Hello you beauties. Get the free Reading List of my 100 favourite books here - chriswillx.com/books/ Here’s the timestamps: 00:00 Intro 00:17 Reactions to Louise’s Book 04:38 What’s Wrong with the Sexual Revolution? 11:15 Challenging the Idea of ‘Progress’ 21:01 Invention of the Pill 27:48 Dynamics of Modern Dating & Marriage 33:55 Explaining Sexual Disenchantment 43:08 The Argument for Celibacy Before Marriage 50:44 Why is Loveless Sex Empowering? 1:04:56 Louise’s Findings on Porn 1:16:09 Exploitation of the Sex Drive 1:25:37 How to Act Against the Sexual Revolution 1:30:58 Where to Find Louise
For a follow up for this I'd try & get an interview with the author's of 'Sex At Dawn' Christopher Ryan &/or Cacilda Jetha! Mostly because they adress the long term evolutionary biological historical sexuality from the dawn not just prior to the Agricultural revolution around 10,000BC.
In the video you claim that a "healthy" man is extremely jealous by nature and would not let other men sleep with his girlfriend/wife. But there are also cultures like in Tibet where women often have multiple spouses. The old tradition also has economic reasons and ensures the survival of the people there. Your opinion about this?
There is nothing casual about casual sex. Women also encouraging other women to sleep around and not catch feelings is absolutely absurd also! Glad that you guys are talking about this topic as it's a huge issue for both men and women in the world!
High bodycount damages the ability of women to pairbond but the internet and men don't help things spending on average 90 minutes a day with online dating sites, half of that spent messaging women with a third of men not get a single date for their effort. That's a ton of narc inducing validation and simping.
@@wujekstalin1 Plot twist - you're the ones who bought into it 😂. Not just because you secretly wanted it, but also because you're looking for someone else to blame once it's not so convenient for you anymore. And here we are, us laughing with the consequences of your actions 😂😂😂. And I'm using "you" as a figure of speech.
As a virgin waiting for marriage, I’m considered the weird one in society nowadays! But ironically I get so much respect from both men and women and many have told me they wish they did that or had waited.
Fellow virgin here. I get seen a weird or “religiously indoctrinated” for holding onto my virginity for dear life until marriage. I don’t want to engage into the try before you buy as the risk is too high for a boy to pump and dump me. My children will be better off with one father and I will not damage my health by engaging in anti contraceptive measures either. There is also the MGTOW movement going on where guys complain about girls devaluing themselves by having a high body count but the same guys also shy away from you if sex is not on the table from the get go. What a contradictory world we live in.
That’s not weird, almost like a jackpot for your future man ;) The less men women had the better (men prefer it and studies showed that relationships are stronger and longer)
At the beginning of the interview, Louise mentioned articles about teaching women how not to develop feelings with their sexual partners and I have to say that I did read a similar piece on Vice a few years back and it really blew me away. I simply could not compute the amount of cognitive dissonance that is required to think such thoughts, let alone sharing them as advice! I remember clearly the writer of the article saying that she wanted to find a way to stop falling in love with guys that she HATED without ever acknowledging that the problem was in the premise. Why would anyone have sex with someone that they hate? I still can't figure out what kind of thought process would lead you there and even to go further down that road by wanting to repeat the experience... this is madness! Just find someone who's proper and learn to judge their character first rather than fucking with anybody and then acting like you're a victim of your normal and healthy biological functions. There are many things at play here but I think that this decoupling of sex from responsibility is what has led to this new eternal adolescent syndrome where most young adults fall unto this vacuous hedonistic quest because not only is it socially/culturally encouraged but it's also facilitated by the fact that most young people (especially millenials) are extremely cynic about love because we grew up in broken families with parents who were the first victims of this sexual revolution. How far are we going to stray from a working model just because we aren't prepared to put the effort to save our couples and families? Just because we're doing our best to deny that about half of life is about suffering and then break up at the first sign of any hardship?
One of the most important and painful lessons that every young woman must learn is the difference between a man who likes you and a man who desires you. They are not the same.
I think the conversation needs to evolve to the point where, instead of justifying any and all behavior as "progress" and "freedom," there is a recognition that certain behaviors do not benefit most people no matter how "progressive" they seem.
I think its to evolve to a point where conservatives do SOMETHING to actually progress and the liberal minded need to learn to appropriately manage their liberalism. This because we repressed ourselves in an extreme and violent way or a long time and wouldn't budge. That creates exponential clawback. maybe something there for all of the partisan hacks wether they be woke or born again
@@tomwright9904 I would be fine letting them do them, if they would let others do what they want as well. Sadly, that is not the case. These people are everywhere in education, the news media and the government, which gives them control of the information people get and how children are taught in schools. They get to do them, and we are forced to play along lest we get labeled as "Nazis" for pointing out the negative aspects of this behavior, or simply not wanting to take part. Ive read articles posted by mainstream news organizations that blatantly said that NOT wanting to sleep with a trans person was transphobic. Basically saying that trans people are the only ones that get to choose who they fuck. Everybody else just has to shut up and do what they are told. How nice.
I am sending this to everyone I can. Every time I bring up these points in conversations I wanted a podcast that summarized everything to make it more digestible. Thanks Chris!
Everytime I talk about this even in the Christian community, I get shot down as an incel, just great. But maybe because there’s a lady talking about it, they’ll actually listen.
Episodes like this make me more optimistic about the future - the fact that we're having these conversations. I hope to make a channel that encourages the same constructive conversations. Great topic choice Chris!
Muslim women wear the hijab in public but they do also shop at Victoria secret, for their husband at home. There are other ppl out there, that wear Victoria's secret in PUBLIC and at home tell their boy friends/"partners" to go .......... That could be one difference Peace x
@Wei Li yes, i think i heard it on one of Chris' episodes where the guest made the point that things won't change until men but mainly young women see monogomy, children and marriage as the cool thing to aspire to. This cycle is something that has to play itself out and will take decades.
3:16: 📚 The speaker discusses their book on the problems with the sexual revolution, highlighting differences between men and women and the negative impacts of casual sex and pornography. 12:00: 📚 The speaker discusses the impact of the sexual revolution on women and challenges the notion of progress in relation to feminism. 16:04: 🔑 The discussion highlights the differences in sexual disgust threshold between men and women, the impact of these differences on sexual relationships, and the consequences of the pill and technological advancements on gender dynamics. 23:32: 🤔 The speaker discusses the physical and psychological differences between men and women, highlighting the profound physical differences and the potential for cultural influence on psychological differences. 31:13: 🔄 Sexual disenchantment is the idea that sex has lost its special meaning and become a mere social interaction, but in reality, people still attach significance to sex. 39:01: 🔍 The discussion explores the pressure women feel to engage in emotionless sex and the role of consent in framing these experiences. 46:14: 🔍 The conversation discusses the societal changes that have led to more men being absent fathers and the acceptance of single motherhood, as well as the emotional attachment and instincts associated with sex and reproduction. 55:00: 📢 The speaker discusses the impact of OnlyFans on women, highlighting the challenges and risks they may face. 1:06:06: 💭 The online porn industry is profit-driven and uses algorithms to create a super stimulus, leading to addictive and extreme consumption. Some men develop erectile dysfunction and struggle to have real-life sexual experiences. 1:09:14: 😮 The speaker discusses the contradiction between the increase in explicit sex scenes in media and the decrease in actual sexual activity, and explores the impact of porn on sexual culture and attitudes. 1:16:50: 💬 The speaker discusses the disconnect between the left's prioritization of tearing down bourgeois sexual norms and the negative consequences of disconnecting sex from reproduction. 1:24:55: 📚 The speaker discusses the need for more critical thinking and less polarization in political discourse, and suggests that women should delay having sex to assess a partner's intentions. 1:32:00: 🎙 The speaker thanks the audience for tuning in and encourages them to check out the best clips from the podcast and subscribe. Recap by Tammy AI
@neglectfulsausage7689 Makeup is not exclusively for attracting and mate selection. Also, young people (generally) mock and disregard the words of the visably aged, and the infirm.
I wish i had know this at 16, growing up in Denmark where abortion have long been normalized and the sexual revolution is old news.. Being so confused about my own feelings and denying my inability to just "have sex like men" and wishing to get married one day, to a kind man, and the disconnect from reality this "freedom" is, along side getting sold the disney fantasy of meeting a man who will sweep me of my feet and love me forever.. I'm now 34, single mum of two, the father pissed off years ago, and have no contact to his kids, his choice.. i've really had to learn the hard way, that my system isn't build for this kind of thing, it's been detrimental to my mental health as a young woman.. i hate that all the norms are gone, i feel it's imposible and heartbreaking, to navigate dating.. With online dating, and the normalization of emtionless "puplic" sex, this is only getting worse, i pity the young women getting sold this lie, so that assholes can make a ton of money on their bodies.. and i pity the young men left with no drive and no feeling of what a real connection can do for your quality of life.. i'm so glad the internet wasn't around when i was growing up.. Living in a very woke world, and feeling like somethings fundamentally wrong with this.. Thank you for stating why it feels so wrong, when all the arguments off personal "freedom" are really good, and putting my feelings in to comprehensive words, backed up with sience😊 I'll try to raise my kids with this knowledge in mind❤
It's probably better he pissed all the way off. I allowed my ex to still see our son and now my ex at age 40 has decided he's really a woman and has started hormone treatments. Fine example of a man for our boy. 🙄🙄
Ohh yeah, they are better off without him, and i'm better off not having to deal with his sorry, half criminal, explosive, non-functional a** as a co-parent😏 but i still wished i'd done better in chosing a father for my kids😏 if i had known sex too early would induse romantic feelings, i'd have had clear head and probably not cought any feelings.. so this knowledge would have been gold😊
explaining "red pill" to an elderly coworker, I told him it's a reference to the matrix where you take the red pill to get out of the comfortable and into reality. He replied, "And the blue one is viagra?"
Back in the days of the modern American housewife men were looked at as being horrible for cheating on their wives with their secretaries and such. The feminist movement came along and told women “hey you know that horrible thing that men regularly do by NOT being in control of themselves? why don’t we just make it OK by society standards for you to do the same thing?” Instead of calling men to a higher standard we lowered the standard for women. Great idea!
@@quakers200 How is her parodic quote not entirely accurate? (And, if you think parody is too much, just read her next sentence which encapsulates it perfectly in a completely descriptive way). Pointing out an instance of parody in an eloquent comment and ignoring the rest is a perfect example of avoiding to address the point being made.
I find it interesting that society recognizes that it's *necessary* to "teach" people to "not catch feelings" -- because that very fact implies that we know that it's *unnatural* to avoid involving feelings. The fact that it has to be "overcome" is an evidence itself.
100%. The scary thing is that it's narcissistic people encouraging other people to become narcissistic. To narcissists, people are "objects" that only exist for gratification and narcissistic supply. It's disgusting.
feelings are a liability. Proper management of emotions is essential for mental health and performance reasons. Sexual gratification is only one of the fields. In a professional environment, you also cannot make decisions emotionally or let emotions dictate your interactions with other people. Think about an airline pilot, a professional scuba diver, a tank battalion commander.
@@svr5423 Certainly feelings can be a liability in certain situations, and being able to manage emotions is essential. But we're specifically talking about *intimate relationships*. It's unnatural to have an intimate relationship with someone, and not have feelings involved. That's a totally different situation from piloting a plane or commanding a military battalion.
I’m 46 years old, never had a girlfriend and never had a date in my whole life. I never thought my life would turn to be this way, it was never my plan to become an incel and live on my own from the age of 22. I’ve seen and learnt a lot over the years, and when it comes to interacting with women i realised how futile my efforts are and how worthless my heart is. When you’re not worth a second glance from a woman, that’s when you know your value and your place. I know i will die a lonely and childless old man one day, but that’s ok, i have accepted that long time a go. Now i just live my life in peace, i have everything i need, i keep fit and healthy ( i have my own gym at home), i’ve traveled around Europe (by myself) and seen many awesome places, i work hard and i make the most of my life as it is. Yes, i am an incel but i don’t hate nobody, i have absolutely no intention in hurting/killing anybody and i don’t resent anybody. I just simply live my life in peace, just got back from two weeks holiday abroad and planning on buying my self a new car soon. Life goes on anyway. The complete lack of female involvement in my life and an involuntarily lifestyle of solitude has taught me that my happiness does not depend on a women, it depends on me.
Do you think if you agreed to provide for a woman and all your children together, it would help you get a woman? Or do you not want to be used like that?
Former incel here, there are reasons for being an incel. 30% of men who identify as an incel have some type of autism. If you're not in that category, it might be one or all of the following: Low career status Out of shape Socially awkward Do any of these things match with you?
@@cholokori7432 One major obstacle and then, one problem: me with a woman - my brain simply can not comprehend such fantastical and out of this world hypothetical. There are many problem with dating a single mother, let alone marrying one. No point in listing them here because will be here for a long time. But before even getting to that point, i can’t help it thinking that i’ve been completely ignored by women all my life. A woman wanting me now, just as insane as that sounds to me, especially a single mother, i believe they’re only interested in the safe and secure life i can offer. I don’t want to sound harsh or cruel but i’m no charity worker for any woman. I apologise if that sounds arrogant or somehow even vengeful, but try and put yourself in my shoes. All these years nobody wanted me, why would anybody, especially a single mother want me now? It’s not me they would want, but rather what i can provide for them. But none of these matter anyway, because, like i said, any scenario which involves me and a woman is absolutely incomprehensible to me. I don’t stress myself with such fiction and i’m not going to start today. At no point my life gave me even the slightest hint that such mythology can become reality.
41:05 "They feel sexual disgust, they feel shame, they feel these deep painful emotions and the only person to blame sometimes is the man." Ladies and gentleman, welcome to feminism 101.
That's true...it is. And I'm not suprised if rape allegations will get higher because of it! I wish tho that our bodies were left out from ads and that the sexual objectification of us stopped on social media etc and porn stopped or at least you have to identify your self everytime on any pornsite as 18 at least. No children or youth should se that. It changes your view on men and sex. Social media kills and influencer are a sad business and dehumanising.
Yes, “World Ends Tomorrow - Women and Children most affected.” Men’s sites sum it up as, “Women want the advantages of being a man, the privileges of being a woman, and the responsibility of a child.” The whole idea is that women were oppressed by men while the reality is women and men were oppressed by a few powerful men. Women got the vote, but avoided the draft. Women got better educated and better jobs, but they still expect a mate to make more than they do. Women want equal pay for equal work, but avoid most of the difficult and dangerous work. Gradually, feminism is liberating ... men from women. Men have looked at the rules of the game and are deciding not to play. Turns out it is really men who need women like a fish needs a bicycle. I’m glad I was dating and got married in the 80s but now I worry for my boys. Don’t want to discourage them from marriage but not sure the obvious risk is worth the potential reward.
Yeah, it is not just sex though. Anything and everything that is challenging, even slightly, to a woman, is blamed on men. That is the drive of feminism always. Transfer all responsibility off women and onto men. All responsibility.
When she was talking about powerlifting and how a novice can lift more than she does after years of training, I could totally relate. I'm a sports climber for over 15 years now and many times there a new male climbers that after 6months or so of climbing, can do the same grade as I (not all the time and the style of the route matters, but still...).
It is obvious that men are physically much stronger than women, How anyone dares to deny that? It's crazy. That's why they do all the construction works, Moving houses, they go to the Wars etc One of their societal and biological mission is protection, to protect us and the children 💪
@@Mr.Honest247 True. If we can all acknowledge our own limitations, we can learn from each other and compete logically. For example, there are categories of weight in boxing because one is not necessarily more impressive than another. A boxer could be middleweight, and top of his game in his country. But pair him with a heavyweight, that would've been a different fight. Not to say he would lose, per say, because he could've been quicker [etc.], but it would just be a different fight, in which neither boxer, fighting with someone of another category, would be displayed at their best. Male sports often have divisions to showcase the best of a large variety. Any athlete, engineer, etc, of outstanding skill, still has outstanding skill, whether female or male. Recognising individual merit is the way forward.
"so focused on a somewhat imaginary enemy that they can't interrogate the coherence of their own views" brilliant line, and this can be applied to so much in life ❤
A key takeaway from this conversation is that social norms exist for a reason. A society is a system, and for a system to function most efficiently it can’t get too bogged down with layers upon layers of complex, arbitrary, or confusing social rules. Gender “fluidity” and the introduction of multiple gender pronouns, and the expectation that we can no longer ever assume a person’s pronouns is a perfect example of this idea of bogging down a system with inefficiency. Social conventions have always been complex enough in the office and in the dating arena, but adding this new layer of rules that includes its own, enforced social penalties and punishments, should anyone violate them, is IMHO a really bad idea. There is a reason why the most popular and enduring games have simple sets of established rules. Imagine if it was decided that the rules of Chess were now fluid, and the types of moves each piece could make were arbitrary according to the whims of the players - “the King is now a Queen, sorry, deal with it!” It doesn’t require much imagination to see how that would destroy the game and result in total chaos on the board. It really seems that some people desperately want this sort of outcome for American society, and I think all of us should question and interrogate their true motives.
people are not chess pieces and society is not a chessboard. social change does not occur on a chessboard. the rules of chess have evolved for centuries, people have argued about every rule and it is played differently depending on where you are and what time period. comparing a single board game to society is inadequate because there have been other board games before and since chess. we routinely throw entire sets of rules out and create new ones or amend old rules. also, in chess, when any pawn reaches the other side of the board it can be turned into any other piece. on a whim. lol.
The point being made is a perfectly fair and valid one. Delving this far into the Chess analogy is essentially intentionally missing the point being made and is disingenuous, in my opinion. The writer of the comment clearly doesn’t believe chess and society map 1:1, it was just one example of many that could have been chosen to make a simple point.
@@ginaritchie451 I haven't played chess since I was in primary school, and the chess analogy was not the main point of my argument. That being said (and I looked this up), the basic rules about how the pieces can move on the board have been stable since the beginning of the 19th century, including your rule about pawns reaching the other side ("pawn promotion"). An example of the types of rules that have changed more recently (2013): "bringing a phone to the playing hall may lead to a loss, an illegal move will lose the game also in rapid chess, and two illegal moves lead to a loss in classical chess." There was a subtle modification to how pawn promotion must be executed, but not to the core concept "The act of promotion may be performed in various ways: the pawn does not have to be placed on the square of arrival, removing the pawn and putting the new piece on the square of promotion may occur in any order. If an opponent’s piece stands on the square of promotion, it must be captured." It should be obvious that these small rule changes are minor and not "revolutionary." The core rules of play on the board are stable, and no, we do not "routinely throw entire sets of rules out and create new ones" in chess (or in the legal system). Were we to do this, the game would lose all meaning, just like society would completely break down if all the rules were replaced too quickly. For an example of how disruptive it is when radicals and ideologues DO throw out well-established rules, one need only look at the impact of SCOTUS overturning Roe v. Wade. If you want to live in a stable and peaceful society, you should want and expect change to be gradual, and not be surprised at the backlash when people try to push through foundational changes at the most basic level of social interaction, such as what pronouns we’re allowed to "assume" in our schools and workplaces or who is allowed to enter a gendered bathroom with us, with severe social and professional penalties sometimes imposed for non-compliance. If your political position is "burn it all down," I hope you understand what that actually means IRL, and whether it's worth it.
@@RH_Factor You are absolutely right that the "chess" analogy was not my main point, but in my reply I doubled down on it since chess seems to be Gina's thing. The *real* point is that the human brain, on average, can only handle a certain level of social complexity before social relations break down. One example is the theory of Dunbar's Number - that each person can only manage about 150 social contacts in any meaningful way. My point about the whole "pronoun" thing is that it instantly adds an entirely new layer of unnecessary complexity to literally every social interaction outside the home. If our brain's processing power has to always be devoted to this new task, other more important priorities will have to be sacrificed, and that's bad for everyone.
@@filmjazz very interesting thread filmjazz. I appreciate the research you clearly did as a counter to Gina's point. Not a common occurrence in this platform. Wish you well.
Didn’t have any sex until my honeymoon night at age 22. I had completed a tour of duty in the military and been in courtship for a year before I married my wife. I’m 55 now. No regrets.
Well that was a long time ago when sex abstinence until marriage wasnt crucified like it is today. Pray for us in our 20's and 30's. We're the ones persecuted for being virgins after the age of 20.
This is interesting to watch since I was a stripper/pole dancer for over 7 years . Even though the barrier of sex /sexual acts was never crossed it did have very deep long lasting effects for me . Having to lie to myself everyday and pretend like I enjoyed dancing naked for men that were literally so gross to me did something deep down , even though I tried to separate my work brain to my ‘ real life’ brain . I can’t say I regret what I did because I did make good money and got myself in a good position now and I think I needed to learn this lesson ( I wouldn’t of seriously understood the talk we’re listening to now if I hadn’t of been through what I have ) but I would definitely not advise any young person to do what I did . It’s not a path for long term relationship health , I got lucky , 99% of my friends in that job didn’t get lucky .
@@airgin3000 I think she means that she was able to get out of it relatively unscathed and after building up a decent amount of money to be able to successfully move on. Most aren't so fortunate and end up in a downward spiral of drugs and sex work that they never get out of.
@@airgin3000 You still haven't wised up. Saying that the "men...were literally so gross" is devoid of compassion for them and for yourself. Do you imagine you were better than your audience? Why do you think they wound up there? Why did you?
@@hijodelaisla275 Dude she doesn't have to have compassion for men who would never give such a thing in return, her judgement of those men were not wrong and that's why she got lucky. Pay attention.
For me, sex doesn’t create an emotional attachment it just enhances what’s already there. And it’s nowhere near as dramatic as you make it out to be with your wording.
Sex is not that big of a deal in my eyes. It can be a wonderful thing to share with a person you love or it can equate to masturbating with a body. As they discussed in the video, generally men don’t generate attachment from it
I bought the book right after finishing the podcast, and it arrived last night from the UK(I live in the Netherlands). It is the most revolutionary book I have read in a while. I started reading it yesterday at 21.30 and finished it today at around 15.40. I cannot describe how understood I felt, and how she confirmed what I always knew to be true. I completely related to the statement before the acknowledgements '' For the women who learned it the hard way''. All women (including myself) have been sold a lie, it's time to correct the trajectory of our destiny and stop listening to psychopathic messages pushed on us by mainstream media. Time to make a change!
Stop telling yourself and others it's the mainstream media. It's women. It's feminists. This is women getting what they wanted and learning the hard way why for millennia women were protected by fathers and husbands that gave a fuck. Women have argued for decades to be given the freedom to make their own fuck ups and have rejected the protections of good men, leaving you vulnerable to the predation of the bad ones. No sympathy for women.
womens value t men 14-23 , thats it. when u girls look at kids and say '' if they didnt make them that cute we wuldnt have them'' , its the same with men and history ''' if men didnt take wives from 14-22 up till the early 1900s and women of old where just like modern gay men with debunk uterus's who don't settle down till 30 their would be no history of marriiage anywhere in the world. much like its over today. mans, girls and boys world today, women are merely to give out lousy customer service at their work now that the job is the sole income as a dutch date she has to become to evven date modern men who dont really have to trade down anymore or do much to get laid.
I know the moment I woke up to the harms of the sexual revolution. It was the 1980s and I was still in highschool, and Germaine Greer came on TV. She looked in the camera and she said, the books I wrote about sexual liberation were for married women, not Little Girls, next time a boy said if you really loved him you'd have sex with me. You say to him, if you really loved me you'd buy me an engagement ring. These few words changed my life.
This interview reminded me of Thomas Sowell's A Conflict of Visions and how people on one side will accept and practice passed-down wisdom and traditions even if they personally can't fully articulate all the reasons for following them, while the other side sees no point in following rules when their necessity are no longer fully articulated and are simply taken on faith. I've become pretty socially conservative with age but I'm also sympathetic to the latter side as I've always been a "why" person. I just find it so sad and wasteful that by throwing away the morals and traditions of the past these problems have become pervasive in our societies and someone has to survey the damage and re-articulate the problems and the need for social enforcement of certain norms and we've circled right back around to tradition again (hopefully).
It appears the regeneration of tradition which ultimately is what works takes a staggering generation or two. It's the subsequent generations that benefit before they also repeat the cycle: degeneration, cast away everything, look back and retrieve, stabilise society.
@@hpal The problem is we pass down the solution to the problems and FORGET the problems that gave rise to the solutions. We assume everyone knows what the problems were and only need to communicate the solutions. To break the cycle we need to pass down both.
I love this so much!! I briefly tried casual sex when I was a young teenager. I thought it was what I was supposed to do. I had to get really drunk to do it and the shame and sorrow the next day was immense. I really REALLY wish I hadn’t gone against my natural instincts but societal indoctrination and peer pressure is also a very strong force. Especially as a young woman.
If you were a young teen under 18, or if you were too drunk to legally consent anyway (even if you got drunk _after deciding to have hookup sex_ ) you could take that sorrow and regret to the police and put your partners in prison.
@@saathoff1220 If she was under 18 in the United States, she was too young to legally consent to sex. If she was drunk, she could argue that she was too drunk to consent to sex. Either one would be a slam dunk if she decided, after the fact, that what she chose to do was not consensual.
Exactly the same feelings. For fellas it can be a sort of validation but casual sex just amplifies feelings of loneliness. Men aren’t really supposed to say it.
I think every young woman should listen to this video if they’re entering high school or college! I think educating young girls on this reality has historically fallen on mothers and the older women in the community, but I think it’s been lost as a cultural responsibility. I for one was never taught/warned about any of this and had to learn it the very hard way in my teens and early 20s. Spread the word!
It was women's job to teach this and always has been. As men we teach our sons how to behave and as women you teach your daughters how to behave. Women teach nurturing and men teach the truth of life.
Me too!! I didn’t know casual sex could cause me so much shame and sorrow. It was only depicted in the media as being fun and carefree (think Samantha from Sex in the city)
@@herelookinatu that is because of how men and women are built psychologically. Men are built more to run on an analytical system where as women run more on an emotions based system. This results in a nurturer and protector type system. Women are psychologically designed to be nurturers but when that nurturing capacity goes bad, it becomes the most insidious creature in existence. Men are psychologically designed to be protectors and when that goes bad men become violent creatures. The reason women don't teach the lessons of life is because of the factor that as a protector, you must constantly be aware of all threats at all times and so you pick up all things that allow you to survive, those are the lessons you teach. As a protector, you must distance your emotions from your survival. So that should answer your question.
@@alexrenee737 Well they better get over their fear. We are fresh out of patience. And we men are not going to sit here in the west and waste our younger years waiting for them to have an epiphany. Women have had decades to correct themselves and we are not going to wait anymore.
I don't see her thesis. Again, what does she suggest we do with Incels, other than remove porn, prostitutes and sex robots? Because the money these guys won't spend on onlyfans or a blowjob machine they will spend on a gun.
@@steinsgate514 I did .. she thinks porn has benefits .. she's a feminist and doesn't even know it lol she probably likes voting and being a careerist. Who knows, just a hunch, but a good one based on what I watched. Talk is cheap, remember?
I’m halfway through this episode and I didn’t realize how much I needed this. I’m a woman approaching 30 and adopted a much more conservative view in the last couple years- especially in regards to children and marriage (thanks to Jordan Peterson). I’d always thought there was something wrong with me as a woman for not wanting to watch porn, or feeling guilty for not wanting to sleep with someone early on in a relationship, or not having a libido anywhere close to men, etc etc. I’ll finish the episode later tonight and I’ll probably buy her book too. Thanks for these great podcasts.
me too. if anything its always anxiety i get whenever i date or trying to find a mate. how can one get aroused with basically a stranger? i can go through that with alcohol but eeh i no longer drink so gone my social life too. and i dont think healthy men are suppose to be hypersexual. it does not work that way unless he is pathological and i know whatever worldview i adopt, its never going to be perfect so i throw it in the trash as well. i no longer desperately try to look for someone.. i try to be content on my own
@@barrontrump3943 Look at you mocking someone for being lost in the crowd at one point, instead of appreciating her for finding her way out of it. Way to go dude, the world really needs more of that. Why not save your anger and derision for the society that glorifies promiscuity, rather than pointing it at a lone individual who you know nothing about? You’re assuming a lot with your incredibly rude comment.
I'm sorry that society lied to you and that you now have to deal with the consequences of everything you did in your twenties when trying to find a mate now in your thirties
I’ve listened to several interviews with this lovely woman. She is wonderful at explaining her points and ideas and has a very soothing voice. I think her studies and work really needs to be heard and studied everywhere.
@@voidsaverobShe clearly implied that consent was attained. Hence her use of the word "Work", and within the context of comparing it with the main job of the theoretical "sex worker". Your confusion adds to the argument that "sex work" isn't actually work.
@@sman14GTA bro listen to the intro again tf are you on about. "obtaining consent" around sex from your workplace subordinates is inappropriate and harassment. in no context does it excuse this type of behaviour to seek consent.
@@voidsaverob the consent for sex work, in her comparison, is automatically inherited from its comparison to the actual traditional work that the sex worker is doing where they are engaging with their manager. People go to work consensually, obviously. Sex work can be done consensually, obviously. But to put prostitution next to actual work with statements like "sex work is real work", AND to then have a problem with the manager basically asking for extra "professional expertise" highlights how stupid the statement is and the people who stand by that statement. If it was _actual work of equal value_ , the BJ just be billed as overtime!
A fascinating conversation to listen to because I’m 65 and was there to watch the attitude shift I real time but still connected enough to the past to not think saying yes to every sexual proposition was a good idea.
Man, I am so happy I am in a happy marriage with a wonderful woman. I have been with her for 19 years. What worries us is the environment our children will have to live in. Social media induced craziness, narcissism and depression, transgenderism, the daring and sex landscape. It feels dangerous out there for teenagers and young adults.
Agreed. Also married 26 yrs. Our kids are young adults and teens. I think having a strong marriage is a huge gift to our children as we are living what the world says is impossible or even a miserable, bad thing. My 16 yr old son even watches shows with me and comments that he doesn't think certain characters have a "proper marriage" I think he means a healthy marriage. Such as Walt and his wife in Breaking Bad.
If it helps to know, as long as you give them a strong and stable environment, a nurturing Lee one at that, and not forced upon them, they will be unaffected by these outside influences. The transgender one though, that might be a bit hard. I was born before transgender was a word, yet I felt transgender in my early adolescence. This was because even though my parents taught me that your personality and your gender to different things and that me having ovaries didn’t make me have to like one thing or another, as I love lightning McQueen when I was a kid and love to play with toy cars and trains and love the justice league. Despite this, society is still society and when you go to the toy store there’s always a boys section and girls section, and that enough can send the wrong message to a child. Also if they were into kids that bully them and taught them for going against gender norms, that can affect it too. As long as you periodically assure them that being a boy or a girl is not a personality type and that they can be whatever they want to be and do whatever they want and they don’t need to change their whole entire gender identity for it, you should be good
Its amazing how people nowadays worry about kids going through social media induced narracism, depression and trangenderism and these are the same people that talk about the glory days of hold where people's greatest fears were child dying at a young age due to disease, waring tribes etc., just goes to show that we will always be snowflakes.
I'm happy to see people discussing issues like this. The conversation is long overdue. I was 4 years old when the first birth control pill was marketed. There was such a stir among adults at that time that even I, a pre-kindergarten toddler, was aware of this historic event, even though my elders were "trying" not to discuss it in my presence. That's how repressive society was in the 50,s and early 60,s. Sexual reassignment surgery was another topic adults could not help but whisper about and be overheard by "the kids". Abortion was the next issue and I was in my tweens when it was in the headlines. People whisper about girls who "took a trip to New York." I grew up witnessing the sexual revolution, feminism, Gay pride, and the upheavals and outcry in their wake. People either embraced or rejected these new things. Herpes and AIDS emerged as plagues that put the brakes on what some called Progress and others labeled as Decadence. Humanity has transitioned from strict moral codes to "If it feels good, do it", to having every conflicting idea in between. We haven't learned how to deal with all these new toys and we haven't figured out how they all mesh into our lives. There's going to be a lot of heartbreak until we figure this out.
Plus we fail to see how much corporations have exploited women by giving them a faustian bargain, of marrying their career while underpaying them, for the most part.
Great conversation Chris! Listened to Louise here, bought her book. The book is phenomenal, so much research, clear line of thought, strong arguments, eloquent. Would recommend it to anyone.
I grew up to moderate/conservative parents in the 80s and 90s who believed in the sexual revolution. Now, in my late 40s, I can see how detrimental this cultural trend actually was in developing strong marriages. I tried my best to avoid divorce but my first marriage ended after 7 years. Even the beginning of my relationship with my wife was based on sex. While we had what I thought was an open, friends with benefits, relationship, her concept and FEELINGs were different. The bottom line is that women aren't wired to have sex like men can have sex. We have to accept this fact! I don't want my daughters to sleep around with now commitment. Their body and souls are worth more than that! The sexual revolution made sex transactional and removed the value of human interactions, that are the core to why we are here. My wife and I had some amazing times at the beginning but there is so much more to building a family with someone and sharing common goals, like raising children. My life is much richer and I can now see how detrimental transaction sex was and is to people dating today.
Men are wired to have sex based on opportunity, women are wired to have sex based on connection. The whole sexual revolution giving women "power" by controlling conception, only made casual sex more common and hurt women in the process. A good woman with Christian values and an abstinent view on sex is more valuable than ever.
I ran across some statistics a while back pertaining to gay male sexual interactions. The number of sexual partners had by homosexual men was staggering. Women are not wired in a way that gives them the psychological desire to engage in a steady barrage of no holds barred sex.
So glad I came of age in the 80s and early 90s. Been married to an amazing woman for 24 years now. Was 26 when I got married in 1998...definitely sowed my oats before marriage and figured out what I was looking for in a partner and she and I never take anything we have for granted. Listening to my single friends of all ages 22-50 talk about the horrors of dating these days....it sounds like mine field. I cannot even imagine dealing with all of that nonsense. I would rather pack a bag and go disappear into the mountains and live in a cabin and let society continue to lose its mind. The messages our "culture " pushes out sound like the ravings of a lunatic. Its no wonder men and women are all completely confused, misguided and there is such a huge disconnect between the two. Its truly sad. As one other person pointed out...men and women complement each other...its not a competition....yet by and large all of these movememts and media etc have driven such a massive wedge between men and women I honestly do not see how that gap will ever be closed. I truly feel for you decent single folks who are looking for a mate.
I agree. I believe society is dividing into more and more subgroups. I think that is the way it will go. The people who want to have casual sex and an abortion every other month can go off in their corner, and this growing segment of the population who rejects that idea will go off to ours.
Porn culture ruined (poisoned?) so many relational aspects. Very sad. We have a society of bitter, chronic masturbators and cynical, hairless porn star wannabes. It isn't healthy.
Well yes, the more socially conservative and religious are still having (mostly) stable marriages and lots of children. I am Catholic and have 3 kids. I have friends who are married with 6 kids, 9 kids and 8 kids and are grandmas in their 50s because their kids still marry in their mid 20s. I am concerned about all the poor kids growing up in chaotic homes and environments with no stability and absent parents. That has been happening in large numbers for two generations now.
You're reminding me of a friend of mine who recently got married. Obviously I want him to be happy, but I would be lying if I said I wasn't worried for him. His wife seems like she has a lot of red flags. They are both in the military and as he was driving me back to the airport I heard the wife call on speaker to complain about her boss and all the "white males" she has to work for. My buddy tried to joke about it since he is a white male, but there are so many more clues that she is miserable trying to "prove herself" to impossible feminist standards. This is even though it has lead to her needing back surgery because of all of the physical labor she takes on "to not feel worthless."
My first time as a man made me wish I had waited, it felt forced on my part. I also tried the casual game but everything felt like I was just using myself to pleasure the ladies, I was detached and it meant nothing and made me feel hollow and empty
as a guy who's never had a gf, but was just ditched by a "casual" partner before she had sex with me, this makes me realize that maybe it wasn't such a bad thing. I wanted something real but she just wanted to fool around without the commitment. It felt so sudden that she didn't want to be with me anymore when I thought we were having a good time together, and it hurt to have that opportunity of experiencing it taken away from me, really messed with my head. But I think I'm just realizing that she wasn't a very good person and I wouldn't wanna do that with someone like that anyway. I just hope that there is still someone out there for me, because with everything going on, and knowing what kind of guy I am, I gotta say it seems extremely unlikely.
"I also tried the casual game but everything felt like I was just using myself to pleasure the ladies" and thats your mistake. you dont to this to pleasure others, you do it because YOU enjoy it. if you arent enjoying it and you are doing it to please others it cannot work, meaning you will get no satisfaction from it. and satisfaction is the whole point of it to begin with. the question that i find interesting is: why do you rate pleasing others higher than yourself?
Chris, I've been following the 'Intellectual Darkweb' for years now, and you are absolutely 100% up there with Peterson, Vervaeke etc. in regard to how interesting the topics you are discussing are. For a Love Island lad from my part of England, the transformation you have undergone is also really inspiring. Any time a notification for a video notification for a new video pops up, you're always first on the list. Keep up the good work man, this was such an amazing conversation. Louise Perry is a gem too; such intellect and reflection upon her own paradigm of feminism.
"So focused on a some-what imaginary enemy, that they cant actually interrogate the coherence of their actual views" talking about US-centric feminism is spot on.
Louise Perry, always a treat where-ever you encounter her. Her retro-feminism is quite radical. Thank you, Chris for having her on. Thank you Louise for coming and sharing.
She is just an `Ain't it awful´ conservative. Conservative shaming, attempts to stigmatize and forbid non-monogamous relationships while promoting gender binary relationships because of the economic benefits of demographic expansion to those at the top of the economic pyramid. The Feudal Gentry´s optimized tax code disincentivizes building a family.
I've met countless women who've gone through the motions, shagged around, done it all, etc. The vast majority of them end up worn out and resentful. I've also witnessed lots of them then literally hate to see other people who've chosen a different approach and are happy in a relationship attempt to pour scorn on others. If it's free choice then why is it that there is such negative vehemence from these people who chose and lost? There are few shortcuts, and I find people are simply too lazy and expect everything instantly with no input. It's definitely a problem in the West and it will come back to bite us.
I've had similar observations. There definitely seems to be a correlation between the amount of sexual promiscuity and the amount of trauma/emotional baggage/instability/bitterness in women.
I always thought that this notion of having to go wild now and then settle down later if they did have the chance to settle down is a destructive thought process. When you get to have that ingrained in your nature that it gives you dopamine so much that some people got numb by it, you cant just snap your finger and decide to stop so you will be monogamous and be satisfied and happy. Youre like going upstream the whole time fighting a battle within yourself to stay on the right course. That explains why some people, even though they are living a good life as most of us percieve it, ends up being depressed and misetable. Your mind is pre occupied on the battle to change your perspective in life that any ripple or small obstruction on that path will break you. I think people need to learn how to find a way to strengthen their resolve to accomodate all this pressure since society already distorted formative years that built our core values the wrong way.
It’s because misery loves company. They don’t want to face the mirror alone and realize they made the wrong choices. That would mean they would have to take accountability for their actions, and can’t play the victim card.
This woman gets it. I was starting to think that it was impossible for a woman to understand the male perspective but I'm now filled with hope. Thank you for putting this video into existence.
This conversation made me very sad. I'm glad that people are finally talking about the wreckage that promiscuity has wrought. And really sad we had to learn the hard way. So many broken lives.
"sad we had to learn the hard way?!?!!" It was in the cards, it happened!!! why grovel and spit and moan that it happened that way???? PICK UP MOVE ON!
The sub context of this question had me thinking "maybe men dont naturally die before women" it seems like its on Men to basically do everything, especially when we know now womens educational prowess, maybe just maybe men worked themselves to death to provide the best lives they could for women and children. Which gave me another Eureka moment so I checked and what do you know... Gay men make more money, live longer and happier lives than apparently straight men, straight women and lesbiand women... It seems instead of saying as always "men need to do more and be better" It might actually be the cost of "earning" and maintaining a woman has always been too high.
I may have a band-aid solution. End involuntary child support. If women KNOW they will have to raise a child on their own unless they get a written agreement with the father, they are less likely to sleep around. Most sane women don't WANT to have an abortion or be a single mother.
@@aCycloneSteve Whenever this is proposed you need to understand society does not want to support your child NOR does society want to deal with the ramifications of a unsupported child. Child support was a conservative mans legislation not a liberal woman's. Understand conservative men believe (as they should logically) men are more responsible than women, benevolent sexism if you will.
Many thanks for this discussion. Suggesting that polygamy or promiscuity is ‘natural’ to men seems to me like saying murder, rape, theft, unhealthy eating/drinking are all ‘natural’. That kind of ‘natural’ does not make such activity wise, insightful or psychologically having wholesome results. Men also have minds and using them in self-reflection is also ‘natural’; its being regarded as a ‘minority sport’ does not make it ‘unnatural’.
@steffihaas7490 Thanks, Steffi. You are probably aware that, historically, various ancient societies formally accepted polygyny (having multiple wives/women simultaneously). Today, Islamic law formally permits polygyny (a man may have up to four wives, provided he treats them “justly” (i.e according to Islamic law) and equally, and any number of concubines); parents can marry a daughter off at any age and not necessarily with her consent. Tibet had a system permitting polyandry (having multiple husbands/men simultaneously); I think this was generally “fraternal polyandry”, where the men were brothers and the aim was to avoid dividing family land and other assets on marriage (this system may not have been limited to Tibet). Though accepted legally in those societies, I cannot say how common polygyny/polyandry was/is.
@steffihaas7490 Like she said, roughly 80% of them allowed polygyny (the taking of multiple wives/concubines) in some form. The most successful among them had stricter rules or less common polygyny, however a massive proportion of primitive societies (such as Mongols or Madagascan tribes) engaged in habitual polygamy where a small proportion of men kept all the women, and the rest of the men were killed off in tribal conflicts.
I really appreciate her retort to the woke-fem complaint about unwanted workplace sexual attention while at the same time claiming sex work is just work. We need to think clearly like this as a culture.
I didn't think that was logical, I mean it goes with the job description (even though some job descriptions leave it vague as to the extra tasks a boss can ask you to do)
@@kaivogel253 Nah, we all need less of your incapacity to grapple with complexity and nuance. And your juvenile fits, we definitely need less of that too. Your toxicity too, we need less of that. In fact, the world would be a much better place if you weren't here. But you are, what can we do.....
I've heard her on another podcast blaming our present day woes on high status, attractive "Hugh Hefners", her words, for "consuming women", seemingly oblivious to the fact that if these women were not willing, they could not be "consumed". She may espouse some conservative-sounding views, but Louise Perry is still a men-are-to-blame-for everything feminist at heart. Zero accountability for women.
I grew up in the 80s. I hung around two women that were very promiscuous. I never questioned their activity, and they never questioned my lack of They ended up alright. They both are in very successful marriages and are grandmothers.
Can’t and won’t argue with that statement…”scary” is the bare-bones-baseline staring point, meaning at the VERY LEAST it is scary, and cringe to imagine the cliff it falls off from there?
@@janetappmeyer7483 I am not buying that. You are seeing "success" from the "female lens" which is extremely distorted. The fact that they have had "successful marriages" means absolutely nothing. Did their husbands search them? Did they scan their workplace, their friendly environment for signs of cheating? Did they DNA test the kids? Or should I investigate the husbands themselves? Maybe they are just cucks. It is pointless saying that "I know 2 promiscuous women that went on to have successful marriages". Promiscuous women are notorious for selecting cuck husbands, this is a known fact since even before the sexual revolution. Back in reality, while a promiscuous woman may undergo a change of heart and change her ways, that is rather the exception and not the rule. A promiscuous woman has multiple times of a higher chance to cheat in a marriage. Hence, the fact that these women have had "successful marriages" refers only to their ability to manage their marriage in a way that sustained it. It says absolutely nothing about how "successful" was the marriage for their husbands. If they are cucks, or if they just resigned to "it is cheaper to keep her than divorce her", we just don't know. All we know is that the started their marriages, already defeated for having married promiscuous women.
I was born in 1950. I could sense something amiss with women’s liberation from the beginning. My mother had to go to work when I was about 8 years old due to my dad’s illness. Mother’s absence from the home was a personal tragedy to me. It had been such a joy to come home from school, smell something wonderful cooking in the kitchen and get a mother hug. Instead, after that, I found myself anxious at the end of the day, fearing that something would happen to her before she could arrive home from work. I have heard that women’s lib was dreamed up by someone in government who not only wanted to increase the tax base, but cause children to be forced into government sponsored educational situations at a much earlier age. Now it seems in some ways women have less choice than ever. Most have been forced into the workplace because now it takes two incomes to support most families. The other downfall is that most have been convinced by the culture that they have to submit to sexual sin before marriage if they want to be considered normal.Has anyone noticed, as a result, that there are far fewer love songs these days? They have been replaced by vulgar lyrics which often have nothing to do with actual love. It is a much colder world now than the one I knew in my early years.
Thanks to feminism your mother could work and support the family. I was born in 1962. My father cheated on my mother and finally divorced him. She also went back to work. Understanding life didn't have me wanting mommy to make dinner as I knew she had to work to be able to look after me.
@@wyleecoyotee4252 great for you, I guess you're a better and more enlightened person than I am and you are not foolish enough to be overly attached to your maternal unit. I missed my mother because the trauma of losing my father made me much more afraid of losing Mother, too. I knew the highway to the city where she worked was dangerous. I also knew that her boss was lecherous and her job hung by a thread. She was sad and stressed and she needed me as much as I needed her. Besides that my mother had vulnerable health. I think up to a certain point women's liberation was a good thing. People should get equal pay for equal performance. Every citizen should have the right to vote. But like any other good cause, it can be taken to an extreme. I've seen the changes in society since the 50s. Some are very good. Black people finally began getting the respect they deserve. On the other hand, many things began to suffer when most women did not have the option to stay home, as the economy changed in a way that most families these days require two incomes. Where at one time most old people had family assistance because someone was available to care for them. Pets did not have to stay isolated for full days at the time. Children were safer because someone was home when they came home from school. (I could go into detail about my own experience, but I won't.) It was not such a hurried, hectic world with everyone rushing to get to places on time.
@@wyleecoyotee4252 Erm, women worked before feminism. Women were bakers, housemaids, factory workers, shop owners, retail assistants, business owners, seamstresses, pub owners, barmaids, and much, much, more. At least know your history before making such a ridiculous statement.
@@peachesandcream8753 Women weren't allowed to own any property or businesses, or borrow money, not until after the 1950's. All they could get were low paying jobs and just get by. They did not have options to be educated towards lucrative jobs. You are the one who should check your history
I think it’s not just feminism, it’s extended lifespans and also living in the most peaceful time in history. Humans evolved with men dying in large numbers in war and women dying in large numbers giving birth. Society is still adjusting to these two major changes.
Good point. The average marriage length in history for those reasons was about a fifth of how long mine has lasted! We have few models for very long marriage.
@@sisiphas maybe there are more examples among royalty? You can’t blame women for being hypergamous because choose wrong and you’re a widow because your husband is a dead man walking and same goes for men wanting women who are young and healthy because choose wrong and you’re a widower because your wife is dead after the first baby if she can have a baby at all.
Yeah, but it is mostly to do with the contraceptive pill. 150 years ago, a fertile married woman would be more-or-less permanently pregnant from 16 to 40. By the time their youngest kid has become independent, they would have been approaching death.
Profoundly refreshing. So, so grateful for this episode. Phew. There are still people who sincerely want to find an objective path for *everyone's* benefit. Whenever I hear people who have renounced taking sides etc - it's food for the soul. Also, I'm going to buy Louise Perry's book now. Sincere intention and courage deserve and need encouragement, as well as support. Bravo. 👏👏👏👏 🔥🔥🔥🔥 P.S Louise - please narrate the audiobook of your book. Speaking as a voice actor, I think only actors should narrate novels. I just went straight to Audible as I'd rather hear your narrate your book. Ah well! Will buy the Kindle version instead. You've got a good voice for it too, give it some consideration!
Listening to this podcast episode was wonderful. It's so relieving and refreshing to hear logical (and what should be common sense in many cases) perspectives on these topics (especially as an American woman since these perspectives are more taboo where I'm from for some reason). I also learned a bit about the male perspective in regards to this subject, which I found to be really interesting. There is this growing divide and resentment I've been witnessing between the sexes, and this podcast presented some great explanations as to why that is. I'm hoping this downhill trajectory in society, especially with newer generations, can be reversed, and conversations like these a critical part of that healing process. I'll be checking out more of your podcast in the near future. Great work!
She's come to the proper conclusion based on reason. That's wonderful. I hope that one lesson she, and others, will take away from this is that morals, which bring one to the same conclusion, are also based on reason! People will dismiss moral arguments, out of hand, but they'll expect to be listened to, even celebrated, for coming to the exact same conclusions via their reason. Folks, live a moral life. You'll have a better time, overall.
Goodness, I wish this had been around and that I had listened to it ten years ago. Could have saved myself so much pain and time. Conversations like these are so important.
I really think that your podcast is going to be one of the best. You can see every tiny detail that you worked on since you began to perfect this. Great work man.
Over and over I keep hearing her say the same kind of thing a dozen times. She's not a Christian, and she's not Conservative, but she believes that the Christian Conservatives are right. Not only that, but she admits that the spreading of Judeo-Christian morals was radically unique and miraculous, and brought about freedoms through standards which protected women and empowered women, and that the divorce from Christian values has become disastrous for women. Who would have guessed this would happen? Literally almost every other Bible believer and pulpit preacher did.
Love this conversation so much, this message needs to be spread everywhere. I'm tired of this woke feminism culture so much. Seeing intelligent people like you start the conversations gives me hope to this declining world. I'm in the US and can't wait to read your book Louise. Please keep doing this awesome job. Thanks Chris for bringing her to your podcast.
This message has been spread for ages by the Bible, apart from the nonsense at the end where she said women should wait 3 months to give it up. Sex should be confined to marriage.
feminism comes from some serious abuses Thats a pretty fucked up thing to hear from those of us who (literally millions) were raped as children by fathers and step fathers.. for me it was age 2-14. Most women I meet have a similar story... never were allowed to be virgins... what would you say to them??
@Karen Haggard - I would say I'm very sorry that you and other women have had to live through such horrors. I don't think the solution to such bad behaviour by men is feminism, though. I believe the solution is biblical patriarchy, where such evil and wicked men are dealt with accordingly.
Me too. I’m also really upset that I kind of bought into when I was very young (late teens to very early twenties). I now have some horrible degrading memories because I thought I had to force myself to be the cool modern woman. The pure shame and sorrow feels overwhelming sometimes.
@Blondie - So sorry to hear. The good news is you've done the hardest part, which is acknowledging your past mistakes. All the best for the future! Spread the word to other young women.
Been waiting, waiting, waiting for the discussion to turn to sexless marriage, the weaponization of divorce and it's impact on men turning away from involvement with women. Chris, please interview Bettina Arndt to bring that dynamic into play. Please.
This is so depressing - I have a 16 and 13 year old and I'm so sad for their future and I have no idea how to steer them through this mess we've created
@@charlieweaver6322 girl 16 and boy 13. I grew up in the eighties so the internet/porn, only fans and dating apps etc...were non existent. I wish things were simple again for the next generation
@@lottie4321 I'm probably similar age to you, born 1981, but have no kids, only nieces and nephews. Each generation has theirs own challenges, they will no doubt be better adapted than the likes of you an I, but general principles of reality still apply. Best, I think, to try to ask them what they want, non judgementally, and let them come to their own conclusions. The Socratic method is probably best. Good luck 👍
For boys its usually an options of two binary ranges, girls mostly always land on their feet and have more than 99 lives in today's world when they had only 1 or 2 a 100 years back. Exactly why most transitions are from boy to girl. Ofcourse this is the case at this moment, things could easily flip in the next breath.
I am Catholic and I find there are still lots of healthy families at church and in Catholic schools. For example all my young adult and teen kids have best friends whose parents are still married (we have been married 26 yrd) .I know secular people won't accept it, but a loving community of people who share the same beliefs, values and rituals create a stable society and religion is most successful at reproducing that.
You have men that can't get laid, and then you have men like me who deliberately decided to opt out of the entire process. For the early portion of my adult life I had difficulties with steady employment, which made my personal requirements for starting a family ( A stable income and my own house) quite trying. Meeting and sleeping with women was by and large not incredibly difficult. Finding a woman I actually wanted to keep however, was. I seemed to attract a particular type of crazy that was exceedingly unhealthy for my self and my family members. I was engaged twice, and left at the altar both times for insisting on traditional vows. After the second time, I decided to simply focus on myself. I was blessed enough to be able to assist in the raising of my sibling's children, and now have a stable life and my own home. While I'm willing to admit that I miss the companionship, and would most likely be happier with the right woman in my life, I am by and large content with what I have.
Interesting that she points out how young girls are being taught to suppress their instincts for the sake of casual sex. I wonder if the same principle can be applied to motherhood. Motherhood and postpartum is so often talked about as some kind of prison. I'm sure it can feel that way and maybe it is for some, but it also can be something beautiful and fulfilling.
I think there are several problems here: one the hyper medicalization of pregnancy and childbirth. With most hospital facilities having a north or 30% surgical birth rate, it seems reasonable to have fears around the experience. The second is an elevation of self above all else, and the idea that fulfillment can be found in career. Lastly, there is a culture that seems almost childlike in mindset, well into adulthood.
@@OUpsychChick yes! That childlike mindset among adults you mention is something I’ve been noticing a lot lately. I used to be a school teacher and I feel like I am hearing so many grown folk struggling with the same adolescent issues that were common among my students.
What a pretty, lovely and intelligent woman. I'm glad she, and others like her, exist. She certainly paints the picture of a world in which I want my own daughter to live. The opposite of what she is saying and what she supports is a really dark world. We all know how we arrived to this moment in society and culture and it's sad.
What are they trying to achieve? What rights don't they have. I don't think the average guy benefitted from the sexual revolution much. I think the phrase "Quiet desperation" sums up my experience being in my late teens and early 20's.
The average guy didn't benefit at all. I do feel for women in the past that felt they had to settle for someone they didn't really want though. Human nature is that women are a lot more picky than men, which makes sense, they effectively select the best genes to reproduce
The ultimate goal is for women to become men, minus the accountability. I think the only men that benefitted from the sexual revolution were the rich and powerful with their weird proclivities. Think John money and Alfred Kinsey-they were degenerates that wanted their perversions to be accepted as natural and they succeeded. But in terms of the average man this has been a disaster. I don’t recall where I heard this but a recent poll showed that 40% of American men did not want to get married and it’s no wonder. The scales are absolutely out of the average man’s favor.
"My husband and I are both Powerlifters.." didn't see that coming.. I'm glad she touched on the explosion of "rape" allegations on college campuses being related to women having drunken gross sex and feeling bad about it..thats something that you could never mention but seems so obviously a factor...I hope people read her book! This was a good conversation.
I burst out with uncontrollable laughter after she completed talking about quasi consensual sex and you encouraged her with an enthusiastic “you nailed it”
"The only person to blame is the man"...she chose to go back to his place with him. Women have yet to learn the concept of personal responsibility for their actions. No internal locus of control. That is one underlying issue, and it needs addressing urgently. Disney and feminism+social media have been utterly toxic on this.
My truest happiness came when my kids arrived. Yes they are a burden at times and yes they cost on all fronts and yes you sacrifice certain life options but the love and purpose is phenomenal.
"Traditional sexual norms existed to control both young women's and young men's sexuality," and "There's no conspiracy. No one is enforcing it. We're all responding to incentives as individuals" are two of my favorite statements that Perry made in this, that are maybe the opposite of typical feminism. All of traditional society wasn't set up to oppress women and benefit men, and there isn't a modern day patriarchal conspiracy, either. Doesn't mean that women weren't targeted for oppression in certain ways (and men in others). There are bigger forces at play, and men and women are mostly in it together. These are much more healthy, nuanced conversations to have.
Basically it results in the subjugation of lower class women, in an effort to “protect” against men. Instead of curtailing those responsible and holding them to a higher standard we lowered the bar for everyone.
the bit about dating apps being a commodified version of sex and relating that to consumerism at large -- mind blowing. Also love the term luxury beliefs and that very nuanced, nested set of propositions! Can’t wait to read this book
Best RUclips video I’ve ever seen. Thanks so much. So heartwarming and wonderful. Have been telling folks these things for years and no one listened (I’m a millennial too) and so great to see this duo echo the same things so articulately and searingly.
Women may well no longer need men for anything at all. But children need fathers. I know this from countless occasions in my own personal experience. Children who have a happy relationship with their father behave completely differently to children who have no father when interacting with myself. The difference is so striking that a complete layman cannot fail to see the difference. School teachers have reported such differences for decades.
I think for many men, porn is a correlation, not causation for lack of significant relationships. The dismal dating scene and with all WOmen desiring the top 10%, leaves the other 90% of men alone and satisfying needs as users of the porn knuckle shuffle.
The "blackpill model" is perhaps the way the sexual market place works and the dating/mating space we see.... However what ppl fail to realise is that if u are left to the MARKET ITSELF and the WIDER WORLD.....then you will mostly find yourself competing with just your SMV and no social proof, the results of with can be BTUTAL.....lol But if one has access to a social circle.....then what SOCIAL CIRCLES are.....are mini closed off worlds...... With a set number of individuals inside it. And as it is a tribe like setting with a DISTINCT human/social fabric......it is more "MERCIFUL" to the participants within its Safety net.... The social circle humanises the members and makes ppl mean MORE to each other then just raw SMV... That is perhaps how offy dooffy operates. And as women are naturally emotional thinkers can attach themselves to guys that have the time and platform to prove thier other interpersonal/emotional skills......this is what the social circle provides. It works to HUMANISE its participants. Where as the modern world/dating market works to DEHUMANISE its participants. Ppl will argue AGAINST the social circle maxing... BECAUSE so many ppl don't have a social circle anymore or have never had. Peace x
When there are highly realistic sex robots in the future, the feminists will push strongly for a ban, knowing that many men would be largely satisfied, with far less incentive to shuffle their resources into the pockets of women.
Obviously... A healthy man doesn't need any porn when he's in a stable relationship. But when men are completely invisible to women, they inevitably become either simps, incels or MGTOWs... and porn remains the only access to female nudity they have...
Women are doing great in the ways that don’t make them happy long term and in fact harm their long term interests. Congratulations. Way to go, girl. Crush the men you’re going to need later.
And don’t you dare tell them that, or they’ll bring up past ills that happened generations ago that they have never experienced. They think it’s just punishment for young boys of today to suffer for the sins of four generations past, while their cognitive dissidence allows them to forget that it’s their own sons who they’re speaking of…that deserve punishment
@@LuckysLair folks don’t seem to understand what happens when they punish the undeserving. On a completely unrelated note, what’s up with that 30% of men who haven’t had sex???
45:00 A man getting his shit together used to be an incentive for sexual access secured in marriage. In this day and age, however, more and more men experience little to no sex after marriage. So it really is a lose-lose for them. In essence, modern marriage is truly the most expensive form of chastity. If a man wants sexual access, he should engage in long-term dating, but never get married. Long-term dating offers significantly more legal shelter from the (rather biased) family court system, as well.
Genuinely good point. Wives were once encouraged to make sure their husband's sexual needs were met. Now that's become another thing that's seen as absurd and old fashioned so the husband's desires just go ignored only they're now tied to one lady so can't go elsewhere without risk of being caught and losing everything in a divorce. I've never really understood the woman's perspective here. Is it really so hard to make sure your husband isn't desperate? Wasn't part of the deal to try and meet eachother's needs on eachother's terms? Obviously a man can't expect sex on demand just because he is married, but marriage granted sexual access to men in the past whereas today your sexual access decreases in most cases.
@@zeno2501 I honestly don't believe the majority of women have the capacity to understand the importance of sex to a male. For us, it's a curious mix of appetite, power, desire, and the amazing experience of a woman essentially saying, "You are worthy to partner with me and [possibly] bear my children." In a way that's difficult to put into words, it's an experience of acceptance and worthiness. Also, since sexual desire isn't as strong for most women, they don't see how terrible it is to deny it.
@@zeno2501 I can explain part of what happens to some women, although I can't say its everyone. Women need build up. Husbands stop DATING their wives. They already "got" her, so when they want some they just paw at her with no warning. Build. Sexual. Tension! Over a day! Don't forget how to FLIRT.
I don't like how he said that things like red pill are coping mechanisms for sexless men, or something like that. There are plenty of men of differing status who rail against the biased courts and who criticize women. These days any problem you have with women automatically means you're an incel. I think it has to do with what she said about women's intuition, that if you can't get a girl, then there must be something wrong with you, or you need to get your act together. I'm no catch myself but I've seen far better men than me get the exact same treatment, so I know the women's intuition thing is BS. There nothing wrong with saying that women can be just as bad as men.
I've always felt that hookup culture was a lie since day 1. I could use a vibrator and get the same if better results. For me it's about connecting with my partner and they're trying to tear that down
i feel the same way. then men i've hooked up with out of committed relationships NEVER satisfied me like a simple vibrator did. participating in hookup culture was an absolute scam and i'm disgusted with the people who promoted it and still do. soulless demons.
The majority of women don't orgasm from a one night stand. But... the majority of women who have one ONS will do it again. Sexual validation must be a factor, because satisfaction doesn't explain it. Women seem to "break" themselves with casual sex. They sleep with higher status men than they could get to commit to them, and that experience will poison any committed relationship they try to have. It devalues the man.
It's really nice to hear intelligent, open and thoughtful conversation about this stuff. The rhetoric I see and hear on most days is horrible, and there is no space to talk about it normally.
We ? We being who ? We men and center right and libertarian leaning saw it all along. Post modernist politics pushed through feminism since 1964. Here are the DISASTROUS RESULTS.
50% of marriages end in divorce and thats only the people that have the guts to leave. It doesn't work. we need to face it. the top guys should get the women.
The best part about monogamy is that it allows women to voice their want for stability for their children and their preference for mates and combine it and harness men's ambition.
And contrary to popular belief married people are having the most regular sex and are more satisfied with their sex lives than single people. I hope she puts the results of those studies in her book. Young people are being lied to.
@@viviennedunbar3374 Because male nature is polygamous, there's a natural understanding that a man may never repoduce. Therefore males gain happiness from their mission irregardless of relationship status.
...but ..... monogamy was forced on society by priests.... male celibate priests ... and the choice if the husbandcwas made by the family of the bride ... she had no say throughout the centuries. Fatherly and priest controlled Monogamy should not be viewed through sweet pink glasses .... it has as many positives as negatives.
I loved this interview. I'm left inclined, socialist from a big feminist family. She synthesized what i was somehow intuiting. She is very intteligent with a really nuanced and complex review of the topic. Really lovely here intelligence.
"You're so fit you should be on only fans" - This is a tragic state of a affairs that there is a guy out there who thinks at any level of consciousness that a women would take that as a compliment.
i recently read some dating "advice" that suggested it was best to focus on "tonality" in dates.... literally another way of saying "don't have a monotone". THAT was the advice? ffs....
@@laurendearnley9595 It’s honestly depressing. If you’d like to know the psychology behind it, it’s women whose value has only been boil to her perceived attractiveness. That being said, when her attractiveness and therefore her value as a human being is purely based off of how sexually alluring she is, if he was empowering to her when she’s told something like this. It’s honestly really sad.
Along with the expectations that women should be sexually aggressive and promiscuous, there is an expectation from men within marriages that their female partner’s sexual appetite should always match the men with no rise and fall around life event like pregnancy, childbirth, child rearing, breastfeeding, menopause etc which means women are left feeling inadequate when they have entirely natural and evolutionarily necessary patterns in libido. It has gotten to the point where women with a libido that doesn’t match their male partner’s are expected to pursue medication and treatment as though their is something medically wrong with them for not having male sexual behavior! It’s quite sickening.
![Lethal Company Music Video 🎵 "Follow The Orders" [VERSION A]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/QeooZB4Z7RA/mqdefault.jpg)
Hello you beauties. Get the free Reading List of my 100 favourite books here - chriswillx.com/books/
Here’s the timestamps:
00:00 Intro
00:17 Reactions to Louise’s Book
04:38 What’s Wrong with the Sexual Revolution?
11:15 Challenging the Idea of ‘Progress’
21:01 Invention of the Pill
27:48 Dynamics of Modern Dating & Marriage
33:55 Explaining Sexual Disenchantment
43:08 The Argument for Celibacy Before Marriage
50:44 Why is Loveless Sex Empowering?
1:04:56 Louise’s Findings on Porn
1:16:09 Exploitation of the Sex Drive
1:25:37 How to Act Against the Sexual Revolution
1:30:58 Where to Find Louise
15:00 p0rn can be identified as a root cause of some societal dysfunction
Beauties, lol... that was cute 🙂
@B Perez Rather than calling each other names, why don’t you constructivey explain what is better about today than 50 years prior.
For a follow up for this I'd try & get an interview with the author's of 'Sex At Dawn' Christopher Ryan &/or Cacilda Jetha! Mostly because they adress the long term evolutionary biological historical sexuality from the dawn not just prior to the Agricultural revolution around 10,000BC.
In the video you claim that a "healthy" man is extremely jealous by nature and would not let other men sleep with his girlfriend/wife.
But there are also cultures like in Tibet where women often have multiple spouses. The old tradition also has economic reasons and ensures the survival of the people there. Your opinion about this?
There is nothing casual about casual sex. Women also encouraging other women to sleep around and not catch feelings is absolutely absurd also! Glad that you guys are talking about this topic as it's a huge issue for both men and women in the world!
How did this happen? In the past other women will burn you alive if you were easy, now they do the opposite :D
High bodycount damages the ability of women to pairbond but the internet and men don't help things spending on average 90 minutes a day with online dating sites, half of that spent messaging women with a third of men not get a single date for their effort. That's a ton of narc inducing validation and simping.
Plot twist - its actually men that write those articles
@@wujekstalin1 Plot twist - you're the ones who bought into it 😂. Not just because you secretly wanted it, but also because you're looking for someone else to blame once it's not so convenient for you anymore. And here we are, us laughing with the consequences of your actions 😂😂😂. And I'm using "you" as a figure of speech.
@@justsomeguywithoutamustang6436 What?
As a virgin waiting for marriage, I’m considered the weird one in society nowadays! But ironically I get so much respect from both men and women and many have told me they wish they did that or had waited.
Fellow virgin here. I get seen a weird or “religiously indoctrinated” for holding onto my virginity for dear life until marriage. I don’t want to engage into the try before you buy as the risk is too high for a boy to pump and dump me. My children will be better off with one father and I will not damage my health by engaging in anti contraceptive measures either. There is also the MGTOW movement going on where guys complain about girls devaluing themselves by having a high body count but the same guys also shy away from you if sex is not on the table from the get go. What a contradictory world we live in.
Good for you!! My husband and I both waited until marriage. I promise , it’s worth it.
You're definitely not weird. Good for you. I believe theres alot of ppl in the world that wish they were virgins again
You are sniffing some strong copium. They would all do it again.
That’s not weird, almost like a jackpot for your future man ;)
The less men women had the better (men prefer it and studies showed that relationships are stronger and longer)
At the beginning of the interview, Louise mentioned articles about teaching women how not to develop feelings with their sexual partners and I have to say that I did read a similar piece on Vice a few years back and it really blew me away. I simply could not compute the amount of cognitive dissonance that is required to think such thoughts, let alone sharing them as advice! I remember clearly the writer of the article saying that she wanted to find a way to stop falling in love with guys that she HATED without ever acknowledging that the problem was in the premise. Why would anyone have sex with someone that they hate? I still can't figure out what kind of thought process would lead you there and even to go further down that road by wanting to repeat the experience... this is madness! Just find someone who's proper and learn to judge their character first rather than fucking with anybody and then acting like you're a victim of your normal and healthy biological functions.
There are many things at play here but I think that this decoupling of sex from responsibility is what has led to this new eternal adolescent syndrome where most young adults fall unto this vacuous hedonistic quest because not only is it socially/culturally encouraged but it's also facilitated by the fact that most young people (especially millenials) are extremely cynic about love because we grew up in broken families with parents who were the first victims of this sexual revolution. How far are we going to stray from a working model just because we aren't prepared to put the effort to save our couples and families? Just because we're doing our best to deny that about half of life is about suffering and then break up at the first sign of any hardship?
Lots of people do not love they love style instead so sex and emotion exists forever as not much more than just another behavioural game.
Absolutely true and strikes at the foundation of this nonsense. Thank you!
Pointing out the truth girlll
well said and spot on.
Absolutely agree, well done
One of the most important and painful lessons that every young woman must learn is the difference between a man who likes you and a man who desires you. They are not the same.
As painful as that is, it's so hard to ascertain that in today's interactions with men 😔✨️
This is a very wise comment.
One tries to see you for who you are while the other sees you as what you are?
It definitely takes time, practice, and patience.@@jadehalliday6636
pretty sure most women can tell, the key is not using the opportunity to get fucked if she also has desire
I think the conversation needs to evolve to the point where, instead of justifying any and all behavior as "progress" and "freedom," there is a recognition that certain behaviors do not benefit most people no matter how "progressive" they seem.
I think its to evolve to a point where conservatives do SOMETHING to actually progress and the liberal minded need to learn to appropriately manage their liberalism.
This because we repressed ourselves in an extreme and violent way or a long time and wouldn't budge. That creates exponential clawback.
maybe something there for all of the partisan hacks wether they be woke or born again
Are you gonna let them do them though?
@@tomwright9904
I would be fine letting them do them, if they would let others do what they want as well. Sadly, that is not the case. These people are everywhere in education, the news media and the government, which gives them control of the information people get and how children are taught in schools. They get to do them, and we are forced to play along lest we get labeled as "Nazis" for pointing out the negative aspects of this behavior, or simply not wanting to take part. Ive read articles posted by mainstream news organizations that blatantly said that NOT wanting to sleep with a trans person was transphobic. Basically saying that trans people are the only ones that get to choose who they fuck. Everybody else just has to shut up and do what they are told. How nice.
The revenge of the Hegelian dialectic is upon us.
walking forward to the abyss is still progress.
we need to realize not all progress is for the better
I am sending this to everyone I can. Every time I bring up these points in conversations I wanted a podcast that summarized everything to make it more digestible. Thanks Chris!
Yep this is the one. This is the one I've been searching for for years.
Everytime I talk about this even in the Christian community, I get shot down as an incel, just great. But maybe because there’s a lady talking about it, they’ll actually listen.
Episodes like this make me more optimistic about the future - the fact that we're having these conversations. I hope to make a channel that encourages the same constructive conversations. Great topic choice Chris!
Agreed, it's becoming the norm to be against modern feminism and I'm all for it mate
Muslim women wear the hijab in public but they do also shop at Victoria secret, for their husband at home.
There are other ppl out there, that wear Victoria's secret in PUBLIC and at home tell their boy friends/"partners" to go ..........
That could be one difference
Peace x
These conversations obviously make sense but most people are too stupid or angry to take the information on board.
@@kamrudkd I don't think we need to become an Islamic State in order to somewhat reverse the sexual revolution.
@Wei Li yes, i think i heard it on one of Chris' episodes where the guest made the point that things won't change until men but mainly young women see monogomy, children and marriage as the cool thing to aspire to.
This cycle is something that has to play itself out and will take decades.
3:16: 📚 The speaker discusses their book on the problems with the sexual revolution, highlighting differences between men and women and the negative impacts of casual sex and pornography.
12:00: 📚 The speaker discusses the impact of the sexual revolution on women and challenges the notion of progress in relation to feminism.
16:04: 🔑 The discussion highlights the differences in sexual disgust threshold between men and women, the impact of these differences on sexual relationships, and the consequences of the pill and technological advancements on gender dynamics.
23:32: 🤔 The speaker discusses the physical and psychological differences between men and women, highlighting the profound physical differences and the potential for cultural influence on psychological differences.
31:13: 🔄 Sexual disenchantment is the idea that sex has lost its special meaning and become a mere social interaction, but in reality, people still attach significance to sex.
39:01: 🔍 The discussion explores the pressure women feel to engage in emotionless sex and the role of consent in framing these experiences.
46:14: 🔍 The conversation discusses the societal changes that have led to more men being absent fathers and the acceptance of single motherhood, as well as the emotional attachment and instincts associated with sex and reproduction.
55:00: 📢 The speaker discusses the impact of OnlyFans on women, highlighting the challenges and risks they may face.
1:06:06: 💭 The online porn industry is profit-driven and uses algorithms to create a super stimulus, leading to addictive and extreme consumption. Some men develop erectile dysfunction and struggle to have real-life sexual experiences.
1:09:14: 😮 The speaker discusses the contradiction between the increase in explicit sex scenes in media and the decrease in actual sexual activity, and explores the impact of porn on sexual culture and attitudes.
1:16:50: 💬 The speaker discusses the disconnect between the left's prioritization of tearing down bourgeois sexual norms and the negative consequences of disconnecting sex from reproduction.
1:24:55: 📚 The speaker discusses the need for more critical thinking and less polarization in political discourse, and suggests that women should delay having sex to assess a partner's intentions.
1:32:00: 🎙 The speaker thanks the audience for tuning in and encourages them to check out the best clips from the podcast and subscribe.
Recap by Tammy AI
thank you for footnoting sections for replaying and further reviewing the interview.
"casual sex is bad lemme just tart myself up with massive makeup to be as alluring as possible before talking about this"
@neglectfulsausage7689 Makeup is not exclusively for attracting and mate selection. Also, young people (generally) mock and disregard the words of the visably aged, and the infirm.
Old people are for stealing from, not hearing from @@princekermit0
@neglectfulsausage7689 @neglectedusage: what is it exactly that makes you believe tarting yourself up makes you more attractive to men?
I wish i had know this at 16, growing up in Denmark where abortion have long been normalized and the sexual revolution is old news.. Being so confused about my own feelings and denying my inability to just "have sex like men" and wishing to get married one day, to a kind man, and the disconnect from reality this "freedom" is, along side getting sold the disney fantasy of meeting a man who will sweep me of my feet and love me forever..
I'm now 34, single mum of two, the father pissed off years ago, and have no contact to his kids, his choice.. i've really had to learn the hard way, that my system isn't build for this kind of thing, it's been detrimental to my mental health as a young woman.. i hate that all the norms are gone, i feel it's imposible and heartbreaking, to navigate dating..
With online dating, and the normalization of emtionless "puplic" sex, this is only getting worse, i pity the young women getting sold this lie, so that assholes can make a ton of money on their bodies.. and i pity the young men left with no drive and no feeling of what a real connection can do for your quality of life.. i'm so glad the internet wasn't around when i was growing up..
Living in a very woke world, and feeling like somethings fundamentally wrong with this.. Thank you for stating why it feels so wrong, when all the arguments off personal "freedom" are really good, and putting my feelings in to comprehensive words, backed up with sience😊 I'll try to raise my kids with this knowledge in mind❤
It's probably better he pissed all the way off. I allowed my ex to still see our son and now my ex at age 40 has decided he's really a woman and has started hormone treatments. Fine example of a man for our boy. 🙄🙄
Ohh yeah, they are better off without him, and i'm better off not having to deal with his sorry, half criminal, explosive, non-functional a** as a co-parent😏 but i still wished i'd done better in chosing a father for my kids😏 if i had known sex too early would induse romantic feelings, i'd have had clear head and probably not cought any feelings.. so this knowledge would have been gold😊
Thats odd that you are glad that the internet wasnt around, seems like the outcomes werent different at all.
@@eddie-ni5ox i imagine it could have been even worse🙃
men can have consequence free sex now, there's no incentive to better themselves
explaining "red pill" to an elderly coworker, I told him it's a reference to the matrix where you take the red pill to get out of the comfortable and into reality. He replied, "And the blue one is viagra?"
LOL 🤣🤣🤣
Don’t talk red pill outside of the community. It should be a tool that helps you fix your own personal life it’s not the gospel.
Yes it is.
He's not wrong :-))
@@kundaigotore992 1st rule of redpill, don't talk about redpill?
Back in the days of the modern American housewife men were looked at as being horrible for cheating on their wives with their secretaries and such. The feminist movement came along and told women “hey you know that horrible thing that men regularly do by NOT being in control of themselves? why don’t we just make it OK by society standards for you to do the same thing?” Instead of calling men to a higher standard we lowered the standard for women. Great idea!
Don't even try, it was nothing like that at all.
Perfect.
Putting words in feminists mouths so you can win the argument is a perfect example of the straw man argument.
Exactly.
@@quakers200 How is her parodic quote not entirely accurate? (And, if you think parody is too much, just read her next sentence which encapsulates it perfectly in a completely descriptive way).
Pointing out an instance of parody in an eloquent comment and ignoring the rest is a perfect example of avoiding to address the point being made.
I find it interesting that society recognizes that it's *necessary* to "teach" people to "not catch feelings" -- because that very fact implies that we know that it's *unnatural* to avoid involving feelings. The fact that it has to be "overcome" is an evidence itself.
100%. The scary thing is that it's narcissistic people encouraging other people to become narcissistic. To narcissists, people are "objects" that only exist for gratification and narcissistic supply. It's disgusting.
I'm with you. Avoiding feelings never made sense to me, especially in a society that bases so much on them.
I think about how much therapy is about gaslighting certain emotions away.
feelings are a liability. Proper management of emotions is essential for mental health and performance reasons.
Sexual gratification is only one of the fields. In a professional environment, you also cannot make decisions emotionally or let emotions dictate your interactions with other people. Think about an airline pilot, a professional scuba diver, a tank battalion commander.
@@svr5423 Certainly feelings can be a liability in certain situations, and being able to manage emotions is essential. But we're specifically talking about *intimate relationships*. It's unnatural to have an intimate relationship with someone, and not have feelings involved.
That's a totally different situation from piloting a plane or commanding a military battalion.
I’m 46 years old, never had a girlfriend and never had a date in my whole life. I never thought my life would turn to be this way, it was never my plan to become an incel and live on my own from the age of 22. I’ve seen and learnt a lot over the years, and when it comes to interacting with women i realised how futile my efforts are and how worthless my heart is. When you’re not worth a second glance from a woman, that’s when you know your value and your place. I know i will die a lonely and childless old man one day, but that’s ok, i have accepted that long time a go. Now i just live my life in peace, i have everything i need, i keep fit and healthy ( i have my own gym at home), i’ve traveled around Europe (by myself) and seen many awesome places, i work hard and i make the most of my life as it is. Yes, i am an incel but i don’t hate nobody, i have absolutely no intention in hurting/killing anybody and i don’t resent anybody. I just simply live my life in peace, just got back from two weeks holiday abroad and planning on buying my self a new car soon. Life goes on anyway. The complete lack of female involvement in my life and an involuntarily lifestyle of solitude has taught me that my happiness does not depend on a women, it depends on me.
Do you think if you agreed to provide for a woman and all your children together, it would help you get a woman? Or do you not want to be used like that?
Sir might I suggest going international. you will find somebody, as beauty standards vary all over the world.
Former incel here, there are reasons for being an incel. 30% of men who identify as an incel have some type of autism. If you're not in that category, it might be one or all of the following:
Low career status
Out of shape
Socially awkward
Do any of these things match with you?
Thank you for sharing your story. I'm happy you've found peace
@@cholokori7432
One major obstacle and then, one problem:
me with a woman - my brain simply can not comprehend such fantastical and out of this world hypothetical.
There are many problem with dating a single mother, let alone marrying one. No point in listing them here because will be here for a long time. But before even getting to that point, i can’t help it thinking that i’ve been completely ignored by women all my life. A woman wanting me now, just as insane as that sounds to me, especially a single mother, i believe they’re only interested in the safe and secure life i can offer. I don’t want to sound harsh or cruel but i’m no charity worker for any woman. I apologise if that sounds arrogant or somehow even vengeful, but try and put yourself in my shoes. All these years nobody wanted me, why would anybody, especially a single mother want me now? It’s not me they would want, but rather what i can provide for them. But none of these matter anyway, because, like i said, any scenario which involves me and a woman is absolutely incomprehensible to me. I don’t stress myself with such fiction and i’m not going to start today. At no point my life gave me even the slightest hint that such mythology can become reality.
41:05 "They feel sexual disgust, they feel shame, they feel these deep painful emotions and the only person to blame sometimes is the man." Ladies and gentleman, welcome to feminism 101.
exactly 🤦♂️
That's true...it is. And I'm not suprised if rape allegations will get higher because of it! I wish tho that our bodies were left out from ads and that the sexual objectification of us stopped on social media etc and porn stopped or at least you have to identify your self everytime on any pornsite as 18 at least. No children or youth should se that. It changes your view on men and sex.
Social media kills and influencer are a sad business and dehumanising.
Yes, “World Ends Tomorrow - Women and Children most affected.” Men’s sites sum it up as, “Women want the advantages of being a man, the privileges of being a woman, and the responsibility of a child.” The whole idea is that women were oppressed by men while the reality is women and men were oppressed by a few powerful men. Women got the vote, but avoided the draft. Women got better educated and better jobs, but they still expect a mate to make more than they do. Women want equal pay for equal work, but avoid most of the difficult and dangerous work. Gradually, feminism is liberating ... men from women. Men have looked at the rules of the game and are deciding not to play. Turns out it is really men who need women like a fish needs a bicycle. I’m glad I was dating and got married in the 80s but now I worry for my boys. Don’t want to discourage them from marriage but not sure the obvious risk is worth the potential reward.
Yeah, it is not just sex though. Anything and everything that is challenging, even slightly, to a woman, is blamed on men. That is the drive of feminism always. Transfer all responsibility off women and onto men. All responsibility.
She's so damn judgemental. Like some people just like wham bam thank you mam/sir, chill out
When she was talking about powerlifting and how a novice can lift more than she does after years of training, I could totally relate. I'm a sports climber for over 15 years now and many times there a new male climbers that after 6months or so of climbing, can do the same grade as I (not all the time and the style of the route matters, but still...).
sammmme i remember reading a stat saying male upper bodies are on average 4 times as strong as womens.
That’s good that you admit that. Some people can be too proud to recognize and acknowledge that.
When did women ever get the hubris to imagine themselves as something other than physically inferior to men?
It is obvious that men are physically much stronger than women, How anyone dares to deny that? It's crazy. That's why they do all the construction works, Moving houses, they go to the Wars etc One of their societal and biological mission is protection, to protect us and the children 💪
@@Mr.Honest247 True. If we can all acknowledge our own limitations, we can learn from each other and compete logically. For example, there are categories of weight in boxing because one is not necessarily more impressive than another. A boxer could be middleweight, and top of his game in his country. But pair him with a heavyweight, that would've been a different fight. Not to say he would lose, per say, because he could've been quicker [etc.], but it would just be a different fight, in which neither boxer, fighting with someone of another category, would be displayed at their best. Male sports often have divisions to showcase the best of a large variety. Any athlete, engineer, etc, of outstanding skill, still has outstanding skill, whether female or male. Recognising individual merit is the way forward.
"so focused on a somewhat imaginary enemy that they can't interrogate the coherence of their own views" brilliant line, and this can be applied to so much in life ❤
Pretty sure that that describes projection.
A key takeaway from this conversation is that social norms exist for a reason. A society is a system, and for a system to function most efficiently it can’t get too bogged down with layers upon layers of complex, arbitrary, or confusing social rules.
Gender “fluidity” and the introduction of multiple gender pronouns, and the expectation that we can no longer ever assume a person’s pronouns is a perfect example of this idea of bogging down a system with inefficiency. Social conventions have always been complex enough in the office and in the dating arena, but adding this new layer of rules that includes its own, enforced social penalties and punishments, should anyone violate them, is IMHO a really bad idea.
There is a reason why the most popular and enduring games have simple sets of established rules. Imagine if it was decided that the rules of Chess were now fluid, and the types of moves each piece could make were arbitrary according to the whims of the players - “the King is now a Queen, sorry, deal with it!”
It doesn’t require much imagination to see how that would destroy the game and result in total chaos on the board. It really seems that some people desperately want this sort of outcome for American society, and I think all of us should question and interrogate their true motives.
people are not chess pieces and society is not a chessboard. social change does not occur on a chessboard. the rules of chess have evolved for centuries, people have argued about every rule and it is played differently depending on where you are and what time period. comparing a single board game to society is inadequate because there have been other board games before and since chess. we routinely throw entire sets of rules out and create new ones or amend old rules. also, in chess, when any pawn reaches the other side of the board it can be turned into any other piece. on a whim. lol.
The point being made is a perfectly fair and valid one. Delving this far into the Chess analogy is essentially intentionally missing the point being made and is disingenuous, in my opinion. The writer of the comment clearly doesn’t believe chess and society map 1:1, it was just one example of many that could have been chosen to make a simple point.
@@ginaritchie451 I haven't played chess since I was in primary school, and the chess analogy was not the main point of my argument. That being said (and I looked this up), the basic rules about how the pieces can move on the board have been stable since the beginning of the 19th century, including your rule about pawns reaching the other side ("pawn promotion").
An example of the types of rules that have changed more recently (2013): "bringing a phone to the playing hall may lead to a loss, an illegal move will lose the game also in rapid chess, and two illegal moves lead to a loss in classical chess." There was a subtle modification to how pawn promotion must be executed, but not to the core concept "The act of promotion may be performed in various ways: the pawn does not have to be placed on the square of arrival, removing the pawn and putting the new piece on the square of promotion may occur in any order. If an opponent’s piece stands on the square of promotion, it must be captured."
It should be obvious that these small rule changes are minor and not "revolutionary." The core rules of play on the board are stable, and no, we do not "routinely throw entire sets of rules out and create new ones" in chess (or in the legal system). Were we to do this, the game would lose all meaning, just like society would completely break down if all the rules were replaced too quickly. For an example of how disruptive it is when radicals and ideologues DO throw out well-established rules, one need only look at the impact of SCOTUS overturning Roe v. Wade.
If you want to live in a stable and peaceful society, you should want and expect change to be gradual, and not be surprised at the backlash when people try to push through foundational changes at the most basic level of social interaction, such as what pronouns we’re allowed to "assume" in our schools and workplaces or who is allowed to enter a gendered bathroom with us, with severe social and professional penalties sometimes imposed for non-compliance.
If your political position is "burn it all down," I hope you understand what that actually means IRL, and whether it's worth it.
@@RH_Factor You are absolutely right that the "chess" analogy was not my main point, but in my reply I doubled down on it since chess seems to be Gina's thing.
The *real* point is that the human brain, on average, can only handle a certain level of social complexity before social relations break down. One example is the theory of Dunbar's Number - that each person can only manage about 150 social contacts in any meaningful way. My point about the whole "pronoun" thing is that it instantly adds an entirely new layer of unnecessary complexity to literally every social interaction outside the home. If our brain's processing power has to always be devoted to this new task, other more important priorities will have to be sacrificed, and that's bad for everyone.
@@filmjazz very interesting thread filmjazz. I appreciate the research you clearly did as a counter to Gina's point. Not a common occurrence in this platform. Wish you well.
Didn’t have any sex until my honeymoon night at age 22. I had completed a tour of duty in the military and been in courtship for a year before I married my wife. I’m 55 now. No regrets.
Married at 22 as well and, yes, was a virgin on my wedding day. Feel so blessed to have been raised in a family that valued these traditional ways.
Congrats Mormon dude.
Well that was a long time ago when sex abstinence until marriage wasnt crucified like it is today. Pray for us in our 20's and 30's. We're the ones persecuted for being virgins after the age of 20.
This is interesting to watch since I was a stripper/pole dancer for over 7 years . Even though the barrier of sex /sexual acts was never crossed it did have very deep long lasting effects for me . Having to lie to myself everyday and pretend like I enjoyed dancing naked for men that were literally so gross to me did something deep down , even though I tried to separate my work brain to my ‘ real life’ brain . I can’t say I regret what I did because I did make good money and got myself in a good position now and I think I needed to learn this lesson ( I wouldn’t of seriously understood the talk we’re listening to now if I hadn’t of been through what I have ) but I would definitely not advise any young person to do what I did . It’s not a path for long term relationship health , I got lucky , 99% of my friends in that job didn’t get lucky .
@@airgin3000 I think she means that she was able to get out of it relatively unscathed and after building up a decent amount of money to be able to successfully move on. Most aren't so fortunate and end up in a downward spiral of drugs and sex work that they never get out of.
@@airgin3000 You still haven't wised up. Saying that the "men...were literally so gross" is devoid of compassion for them and for yourself. Do you imagine you were better than your audience? Why do you think they wound up there? Why did you?
@@hijodelaisla275 well they were gross
Love your transparency and honesty on this 😌
@@hijodelaisla275 Dude she doesn't have to have compassion for men who would never give such a thing in return, her judgement of those men were not wrong and that's why she got lucky. Pay attention.
Attempting for suppress the emotional attachment that arises from a sex act is no less than attempting to suppress your humanity.
LoL no
For me, sex doesn’t create an emotional attachment it just enhances what’s already there.
And it’s nowhere near as dramatic as you make it out to be with your wording.
Humanity is being suppressed. Even though i would love to be in a relationship, i am not and will not seek a relationship.
Transhuman?
Sex is not that big of a deal in my eyes. It can be a wonderful thing to share with a person you love or it can equate to masturbating with a body. As they discussed in the video, generally men don’t generate attachment from it
I bought the book right after finishing the podcast, and it arrived last night from the UK(I live in the Netherlands). It is the most revolutionary book I have read in a while. I started reading it yesterday at 21.30 and finished it today at around 15.40. I cannot describe how understood I felt, and how she confirmed what I always knew to be true. I completely related to the statement before the acknowledgements '' For the women who learned it the hard way''. All women (including myself) have been sold a lie, it's time to correct the trajectory of our destiny and stop listening to psychopathic messages pushed on us by mainstream media. Time to make a change!
Stop telling yourself and others it's the mainstream media. It's women. It's feminists. This is women getting what they wanted and learning the hard way why for millennia women were protected by fathers and husbands that gave a fuck. Women have argued for decades to be given the freedom to make their own fuck ups and have rejected the protections of good men, leaving you vulnerable to the predation of the bad ones. No sympathy for women.
womens value t men 14-23 , thats it. when u girls look at kids and say '' if they didnt make them that cute we wuldnt have them'' , its the same with men and history ''' if men didnt take wives from 14-22 up till the early 1900s and women of old where just like modern gay men with debunk uterus's who don't settle down till 30 their would be no history of marriiage anywhere in the world. much like its over today.
mans, girls and boys world today, women are merely to give out lousy customer service at their work now that the job is the sole income as a dutch date she has to become to evven date modern men who dont really have to trade down anymore or do much to get laid.
Please What’s the title of the book
@@anisb7119 It's called 'The Case against the Sexual Revolution' by Louise Perry.
I know the moment I woke up to the harms of the sexual revolution. It was the 1980s and I was still in highschool, and Germaine Greer came on TV. She looked in the camera and she said, the books I wrote about sexual liberation were for married women, not Little Girls, next time a boy said if you really loved him you'd have sex with me. You say to him, if you really loved me you'd buy me an engagement ring. These few words changed my life.
This interview reminded me of Thomas Sowell's A Conflict of Visions and how people on one side will accept and practice passed-down wisdom and traditions even if they personally can't fully articulate all the reasons for following them, while the other side sees no point in following rules when their necessity are no longer fully articulated and are simply taken on faith. I've become pretty socially conservative with age but I'm also sympathetic to the latter side as I've always been a "why" person. I just find it so sad and wasteful that by throwing away the morals and traditions of the past these problems have become pervasive in our societies and someone has to survey the damage and re-articulate the problems and the need for social enforcement of certain norms and we've circled right back around to tradition again (hopefully).
It appears the regeneration of tradition which ultimately is what works takes a staggering generation or two. It's the subsequent generations that benefit before they also repeat the cycle: degeneration, cast away everything, look back and retrieve, stabilise society.
@@hpal The problem is we pass down the solution to the problems and FORGET the problems that gave rise to the solutions. We assume everyone knows what the problems were and only need to communicate the solutions. To break the cycle we need to pass down both.
thomas sowell blows my mind
@Celia Foreman How could you not be?
To do otherwise is to not think at all. To make a judgement, is to think
We need to talk more about this. Promiscuity is damaging society ENORMOUSLY
Are you speaking of both men and women?
@@belindaanderson7540 I believe it damages both.
@@belindaanderson7540 Kind of but most men don't have the options to be promiscuous.
damaging? lol the damage is done, the wind is sown, now for the harvest
It's time for a secs strike, ladies.
I love this so much!!
I briefly tried casual sex when I was a young teenager. I thought it was what I was supposed to do. I had to get really drunk to do it and the shame and sorrow the next day was immense.
I really REALLY wish I hadn’t gone against my natural instincts but societal indoctrination and peer pressure is also a very strong force. Especially as a young woman.
Bet you still wore a mask and took your jabs though.
If you were a young teen under 18, or if you were too drunk to legally consent anyway (even if you got drunk _after deciding to have hookup sex_ ) you could take that sorrow and regret to the police and put your partners in prison.
@@AcmeRacing what does that mean?
@@saathoff1220 If she was under 18 in the United States, she was too young to legally consent to sex. If she was drunk, she could argue that she was too drunk to consent to sex. Either one would be a slam dunk if she decided, after the fact, that what she chose to do was not consensual.
Exactly the same feelings. For fellas it can be a sort of validation but casual sex just amplifies feelings of loneliness. Men aren’t really supposed to say it.
I think every young woman should listen to this video if they’re entering high school or college! I think educating young girls on this reality has historically fallen on mothers and the older women in the community, but I think it’s been lost as a cultural responsibility. I for one was never taught/warned about any of this and had to learn it the very hard way in my teens and early 20s. Spread the word!
It was women's job to teach this and always has been. As men we teach our sons how to behave and as women you teach your daughters how to behave. Women teach nurturing and men teach the truth of life.
Me too!!
I didn’t know casual sex could cause me so much shame and sorrow. It was only depicted in the media as being fun and carefree (think Samantha from Sex in the city)
@@godleveleldritchblast5257 interesting. Why aren't women taught the truth of life as well?
@@herelookinatu that is because of how men and women are built psychologically. Men are built more to run on an analytical system where as women run more on an emotions based system. This results in a nurturer and protector type system. Women are psychologically designed to be nurturers but when that nurturing capacity goes bad, it becomes the most insidious creature in existence. Men are psychologically designed to be protectors and when that goes bad men become violent creatures. The reason women don't teach the lessons of life is because of the factor that as a protector, you must constantly be aware of all threats at all times and so you pick up all things that allow you to survive, those are the lessons you teach. As a protector, you must distance your emotions from your survival. So that should answer your question.
@@alexrenee737 Well they better get over their fear. We are fresh out of patience. And we men are not going to sit here in the west and waste our younger years waiting for them to have an epiphany. Women have had decades to correct themselves and we are not going to wait anymore.
Intelligent and courageous woman with a powerful thesis. Thanks Chris.
how? explain
I don't see her thesis. Again, what does she suggest we do with Incels, other than remove porn, prostitutes and sex robots? Because the money these guys won't spend on onlyfans or a blowjob machine they will spend on a gun.
@@cnote3598 watch the full podcast and you'll know how
@@steinsgate514 I did .. she thinks porn has benefits .. she's a feminist and doesn't even know it lol she probably likes voting and being a careerist. Who knows, just a hunch, but a good one based on what I watched. Talk is cheap, remember?
I’m halfway through this episode and I didn’t realize how much I needed this. I’m a woman approaching 30 and adopted a much more conservative view in the last couple years- especially in regards to children and marriage (thanks to Jordan Peterson). I’d always thought there was something wrong with me as a woman for not wanting to watch porn, or feeling guilty for not wanting to sleep with someone early on in a relationship, or not having a libido anywhere close to men, etc etc. I’ll finish the episode later tonight and I’ll probably buy her book too. Thanks for these great podcasts.
me too. if anything its always anxiety i get whenever i date or trying to find a mate. how can one get aroused with basically a stranger? i can go through that with alcohol but eeh i no longer drink so gone my social life too.
and i dont think healthy men are suppose to be hypersexual. it does not work that way unless he is pathological
and i know whatever worldview i adopt, its never going to be perfect so i throw it in the trash as well. i no longer desperately try to look for someone.. i try to be content on my own
Hahaha you hit the wall and now want to settle down when you should have cashed out earlier! 😂 😆 🤣
Every woman I know, including myself, agrees with how you feel 100%. Thanks for saying this.
@@barrontrump3943 Look at you mocking someone for being lost in the crowd at one point, instead of appreciating her for finding her way out of it. Way to go dude, the world really needs more of that. Why not save your anger and derision for the society that glorifies promiscuity, rather than pointing it at a lone individual who you know nothing about? You’re assuming a lot with your incredibly rude comment.
I'm sorry that society lied to you and that you now have to deal with the consequences of everything you did in your twenties when trying to find a mate now in your thirties
I’ve listened to several interviews with this lovely woman. She is wonderful at explaining her points and ideas and has a very soothing voice. I think her studies and work really needs to be heard and studied everywhere.
she opens the video by saying " if sex work is work why is it not ok to sexually harass non sex workers because they are also working"
She seems to talk and does not say much.
@@voidsaverobShe clearly implied that consent was attained. Hence her use of the word "Work", and within the context of comparing it with the main job of the theoretical "sex worker".
Your confusion adds to the argument that "sex work" isn't actually work.
@@sman14GTA bro listen to the intro again tf are you on about. "obtaining consent" around sex from your workplace subordinates is inappropriate and harassment. in no context does it excuse this type of behaviour to seek consent.
@@voidsaverob the consent for sex work, in her comparison, is automatically inherited from its comparison to the actual traditional work that the sex worker is doing where they are engaging with their manager.
People go to work consensually, obviously. Sex work can be done consensually, obviously.
But to put prostitution next to actual work with statements like "sex work is real work", AND to then have a problem with the manager basically asking for extra "professional expertise" highlights how stupid the statement is and the people who stand by that statement.
If it was _actual work of equal value_ , the BJ just be billed as overtime!
A fascinating conversation to listen to because I’m 65 and was there to watch the attitude shift I real time but still connected enough to the past to not think saying yes to every sexual proposition was a good idea.
Man, I am so happy I am in a happy marriage with a wonderful woman. I have been with her for 19 years. What worries us is the environment our children will have to live in. Social media induced craziness, narcissism and depression, transgenderism, the daring and sex landscape. It feels dangerous out there for teenagers and young adults.
Put your little ones in cellophane and tuck them away at home. You might just get away with them not sampling life.
Agreed. Also married 26 yrs. Our kids are young adults and teens. I think having a strong marriage is a huge gift to our children as we are living what the world says is impossible or even a miserable, bad thing. My 16 yr old son even watches shows with me and comments that he doesn't think certain characters have a "proper marriage" I think he means a healthy marriage. Such as Walt and his wife in Breaking Bad.
I and my wife are in the same position. I teach my son to be strongly a MGTOW. For his safe, health and money
If it helps to know, as long as you give them a strong and stable environment, a nurturing Lee one at that, and not forced upon them, they will be unaffected by these outside influences. The transgender one though, that might be a bit hard. I was born before transgender was a word, yet I felt transgender in my early adolescence. This was because even though my parents taught me that your personality and your gender to different things and that me having ovaries didn’t make me have to like one thing or another, as I love lightning McQueen when I was a kid and love to play with toy cars and trains and love the justice league. Despite this, society is still society and when you go to the toy store there’s always a boys section and girls section, and that enough can send the wrong message to a child. Also if they were into kids that bully them and taught them for going against gender norms, that can affect it too. As long as you periodically assure them that being a boy or a girl is not a personality type and that they can be whatever they want to be and do whatever they want and they don’t need to change their whole entire gender identity for it, you should be good
Its amazing how people nowadays worry about kids going through social media induced narracism, depression and trangenderism and these are the same people that talk about the glory days of hold where people's greatest fears were child dying at a young age due to disease, waring tribes etc., just goes to show that we will always be snowflakes.
I'm happy to see people discussing issues like this. The conversation is long overdue.
I was 4 years old when the first birth control pill was marketed. There was such a stir among adults at that time that even I, a pre-kindergarten toddler, was aware of this historic event, even though my elders were "trying" not to discuss it in my presence. That's how repressive society was in the 50,s and early 60,s. Sexual reassignment surgery was another topic adults could not help but whisper about and be overheard by "the kids". Abortion was the next issue and I was in my tweens when it was in the headlines. People whisper about girls who "took a trip to New York." I grew up witnessing the sexual revolution, feminism, Gay pride, and the upheavals and outcry in their wake. People either embraced or rejected these new things. Herpes and AIDS emerged as plagues that put the brakes on what some called Progress and others labeled as Decadence. Humanity has transitioned from strict moral codes to "If it feels good, do it", to having every conflicting idea in between.
We haven't learned how to deal with all these new toys and we haven't figured out how they all mesh into our lives. There's going to be a lot of heartbreak until we figure this out.
That's on these European Immigrants who brought that culture over here. They believed in not speaking up ..... they only came here for the money 🤣
@@Macheako lol what? What European migrants? Where do you live?
Plus we fail to see how much corporations have exploited women by giving them a faustian bargain, of marrying their career while underpaying them, for the most part.
@@JRobbySh And they did it the same way Tom Sawyer convinced the other kids to whitewash the fence for him.
@@fbarnea bro I'm American AF, don't stop half my family being immigrants tho. My grandads line came over on the Mayflower tho 🥰
Great conversation Chris! Listened to Louise here, bought her book. The book is phenomenal, so much research, clear line of thought, strong arguments, eloquent. Would recommend it to anyone.
This has to be one of the most valuable podcasts in existence for young people in relationships. You made an absolute gem out of this one. Thank you.
I agree Kevin.
I grew up to moderate/conservative parents in the 80s and 90s who believed in the sexual revolution. Now, in my late 40s, I can see how detrimental this cultural trend actually was in developing strong marriages. I tried my best to avoid divorce but my first marriage ended after 7 years. Even the beginning of my relationship with my wife was based on sex. While we had what I thought was an open, friends with benefits, relationship, her concept and FEELINGs were different. The bottom line is that women aren't wired to have sex like men can have sex. We have to accept this fact! I don't want my daughters to sleep around with now commitment. Their body and souls are worth more than that! The sexual revolution made sex transactional and removed the value of human interactions, that are the core to why we are here. My wife and I had some amazing times at the beginning but there is so much more to building a family with someone and sharing common goals, like raising children. My life is much richer and I can now see how detrimental transaction sex was and is to people dating today.
Men are wired to have sex based on opportunity, women are wired to have sex based on connection. The whole sexual revolution giving women "power" by controlling conception, only made casual sex more common and hurt women in the process. A good woman with Christian values and an abstinent view on sex is more valuable than ever.
Would like to engage further with this comment but it is such a deep subject I don’t have the time. Generally speaking I agree.
I agree traditional is best ! Transactional sex is awful And commodification of a womens sexuality is bad too
I ran across some statistics a while back pertaining to gay male sexual interactions. The number of sexual partners had by homosexual men was staggering. Women are not wired in a way that gives them the psychological desire to engage in a steady barrage of no holds barred sex.
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So glad I came of age in the 80s and early 90s. Been married to an amazing woman for 24 years now. Was 26 when I got married in 1998...definitely sowed my oats before marriage and figured out what I was looking for in a partner and she and I never take anything we have for granted. Listening to my single friends of all ages 22-50 talk about the horrors of dating these days....it sounds like mine field.
I cannot even imagine dealing with all of that nonsense. I would rather pack a bag and go disappear into the mountains and live in a cabin and let society continue to lose its mind.
The messages our "culture " pushes out sound like the ravings of a lunatic. Its no wonder men and women are all completely confused, misguided and there is such a huge disconnect between the two.
Its truly sad. As one other person pointed out...men and women complement each other...its not a competition....yet by and large all of these movememts and media etc have driven such a massive wedge between men and women I honestly do not see how that gap will ever be closed. I truly feel for you decent single folks who are looking for a mate.
I agree. I believe society is dividing into more and more subgroups. I think that is the way it will go. The people who want to have casual sex and an abortion every other month can go off in their corner, and this growing segment of the population who rejects that idea will go off to ours.
Porn culture ruined (poisoned?) so many relational aspects. Very sad. We have a society of bitter, chronic masturbators and cynical, hairless porn star wannabes. It isn't healthy.
Well yes, the more socially conservative and religious are still having (mostly) stable marriages and lots of children. I am Catholic and have 3 kids. I have friends who are married with 6 kids, 9 kids and 8 kids and are grandmas in their 50s because their kids still marry in their mid 20s.
I am concerned about all the poor kids growing up in chaotic homes and environments with no stability and absent parents. That has been happening in large numbers for two generations now.
You're reminding me of a friend of mine who recently got married. Obviously I want him to be happy, but I would be lying if I said I wasn't worried for him. His wife seems like she has a lot of red flags. They are both in the military and as he was driving me back to the airport I heard the wife call on speaker to complain about her boss and all the "white males" she has to work for. My buddy tried to joke about it since he is a white male, but there are so many more clues that she is miserable trying to "prove herself" to impossible feminist standards. This is even though it has lead to her needing back surgery because of all of the physical labor she takes on "to not feel worthless."
@@maskedbadass6802 lol. Yes white men make her work, back pain picking up, it's a sin women trying to be men.
My first time as a man made me wish I had waited, it felt forced on my part. I also tried the casual game but everything felt like I was just using myself to pleasure the ladies, I was detached and it meant nothing and made me feel hollow and empty
as a guy who's never had a gf, but was just ditched by a "casual" partner before she had sex with me, this makes me realize that maybe it wasn't such a bad thing. I wanted something real but she just wanted to fool around without the commitment. It felt so sudden that she didn't want to be with me anymore when I thought we were having a good time together, and it hurt to have that opportunity of experiencing it taken away from me, really messed with my head. But I think I'm just realizing that she wasn't a very good person and I wouldn't wanna do that with someone like that anyway. I just hope that there is still someone out there for me, because with everything going on, and knowing what kind of guy I am, I gotta say it seems extremely unlikely.
@@clownanonymous6174 im curious, did that woman know you were a virgin?
"I also tried the casual game but everything felt like I was just using myself to pleasure the ladies"
and thats your mistake. you dont to this to pleasure others, you do it because YOU enjoy it. if you arent enjoying it and you are doing it to please others it cannot work, meaning you will get no satisfaction from it. and satisfaction is the whole point of it to begin with.
the question that i find interesting is: why do you rate pleasing others higher than yourself?
@@raze956for me that's been the motivation for all the best sex I've had. Where I'm working to please someone and they're doing the same to me.
Love her. Brilliant, provocative and sane. Believable. 💚
Chris, I've been following the 'Intellectual Darkweb' for years now, and you are absolutely 100% up there with Peterson, Vervaeke etc. in regard to how interesting the topics you are discussing are. For a Love Island lad from my part of England, the transformation you have undergone is also really inspiring.
Any time a notification for a video notification for a new video pops up, you're always first on the list.
Keep up the good work man, this was such an amazing conversation. Louise Perry is a gem too; such intellect and reflection upon her own paradigm of feminism.
"So focused on a some-what imaginary enemy, that they cant actually interrogate the coherence of their actual views"
talking about US-centric feminism is spot on.
Louise Perry, always a treat where-ever you encounter her. Her retro-feminism is quite radical. Thank you, Chris for having her on. Thank you Louise for coming and sharing.
She is just an `Ain't it awful´ conservative. Conservative shaming, attempts to stigmatize and forbid non-monogamous relationships while promoting gender binary relationships because of the economic benefits of demographic expansion to those at the top of the economic pyramid. The Feudal Gentry´s optimized tax code disincentivizes building a family.
Don't be with someone you want to sleep with. Be with someone you want to wake up to.
Excellent advice!
*Yep. And never sleep with someone you wouldn't have a child with*
I hate mornings....
I don't want to wake up to anybody. I want the bed to myself.
Be both
I've met countless women who've gone through the motions, shagged around, done it all, etc. The vast majority of them end up worn out and resentful. I've also witnessed lots of them then literally hate to see other people who've chosen a different approach and are happy in a relationship attempt to pour scorn on others. If it's free choice then why is it that there is such negative vehemence from these people who chose and lost? There are few shortcuts, and I find people are simply too lazy and expect everything instantly with no input. It's definitely a problem in the West and it will come back to bite us.
I've had similar observations. There definitely seems to be a correlation between the amount of sexual promiscuity and the amount of trauma/emotional baggage/instability/bitterness in women.
Instant gratification is a sad lonely life.
I always thought that this notion of having to go wild now and then settle down later if they did have the chance to settle down is a destructive thought process. When you get to have that ingrained in your nature that it gives you dopamine so much that some people got numb by it, you cant just snap your finger and decide to stop so you will be monogamous and be satisfied and happy. Youre like going upstream the whole time fighting a battle within yourself to stay on the right course. That explains why some people, even though they are living a good life as most of us percieve it, ends up being depressed and misetable. Your mind is pre occupied on the battle to change your perspective in life that any ripple or small obstruction on that path will break you. I think people need to learn how to find a way to strengthen their resolve to accomodate all this pressure since society already distorted formative years that built our core values the wrong way.
It’s because misery loves company. They don’t want to face the mirror alone and realize they made the wrong choices. That would mean they would have to take accountability for their actions, and can’t play the victim card.
I've seen the same thing too. Older women who swallowed the feminist ideology.
This woman gets it. I was starting to think that it was impossible for a woman to understand the male perspective but I'm now filled with hope. Thank you for putting this video into existence.
Another woman that gets it is the Chanel pearly things on RUclips. She also get it
@@elchucapablas thx man!
Perhaps.....women many times say what you want to hear but actions do not change.
@@toddjohnson271 who hurt you, buddy?
@@vettie thee most common rebuttal. Paint the messenger a jilted, irrational person. Any real comments?
This conversation made me very sad. I'm glad that people are finally talking about the wreckage that promiscuity has wrought. And really sad we had to learn the hard way. So many broken lives.
"sad we had to learn the hard way?!?!!" It was in the cards, it happened!!! why grovel and spit and moan that it happened that way???? PICK UP MOVE ON!
Forlorn monogamy is not pleasant.
The sub context of this question had me thinking "maybe men dont naturally die before women" it seems like its on Men to basically do everything, especially when we know now womens educational prowess, maybe just maybe men worked themselves to death to provide the best lives they could for women and children.
Which gave me another Eureka moment so I checked and what do you know...
Gay men make more money, live longer and happier lives than apparently straight men, straight women and lesbiand women...
It seems instead of saying as always "men need to do more and be better" It might actually be the cost of "earning" and maintaining a woman has always been too high.
I may have a band-aid solution.
End involuntary child support.
If women KNOW they will have to raise a child on their own unless they get a written agreement with the father, they are less likely to sleep around.
Most sane women don't WANT to have an abortion or be a single mother.
@@aCycloneSteve Whenever this is proposed you need to understand society does not want to support your child NOR does society want to deal with the ramifications of a unsupported child.
Child support was a conservative mans legislation not a liberal woman's. Understand conservative men believe (as they should logically) men are more responsible than women, benevolent sexism if you will.
Thank you for bringing up this topic. I am so grateful for this discussion.
the middle is either no more, or shrinking.
we are now just people who are willing to questions things, and people who arent.
This chat is GOLD!!!! thank you both for having this conversation it is much needed.
Many thanks for this discussion. Suggesting that polygamy or promiscuity is ‘natural’ to men seems to me like saying murder, rape, theft, unhealthy eating/drinking are all ‘natural’. That kind of ‘natural’ does not make such activity wise, insightful or psychologically having wholesome results. Men also have minds and using them in self-reflection is also ‘natural’; its being regarded as a ‘minority sport’ does not make it ‘unnatural’.
@steffihaas7490 Thanks, Steffi. You are probably aware that, historically, various ancient societies formally accepted polygyny (having multiple wives/women simultaneously). Today, Islamic law formally permits polygyny (a man may have up to four wives, provided he treats them “justly” (i.e according to Islamic law) and equally, and any number of concubines); parents can marry a daughter off at any age and not necessarily with her consent. Tibet had a system permitting polyandry (having multiple husbands/men simultaneously); I think this was generally “fraternal polyandry”, where the men were brothers and the aim was to avoid dividing family land and other assets on marriage (this system may not have been limited to Tibet). Though accepted legally in those societies, I cannot say how common polygyny/polyandry was/is.
Well men having lots of sexual partners is how the species is guaranteed to keep going. That is what I think they mean.
@steffihaas7490 Like she said, roughly 80% of them allowed polygyny (the taking of multiple wives/concubines) in some form. The most successful among them had stricter rules or less common polygyny, however a massive proportion of primitive societies (such as Mongols or Madagascan tribes) engaged in habitual polygamy where a small proportion of men kept all the women, and the rest of the men were killed off in tribal conflicts.
I really appreciate her retort to the woke-fem complaint about unwanted workplace sexual attention while at the same time claiming sex work is just work. We need to think clearly like this as a culture.
That's different as workplace sexual attention is unwanted and non-consensual. Sex work is consensual
@@technoloverish when you hypersexualise society, youre shooting yourself in the foot.
@@noticing33
Are you basing that on the bible?
I didn't think that was logical, I mean it goes with the job description (even though some job descriptions leave it vague as to the extra tasks a boss can ask you to do)
I think sexual attention on the job versus sexual attention when it IS your job are very different things.
Fantastic interview and guest. I've only just discovered Louise Perry. The world needs more of her.
the world needs more of her victim blaming bullshit to end.
@@kaivogel253 Nah, we all need less of your incapacity to grapple with complexity and nuance. And your juvenile fits, we definitely need less of that too. Your toxicity too, we need less of that. In fact, the world would be a much better place if you weren't here. But you are, what can we do.....
Interview was garbage.
I've heard her on another podcast blaming our present day woes on high status, attractive "Hugh Hefners", her words, for "consuming women", seemingly oblivious to the fact that if these women were not willing, they could not be "consumed". She may espouse some conservative-sounding views, but Louise Perry is still a men-are-to-blame-for everything feminist at heart. Zero accountability for women.
@@lewislee9201 absolutely braindead take. Look at sexual crime statistics you complete troglodyte. It's still the women doing the dying.
Her characterization of the #MeToo clamor as blame-displacement secondary to imbibing the lie of casual sex was bang on! 👏🏼
The scariest thing about striving to achieve emotion-free sex is … succeeding.
I grew up in the 80s. I hung around two women that were very promiscuous. I never questioned their activity, and they never questioned my lack of They ended up alright. They both are in very successful marriages and are grandmothers.
Can’t and won’t argue with that statement…”scary” is the bare-bones-baseline staring point, meaning at the VERY LEAST it is scary, and cringe to imagine the cliff it falls off from there?
People who achieve emotion-free sex include rapists and prostitutes.
@@janetappmeyer7483 I am not buying that. You are seeing "success" from the "female lens" which is extremely distorted. The fact that they have had "successful marriages" means absolutely nothing. Did their husbands search them? Did they scan their workplace, their friendly environment for signs of cheating? Did they DNA test the kids? Or should I investigate the husbands themselves? Maybe they are just cucks. It is pointless saying that "I know 2 promiscuous women that went on to have successful marriages". Promiscuous women are notorious for selecting cuck husbands, this is a known fact since even before the sexual revolution. Back in reality, while a promiscuous woman may undergo a change of heart and change her ways, that is rather the exception and not the rule. A promiscuous woman has multiple times of a higher chance to cheat in a marriage. Hence, the fact that these women have had "successful marriages" refers only to their ability to manage their marriage in a way that sustained it. It says absolutely nothing about how "successful" was the marriage for their husbands. If they are cucks, or if they just resigned to "it is cheaper to keep her than divorce her", we just don't know. All we know is that the started their marriages, already defeated for having married promiscuous women.
@@janetappmeyer7483So they found 2 fools (probably weren’t fucking them either) to marry. Ignorance is bliss.
When my daughter gets a bit older (she’s 12) I will send her this podcast and buy the book!
Why not now? Educate her while she's young, and before she does anything she might later regret.
Yeah she's definitely old enough to hear about this subject. I didn't find anything in this conversation that was nitty-gritty
Better hurry, before you accidentally send her to "school" and becomes a rabid feminist.
Don’t wait, 12 in this era is like 18 decades ago. Have real discussions with her now, in person. Don’t let a RUclips video do your job as a parent!
@@charlieweaver6322 She has no access to the internet or phone so I have preserved time!
Thank you for this interview! Louise articulates many of the conclusions I've come to in my own mind recently.
I was born in 1950. I could sense something amiss with women’s liberation from the beginning. My mother had to go to work when I was about 8 years old due to my dad’s illness. Mother’s absence from the home was a personal tragedy to me. It had been such a joy to come home from school, smell something wonderful cooking in the kitchen and get a mother hug. Instead, after that, I found myself anxious at the end of the day, fearing that something would happen to her before she could arrive home from work. I have heard that women’s lib was dreamed up by someone in government who not only wanted to increase the tax base, but cause children to be forced into government sponsored educational situations at a much earlier age. Now it seems in some ways women have less choice than ever. Most have been forced into the workplace because now it takes two incomes to support most families. The other downfall is that most have been convinced by the culture that they have to submit to sexual sin before marriage if they want to be considered normal.Has anyone noticed, as a result, that there are far fewer love songs these days? They have been replaced by vulgar lyrics which often have nothing to do with actual love. It is a much colder world now than the one I knew in my early years.
Thanks to feminism your mother could work and support the family.
I was born in 1962. My father cheated on my mother and finally divorced him. She also went back to work. Understanding life didn't have me wanting mommy to make dinner as I knew she had to work to be able to look after me.
@@wyleecoyotee4252 great for you, I guess you're a better and more enlightened person than I am and you are not foolish enough to be overly attached to your maternal unit. I missed my mother because the trauma of losing my father made me much more afraid of losing Mother, too. I knew the highway to the city where she worked was dangerous. I also knew that her boss was lecherous and her job hung by a thread. She was sad and stressed and she needed me as much as I needed her. Besides that my mother had vulnerable health.
I think up to a certain point women's liberation was a good thing. People should get equal pay for equal performance. Every citizen should have the right to vote. But like any other good cause, it can be taken to an extreme. I've seen the changes in society since the 50s. Some are very good. Black people finally began getting the respect they deserve. On the other hand, many things began to suffer when most women did not have the option to stay home, as the economy changed in a way that most families these days require two incomes. Where at one time most old people had family assistance because someone was available to care for them. Pets did not have to stay isolated for full days at the time. Children were safer because someone was home when they came home from school. (I could go into detail about my own experience, but I won't.) It was not such a hurried, hectic world with everyone rushing to get to places on time.
@@ursalaoutrageous9249 Love how you responded to her smug reply!
@@wyleecoyotee4252 Erm, women worked before feminism. Women were bakers, housemaids, factory workers, shop owners, retail assistants, business owners, seamstresses, pub owners, barmaids, and much, much, more. At least know your history before making such a ridiculous statement.
@@peachesandcream8753
Women weren't allowed to own any property or businesses, or borrow money, not until after the 1950's.
All they could get were low paying jobs and just get by. They did not have options to be educated towards lucrative jobs.
You are the one who should check your history
I have always agreed with all of the concepts she talks about... im so glad someone is finally speaking about this in a high profile way
I think it’s not just feminism, it’s extended lifespans and also living in the most peaceful time in history. Humans evolved with men dying in large numbers in war and women dying in large numbers giving birth. Society is still adjusting to these two major changes.
Good point. The average marriage length in history for those reasons was about a fifth of how long mine has lasted! We have few models for very long marriage.
@@sisiphas maybe there are more examples among royalty? You can’t blame women for being hypergamous because choose wrong and you’re a widow because your husband is a dead man walking and same goes for men wanting women who are young and healthy because choose wrong and you’re a widower because your wife is dead after the first baby if she can have a baby at all.
And children dying in large numbers.
Yeah, but it is mostly to do with the contraceptive pill.
150 years ago, a fertile married woman would be more-or-less permanently pregnant from 16 to 40.
By the time their youngest kid has become independent, they would have been approaching death.
Humans are still adjusting to being able to control fire. God-like technology, Medieval institutions, and Monkey-like brains.
Profoundly refreshing. So, so grateful for this episode. Phew. There are still people who sincerely want to find an objective path for *everyone's* benefit. Whenever I hear people who have renounced taking sides etc - it's food for the soul. Also, I'm going to buy Louise Perry's book now. Sincere intention and courage deserve and need encouragement, as well as support.
Bravo.
👏👏👏👏
🔥🔥🔥🔥
P.S Louise - please narrate the audiobook of your book. Speaking as a voice actor, I think only actors should narrate novels. I just went straight to Audible as I'd rather hear your narrate your book. Ah well! Will buy the Kindle version instead. You've got a good voice for it too, give it some consideration!
Listening to this podcast episode was wonderful. It's so relieving and refreshing to hear logical (and what should be common sense in many cases) perspectives on these topics (especially as an American woman since these perspectives are more taboo where I'm from for some reason). I also learned a bit about the male perspective in regards to this subject, which I found to be really interesting. There is this growing divide and resentment I've been witnessing between the sexes, and this podcast presented some great explanations as to why that is. I'm hoping this downhill trajectory in society, especially with newer generations, can be reversed, and conversations like these a critical part of that healing process. I'll be checking out more of your podcast in the near future. Great work!
She's come to the proper conclusion based on reason. That's wonderful. I hope that one lesson she, and others, will take away from this is that morals, which bring one to the same conclusion, are also based on reason! People will dismiss moral arguments, out of hand, but they'll expect to be listened to, even celebrated, for coming to the exact same conclusions via their reason. Folks, live a moral life. You'll have a better time, overall.
This is an absolutely amazing conversation. Well done Chris and Louise.
Goodness, I wish this had been around and that I had listened to it ten years ago. Could have saved myself so much pain and time. Conversations like these are so important.
I feel exactly the same way except in my case I wish it had been around 50 years ago.
The Bible has been making the same arguments for ages. I'd highly recommend.
I really think that your podcast is going to be one of the best. You can see every tiny detail that you worked on since you began to perfect this. Great work man.
Over and over I keep hearing her say the same kind of thing a dozen times. She's not a Christian, and she's not Conservative, but she believes that the Christian Conservatives are right.
Not only that, but she admits that the spreading of Judeo-Christian morals was radically unique and miraculous, and brought about freedoms through standards which protected women and empowered women, and that the divorce from Christian values has become disastrous for women.
Who would have guessed this would happen? Literally almost every other Bible believer and pulpit preacher did.
Love this conversation so much, this message needs to be spread everywhere. I'm tired of this woke feminism culture so much. Seeing intelligent people like you start the conversations gives me hope to this declining world. I'm in the US and can't wait to read your book Louise. Please keep doing this awesome job. Thanks Chris for bringing her to your podcast.
This message has been spread for ages by the Bible, apart from the nonsense at the end where she said women should wait 3 months to give it up. Sex should be confined to marriage.
feminism comes from some serious abuses Thats a pretty fucked up thing to hear from those of us who (literally millions) were raped as children by fathers and step fathers.. for me it was age 2-14. Most women I meet have a similar story... never were allowed to be virgins... what would you say to them??
@Karen Haggard - I would say I'm very sorry that you and other women have had to live through such horrors. I don't think the solution to such bad behaviour by men is feminism, though. I believe the solution is biblical patriarchy, where such evil and wicked men are dealt with accordingly.
Me too. I’m also really upset that I kind of bought into when I was very young (late teens to very early twenties).
I now have some horrible degrading memories because I thought I had to force myself to be the cool modern woman. The pure shame and sorrow feels overwhelming sometimes.
@Blondie - So sorry to hear. The good news is you've done the hardest part, which is acknowledging your past mistakes. All the best for the future! Spread the word to other young women.
Been waiting, waiting, waiting for the discussion to turn to sexless marriage, the weaponization of divorce and it's impact on men turning away from involvement with women. Chris, please interview Bettina Arndt to bring that dynamic into play. Please.
Interview Colttaine
A woman usualy does want sex if her emotional needs are met.
This is so depressing - I have a 16 and 13 year old and I'm so sad for their future and I have no idea how to steer them through this mess we've created
Are they girls, boys, or both?
@@charlieweaver6322 girl 16 and boy 13. I grew up in the eighties so the internet/porn, only fans and dating apps etc...were non existent. I wish things were simple again for the next generation
@@lottie4321 I'm probably similar age to you, born 1981, but have no kids, only nieces and nephews.
Each generation has theirs own challenges, they will no doubt be better adapted than the likes of you an I, but general principles of reality still apply. Best, I think, to try to ask them what they want, non judgementally, and let them come to their own conclusions. The Socratic method is probably best. Good luck 👍
For boys its usually an options of two binary ranges, girls mostly always land on their feet and have more than 99 lives in today's world when they had only 1 or 2 a 100 years back. Exactly why most transitions are from boy to girl. Ofcourse this is the case at this moment, things could easily flip in the next breath.
I am Catholic and I find there are still lots of healthy families at church and in Catholic schools. For example all my young adult and teen kids have best friends whose parents are still married (we have been married 26 yrd) .I know secular people won't accept it, but a loving community of people who share the same beliefs, values and rituals create a stable society and religion is most successful at reproducing that.
You have men that can't get laid, and then you have men like me who deliberately decided to opt out of the entire process. For the early portion of my adult life I had difficulties with steady employment, which made my personal requirements for starting a family ( A stable income and my own house) quite trying. Meeting and sleeping with women was by and large not incredibly difficult. Finding a woman I actually wanted to keep however, was. I seemed to attract a particular type of crazy that was exceedingly unhealthy for my self and my family members. I was engaged twice, and left at the altar both times for insisting on traditional vows. After the second time, I decided to simply focus on myself. I was blessed enough to be able to assist in the raising of my sibling's children, and now have a stable life and my own home. While I'm willing to admit that I miss the companionship, and would most likely be happier with the right woman in my life, I am by and large content with what I have.
Check out finding a good Filipina. They have traditional values and like go all in with their partner. Start looking up Filipina Pea. Lots of content
She has quite a calming voice and demeanor, seems very level headed too
Interesting that she points out how young girls are being taught to suppress their instincts for the sake of casual sex. I wonder if the same principle can be applied to motherhood. Motherhood and postpartum is so often talked about as some kind of prison. I'm sure it can feel that way and maybe it is for some, but it also can be something beautiful and fulfilling.
Of course the same principle can be applied. The world is mad and full of lies.
I think there are several problems here: one the hyper medicalization of pregnancy and childbirth. With most hospital facilities having a north or 30% surgical birth rate, it seems reasonable to have fears around the experience. The second is an elevation of self above all else, and the idea that fulfillment can be found in career. Lastly, there is a culture that seems almost childlike in mindset, well into adulthood.
@@OUpsychChick yes! That childlike mindset among adults you mention is something I’ve been noticing a lot lately. I used to be a school teacher and I feel like I am hearing so many grown folk struggling with the same adolescent issues that were common among my students.
@@OUpsychChick "the idea that fulfillment can be found in career".
Spot on. Sometimes I wonder how is feminism not just a scam of wild capitalism...
@@Yarblocosifilitico well it basically is
*Chris Williamson,* *Coleman Hughes* and *Lex Fridman* are my favourite interview podcasters. Never a dull moment.
Triggernometry is great too
@@Teal_Seal Indeed.
Great podcasters.
Real talk with Zuby is decent too
My list is obviously too short!😎
What a pretty, lovely and intelligent woman. I'm glad she, and others like her, exist. She certainly paints the picture of a world in which I want my own daughter to live. The opposite of what she is saying and what she supports is a really dark world. We all know how we arrived to this moment in society and culture and it's sad.
What are they trying to achieve? What rights don't they have. I don't think the average guy benefitted from the sexual revolution much. I think the phrase "Quiet desperation" sums up my experience being in my late teens and early 20's.
The average guy didn't benefit at all. I do feel for women in the past that felt they had to settle for someone they didn't really want though. Human nature is that women are a lot more picky than men, which makes sense, they effectively select the best genes to reproduce
@Genevieve Pilz Agreed. But your comment shows Women's total lack of empathy towards Men.
The ultimate goal is for women to become men, minus the accountability. I think the only men that benefitted from the sexual revolution were the rich and powerful with their weird proclivities. Think John money and Alfred Kinsey-they were degenerates that wanted their perversions to be accepted as natural and they succeeded. But in terms of the average man this has been a disaster. I don’t recall where I heard this but a recent poll showed that 40% of American men did not want to get married and it’s no wonder. The scales are absolutely out of the average man’s favor.
@@nickst0ne Woman here - great advice!! 👍 Those actions convey confidence and discipline. Very attractive indeed.
@@nickst0ne Thanks, it was long ago I'm fine now. But I remember how it felt
What an intelligent, level headed, lovely woman. This was a fantastic interview. Looking forward to reading the book!
I've never seen or heard of Louise before but I was very impressed too. Hope she gets more of a platform!
"My husband and I are both Powerlifters.." didn't see that coming..
I'm glad she touched on the explosion of "rape" allegations on college campuses being related to women having drunken gross sex and feeling bad about it..thats something that you could never mention but seems so obviously a factor...I hope people read her book! This was a good conversation.
I burst out with uncontrollable laughter after she completed talking about quasi consensual sex and you encouraged her with an enthusiastic “you nailed it”
"The only person to blame is the man"...she chose to go back to his place with him. Women have yet to learn the concept of personal responsibility for their actions.
No internal locus of control. That is one underlying issue, and it needs addressing urgently. Disney and feminism+social media have been utterly toxic on this.
My truest happiness came when my kids arrived. Yes they are a burden at times and yes they cost on all fronts and yes you sacrifice certain life options but the love and purpose is phenomenal.
Agreed. My son is my gift from heaven
I've listened to this interview a couple of times and it remains one of the best conversations on this subject I heard.
"Traditional sexual norms existed to control both young women's and young men's sexuality," and "There's no conspiracy. No one is enforcing it. We're all responding to incentives as individuals" are two of my favorite statements that Perry made in this, that are maybe the opposite of typical feminism. All of traditional society wasn't set up to oppress women and benefit men, and there isn't a modern day patriarchal conspiracy, either. Doesn't mean that women weren't targeted for oppression in certain ways (and men in others). There are bigger forces at play, and men and women are mostly in it together. These are much more healthy, nuanced conversations to have.
Basically it results in the subjugation of lower class women, in an effort to “protect” against men. Instead of curtailing those responsible and holding them to a higher standard we lowered the bar for everyone.
Nice description. Louise Perry is both a writer *and* an author. What prestige!
Seriously loved the talk. Thanks for doing this.
Of topic but, can we please appreciate the way this woman talks mannn ! i can listen to her for a day ,so is so intelligent !!
the bit about dating apps being a commodified version of sex and relating that to consumerism at large -- mind blowing. Also love the term luxury beliefs and that very nuanced, nested set of propositions! Can’t wait to read this book
Best RUclips video I’ve ever seen. Thanks so much. So heartwarming and wonderful. Have been telling folks these things for years and no one listened (I’m a millennial too) and so great to see this duo echo the same things so articulately and searingly.
Women may well no longer need men for anything at all. But children need fathers. I know this from countless occasions in my own personal experience. Children who have a happy relationship with their father behave completely differently to children who have no father when interacting with myself. The difference is so striking that a complete layman cannot fail to see the difference. School teachers have reported such differences for decades.
Her understanding of the current situation is the best I’ve heard.
I think for many men, porn is a correlation, not causation for lack of significant relationships. The dismal dating scene and with all WOmen desiring the top 10%, leaves the other 90% of men alone and satisfying needs as users of the porn knuckle shuffle.
Bro . ...they will NEVER stop blaming porn 🤣🤣
“The porn knuckle shuffle” 🤣 never heard that one!
The "blackpill model" is perhaps the way the sexual market place works and the dating/mating space we see....
However what ppl fail to realise is that if u are left to the MARKET ITSELF and the WIDER WORLD.....then you will mostly find yourself competing with just your SMV and no social proof, the results of with can be BTUTAL.....lol
But if one has access to a social circle.....then what SOCIAL CIRCLES are.....are mini closed off worlds......
With a set number of individuals inside it. And as it is a tribe like setting with a DISTINCT human/social fabric......it is more "MERCIFUL" to the participants within its Safety net....
The social circle humanises the members and makes ppl mean MORE to each other then just raw SMV...
That is perhaps how offy dooffy operates.
And as women are naturally emotional thinkers can attach themselves to guys that have the time and platform to prove thier other interpersonal/emotional skills......this is what the social circle provides.
It works to HUMANISE its participants.
Where as the modern world/dating market works to DEHUMANISE its participants.
Ppl will argue AGAINST the social circle maxing...
BECAUSE so many ppl don't have a social circle anymore or have never had.
Peace x
When there are highly realistic sex robots in the future, the feminists will push strongly for a ban, knowing that many men would be largely satisfied, with far less incentive to shuffle their resources into the pockets of women.
Obviously...
A healthy man doesn't need any porn when he's in a stable relationship. But when men are completely invisible to women, they inevitably become either simps, incels or MGTOWs... and porn remains the only access to female nudity they have...
Great to see an intelligent person yielding her ideology to the reasonable thought and observation
Started out just seeing what she was about, ended up enchanted and encouraged
Women are doing great in the ways that don’t make them happy long term and in fact harm their long term interests. Congratulations. Way to go, girl. Crush the men you’re going to need later.
Men are structurally set up to provide for women. So crushing men is actually pretty easy.
Hurting men hurts women. We are the two halves to the human whole
And don’t you dare tell them that, or they’ll bring up past ills that happened generations ago that they have never experienced. They think it’s just punishment for young boys of today to suffer for the sins of four generations past, while their cognitive dissidence allows them to forget that it’s their own sons who they’re speaking of…that deserve punishment
@@LuckysLair folks don’t seem to understand what happens when they punish the undeserving.
On a completely unrelated note, what’s up with that 30% of men who haven’t had sex???
What makes you’all think women need men later?
The only thing women need fro men is mostly MONEY.
45:00 A man getting his shit together used to be an incentive for sexual access secured in marriage. In this day and age, however, more and more men experience little to no sex after marriage. So it really is a lose-lose for them. In essence, modern marriage is truly the most expensive form of chastity. If a man wants sexual access, he should engage in long-term dating, but never get married. Long-term dating offers significantly more legal shelter from the (rather biased) family court system, as well.
Hence the joke that sex after children in marriage follows the ABC rule. You only get it at Anniversaries, your Birthday, and at Christmas.
Genuinely good point. Wives were once encouraged to make sure their husband's sexual needs were met. Now that's become another thing that's seen as absurd and old fashioned so the husband's desires just go ignored only they're now tied to one lady so can't go elsewhere without risk of being caught and losing everything in a divorce.
I've never really understood the woman's perspective here. Is it really so hard to make sure your husband isn't desperate? Wasn't part of the deal to try and meet eachother's needs on eachother's terms? Obviously a man can't expect sex on demand just because he is married, but marriage granted sexual access to men in the past whereas today your sexual access decreases in most cases.
@@zeno2501 I honestly don't believe the majority of women have the capacity to understand the importance of sex to a male. For us, it's a curious mix of appetite, power, desire, and the amazing experience of a woman essentially saying, "You are worthy to partner with me and [possibly] bear my children." In a way that's difficult to put into words, it's an experience of acceptance and worthiness. Also, since sexual desire isn't as strong for most women, they don't see how terrible it is to deny it.
@@zeno2501 I can explain part of what happens to some women, although I can't say its everyone. Women need build up. Husbands stop DATING their wives. They already "got" her, so when they want some they just paw at her with no warning. Build. Sexual. Tension! Over a day! Don't forget how to FLIRT.
I don't like how he said that things like red pill are coping mechanisms for sexless men, or something like that. There are plenty of men of differing status who rail against the biased courts and who criticize women. These days any problem you have with women automatically means you're an incel. I think it has to do with what she said about women's intuition, that if you can't get a girl, then there must be something wrong with you, or you need to get your act together. I'm no catch myself but I've seen far better men than me get the exact same treatment, so I know the women's intuition thing is BS. There nothing wrong with saying that women can be just as bad as men.
I've always felt that hookup culture was a lie since day 1. I could use a vibrator and get the same if better results. For me it's about connecting with my partner and they're trying to tear that down
i feel the same way. then men i've hooked up with out of committed relationships NEVER satisfied me like a simple vibrator did. participating in hookup culture was an absolute scam and i'm disgusted with the people who promoted it and still do. soulless demons.
@@こなた-m1o should be rather obvious that women are not designed by nature to gain much physical joy out of it
The majority of women don't orgasm from a one night stand.
But... the majority of women who have one ONS will do it again.
Sexual validation must be a factor, because satisfaction doesn't explain it.
Women seem to "break" themselves with casual sex. They sleep with higher status men than they could get to commit to them, and that experience will poison any committed relationship they try to have. It devalues the man.
It's really nice to hear intelligent, open and thoughtful conversation about this stuff. The rhetoric I see and hear on most days is horrible, and there is no space to talk about it normally.
This Woman's great! Speaking the truth!
It hasen‘t failed. It was successful. We were just fooled about the goals it had.
We ? We being who ? We men and center right and libertarian leaning saw it all along. Post modernist politics pushed through feminism since 1964. Here are the DISASTROUS RESULTS.
@@williamtuite1120 you are right. With we I mean the public is fooled trough TV, Hollywood and Netflix&Co
50% of marriages end in divorce and thats only the people that have the guts to leave. It doesn't work. we need to face it. the top guys should get the women.
@georgemartin I don’t think it’s about having the gut to leave. People are getting married for the wrong reasons.
@@georgemartin4354 but why should the top guys get the women? You didn't tell us why they should? just because?
The best part about monogamy is that it allows women to voice their want for stability for their children and their preference for mates and combine it and harness men's ambition.
Except that we have a system that allows women to leave men, take their children, and all of their assets.
And contrary to popular belief married people are having the most regular sex and are more satisfied with their sex lives than single people. I hope she puts the results of those studies in her book. Young people are being lied to.
@@viviennedunbar3374 Because male nature is polygamous, there's a natural understanding that a man may never repoduce. Therefore males gain happiness from their mission irregardless of relationship status.
...but ..... monogamy was forced on society by priests.... male celibate priests ... and the choice if the husbandcwas made by the family of the bride ... she had no say throughout the centuries.
Fatherly and priest controlled Monogamy should not be viewed through sweet pink glasses .... it has as many positives as negatives.
Patriarchal families weren't constructed for a woman's benefit.
I loved this interview. I'm left inclined, socialist from a big feminist family. She synthesized what i was somehow intuiting. She is very intteligent with a really nuanced and complex review of the topic. Really lovely here intelligence.
It took 22% of the 21st century and up to literally yesterday for someone to have to guts to come out and say all this. Keep up.
"You're so fit you should be on only fans" - This is a tragic state of a affairs that there is a guy out there who thinks at any level of consciousness that a women would take that as a compliment.
I'd say it's beyond crazy...
i recently read some dating "advice" that suggested it was best to focus on "tonality" in dates.... literally another way of saying "don't have a monotone". THAT was the advice? ffs....
The fact that at least a portion of women WOULD take it as a compliment is far worse.
That’s creepy AF
@@laurendearnley9595 It’s honestly depressing. If you’d like to know the psychology behind it, it’s women whose value has only been boil to her perceived attractiveness. That being said, when her attractiveness and therefore her value as a human being is purely based off of how sexually alluring she is, if he was empowering to her when she’s told something like this. It’s honestly really sad.
Along with the expectations that women should be sexually aggressive and promiscuous, there is an expectation from men within marriages that their female partner’s sexual appetite should always match the men with no rise and fall around life event like pregnancy, childbirth, child rearing, breastfeeding, menopause etc which means women are left feeling inadequate when they have entirely natural and evolutionarily necessary patterns in libido. It has gotten to the point where women with a libido that doesn’t match their male partner’s are expected to pursue medication and treatment as though their is something medically wrong with them for not having male sexual behavior! It’s quite sickening.