Don't be sad that you've only really started out in the podcast game. Your cumulative knowledge and wisdom is beneficial to how you make each episode. The 2000+ books you have read and absorbed are just pieces of paper bound together without you actually taking the time to think about what is printed in them. That's what makes this podcast good. You're self-reflective about everything!
My friend was asking me for dating advice and she said she doesn’t know how to be guarded, but also put herself out there to date. And in the wise words of Brittany Simon I said “Be open, but set boundaries.”
The manipulation thing you were talking about here at about 57:20 definitely made sense to me. Manipulation is a good word to describe what's happening there but most people immediately think of manipulation as being only used for harm,, I think if you manipulate someone because you love them and if they kind of know why you're doing what you're doing it's good. Like you said people can't always receive information in a blunt way, your mum used different "manipulation" tactics on you to get you to hear what she's saying. I've thought about this before and I really enjoy these ideas.
I absolutely love how passionate you talk about being a mother one day. I know this video was primarily about dating, but I definitely felt that undertone shinning through. Family seems extremely intertwined in your process for looking at potential candidates for relationships, and I love that! Not only in terms of the family you were born into, but the family you want to create. I feel like this topic isn't talked about enough in detail when you start casually dating. Yes we tend to ask the question if you have kids or do you want them. But we tend to over look things that may also differ when it comes to children. Things like parenting style, discipline beliefs, the quality of life you want to be able to provide etc. Knowing what kind of parent you want to be before even convincing is not thought about enough. So to hear another woman openly talk about what kind of mother she intends on being makes my heart happy. Lastly I know you rattled off a few scenarios like if your child was to come out as transgender. May I also add another situation that may arise? Having a child with a disability. Because these things do happen. And can put an extreme stress on a relationship or family unit. Knowing your partners stances or ideas on components of the possibility I feel will help ease the stress of the situation should it arise. Like who would become the primary caregiver? Who would be okay still going to work? How would our dynamic have to change? The main reason I bring this up is because I have a child with a disability. And these are the conversations I wish I would have had before convincing. I absolutely adore my child, but the transition for me and his father could have went smoother.
I feel that man deeply lol (the one who didn't do anything in his 20`s because of depression.) sameee even if it's nothing I'm proud of, just things don't always go the way we want to, when you're so young and don't know how to move on from your own brain!
so this part was off-putting to me. very judgmental. like okay...he didn't travel and go to college in his 20s but focused on their mental stability...that makes them a waste? should he have been a deadbeat dad in and out of prison? yes they were incompatible but reality is everyone doesn't live a whirlwind life on the same schedule as everyone else
@@FKA_TUCSON yea I know what you mean. I would also feel judged if my past would be a dealbreaker for a guy, as it was really hard times for me. I don't think that anyone wants to do NOTHING in their lives, it's not necassarly someones goal obviously. It's a big struggle and fight between your damaged brain and yourself. I think though that she made a disclaimer that they were just on different pages. Still I'll have to agree on that, it seems like she has too many things she wants from her partner and dealbreakers that doesn't really mean or change anything. It's okay to have a type and you should never settle down your desires for anybody when it has a meaning but in Brittany's case it's a lot of unrealistic details which is weird because she seems a smart, rational person but I don't really see a big logic in not to want to date someone who wants starbucks coffee every morning, or something like that (she mentioned it in a video) that person could have 100 other benefits. (not that this one is a minus anyway but..) You can never find someone who you've build in your head over the years just for the sake of comfort. So even if I love her podcasts a lot, I don't agree on everything she talks about.
I’m not catholic anymore, but I sometimes go to mass with my family. The priest always found a way to bring up “the death of the family”. After spending so much time as an observer of life, I think he’s got a point. So many issues in America can be partially attributed to people lacking a supportive, functional family. I’ve been in a happy and healthy relationship for 8 years. I fully believe I’ve had success in love because I had healthy examples, I learned from my mistakes, and I know what I want out of a relationship. As we grew together and he was considering marriage, I was fully transparent with what I need from him and he acted accordingly. I made it clear that, no matter how long we’ve been together, I’m not settling, because divorce isn’t an option, unless it has to be. I’m not sure if I have this mentality because I used to be religious or if it’s because my family are so loving and supportive. It’s always interesting to see how other people view family and relationships, and I’ve noticed a correlation between unhappy relationships and divorced parents.
I relate a lot to your idea of goal-setting and how future-oriented you are. AND ESPECIALLY relate to your dating style; I'm the type of person who's always doing separate gigs, working late at the office, art commissions, reselling -- so it's so hard to fit a date in. And it feels like every person I've met online wants to meet up first and then get to know each other, but for me, I value my hobbies and work so much, I don't feel the DRIVE to meet someone unless I've talked to them enough to suss out whether I could grow with that person or not. Like, I've been on so many dates with people where it felt like an hour of pulling teeth, and I'd rather not waste a second of my time devoting to situations that make me feel bored or dreary, or unsure, or just like I could have been more productively using my energy elsewhere. And I especially don't like dating people who can't understand that more than a majority of my time and energy will go to my work; No, I will not rework that around you. You have to be comfortable enough with yourself to be okay with cancelled dates when I book a shoot, or me showing up late, or going a couple weeks without being able to see each other in person.
I've never been on a dating app before, but I kind of get the same vibes about them as you did. It's fast paced and encourages talking to many people at once, which, man, I don't have the energy for that! I also think I recently had a bit of an ego death when it comes to dating. The weight of the fact that, I need to be able to be happy and single really has hit me. I am still young, and I still believe finding a partner could happen, but no one is ever guaranteed to find a life partner. It has made me sad, like I'm mourning a future of having a potential long term partner, even though that might not be the case. It has been humbling to think about, because I myself am very romantic and have always loved the idea of finding a forever someone. When everyone around me is obsessed with finding a partner, it is always comforting to look to you, Brittany, as an example of someone who can be happy without a partner. Life is hard, but life is not bad 💚
I wish you well on your journey! It isn't easy, but I do slowly feel myself becoming more at peace. Day by day, and one step at a time. Even in my sadness that I spoke about above, I understand how good it is for me experience it. I can feel that 5 is coming :)
Something you said that really struck me as something that is a quality I now know I NEED in a partner, but I've never been able to so beautifully articulate is when you mentioned needing someone who knew themselves. Though for me I'd take that slightly more specifically and say I need someone who knows their "emotional" self really well. What makes you feel safe, what makes you feel scared, what you feel listened too, cared for, etc... The experience I've had with the people I've dated has been the equivalent of stumbling around in the dark in a messy room and I'm just tripping over every trigger and standing in open wounds. And the person wouldn't even know they'd "left it lying around" until we were squarely in the middle of fight, basically. And in evaluating my own dating life and in my own pursuit of knowing myself, that was truly a gem of truth that I will keep for future reference.
I have to say its really interesting listningen to you and how self reflective you are about your own emotions and your own actions. I am a mentally ill person too and someone whos also very perticullar when it comes to dating. So listning to you really helps me work through and really think of the choices I've made and want to make in the future when it comes to dating, life and so on.
I also found the times I actually tried using dating apps was 9 times out of 10 times where I was in a very bad place mentally. Since I have some requirements for myself that I have fullfill before I even can think about getting into a relationship. Which at some times I have gone away from though again its often when I've not been been in a good mental state.
The physical description of the feeling of masculine and feminine energy is everything! On point 👌 You remind me of my Taurus sister, no lightning bolt crushes needs her time, not really jealous. I think it's cause y'all are so confident in how great you are 'be jealous of.. what?' Girlllll yes to not being tormented about being single i see others around me who are like suffering alone and its a sorry state to behold.. when we meet someone it'll be that elevation like u describe 😊
Love this! I’m in a age gap marriage 32 years different. We were together for 7years so I could be “young” because we both we are divorce isn’t an option (it is but in the way you talked about) Married happily for 5. It works because despite being at different stages in life we have the same goals and work as a team in all things. I appreciate seeing people have honest discussion on relationships
Maybe I just got really really lucky with online dating or maybe my area of the world (Canada) just has more people that match what you’re looking for but I found my bf on okcupid and you and I seem to have pretty similar taste in guys. I wanted a guy who wants kids, has himself all figured out, has the same sense of humour as me, is good with money, is creative etc. On top of all that he’s hella into BDSM. I also have masculine energy for a girl but I wanted to feel safe and have someone compliment both my feminine and masculine energies. I 100% found all that shit on okcupid. Like you, I also had mental health struggles but I spent my late 20’s fixing that shit because no mentally healthy man was ever gonna put up with my craziness and I was not happy living on the marry go round of repeating the mistakes modelled to me as a kid. I do believe that I no longer suffer from any diagnosable mental disorders and I do believe that people can heal from certain ones completely (I actually think borderline is curable according to the DSM) Based on what you said it does seem to me like maybe your area of the world just has less dudes that would match your personality and needs. I worry that maybe waiting so long to meet people in person is a detriment to your search for several reasons. I always would have online dates first but even video calling someone is only like 1/100th of what you get from meeting in person. When you’re video chatting you’re looking at a screen and not making eye contact. You see yourself on the screen as well which is distracting. You’re not gonna feel their energy or smelling them or seeing how you both move together to feel if you have actual physical chemistry. I understand that your situation is different due to being a public figure but waiting like 6 months to meet someone seems pretty bonkers to me even considering that. I wouldn’t want to emotionally invested in someone without actually experiencing their vibe in person. Also, I’d imagine finding a guy who’s down to just chat for that long online would also limit your options quite a bit. My bf seemed a lot more like a “cool guy” over video call but when I met him in person he was like that perfect combo of cute/dorky which I’m way more attracted to. And I never would have seen that shit if I wasn’t physically there with him to see him accidentally walk down a wrong street or wink at me like a total dork or cuddle in a park with him and experience the sort of vulnerability and openness he’s capable of. Like, cuddling showed me that he actually does have that sort of feminine “hold me and stroke my hair” energy as well as the masculine “I’m gonna take care of you” energy. Anyway I am really rooting for you Brittany!! I really really hope you find your perfect human because you’re way too dope not to propagate your genetic material
I thoroughly enjoyed this conversation. I like that your conversations stir my internal reflection the way that people around me cannot. I do not always relate to all your content, which is fine, but this conversation really resonated with me today and I am happy you showed me the positive aspects of the way I think and approach dating and relationships bc everyone around me makes feel like there is something wrong with my approach and that it will never work. I will be returning to my old habits bc although they left me single for quite a while, they also protected me from the toxic relationships that I entered as a result of exploring dating in the way that my friends and family approached it.
I don’t have an online dating story but I do have an online ten year friendship story! When I was around 11 I met my best friend of ten years on Omegle (we were very lucky neither of us were creeps) We met irl 4 years into the friendship and continued to visit each other since then.
This video is very much resonating with me. Dating is not on my radar is any way right now, but so much of what you said rings true still for me. I may not know my husband yet, but I am a Mom and my entire being is centered on continually evolving into the best self I can for myself, my child and loved ones, as well as my eventual partner. Hearing you speak on this entire topic is really affirming in multiple ways, and I’m appreciative of that - as always! Also, when you touched on the addiction to swiping, I was reminded of the book The Paradox of Choice. We can get caught in this loop of always looking for the next best thing when we feel like we have infinite choices. The author suggests humans do best with three good options to choose from - any more than that can be paralyzing. Dating apps could definitely leave someone with way too many options that are all ultimately lacking.
I definitely understand where you're coming from with the idea of using manipulation for good. My partner struggles with mental illness and sometimes I know that I can manipulate him to do something better for himself. I can often use the thought patterns he experiences to help him realize how to combat a different hurdle for him. Then he looks at me in frustration like, "really? I've been doing it the hard way all along?" He understands when I use his brain "against" his brain in order to create healthier habits.
I aligned so much with EVERYTHING that you said in this video and it made me SO happy to know that I'm not alone in my thought process and what I want out of life and out of my partner.
This is what I needed after deleting the apps. The amount of conversation over text, and with strangers, overwhelms me. I can only maintain dating profiles for a few months. I found a lot of interest and a lack of commitment. I don't have the time for that. I need something more than just a "casual relationship..." but that seems to be the trend.
Would you do online date (conversation) with Aba in case there is a chance? I’m sure you saw he does this kind of content for guys to learn better communication. I would love to see you guys interact!!
Aba and I aren't compatible romantically. He's also a 2. I also wouldn't do that kind of collab with him because I don't enjoy that kind of collab as a viewer (it's not bad, just not my thing). I think him and I could collab for a long form convo that is fun and interesting but I'm not sure what it'd be about 🥰
@@BrittanySimon Thanks for a reply! yes I already knew you do not see him as someone romantically compatible, but nevertheless I would love to watch you guys exchange ideas and life perspectives, whatever the topic is 💗
While my fiance and I never officially broke up, he's been halfway across the country for over 2 years and had a whole other relationship out there. So I've been pretty much single for a while. And I totally agree with you that someone would have to significantly add to my life for me to bother because I enjoy my freedom, privacy, and solitude too much to give that up just for company.
I don't have the emotional spoon power to date more than 1 person at once either - so glad I'm not the only one. I only started dating for the first time ever a few months ago, and I'm finding it soul destroying. 🥺 Think I need to get my life more in order first.... Thank you for doing this podcast - it came at the right time for me and was good soul nourishment.
Hi! Love your channel : ) your videos often leave me in a thoughtful headspace and its a every enjoyable experience to challenge my ideals on a regular basis. I was wondering if there are any books that you recommend regarding motherhood preparation. I think that being surrounded by women who, when growing up, constantly recounted to me the woes and tribulations of being a mother, has put me off from the idea. Mostly out of fear of losing the person when becoming the mother, and more importantly, it is frightening to come to terms with the fact that a child is, as they say, your heart existing outside of your body. Either way, thank you for the quality content. It's much appreciated
You are really helping me through some shit. I listen to you when I am ready to learn something new about myself but I'm not gonna lie it's rough after listening because I have to form synapses in my brain that are really far away from each other lmfaoooooo if ya no what I mean. 😊
Hi! Thank you so much ♡ It's my friend. They aren't ready to go public with their music yet. I am so happy that they let me use their song and once they're public ill be sure to let everyone know.
The low selfie angle thing came up in a psychology class I took. Something like men take selfies from low angles to seem taller and accentuate their jaws whereas women take them from higher up to seem shorter and make their features look more feminine. Also, the aces of the world are confused by this concept of sexual attraction dictating who you date 😂❤️
Don't worry, Evie Lupine and I just recorded a whole video on ace dating and flirting tips and styles and had a free flowing convo that I think will help add to the convo ♡
How odd, I was recently watching Sorelle Amore's recent video "Loss of identify - the art of moving on" in which she figured out a new fundament and direction for her life. I was wondering how you would react to her perspective on life. She also talked about her relationship with female and male energy as well - it surprised me that you mentioned it in this podcast. So if you have some spare time, I recommend her video 🌟
I quite enjoy the podcast allowing you to speak freely about various topics that cross your mind. Itd make me super curious how you may tackle a more formal literature style. Maybe exploring the intersection of the levels and relationships and how those may function.
I never understood why tinder was seen as a hook up only app but honestly it may be my age, because at 20 I feel like many people are on there for different reasons but I would see how most true mature adults don’t go to it for love 😂 but I did find a boyfriend on there at 18, that being said 22 now and wouldn’t use it for love at this point
I know you said no to more online dating, but there are those farm lifestyle dating sites like Farmers Only, I have no knowledge about these sites besides they exist. Great podcast! Thank you for sharing.
I'm open to some niche options for sure! But the mainstream ones, I don't think so♡ The issue is I don't share my location so using apps can be dangerous for me because it tells people where i am, if they recognize me.
When I start talking to a person who I may be interested in in an online dating site, I basically instantly delete the app because I feel disingenuous if I'm still "swiping." I usually don't swipe on many people to begin with though. Not even picky, I just don't like dry profiles with no info.
Brittany I love the outfits you've been wearing recently, the combination with your hairstyle looks really good. I basically like to dress like a prostitute pirate fairy lmao, so I love seeing chokers and stuff like that (In a previous podcast you were also wearing a beautiful pirate/renaissance-ish blouse 😍). Not trying to call you a prostitute pirate fairy though (but you can join the club if you want to😂), I'm sure you'll understand the compliment, you just look really pretttyyy .
Watching this even though I have no interest in dating lol it’s been 5 yrs since my last relationship that ended horribly. I don’t even know what kind a person I would want to date. So I’m chillin by myself
I have legit never looked for potential dates or partners online. All my relationships have stemmed from in person interactions. I have checked people out online though. I find I'm more careful now about what i disclose initially, but I did mention to my current partner that "I have kids, don't want more and I'm currently pursuing sterilisation surgery. I have mental health issues that I am working on, if you're not willing to accept that and learn and grow with me - i am a person who always seeks new experiences and self development- then this won't work. What are your thoughts on that?" 4 years and counting we're still together and its nor perfect but we are happy. I think if i was looking for a partner in future I would be more likely to grill a person because I've developed higher levels of "be accountable". It is challenging to be with me, but i know I'm worth it. Once i never would have considered my worth. I am very decisive, so i hear you on the passive thing! Haha
I never had any dates come out of online apps like okcupid and stuff (and I did that on and off for a good two ish years). Made tons of friends, though - some far longer lasting than I thought would be (like still to this day). I did meet my gf online though - we played the same video game back when I was in college lol
You look beautiful in the thumbnail 😊 loved hearing the podcast. I'm rooting for you to find someone. ^^ Also I'm curious would you continue RUclips if you have children? (not in a family vlog kind of way but just like now with podcasts etc) :) I hope you because I think I would miss hearing these talks nad ideas from you ^^ but do whatever makes you happy.
Great food for thought .. I kinda gave up on dating .. Is it just me; you look like this actress on Orange Is The New Black .. I had to say it ..🤷🏾 I'm new here so no offense meant both women are beautiful ☺ Update : Tracee Chimo Pallero is the actress name 😉
For sure, honestly, they were the same to me. I didn't see a difference dating men or women online, personally. Though they happened at different times in my life. I've only dated women online in my twenties and while I was poly. So, not sure how that would change dating now.
Honestly kinda burned out from trying to date online or establish connections thru apps. As a gay cis man, who also leans toward introverted, apps make up a majority of my resources compared to getting out into the “real world” and in my experience so far I find it so hard to just wrangle someone down to actually meet in person. Not sure if others relate to this.
Sliding in these comments but I wouldn't want to date you, I would want to be your friend. I love introspective and insightful people. They are rare in this world. and yeah celebs and micro-niche celebs deserve treatment like the human beings they are when it comes to their dating lives. I can't fathom treating someone different because of that reason but it definitely happens so totally valid that they are protective.
lol the only reason I downloaded tinder was because I was new to my college and my friends and I decided to make friends on it... and then I kept it because my adhd brain likes the swiping motion haha! The app is gone now bc def not the best for me or my mental health. I had pretty much the same experience as you but with the added level of college male behavior because that is my current pool sadly
Lol, did you have a date with me? I also have a 10 year hole thanks to depression, but i'm not dating anyone, i'm just recovering what i lost those past 10 years. My culprit was a rogue thyroid, which means i also have to loose a lot of weight thanks to those 10 years in deadend jobs and most time in bed. Depression is a weird beast, no matter how rational you are, i just couldn't reason my way out of it.
It’s okay to find love wherever you are called to find it. I would love to know your take on (and maybe you’ve spoken about this before but…) soulmates. Specifically is it possible to have more than one…?
I believe in platonic and romantic soulmates. I believe a soulmate is a person with whom you share an undeniable connection and it's felt by both parties. I think it's also pretty subjective ♡
You are going to make a dope👏🏼 ass 👏🏼wife 👏🏼and mother someday. And, yes, the red looks So Good. And the content is Fire! 🔥 I’m not saying I’m a 5, I have no idea what level I am, but I sure wish I knew at 32 what I know now. My life would look completely different. (sigh) C’est la vie! Upward and Onward. Thanks for another great talk. I appreciate you! 🌺
Nope. The only real plant in my room is the one on my desk and a cactus that lives on my window. My cat eats all my plants and attempts to eat the fake ones. I do keep living plants downstairs and outside in the garden ♡
@@BrittanySimon my cat also chews on my plants. Especially my dracaena magenta. Ive recently become obsessed with vining plants like ivys, pothos, and ferns. I love plants so much, they remind me of the life cycle and how they are here to clean my air. Idk something about nurturing something that also is nurturing me is very healing and nice.
@@amandasiple9936 Totally! I learned if you sprinkle a little chili powder or something cats don't like around or on your plant it can help them not eat them.
Oh man am I ever with you on not being compatible with passive personalities! I feel like this is even more of an issue with dating other women (which I do being a lesbian) is that so many people are waiting for someone to take all the moves. That's exhausting. lol I tend to be the more assertive personality but I also don't want to have to get everything started and maintain it myself. i.e What passives do to assertives. I need someone who can be just as assertive as me but also has a slice of passive energy so they don't exhaust me either by always being on the move and have no quiet moments. I do wonder if that comes from living in a heteronormative society where we expect a relationship to be man (active) and woman (passive) even if it's a queer relationship. But as you address that's not always a gendered thing as there are passive men and assertive women. I don't know. I'll just stop and say I am with you again. Give me that assertive energy please~!
You said one of your priorities is to be the women your supposed to be What if my gender is a bottom boy? I’m in my twenties right now so it works but don’t know how long that’ll last
There is definitely a space in the world for successful bottom boys. Being a bottom boy isn't the issue, pretending you aren't one is. I think there are specific kinds of complimentary and healthy ways to go down that path♡ Like all of us though, you gotta figure out your values and make sure you know your core to know your long term path if that's your core identity.
I've watched 3 or four of your videos and I'm finding this one to be very confusing. It sounds like you want men who are traditional (hard working, good job, protector, dominant, masculine, tradditionally attractive, good finances, gets along with your conservative family, country) and non traditional ("queer energy", similar sexual experiences, openminded). I know from your other videos that you no longer identify as a feminist but it sounds like you fell hard into the feminist mindset of 18-30 is a party, live a non traditional life style, have fun do what ever you want and when it's time to settle down wait for that traditional man to come and let you into his already built life. The reality is traditional men want traditional women. Women get maternity guaranteed by biology, reproductive rights enshrined in law and furthered by social institutions like marriage and biased family law courts. Men get the honor system and as such have to vet women pretty hard on the likelihood that they will get bored and leave or have someone else's baby. Starting off dating by being evasive, saying you live in one area but actually living in another and tap dancing around your past is going to turn off alot of men.
Only 30 mins in but I hope you end up with YT comment guy because people are manipulative fucks. You just told them how to ask you out to get your attention. 🥺
I totally understand ♡ Not everyone shares my background or culture and for some that word doesn't fit into their life. I think that's okay and I hope you know you're allowed to have boundaries around language and I respect those boundaries♡
“A lady's imagination is very rapid; it jumps from admiration to love, from love to matrimony in a moment.”
― Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice
@@ResistImpulse ìiìììììììììììììììììì
Don't be sad that you've only really started out in the podcast game. Your cumulative knowledge and wisdom is beneficial to how you make each episode. The 2000+ books you have read and absorbed are just pieces of paper bound together without you actually taking the time to think about what is printed in them. That's what makes this podcast good. You're self-reflective about everything!
Brittany, I could listen to you talk about love and romance and marriage all day ❤️🌹 And that red looks amazing! ✨
🥰🥰🥰thank you girl!
My friend was asking me for dating advice and she said she doesn’t know how to be guarded, but also put herself out there to date. And in the wise words of Brittany Simon I said “Be open, but set boundaries.”
Yes girl!!!
The manipulation thing you were talking about here at about 57:20 definitely made sense to me. Manipulation is a good word to describe what's happening there but most people immediately think of manipulation as being only used for harm,, I think if you manipulate someone because you love them and if they kind of know why you're doing what you're doing it's good. Like you said people can't always receive information in a blunt way, your mum used different "manipulation" tactics on you to get you to hear what she's saying. I've thought about this before and I really enjoy these ideas.
I absolutely love how passionate you talk about being a mother one day. I know this video was primarily about dating, but I definitely felt that undertone shinning through. Family seems extremely intertwined in your process for looking at potential candidates for relationships, and I love that! Not only in terms of the family you were born into, but the family you want to create. I feel like this topic isn't talked about enough in detail when you start casually dating. Yes we tend to ask the question if you have kids or do you want them. But we tend to over look things that may also differ when it comes to children. Things like parenting style, discipline beliefs, the quality of life you want to be able to provide etc. Knowing what kind of parent you want to be before even convincing is not thought about enough. So to hear another woman openly talk about what kind of mother she intends on being makes my heart happy. Lastly I know you rattled off a few scenarios like if your child was to come out as transgender. May I also add another situation that may arise? Having a child with a disability. Because these things do happen. And can put an extreme stress on a relationship or family unit. Knowing your partners stances or ideas on components of the possibility I feel will help ease the stress of the situation should it arise. Like who would become the primary caregiver? Who would be okay still going to work? How would our dynamic have to change? The main reason I bring this up is because I have a child with a disability. And these are the conversations I wish I would have had before convincing. I absolutely adore my child, but the transition for me and his father could have went smoother.
I feel that man deeply lol (the one who didn't do anything in his 20`s because of depression.) sameee even if it's nothing I'm proud of, just things don't always go the way we want to, when you're so young and don't know how to move on from your own brain!
honestly same here, i killed my early 20s going to therapy and trying to undestand what the fuck is going on u.u
@@blebleblu1143 Tea it sucks really. Guess it means that we’re gonna rock our 30’s and live in the moment by then:)
so this part was off-putting to me. very judgmental. like okay...he didn't travel and go to college in his 20s but focused on their mental stability...that makes them a waste? should he have been a deadbeat dad in and out of prison? yes they were incompatible but reality is everyone doesn't live a whirlwind life on the same schedule as everyone else
@@FKA_TUCSON yea I know what you mean. I would also feel judged if my past would be a dealbreaker for a guy, as it was really hard times for me. I don't think that anyone wants to do NOTHING in their lives, it's not necassarly someones goal obviously. It's a big struggle and fight between your damaged brain and yourself. I think though that she made a disclaimer that they were just on different pages. Still I'll have to agree on that, it seems like she has too many things she wants from her partner and dealbreakers that doesn't really mean or change anything. It's okay to have a type and you should never settle down your desires for anybody when it has a meaning but in Brittany's case it's a lot of unrealistic details which is weird because she seems a smart, rational person but I don't really see a big logic in not to want to date someone who wants starbucks coffee every morning, or something like that (she mentioned it in a video) that person could have 100 other benefits. (not that this one is a minus anyway but..) You can never find someone who you've build in your head over the years just for the sake of comfort. So even if I love her podcasts a lot, I don't agree on everything she talks about.
The internal/external imagery of the feminine/masculine energy is really useful. Great podcast!
I’m very impressed by the lighting on these videos. It looks so professional!
Omg thanks boo! Hope you're well ♡♡
I’m not catholic anymore, but I sometimes go to mass with my family. The priest always found a way to bring up “the death of the family”. After spending so much time as an observer of life, I think he’s got a point. So many issues in America can be partially attributed to people lacking a supportive, functional family.
I’ve been in a happy and healthy relationship for 8 years. I fully believe I’ve had success in love because I had healthy examples, I learned from my mistakes, and I know what I want out of a relationship. As we grew together and he was considering marriage, I was fully transparent with what I need from him and he acted accordingly. I made it clear that, no matter how long we’ve been together, I’m not settling, because divorce isn’t an option, unless it has to be.
I’m not sure if I have this mentality because I used to be religious or if it’s because my family are so loving and supportive. It’s always interesting to see how other people view family and relationships, and I’ve noticed a correlation between unhappy relationships and divorced parents.
I relate a lot to your idea of goal-setting and how future-oriented you are. AND ESPECIALLY relate to your dating style; I'm the type of person who's always doing separate gigs, working late at the office, art commissions, reselling -- so it's so hard to fit a date in. And it feels like every person I've met online wants to meet up first and then get to know each other, but for me, I value my hobbies and work so much, I don't feel the DRIVE to meet someone unless I've talked to them enough to suss out whether I could grow with that person or not. Like, I've been on so many dates with people where it felt like an hour of pulling teeth, and I'd rather not waste a second of my time devoting to situations that make me feel bored or dreary, or unsure, or just like I could have been more productively using my energy elsewhere. And I especially don't like dating people who can't understand that more than a majority of my time and energy will go to my work; No, I will not rework that around you. You have to be comfortable enough with yourself to be okay with cancelled dates when I book a shoot, or me showing up late, or going a couple weeks without being able to see each other in person.
Your thoughts on honorable and toxic relationships are very profound to me! Thank you for sharing this
I've never been on a dating app before, but I kind of get the same vibes about them as you did. It's fast paced and encourages talking to many people at once, which, man, I don't have the energy for that!
I also think I recently had a bit of an ego death when it comes to dating. The weight of the fact that, I need to be able to be happy and single really has hit me. I am still young, and I still believe finding a partner could happen, but no one is ever guaranteed to find a life partner. It has made me sad, like I'm mourning a future of having a potential long term partner, even though that might not be the case. It has been humbling to think about, because I myself am very romantic and have always loved the idea of finding a forever someone.
When everyone around me is obsessed with finding a partner, it is always comforting to look to you, Brittany, as an example of someone who can be happy without a partner.
Life is hard, but life is not bad 💚
I think you're a 4, I hope I get to that soon.
I wish you well on your journey! It isn't easy, but I do slowly feel myself becoming more at peace. Day by day, and one step at a time.
Even in my sadness that I spoke about above, I understand how good it is for me experience it. I can feel that 5 is coming :)
Something you said that really struck me as something that is a quality I now know I NEED in a partner, but I've never been able to so beautifully articulate is when you mentioned needing someone who knew themselves.
Though for me I'd take that slightly more specifically and say I need someone who knows their "emotional" self really well. What makes you feel safe, what makes you feel scared, what you feel listened too, cared for, etc...
The experience I've had with the people I've dated has been the equivalent of stumbling around in the dark in a messy room and I'm just tripping over every trigger and standing in open wounds. And the person wouldn't even know they'd "left it lying around" until we were squarely in the middle of fight, basically.
And in evaluating my own dating life and in my own pursuit of knowing myself, that was truly a gem of truth that I will keep for future reference.
I have to say its really interesting listningen to you and how self reflective you are about your own emotions and your own actions.
I am a mentally ill person too and someone whos also very perticullar when it comes to dating. So listning to you really helps me work through and really think of the choices I've made and want to make in the future when it comes to dating, life and so on.
I also found the times I actually tried using dating apps was 9 times out of 10 times where I was in a very bad place mentally.
Since I have some requirements for myself that I have fullfill before I even can think about getting into a relationship. Which at some times I have gone away from though again its often when I've not been been in a good mental state.
The physical description of the feeling of masculine and feminine energy is everything! On point 👌
You remind me of my Taurus sister, no lightning bolt crushes needs her time, not really jealous. I think it's cause y'all are so confident in how great you are 'be jealous of.. what?'
Girlllll yes to not being tormented about being single i see others around me who are like suffering alone and its a sorry state to behold.. when we meet someone it'll be that elevation like u describe 😊
Love it!
Tell your sister I said hii!
Love this! I’m in a age gap marriage 32 years different. We were together for 7years so I could be “young” because we both we are divorce isn’t an option (it is but in the way you talked about) Married happily for 5. It works because despite being at different stages in life we have the same goals and work as a team in all things. I appreciate seeing people have honest discussion on relationships
Maybe I just got really really lucky with online dating or maybe my area of the world (Canada) just has more people that match what you’re looking for but I found my bf on okcupid and you and I seem to have pretty similar taste in guys. I wanted a guy who wants kids, has himself all figured out, has the same sense of humour as me, is good with money, is creative etc. On top of all that he’s hella into BDSM. I also have masculine energy for a girl but I wanted to feel safe and have someone compliment both my feminine and masculine energies. I 100% found all that shit on okcupid.
Like you, I also had mental health struggles but I spent my late 20’s fixing that shit because no mentally healthy man was ever gonna put up with my craziness and I was not happy living on the marry go round of repeating the mistakes modelled to me as a kid. I do believe that I no longer suffer from any diagnosable mental disorders and I do believe that people can heal from certain ones completely (I actually think borderline is curable according to the DSM)
Based on what you said it does seem to me like maybe your area of the world just has less dudes that would match your personality and needs.
I worry that maybe waiting so long to meet people in person is a detriment to your search for several reasons. I always would have online dates first but even video calling someone is only like 1/100th of what you get from meeting in person. When you’re video chatting you’re looking at a screen and not making eye contact. You see yourself on the screen as well which is distracting. You’re not gonna feel their energy or smelling them or seeing how you both move together to feel if you have actual physical chemistry. I understand that your situation is different due to being a public figure but waiting like 6 months to meet someone seems pretty bonkers to me even considering that. I wouldn’t want to emotionally invested in someone without actually experiencing their vibe in person. Also, I’d imagine finding a guy who’s down to just chat for that long online would also limit your options quite a bit.
My bf seemed a lot more like a “cool guy” over video call but when I met him in person he was like that perfect combo of cute/dorky which I’m way more attracted to. And I never would have seen that shit if I wasn’t physically there with him to see him accidentally walk down a wrong street or wink at me like a total dork or cuddle in a park with him and experience the sort of vulnerability and openness he’s capable of. Like, cuddling showed me that he actually does have that sort of feminine “hold me and stroke my hair” energy as well as the masculine “I’m gonna take care of you” energy.
Anyway I am really rooting for you Brittany!! I really really hope you find your perfect human because you’re way too dope not to propagate your genetic material
I thoroughly enjoyed this conversation. I like that your conversations stir my internal reflection the way that people around me cannot. I do not always relate to all your content, which is fine, but this conversation really resonated with me today and I am happy you showed me the positive aspects of the way I think and approach dating and relationships bc everyone around me makes feel like there is something wrong with my approach and that it will never work. I will be returning to my old habits bc although they left me single for quite a while, they also protected me from the toxic relationships that I entered as a result of exploring dating in the way that my friends and family approached it.
I don’t have an online dating story but I do have an online ten year friendship story! When I was around 11 I met my best friend of ten years on Omegle (we were very lucky neither of us were creeps) We met irl 4 years into the friendship and continued to visit each other since then.
I met one of my good friends online when we were 14 and just met in January...been friends for 12 years so I know how you feel
This video is very much resonating with me. Dating is not on my radar is any way right now, but so much of what you said rings true still for me. I may not know my husband yet, but I am a Mom and my entire being is centered on continually evolving into the best self I can for myself, my child and loved ones, as well as my eventual partner. Hearing you speak on this entire topic is really affirming in multiple ways, and I’m appreciative of that - as always!
Also, when you touched on the addiction to swiping, I was reminded of the book The Paradox of Choice. We can get caught in this loop of always looking for the next best thing when we feel like we have infinite choices. The author suggests humans do best with three good options to choose from - any more than that can be paralyzing. Dating apps could definitely leave someone with way too many options that are all ultimately lacking.
I definitely understand where you're coming from with the idea of using manipulation for good. My partner struggles with mental illness and sometimes I know that I can manipulate him to do something better for himself. I can often use the thought patterns he experiences to help him realize how to combat a different hurdle for him. Then he looks at me in frustration like, "really? I've been doing it the hard way all along?"
He understands when I use his brain "against" his brain in order to create healthier habits.
I aligned so much with EVERYTHING that you said in this video and it made me SO happy to know that I'm not alone in my thought process and what I want out of life and out of my partner.
This is what I needed after deleting the apps. The amount of conversation over text, and with strangers, overwhelms me. I can only maintain dating profiles for a few months. I found a lot of interest and a lack of commitment. I don't have the time for that. I need something more than just a "casual relationship..." but that seems to be the trend.
This was great! And I'm so excited for next week!
Me too!!
Would you do online date (conversation) with Aba in case there is a chance? I’m sure you saw he does this kind of content for guys to learn better communication. I would love to see you guys interact!!
Aba and I aren't compatible romantically. He's also a 2. I also wouldn't do that kind of collab with him because I don't enjoy that kind of collab as a viewer (it's not bad, just not my thing). I think him and I could collab for a long form convo that is fun and interesting but I'm not sure what it'd be about 🥰
@@BrittanySimon Thanks for a reply! yes I already knew you do not see him as someone romantically compatible, but nevertheless I would love to watch you guys exchange ideas and life perspectives, whatever the topic is 💗
This was great, listening to your perspective is so refreshing and uplifting! Such a wonderful podcast, I’m excited for next week!
While my fiance and I never officially broke up, he's been halfway across the country for over 2 years and had a whole other relationship out there. So I've been pretty much single for a while. And I totally agree with you that someone would have to significantly add to my life for me to bother because I enjoy my freedom, privacy, and solitude too much to give that up just for company.
I don't have the emotional spoon power to date more than 1 person at once either - so glad I'm not the only one. I only started dating for the first time ever a few months ago, and I'm finding it soul destroying. 🥺 Think I need to get my life more in order first.... Thank you for doing this podcast - it came at the right time for me and was good soul nourishment.
Fun Podcast! It was nice hearing about your experience ♥️
Hi! Love your channel : ) your videos often leave me in a thoughtful headspace and its a every enjoyable experience to challenge my ideals on a regular basis.
I was wondering if there are any books that you recommend regarding motherhood preparation. I think that being surrounded by women who, when growing up, constantly recounted to me the woes and tribulations of being a mother, has put me off from the idea. Mostly out of fear of losing the person when becoming the mother, and more importantly, it is frightening to come to terms with the fact that a child is, as they say, your heart existing outside of your body.
Either way, thank you for the quality content. It's much appreciated
I'm so glad you left this comment. I'm going to work on a preparing for motherhood podcast in like 5 shows. I have a lineup but this is a great idea!!
You are really helping me through some shit. I listen to you when I am ready to learn something new about myself but I'm not gonna lie it's rough after listening because I have to form synapses in my brain that are really far away from each other lmfaoooooo if ya no what I mean. 😊
I’m new to this channel this month but I’m increasingly more obsessed with your outro song every time I hear it. Did you write it/is it you singing?
Hi! Thank you so much ♡ It's my friend. They aren't ready to go public with their music yet. I am so happy that they let me use their song and once they're public ill be sure to let everyone know.
The low selfie angle thing came up in a psychology class I took. Something like men take selfies from low angles to seem taller and accentuate their jaws whereas women take them from higher up to seem shorter and make their features look more feminine.
Also, the aces of the world are confused by this concept of sexual attraction dictating who you date 😂❤️
Don't worry, Evie Lupine and I just recorded a whole video on ace dating and flirting tips and styles and had a free flowing convo that I think will help add to the convo ♡
How odd, I was recently watching Sorelle Amore's recent video "Loss of identify - the art of moving on" in which she figured out a new fundament and direction for her life. I was wondering how you would react to her perspective on life. She also talked about her relationship with female and male energy as well - it surprised me that you mentioned it in this podcast. So if you have some spare time, I recommend her video 🌟
I haven't seen that video but I do watch her channel! Ill check it out for sure ❤
I quite enjoy the podcast allowing you to speak freely about various topics that cross your mind. Itd make me super curious how you may tackle a more formal literature style. Maybe exploring the intersection of the levels and relationships and how those may function.
Your hair is perfection. 🖤
My issue with myself and online dating: I always see the best in people and have a really high libido... Not a good combination 🤦🏻♀️😂😂😂
I never understood why tinder was seen as a hook up only app but honestly it may be my age, because at 20 I feel like many people are on there for different reasons but I would see how most true mature adults don’t go to it for love 😂 but I did find a boyfriend on there at 18, that being said 22 now and wouldn’t use it for love at this point
I could see you with an owner of one of those quirky rural joints which is clearly meant for 3s and 4s.
I know you said no to more online dating, but there are those farm lifestyle dating sites like Farmers Only, I have no knowledge about these sites besides they exist. Great podcast! Thank you for sharing.
I'm open to some niche options for sure! But the mainstream ones, I don't think so♡ The issue is I don't share my location so using apps can be dangerous for me because it tells people where i am, if they recognize me.
@@BrittanySimon I'd definitely consider that one niche.
You look so good in red you’re such a bright spring 💕
When I start talking to a person who I may be interested in in an online dating site, I basically instantly delete the app because I feel disingenuous if I'm still "swiping." I usually don't swipe on many people to begin with though. Not even picky, I just don't like dry profiles with no info.
Brittany I love the outfits you've been wearing recently, the combination with your hairstyle looks really good. I basically like to dress like a prostitute pirate fairy lmao, so I love seeing chokers and stuff like that (In a previous podcast you were also wearing a beautiful pirate/renaissance-ish blouse 😍). Not trying to call you a prostitute pirate fairy though (but you can join the club if you want to😂), I'm sure you'll understand the compliment, you just look really pretttyyy .
Pirate fairies are some of my favorite people 🏴☠️🧚♀️
I felt you on the city, country thing. I'm a suburbs kinda guy but don't mind visiting the city from time to time.
Love the burbs! Also a great way to live ♡
I'm not the type that can settle either, but I'm also the only single person of my close friends and family....
You also look really good in black as well! It's one of my favourite colours! I'm also single and not dating at the moment.
What song do you use for your outro ??? I LOVE
Watching this even though I have no interest in dating lol it’s been 5 yrs since my last relationship that ended horribly. I don’t even know what kind a person I would want to date. So I’m chillin by myself
Lol your looking for what I call a mixed bag. Has a bit of everything.
Same here.
I have legit never looked for potential dates or partners online. All my relationships have stemmed from in person interactions. I have checked people out online though. I find I'm more careful now about what i disclose initially, but I did mention to my current partner that "I have kids, don't want more and I'm currently pursuing sterilisation surgery. I have mental health issues that I am working on, if you're not willing to accept that and learn and grow with me - i am a person who always seeks new experiences and self development- then this won't work. What are your thoughts on that?" 4 years and counting we're still together and its nor perfect but we are happy.
I think if i was looking for a partner in future I would be more likely to grill a person because I've developed higher levels of "be accountable". It is challenging to be with me, but i know I'm worth it. Once i never would have considered my worth.
I am very decisive, so i hear you on the passive thing! Haha
I never had any dates come out of online apps like okcupid and stuff (and I did that on and off for a good two ish years).
Made tons of friends, though - some far longer lasting than I thought would be (like still to this day).
I did meet my gf online though - we played the same video game back when I was in college lol
You look beautiful in the thumbnail 😊 loved hearing the podcast. I'm rooting for you to find someone. ^^
Also I'm curious would you continue RUclips if you have children? (not in a family vlog kind of way but just like now with podcasts etc) :) I hope you because I think I would miss hearing these talks nad ideas from you ^^ but do whatever makes you happy.
Britt love the hair
Love this video! Thank you for this ✨ I'm confused on the 2s and 5s, though. What is that ranking system?
ruclips.net/video/8FyLkJx1x5s/видео.html
I'm ready
Good luck!
Great food for thought .. I kinda gave up on dating .. Is it just me; you look like this actress on Orange Is The New Black .. I had to say it ..🤷🏾 I'm new here so no offense meant both women are beautiful ☺
Update : Tracee Chimo Pallero is the actress name 😉
Would've been interesting to get more of your take on dating women as this ended up focusing quite a bit on men
For sure, honestly, they were the same to me. I didn't see a difference dating men or women online, personally. Though they happened at different times in my life. I've only dated women online in my twenties and while I was poly. So, not sure how that would change dating now.
27:00 just for me to finish later
Honestly kinda burned out from trying to date online or establish connections thru apps. As a gay cis man, who also leans toward introverted, apps make up a majority of my resources compared to getting out into the “real world” and in my experience so far I find it so hard to just wrangle someone down to actually meet in person. Not sure if others relate to this.
Sliding in these comments but I wouldn't want to date you, I would want to be your friend. I love introspective and insightful people. They are rare in this world. and yeah celebs and micro-niche celebs deserve treatment like the human beings they are when it comes to their dating lives. I can't fathom treating someone different because of that reason but it definitely happens so totally valid that they are protective.
The way I said bada boom with you ✨😂😂
I have not heard about 2 & 5? Can anyone give me a resource?
I’m a simple woman I see Sadaf, I insta click👌🏼
Red is definitely your color
When you stated that you are 32 I had a Pikachu face moment, because you don't look a day over 24!! 🧿🧡🧡
Brittany is a 2, I am a 2. No one can transcend 2. Enjoy the rest of your day.
lol the only reason I downloaded tinder was because I was new to my college and my friends and I decided to make friends on it... and then I kept it because my adhd brain likes the swiping motion haha! The app is gone now bc def not the best for me or my mental health. I had pretty much the same experience as you but with the added level of college male behavior because that is my current pool sadly
Lol, did you have a date with me? I also have a 10 year hole thanks to depression, but i'm not dating anyone, i'm just recovering what i lost those past 10 years. My culprit was a rogue thyroid, which means i also have to loose a lot of weight thanks to those 10 years in deadend jobs and most time in bed. Depression is a weird beast, no matter how rational you are, i just couldn't reason my way out of it.
It’s okay to find love wherever you are called to find it. I would love to know your take on (and maybe you’ve spoken about this before but…) soulmates. Specifically is it possible to have more than one…?
I believe in platonic and romantic soulmates. I believe a soulmate is a person with whom you share an undeniable connection and it's felt by both parties. I think it's also pretty subjective ♡
You are going to make a dope👏🏼 ass 👏🏼wife 👏🏼and mother someday. And, yes, the red looks So Good. And the content is Fire! 🔥 I’m not saying I’m a 5, I have no idea what level I am, but I sure wish I knew at 32 what I know now. My life would look completely different. (sigh) C’est la vie! Upward and Onward. Thanks for another great talk. I appreciate you! 🌺
If you put your phone below your chin, you're not showing your final form.
Okay I can’t hold it in anymore, is the ivy on you microphone stand real?
Nope. The only real plant in my room is the one on my desk and a cactus that lives on my window. My cat eats all my plants and attempts to eat the fake ones. I do keep living plants downstairs and outside in the garden ♡
@@BrittanySimon my cat also chews on my plants. Especially my dracaena magenta. Ive recently become obsessed with vining plants like ivys, pothos, and ferns. I love plants so much, they remind me of the life cycle and how they are here to clean my air. Idk something about nurturing something that also is nurturing me is very healing and nice.
@@amandasiple9936 Totally! I learned if you sprinkle a little chili powder or something cats don't like around or on your plant it can help them not eat them.
Oh man am I ever with you on not being compatible with passive personalities! I feel like this is even more of an issue with dating other women (which I do being a lesbian) is that so many people are waiting for someone to take all the moves. That's exhausting. lol I tend to be the more assertive personality but I also don't want to have to get everything started and maintain it myself. i.e What passives do to assertives. I need someone who can be just as assertive as me but also has a slice of passive energy so they don't exhaust me either by always being on the move and have no quiet moments.
I do wonder if that comes from living in a heteronormative society where we expect a relationship to be man (active) and woman (passive) even if it's a queer relationship. But as you address that's not always a gendered thing as there are passive men and assertive women. I don't know. I'll just stop and say I am with you again. Give me that assertive energy please~!
You said one of your priorities is to be the women your supposed to be What if my gender is a bottom boy? I’m in my twenties right now so it works but don’t know how long that’ll last
There is definitely a space in the world for successful bottom boys. Being a bottom boy isn't the issue, pretending you aren't one is. I think there are specific kinds of complimentary and healthy ways to go down that path♡ Like all of us though, you gotta figure out your values and make sure you know your core to know your long term path if that's your core identity.
Maybe I should introduce you to someone… he is really cool. Lives in NY but his family is from Texas.
Um...than he 's already off the market at least for now, if you think he'll become rural maybe wait a few years.
@@alexigra2235 True, he has been wanting to move back to Texas.
@@alexigra2235 You realize there are rural parts of New York right?
@@petalchild I thought that's generally called upstate though.
Maybe you are thinking of coercion methods?
I totally get the whole fem masc energy thing. My chi 70% yin and 30% yang so my ideal partner should be 30% yin and 70% Yang
I've watched 3 or four of your videos and I'm finding this one to be very confusing. It sounds like you want men who are traditional (hard working, good job, protector, dominant, masculine, tradditionally attractive, good finances, gets along with your conservative family, country) and non traditional ("queer energy", similar sexual experiences, openminded). I know from your other videos that you no longer identify as a feminist but it sounds like you fell hard into the feminist mindset of 18-30 is a party, live a non traditional life style, have fun do what ever you want and when it's time to settle down wait for that traditional man to come and let you into his already built life. The reality is traditional men want traditional women. Women get maternity guaranteed by biology, reproductive rights enshrined in law and furthered by social institutions like marriage and biased family law courts. Men get the honor system and as such have to vet women pretty hard on the likelihood that they will get bored and leave or have someone else's baby. Starting off dating by being evasive, saying you live in one area but actually living in another and tap dancing around your past is going to turn off alot of men.
Only 30 mins in but I hope you end up with YT comment guy because people are manipulative fucks. You just told them how to ask you out to get your attention. 🥺
first yay
Brittany I love you. But I was shook you used the F word. Not sure how to feel about that.
I totally understand ♡ Not everyone shares my background or culture and for some that word doesn't fit into their life. I think that's okay and I hope you know you're allowed to have boundaries around language and I respect those boundaries♡