyway, I have been dealing with Schizophrenia for 27 years now(it struck me when I was 18 years old when I was in the Army), and I have also been dealing with OCD for a little longer than that. I have also been struck with Depersonalization/Derealization Disorder as well, and that came about around 13 years ago or so, so I know Hell really well and then some.
I however, no longer take any medication or see therapists or doctors or the like, because I have taken almost every drug, if not every drug, available on the market today for my mental illnesses, and that goes for anti-psychotics, anti-depressants, and anti-anxiety medication. I stopped taking medication because none of it really helped much, and the negative effects(horrendous side effects), FAR OUTWEIGHED the positive effects(making me better), and some of the "medicines" actually made my conditions worse, so I said fuck that. I stopped seeing therapists and doctors and the like, because none of them really helped much either, because a lot of times I already knew what they were telling me through my own research. Plus there was the fact that it seemed like a lot of them didn't actually really care, and like I was just paying them to pretend that they do... so I said fuck that as well.
So now I just try and deal with all of it on my own, and I am basically a recluse and I rarely go anywhere, but not necessarily because I do not want to. Still, I try and go do what I want to when I can.
I am really glad that you found you a seemingly good woman, because speaking from my own experience, finding a good woman that loves me and stands beside me despite all of the fucking HELL that I go through on a daily basis, was a Godsend. Most women out there wouldn't do that for guys like us, so if your girlfriend is one of those that will love you and be there for you like my wife is for me, then treasure her, because that's exactly what women like that are for men like us... an absolute treasure.
Thats why they recommend to not watch horror movies or anything highly disturbing because the illness manifests in ways related to the material that may have disturbed you. Kinda like when we have nightmares after doing/seeing several things during the day, schizophrenia is like that when you're awake and it doesn't always have to be disturbing images its like flashes or images or voices. The illness is an over-active brain too much going on. You function well in my opinion even though like you said you wont show your episodes and I understand that it'd be too much to handle having that much out there online for others to see/judge/laugh at. I don't trust most of the internet people they like to judge for some reason and be hateful. I admire your courage to even admit you have to live like this. Keep on fighting and try to have as much joy as you can.
You’re truly amazing. You should keep uploading, Id like to see more
I know the taste thing all to well. It could be my favorite food, and it tastes like soap or poison, but it gets worse when I hallucinate visually because I'll see worms or stuff moving in my food at the same time as the bad taste. Which can cause me not to eat for days, if unchecked. It sucks. I feel your pain, I hope you are doing good.
I understand what type of girlfriend you have and why you speak so highly of her.
My boyfriend has been a major part of my support system, and I couldn't imagine my life without him.
HOORAY FOR LOVE!
This is awesome man! You're doing a lot of good, keep it up
I'm honored you'd share your worst with us. I don't suffer from what you have, but I have a nice life long companion called black depression with a side order of rapid cycling bi-polar disorder. Good times! But seriously... I will lift you up in prayers. I don't believe that all people who suffer from schizophrenia are possessed. Most aren't. BTW I am a Christian and I'm on several medications myself. I can become delusional at worst - self harm, self loathing. My family think's i'm making it all up. Who could make this crap up? I mean really! Anyway, God put you on my heart to pray for you.
Life is all a reflection of the self. The Schisms in your perception create a panic, and a fear. You need not be afraid any longer.
I'm supportive of your courage and great ability to be well spoken.
appreciate your videos and the strength you have!!
It's so cute how you talk about ur gf :'-)
Since you mentioned that you have hallucinations of possession, etc... Do you feel that your lack of religious belief helps you cope in any way? Or, that it helps you parse out "reality" from hallucination? I ask, b/c I am an Atheist and I would have presumed that Schizophrenia and religious/supernatural beliefs might tend to compound/compliment one another. (I saw you mention you weren't really religious in another video I watched earlier. Just discovered your channel. It's entirely possible that was an older video and perhaps your beliefs have changed. If so, I'd be interested to hear about that as well.) Is that even an accurate assumption on my part?
I am glad that you have chosen to share. It is fascinating to gain some insight (since, anyone without the illness couldn't really understand) into your mindset.
Congrats on quitting smoking. More than I can say for myself :)
U really r possesed the demon lached on to u threw this pray pray
When you talk about, that feeling like being tortured by your own brain, that's exactly what I couldn't find a phrase for, that fucking feel when you you can't do anything First I got it when I was at work, it was the most unimaginable uncomfortable feeling in my whole life. I feel so sorry for everybody experiencing it.
And what happened? Stopped working? Or could you keep your calm? (as much as possible?) Do you use medications? Did they help?
I just wish you all the best. Schizophrenia is such a torturing condition. May you obtain relieve at some point.
'Its like getting tortured by your own brain' a truer thing hasnt been said, thats exactly how i feel
Thank you for your frankness, your a brave guy and i applaud you
YOU ARE BRAVE.. YOULL BE OUT OF IT FOR SURE ONE DAY... GOD BLESS YOU..❤❤
Bro I love the upload, thanks for sharing.
It sounds exhausting 😔
I appreciated this video because my partner has this illness and it is like a window for helping me understand
some things from shizofrenia stays in brain for a whole life,im sure your mind was creating scary dark things that you cannot explain and you still dont know who you were in that game...ive been through that bro...keep the faith
i understand that part "like im having a seizures" i have epilepsy i can fight it with meds and i feel headache, hear godlike figure asking questions before and during seizures. it helps me kinda accept death. eventhough i don't die ( i am an atheist, but the godlke figure feels real when i get the headache)
keep making these video's. great therapy for u man. u get my supporr
It's nice to hear your story... And noticing that I'm not alone🌒
You are so honest and brave.
Bravo you. Respect ✊
you explain these things so well! learned a lot, thanks
Good video... You are so brave to post video's on here..
I have had Schizophrenia since my early 20's.
I wish I had not been born...
Kind regards and all the best from Dennis .
How do you differenciate between real tones and a halluzination? I have schizoaffective disorder and I've never hallucinated...
for me hallucinations are usually just a little bit off, as far as visual goes anyway. link the shadows are wrong or they move awkward. but with tactile they feel completely accurate and I have to figure it out based of possibility, like if I'm the only one in the room, than no one can be tapping me on the shoulder. sometimes my visual hallucinations are more convincing though and I need to ask people or use context clue like I do for tactile.
Wow...
YukikoAimiyo
do you get afraid or have you grown used to your hallucinations
Shitty Solver
for the most part I've grown used to them. but some are stronger than others. strong ones still scare me. like when I felt someone grab a hold of the back of my neck hard. or when I thought there was someone else in a restroom with me.
I always ask myself how realistic visual hallucinations can get, like do they cast correct shadows on real objects, do they have reflections in mirrors or when there are foreground objects like a chair, are they correctly projected behind those objects?
I feel u man, I suffer too. Thanks for putting this up.
As a child, I'd randomly hear my name get called in the distance. Like someone wants my attention. I'd always look for it but never find any clues to where it came from. Like I could just be walking around at my elementary school, play and have fun then suddenly someone will say my name out loud. Is this a common auditory hallucination and nothing to be worried about? I haven't heard anything else but MY NAME.
I used to get this when I was a kid usually before I'd go to sleep, it's probably just a hyperactive imagination which dies down as you get older.
Thank you for sharing- Keep strong!!!
The message in the beginning about your girlfriend is so sweet and cute awww love your videos ❤️
Can you make a video about your visual hallucinations?? :)
Hi , thank you for sharing your journey with schizophrenia I have found them ever so en-lighting that it has convinced me to write my first RUclips comment! I am starting to believe that I may share the same illness through symptoms you have described, which is quite scary because I don't know what to do about it.
I originally thought that it could be depression, anxiety and paranoia as I was put on Sertraline 50 mg just before Christmas , which was then up'd to 100mg , so I then accepted that maybe I have depression, but now since watching your videos it makes me question do I have schizophrenia? as its all well and good your doctor just prescribing you meds but how do you know sure what you have without a diagnostic, however I am awaiting counseling. I ended up having to go on medication due to close family and friends making remarks such as "she needs help", as my behavior was extremely erratic and fueled with alcohol and drugs, so I now also have a key-worker for that.
The major symptoms that stick out for me that I have is when I was 19 I overdosed on alcohol and whole box of paracetamol because I was so upset due to fighting with my bf at the time, which it then led me to going out and purchasing the box of paracetamol, then coming back and swallowing them whilst sat on the toilet crying to myself. A massive factor of me doing that was voices in my head telling me to do it and I honestly couldn't handle my brain that I just needed to switch off as I found it too much. I feel that it has also made me anti social at times due to the confusion running through my head. I think I create situations where I think people have got it in for me and I constantly override the same thought. I tend to behave erratically as a way of releasing whats going on in my head. I watched another video on schizophrenia and the girl mentions if you create faces out of things for example trees or the carpet and I tend do that a lot of the time , but I didn't realize that it was a symptom I thought it was normal I also thought hearing voices was normal when a person is telling you to do something. I don't know what to think anymore , but if you could give me some sort of answer to what you think is going on with me that would be amazing, as do really need some advice. I'm really sorry for the long message I just got the vibe that you'd be understanding and willing to share your thoughts and opinions on this subject.
Thank you!
you seem very calm. i used to know someone with schizophrenia and they would always attack people or scream randomly.
he isn't a violent schizophrenic... thats a stereotype
Awkward Italian Girl he JUST said he knew someone not that he assumed schizophrenics where like that
The mass majority of people with schizophrenia/any form of psychosis aren't really loud or violent- not to say there aren't people like that, because of course there are- but the biggest amount actually aren't.
if the diseases goes untreated then episodes maybe be violent because the person does think they have a problem and think its everyone else so they do things to other people
This tactile hallucinations happened in my dream and it bring me to sleep paralysis. Whenever i just wanted to get rid of that hand in my dream suddenly i wake up and i didnt feel my whole body . Even it take time to remember who i am , where i am . This is really pathetic to describe the whole feelings .
I hope you feel better soon!
I'm so scared I'll hallucinate. I have ridiculous anxiety/OCD and as a result I keep thinking I have/will contract schizophrenia. I know it doesn't work like that, but honestly I keep feeling like I'm hallucinating, seeing things and stuff, but nowhere near to someone whom actually deals with schizophrenia, hope J havent offended anyone. Thanks for sharing this anyway. really insightful.
TheAquaticBeef I've had the same fear for 11 years. a couple of those years it was so bad that I had panic attacks. it started with a bad mushroom trip and fearing that I had lost my mind/become schizophrenic and that I would permanently be that way. what started the fear for you?
Haliotro wow, it's so refreshing to hear somebody is going through the same thing! this is fairly new for me. I think it's a mixture of me thinking I'm seeing things that aren't really there and a fear that I'm going completely out of my mind, maybe due to stress. Actually, you know when you can see colours and stuff? Neon blues, greens, probably purples. Like after you close your eyes when looking at a light? Yeah, I could see those (without a migraine or prominent light source or anything) when I was going through something akin to a nervous breakdown. Also, a few days ago (I was more than likely in REM sleep though), I had my eyes slightly open and I thought I could see tiny fractals and magnetic waves and stuff, hard to explain. But I was half asleep, half awake, so I think that's why I "saw" it, or maybe it's because I wear glasses? Anyway, I guess you could call me a hyperchondriac, because I'm constantly thinking my life is going to change drastically for the worse due to poor health or sudden death. I take one tiny little thing, and then I run with it. I've usually just obsessed over my physical health, but now things have taken a turn for the worse as I'm obsessing over my mental health, which is terrifying. Obsessing about having a mental disorder, almost makes you feel like you have it. I really don't want to get diagnosed with anything more either, so I keep checking to see if I hallucinate or hear voices and have not heard or seen anything so far (which probably sounds a bit nuts, but hey).
My Son refuses to take medication, he is always super far out, sometimes He seems like he can understand and communicate. He says' he has about 5 super bad meltdowns a year where he just looses it completely and it takes serval cops to take him down. I'm afraid he will be killed or hurt someone.
The only thing I can do is pray for him everyday and that is more powerful then people know.🙏🆙
I doubt this will be seen since it is almost 2 years after this was posted, but I'm currently getting tested for schizophrenia after little over 2 years of progressively worsening symptoms. I have voices in my head that sow discord, for lack of a better description. They're almost always negative and aggressive, and if I'm having a really bad episode they become very suggestive. Ironically, they are constantly telling me I'm wasting time and there is nothing wrong. I was wondering if there is anything that can get them to stop. The other hallucinations are unpleasant, but I can never feel alone in my own head. If you see this, and know anything that can make them shut up, I'd appreciate it
Hey... im started hearing voices, my work mates telling me bad things all the time during my work. 8 hours long. I realized, this voices only in my head exist. (im not english, sorry about my english). I think we both schizo. What happened to you? Do you use already medications, or you are still without it? And how it is?
Perhaps one of your symptoms is a very mild seizure, because obviously as you said, shaking is something you get. Shaking in common in seizures, but you also mentioned being disoriented and not knowing who you are or where you are, which is usually something that seizure patients experience after convulsions.
do people that have the illness ever get pleasant hallucinations? is it even remotely possible for that to happen?
Ivvie Bengtsson that is a good fucking question.
Ivvie Bengtsson yes they can! They are caused by the mood or what they take in around them
Absolutely. But I will say that having hallucinations, even "pleasant" ones, is still not a pleasant experience. (Maybe unless we're talking about purposely placed pleasant hallucinations from psychedelic drugs or something of some sort. Even then, a pleasant hallucination can feel very unpleasant.)
I had a classmate once who saw dogs everywhere. We didn't even know she was schizophrenic until something happened (I can't remember what) and she got medicine but she said she really liked the dogs and they'd come up to her sometimes but she knew others couldn't see them so she kinda just tried to ignore them.
Actually , the hallucinations are mostly bad, because they are triggered from negative, stressful events. From things that they are not comfortable with.
That kinda sounds like the worst shroom trip i've ever had
Thank you for your wonderful videos. I always learn new things.
This is all so interesting. I mean how the brain is able of doing these things to you. That everything suddenly starts to fight you, that the brain motivates itself and starts telling you bad things. Why bad? How does the brain know what to tell you? The operations are so complex wow. Good luck mate
High levels of acetylcholine would cause an excess retrieval of our memories and our thoughts are formed from this, low serotonin causes our worries to go unchecked, high dopamine would cause us to be unable to divert our focus and compulsions away from these thoughts, low oxytocin would cause us to be unable to determine friend from foe. Let me know if that all sounds familiar.
I don't know why but I feel like you will get better trust me ... the future is positive
Michellei Rodriguez actually its really nice to see how much his life has gotten better/how much more stable he has gotten. in his older videos he really seems to be in a much worse state
i have a feeling like him n his girl will be together forever... and i feel happy for him also i hope he's taking pills for memory because he takes seraquel.... and it fucks up your memory i feel like they both are going to have a happy life...
I'm curious, have you ever tried meditating, or have you looked into it at all? I don't have schizophrenia, but I do know that after a good meditation session, I can focus so much easier the rest of the day.
I used to meditate for an hour for like a week, but I had a really hard time because with the medication I'm on, my whole body shakes, so when I closed my eyes they would shake and it was really annoying so I stopped doing it.
I had an isolated possession as well that lasted 6 hours to me at night. One of the worst things that happened to me as a Schizophrenic.
I have had a lot of these symptoms. But I don't think I have schizophrenia. The thing that happens to me a lot is that I will hear music for days sometimes. And it gets really loud and its like its on a loop that keeps playing over and over. I dunno. It's really weird. It gets really annoying more than anything.